World Cup 2014 Part 6 - Samaras Doesn't Dive For Once and Messi Walks on Water

Unbelievably, this isn't a dive.

24/6/14 (Continued)

Group C – Greece 2 Ivory Coast 1

Ivory Coast needed a draw and Greece had to win so it all got interesting when Tiote dawdled about in midfield and Greece nicked the ball and ran though and Samaris scored easily.  Spurred on by actually scoring a goal, Greece nearly scored again as a long ranger from Karagounis hit the bar.  It was all Ivory Coast in the second half and they equalized with 15 minutes to as Gervinho and his forehead set up Bony who couldn’t miss and didn’t. With Ivory Coast one minute from the second round, Samaras takes a tumble in the box under the challenge of Sio.  He’s a cheating diving bastard at the bets of times so I’m sceptical but for once it’s not a dive as the defender has caught his foot as he pulled it back to shoot.  Samaras himself takes the penalty and though Barry goes the right way, it’s over him and in and there’s barely time to kick off.  A national stereotype maybe but I guess there are some serious plates being smashed all over Greece.  It’s had to get away from the impression that they are complete shite though.  The Ivorians really should have finished second – they have far more ability in their ranks than Greece but they haven’t the discipline and seem to cough up ridiculous goals in every game.

Group C – Japan 1 Colombia 4

Colombia emerged from this match looking like one of the favourites to win the whole thing but make no mistake, Japan weren’t very good.  Needing a win to have any chance of going through, they shot themselves in the foot when having shepherded the striker away from goal, Konno dived in and hacked him down.  Penalty, Cuadrado, 1-0.  Japan are ok coming forward though and went close a couple of times before right on half time, Honda cut in from the right and crossed for Okazaki to athletically head past the keeper.  Game on…. But not for long as James Rodriguez (that’s “James” pronounced “Ham-mez”) put Jackson Martinez through to finish with ease.  The same combination put the game to bed in the 80^th minutes with Rodriguez again putting a superb ball through and Martinez turning a defender inside out before scoring with aplomb.  Just tot take the piss in the last minute Rodriguez danced through, turned Saints’ Maya Yoshida inside out and then chipped over the keeper to make it 4-1.  It has to be said that Colombia look bloody good and their game against a Suarez-less Uruguay should see them into the last 8.

You shouldn't put the little bloke on the end

25/6/14

Group F – Bosnia-Herzigovina 3 Iran 1

Iran actually had a shout of going through in the group but it looked to me like they never really believed it.  Bosnia looked to more dangerous from the outset and after having one shot tipped over the bar, Edin Dzeko gave them the lead, arrowing one intot he bottom corbner from 25 yards.  He’s an odd player, part genius, part donkey.  Iran were stung into life and hit the bar but in the second half it was back to Bosnian control and Dzeko slid Pjanic through to roll it under the keeper for 2-0.  With 10 minutes to go Iran got one back as following a bout of pinball from a corner, the man with Reza on his back tapped in following a low cross.  It woke the Bosnians up though and in the last minute they gave the scoreline a more realistic look when Vrsajevic got put away in the same way as Pjanic earlier but on the other side – same result though.  Bosnia are a bit unlucky as the shit decision they got when Dzeko’s perfectly good goal against Nigeria has cost them. They certainly looked good enough to go through from this group and another team, like Iran who play with a real pride in their shirt in exactly the same way that England don’t.

Group F – Nigeria 2 Argentina 3

Let’s face it, Messi is a genius.  He put Argentina ahead when di Maria’s shot came back off the post and could have bounced to anyone but it bounced to Messi about 15 yards out and his rising drive nearly ripped the net off.  For all his attacking genius though, Argentina are ropey as you like in defence and allowed Nigeria to score straight away as Musa picked up the ball on the left, cut inside and smashed a fabulous shot across Romero and intot he far corner.  The rest of the first half was about di Maria shooting from anywhere and Enyeama just about keeping him out but the keeper was rooted on 45 as messi’s 30 yard free kick was clipped over the wall and beautifully into the top corner.  Their lead lasted only a minute longer than last time (though there was half time in the middle) as Nigeria came straight out and played Musa through and again he was absolutely dead-eye to equalize.  The winnign goal owed more than a little bit to good forture as Lavezzi’s corner was flicked on, hot Rojo on the knee and bounced past Enyeama.  Di maria carried on his one man mission to score but couldn’t manage it and Nigeria knew by this time that they wre going through regardless.  I would be amazed if the Argies won the World cup with their defence.  Nigeria will give it a go against France but I can only see them having the one more game.

 Group E – Ecuador 0 France 0

An mainly tedious game between Ecuador who had to win but they weren’t good enough and France who didn’t need to win and didn’t look that bothered.  Squad rotation by the Franch saw Morgan Schneiderlin make a full debut and France were tidy in possession without really letting Ecuador have a sniff.  One Enner Valencia header from a Montero cross was all that Lloris had to deal with and that was easy enough.  The second half wasn’t much better, the main talking point being Antonio Valencia getting sent off for a two footer on Digne.  Phil Neville on commentary managed to watch the incident and say it wasn’t a red about 10 times without mentioning once that he had both feet off the ground and it was dangerous.   These United lads certainly stick together.  Anyway, Ecuador are out now so they can discuss it at their leisure.

Group E – Honduras 0 Switzerland 3

Honduras are a team that won’t be missed but they had one last chance to boost the amount of players in Brazil’s hospitals when they played Switzerland.  The Swiss are nothing remarkable either but they have an outstanding player in Shaquiri who took just 6 minutes to open the scoring, collecting a throw and cutting across the top of the box before lashing a 25 yarder into the far corner.  Brilliant goal.  It was 2-0 on the half hour as the Honduran defence went walkabout and Drmic put Shaquiri though again against the keeper and he was never going to miss.  Honduras had one kicked off the line and it should have been a penalty and a red card against Djourou but it wasn;t given and you knew what was coming next as Drmic got free on the left again, beat his man and laid it on a plate for Shaquiri’s hat-trick.  So the Swiss go through where they’re likely to play Argentina.  If they can defend properly (not pick Senderos) then they may have a squeak but I can’t see it somehow.

World Cup 2014 Part 5 - Fred in Movement Shocker and Suarez Has Another Nibble

Fabio's World Cup Record is not improving

22/6/14

With England gone I have gone into a bit of a malaise about the World Cup.  I’ve never ereally been the sort to watch 90 minutes on TV of  match where I’m not supporting wither team and the clusterf**k of commentators they have on BBC and ITV in particular are enough to make anyone switch off.  So here’s a catch up of the post-England elimination.

Group H – Belgium 1 Russia 0

In recent tournaments, Russia have always started well and looked like a very skilful attacking side and then blown it.  They brought in Fabio Capello to manage them and now they are boring (pragmatic is the buzzword) and will blow it anyway.  A draw with South Korea was followed by a quite tedious game against Belgium.  There was one chance in the first half when Kokorin headed wide from 5 yards.  It’s the sort of chance that a 10 year old would score if he shut his eyes and just let the ball hit his face.  The highly fancied (not by me) Belgians woke up in the 85^th minute as Mirallas hit a post and they scored in the 88^th minute as Origi, who intriguingly, doesn’t play in England, was on hand to put away a pull back from Hazard.  Capello’s charges can still go through if they beat Algeria but I wouldn’t bet on it.

