Premier League Match 12 - Southampton 1 Watford 1

"... And then They Called Time at the Bar Early FFS!"

Watford at home and another decent chance to get our first home win in the league since Margaret Thatcher was in power. The home league games get a little more difficult after this so it is one that we really need to make count.

With the international break coming up after today, you would have thought that master planner Ralph Krueger would’ve waited until after today’s game before dropping the Les Reed bombshell and he certainly could of waited until after Saturday before giving an interview to the local press which is what he did on Friday.  Needless to say he rattled on endlessly about nothing much, pausing for breath and to spit out a winning line on Ralph-Bingo. Apparently the Reed sacking was the decision of the Ownership Board which consists of Ralph, Chairman Gao and his daughter and Katarina Liebherr. It’s a relief to know that these four football geniuses  have their fingers on the pulse and very comforting to know that they are going to be choosing the future football direction of the club by appointing a new Overlord.  Ralph does this to me. Any positivity I might feel about an event at the club is immediately hoovered out of me as soon as Kruger starts with his bollockspeak.    

The most horrifying bit was that there is no timetable of bringing someone else in and there is no decision yet on what the new structure will look like.  Ralph is setting up a workshop or somesuch bollocks to sort that out and it will be decided in due course.  Apparently, Reed was nearly fired in the Summer so it’s not like Krueger and his fellow Ownership Board Members haven’t had time to at least consider this possibility.  Don’t panic Mr Mainwaring then as we continue to barely keep our heads above water.  The one thing he said which I totally agree with is that we won’t be spending in January unless we can sell. Gao has allowed Reed to invest any money received from player sales and Reed has wasted most of it, so the mistakes need to be rectified and that means getting the huge wages of the deadwood, off the books.

Today’s opponents Watford are managed by Javi Gracia who took over from Marco Silva when he did the great defector thing about two months into last season. Gracia has outlasted the usual life expectancy of a Watford manager and this season they sit comfortably in mid-table. They have a physical side with the likes of Deeney, Chalobah and Cheating Fucker Doucoure but they also can play a bit with the likes of Pereyra catching the eye this season.

I was thinking about Hughes and his coaching staff before the game and how it kind of mirrors the squad at his disposal. There is Hughes who was a striker, Mark Bowen who was a left back and Eddie Niedzwicki, Dave Watson and Kelvin Davis who were all goalkeepers. It’s a bit like having five centre backs and only one right back and it makes you wonder if Les Reed and Ross Wilson ever looked at the bigger picture when recruiting anyone.

The team shows changes with Gabbiadini, Armstrong and Yoshida all starting in place of Long, JWP and Hindenburg.  From the names it looks like it’s going to be 4-4-4-2 with Armstrong coming off the right wing but as we line-up for kickoff it looks like we’re playing 4-2-3-1 with Gabbi on the right, Redders on the left and Armstrong behind Ings.  In a welcome move, Michael Obafemi is on the benchin place of Shane Long.

The early chances are all Watford’s with Bertrand failing to cut out a through ball that he really should have got to and Deulofeu running in on goal and shooting from a  narrow angle for Macca to block.  Then, the amusingly named Isaac Success found space to shoot only for the lunging Hoedt to deflect it away for a corner. 

We grow into the game and had a couple of chances ourselves with our first decent move seeing Gabbi pick it up in the right hand channel and then over-optimistically curling a shot over the bar.  Next we win a corner and Berrtand’s kick it met full on by Hoedt but straight at Foster and he can only parry it for another corner.  This time it comes in again from Bertrand and its half cleared and Pereyra fails to clear, ducking about on the edge of the box, in goes Ings and nicks it and Gabbi turns and puts it past Foster,  Jesus Christ we’ve scored at home.

We look like we might get a second for a bit with Lemina putting a great right footed cross from the left and Yoshida climbing high and heading wastefully wide, then we look dreadful again with Hoedt and Yoshida trying to out-fuck up eachother which ends with Macca having to save a shot from Pereyra.

In amongst all the mistakes, football breaks out in superb fashion on the left with Armstrong at the heart of it and he arrives in the box to meet Bertrand’s cross but Foster keeps it out with his boot as he dives the wrong way.  Really good save.  On 40 minutes both managers decide to make their half time substitutions early as Will Hughes comes off for Watford, to be replaced by Deeney and a clearly unfit Ings hobbles off to be replaced by the clearly unfit Austin.  Not sure about this as we now lose all the pace that was causing Watford problems at the back.  Maybe throw Obafemi on ?!!?  Anyway, half time.

