Premier League Match 1 - Newcastle 1 Southampton 0

 

How Very Surprising That You Get Red Card for This

It’s Premier League time once again and a trip to St James’ Park to play Newcastle. Couldn’t be much tougher really but you have to play everybody twice and you have to play all the tough games at some point so why not get it over with? There really shouldn’t be much expectation today unless you are the blindest of blind optimist.

Russell Martin will of course be thinking that we can get something out of today and I’m sure the game plan will be to keep it relatively tight, defend properly and then try and build from the back in the most terrifying manner possibly. What if we win though? What if?

There are three fixtures before the first international break, with this one, Nottingham Forest at home and then Brentford away. This on paper is the least winnable out of three, so even more so than the result, there is a need to put in a performance and prove we belong in this division and are going to be competitive.  We have to get out of here and not leave everybody dead flat about our possibilities of having a decent season. By having a decent season, I of course mean finishing 17^th or above.  Call that pessimistic if you like but it isn’t – it’s brutal realism and that’s what life is like for a newly promoted side.  All the predictions are in from the pundits, some who are knowledgeable and some who are not so much, and our average predicted placing is flat last. Roy Keane was one of the notable few, who thinks that we will surprise a few people. I’ve always liked Roy Keane.

Since the signing of Ben Brereton Diaz, the discontent among some elements of the fan base has grown because we are still short in a number of areas but in the day leading up to this game, a couple of them were addressed with the arrival of Cameron Archer from Aston Villa to bulk out the ranks of strikers and we had the arrival of  Lesley Ugochukwu from Chelsea on a season long loan. Archer had a disappointing season at Sheffield United last season managing just 4 goals in 32 games and on the face of it, reuniting the strike force from one of the worst Premier League teams in history maybe doesn’t seem like the best move, but we must hope that the rest of the team being miles better than the Sheffield United relegation team means he performs a lot better.

It was no surprise that someone signed one of the 47 players that Chelsea have got in their squad this season and their surge-recruitment is to our benefit with the signing of Ugochukwu, a 20-year-old, six-foot-three French central midfield player. He is very highly rated by Chelsea, hence there is absolutely no option to buy so they see this as a season for his development. We will see it as important cover should Flynn Downes be unavailable but also an option to make us more dominant in midfield alongside Downes.  I am hoping he is the physically dominant force that we once had with Victor Wanyama.  Apparently, he has a great engine for getting up and down the pitch which in my mind will make it easier for us to play a 4-3-3 formation because as I’ve said before, I don’t feel that Smallbone and Aribo have the legs to play together in that formation.

The two signings illustrate again that we have to be clever to compete in this league. It was loaded enough against promoted sides anyway but now it’s even more so, as your PSR spending limit is less if you have spent one season in the last three in the Championship. Saints have a further disadvantage in the in the season we got relegated, our loss was something like £85 million and we are carrying that around for three seasons with regards to PSR spending limits. That’s why this season it’s all about staying up by any method possible, be that other team is getting points deductions or clever moves in the transfer market.

Breathtaking Lack of Self-Awareness

Oddly enough, PSR is a bugbear of our opponents today.  Newcastle finished fourth and had a Champions League campaign two years ago but last year fell away a little bit and finished seventh. It’s hard to imagine, given who their owners are, that the Newcastle board is going to give Eddie Howe a free ride this season. There will be expectations, certainly to finish in the top six and maybe even the top four. They appear on paper to have a squad to do it but because the really big boys in the Super League Six want a closed shop, the PSR rules prevent them from spending as much money as they could afford to do.   They do have some fabulous players however with Bruno Guimaraes and Alexander Isak being the main two to worry about. It could also be a trial by fire for Yuki Sugawara, who will be up against Anthony Gordon, who will have a point to prove to the new interim England manager Lee Carsley.  

They also have one of our old boys in the line up in Tino Livramento.  I paid very little attention to the Premier League last season but did notice that Tino played a number of games at left back but he is widely expected to displace Kieran Trippier in Newcastle starting line up on the right this season.   One with Saints connections who won’t be in the Newcastle side is Ryan Fraser, who despite being on loan to us last season, and all parties wanting him to join for this campaign, has still not done so.  It would appear that Newcastle are being very petty over the final year of his contract and Wee Man has dug his heels in. Either that or Newcastle are shitting themselves about having to play against Wee Man and the transfer will go through sometime in the next two weeks.