Group H - South Korea 2 Algeria 4

A really good attacking game which was made all the more entertaining but he fact that South Korea can’t defend for shit.  The first goal was straight out of the England manual as a massive welly forward was missed by everyone and Slimani held of a couple of half-arsed challenges to dink it over the keeper.  The keeper Fah Keung-Crahp was certainly at fault with the second as he came for a corner but before it got to him, Halliche got u and powered it into the net.  2-0 became 3-0 when another long ball found Slimani who easily brought it down and fed Djabou to wrap up the game.  A ridiculous goal got the Koreans back into it when another hoof forward was controlled by Son Heung-Min between his shoulder blades but it worked for him as he turned and smashed it through the keeper.  They had a chance to make it 3-2 but it soon went the other way as Algeria tiptoed through the defence and a nice passing move ended with Brahimi slotting home.  There was still 20 minutes to go when Lukk Ki-Git scored off his knee after another long ball caused carnage but Korea achieved distinction by being the first team I’ve seen so far who are probably worse than England.  As long as they avoid defeat against Russia, then Algeria will be going through.

Group G – USA 2 Portugal 2

Portugal were so bad in their first game that they had to be better here and it took all of 5 minutes to take the lead against the USA as a cross from the left found its way through so abysmal defending by Geoff Cameron for Nani to score as the keeper Howard, sat on his arse.  He made amends after a fashion right on half time when after making a right hash of a Nani shot and allowing it to come back off the post, he changed direction superbly to palm the rebound away.  The second half saw Portugal and Ronaldo do nothing much and the US nearly equalised when a Bradley shot was cleared off the line with the keeper nowhere.  They did eventually tie the soccerball scores in the 19^th minute of the second period when Jermaine Jones picked up a cleared corner and easily cut inside his marker but fairly lashed it into the far corner from 20 yards for 1-1.  With 10 to go the Yanks took the lead as Portugal defended abysmally as Dempsey managed to turn a cross into the net with his stomach.  It’s really strange watching a game where you want both teams to lose but I was looking forward to the tears when Ronaldo got knocked out but that pleasure will have to wait a few days as with 90 minutes up, Ronaldo put in a wonderful cross from the right and Varela dived in to power a header past Tourette Tim Fucking Shit Bollocks Howard to make it 2-2 and leave the Americans in pole position to qualify behind ze Germans.

Fred celebrates moving 5 yards

23/6/14

Group B – Netherlands 2 Chile 0

Away we go with the group deciders and both Netherlands and Chile had one eye on the next round as they were both already through.  It’s nice to get your job done with a game to spare – just ask England.  Both teams rested a few players but it was still a decent enough game.  Chile had first half chances from set pieces and Arjen Robben was at it again for the Dutch, causing mayhem whenever he ran with the ball.  Both he and Depuy tested Bravo with long range efforts before they finally took the lead as a free kick was swung in by Robber and substitute Fer scored with virtually his first touch as he powered in a header.  Chile tried to chase the game and had a half shout for a penalty but committing men forwards is suicide against the Dutch as Robben got away down the left and got his head up to pick up Depuy who steamed in and got the touch for 2-0.  

Group B – Spain 3 Australia 0

Usually, a dead rubber is a dead rubber for one team but this match had the distinction of being dead for both participants.  I’m taking the piss but I wish I’d been smart enough to have some money on that at the start of the tournament.  Spain had a Villa-Torres partnership up front and looked dangerous every time they went forward with Iniesta in brilliant form in central midfield in what will surely be his post-World Cup position.  They took the lead as Villa backheeled a Juanfran cross past Ryan.  Juanfran had been released by a slide-rule Iniesta pass and he was at it again as they went 2-0 up in the second half as he put Torres clean through and even he couldn’t miss.  Mata made it 3-0 after Fabregas picked him out and he took all the time he needed to control it and pass it through the keepers legs.  Australia were pretty decent to be fair until they ran out of steam and though they’ve finished bottom with zero points, they are showing signs of getting better which is annoying.  Spain are out of course but have enough players who will still be around in 2016 to be a serious threat for the next Euro’s.  You have been warned.

Group A – Brazil 4 Cameroon 1

On paper this looks like it should be a slaughter and it’s all going according to plan as Neymar opens the scoring and everyone is happy.  Cameroon however summoned up a bit of the spirit of 1990 and equalised when Matip was on hand to stab in a cross from the left wing.  The calculators briefly come out as there is a slight chance that Brazil might go out which would be hilarious but Neymar is having none of it and turns a player inside out as he runs at the penalty area before smashing it low past a wrong-footed keeper.  In 1982 when Brazil were magnificent, they had Zico, Socrates, Eder, Falcao etc but they had a big lump of a centre forward who was useless called Serginho.  The 2014 Brazil have Fred who is really really bad and as immobile as they come but even he can;t miss when presented with an open goal from 5 yards to make it 3-1.  All over bar the shouting but Fernandinho bundles through to roll in the 4^th and Brazil have won the group and will paly against Chile in the 2^nd Round.  I’m sure that the referee will be chosen carefully for that one. 

Group A – Mexico 3 Croatia 1

The first half of this was pretty average.  Croatia had to win but didn;t really look like a side who believed that they could.  They are almost England-esque in the way they shoehorn players into the wrong positions with Rakitic and Modric both deployed deep in midfield when neither can tackle or neither have much defensive awareness.  Mexico came closest to scoring when Herrera smacked the bar from 30 yards but otherwise the first half was lame.

The second half started in much the same way and with about 20 minutes to go it was like a bomb went off and Croatia just collapsed.  Marquez headed them in front from a corner and within 10 minutes it was 3-0 with Guardado finishing off a brilliant move by driving past the hapless Pleitikosa and Javier Hernandez nodding in from his usual distance of two feet. The best bit was the spectacle of the Mexican manager going absolutely but celebrating his sides goals, pulling ridiculous faces and being wrestled to the floor by players and support staff.  Compare and contrast to Roy Hodgson – the most uninspiring manager ever.  Croatia got a consolation goal through Perisic but no one cared and Mexico go through to play the Netherlands in what should be a fantastic game.

Animal.

24/6/14

Group D – England 0 Costa Rica 0

Hodgson decided that this was a game he could use to give the rest of the squad a game and so we got to witness the future of English football in Frank Lampard, James Milner, Chris Smalling and Ben Foster.  In the next breath he’ll be moaning that we don’t have enough friendlies to hone our team.  Surely better to mix and match as if it was the first game of the next qualifying tournament but no matter really – we’re out after all and he’s keeping his job.  To be brutally honest, I didn’t even watch this as I couldn’t be bothered, this was despite the presence of two Saints players in the team in Lallana and Shaw.  A month ago I’d have been gagging to watch this game for this reason alone but more of that later.  Costa Rica didn;t need to win as they’d already qualified and England didn’t know how to win.  Sturridge missed chances again and though he should have had a penalty in the first half – that was about it.  Boring game, boring performance, boring manager but Uncle Roy said we played well – really?  Costa Rica win the group and fair play to them.

