Premier League Match 11 - Southampton 2 Bournemouth 0

Graziano's Haka - Can you Imagine Him with Cauliflower Ears?

Bournemouth at home.  The question has been asked all over both the mainstream media and social media- is this a derby? Of course it totally depends on what your definition of a Derby is. Southampton and Bournemouth are obviously close geographically. If that's your only criteria then it's a derby. However, the two cities are not in the same county, the two cities have no historical rivalry based on anything outside of football.  So, in those regards it's like Portsmouth v Brighton – close geographically, different counties, no history etc.   For me it’s not a Derby.  When we were in the same division as Pompey, from the second the fixtures were released, the dates of the two games were etched in my mind and I was thinking about the games against them pretty much every day.  Bournemouth is just not like that and it never will be. Today is a home game for us against a team that is really struggling near the bottom of the league and we should get three points. If we don't get three points then I'll be pissed off but I won't be any more pissed off than if we dropped points at home to Sunderland or Aston Villa or anyone else down near the bottom. When we lose to Pompey it's the worst feeling in the world and the fact that we've dropped points or been knocked out of the cup or whatever it is, really doesn't matter as much as the fact that we've lost to 'them'.  Sure, if we lose today there’ll be some Bournemouth abuse coming in our direction but no more than we’d get from anyone else.  So, for me… not a Derby.  More Bournemouth fans seem to want to make this a proper Derby – maybe they will be in the same division as Poole Town in a few years.

Following the Villa win, there were no alarms over player fitness so we all kind of knew how the team was going to line up. The first choice back 4, Big Vic, Little Jordy and Steve Davis in midfield and the usual 3 up front.  With Shane and J-Rod still ont he injury list, there’s room on the bench for Gaston Ramirez but not for Cuco Martina, probably because he’s shit. 

Bournemouth’s notable players include Andrew Surman in midfield, a player who I never thought would be good enough to play in the Premier League but here he is and fair play to him.  Another thing pointing as this being a non-Derby was his pre-match interview where he said he’d always be a Saints fan at heart.  Can you imagine the reaction if a Pompey player said that?  Glenn Murray is their spearhead in the absence of the injured Callum Wilson and he’s got ‘Championship Standard’ written all over him.  The most interesting is Matt Ritchie who was a product of Pompey’s youth academy and was then released for not being good enough when Pompey were trying to cheat the squad restrictions they were under at the time for financial irregularities and basically being skint – their logic being, release the youngster so we can get in another expensive player but keep to the squad number restrictions.  Anyhow, Ritchie went off to Swindon and became a very good player, eventually earning a move to Bournemouth and promotion to the Premier League scoring about 20 goals from midfield and a call up to the full Scotland squad.  Well played Skates.

Away we go and both teams look fairly confident in the opening exchanges.  Murray not being able to run is the first thing I notice and Bournemouth are fairly deep which allows us to build up unhindered.  Davis is making some good runs into space in midfield and Fonte picks him out.  Onto Cédric and a first time ball to Graziano which he hits first time and sees it loop onto the roof of the net from a deflection.

Bournemouth can’t seem to get the ball clear and we camp in the final third for a bit before Cédric and Tadic combine to put Mané in but once again, a last ditch block takes it over the bar.  We are wasting some good crossing positions with Cédric hitting one of those shite ones that you hold up and apologise for cos no one’s near it and it’s landing on top of the keeper.  Federici, who has always been shite, just flaps it out into the middle of the penalty area.  If you were throwing a ball at a kid and trying to teach him how to play in goal, you’d expect them to catch that one.  We nearly make him pay as Bertrand slings a cross in, Graziano heads down expertly and Mané volleys it into the ground and watches it bounce just over the bar.

Our first mistake is Davis getting his feet in a mess and losing the ball in midfield and Bournemouth get Smith away down the right.  As he cust in he’s trashed by Big Vic which is a deserved yellow card and a free kick about 25 yards out and central.  We all know Ritchie can shoot but they make a complete bollocks of the routine and he doesn’t even get a shot away as he’s closed down.

We have a shout for a penalty as Clasie fires one in from the edge of the box and it hits Francis as he turns away from it.  Would have been very harsh if given but the next time Clasie picks the ball up, he threads a ball along the ground to Pellè, a first time layoff inside the full back and Bertrand fires over a cross and goalscoring midfielder Steve Davis arrives to crash it into the net on the volley.  Great goal.  He’s just like Frank Lampard with his goalscoring prowess, he really is.

Five minutes of possession later and it gets even better.  Mané picks it up in midfield and scoops a pass over the defence to Tadic out on the left.  He lines up Smith, buys a yard and swings over a superb cross and in comes Graziano, getting the jump on the ex-Skate pensioner Distin and burying the header into the top corner.  Fabulous goal again and the big man continues his rugby themed celebrations by going over to the bench and pulling out a kind of crap short version of the Haka with a member of our backroom team who is apparently a New Zealander.

Bournmeouth do create a little opening before half time as the ball is slipped behind Fnte to Murray but whilst he dithers, across comes Virgil to save the day with a superbly timed challenge to make sure we go in at half time, still leading 2-0.

With Fonte limping a bit at the end of the first half, it was no surprise to see him go off and Yoshida take his place.  Eddie Howe has decided that he’s seen enough of Murray trying to be a striker and replaced him with Josh King with Junior Stanislas replacing Marc Pugh who was once linked with us back in League 1 days.  Instantly, it’s much better from Bournemouth who look like they have a bit of pace and zip about them all of a sudden.