The second half starts with another of those left footed Gabbi efforts from far out on the right and this one is over Foster who just watches it as it passes and goes a couple of feet wide. Predictably, Deeney is playing off of Yoshida and taking any opportunity to knock him about and this is causing us problems.  Meanwhile, Chalobah plays a neat 1-2 with Success and gets into the box only for Bertrand to cover behind and clean him out.  Big horrible foul and surely a second yellow… one problem is that the arsehole with the whistle has missed it.  Oh, we got a break there.  How on earth is that not a foul?

To make up for his incompetence, Hooper delivers an evening-up coup de grace as Redmond brilliantly bursts in between two Watford players on the right and picks out Austin with his low cross and the Fat Beered-Up Kebab Munching Pub Player somehow mis-hits it and sends it bobbling over Foster for 2-0… or so we thought.  Celebrations have happened, time has stood still, civilizations and empires have risen and fallen… and then it gets disallowed for an imagined offside.  Fuck off.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  Two wrongs make a shit referee.

JWP is on for Armstrong who has been decent and so we approach the last 10 minutes when you know that with a one goal lead, Southampton will fuck it up… and we do.  A break on the right, panic stations in defence with none of Yoshida, Hoedt or JWP covering themselves in glory and it breaks to left back Holebas who hits it and Cedric is being a wanker, closing him down sort of with his back turned and it flicks off him and past Macca for 1-1.

In the last ten there’s only one side looking like winning it and it’s not us. Deeney wins a corner and in the ensuing melee, McCarthy seems to punch a ball onto his own crossbar.  Michael Obafemi gets a run for the last 4 minutes in place of Redders but too late to make an impact and we have an excusciating last 3 minutes with Deeney winning every header in our box but somehow and mercifully we survive.

Groundstaff at St.Mary's The Last Time We Won a Game There.

And yet another game at St Mary‘s ends without a home with. I don’t really know what to say anymore. We have a referee to talk about of course as he gave a performance which is designed to provoke a comment or two. Okay, let’s stay with him first.

Apparently it was Mr Hooper's fourth game in the Premier League and I’ve seen it said since the game that because he was inexperienced, they were only going to give him a low profile appointment. I’ve also seen it mentioned that they were hardly going to give him the Manchester Derby in only his fourth game. The reason they are not gonna give the Manchester Derby in its fourth game is nothing to do with sporting fairness and it’s nothing to do with looking after the referee.  It is purely to do with looking after the Premier League brand because the Manchester Derby is going to be beamed all over the world and watched by billions of people so they’re not going to put an incompetent half-wit in charge of that game because of any potential damage to the brand. The brand is of course the Premier League and whilst Southampton and Watford are part of the Premier League, they are very much part of the supporting cast, so games that don’t involve any of the top six don’t really matter to the FA top brass. This is why we get used as the testing ground.

Regardless of the reason for his appointment, Mr Hooper was fucking useless, consistently getting things wrong, consistently getting in the way and they always say that referees need to get the big decisions right, well he got both of them wrong. Watford should’ve had a penalty which in course meant we should’ve had a red card and Saints should’ve had a second goal.  I’d love to know how he arrived at the decision to disallow it.  Apparently they thought it took a second touch off of Yoshida who was in an offside position.  It clearly didn't.  Maybe if Austin had connected properly rather than hitting it off his own foot then it would have been given.

Talking of which, it was nice to see Charlie Austin and his interview on Match of the Day where he was basically having a bit of a rant about how we should have VAR to help the officials. I totally agree with everything he says and he has gone up a bit in my estimation but still not enough to make up for the fact that he still looks completely unfit. Whoever said the interview to the tune of Parklife deserves a medal as well.

Hughes deserves some credit today for shaking things up a bit. The change to the 4-2-3-1 formation in the main worked well, at least until Ings had to go off and Parklife came on.  Gabbiadini playing off of the right wing was a good move and accommodating Armstrong in the side is probably the way forward. The central defence look better with Yoshida playing instead of The Hindenburg but one of our old Achilles heels came back to bite us in the form of ‘No Competition for Right back’ Cedric. I have no idea what the fuck he was doing regarding trying to block the Holebas shot but let’s just say that it was absolutely pathetic wet lettuce defending at its worst.  Take a ball in the face, take a ball in the bollocks, take the ball with anything rather than making yourself as small as fucking possible you tight shirted boy band wanker. Absolutely embarrassing and another two points disappear over the horizon.

International Break and another chance to let all the shit settle down for another couple of weeks.