Pochettino Getting Ready to Feel the Love
One of the games I always look forward to most is Fucking
Spurs (to give them their full title) at home.
It’s because I don’t like them very much but to be fair, it’s usually a
decent game as Spurs always seem to try at least to play the right way. It boils my piss that Spurs are considered a
big club because they’re really not in terms of size of ground and trophies won
in living memory but if silverware was handed out for delusions of grandeur
then they’d need another cabinet. They
will finish this season either 5th, 6th or 7th
– the same as they always do. The
managers’ door keeps revolving, millions are spunked up the wall on (usually)
average players and the end result is always the same.
They are still recovering at the moment from the aftermath
of selling Gareth Bale two years ago and spunking the money up the wall on
overpriced shite. I look forward to
watching £60m of that shite in Soldado and Lamela in some form this afternoon. Oh and they nicked our manager... again. They love nicking our manager and they like
to nick our decent players as well and recently they even nicked our Head of
Recruitment. It’s been going on for a
while, notably in the past with Glenn Hoddle and Dean Richards, back further with
Neil Ruddock and more recently with Gareth Bale which was more understandable
as we were in the Championship.
Pochettino might say differently but he wasn’t loyal to Southampton FC,
he was just loyal to Nicola Cortese and himself and he fucked off as soon as he
could, having used Saints to enhance his reputation. It cannot be denied though that he did very
well for us. It also cannot be denied
that a win today would be just a little bit special for our fans, partly
because they’re only one point ahead of us in the table and partly because
Pochettino is (as the song goes) a wanker.
It’s been a good week for the club that Pochettino left
behind as the Under-21’s won the U21 Premier League Cup with a 2-1 win in the
final at St.Mary’s after drawing the away leg 0-0. A lead was given to us when Ryan Seager
slammed home a loose ball from close range was cancelled out buy an own goal
courtesy of Matty Targett’s face. We had
to play extra time with 10 men once Harrison Reed got sent off but won it when
Sam Gallagher played a 1-2 out on the wing with Josh Sims before drilling a
left footed drive into the net from 25 yards.
A quite brilliant finish. I’m
sure the representatives from Fucking Spurs and Arsenal and a few others were
all wanking themselves into a frenzy.
On the negative side, Big Vic managed to get in the papers
with some quotes about Arsene Wenger wanting him. He protested that he’d basically been set up
and to be honest, the first time I read this it immediately triggered a memory
that I’d heard these quotes when he was still at Celtic. Anyway, we move on. Rather unusally, we’ve been linked with some
incoming players and here’s my take on the rumours.
Javier Chicharito Hernandez will not join Saints as long as
he has a hole in his arse. It’s a media
rumour because they want Nathaniel Clyne.
That’s It. Charlie Austin could happen assuming QPR go down. We’ve established ourselves now as a better
bet for an ambitious player and Austin has links down here having played for
Poole and Swindon. It would give us a
genuine alternative we don’t currently have as he can play up front on his
own. Daryl Janmaat is a right back and
assuming Clyney goes then this one might have legs as he’s played for Ronald
Koeman before, is a Dutch international and a good player. It’s an easy link for the papers to make
though, as is Tim Krul because he’s a) Dutch and b) a keeper. Would an international goalkeeper be happy
being 2nd choice once Fraser comes back? Can’t see it myself. Patrick Bamford is a young English player who
will therefore never get a game at Chelsea.
A striker, he has scores a load for Middlesbrough this season in the
Championship so it’s a possibility I guess.
The fact that like Austin, he’s English will also be an attraction. Matt Phillips is another at QPR and I hope
this isn’t true. Has the odd good moment
but I’m hoping that this is agent talk as I’ve never been that impressed. Usually he’s quick and powerful and no end
product.
Back to today and the team shows a change from last week in
that Tadic is dropped and in comes JWP.
There is no place on the bench for Sam Gallagher and Filip Djuricic adds
to his ever so productive loan spell by being injured again. The good news is that Toby Alderweireld has
recovered from his shoulder knock enough to take his place in midfield in place
of Big Vic. Spurs have golden boy Harry
Kane up front, supported by Eriksen, Chadli and Lamela. Hugo Lloris has been injured for a while but
he’s back in goal for them today. There
is no Danny Rose which is disappointing as we could have seen that Ryan
Bertrand is the best English left back by a mile.
Pochettino appears for the first time by the dugouts and the
Northam End appears to agree with my earlier assertion that he is in fact, a
wanker.
It’s a a relatively quiet start with Fucking Spurs having
the majority of the possession. Ryan Bertrand
is first to show for us, putting a curling cross in which passes inbetween
Looris and Pellè who was offside anyway.
Ryan fires over another superb low cross which again we have no one on
the end of.