Group D -  Uruguay 1 Italy 0

Before it became apparent how crap England were, I thought the Italians looked decent but the defeat to Costa Rica showed up their limitations which were all on display again here.  Pirlo had a free kick which caused some panic for Muslera but other than that they produced very little.  Marchisio managed to get sent off for a ridiculous stamp tackle in the 2^nd half and Uruguay were the better side and forced Buffon into a number of decent saves.  They eventually did win as Gaston Ramirez swung in a corner and Godin, who should of course have been sent off against England and not playing here, headed the winner and put Uruguay through and Italy out.  The game will of course only be remembered for Hannibal Suarez going for it again and biting Chiellini on the shoulder.  He then compunded it by diving on the ground and pretending his teeth hurt.  I expect they did as shoulders can be quite tough if you bite them.  He obviously has serious mental issues, as do the Uruguayan representatives who defend him as if it’s an everyday thing.  Sorry – none of your other players do it.  I’m sure there have been other players who have bitten someone but I can't think of one off hand and 3 times in a few years?  The guy is a fucking animal and if he’d done that 3 times on the street then he’d be in prison, or a zoo.  

**Update: Suarez banned for 4 months from all football.... good news for Rickie Lambert I guess.  Personally, I think it should have been 6 months with a suspended life ban if he does it again. 

World Cup 2014 Part 4 - Iran are better than England.

Suarez points to where Gerrard flicked it on

19/6/14

Group C – Colombia 2 Ivory Coast 1

Colombia looked the better side all the way though this and took the lead in the second half as Rodriguez easily headed in a corner from virtually in front of the keeper.  Ivory Coast again left Drogba on the bench and went 2-0 down when they tried to play out of defence and got caught and Colombia chose the right option and Quintero scored.  Gervinho, with his forehead hidden by a scarf, scoored a bloody good goal to make it 2-1 as he danced through about 4 challenges as he cut in from the left and scored as the keeper didn’t cover himself in glory.  So, Colombia are virtually through but Ivory Coast should still make it as long as they don’t get beaten by Greece.

Group D – England 1 Uruguay 2

It was time to do or die for England and Mr Dynamic picked the same side that played against Italy other than putting Rooney and Sterling in the best positions.  I wanted to see Barkley, Lallana and Shaw from the start to give it a bit more energy but no – same old, same old with Danny Welbeck picked as an attacker, mainly for his defensive ability, in a game we really have to win.  Uruguay had Suarez starting and you have to wonder how fit he is bearing in mind that 4 days ago they didn’t bring him on when they were losing to Costa Rica.  Within 10 minutes you could tell that we were going to be shit.  None of the front 6 looked at the races with Sterling and Sturridge giving the ball away constantly.  Rooney was at least trying and trying to influence things but his touch was awful and he too was just giving it away.  Henderson and Gerrard weren’t providing any legs in the midfield at all and didn’t appear to be helping the attack or the defence.  Fucking rubbish.  We got a free kick on the edge of the box in absolute perfect position for a right footer as Godin picked up a booking for a deliberate handball.  Rooney was going to take it and whilst I’m sure a lot of the nation was on the edge of their seats expecting him to score, I was there with the feeling I used to get when Bradley Wright-Phillips got through on goal.  I knew he’d fucking miss and sure enough, Rooney put it over the bar.  There really is no excuse for not getting it on target you useless squirrel headed granny shagging bastard. Same with the header that he hit the bar with from 2 feet out.

Cavani was working a lot harder than in Uruguay’s last game as a result of partnering the clearly half-fit Suarez but he picked the ball up after Gerrard had given it away and clipped a great ball over Jagielka in exactly the same way that Italy had played one over Cahill and Suarez peeled away and looped a header across Hart and into the net.  Good goal, piss poor defending, bollocks.  New FIFA rules came into play after that as it’s clearly not against the rules to run away from the ball and forearm smash a player in the throat as Godin did to Sturridge.  Give a free kick for a forearm smash but it’s not worth a second yellow.  We fucked up the free kick and went in 1-0 down.

Surely the old fucker is going to get some energy on the pitch at the start of the second half but fucking not a bit of it.  Same XI the start the second half.  I’m sure Gerrard came onto the pitch in a fucking wheelchair with an oxygen mask on.  I’m sure Hodgson has put sedatives in the drinks at half time as we look even more half arsed after the break. Cavani got through and sitefooted a sitter wide of the far post.

Finally, someone on the England bench, probably Gary Neville, realises that we are going to achieve fuck all and makes a change with Sterling being the name pulled out of the hat to come off.  He’s been piss poor but equally, any of the front 6 could have come off.  Barkley is on and what do you know a bit more energy and dynamism and we immediately look a better team.  Rooney had another golden chance as he hammered in a shot from the edge of the box but having made the space he shouldn’t have given Muslera a chance but he pulled off a decent save.

With 15 minutes to go, the pressure paid off as Sturridge produced something for the first time and sent Johnson away who won a tackle and it bounced across the goal and Rooney this time, could not possibly miss and beat Muslera to make it 1-1.  So, a point isn’t bad at the end of the day and at least it gets us into the last game with a bit of a chance.  With 5 minutes to go, Muslera booms a ball forward, Gerrard takes his eye off it and flicks it on straight to Suarez who takes it on and smashes it past Hart to make it 2-1.  What was Gerrard doing?  Where was the centre half covering round? Fuck off.  In exactly the same way as against Germany 4 years ago, we’ve been done by a big boot forward that we’ve allowed to bounce.  I have no words for how shite it is to concede a goal in this way at a World Cup but we’ve done it, twice.  The last 5 minutes produce nothing of note.  Hodgson gives Rickie Lambert 4 minutes in place of Henderson who I had forgotten was playing.  What’s he supposed to do with 4 minutes Roy, you wanker? 

And so it came to pass that we lost. 2 out of 2 and then they start shitting on on TV about how we can still qualify if Italy win every game and then we beat Costa Rica and blah blah fucking blah.  No chance. For starters, we won’t beat Costa Rica.  If we get to that game and we’re not out yet then Hodgson will pick the same team again and wonder why we get the same inept tired bollocks and get beat again.  Let’s face it, it was always going to be difficult but a decent, brave manager would have realised that we needed legs out there.   I can’t believe I’m saying this as he’s such an inept footballer but James Milner would have added more than Gerrard out there today because at least he’d have got about the park. It’s all very well saying we had a young squad – yes we did but not enough of them were on the pitch.  You also had in-form players like Lallana who has had a great season, not being used and players who have been shite like Welbeck picked to start.  Then you have Rooney and our obsession with him and Roy falling into the same trap of every other England manager and picking him regardless and indulging him despite the fact he does nothing to warrant it.  It was actually one of his better games today –  and he was still very average.  Ross Barkley is going to end up like le Tissier – managers would never pick le Tiss and Gazza in the same side and Gazza was always going to be preferred.  The same is going to happen with Barkley and Rooney unless someone has the balls and you know that Roy Hodgson is not going to have the balls.  I’ll finish the England post-mortem after our inevitable exit next Tuesday.  I’m too pissed at the moment.

Group D – Japan 0 Greece 0

Boring.  Couldn’t be arsed to watch this after the England fiasco.  Like England, Two teams that won’t be missed.

The Italians console eachother as only they know how.