Of our new signings, Ugochukwu is not available today, but Cameron Archer is, so all eyes on 1.45pm and the team announcement…. As expected to start the game but the bench has a few surprises… both Sam Amo and Tyler Dibling are on there, as is Charly Alcaraz.  There is no place for Tall Paul, possibly because the very special set of skills he has (being massive) would be negated in this game by Dan Burn, who has the same skillset.

We open the season in nervy fashion with Newcastle having a bit of possession around our penalty area but we keep them at arms length pretty well.  After about ten minutes we begin to geta  foothold and Brereton Diaz shows a bit of what he’s about by carrying the ball from the edge of our penalty area to the edge of theirs before losing out to the retreating Joelinton.  Aribo wins the ball back off of Guimaraes to halt the Newcastle break and against a huge backdrop of Newcastle fans screaming for a foul, we work the ball out to Sugawara on the right, who bursts past Lewis Hall who drags him back with a hand on the shoulder. More anger from the Newcastle fans as the most nailed on yellow card is brandished by Craig Pawson.

Smallbone chips in the freekick and it’s half cleared to the edge of the box before Smallbone finds Aribo it goes down the right and cuts it back to meet Smallbone’s run and he’s scuffs it goalwards and it’s going wide and Stephens at the back post knocks it into the net but it’s very clearly offside and no excuse to get excited at all.

We are now looking like the better side, breaking the Newcastle press with ease.  We allow them to get back though and when they do, we recycle the ball and keep it well for ten or so passes until Adam Armstrong finds himself with the Newcastle defenders backing off and the Newcastle born lad smashes in an effort from 30 yards which is always going over but it’s close enough to be encouraging.

Half an hour gone and Downes goes in for a tackle in the centre circle and the ref gives a free kick but the ball has gone towards the Newcastle goal and Fabian Schar has possession. Brereton Diaz decides to go and tackle him and then it all kicks off.  Schar gets up and shoves Brereton Diaz in the chest and then it’s eyeballs at close range and Schar drops the nut on him which is 100% going to get you a red card. For his part, Ben has gone into full shithouse mode and hit the deck spectacularly.  Over comes Craig Pawson and a big gang of Newcastle players and whilst everyone is pushing and shoving, he goes off to VAR.

“Hi Craig, Stockley Park here”
“Hi there boys, is Howard with you?”
“Yeah… he’s dressed up as the grim reaper as some kind of threat”
“OK, better do this properly then - we have an issue… Schar has nutted him hasn’t he?”
“Yes, Craig, clear as day…”
“But it’s Newcastle isn’t it?”
“Yes Craig…”
“What’s that noise I can hear on the line”
“Oh we’re fucking with you Craig - that’s just us playing a recording of a bonesaw cutting up a journalist”
“Very funny lads”
“Yeah, it’s a documentary, available on BBC Sounds in the North-East”
“Moving on lads – so what about the hairy Southampton player?”
“Top quality shithousing Craig… no rule against it”
“Fair enough”

Yellow card for Brereton Diaz, red card for Schar… off you fuck.

Brereton Diaz is now Public Enemy Number One in this part of the world of course, so the next time he gets the ball, he scampers down the left wing before a hard but fair tackle from Longstaff comes flying in.  Longstaff, being a bit of a thick twat himself, tries to goad BBD into sticking his head in again but Ben just laughs at this hilariously dumb attempt to make him react.

Saints are totally on top now and we really need to be putting pressure on whilst Newcastle adapt. They have taken off that twat Jacob Murphy and replaced him with a defender (Krafth).  Oh Jacob Murphy – Duje could have left the club an absolute legend if he’d smacked you one as he’d walked off.  Meanwhile, back to today and one passing move ends with KWP turning down the chance for a shot and instead trying a difficult pass which runs out of play. Next attack is out with Sugawara out on the right and this time he doesn’t even need to beat Lewis Hall as he digs out a fantastic cross and the perfect script is about to be written as Brereton Diaz gets in front of Livramento and he meets it and.....  Ben pulls out a 50p header and it flies into the crowd.  Shite.

