"I will give you a chance by picking a shit forward line"
A week of internationals has passed since Saints last game
and as is my want, I’ll focus on the Hodgson revolution and England. The original squad he chose for the England
game included Fraser Forster who subsequently got injured and Nathaniel
Clyne. Ryan Bertrand was not selected
and saw Baines, Gibbs and Shaw called up ahead of him. Following Fatty Shaw’s predictable withdrawal
with a pie related injury, Danny Rose was called up as Hodgson slapped Bertrand
in the face again. Before the first game
against the Lithuanian World Football powerhouses, Rose dropped out and Hodgson
said he wasn’t calling up a replacement – another slap. Following another crushingly average Baines
performance, I’d like to think that he finally saw sense and Ryan got the call to
replace Baines who was returning to his club, presumably to learn how to
defend.
Anyway, yours truly was present at Wembley Stadium to
witness the 4-0 win, the highlight of which was Harry Kane doing a Sir Rickie
and coming on the score with virtually his first touch. I have to say that he looks a very good
player with some very good movement and he could have scored more if England
actually delivered the ball into the box instead of pissing about with it. The other goals came from Rooney early on, Welbeck
who was our best player and Sterling who only played for 5 minutes despite
being on the pitch for 90. Clyney was no more than average at right back, not
helped by once again having Henderson playing in front of him who was
dogshit. The guy can’t pass water and
when he eventually went off and Ross Barkley came on, the Everton man only
seems to look left so clubmate Baines got a lot of the ball, usually to no
effect whatsoever. The original
selection was strange… actually it was shit; a midfield three of Henderson,
Carrick and Delph is really not what you need against very poor opposition at
home.
Onto Italy and a friendly and Graziano Pellè lined up
against us in an experimental Italian side.
Even with a different side, the Italians represented the best side
Hodgson’s England had played against since the World Cup fiasco which has been
completely glossed over by the media. A
few qualifying wins against utter dross does not justify Wayne Squirrel Head’s
assertion that teams are scared of England now.
Predictably, Hodgson picked a ballbag of a side with Phil fucking Jones
in midfield when he’s not even good enough in his correct position. Oddly enough and with total unpredictability,
the Henderson-Jones-Delph dream combo in midfield was utter, utter shit and we
were 1-0 down when Italian centre back Chiellini totally skinned Jones and
crossed for Graziano to flick a header past Joe Hart. It was odd moment as I was delighted for the
goalscorer and the effect it could have on his form for Saints. To cut a long story short, Hodgson got lucky
when Smalling got injured and Jones had to move back into defence and Carrick
came on. Clyney had a piss-poor game and
was off at half time though he’s obviously been reined in as he didn’t seem
prepared to attack.
We were better with Carrick on (which also says a lot) and
another sub Andros Townsend lashed in a decent equaliser and we ended up
drawing 1-1. Our subs definitely made a
difference but so did theirs as the Italians became a bit shambolic when 6 players
went off, including Graziano. The Ryan
Bertrand pisstake continued as Gibbs started the game and played 88 minutes,
including missing a near-sitter. On came
Ryan for 3 minutes and I’m really not sure whether that was a reward or a
snub. I guess it proved that Hodgson
knows he’s not French now.
Overall, I saw nothing in these two games to prove Hodgson
has a clue and that we will be any better in Euro 2016, than we were in World
Cup 2014. We have the nucleus of a good
young vibrant squad but I do not trust Hodgson not to completely waste it with
his chronic conservatism. Our best hope
seems to be that he goes senile and hands over to Gary Neville.
All the internationals came back to Staplewood with no
problems with the exception of Steven Davis who was forced off with a knock at
half time for Northern Ireland. Everton
have revived a bit in recent weeks but they’ve still had a very poor season as
Martinez sets about demolishing what Moyes built up over the years. We dicked them at St.Mary’s early on in the
season by basically outplaying them in midfield so I’m hoping that Gareth Barry
with the pace of a 50 year old is in midfield and we have some serious joy
there with Big Vic, Morgan and probably JWP.
The team new starts off with the expected Superkelv in goal,
the expected back 4 and as expected, JWP in midfield in place of Steve
Davis. The front 3 of Pellè, Long and
Elia wasn’t what I expected though. Not
a lot of creativity there. Everton have
a few problems of their own with Lukaku missing so it’s Kone up front with
Barkley playing off him.
You can tell Everton aren’t in that great a nick from the
kick off as we fly at them and they kind of do nothing to respond to us zipping
the ball about aside from all dropping deep.
The early pressure predictably just produces an offside rather than
anything useful like a corner or perish the thought, a shot on goal. Everton’s first run sees Forrest Gump Lennon
going diagonally from right to left before laying it off to Leon Osman who
curls a shot well side of Superkelv’s left hand post.
Ross Barkley is undoubtedly a very talented boy but he’s in
Big Vic’s yard and he’s got the ball that Big Vic wants. Big Vic gets what he wants and trashes
Barkley and sets Long away on the right.
He flies past Baines’ attempt at defending (standing there and letting
him go) and floats a lovely cross over to Pellè who reaches it on the stretch
and diverts it over Howard and it looks like it’s dropping in until Howard
arches back and claws it off the line.
It’s a brilliant save but regardless of that, it’s a very annoying one.
It’s all Saints for a bit and from the next attack, JWP
clips a lovely ball over Coleman with the outside of his right foot but it
comes to nothing as Bertrand feeds Elia whose cross into a decent area is
cleared. Everton then have a little
spell; they win one corner when Bertrand gets a decent tackle in on McCarthy
who is trying to get onto Kone’s knock down and win another as Barkley dribbles
across the top of the box and shoots with Jose deflecting it wide. The corner comes in from Baines, it hits a
couple of bodies and lands with Barry who stabs it across to where Jagielka is
awake while all around are sleeping and he prods it into the net. No chance for Superkelv but what a shit goal.