The first major effort on goal came on 25 minutes as JWP
fired in a driven corner and Morgan diverted it goalwards only for Lloris to
get across and save relatively comfortably.
After than warning shot, Pellè flicked a ball on and Sadio Mané went on
a run and was stoped by Fazio. The ball
fell lose to Mason on the edge of the box who fell on his arse as he nudged it
back towards Davies who found himself trying to shield the ball back to Lloris
as a big beautiful Italian bloke closed him down. When he realise he was in the shit he tried
to block Graziano but went the wrong way and Pellè simply bundled past him and
toe poked it into the net for 1-0. A
great goal for us but a total defensive abortion for Fucking Spurs... and who
cares?
Fucking Spurs seem a bit rattled and Jan Vertonghen gets his
obligatory booking and Ben Davies soon follows him into the book for nothing
much. The game again reverts to a
midfield battle. Fucking Spurs are
passing it about and going nowhere and we look unthreatened as the four in
midfield dig in strongly. Another chance
comes and goes as Bertrand again does superbly with the cross to find Steve
Davis on the edge of the box but it’s Steve Davis so he sidefoots it at the
corner flag.
We are looking extremely comfortable as half time approaches
but then out of fucking nowhere, Fucking Spurs are level. Dier gets down the right and crosses, Kane
flicks on under pressure from Yoshida and the ball hits Lamela and even though
Superkelv gets a hand to it, it squeezes in the near post. It’s obvious from first view that Lamela knew
nothing about it so celebrating like it’s a really good goal in front of the
Saints fans marks him out as a complete cock.
Later replays showed that it flew in off his arm as well. It’s hard to tell if he did it deliberately
but he must have known it hit his arm, the wanker. Can’t really blame the officials for missing
it either as it happened so fast and it’s not obvious.
Anyway, half time and a appreciate round of applause goes
round the ground as we’ve played pretty well.
It’s a sickener to let in a soft goal right on half time though.
Still, no worries as we come out in the second half and
create a great chance following another Mané run. The ball ends up with Steve Davis and he
advances to the edge of the box and with the whole thing opening up, shanks it
wide. It’s exactly the sort of chance
that Frank Lampard for example, never misses and he certainly never fails to
work the goalkeeper. Aargh!
We carve out another great chance straight afterwards as
Mané causes havoc, feeds the ball into Pellè who backheels it perfectly into
the path of Steve Davis. His first touch
is excellent and opens up the space to shoot from about 10 yards. I’m having an odd feeling of déjà vu. As you
regular readers will know, I sit in the family centre surrounded by little
people whose parents don’t like you using bad language in front of them. I think I’ve only let 1 or 2 go this season
but when Davis, with three quarters of the goal to aim at from 10 yards, skied
it high and wide, I think I may have let another one go. It’s a horrible miss and you just can’t
afford to miss chances like that and expect to win matches in the Premier
League. Apparently, Fazio and Bentaleb
had a bit of handbags with each other at this point but I didn’t see it as I
still had my face in my hands.
Fucking Spurs are still having the majority of possession
but doing nothing with it, in the main because they can’t get anything to stick
up front as Kane is really not doing very much.
For our part we look dangerous when we get the ball especially through
Sadio Mané but he ruins a lot of his good work by flinging himself to the
ground when a defender gets near. I wish
referees would just get the book out. I
know it’s not always the case but it’s either a foul or he’s dived. We do come very close to taking the lead in
almost accidental fashion as Ryan Bertrand makes a superb run down the left and
sends in a cross which loops off a defender and is heading for the near top
corner until Lloris gets over and knocks it over the bar, in exactly the same
way as Superkelv didn’t at Stoke last week.
Fucking Spurs seem to be finding a lot of space down our
right with JWP not really helping out Clyney much so Ronald makes his first
change with JWP being replace by Shane Long who is playing deep, no doubt
detailed to get back and defend.
However, his first involvement is at the other end as he flots a superb
ball into the box and Graziano rises about 15 yards out and thumps a glorious
header past Lloris. I love goals like
this. For me, this is better than his
overhead against QPR or his long ranger against Stoke in the League Cup. A classic centre forwards goal. Who knew that if you get decent crosses from
good areas into a 6 foot 4 centre forward, that you might score some goals.
Again, Fucking Spurs have no real response and things are
looking comfortable and then again, out of nowhere, they score again. Dier has all the time in the world to play
the ball inbetween Bertrand and Yoshida and Chadli easily helod off Maya’s
challenge and rolled the ball across Superkelv and in at the far post. How easy was that? Bollocks. We’ve missed two sitters and finally scored a
very good goal whereas they’ve got near our goal once and scored. Economy of finishing you could say.