20/6/14

Group D – Italy 0 Costa Rica 1

There is something in you subconscious as a football fan that you will hope for any route possible for your team to get through to the next round.  However, relying as we are on an Italian win in this game, I’m really hoping that we are put out of our misery so I don’t have to listen to Chiles quoting mathematical equations on the probability of England going through.  Make no mistake, Italy were terrible but Costa Rica were decent with lots of energy and invention in their play – attributes that are in complete contrast with those of the England team.  They worked out that Pirlo was the best Italian player nd they didn’t give him time on the ball which is hardly a tactical masterstroke but it is one that was beyond Roy Hodgson.  Costa Rica really should have had a penalty just before half time as Chiellini clattered Campbell with the ball in a different post code but not given.  Unreal.... a minute later however they took the lead as Diaz put over a superb cross on the run from the left and Bryan Ruiz, who spent last season getting hounded out of Fulham, rose to head in off the underside of the bar.  Italy were marginally better int he second half without ever looking like scoring and so Costa Rica won and went though, Italy have a winner-take-all game vs Uruguay in which they need a draw... and England are shit and out and Balotelli loses his bet and doesn't get to kiss the Queen - he gets to stick his tongue in Camilla Parker-Bowles instead.

Group E – Switzerland 2 France 5

Laughably, Switzerland are ranked 6 in the world due to FIFA’s stupid system for working out rankings whereby you will rise by playing ropey sides in friendlies or by being Swiss like Sepp Blatter.  No payments have been accepted for this assertion.  Switzerland must have played a lot of ropey sies in friendlies to be ranked above France who tore them apart in the first half and were 3-0 up at half time.  They had this centre forward playing called Olivier Giroud who is no relation to the lump who ponces about up front for Arsenal.  Mind you he was helped by an enforced substitution for the Swiss which saw Phillippe Senderos, possibly the worst defender I’ve ever seen, come on to mark him.  Giroud just constantly bullied the hapless Senderos and rose unmarked to thump in a header from a corner for 1-0.  Within a minute it was two as Matuidi ran through the inside left channel without anyone going to challenge him and scored at Benaglio’s near post.  France managed to miss a penalty after that when Benzema’s poor effort was saved and Cabaye came up with a contender for miss of the  tournament by hitting the bar from the rebound from 5 yards with the keeper nowhere.  Not to be denied though, it was 3-0 just before half time as France broke and Giroud put a perfect pass in for Valbuena to score easily. 4-0 through Benzema and 5-0 when Sissoko took advantage of more shambolic defending.  The Swiss got a couple back as Dzemaili tried a free kick from 40 yards which Benzema stepped over in the wall to give his own keeper no chance and Xhaka scored easily as he beat the offside trap.  It has to be said that France look very very decent indeed but they’ll of course be playing better sides than Honduras and Switzerland.

Group E – Honduras 1 Ecuador 2

Ecuador were the attest team to have to man up against the Honduran kick-to-kill squad.  With both teams having lost their first game, the losers were all but gone.  Honduras took the lead with a goal straight out of the Allardyce coaching manual as a big hoof forward was allowed to bounce and Costly ran through and smashed it in for 1-0.  It was soon all square though as Paredes shanked a shot across the penalty area for the Valencia who’s not the shtty Manchester United one, diverted it in.  Honduras really should have gone back in front but Costly’s header pooled onto the post and Bengtson then tried to claim that he’d scored from the rebound, despite clearly punching the ball in with his forearm, the cheating little bastard.  Euador looked the team most likely in the second half and duly won it when Ayovi swung in a free kick and Enner Valencia once more was the man on the spot to score.  Chances are that both of these teams will be heading out but I’m sure France will rest a few versus Ecuador so you never know.

Safe to say, No Iran fans looked like this.

21/6/13

Group G - Germany 2 Ghana 2

The first half of this was pretty poor as Germany huffed and puffed but Ghana played the better football and so we arrived a half time at 0-0 and maybe Germany aren’t the all conquering super power that they are made out to be.  One thing that will never be in doubt though is that they are lucky bastards as 10 minutes in the second half, Thomas Muller crossed and Gotze scored as he ran in, bollocksed up his header but it hit his knee as it dropped off his face and flew into the net.  Ghana equalised straight away with a proper header from Andre Ayew and we were looking at a very amusing scoreline 10 minutes later as Lahm gave the ball away to Muntari who slipped it through for Gyan who smashed it past Neuer.  Ze Germans never just lie down and give up though and sent on Schweinsteiger and Klose and the latter scored with his first tough from 6 inches out to draw level with the proper Ronaldo in terms of World Cup Finals goals.  It seemed inevitable that ze Germans would go on and win but Ghana held out and got the point they deserved and fair play.  Anything that stalls ze Germans is good news.  Germany will of course go through but Ghana now have a shout if they can beat Portugal.

Group F - Argentina 1 Iran 0

Argentina must have looked at this game when the draw was made and thought it was going to be a slaughter.  Messi and Aguero and di Maria against…. Who exactly? Ashkan Dejagah from relegated Fulham.  The expected massacre didn’t materialize though – Garaty missed a sitter with a header and Aguero should have scored but Iran had their moments on the break suggesting that the Argentine defence is going to be their undoing again as it was 4 years ago under that fat little ‘hand of God’ tosser.  Irn have a player called Ghoochannejhad and on the back of his shirt it says ‘Reza’ so that’ll do from now on.  Anyway, he got in a great header in the second half and Romero had to claw it away as Iran played with a belief and a spirit that made England look embarrassing.  The Argies had their moments mostly through Messi but Iran could so easily have been in front.  There was a penalty should where Zabaleta scraped the top of the ball and his follow through cleaned out Dejagah.  There’s no way that the ref could have seen the brush on the ball so how has he not given that as a pen.  Regardless, Dejagah forced a top drawer save out of Romero again as he attempted a van Persie header over the keeper but he just got his claws to it.  Reza had another chance as he raced away with Romero saving well again but with 93 on the clock, Messi picked up the ball 25 yards out and curled a wonderful shot into the far corner of the net.  They were lucky and they celebrated like they’d just scored against England in a winner-takes-the-Falklands match.  I wish England could play like Iran though.

Group F - Nigeria 1 Bosnia-Herzigovina 0

Two of the more boring teams produced a game which was decent in parts.  Again there was a shocker from a lino as Dzeko was put through, miles onside, only to slot it home and it not be given.  Again it changed the game as Nigeria soon scored as a pull back from the right was slotted in by Odemwingie who was playing for his next transfer.  Bosnian midfielder Pjanic was on a one man mission to get Edin Dzeko a goal but he continued to miss for the rest of the match, capping it all in the last few minutes by scuffing a shot from 8 yards which hit the keepers foot and hit the post.  Nigeria held on and Bosnia are on their way home.

World Cup 2014 Part 3 - Changing of the Guard

Did someone say ...Siberia?

17/6/14

Group H - Belgium 2 Algeria 1

The highly rated Belgians faced Algeria as the final group got under way.  They’re highly rated in this country because a majority of them play in the Premier League but then, so do all of the England players and we’re world beaters after all.  As if to prove my point, Belgium went 1-0 down as Vertonghen got caught ball watching and did what Vertonghen does and grabber to forwards arm and pulled him down. Penalty and to my mind it should have been a red card but no matter as up stepped Feghouli and set Courtois the wrong way with one of those shit penalties that was the easiest save imaginable if he went the other way.  Belgium huffed and puffed until the 70^th minute and it was a premier League player who finally equalized for them and the shock was that it was a player who has been shite this season as Fellani got his wig on a cross and powered home a header in exactly the sort of way he used to do for Everton before he fucked himself up by joining Man United.  With 20 minutes left there was only going to be one outcome and sure enough Belgium scored again when Hazard played a ball to Mertens who had acres and he smashed it past the excellent Algerian keeper MBohli and into the roof of the net.