We’re suddenly not getting close to them at all and Gosling has a shot but he’s off balance and smashes it over the bar by miles.  Tadic is looking the only spark for us as he sends a speculative volley wide and is then on the end of a really crude lunge from behind from Francis which gets the Bournemouth carthorse a deserved yellow card.

Harry Arter is a Bournemouth player with a decent reputation who has been out injured but he’s back today and running at the defence with good effect until Virgil carts him over.  They don’t trust Ritchie with another free kick after his first half shambles but they might as well have as Stanislas curls it comfortably wide.  They do nearly catch us out with a short corner routine where Smith suddenly appears with the ball on the by line with all kinds of space to pick out a cross but there’s no quality on the smash across goal and it misses everybody and there’s no chance of getting a penalty after a rather desperate appeal by Arter after the ball hits Cédric full in the chest.

Despite them still not managing a shot on target, Ronald is clearly irritated and Clasie is off to be replaced by Romeu.  Five minutes later and the ticking time bomb of Big Vic does off as he cuts down little fat shit Tomlin and gets a deserved second yellow and off he goes, promting another change with JWP coming on for Tadic.  I am a bit nervous that if the resulting free kick hits the net then we could be struggling but it hits the wall and happy days.  They aren’t going to score, even with us only having 10 men.

Ex-Skate Ritchie takes aim and is blocked by Virgil before it eventually finds its way back to him and he fires over. It takes until 84 minutes for Bournemouth to have a shot on target as Tomlin again defies his body shape and cuts into the box but his shot at the near post is easily beaten out by Stekelenburg.  Two minutes later he has to pick up a daisy cutter from King which was on target even though it would have barely reached.  We manage one half break out of defence and Mané knocks the ball round Francis who crashes into him in clumsy fashion but despite losing the ball, Sadio stays on his feet which saved the Bournemouth carthorse from a second yellow card.  It doesn’t matter but referees should give a foul even if the fouled player doesn;lt hit the deck.

Thank Christ that's over. Not because we were ever going to lose or even draw but because the second half was an excruciatingly bad performance in terms of putting any passes together and actually threatening to have a shot. It must have been really boring to watch for any neutrals watching on Sky as Bournemouth passed it around and kept the ball but didn't actually manage their first shot on target until the 86th minute. It's debatable if they even have managed one shot if we'd kept 11 players on the pitch.  Whilst we're on that subject, Big Vic was bloody awful today and really should've been substituted before he got sent off.

So why were we so bad in the second half, having dominated the first? Was it that when Jose Fonte went off, we just lost our leadership? Bournemouth undoubtedly played better but we should have been good enough to be a threat on the break but we hardly did anything. Saints have this worrying tendency to not play for large portions of games. Manchester United at home, Leicester at home and is now Bournemouth at home have all seen that 'half hour and nothing' thing that we do where we just stand off and let the opposition dictate the game.

It’s great to read that José Fonte has been saying the same thing about us slacking off and not putting teams to the sword.  That’s the single best thing about Saints under Koeman – everyone seems to be honest and not hiding away from the truth.  It’d be nice if everyone in the Chapel End got a refund as the ball was never up that end of the pitch for the entire game.

All the positives came in the first half when we were excellent and it really looked like men against boys.  It took half an hour for us to score and it was as soon as we got some quality into our crosses.  Two great crosses from Bertrand and Tadic and two very good finishes from Davis and Pellè.  Before the goals, there was almost total control of the game as Bournemouth were made to look incredibly ordinary and were rattled to the extent that they were almost frightened to commit anyone forward which is what we were like tin the second half.  We never appeared rattled though, even when down to 10 men.

Cédric had a good game aside from his crosses frequently flying miles over everyone and Virgil van Dijk was again immense.  The tackle he executed when it looked like Murray had a tap-in in the first half was worth the entrance fee alone.  Graziano bossed the rather agricultural Bournemouth centre backs in the first half before finding it more difficult in the second due to a lack of support.  A word too for Sadio Mané who was very disciplined in his defensive work but did spend too much of the game away from the goal we should have been attacking.  I was also encouraged by the display of Jordy Clasie who used the ball well.  He needs to man up a bit in the tackle so opposition players don’t just run through him but he’s getting better each game and adapting well.

In the car on the way home I managed to catch a bit of the Radio Solent dissection of the game and the question was asked about would Bournemouth stay up.  The panel of Jimmy Case, flannelled around it but in my opinion they basically have to get through to January and not be cut adrift and buy a striker or else they’ve got no chance.  They went into the season with Callum Wilson and they gambled that he’d score goals in this league and not be another striker who scored loads in the Championship before dieing on his arse in the Premier League.  Wilson made a promising start but his injury leaves them screwed.  I bet we get to Christmas and Wilson will still be their top scorer with 4 goals or whatever.  Glen Murray will be lucky to score 5 all season, Ritchie will get 5 or 6 from midfield but other than that they’re in the shit.  You cannot survive without goals and their current squad doesn’t have enough.

Onwards we go and it’s Sunderland away next.  They were somewhat fortunate to win their last home game against Newcastle due to a dodgy red card but normal service was resumed when they got smashed 6-2 by Everton today.  Fat Sam is in charge up there now, bringing with him his Total Football philosophy so Ronald will no doubt expect to be confronted with slick passing moves and possession football.  It’s a ground we never seem to win at no matter how bad Sunderland are but as long as we play for the whole game next week, there is absolutely no reason why not.