Straight from the kick off we’re on the attack again with
Mané putting pressure on Davies who slips and Mané falls over him. Half arsed shouts for a penalty change to
concern as the ex-Swansea man isn’t getting up.
Stretcher and oxygen and he eventually departs on a stretcher with his
arm in a sling. He’s not had a good day
has he. Florin Gardos’ international
team mate Vlad Chiriches is on – another Bale-money purchase who isn’t good
enough. Eljero Elia is on for Steve
Davis who goes to shake his hand and misses.
The substitution is a clear indication that Ronald is going for it.
There’s only one team trying to win it for the last 20
minutes and Mané wins a corner and with JWP and Davis off, someone has to take
it and Sadio does not look happy about the prospect of him being the man. Over comes Elia and off of a run up on one
step, hits a really well flighted corner with his right foot which is met by
Alderweireld but straight at Lloris.
As the clock ticks to 90 it’s obvious we have a problem as
Morgan Schneiderlin is struggling and is eventually subbed to make way for
Harrison Reed. We win corners which are
cleared but no clear chances and then in the 95th minute, Mané is
brought down by Fazio who gets the booking he’s been trying to get all game.
Elisa is over to take it and my Dad goes all experience and wisdom on me and
says “this is never going to happen”.
Over comes another good delivery and up goes José Fonte and puts the
header fractionally over the bar with the keeper nowhere. Should. Have. Scored”, says I though gritted
teeth. Full time.
Well shit. We really
should have won that. On the positive
side I guess we’ve broken the 5 game losing streak against Spurs but like in a
majority of those games, we haven’t got what we should have got. It pisses me off but there you go. It pisses me off that they scored with their
only two efforts on target and it pisses me off that Lamela knew nothing about
the first one and that he used his arm to score. The two shots, two goals thing is of course
in stark contrast to ourselves as aside from Graziano’s goals, all of the other
chances fell to players who don’t score often, most notably Steve Davis whose
bad shooting has now reached epidemic proportions. The second miss in particular was appalling
but he knows that and won’t need reminding.
He will be reminded though as Ronald Koeman mentioned the
chances in his post match interview, stating the rather obvious need to hit the
target. He stated that it was a good
game between two teams who were trying to play decent football and that’s
true. I have to begrudgingly give
Fucking Spurs some credit here. I am not
for a second telling Ronald how to do his job here but I’d have played Toby at
centre back and brought Reed into the midfield.
I don’t see that disrupting the defence is the best way to bolster the
midfield. Anyhow, Big Vic is back next
week but it looks like Morgan may well be out so it’ll be ‘as you were’ in
midfield.
As for Fucking Spurs – I was impressed with Bentaleb in
midfield who even had time to start a fight with his own team-mate but Harry
Kane did nothing of note really and was well martialled by Yoshida and
particularly by José Fonte. It’s come to
pass that we fucked up paying £12m for Gaston Ramirez but Fucking Spurs have
done the same, only it’s £30m for Erik Lamela.
Oddly, Lamela is one of the players who’s got an “I got chinned by Dani
Osvaldo” t-shirt. Anyway, like Ramirez,
Lamela has ability but more often than not he’s fucking useless. So he scored today but he knew fuck all about
it and it flew in off his arm.
Celebrating like that in front of the opposition fans when you’ve put it
in with your arm – don’t be such a wanker!
Fucking Spurs as a whole were neat and tidy but did very little with all
the possession they had, getting just the 2 shots on target. It pisses me off that this was enough to get
a point. I might have mentioned that
before…… Our fault.
The final laugh is at our deluded ex-manager who said that
he “felt the love” from the Fucking Spurs fans as they chanted his name and
this is the first time that’s happened apparently. We chanted it first mate…. they only chanted
it in response to “Pochettino… what a wanker” being bellowed out. Anyway Mauricio – you’d better get your
recruitment right in the summer or a start which sees Fucking Spurs being
mid-table after 6 games next season…… adios amigo! We chanted your name all the way through last
season and you fucked off as soon as you could.
The other ‘fucking’ team, Fucking Liverpool, drew away at West Brom 0-0, in a performance
which Smug Tosser Rodgers described as ‘outstanding’ whilst every other
commentator thought ‘shit’ was a better adjective to use, it all remained the
same in our little 5th-7th mini-league. So, we roll on to next week and Sunderland
away. The rule against Sunderland this
season is that you have to score first and then they’ll implode. Despite our recent shitty away defeats at
West Brom, Everton and Stoke, I’m quite confident that we’ll win this one even
though we don’t usually get a result here.
We didn’t usually get a result against them at home but this season we
did them 8-0. Yep, an early goal next
week is certainly on the wish list.
Whatever happened to Gus?
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