Group A - Brazil 0 Mexico 0

Mexico were not here to roll over and die but they knew that if you have a shot and Julio Cesar turns it over the bar, then it’s a goal kick.  Ochoa, the keeper at the other end saved well from a Neymar header and a close range blast from the same player as Brazil made chances without ever really looking like a top class team. Marcelo got in after a fantastic crossfile ball from Luiz but decided to have a dive like a complete wanker and to my amazement, the referee didn’t give it so that will probably be his last game officiating at this World Cup.  Ochoa made another fantastic reflex save from Thiago Silva’s point bank header and Mexico kept Brazil thinking at the other end.  Brazil are not going to win it with this team.  They’d have a chance if they had a striker but Fred is an absolute liability.  In two games he’s hardly touched the ball because he doesn’t move. 

Group H - Russia 1 South Korea 1

It’s a bit odd that Brazil and Mexico have played their 2^nd game before these two have started but here we are in the presence of Fabio Capello and his Russians.  This game was obviously played with a big round bar of soap instead of a ball – either that or both goalkeepers were shit, especially Akinfeev for Russia who spilled everything but got away with it until Lee Keun-ho shot from 25 yards and the keeper got his hands to it and virtually threw it over his shoulder and into the net.  Capello made a sub and put on Kerzhakov and within two minutes he’s equalized as a clearance smacked into a Russian player and dropped for him to turn it past the keeper.

"To be fair Fernando, you are shite"

18/6/14

Group B - Netherlands 3 Australia 2

It would be great if Australia got annihilated and it looks like it might happen as Arjen Robben started running from the halfway line and didn’t stop until he’d beaten the entire Aussie defence and smashed it across the keeper and into the net.  Happy days but fair play to the Aussies as Tim Cahill smashed in one of the best goals you’ll ever see, fastening on to a ball chipped across from the right and crashing it into the net with a left footed volley which I cannot possibly do justice to.  The the ref go involved and gave the Aussies a penalty for handball which was ridiculous as the defender as not even looking and Jedinak put the Aussies 2-1 up but the hope didn’t last long as van Persie levelled which he will do if you give him a free shot from 10 yards.  The winner was amusing as substitute Depay tried a pot shot from miles out and the keeper went down in instalments and away it swerved and into the net.  Bye Australia.

Group B - Spain 0 Chile 2

With the Dutch having won earlier in the day, Spain went into this game knowing that if they lost then they would be out.  Del Bosque realised that he had to do something and so he dropped Xavi which though he was poor against the Dutch, looked like a ludicrous decision when the equally anonymous David Silva and Diego Costa were retained with David Villa and Fabregas on the bench, not to mention Cazorla and Mata.  Even after a goalless half an hour you could see that Spain were stuggling.  They got hustled out of their stride by the high pressing game of the Chileans and kept giving the ball away.  Xabi Alonso was having mare and it was he who coughed up the ball to Alexis Sanchez who drew the defender and slipped the ball inside to Aranguiz to moved it on to Vargas who scored expertly.  Another player who had survived the Dutch game was Iker Casillas and he again showed why he should have by flapping a long range free kick back into the middle and Aranguiz brilliantly put away the rebound.  Half time 2-0 and Spain have had it.  To be fair they tried in the second half but theor best chances fell to two players who were never going to score as long as they had a hole in their arses as Busquets put an open goal wide and Diego Costa gave us hope that Chelsea have signed another duff Spanish striker.  Talking of which, del Bosque replaced Costa with Torres with 20 to go whilst Davis Villa sat and watched on.  Carzorla made things better when he came on and forced a couple of saves out of the excellent Brava but Chile easily held on and totally deserved to win.  As for Spain – well they got old and the manager failed to use younger fitter squad players and stuck with the tried and tested and old in conditions that didn’t suit them.  Mata, Fabregas and Cazorla should all have played more and Casillas is shot to bits having not played any football this season.  It will be a new broom for Spain as the manager will doubtless go and we’ve probably seen the last of Xavi, David Villa, Xabi Alonso, Torres and Casillas.  They’ve been brilliant in their time but it looks like their time has gone.  It wasn’t even a surprise that they lost today – the only surprise is that Sergio Ramos didn’t wipe someone out and get sent off after a 21 man brawl.  I wonder if they can flog Costa back to Brazil?

Group A - Croatia 4 Cameroon 0

Croatia, probably fuelled by the shite referiing they got against Brazil, tore into Cameroon at the start and took ten minutes to go 1-0 up as Mandzukic squared and Olic tapped in at the far post.  Cameroon then showed their amazing discipline as Alex Song produced a kind of martial arts flying elbow down a players back as he was running away from him.  Quite bizarre and a great spot from the officials to send the twat off.  It was still 1-0 at half time but there was no way this was going to end in any other way than a hammering.  Perisic got away down the left and cut in with no challenge to slip it past the keeper who dived the wrong way.  Mandzukic then scored with a header from a corner as no one challenged him and the same player rounded off the scoring as Eduardo’s tame effort was present to him by a chocolate wristed goalkeeper.  The game ended with Assou-Ekotto pushing his head into the face of another one of his players.  They’re a shambles and Croatia have a do or die match against Mexico.

Tomorrow it's time for England... oh joy.

World Cup 2014 Part 2 - Germany in Ruthless Efficiency Shocker

Honduras in Red Card Shocker

15/6/14

Group C – Ivory Coast 2 Japan 1

This is the ghost game of the tournament, played as it was at 2am GMT.  Japan started well and played some nice football and took the lead with a great strike by Keisuke Honda.  Ivory Coast were displaying everything that you’d expect with some awesome pace and power, combined with undisciplined and basically psss-poor defending.  The tide was turning gradually and it seemed a metter of time before the Ivorians scored and it came after half time when a cross from the right by Aurier was powered in by Bony.  A minute later and the game had completely turned around as Aurier played in another superb cross onto the very sizeable forehead of Gervinho whose header should have been kept out by Kawashima but he allowed it to dribble inside the near post.  Nice for Gervinho and his forehead to get a  goal and it turned out to be the winner.

Group E – Switzerland 2 Ecuador 1

I though that this would be a boring cagey affair but it was anything but.  Switzerland (whose presence at Number 6 in the World Rankings prove that the World Rankings are a joke) went behind when they forgot to mark at a free kick and Enner Valencia had a free header which he buried in the same way that he buried the one against England in the warm-up game.  Half time came and went and Switzerland brought on Mehmedi and he managhed to score with his first touch as Ecuador forgot that marking at a coner is kind of essential and a free header from 5 yards is not a good thing to allow.  The second half was end to end with the Swiss having a perfectly legitimate goal ruled out for a non-existent offside.  In the 93^rd minute with both teams still going for it, Ecuador broke up field and Enner Valencia chose the wrong option and lost the ball instead of playing an easy pass. Away went the Swiss and despite a scything attemped foul, the ref allowed Bahrami to play on and two passes later, Seferovic was on hand to sweep it first time into the net.  94^th minute winner and lovely. 

