Premier League Match 15 - Tottenham 3 Southampton 1

Thank Christ It Was Only One Game

Tottenham away at Wembley Stadium really should be a highly anticipated game but it just seems like one that everyone wants to get out of the way.  It appears that Kelvin Davis is in charge for one game only and indeed it was announced on the morning o the game that Ralph Hasenhüttl starts work in the morning. I guess it will be interesting to see Kelvin’s take on things and what his team selection is, especially bearing in mind there we have actually been a lot better the last couple of games.

So – Ralph Hasenhüttl.  Everything about this guy, from his achievements to the recommendations from former players, from the media and from people who know German football, is very positive. Admittedly that was similar with Pellegrino but anyone with half a brain could look at his teams and realise that they didn’t score many goals and the high pressing game promised by Les Reed was pure bullshit.  It’s a brave move by the club to go for a long term solution rather than to press the Allardyce button but I guess in a way, we did that last year. Ralph has signed a two and a half year contract and I cannot wait to see what he does with the group of players that he is limited to.

Back to tonight and Kelvin Davis picked the team and I must admit, when I saw it, I kind of gave up on any vague notion of us getting a result. It seems like he’s picked his team based on loyalty to Southampton and being trustworthy.  Of course there’s a place for that but come on - there is no way on Earth that Steve Davis should be in the side.  The wide open spaces of Wembley against an impressive Spurs side…. Give me strength.  JWP doesn’t really deserve a recall either and Yan Valerie does not deserve to be left out. I can’t go over Steve Davis starting and Oriol Romeu being on the bench. Staggering.  Yannik Vestergaard has been dropped as we have reverted to a back four with the centre backs being Yoshida and Stephens. I reckon that if you picked any combination of our five average centre backs then Yoshida and Stephens would be the worst and it has proven to be the worst on many occasions. All of our central defenders are okay in a back three but when there is only two of them, they are just not good enough.

Still it’s only Spurs. They fucking hammered as last year and it was absolutely amazing the Pellegrino survived. Due to the Champions League campaign not going great, some Spurs fans are calling for Pochettino to be sacked which is one of the most ridiculous fucking things I’ve ever heard. The guy is an absolute genius to have Spurs in the top four, still with a chance of qualifying from the Champions League group whilst still playing at Wembley whilst having no money to bring in any new players last summer. They bring young English players through and give some first-team experience and though it pains me to say that, there is nothing to dislike about Spurs at the moment and trust me, I used to fucking hate them. They won’t win the league because Manchester City are going to win that but they will finish in the Champions League places, probably with Liverpool and Arsenal.

The crapness of Spurs not having their ground ready yet is illustrated by Wembley being about a third full despite Saints having sold out their allocation.  Spurs clearly aren’t bothered by it though and nearly take the lead after 4 minutes. Dier launches a crossfield ball from the left, Trippier, totally unhindered by the ball watching Targett, heads into the danger area and Son, totally unmarked, hits it first time onto the inside of the near post and away.  Lucky.  Will we learn?  No.

Rose chips a ball down the left to Moura and Cedric gets back from miles out of position to knock it off for a corner.  The corner is worked short and crossed in and there is England’s best striker, 3 yards out with no one anywhere near him to knock it into the net.  It’s embarrassingly bad.  Targett was marking him and let him go, Yoshida just stands there and watches as he knocks it in.  Remember last year when we allowed Kane to score a header from 3 inches out.  Yep, this is almost as bad.

The rest of the first half is a non-event really.  My theory is that Spurs know that they’ve won after 8 minutes.  Having said that, we deserved to equalise when Gabbi worked really hard to hold of Alderweireld and laid a ball back for Hojbjerg and he absolutely smashed it, curling in, right footed and it smacked off the inside of the post and came out.  On the reply, bloody Lloris has got a finger tip to it.  You’ve won the World Cup mate – take it easy for fuck sake.

Half time arrives with not much else happening aside from an effort from Son which is shovelled easily over the bar by McCarthy.  I can’t imagine that the watching Ralph Hasenhüttl made a great deal of that.