If Gareth Barry, possibly the worlds slowest
player is first to react then we’re doing something wrong.
Having conceded from the tiniest spell of pressure we are
back on the attack and Elia and Long work the ball to Pellè and as he advances
past Stones, the youngster cynically takes him out and the referee decides that
the most obvious blatant yellow card foul is not a yellow. This is 20 yards out and just right on centre
and up steps JWP for yet another attempts at his first goal in The Premier
League and it’s round the all and curling and the keeper is rooted to the spot but
it slides just wide as everyone in red and white holds their head.
JWP is proving a handful in the advanced midfield position
and he nearly gets in on the left as Big Vic again swarms over Barkley and
feeds Pellè who floats a lovely ball over Coleman again who gets back to run
JWP off it after his first touch. Not to
be denied though he’s at it again a minute later as a shanked Barry clearance
is returned by Bertrand and JWP hits it to Howard’s right but it swerves in the
air to his left but he throws out an arm as he’s going the wrong way and
somehow manages to shovel it over the bar.
Ridiculous save from a keeper who has been generally piss-poor this
season.
Everton attack as the half winds down with Kone getting in a
cross from the right which Clyney clears for a corner as Osman tries to connect
with it. The corner comes in and
Jagielka is up and unmarked on the 6 yard line but fortunately heads it miles
over the bar.
I have the feeling that this is going to be a frustrating
game but we do create half an opening as the second half begins with Toby
Alderweireld pinging a class ball over the top which meets Shane Long’s good diagonal
run and though the Irishman controls it well, Everton manage to smother the
danger. After fifteen minutes of
virtually nothing it’s time for the changes and predictably it’s Elia who is
off and not so predictably it’s JWP who is off with him as Tadic and Mané come
on.
Everton make a sub of their own with Steven Naismith, or
Steven Diving Little Fuck Naismith to give him his full name, on for Kone and
he’s soon doing what he does and trying a horrible dive under the slightest
brush of Bertrand’s shoulder. He’s a
wanker pure and simple and if referees did their job and actually booked him
every time then he’d have to fall back on his football ability and he doesn’t
have any. Back to the Scottish Premier
League you go you wanker.
Tadic is doing his best to get something going for us and
his corner is perfect for Long to head goalwards but he makes a mess of it
under pressure and it apologises wide.
Tadic then skins two Everton players on the right and gets to the line
before pulling it back to Pellè who tries a ridiculously optimistic first time
sidefooter which goes well wide.
Djuricic is on for Alderweireld in the official last throw of
the dice which of course leaves us open for the counter attack and Lennon scurries
forward only to be halted by a very well timed lunge from Fonte which perfectly
nicks the ball. It gives us an opportunity
to break ourselves but Tadic makes a total balls of an attempted pass to Djuricic
and gives Everton a goal kick. We have one
last chance as we win a corner which is flapped away by Howard, knocked back into
the mixer by Djuricic and Graziano is offside… and he missed anyway. Fuck.
Well that was annoying.
We were the better side by miles but we created very little up front
again and with Everton digging in and Tim Howard having his one good game a
year then we were always going to struggle.
The first goal was always going to be key in this game as there’s no
doubt in my mind that if we’d scored it then we’d have won 1-0 as this is the
poorest Everton side I think I’ve seen in at least 15 years. They had absolutely nothing going forward
with the absence of Lukaku and really were there for the taking. At least we can finally stop talking about
the top 4 now because a genuine top 4 side would have rolled Everton over 3-0
today. I guess it was an efficient win
by Everton – you have to score when you’re on top and they won three corners in
a row and managed to score from it whereas we had virtually the rest of the
match and created very very little.
For the first time I find myself questioning the selection
to start the game. Sadio Mané has been
our best attacker by far in 2015 but he only gets half an hour and the same for
Dusan Tadic who has been decent in the last few games. Everyone loves a trier but there was a lack
of quality from Shane Long today and Eljero Elia really may as well not have
been out there. I’m guessing the
selection was down to international action during the week with Long only
playing 10 minutes and Elia being in the Dutch squad. I’d question why Mané in particular didn’t
start as his international wasn’t in Africa somewhere but in Le Harve in
Northern France so jet lag is hardly an issue.
Elsewhere, Superkelv was ok and the defence in general did
well aside from the goal. JWP had a lot
to gain from today because there is not much between him and Steve Davis for
that third position in midfield. The man
just needs a goal and that free kick was a golden chance. Yes it was close but he has to score from
there – it’s getting embarrassing being a free kick expert and not having
scored a goal in 60-odd Premier League matches.
He also had a decent dig from outside the box which forced Howard into a
very good save and we can only hope that when one goal in, lots more will follow.
So, we lost at Goodison yet again and I guess we shouldn’t
be surprised as we always do. I guess
it’s a day to look at where we’re from.
We’re pissed off at losing 1-0 to Everton who are traditionally one of the
top 8 clubs in the country. Next up we
have Hull City at home who are looking pretty desperate at the moment, just
keeping their heads above water in the fight to stay in the Premier
League. We have Gaston Ramirez there on
loan at the moment and he’ll be able to continue making the same level of
contribution to them as he’s made so far because he won’t be able to play.
With 7 games to go we’re in mini-competition for 5th
place with Brendan Rodgers and his shower of Twats and Mauricio Pochettino and his
delusional wankers. Liverpool got
hammered by Arsenal and Spuras drew 0-0 with Burnley so there was less damage
then there could have been. Finishing 5th
or 6th would be automatic qualification for the Europa League which
would be an amazing achievement. It
would also achieve my personal seasons goal of finishing ahead of one of
bastrad Liverpool and fucking Spurs.
Come on!
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