Premier League Match 16 - Cardiff 1 Southampton 0

"We Win or we Learn" - Ralph Finds Out That We Learn a Lot

Ralph Hasenhüttl’s first game is a trip to Wales and the Cardiff City Stadium. There is a sense of optimism in the air but I would temper that by saying that he really has only had one training session with the team and he has the same shower of shit squad to deal with that Mark Hughes had, so I’m not expecting miracles. Personally, I would be quite happy if we got out of here with a draw today.

Media coverage of Hasenhüttl’s arrival has been mainly positive with many decent articles to be had on his style of play and his man management skills. On the other hand, you have those that just want to compare him to Liverpool’s manager and call him the Austrian Klopp or Klopp of the Alps or whatever. Just fuck off. It would be really nice if not everything had to be about Liverpool in some way.

I spent the morning of the game trying to second-guess what the team would be bearing in mind that Ralph Hasenhüttl has recent experience of the Bundesliga, the Champions League, the Europa league and he had also seen our pathetic effort again Spurs on Wednesday. I really cannot see Yoshida and Stephens being anywhere near the starting 11 so I guessed Vestergaard would start as Ralph would know him from his time with Borussia Mönchengladbach last season. I quickly gave up as once you get past Cedric, Vestergaard, Lemina, McCarthy and Hojbjerg, I had no real idea. In the event he really shook up it with Targett and Valery and at full backs alongside Vestergaard and Bednarek in defence. Oriel Romeu was back in midfield alongside Hojbjerg and Lemina with a front three of Armstrong, Redmond and fucking hell... Well I guess Ralph can’t have been too impressed with Gabbiadini’s efforts on Wednesday because Mr High Pressing high-intensity himself, Charlie Austin is in the side. I think we can safely say we’ve seen the last of Steve Davis in a Saints shirt because he was nowhere to be seen despite the bench containing three central defenders in the two that tanked on Wednesday and Wesley Hoedt.

Cardiff of course are managed by the recently turned 70, Neil Warnock or Colin Wanker as fans of anagrams know him. Fair play to the guy for making a decent fist of the season so far and having strung a few home wins together, Cardiff have given themselves a chance whereas after the first five games it look like they had none whatsoever and would be relegated by January.  They’re better than us anyway. Neil has been saying the right things in the build up, saying that Southampton have the best squad in the bottom half of the Premier league. On paper maybe we do, but on the pitch where it matters, he is sadly mistaken.

So, I’m expecting miracles, not.  We do almost get one with our first attack as Targett puts over a good ow ball from the left and Austin moves.. yes moves in front of his marker and flicks it goalwards but wide.  I know it’s not a goal but it’s a moral victory.  Cardiff’s first attack really should result in a goal with Valery making a mess of a high ball and Bednarek having to bale him out.  The relief was short lived however as it’s crossed back in and Arter really has to score but as befits a man who once put a penalty out of the ground at St.Mary’s he has no composure.  Interesting though that he was completely unmarked.

On 11 minutes Cardiff win a corner and when it comes in it’s utter carnage and the fat looking Paterson can’t get a decent opportunity on target.  Cardiff and Warnock will have noticed that we can’t deal with their favourite tactic of raining the ball down on the defenders and this time it’s Bednarek’s turn to fuck up when he tries to bring down a ball that comes down with snow on it, loses it to Paterson and a combination of Valery and McCarthy snuff out the danger.

The rest of the first half is more even.  Armstrong is guilty of taking too long to shoot when Vestergaard puts him away with an opportunity, seeing his shot blocked for a corner.  When the wind-assisted corner comes in from Targett, Austin takes a swing and it loops up, bounces down on top of the bar and out to Lemina who is 15 yards out and he displays no technique in slicing it over the bar.

The second half starts and Valery, on a booking and having a mare, is off and replaced by Stephens who I expect will display his versatility to the new boss and be dreadful in a second position.  With Ralph’s words no doubt ringin in their ears, we start the second half quite well and look the better side.  Enter the referee who is Mr Jon Moss – or Fat Unfit Jon Moss as he should be known.  Always 30 yards behind the play and if he isn’t he’s got so little oxygen left in his brain after running a bit, he can’t see further than 5 yards, yet alone have enough puff to blow his whistle.