Group E – France 3 Honduras 0

The kick-to-kill Hondurans were up next against France who are a decent outside bet to do well in the tournament despite being robbed of Franck Ribery before the tournament. France were obviously a different class to their opponents and known thug Wilson Palacios managed to kick it all off by smashing into Pogba who retaliated a bit and we had the first 16 man brawl of the tournament.  Back to the football and the game was effectively over just before half time when Palacios brought down Benzema for a penalty and a red card and Benzema picked himself up to score.  France played within themselves, probably trying not to get injured and scored twice more though a horrible bobbly effort that the keeper juggled over the line and a last minute effort from Benzema to get off to a decent start.   The own goal brought a goal awarded by goal line technology but still, even with the ball over the line and proved by technology, Jonathan Pierce was still convinced it wasn’t in.  What a complete cock.

Group F – Argentina 2 Bosnia-Herzegovina 1

Argentina have virtually been given a bye through to the next round but the most difficult of their games was up first as they played Bosnia-Herzigovina.  Within 5 minutes it was even easier as Messi swung in a free kick and Kolasinac stuck it in his own net.  I think you’ll find that Messi is good enough to not need anyone’s help.  Far from being the cakewalk that everyone expected, the rest of the fist half was quite dull but the main man lit up the second as he scampered towards the box, played a 1-2 with Higuain and beat a couple more before firing in off the post.  Again it should have been the queue for more goals and for Argentina to show their dominance but it didn’t and Bosnia pulled one back with 5 to go as Ibisevic poked one through the keepers legs.  No real alarms in the last 5 minutes but maybe Argentina aren’t as good as they are reckoned to be.  Lets hope that they’re average.

Even though it's Germany, it's always amusing when it's Ronaldo

16/6/14

Group G - Germany 4 Portugal 0

Speaking as someone who had a bet on Portugal to win the whole thing, I was looking forward to this game and Ronaldo beating ze Germans on his own.  You expect Germany to be, well Germany but I expected Portugal to have more flair and put up a decent showing.  10 minutes in and Germany score through a Thomas Muller penalty as the Portuguese defence decide it’s much better to grab someone’s arm and throw them over than actually defend properly.  Half an hour in and it’s 2-0 as they allow Hummels a free header from a corner which he buries.  What you want from your big experienced players is for them to stand up and be counted but Ronaldo was missing in action and Pepe first threw an arm in Muller’s face and then just to make sure that the referee did something, he dropped the nut on him when he was on the ground.  Off you go and if the Portuguese manager has any bollocks then he’ll send him home.  Muller is a whiny little bitch and made the most of the challenge but Pepe is a complete asshole and deserves everything he gets. Just as half time approached and Portugal could maybe have regrouped, Bruno Alves tried to clear from inside the box and instead hit it against Muller who turned and smashed in the third.  The second half was damage limitation for Portugal and the sight of Ballon D’Or winner Ronaldo sulking about whenever he lost the ball was a sight to behold.  Brilliant player but a shit attitude.  Ze Germans made it 4-0 and Muller got his hat-trick when he pounced on a rebound after the keeper parried Schurrle’s shot.

Overall, ze Germans looked fucking scary.  The three attacking midfielders in Ozil, Gotze and Muller were unplayable and though I hate to say it, they look superb as a team.  Hope lies in the fact that they’ve started the last couple of tournaments very well before feeling the pressure and blowing it and lets hope they do the same this time and keep up their 18 year trophy drought.  As he left the pitch, Ronaldo ripped off his shirt but he didn’t pull the Mr Muscles pose – I assume because his impending book already has a cover.

Group F - Iran 0 Nigeria 0

Well it had to happen.  Every game so far had had its share of goals and excitement and then we had Iran v Nigeria.  Nigeria has to make the running as Iran defended and that isn’t easy when your midfield fulcrum is John Obi Mikel.  He wears the symbolic No.10 shirt as well which really says ‘I’m the man and I make things happen’ only it doesn’t when you stroll around like it’s all too much effort for you. The less said about this game the better as it was shite.  Nigeria’s main striker is Shola Ameobi for fucks sake and the fact that Nigeria desperately wanted him to declare for them rather than wait for an England call up says it all really.  This was a good point for Iran but piss poor from Nigeria who will struggle to cause Argentina and Bosnia any problems on this showing.

Group G - Ghana 1 USA 2

Whoever loses this is basically out as they have 2 matches to go against Germany and Portugal so it’s important to make a decent start.  I expect that both managers said this to their players as they went out so I expect the Ghana boss was very pissed off when they were playing statues as the USA tore into them and scored after 35 seconds.  Clint Dempsey was the man, he of the contorted face and acting like he’s been shot and imploring the referee every time he’s in a challenge.  Jozy Altidore or to give him his full title, Jozy Altidore, one of the worst players I’ve ever seen, did the US a favour by limping off but not before he’s missed a sitter by drilling at the keeper when he had the whole goal to aim at.  An even first half ended and Ghana dominated after the restart but it took until the 82 minute for them to equalize though Ayew.  Their relief was short lived though as they allowed Brookes to score with a header from a corner and the USA had won – tossers.  The only saving grace is that they are very unlikely to make the next round.  They are of course managed by Jurgen Klinsmann which is another reason to hate them.  He celebrates goals as a manager in the same way he did as a player and whilst it’s good to see passion on the sidelines – he’ll always be the twat who made diving an artform in the 90s.

World Cup 2014 Part 1 - FIFA Buy the Referee and Hodgson Cocks It Up.

Dejan Lovren might not agree with the Ref

12/6/14

Group A – Brazil 3 Croatia 1

Day 1 and Brazil are up first against Croatia and away we go after watching J-Lo shake her thing about (very nice too) and kids releasing doves and all that stuff that makes it look like FIFA is a wonderful, pure, selfless organization.  There’s a brief feel-good element to things and then you see Adrian Chiles for the first time.  Since they won their World Cup winners medals in 1998 and 2006 respectively, Patrick Vieira and Fabio Cannavaro must have been waiting for the moment when they got to share a TV studio with a bumbling, clueless potato and Lee Dixon.

After two cracking national anthems and the players giving it loads with veins in the next bulging, the actual football started and the script went up in the air as Croatia scored as Jelavic scuffed a shot into the path of Marcelo who finished with aplomb straight into his own net.  Goal line technology was broadcast by ITV which said it had crossed the line which I think everyone realised when it hit the back of the net and stayed there.  Neymar then threw a silly arm-raised challenge at Modric and caught him in the face.  It was a bit of a wet slap so I think yellow was just about right but if you could pick one player in this tournament who will not get sent off in the first half then it would be Neymar.  He could murder someone basically.  Five minutes later he picks a ball up in midfield and runs before scuffing a shot into the corner, off the post to make it 1-1.  The ball passes through Lovren’s legs on its way in but it’s shocking from Pleitikosa in goal who just seems to collapse.  Half time and Brazil have had the possession but Croatia have looked dangerous on the break and the more incisive.

