Dejan Lovren might not agree with the Ref
12/6/14
Group A – Brazil
3 Croatia
Day 1 and Brazil are up first against Croatia and away we go
after watching J-Lo shake her thing about (very nice too) and kids releasing
doves and all that stuff that makes it look like FIFA is a wonderful, pure,
selfless organization. There’s a brief
feel-good element to things and then you see Adrian Chiles for the first
time. Since they won their World Cup
winners medals in 1998 and 2006 respectively, Patrick Vieira and Fabio
Cannavaro must have been waiting for the moment when they got to share a TV
studio with a bumbling, clueless potato and Lee Dixon.
After two cracking national anthems and the players giving
it loads with veins in the next bulging, the actual football started and the
script went up in the air as Croatia
scored as Jelavic scuffed a shot into the path of Marcelo who finished with
aplomb straight into his own net. Goal
line technology was broadcast by ITV which said it had crossed the line which I
think everyone realised when it hit the back of the net and stayed there. Neymar then threw a silly arm-raised
challenge at Modric and caught him in the face.
It was a bit of a wet slap so I think yellow was just about right but if
you could pick one player in this tournament who will not get sent off in the
first half then it would be Neymar. He
could murder someone basically. Five
minutes later he picks a ball up in midfield and runs before scuffing a shot
into the corner, off the post to make it 1-1.
The ball passes through Lovren’s legs on its way in but it’s shocking
from Pleitikosa in goal who just seems to collapse. Half time and Brazil
have had the possession but Croatia
have looked dangerous on the break and the more incisive.
The second half starts with Brazil pressure and then it
changes round and Croatia are in the ascendency and testing Cesar in the Brazil
goal before the ghost of South Korea 2002 rears its ugly head as we can’t have
the host nation struggling. Fred backs
into Lovren and slides his feet forwards so he falls over and the ref gives a
penalty. It’s a joke, hometown, bent
decision. You just have to look at the
fact that he couldn’t wait to give it, gave it instantly and with great relish. Neymar danced and stuttered his way up to the
penalty and Pleitikosa went the right way, got 2 hands to it and still shoved
it in the net. Croatia had chances
before the end and had a goal disallowed (rightly in my view) but got done on
the break as Oscar poked in a shot from the edge of the box and Pleitikosa
completed his hat-trick by doing the collapsing goalkeeper thing again. Overall it was a decent game of decent
attacking football but the hometown bent refereeing leaves a cloud. I liked the cocaine-in-a-can thing for
marking out where the wall should be and matches involving Colombia and Mexico should be great for this
reason alone but I wasn’t impressed with the imaginary card waving from the
Brazilians, particularly when Gene Hackman Scolari joined in. Waving an imaginary card is basically dissent
as you’re disagreeing with the ref so you should book players for it.
That my Friends, is a header!
13/6/14
Group A – Mexico
1 Cameroon
What we needed after the farcical refereeing performance
yesterday was a controversy free game and that’s exactly what we didn’t get as Mexico were the better side against a pretty
dismal Cameroon
and had two goals disallowed in the first half for offside. The first one was level and no benefit of the
doubt was given to the attacker and the second one was ridiculous. A cross came in and the striker was miles
onside but it flicked off a Cameroon
defender which in the mind of the linesman, made him offside. Absolute horse shit. The linesman couldn’t tell the difference
between a Mexican in a green shirt and a big black bloke in a yellow
shirt. Players dream of scoring even one
goal in a World Cup but Giovanni dos Santos
had two legitimate goals disallowed because the lino had been on the cocaine in
a can before the game. Luckily for Mexico iit
wasn’t decisive as they scored the winner in the second half when Peralta
followed in and scored then the ball bounced back to him. Cameroon
have some good players but were pretty ordinary and Mexico ’s
game with Croatia will
decide who goes through behind Brazil .
