Premier League Match 5 - Sheffield United 0 Southampton 1

And again.....

After Manchester United, came the international break but before that came the closing of the European transfer window. In the hope that other European Leagues would follow suit, the Premier League decided to end its transfer window before the season started which is actually very very sensible. However, unsurprisingly, we are out of step with the rest of Europe and all the other leagues just kept exactly where it was on the 1st of September because in their eyes, if the English clubs are prepared to give themselves a disadvantage, why should we stop them. It’s a bit like art imitating life really isn’t it?

Anyhow, what it meant was that Saints didn’t have to panic about getting rid of some of the deadwood as we had an extra month to do this with the added bonus that the players leaving would not be playing against us next season. Hence, Fraser Forster departed on loan to Celtic, Mohammed Elyounoussi surprisingly did the same, Wesley Hoedt went to Antwerp and Mario Lemina went to Galatasaray. #TonicLikeWarmPiss

I’ve always had a very dim view of the loan system and thought it was fundamentally wrong for a number of reasons but we are really using it to our advantage this season. Not in the same way that Chelsea do, which is to stockpile players to not let anyone else have them with no intention of them ever playing for the first team. In our case, we have loaned out a lot of players because they are either promising youngsters who need experience like Tom O’Connor or because they are overpaid overrated shit that we have bought without a receipt and cannot return them as not fit for purpose.

Firmly in the latter category are Hoedt, Lemina, Carrillo and Elyounoussi, none of whom have proved for a period of longer than a couple of matches that they are in anyway fit for purpose for a Premier League team.

Lemina has moved to Galatasaray on loan for the season and the more I think about this, the more I think it suits him down to the ground. For one they are the best team in an average league so they’re going to be on top of most games so there’s not gonna be the famous Mario disappearing act when things get a little bit difficult. It will be interesting to see how he goes in a few big games they have out there against Fenerbache and Besiktas.

Galatasaray are all about their mental fans and the atmosphere they create and the authorities over there obviously have no problem with their pyromaniacs virtually burning down the stadium every match. In short, it all looks very flash which will suit Mario down to the ground. Oh Fart no shit. The Instagram posts about the atmosphere and how brilliant it is have started and now he’s likening himself to a Lion and all that shit, like a poundshop Zlatan .... but I would still back him to fuck it up. You have to remember, this is a guy who is never really strung together more than a few games of first-team football in his entire career and the trouble with mental fans who create a great atmosphere is that they can turn pretty bloody quickly.

Galatasaray Pyromaniacs Set Lemina on Fire When They Realise He's a Fucking Waster.

Saints other great recent mistakes, Guido Carrillo and Mohamed Elyounoussi have been packed off on loan to Leganes, still managed by Mauricio Pellegrino, who are the only team that would be remotely interested in the striker and to Celtic, who were absolutely desperate for any sort of player it would seem. Good luck to them both. It will be interesting to see if a lack of pace, crossing ability, finishing, workrate or skill is an impediment for doing well playing for Celtic in the Scottish league.

The upcoming Pompey game is of course big news and both clubs and the police in their wisdom have decided not to make it a bubble game which is good in that it gives people a choice but as the previous bubble game was the only game ever at Fratton Park between these two teams that didn’t have any trouble, I am very very surprised by this decision. If you are expecting it to be absolutely horrendous down there then it won’t be as bad as you are thinking it is going to be but likewise, if you don’t think there’s going to be any problem and it’s just gonna be like any other away game then you are in for a bit of a rude awakening. Set your expectations accordingly. The tickets have been allocated in the usual way in that you have to have a season ticket and you have to have in the first instance, 10 away games from the start of last season. It is the way it has always generally been done so why is anyone surprised by this and why is anyone complaining?

England came to town and played at St Mary‘s for the first time since 2002 with a home game against Kosovo. Kosovo were supposed to be the minnows of the group and so this was a game that was scheduled away from Wembley but as it turns out the rest of the group is abysmally shit and Kosovo are actually the closest team to England in the group.  The game itself was like watching and under 11‘s game with a goal every few minutes, ending up as it did 5-3 to England. England are a strange side right now. The forward line is as good as anybody’s is with Kane, Stirling and Sancho but the midfield three, the back four and the goalkeeper all have massive room for improvement.  It’s better than it used to be but you still have this ridiculous scenario where it matters more who you play for rather than how you play or what you’ve actually done. James Maddison being both behind Ross Barkley it was never really done anything since he was a promising youngster and Mason Mount who has played a whole four games to Chelsea, really sucks. The irony is that Leicester will probably finish above Chelsea this year.

