Suarez points to where Gerrard flicked it on
19/6/14
Group C – Colombia 2 Ivory Coast 1
Colombia looked the better side all the way though this and
took the lead in the second half as Rodriguez easily headed in a corner from
virtually in front of the keeper. Ivory
Coast again left Drogba on the bench and went 2-0 down when they tried to play
out of defence and got caught and Colombia chose the right option and Quintero
scored. Gervinho, with his forehead
hidden by a scarf, scoored a bloody good goal to make it 2-1 as he danced
through about 4 challenges as he cut in from the left and scored as the keeper
didn’t cover himself in glory. So, Colombia are virtually through but Ivory Coast should still make it as long as they
don’t get beaten by Greece .
Group D – England 1 Uruguay 2
It was time to do or die for England and Mr Dynamic picked
the same side that played against Italy other than putting Rooney and Sterling
in the best positions. I wanted to see
Barkley, Lallana and Shaw from the start to give it a bit more energy but no –
same old, same old with Danny Welbeck picked as an attacker, mainly for his
defensive ability, in a game we really have to win. Uruguay had Suarez starting and you have to
wonder how fit he is bearing in mind that 4 days ago they didn’t bring him on
when they were losing to Costa Rica.
Within 10 minutes you could tell that we were going to be shit. None of the front 6 looked at the races with
Sterling and Sturridge giving the ball away constantly. Rooney was at least trying and trying to
influence things but his touch was awful and he too was just giving it away. Henderson and Gerrard weren’t providing any
legs in the midfield at all and didn’t appear to be helping the attack or the
defence. Fucking rubbish. We got a free kick on the edge of the box in
absolute perfect position for a right footer as Godin picked up a booking for a
deliberate handball. Rooney was going to
take it and whilst I’m sure a lot of the nation was on the edge of their seats
expecting him to score, I was there with the feeling I used to get when Bradley
Wright-Phillips got through on goal. I
knew he’d fucking miss and sure enough, Rooney put it over the bar. There really is no excuse for not getting it
on target you useless squirrel headed granny shagging bastard. Same with the header that he hit the bar with from 2 feet out.
Cavani was working a lot harder than in Uruguay’s last game
as a result of partnering the clearly half-fit Suarez but he picked the ball up
after Gerrard had given it away and clipped a great ball over Jagielka in
exactly the same way that Italy had played one over Cahill and Suarez peeled
away and looped a header across Hart and into the net. Good goal, piss poor defending,
bollocks. New FIFA rules came into play
after that as it’s clearly not against the rules to run away from the ball and
forearm smash a player in the throat as Godin did to Sturridge. Give a free kick for a forearm smash but it’s
not worth a second yellow. We fucked up
the free kick and went in 1-0 down.
Surely the old fucker is going to get some energy on the
pitch at the start of the second half but fucking not a bit of it. Same XI the start the second half. I’m sure Gerrard came onto the pitch in a
fucking wheelchair with an oxygen mask on. I’m sure Hodgson has
put sedatives in the drinks at half time as we look even more half arsed after
the break. Cavani got through and sitefooted a sitter wide of the far post.
Finally, someone on the England bench, probably Gary
Neville, realises that we are going to achieve fuck all and makes a change with
Sterling being the name pulled out of the hat to come off. He’s been piss poor but equally, any of the
front 6 could have come off. Barkley is
on and what do you know a bit more energy and dynamism and we immediately look
a better team. Rooney had another golden
chance as he hammered in a shot from the edge of the box but having made the
space he shouldn’t have given Muslera a chance but he pulled off a decent save.
With 15 minutes to go, the pressure paid off as Sturridge
produced something for the first time and sent Johnson away who won a tackle
and it bounced across the goal and Rooney this time, could not possibly miss
and beat Muslera to make it 1-1. So, a
point isn’t bad at the end of the day and at least it gets us into the last
game with a bit of a chance. With 5
minutes to go, Muslera booms a ball forward, Gerrard takes his eye off it and
flicks it on straight to Suarez who takes it on and smashes it past Hart to
make it 2-1. What was Gerrard
doing? Where was the centre half
covering round? Fuck off. In exactly the
same way as against Germany 4 years ago, we’ve been done by a big boot forward
that we’ve allowed to bounce. I have no
words for how shite it is to concede a goal in this way at a World Cup but
we’ve done it, twice. The last 5 minutes
produce nothing of note. Hodgson gives
Rickie Lambert 4 minutes in place of Henderson who I had forgotten was
playing. What’s he supposed to do with 4
minutes Roy, you wanker?
And so it came to pass that we lost. 2 out of 2 and then
they start shitting on on TV about how we can still qualify if Italy win every game and then we beat Costa Rica and
blah blah fucking blah. No chance. For
starters, we won’t beat Costa Rica. If
we get to that game and we’re not out yet then Hodgson will pick the same team
again and wonder why we get the same inept tired bollocks and get beat again. Let’s face it, it was always going to be
difficult but a decent, brave manager would have realised that we needed legs
out there. I can’t believe I’m saying
this as he’s such an inept footballer but James Milner would have added more
than Gerrard out there today because at least he’d have got about the park.