Group B - Spain
1 Netherlands
Initial fears that we were going to get Friday the 13th:
Spain v Netherlands :
The Sequel, looked well founded as Nigel de Jong went piling into players but
without approaching neck level like he did 4 years ago. Spain
have a new striker in Diego Costa who they bought from Brazil . The guy was born in Brazil and played for Brazil in a couple of friendlies but now he’s
Spanish. OK, that’s a fucking stupid
rule especially when you consider that Brazil haven’t played any
competitive games for 4 years. Having
said that I’m not sure that the Confederations Cup counts. So Spain now have a striker and he won a
penalty when de Vrij went steaming in like a twat and Costa hurdled the
challenge and trod on de Vrij as he slid by and fell over. Penalty – really? Anyway, up stepped Xabi Alonso to score and
we all sat back waiting for a masterclass of possession. The Dutch however had failed to read the
script and equalised soon after as Daley Blind bombed over a huge cross from
the left and van Persie scored with a fantastic diving header which he lobbed
over Casillas. Fabulous goal and half
time.
The 2nd half was a procession but
not towards the Dutch goal. Spain went
pass, pass, pass, pass, pass and lost it, the Dutch went for the throat. Blind played another great ball for Robben
who danced around Ramos and Pique before smashing past Casillas and 3-1 then
arrived as Casillas flapped at a cross and de Vrij bundled it in. To be fair to the keeper, it was a foul on
him by van Persie but he was nowhere near the cross. Casillas then made sure that everyone knew
that he had gone to shit and controlled a back pass straight to van Persie and the only
thing that was going to make him miss was shock. Needless to say, he didn’t miss and 4-1
became 5-1 as Robben got in a foot race with Ramos from half way and Casillas
made it easy for him by flying out like a complete arse. It could have been 6-1 but to be fair,
Casillas made a superb double save from Wynaldum and then from Robben but
bloody hell, Spain
suddenly got old. All that was left was
for the hapless Torres to come on as a sub and dawdle over a tap in, allowing
Blind to tackle him practically on the goal line. The Spanish were very average but the Dutch
had their moment like England
did when we smashed Germany
by the same score. He question remains
if the Dutch will build on it or under achieve like we did.
Group B – Chile
3 Australia
"I can play shit in any of the forward positions"
14/6/14
Group C – Colombia
3 Greece
There was no way on God’s green earth that I was going to
make a special effort to watch a game involving Greece unless I had to. Their World Cup is going to be, turn up, play
three games, have about 2 shots in 3 games, lose and go home in time for
tea. It took them all of 5 minutes to
fall behind to the decent looking Colombians when Amero wandered up from the
back and scuffed in a shot which was deflected past the keeper. The rest of the first half was fairly even
and the Greeks had a penalty shout at the start of the second as Samaras weaved
into the box before having a dive instead of carrying on. Serves you right you wanker. 2-0 through Gutierrez from a flick on from a
corner and then Gekas hit the bar from 4 yards out when the preferred option
would surely have been to nod into the gaping empty net. He used to play for a dodgy Southern based
Engish club in blue if I remember correctly.
Rodriguez sidefooted home for 3-0 and the game was all over, Greece had been
more attacking than I expected but they’re shit, basically. Colombia looked like a side who
will reach the knockout stages and whoever plays them will fancy their chances. They do however have mad goal celebrations.
Group D – Uruguay
1 Costa Rica
I was expecting a procession towards the Costa Rica goal for this game even with Uruguay being
without Luis Suarez and so it proved for the first half. A rugby tackle in the box brought a penalty
to Uruguay
which Cavani converted. I dunno about
you but I think Cavani is severely overrated but his goal was the difference at
half time. Ten minutes after half time
and the beer kicked in and I went to the loo and when I’d got back, Costa Rica were
2-1 up. Joel Campbell smashed in the
first as a free kick broke to him inside the penalty area and then Duarte rose above
everyone at the back stick and headed and headed across Muslera and in the
other side of the goal. Uruguay ’s
defending was carnage despite Godin and Lugano performing the same wrestling
moves that had won them a penalty at the other end. Uruguay had half an hour to find a
goal and produced nothing with Cavani anonymous and 3 substitutions tellingly
leaving Suarez on the bench and none of the incoming players providing any
spark. A Costa Rican sub fastened onto a
through ball from the excellent Campbell
and slid it first time under Muslera who came rushing out like an idiot. Man of the Match Joel Campbell is one of the
players that Arsenal have been stockpiling who hasn’t played a first team game
for them and has just been out on loan everywhere. Well that wasn't in the script for this group
- Cat released, pigeons everywhere.
Group D – Italy
2 England
News came through whilst the Uruguay game was happening that
Raheem Sterling was going to start and Adam Lallana had been dropped. This on its own was a bit concerning as it
meant that Welbeck was still in the side but then the whispers started that
Sterling was in the 10 role and Rooney had been shunted left into a role where
we have about 5 players who are more effective.