The England game was an opportunity for a certain celebrity Portsmouth fan to get himself some column inches. As you are no doubt aware, John Westwood turned up in his Pompey gear and was not allowed in. He then made a big play of the fact that he was a victim. It’s amazing how many news outlets just bought this without questioning why you’d wear club colours to an England game especially when said England game was going to be played in a place where wearing those club colours would be inflammatory? Would you get any Saints fans turning up in Saints gear to a representative game at Fratton Park? I really don’t think so and would it make the news if they weren’t a ‘famous’ fan?  Of course it wouldn’t and everyone knows this so why do the media lap it up, especially that arch arsehole Neil Allen of the Portsmouth News. No one seem to want to mention the fact that he pissed all over the seats the last time he was in St Mary’s as well – that’s Westwood, not Neil Allen.

The stewards allegedly said that they couldn’t guarantee his safety, to which Westwood said that he could look after himself. Westwood doesn’t care if he gets a slap off someone because he would be so drunk that he wouldn’t feel it anyway and he certainly doesn’t care about any people in the vicinity of him who might get caught up in any incident. You can tell that from the fact that he doesn’t care about others when ringing his fucking bell at every game which I have on good authority, pisses off the vast majority of Portsmouth fans who are unfortunate enough to be sat anywhere near him. I’m told that one of the things the Pompey fans hope for when they go to away games is that the game starts and with 20 minutes gone when he finally turns up, they find that he is sat nowhere near them.

Today’s opponents are Sheffield United, a newly promoted club with a few Saints connections. Chris Wilder the manager was, back in the midst of time, a Saints apprentice and they also having their ranks, Billy Sharp and David McGoldrick. Billy Sharp was a January signing in our season in the Championship when we got promoted to the Premier League and he chipped in with about 10 goals to take some of the pressure off of Sir Rickie and get us to the Premier league. He was somewhat unfortunate to get bombed out by Nigel Adkins before he really had a chance to show that he could handle the step up. His return to his home town Blades has seen him turn into a hero there, once more firing a team in to the Premier League but he once again has found him self mainly on the bench this season. Unbelievably, one of the players keeping him out of the side is David McGoldrick who was always fucking shit. He did have the misfortune of being the striker used in the infamous Poortvliet and Wotte season. Similarly with Bradley Wright-Phillips, I remember never being remotely confident when he got through one-on-one against the goalkeeper and he took some of the most embarrassing penalty kicks I have ever seen that barely reached the goal before the goalkeeper just picked them up. He has had a career knocking around League One and the Championship but he has somehow found himself as a Premier League footballer. Hopefully none of that will bite me in the arse later on today. I think the point would be decent today but it is an opportunity for a second away win in a row.

Once again Ralph named a team that has us scratching our heads. If it’s the preferred 4-2-2-2 then Yoshida is playing at left back. He has come in to replace the suspended Danso and Djenepo is in the side instead of Danny Ings. There is still no place for Ryan Bertrand who is on the bench but as the game kicks off we line up with five at the back with Moussa as the left wingback and Cedric on the right. Brave selection.

It’s an even start to the game with both sides finding each other out. Sheffield United are a far cry from the Brian Deane and Vinny Jones tough bastard side they used to have but I have a few lads who are not shrinking violets. Basham is the first one to show as he takes three attempts before finally bringing Boufal down and then moaning about it to the referee. The free-kick is swung in by JWP and headed clear, back in by Romeu and headed clear badly to Adams on the edge of the box and he absolutely drills it first time skimming across the turf and crashing into the right-hand post and away with the goalkeeper nowhere. I think Che is destined not to score ever. Straight from that chance, the Blades break up the left hand side and a ball is played in between Yoshida and Vestergaard but no worries, it’s McGoldrick who is clean through. Go on Dave, show us how shit you are and sure enough, straight of the goalkeeper. Absolute wank.

The next chance gave Che Adams another chance to prove that he is probably never going to score as JWP put in one of this brilliant crosses the curls in from the right behind the centre backs and Adams rises to meet it superbly, pounds the header down and into the turf and Henderson flings himself to his right and somehow keeps out. For fuck‘s sake.

Che is Never Going to Score

Ralph has made a lot out of emphasising that the likes of Boufal and Djenepo need to do more defensive work so Boufal finds himself in the right back slot and carts someone over. The free-kick comes over and it’s behind the defence and in steams Sheffield United player at the back post but no worries, it’s McGoldrick and the ball ends up in the crowd. He was offside anyway but it’s still shit.

We have one final decent chance before half-time as Djenepo picks up the ball on the right hand side and gets his head up well and square is it to Boufal coming in from the left but he doesn’t get enough on the shot and dribbles it straight at Henderson who is really not going to be beaten by that. Ralph makes a tactical change just before half-time with Cedric going to left-wing back and JWP to the right because the left-hand channel containing the attacking Djenepo and the oil tanker that is Vestergaard is getting absolutely pillaged. Still, we get to half-time at 0-0.

The first incident that of the second half is another oil tanker moment from Vestergaard as Baldock megs him on the right and Jannik just trashes into him. Yellow card and a freekick. Norwood again bends it in behind our line of defenders and the ridiculously expensive McBurnie bundled in at the back post. It looked offside in the middle at first view and sure enough, VAR helped Lee Mason to get to the right decision.  No argument.