So all under control and no need to panic and Newcastle are just launching balls into our half and we are dealing with them until we get a throw out on the left. KWP ends up giving the ball away before Gordon gives it back to us with an attempt to pass to Isak which goes to Stephens.  Stevo decides to go back to McCarthy who then produces an absolutely horrible bag of shit pass, which is kind of aimed back at Stephens but the trouble is, Alexander Isak is still in the way and guess what happens when you give the ball to one of the best forwards in the Premier League in your own penalty area? One touch, head up, pass into Joelinton, Goal. Oh Fuck off.

THB and Will Try To Bail McCarthy Out of his One-Off Mistake.  Fail.

Half time and Dan Burn is playing the hard man in the tunnel.  They really are dickheads – maybe we could have done with Tall Paul being there after all as a minder.  It doesn’t take a genius to work out what we’re going to get in the second half - 45 minutes against 10 men camped on the edge of their own box and a much time wasting as you could possibly imagine.  Sugawara is somewhat unlucky to be replaced with Sam Edozie as we’re going to go back four.  Edozie starts running at Livramento straight away to a cascade of abuse from the many Newcastle fans who can’t tell a white man with long hair and a beard from a black man with some braids and some tattoos.  It’s a good job they’re not sat up on the moon like our fans are.  Edozie slips a ball forward to Aribo who pulls it back but Adam Armstrong scuffs the shot which is cleared off the line by Hall and when Brereton Diaz follow up, it hits Livramento and goes wide. Fucks sake. Hall’s clearance actually hit’s the back of Pope’s head but instead of bouncing obligingly into the net, it comes out and Livramento knew absolutely fuck all about blocking the follow up.

Brereton Diaz has been moved inside to accommodate Edozie coming on and breaks behind Hall and a simple pass inside finds Adam Armstrong, whose touch bounces up invitingly for him to smash it but Pope takes off and pulls off a really good save.  Pope must be a bit annoyed with that because having tipped it away for a corner, he can’t waste two minutes taking a goal kick or flop to the ground holding the ball when he catches it.

Newcastle are defending deeper and deeper but no matter how many players Saints get into the box it’s not happening. Downes shoots and it’s blocked back out to Aribo who hits it and it deflects for a corner.  This set piece, like every single one before it, is headed away and dealt with easily.

Russell rolls the dice with the excellent Aribo and Brereton Diaz being replaced with Dibling and Cameron Archer comes on for his debut.  Armstrong has another effort from inside the penalty area which deflects wide for a corner which is easily cleared yet again. The final roll of the dice is a bit of a Hail Mary with KWP and Bednarek being replaced with Charly Alcaraz and Sam Amo.

92, 93 and it’s all very slow and methodical and we are not passing it quick enough and therefore not moving the defence about enough.  Dibling eventually finds Sam Amo, who gets his cross in straight away and Alcaraz rises well and heads goalwards only for Pope to fall on it and smile like a man who knows he’s going to get away with wasting the next three minutes.  Time’s nearly up and there’s one more cross into the box by Edozie, which is met by the leaping Archer but once again it’s straight down Pope’s throat.

And shit. I said before the game that we needed to show that we could compete at this level and that was almost more important than the result, so you could say that our performance when it was 11 v 11 and our ball retention in the second half show that we can compete. However, with an hour against 10 men, we really shouldn’t be coming away with a defeat and it’s disappointing from that point of view.

So, why did we lose? Obviously, the key moment was the goal that we gave away and though Russell Martin and the other players tried to pass it off as a “one off”, “one of those things” and “it could happen to anybody“, the fact is that everyone knew it was going to happen to Alex McCarthy.  In his last three appearances in friendlies in pre-season, McCarthy has passed the ball straight to the opposition about seven times and because it’s pre-season, the various strikers from Oxford, Lazio and Getafe have all missed. If you give the ball to Alexander Isak in your own penalty area, then Newcastle are going to score and one pass later, that’s what they did. The problem with trying to write this off as some sort of one-off is that it isn’t a one off and after those friendlies - it was the most predictable thing in the world.  When people show you who they are – believe them.  We need another goalkeeper - end of discussion and after watching our efforts at the top end of the pitch in the second half, we need some creativity.