After some play on the left, Redmond gives it to Armstrong, who cuts past Camaraso who dangles a leg out and over goes Armstrong.  Looks a cast iron one on first watch and on the second viewing it’s one that’s given more often than not.  Moss doesn’t get a second look of course, he just waves it away like the fat twat that he is. Armstrong is raging and his next contribution is to lose the ball in midfield and see it lumped forward.  No worries as Vestergaard is in control and knocks it back…. Fuck, he’s virtually trod on it… rugby tackle now… nope, falls over and Paterson is through and he scuffs it past McCarthy and into the net.  Fucking hell.

Gabbi and JWP are on for Austin and Armstrong but we’re done.  You just know we’re done.  Cardiff are the better side and having efforts on goal but we survive and now we’re into the 90^th minute and Redmond on the attack and into the penalty area.  He turns away and gets brought down, inside the box.  Moss is for once right there – this is more obvious than the Armstrong one – no penalty – useless fat twat.

Well fuck it. Another defeat against desperately poor opposition.  Sadly, it was too much to hope for the Ralph would be a miracle worker after five minutes on the Training Ground. I liked the look of the starting line-up but inexperienced players at full backs killed us and then there was the Gift Horse.

Yan Valery can be excused to a degree as it is only his second game and we didn’t really have anyone playing in front of him to give him any protection against the Cardiff wingers. Matt Targett however is 23 now and not a kid any more but he plays like a naïve trainee.  He has a fair amount of first team experience for ourselves and Fulham so he really needs to do better than he did today.  His defensive positioning is comical at times.  As if you didn’t know already, he is nowhere near the level of Ryan Bertrand.

Vestergaard was a strange one, competing well in the air and whilst he looked shaky, I didn’t actually think he was shockingly bad until the Gift Horse moment and Bednarek also had some shaky moment but was mainly leaving everybody wondering how we was ever left out.  Vestergaard’s game however, will only be remembered for the Gift Horse and the goal that we conceded which was absolutely horrific from the big but not so Great Dane.

Vestergaard - The Gift Horse

The midfield looked good in patches with Romeu doing what Romeu does, particularly well in the first half and Lemina and Hojbjerg doing some good and some bad with Lemina missing a very good chance in the first half and Hojbjerg being guilty of giving the ball away to cheaply and too often. Austin looked okay upfront for the first 10 minutes but then he really resorted to type. There were times when you could see that Redmond and Armstrong were buying into the new managers’ philosophy and aggressively closing down Cardiff in wide areas but they were getting no help from Austin who was just loafing about in the middle. Hasenhüttl must’ve been rolling his eyes into his head watching the lack of effort out of possession from his centre forward. I really thought that bearing in mind he actually tried on Wednesday, Austin might have put a shift in today but the 20 minutes of running on Wednesday probably fucked him for this game. I half expected him to put a real shift in and pull a hamstring after half an hour and be out for five months.

As it stands at the moment, I totally believe in Ralph’s philosophy and believe that it will be a success if we don’t get relegated this season and there is a major churn of players in January and in the summer. I just wonder if being 100% committed and working constantly for 95 minutes a game is going to be beyond a fair percentage of the players that we have at the moment.  He's got a week now to work with the players and I expect it'll be fairly different against Arsenal on Sunday.  We may well still lose but we're going to have to accept that if it happens and trust in the man to get it right in the not too distant future.

The bottom line is that today, we lost to one of our main relegation rivals, like we did against Fulham, because we made a catastrophic error in defence.  We can’t do anything about the defenders we have or the lack of striking options we have until January at the absolute earliest so I can see it being a really bumpy ride until then at least. Ralph wants to play with a back four but we haven’t got two central defenders who are good enough when paired together. He also wants to play with one main striker and with Ings injured, we haven’t got anyone to do that job either so it’s not going to be easy. If Ralph Hasenhüttl can get this lot playing and get us into mid-table then forget Klopp, forget Guardiola - he deserves the Manager of the Season award.