Boufal suddenly started looking unplayable up front and the Blades defence can’t get near him he weaves his way past three defenders out on the edge of the box before making a bit of a bollocks of the shot and put in it well over the bar. We are building a bit of pressure now and win a corner which is delivered and Vestergaard’s header is saved easily by Henderson. Sheffield United try to play out but get caught and it’s Boufal who ball back and get it to Djenepo. He goes past Norwood who has hold of his arm but Lee Mason, to his credit, allows it to go on and Moussa shrugs off Norwood then sends the two centre backs for hotdogs and rolls it past Henderson from the edge of the box. It’s a brilliant goal which is going to guarantee every pundit selling him to top six club by the end of the evening.

The Blades efforts to get back into the game are led by Fleck who does seem to be a very good player, even though he is related that Robert Fleck twat who used to play for Norwich. Fleck has a go from the edge of the box and it goes just wide. Substitution time and Danny Ings is on for Moussa Djenepo who leaves to heroes reception but it’s the defenders you have to step up to the plate now with Bednarek blocking another shot from Fleck and McGoldrick once again living up to my expectations by missing from close range with Gunn blocking again.

Billy Sharp is on as a late sub but then Billy Sharp is off again as he closes down Armstrong (on for the clearly knackered Boufal) and whacks him just below the knee. It’s not as bad as the Andone one at Brighton but it’s pretty ropey and even though Billy complained a lot as he left the pitch, he really can have no complaints that are valid. From then on it was just a case of making sure we concentrated. Shane Long came on for the ridiculously unlucky Che Adams and 93, 94, yassssss!

Another away win. I could get used to this. Bramall Lane will be a tough place to come from many teams this season so to get out of here with 3 points really is a decent result. We dug in when we had to, rode our luck at times a little bit but we looked a threat going forwards at all times. It’s a huge change from last season.

First off I’m going to mention a player who I am not a huge fan of. In the past I have taken issue mainly with his defending but also with his taste in very tight shirts but today, Cedric Soares was brilliant. He played really well on both the right and the left hand side and the fact that he could switch with minimum disruption to left back meant that Ralph had a tactical flexibility to push Moussa Djenepo further forward from where he scored the winning goal. Switching Cedric to the left also plugged the horrendous chasm on that side where the Vestergaard and Djenepo’s defensive effort was about as alarming as it could possibly be. The Central midfield pairing was also magnificent today with Romeu and Hojbjerg both reading the game very intelligently and winning the tackles that they had to win. The amount of times that Romeu in particular was just in the right place. He doesn’t always get it right but today he was absolutely perfect in that role. Che Adams is going to score goals but he of course needs the first one to hit the net and he couldn’t get much more unlucky today than with the shot that pinged off the post and the excellent save by Henderson to keep his header out. In both of those incidents, Adams did exactly the right thing so it’ll come and I am of course joking about him never scoring. 

The flair in the side is of course provided by Djenepo (when he’s not left back) and Sofiane Boufal. Both of them are at times going to frustrate when they allow themselves to get crowded out and they run into trouble but on the flipside they can pick up the ball in zero space and do something amazing to get themselves free, never better illustrated than with the goal. Boufal had a 15 minute spell in the second half where he was absolutely unplayable and it’s great to have him back and playing like this.  Everyone was unsure about his play without the ball – well today he won the ball back by pressing a midfielder and that led directly to the goal.  Good man.

Ralph justified the selection of Djenepo at left back by saying that we want to get on the front foot but also acknowledged that he had to change something when Sheffield United started to get in behind on that side. It wouldn’t have been so bad but as left-sided centre back, Vestergaard is so slow so if the left back gets caught up field, there are huge spaces which he just can’t fill… not quickly anyway. I can see a time in the not too distant future with Danso playing that left-sided channel and Vestergaard is moved into the centre.

Sheffield United try to play football in an entertaining way and commit players forward to try and score goals. Sometimes though it doesn’t matter how good your tactics are when you are trying to implement them with players that are simply not good enough. McBurnie is a Championship player at best and McGoldrick isn’t even that. It was such a relief that all the chances fell to McGoldrick and he lived up to expectation and missed the lot. How the hell Billy Sharp is not in the team ahead of McGoldrick is totally beyond me. Talking of Billy, Of course he won’t remember his first game against Southampton since he left particularly fondly. I thought the red card was a bit harsh on first viewing but when you see it again you can see why Lee Mason sent him off. To be fair, Chris Wilder said he had no in issue with it.

Billy In Better Times

There’s not much point in talking about league tables at this time of the season but we have shot up to 10th and our next game is Bournemouth at home and we should be aiming for three points in that one. Following that we have the game against the Skates. Some people are saying it’s two local derbies in a row. Fuck off is it.