Premier League Match 15 - Southampton 1 Middlesbrough 0

Bouf!!! - Pick That Out!

After Thursday’s appalling shithouse of a display, we really need a visit from Middlesbrough who are officially the least entertaining side in the division having scored less than everyone and not conceded very many.  Nailed on 0-0 draw then given our troubles in the final third and the lack of Charlie Austin today, following his injury from the Thursday abortion.

Some teams come up to the Premier League and try and play football to survive, like Bournemouth did last year in the main.  Some come up and try and bore the shit out of it and that’s the approach of Aitor Karanka and his Middlesbrough team.  They were in the final few weeks of their promotion season when he walked out and was persuaded to return.  All very odd and I don’t really know what happened there.  They have a couple of ex-Saints in Gaston Ramirez and Calum Chambers.  Gaston’s 4 years at St Mary’s were ultimately not very rewarding for anyone but there was the odd moment.  I do wonder how he would have done under Claude in the Number 10 position but there was no way he was going to get the opportunity and it was for the best that he moved on.  My thoughts on Calum Chambers and his career trajectory are well known.  I saw one write up this week which was raving about him.  The point is that he’s had to go to a bottom end Premier League Club to get a game and Arsenal now have at a rough guess, 5 centre backs ahead of him in the queue - Koscielny, Gabriel, Mustafi, Mertesacker and Holding.  Would have been better off staying at Saints of course but there you go – enjoy that beautiful pure Middlesbrough air.

The media are still trying to stoke the fires of Fonte to United and Virgil to everyone.  The Virgil one was all about Liverpool and then others were linked, then Liverpool dropped out allegedly so it went quiet and miraculously, a release clause was invented to get the story moving again and every Big Club was linked and Celtic were mentioned as having a sell on clause (which is probably true).  The release clause thing is of course horse shit but linking all the Big Clubs (and Everton) and Celtic made for clickbait overload on both sides of the border.  We’ve also been linked with incoming strikers due to Charlie Austin’s injury.  Sunderland are really not going to let us have Jermain Defoe when he is their one chance of staying up… the stories are beyond funny.

So, we need a win – any sort of win.  An entertaining feel good win would be nice but anything will do.  Any thought that going out of the Europa League would mean a change in the rotation policy was shot down with the selection of the second choice full backs in McQueen and Martina.  JWP partnered Clasie in midfield and Rusty Rodriguez was given another chance up front ahead of Shane.  The Phantom of the Opera was back, as was Sofiane Boufal.  Gaston Ramirez was always injured when he was due to play for us so maybe it’s something about St.Mary’s he doesn’t like as he’s out again and so is Negredo, their main striker.  Jordan Rhodes is up front – he’s a player who scored loads in the Championship  no one took a punt on him until Boro did in January of last year nd he rewarded them with not a lot and even less this season.  I’m fully expecting Karanka to play for a 0-0.  Should be a great game.

The first half does not start like it’s going to be a good game as Clasie gives the ball away in the first action of note and a chip forward down our right finds a lack of Fonte and Martina and just Fischer for Boro.  The two Saints wanderers get back and Fischer does for both of them in a tight space before finding Rhodes but his snapshot is blocked at source by the sprawling Fraser.  Our first effort is from Clasie who plays a 1-2 with Rusty before shooting wide as some though he was going to replicate the Arsenal away goal.

It all gets a bit tetchy as Rusty caught Adam Clayton, the U2 bass player and we then didn’t put the ball out and built down the left and McQueen fired in a cross which Clasie decided to put out of play, or maybe it was actually supposed to be a shot but it was that bad.  Roughly 10 seconds after he’d crossed it, McQueen was taken out by the Boro right back  who got a very deserved booking.  U2’s next album will not be delayed by the injury.

Boro like to try and play out from the back and they’re not very good at it and cough it up to Clasie who feeds a good ball into Rusty who hits it first time and Valdez saves easily.  Shoots of recovery from Rusty though who is really putting a shift in.  More shite finishing though as Tadic (who has been dreadful) puts over his one decent cross which finds JWP all on his own but his header (if you can call it that) is dog shit and well wide.

Young JWP is not having a good few minutes as he tries to find a player in red and white which a pass back to the defenders and he succeeds in dissecting the defence superbly and Fischer is away.  Some greag scrambling defence by Virgil stops him getting a shot away, the Fonte blocks from Stuani before the same player smashes it over the bar in piss poor fashion.  The half is over and it’s been as piss poor as expected.

Redmond is on for Tadic at half time which is not welcomed by some (Tadic has been dreadful as said earlier) and the change means that Boufal is more infield rather than wide left.  He immediately looks better there and sees a shot blocked after a decent run and cross by Martina and a nod down from Redmond.  On 55 minutes we get a moment totally out of keeping with the rest of the game as the ball moves forward between Romeu, Clasie and JWP before moving on to Boufal who takes a touch and belts a left footed effort which starts straight before curling away from the rooted keeper and into the top left corner.  What a fucking goal that is. Brilliant.

What have Boro got?  Not a lot aside from a ridiculous optimistic shout for handball when the ball pings about and hits José square in the chest.  You should almost be booked for appealing for utter shite like that and luckily the ref wanted nothing to do with it. Davis is on for Boufal and he’s on the end of a superb curling Martina cross straight away and have you ever seen Davo score a header for Saints?  No, nor have I.

We look like the only team who might score again and on 81, a JWP corner is well met by J-Rod and U2’s bass player nods it off the line.   It’s not J-Rod’s day so far and it certainly isn’t as the game ticks down as Redmond burgles the hopeless right back and puts over a perfect cross which takes out he keeper altogether and J-Rod slides…. And connects… a yard out… and over… by miles.  Fucking hell.

Final whistle and we got there and we deserved it.  The better side as we had the one true moment of quality and the vast majority of the chances in the second half.  The less said about the turgid first half the better, as it was absolute gash.  There were some good performances from some players who don’t usually put in good performances with Clasie showing up well, along with J-Rod who more or less did everything but score.  I have to say that even Martina put over a couple of decent crosses.  No one was bad but it was never going to be a game full of exciting football.  The other positive was the performance of Boufal in the second half before he was subbed.  We are beginning to see just what we've got in him and today we saw that it would be better utilized in the middle of the pitch.  

Claude’s post match interview revealed that Charlie Austin would be out for 3-4 months which is a bit of a disaster.  Looking at it positively, the timing of it gives J-Rod and Shane an opportunity to prove that they have what it takes and if they don’t take their chance then we have options in January, namely getting someone else in or recalling Sam Gallagher or whatever.  

Next up we have the horrible trip to Stoke City where I guess the rotation will carry on so expect Cedric and Bertrand to come back in.  Whatever he picks, I hope he finds a way to play Boufal at No.10 and I suspect he will.

It wasn’t a day for pretty football but who cares and Wednesday at The Brittania won’t be either but if we manage to pull off a win there like we did last year, I won’t care how we do it and neither will Claude.