It’s all very well saying we had a young squad – yes we did but not enough of
them were on the pitch. You also had
in-form players like Lallana who has had a great season, not being used and
players who have been shite like Welbeck picked to start. Then you have Rooney and our obsession with
him and Roy falling into the same trap of every other England manager and
picking him regardless and indulging him despite the fact he does nothing to
warrant it. It was actually one of his
better games today – and he was still
very average. Ross Barkley is going to
end up like le Tissier – managers would never pick le Tiss and Gazza in the
same side and Gazza was always going to be preferred. The same is going to happen with Barkley and
Rooney unless someone has the balls and you know that Roy Hodgson is not going
to have the balls. I’ll finish the
England post-mortem after our inevitable exit next Tuesday. I’m too pissed at the moment.
Group D – Japan 0 Greece 0
Boring. Couldn’t be
arsed to watch this after the England
fiasco. Like England, Two teams that
won’t be missed.
The Italians console eachother as only they know how.
20/6/14
Group D – Italy
0 Costa Rica
There is something in you subconscious as a football fan
that you will hope for any route possible for your team to get through to the
next round. However, relying as we are
on an Italian win in this game, I’m really hoping that we are put out of our
misery so I don’t have to listen to Chiles
quoting mathematical equations on the probability of England going through. Make no mistake, Italy were terrible but
Costa Rica were decent with lots of energy and invention in their play –
attributes that are in complete contrast with those of the England team. They worked out that Pirlo was the best
Italian player nd they didn’t give him time on the ball which is hardly a
tactical masterstroke but it is one that was beyond Roy Hodgson. Costa Rica
really should have had a penalty just before half time as Chiellini clattered Campbell with the ball in
a different post code but not given.
Unreal.... a minute later however they took the lead as Diaz put over a
superb cross on the run from the left and Bryan Ruiz, who spent last season
getting hounded out of Fulham, rose to head in off the underside of the
bar. Italy were marginally better int he
second half without ever looking like scoring and so Costa Rica won and went
though, Italy have a winner-take-all game vs Uruguay in which they need a
draw... and England are shit and out and Balotelli loses his bet and doesn't get to kiss the Queen - he gets to stick his tongue in Camilla Parker-Bowles instead.
Group E – Switzerland
Laughably, Switzerland are ranked 6 in the world due to
FIFA’s stupid system for working out rankings whereby you will rise by playing
ropey sides in friendlies or by being Swiss like Sepp Blatter. No payments have been accepted for this
assertion. Switzerland must have played a lot
of ropey sies in friendlies to be ranked above France who tore them apart in
the first half and were 3-0 up at half time.
They had this centre forward playing called Olivier Giroud who is no
relation to the lump who ponces about up front for Arsenal. Mind you he was helped by an enforced
substitution for the Swiss which saw Phillippe Senderos, possibly the worst
defender I’ve ever seen, come on to mark him.
Giroud just constantly bullied the hapless Senderos and rose unmarked to
thump in a header from a corner for 1-0.
Within a minute it was two as Matuidi ran through the inside left channel
without anyone going to challenge him and scored at Benaglio’s near post. France managed to miss a penalty
after that when Benzema’s poor effort was saved and Cabaye came up with a
contender for miss of the tournament by
hitting the bar from the rebound from 5 yards with the keeper nowhere. Not to be denied though, it was 3-0 just
before half time as France broke and Giroud put a perfect pass in for Valbuena
to score easily. 4-0 through Benzema and 5-0 when Sissoko took advantage of
more shambolic defending. The Swiss got
a couple back as Dzemaili tried a free kick from 40 yards which Benzema stepped
over in the wall to give his own keeper no chance and Xhaka scored easily as he
beat the offside trap. It has to be said
that France look very very
decent indeed but they’ll of course be playing better sides than Honduras and Switzerland .
Group E – Honduras
1 Ecuador
Safe to say, No Iran fans looked like this.
21/6/13
Group G - Germany
2 Ghana
The first half of this was pretty poor as Germany huffed and
puffed but Ghana played the better football and so we arrived a half time at
0-0 and maybe Germany aren’t the all conquering super power that they are made
out to be. One thing that will never be
in doubt though is that they are lucky bastards as 10 minutes in the second
half, Thomas Muller crossed and Gotze scored as he ran in, bollocksed up his
header but it hit his knee as it dropped off his face and flew into the
net. Ghana equalised straight away with
a proper header from Andre Ayew and we were looking at a very amusing scoreline
10 minutes later as Lahm gave the ball away to Muntari who slipped it through
for Gyan who smashed it past Neuer. Ze
Germans never just lie down and give up though and sent on Schweinsteiger and
Klose and the latter scored with his first tough from 6 inches out to draw
level with the proper Ronaldo in terms of World Cup Finals goals. It seemed inevitable that ze Germans would go
on and win but Ghana
held out and got the point they deserved and fair play. Anything that stalls ze Germans is good
news. Germany
will of course go through but Ghana
now have a shout if they can beat Portugal .
Group F - Argentina
1 Iran
Group F - Nigeria
Two of the more boring teams produced a game which was
decent in parts. Again there was a
shocker from a lino as Dzeko was put through, miles onside, only to slot it
home and it not be given. Again it
changed the game as Nigeria
soon scored as a pull back from the right was slotted in by Odemwingie who was
playing for his next transfer. Bosnian
midfielder Pjanic was on a one man mission to get Edin Dzeko a goal but he
continued to miss for the rest of the match, capping it all in the last few
minutes by scuffing a shot from 8 yards which hit the keepers foot and hit the
post. Nigeria
held on and Bosnia
are on their way home.
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