The second half starts with Brazil pressure and then it changes round and Croatia are in the ascendency and testing Cesar in the Brazil goal before the ghost of South Korea 2002 rears its ugly head as we can’t have the host nation struggling.  Fred backs into Lovren and slides his feet forwards so he falls over and the ref gives a penalty.  It’s a joke, hometown, bent decision.  You just have to look at the fact that he couldn’t wait to give it, gave it instantly and with great relish.  Neymar danced and stuttered his way up to the penalty and Pleitikosa went the right way, got 2 hands to it and still shoved it in the net.  Croatia had chances before the end and had a goal disallowed (rightly in my view) but got done on the break as Oscar poked in a shot from the edge of the box and Pleitikosa completed his hat-trick by doing the collapsing goalkeeper thing again.  Overall it was a decent game of decent attacking football but the hometown bent refereeing leaves a cloud.  I liked the cocaine-in-a-can thing for marking out where the wall should be and matches involving Colombia and Mexico should be great for this reason alone but I wasn’t impressed with the imaginary card waving from the Brazilians, particularly when Gene Hackman Scolari joined in.  Waving an imaginary card is basically dissent as you’re disagreeing with the ref so you should book players for it.

Brazil will of course win Group A as it’s in the contract.  The group also contains Mexico and Cameroon.  The hosts aren’t great at the back with David Luiz being a walking mistake and there’s space behind Marcelo and Dani Alves if you can get at them.  Up front, Fred was useless, completely hopeless but Neymar was different class altogether and Oscar played well on the right after a shaky start.  Croatia could still go through of course but without Mandzukic they are short up front.  Neither Olic nor Jelavic look the answer at all.  I did like their manager Niko Kovac who didn’t pull any punches in his post match interview, the gist of which was that we may as well all give up and go home if that’s a penalty.  He might not be far wrong.

That my Friends, is a header!

13/6/14

Group A – Mexico 1 Cameroon 0

What we needed after the farcical refereeing performance yesterday was a controversy free game and that’s exactly what we didn’t get as Mexico were the better side against a pretty dismal Cameroon and had two goals disallowed in the first half for offside.  The first one was level and no benefit of the doubt was given to the attacker and the second one was ridiculous.  A cross came in and the striker was miles onside but it flicked off a Cameroon defender which in the mind of the linesman, made him offside.  Absolute horse shit.  The linesman couldn’t tell the difference between a Mexican in a green shirt and a big black bloke in a yellow shirt.  Players dream of scoring even one goal in a World Cup but Giovanni dos Santos had two legitimate goals disallowed because the lino had been on the cocaine in a can before the game.  Luckily for Mexico iit wasn’t decisive as they scored the winner in the second half when Peralta followed in and scored then the ball bounced back to him.  Cameroon have some good players but were pretty ordinary and Mexico’s game with Croatia will decide who goes through behind Brazil.

Group B - Spain 1 Netherlands 5

Initial fears that we were going to get Friday the 13^th: Spain v Netherlands: The Sequel, looked well founded as Nigel de Jong went piling into players but without approaching neck level like he did 4 years ago.  Spain have a new striker in Diego Costa who they bought from Brazil.  The guy was born in Brazil and played for Brazil  in a couple of friendlies but now he’s Spanish.  OK, that’s a fucking stupid rule especially when you consider that Brazil haven’t played any competitive games for 4 years.  Having said that I’m not sure that the Confederations Cup counts.  So Spain now have a striker and he won a penalty when de Vrij went steaming in like a twat and Costa hurdled the challenge and trod on de Vrij as he slid by and fell over.  Penalty – really?  Anyway, up stepped Xabi Alonso to score and we all sat back waiting for a masterclass of possession.  The Dutch however had failed to read the script and equalised soon after as Daley Blind bombed over a huge cross from the left and van Persie scored with a fantastic diving header which he lobbed over Casillas.  Fabulous goal and half time.  

The 2nd half was a procession but not towards the Dutch goal.  Spain went pass, pass, pass, pass, pass and lost it, the Dutch went for the throat.  Blind played another great ball for Robben who danced around Ramos and Pique before smashing past Casillas and 3-1 then arrived as Casillas flapped at a cross and de Vrij bundled it in.  To be fair to the keeper, it was a foul on him by van Persie but he was nowhere near the cross.  Casillas then made sure that everyone knew that he had gone to shit and controlled a back pass straight to van Persie and the only thing that was going to make him miss was shock.  Needless to say, he didn’t miss and 4-1 became 5-1 as Robben got in a foot race with Ramos from half way and Casillas made it easy for him by flying out like a complete arse.  It could have been 6-1 but to be fair, Casillas made a superb double save from Wynaldum and then from Robben but bloody hell, Spain suddenly got old.  All that was left was for the hapless Torres to come on as a sub and dawdle over a tap in, allowing Blind to tackle him practically on the goal line.   The Spanish were very average but the Dutch had their moment like England did when we smashed Germany by the same score.  He question remains if the Dutch will build on it or under achieve like we did.

Group B – Chile 3 Australia 1

Australia are a bit like the United States in that I don’t like them at all.  They’re usually just a team of athletes who are organized but this time, the coach has ditched nearly all the experienced players and is going with the youth who are obviously not very good as they’ve been getting humped in their warm-up matches.  So, hopes are high that they’re going to get a pasting, especially when Chile scored twice in the first 15 minutes through Alexis  Sanchez and Valdavia.  The expected annihilation didn’t materialize though as Tim Cahill pulled on back with a trademark header from a right wing cross.  Australia had the odd situation which could have led to an equalizer but Chile put it to bed near the end as Jean Beausajour made it 3-1 with an arrowed finish from the edge of the box.  Off you go Australia.  Chile against Spain will be a bit tasty now.

"I can play shit in any of the forward positions"

14/6/14

Group C – Colombia 3 Greece 0

There was no way on God’s green earth that I was going to make a special effort to watch a game involving Greece unless I had to.  Their World Cup is going to be, turn up, play three games, have about 2 shots in 3 games, lose and go home in time for tea.  It took them all of 5 minutes to fall behind to the decent looking Colombians when Amero wandered up from the back and scuffed in a shot which was deflected past the keeper.  The rest of the first half was fairly even and the Greeks had a penalty shout at the start of the second as Samaras weaved into the box before having a dive instead of carrying on.  Serves you right you wanker.  2-0 through Gutierrez from a flick on from a corner and then Gekas hit the bar from 4 yards out when the preferred option would surely have been to nod into the gaping empty net.  He used to play for a dodgy Southern based Engish club in blue if I remember correctly.  Rodriguez sidefooted home for 3-0 and the game was all over, Greece had been more attacking than I expected but they’re shit, basically.  Colombia looked like a side who will reach the knockout stages and whoever plays them will fancy their chances.  They do however have mad goal celebrations.

Group D – Uruguay 1 Costa Rica 3

I was expecting a procession towards the Costa Rica goal for this game even with Uruguay being without Luis Suarez and so it proved for the first half.  A rugby tackle in the box brought a penalty to Uruguay which Cavani converted.  I dunno about you but I think Cavani is severely overrated but his goal was the difference at half time.  Ten minutes after half time and the beer kicked in and I went to the loo and when I’d got back, Costa Rica were 2-1 up.  Joel Campbell smashed in the first as a free kick broke to him inside the penalty area and then Duarte rose above everyone at the back stick and headed and headed across Muslera and in the other side of the goal.  Uruguay’s defending was carnage despite Godin and Lugano performing the same wrestling moves that had won them a penalty at the other end.  Uruguay had half an hour to find a goal and produced nothing with Cavani anonymous and 3 substitutions tellingly leaving Suarez on the bench and none of the incoming players providing any spark.  A Costa Rican sub fastened onto a through ball from the excellent Campbell and slid it first time under Muslera who came rushing out like an idiot.  Man of the Match Joel Campbell is one of the players that Arsenal have been stockpiling who hasn’t played a first team game for them and has just been out on loan everywhere.  Well that wasn't in the script for this group - Cat released, pigeons everywhere.