Pochettino has obviously suggested that Spurs get out of reverse gear and actually put the game to bed and they duly do, helped of course by ourselves of course.  Six minutes in and Eriksen collapses under the full force of Steven Davis breathing on him.  The incoming Eriksen free kick is pushed wide by Macca and we get another chance to demonstrate our marking at corners.  Over it comes from Tripper and it’s at Davo on the near post but he slices it across goal.  Moura’s unmarked of course and his initial shot is blocked by Stephens but it comes back to him.  Yoshida is the only one who reacts but his reaction is to turn his back and Moura’s second effort bounces in giving McCarthy no chance.  Pathetic.

I am tempted to say it was game over five minutes later but it was actually game over as soon as our team was announced.  Anyway, five minutes later and Matt Targett has the ball in the left back slot and instead of knocking it out when closed down, he smacked it against Moura, it rebounded to Kane and his early cross pas the ball watching Stephens was knocked in by the unmarked Son who had run off of Cedric.  I have no idea where Yoshida was.

At 3-0, Spurs totally switch off and allow us some chances.  JWP curls in a free kick and Yoshida manages his best clearance of the game off of the line at the wrong end.  Then Davo breaks through and instead of shooting, decides to pass it to JWP and give him a difficult chance on his left foot which was comfortably blocked.

What we need of course is Stella Austin coming on and he replaces Gabbi after 70 minutes.  We are making Lloris look like three goalkeepers as Hojbjerg’s shot is parried and JWP manages to hit the keeper from 5 yards out with the whole goal to aim at.  You can tell how little Spurs are putting into it when Redmond skins Trippier, get to the line and pulls it back and Austin turns and shoots low and bloody Lloris saves again.  Austin started his turn on 73 minutes and finished it on 78.

Forgotten man Mo Elyounoussi comes on for Armstrong and manages to hit the bar from 5 yards out after Yoshida flicked on a JWP corner and after it’s cleared and we win it back, Davo lifts it over the top and an offside looking Stella Austin runs through, spills his pint, orders another one and some peanuts, goes for a piss, buys some condoms from the bogs and after a kebab with extra chilli sauce, smashes it past Lloris to bring a smile to Ralp Hasenhüttl’s face.

To be honest, we didn’t play that badly but it was the same old story in that it took us a lot longer than it should have done to score a goal and the goals we gave away were so simple – not tracking a runner, slicing a ball across our own penalty area, turning your back on a shot – all straight out of the Under 9’s Playbook of Shite Defending. We didn’t make Spurs work remotely hard to score their goals or to win this game following the same pattern as 3-0 defeat to Chelsea, the 3-0 defeat to Liverpool and the 6-1 dicking at City. Yoshida and Stephens were predictably fucking dreadful and Steve Davis was predictably slow and out run in midfield. Even two years ago, when we played against the big boys, it was obvious that Davo didn’t have the legs or physicality to keep up anymore and two years on, guess what, he still hasn’t. I don’t care how good he is in training sessions or in small sided games or how good he was in the past. The Premier league is and unforgiving place and Wembley Stadium is an unforgiving place when you can’t get around the park any more.

Talking of not getting around the park any more – Charlie Austin.  Oh hang on – he ran more in 20 minutes in front of the new manager than he has done since he came back from the hamstring injury last season.  This is good but at the same time, annoying.  On the one hand, he must be thinking it was good to score in front of the new manager but on the other hand, he must have been dreading what Ralph Hasenhüttl was about to say in his press conference the following morning.

Ralph and Ralph - Let's Get This One Over With

It wasn’t a bad performance out there today from the likes of Hojbjerg, JWP and Redmond but we missed Lemina and the set up was just wrong.  As I said, let’s just get this one out of the way.

Ralph Hasenhüttl was in front of the media the next day and was seriously impressive.  No bullshit and a clear message.  To paraphrase – we do things my way.  If the players can’t cope they will fall by the wayside.  We have too many players and some will go and I will be looking at the youngsters.  Bring it on Ralph.