Premier League Match 9 - Southampton 1 Stoke 0

"Can I have that one Boss?"

Mark Hughes and his band of merry thugs are in town as we take on Stoke City.  Last year they were changing from the norm and actually playing some football but this year it doesn’t appear to be the case. Not that I watch them much I have to admit. they had a bit of controversy last week and Hughes made a complete twat of himself trying to defend the indefensible when Victor Moses pulled one of the most blatant dives ever to win a penalty against Swansea and the referee bought it.  He could have got away with saying “it’s a soft one” or some other bland non-committal statement but instead he basically said it wasn’t a dive… and then defended Ryan Shawcross who gave away a penalty for shirt pulling, only it wasn’t shirt pulling, it was wrestling, followed by putting a bag on his head, gaffa taping his mouth and then throwing him in the boot of a car.

It the wake of 8-0, we have of course picked up many plaudits but it’s more been about how bad Sunderland were in the same way as it was all about Newcastle when we dicked them as well.  I don’t feel that we’re being fully embraced as members of the top table as yet and there’s a bit of “wait til they play the big boys” creeping into the articles I’m reading.  If we get to about March and we’re still in or around the top 4, I wonder what tone the articles will take.  A majority of fans from outside the big 5 would love it if Saints or anyone else gatecrashed the top 4.  It’s unlikely to happen of course but if it did, expect everyone to focus on the negative impact it will have on the club next season.

The main news from Saints this week has been that the dubious goals commission has rules that the Sadio Mané goal in the Sunderland game was an own goal.  Who the fuck are these people and do they have any clue about football whatsoever?  They were asked to look at the Pellè shot that resulted in Bridcutt’s amazing dancing feet but instead, they managed to change the 8^th goal in an 8-0 win.  Twats.  Maybe it’s make sure the betting markets are fair, so I feel sorry for anyone who had Mané to score the 8^th goal in an 8-0 win at 5 million to 1.  Still, I’m please that the Premier League Dubious Goals Panel have justified their existence.

As I said, there’s a rumour doing the rounds that Mark Hughes has changed the style of Stoke from the Tony Pulis days but their starting line up tells a slightly different story.  Every player who has any technical ability seems to be on the bench whereas the team is packed with athletes, big blokes and runners, there are defenders in midfield and of course, Crouch up front supported by Nzonzi who are 6 foot 7 each. Victor Moses is the only one with a bit of flair.  If they need another runner of limited ability then they have Sidwell on the bench who has somehow had a decent career.  The bench also contained most of the flair and pace in the form of Arnautovic, Assaidi, Diouf and Bojan, the ex-Barcelona kid.

After our iffy start against Sunderland, we came flying out today.  A ball up to Pellè was expertly controlled after he’d manoeuvred Shawcross out of the way, then he slid the ball to Davis who fed Mané.  Mané turned Bardsley inside out before sidefooting a shot at the far post.  Pellè got a touch as he flew in but couldn’t divert it the correct side of the post.  Mama-fucking Mia, he might have said.

Having won the goal kick bomb forward, Crouch fed Nzonzi who lumbered forward without anyone closing him down and clipped over a cross back towards Crouch who 50p-headed it wide and shite.  José might have got a slight touch on the cross but I prefer to believe it was a massive error of judgement by the giraffe, a bit like the error of judgement that he made with that prostitute.

After a crappy cross from Corky which went straight to Begovic, Nzonzi sent Moses away on the left and he burst between Tadic and Clyne before staying on his feet and being crowded out, tamely poking the ball through to Fraser.  No one actually challenged him in the end but he’s made a rod for his own back now.  Everyone saw him cheat last week so he has two options, stay up or go down when going down probably means he’ll not get a decision in his favour and he’ll probably get booked.

That’s the end of Stoke as an attacking force for a bit as Saints build up the left and Mané again lines up Bardsley, beats him on the outside and his pull back is lashed over the bar by Pellè from in front of the near post.  Tadic is next to have a go as he picks up the ball on the right touchline and dances outside and then inside Pieters before hammering at the near post and Begovic, the Skate Bastard, annoys the Northam End by getting down well to tip it just wide.

The resulting corner saw a move off the training ground which unlike most training ground moves, nearly worked instead of the usual lash at the gas holders.  Dusan’s corner was short to Mané who returned it first time. Dusan passed straight to Morgan on the run and his clipped effort flicked off the bar and over.  

Charlie Adam has predictably done nothing creative but always has the other side to his game which is to be a walking free kick giveaway machine.  He trashes Tadic in typical ‘nowhere near the ball fashion’ and we get a free kick after the ref plays an advantage which we screw up but no matter as he gives us the free kick is a display of excellent common sense refereeing.  40 yards out and Tadic flights it in, Wilson heads it out not very far with his face to Pellé whose left footed shot on the turn smacks the post and back out.  Whilst everyone is holding their head, Sadio Mané reacts and sidefoots it right footed into the top corner for a great finish that not even some twat in a suit at the Premier League can take away from him.  He celebrates with the players and with Koeman and now we’ll see what Stoke have got.

Half time comes and goes and away we go again and we’re immediately threatening again.  A build up down the left involving Bertrand, Mané and Tadic ends with Dusan floating a cross over and Graziano hanging in the air and heading one over Begovic but it smacks the bar and won’t come down for Steven Davis who would have missed anyway. On the hour mark both managers decide that it’s time to change things with Ronald Koeman deciding that it’s Big Vic time in place of Corky and Hughes removing Charlie Adam about 55 minutes later than when he should have done.  Diouf is on in his place.