When the red card happened on the half hour, with the score at 0-0, the absolute last thing you need is to give a goal away. If we go in 0-0 at half-time then Newcastle would still have had one eye on trying to win the game and it was therefore have been more open and we could maybe have created something. As it was, having been gifted the lead, all Newcastle did was drop deep and we didn’t have enough about us to cause them enough problems and of course, they took time out of the game and did that and defended really well.  It is a 100% clear cut red card and I’m not having anybody saying that Fabian Schar didn’t deserve to get sent off. Yes, there is no argument that Brereton Diaz made a meal out of it but even if he hadn’t, sticking the nut in on someone is probably going to get you a red card with VAR, even if the player doesn’t go down – even though of course, the on-pitch referee won’t give it unless someone hits the deck. Newcastle were already getting frustrated at that point because we weren’t letting them have it all their own way and then of course it got worse with the usual suspects like Bruno Guimaraes and Dan Burn being in the face of the referee and generally being fucking dicks.  The reaction from BBD in the incident is nothing but embarrassing and ultimately, it didn’t help once we gave the goal away.

The second half was attack versus defence and we did well to make it that sort of game, dealing with any Newcastle breaks pretty well. The problem was that we didn’t create that much against Newcastle’s low block two banks of four. Adam Armstrong brought a decent save out of Nick Pope but overall had a disappointing and slightly worrying return to top-flight football, smashing one narrowly over the bar in the first half but generally ghosting the second half despite staying on the pitch to the end.  Cameron Archer only got a few minutes and fired one chance over the bar and Ben Brereton Diaz started the game really positively but actually lost his way a bit after the red card and maybe the abuse he was getting from the Geordie crowd affected him a bit. As in the final friendly against Getafe, I do feel that our strikers are playing too wide and that they are closer to the fullbacks than they are to the central defenders so at times it looks like a 5-5-0 formation, which all adds to our difficulty in sticking the ball in the net.  Maybe it was just for this particular game because teams had success last year with playing that way against Newcastle, pinning back the full backs and getting bodies forward from midfield.

The Two Brereton Diaz Look-a-Likes Sum Up the Day

Despite winning, Newcastle fans are spitting fire over the BBD shithousing but they'll say nothing about the time-wasting that Craig Pawson allowed them to get away with in the second half in particular.  If you told me that the ball was in play for 15 minutes out of the 45 then I wouldn't be surprised.  It's usually one of the few things that the fans of the team that's behind, can influence the referee, but no chance of that with Newcastle still being allowed to put the away fans right up somewhere above the gods.  We gave them the opportunity to waste all that time with the shite goal we conceded so in effect, we only have ourselves to blame.  As an aside, there was a ruling made in 2017 that away fans had to be at pitch level in the Premier league but Newcastle successfully argued that they couldn't segregate away fans, because of cost of sorting the segregation, so they got given special dispensation which was initially only for a year.  Here we are six years later and they are still doing it - I think the Saudi's could afford it now and it wouldn't count towards their PSR limit as it's infrastructure.  It takes the piss that away fans are still shoved right up there.

Russell Martin emptied the bench in the second half to try and find a goal with us ending up with Tyler Dibling, Sam Amo, Adam Armstrong, Cameron Archer, Charlie Alcaraz and Sam Edozie all on the pitch at the same time. I think he knows we have a problem at the top end of the pitch still. The only substitution I have any issue with was removing Sugawara at half-time. Unless that was an injury then I don’t get it. If we want to go to four at the back then surely it’s better to have an attacking threat from both sides and KWP and Sugawara were both excellent in the first half.  Yuki’s cross that Brereton Diaz headed over was the best cross of the game. In short, I really feel that one of the central defenders should’ve come off.

Roll on Nottingham Forest at home next week. We have to go into that with the knowledge that whilst it was 11 against 11, we were the better side at St James’s Park. The last time we played Forest it was quite possibly the worst game I’ve ever seen in 50 years of watching Saints and that was decided by a horrendous defensive mistake by Lyanco and once we gifted Forest a goal, we had absolutely no clue how to get a goal ourselves. Then as now, things haven’t changed. Giving goals away at Premier League level is a hell of a lot more costly than it is at Championship level. Adapt or die.

Up the fucking Saints.