This ‘leak’ was confirmed before kick off so I assume we can chalk this one down to
Lallana being the easiest to drop. England started well and Sterling had the whole country on it’s feet
when he fired in a shot from 30 yards which sped past the keeper and hit the
side netting. For all the world it
looked like a goal and I’m sure I wasn’t alone in being off my chair, shouting
and generally making a tit of myself.
Italy were immediately tearing us a new one down the left where Darmiann
and Candreva were up against Baines as Rooney totally failed to give him any
cover. They opened the scoring from a corner as we switched off, Pirlo stepped
over the corner and Marchisio took a touch before lashing it through the crowd
and into the net with Rooney failing to get anything on it as it whistled past
him. Back came England straight away
though and a good break and ball by Sterling allowed Rooney to curl a
delightful cross to Sturridge who buried it on the half volley to make it
1-1. We had a good go at going 2-1 down
before half time as Hart went walkabout and then kind of half got back in his
goal. The Italian chipped him easily and
Jagielka got back on the line to head over.
It was interesting that they didn’t show the goal line technology graphic
when they’d previously been showing it when the ball hit the net and stayed
there. I guess that they couldn’t stand
the thought of Phil Neville commentating on it in his monotone drawl.
Acknowledgement that the Rooney experiment hasn’t worked
came when Hodgson switched Rooney and Welbeck over but it was still bad and
within 10 minutes Italy were back in front as Baines was exposed again 2v1 and
he then compounded it by not marking either player. A cross from the right and Balotelli got in
behind Cahill to give Hart no chance with a header. Liability Johnson had followed his man into
the centre forward position so either through lack of communication or just bad
marking we were 2-1 down. We had at
least 4 players blowing out of their arses by the hour mark but Hodgson took
off Welbeck who wasn’t one of them and brought on Barkley who immediately
looked lively. Henderson was next to be removed and Wilshere
come on which made me thing that Hodgson was just doing it by numbers. He knew Barkley should have started so he was
first sub, Wilshere was in the team before injury so he’s on next and I
predicted that Lallana would be on next as he was unlucky to be dropped. Sure enough, when Sturridge copped a dead
leg, Lallana came on when it really should have been Lambert. We had the one glorious chance to equalize
and it fell to Rooney who cut inside a defender and with the whole goal to aim
at on his right foot, he shat it wide of the near post in abysmal Sunday League
fashion. Rooney finally got to play up
front when Sturridge went off, and predictably did nothing. Wilshere’s contribution involved running
headlong into three players and wondering why he lost the ball and didn’t get a
free kick.
The second half was poor and Hodgson was mainly to blame. Rooney should have come off on the hour mark,
closely followed by Gerrard who looked really old on that performance. Contrast with Pirlo who is a year older and
was outstanding for Italy
as we didn’t get near him. Welbeck was
having a decent game until he was subbed to indulge Rooney some more. Aside from the cross for the goal, Rooney was
woeful both with and without the ball and does not deserve to start the next
match. He will be indulged though like
he always is despite doing absolutely nothing to justify it. Sturridge is better up front, Sterling , Barkley and Lallana are better in the hole, Sterling , Chamberlain and
Lallana are better in the wing positions.
He simply does not deserve to start.... but he will. Also, he’d be a very good impact sub to bring
on with something to prove. Hodgson has
to sort himself out and pick his best team.
If you want a comparison then think 1966 and Alf Ramsey. Everyone played with wingers at the time but
Alf decided not to as we’d be a better team without them. Jimmy Greaves was our best striker but Alf
decided that we were a better team with a Geoff Hurst – Roger Hunt partnership
up front. How did that one work out in the end?
My marks out of 10 are: Hart 6, Johnson 6, Baines 5,
Jagielka 7, Cahill 6, Gerrard 5, Henderson 6,
Welbeck 6, Sterling
7, Rooney 5, Sturridge 7
It has to be said though that we played pretty well and
probably deserved a draw which we would have got against a team a little less
streetwise than the Italians. It annoys
me that we allowed Pirlo to run the game in the same way as we did two years
ago but going forward we were more inventive than of late. We need to go the whole hog though and leave
out the players who drag us back.
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