Pellè must already be thinking it’s not going to be his day in front of goal and when Mané tees him up with a knock back, he doesn’t even look surprised when he lashes it a few feet over the bar.  Another great move down the right ends up with a Clyne cross being helped on by Pellè to Tadic who throws in a couple of obligatory turns which make the defenders looks stupid, before scuffing his shot wide.

Some of the Saints players are beginning to get a bit sloppy with the passing as it looks like the nerves are setting in but we sort it out enough to again break down the left this time and Bertrand’s cross is blocked out for a corner.  Tadic’ delivery is perfect for Pellè and though José Fonte puts him off, he rises superbly before thumping a header over the bar.  You have to score that big man.

A poor Fonte pass gits possession to Stoke and they break down their right and Bardsley swings a great ball over towards Diouf who goes for it with his right foot instead of his left and consequently misses it altogether.  It would be a travesty if they scored and in all honesty I can’t see it happening but whilst it’s only 1-0….

Koeman has had enough of the uncertainty and on comes Florin Gardos for Steve Davis with Alderweireld moving to midfield so we have Gardos and Fonte at the back, protected by Alderweireld, Big Vic and Morgan.  Get past that!!!  They can’t and we’ve won again.

Get in.  It wasn’t great and it wasn’t pretty but the job got done and we won and got 3 points again.  We should have won by more and 1-0 flattered Stoke in the end whereas 3-0 wouldn’t have.  Sunderland and Stoke at home last year got us 2 points and I was kind of expecting the same again this season but we’ve ended up with 6 and +9 on the goal difference and no goals conceded.  It doesn’t get much better than that.

With Manchester City falling to a surprise defeat at West Ham, we’ve moved up to 2^nd in the league.  Let that sink in for a minute.  2^nd. Every single one of the deserters is below us in the league table and it’s all quite mad.  Our next three league games are against Hull, Leicester and Villa so there’s scope for it to get even better.  It’s really not bad being a Saints fan at the moment.

Hughes spoke afterwards about Stoke giving us too much respect as we won 8-0 last week.  I’d say that’s true but that this started with him.  If he’d put Bojan, Diouf and Arnautovic in the starting line up then they’d have had some sort of attacking threat.  As a Welshman, I’m sure the phrase “may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb” is one he’s heard of.  It rings true when you’ve gone into a game with a negative gameplan and lost anyway.  The Stoke fans who came down would rather have seen them go for it and lose 3-2 than lose 1-0 without having a shot of note.  Man United beat opponents before the game kicked off for years and it certainly makes things easier if the opposition are shit scared of you.

For the first time in a while, I found myself thinking about our Blue neighbours down the road, mainly because of the Northam giving Begovic the ‘You Skate Bastaaaaaard’ when he took a goal kick.  If memory serves, he hardly played a game for Pompey and they had to pay out £1million when they didn’t sell him to Tottenham or something daft like that.  Begovic’s Pompey past was highlighted by the media of course when he scored against us last year which is probably why he got stick this year.  I didn’t hear one boo for Marc Wilson who played many more games for Pompey or for Peter Crouch, who of course confused matters by playing for us for a bit.

Though the second half was a bit nerve wracking, it was solely so because we only had a one goal lead.  Looking back from the position of having got 3 points, it was easy as Stoke had next to no threat at all.  They seemed caught between two stools, neither playing passing football or playing it long.  They had nothing in the final third and we saw the game out easily and it was a very satisfying win, as Ronald alluded to in his post match interview.  I thought he managed the game superbly with Big Vic and Florin Gardos coming on at exactly the right moments for the right players.  Maybe I’d have brought on Shane Long for Tadic who was not the same player after Pieters got fed up with chasing him around and kneed him in the back.

The win today was built on the defence in which all four players were outstanding from a defensive point of view.  I noticed that Toby Alderweireld tried to win the first header against Crouch and was comprehensively beaten as you would expect by a giraffe and from then on in he just got close and picked up the knockdowns.  Intelligent play from a quality player and I hope we have a watertight deal in place to sign him at the end of the season.  Dejan Who?  Thanks for the money Brendan.  Not so smug now are you, you tosser.

The front three worked well today against a very robust and organized Stoke defence.  Graziano was unlucky to hit the woodwork twice and Dusan led them a merry dance until they started kicking the shit out of him.  Sadio Mané was the star man though and I’m not saying this just because he scored – I’ll leave that to Garth Crooks, quite possibly the worst football pundit ever and how the fuck has he still got a job?  His work rate running back was phenomenal which is always a worry when you sign a winger from abroad.  Anyone missing Gaston?  No, I didn’t think so.

So, onto Wednesday night and we get to play Stoke again.  I think it will be quite a different game as Hughes will undoubtedly pick some flair players.  They would be mistaken to think we’ll be easier to play against at their ground though as their need to attack a bit more will play into our hands on the break.  Expect Big Vic, Matt Targett and Florin Gardos to feature and there may be a start for Shane Long as well.  We are taking the Capital One Cup seriously this season and In Koeman we Trust to get the balance right.

Bring it on.

We’re 2^nd in the Premier League.  Lap it up….