Group D – Italy 2 England 1

News came through whilst the Uruguay game was happening that Raheem Sterling was going to start and Adam Lallana had been dropped.  This on its own was a bit concerning as it meant that Welbeck was still in the side but then the whispers started that Sterling was in the 10 role and Rooney had been shunted left into a role where we have about 5 players who are more effective.  This ‘leak’ was confirmed before kick off so  I assume we can chalk this one down to Lallana being the easiest to drop.  England started well and Sterling had the whole country on it’s feet when he fired in a shot from 30 yards which sped past the keeper and hit the side netting.  For all the world it looked like a goal and I’m sure I wasn’t alone in being off my chair, shouting and generally making a tit of myself.  Italy were immediately tearing us a new one down the left where Darmiann and Candreva were up against Baines as Rooney totally failed to give him any cover. They opened the scoring from a corner as we switched off, Pirlo stepped over the corner and Marchisio took a touch before lashing it through the crowd and into the net with Rooney failing to get anything on it as it whistled past him.  Back came England straight away though and a good break and ball by Sterling allowed Rooney to curl a delightful cross to Sturridge who buried it on the half volley to make it 1-1.  We had a good go at going 2-1 down before half time as Hart went walkabout and then kind of half got back in his goal.  The Italian chipped him easily and Jagielka got back on the line to head over.  It was interesting that they didn’t show the goal line technology graphic when they’d previously been showing it when the ball hit the net and stayed there.  I guess that they couldn’t stand the thought of Phil Neville commentating on it in his monotone drawl.

Acknowledgement that the Rooney experiment hasn’t worked came when Hodgson switched Rooney and Welbeck over but it was still bad and within 10 minutes Italy were back in front as Baines was exposed again 2v1 and he then compounded it by not marking either player.  A cross from the right and Balotelli got in behind Cahill to give Hart no chance with a header.  Liability Johnson had followed his man into the centre forward position so either through lack of communication or just bad marking we were 2-1 down.  We had at least 4 players blowing out of their arses by the hour mark but Hodgson took off Welbeck who wasn’t one of them and brought on Barkley who immediately looked lively.  Henderson was next to be removed and Wilshere come on which made me thing that Hodgson was just doing it by numbers.  He knew Barkley should have started so he was first sub, Wilshere was in the team before injury so he’s on next and I predicted that Lallana would be on next as he was unlucky to be dropped.  Sure enough, when Sturridge copped a dead leg, Lallana came on when it really should have been Lambert.  We had the one glorious chance to equalize and it fell to Rooney who cut inside a defender and with the whole goal to aim at on his right foot, he shat it wide of the near post in abysmal Sunday League fashion.  Rooney finally got to play up front when Sturridge went off, and predictably did nothing.  Wilshere’s contribution involved running headlong into three players and wondering why he lost the ball and didn’t get a free kick.

The second half was poor and Hodgson was mainly to blame.  Rooney should have come off on the hour mark, closely followed by Gerrard who looked really old on that performance.  Contrast with Pirlo who is a year older and was outstanding for Italy as we didn’t get near him.  Welbeck was having a decent game until he was subbed to indulge Rooney some more.  Aside from the cross for the goal, Rooney was woeful both with and without the ball and does not deserve to start the next match.  He will be indulged though like he always is despite doing absolutely nothing to justify it.  Sturridge is better up front, Sterling, Barkley and Lallana are better in the hole, Sterling, Chamberlain and Lallana are better in the wing positions.  He simply does not deserve to start.... but he will.  Also, he’d be a very good impact sub to bring on with something to prove.   Hodgson has to sort himself out and pick his best team.  If you want a comparison then think 1966 and Alf Ramsey.  Everyone played with wingers at the time but Alf decided not to as we’d be a better team without them.  Jimmy Greaves was our best striker but Alf decided that we were a better team with a Geoff Hurst – Roger Hunt partnership up front. How did that one work out in the end?

My marks out of 10 are: Hart 6, Johnson 6, Baines 5, Jagielka 7, Cahill 6, Gerrard 5, Henderson 6, Welbeck 6, Sterling 7, Rooney 5, Sturridge 7

It has to be said though that we played pretty well and probably deserved a draw which we would have got against a team a little less streetwise than the Italians.  It annoys me that we allowed Pirlo to run the game in the same way as we did two years ago but going forward we were more inventive than of late.  We need to go the whole hog though and leave out the players who drag us back.

Uruguay on Thursday is now a must win.

World Cup Warm Up and the Transfer Request Mystery

It's a Merseyside Wankfest

I was reading all the blogs I wrote for the 2010 World Cup and there were lots of them.  I wondered how I found the time before I remembered that I was unemployed at the time.  So, I’m going to struggle to keep this up but here goes….

As a Saints fan, the build-up to the World Cup has been a painful one.  Rickie Lambert has of course been sold to Liverpool and the bad news (or bad rumours) has just kept on coming as allegedly, Adam Lallana, Luke Shaw and Dejan Lovren have all indicated that they want to leave.  I say allegedly because the news has been drip fed to the world at convenient times and always by the same two journalists – Ben Smith of the British Bollocks Corporation and Neil Ashton of the Daily Bastard.  Who really knows if it’s true or not?  All 3 have allegedly made it known that they want to leave but haven't handed in transfer requests as that means that any 'loyalty' (don't laugh!!!) payments would be withheld.  Forget being a footballer for a minute - I as a human being would not be capable of signing a 5 year contract like Lallana has done and one year later, asking to leave and keep my loyalty payments.  I thought a verbal agreement was binding so why isn't a verbal indication that you want to leave.  In my opinion, if you have verbally indicated that you want to leave then you have in fact handed in a transfer request.  No doubt though, it's all weighted in favour of the players. For now, I'm just sticking my head in the sand on this one and hoping it isn't true.

We are ripe for speculation though as we have no manager at the moment though according to Les Reed, this is a situation that will change shortly.  The main name in the frame is Ronald Koeman who seems to tick every box that you could possibly want to tick – most importantly the ones which concern playing progressive attacking football and working with young players from the academy.  So – it’s not all doom and gloom but for me anyway, it has taken the edge off of the World Cup a bit.  So, we had 3 in the England squad and now we have 2 who both may or may not have played their last games for us. 

Around the other countries we have Dejan with Croatia who is the same and Gaston Raimrez with Uruguay who at least has not been making any noises about leaving as he leaves all that to his agent.  That leaves us with Morgan Schneiderlin who has made the French squad but is of course, on the radar of Arsene bloody Wenger.  Morgan got the call because of an injury to Franck Ribery which means there is one less theatrical diving bastard to wind me up this summer.  Also of course, Maya Yoshida is there with Japan and he’ll definitely be a Saints player next season so maybe we should all follow Japan.

Enough of Southampton for now and we’ve had the England friendlies to keep us entertained – and I use the word 'entertain' lightly.  First up was Peru at home which saw a comfortable 3-0 win with a great goal from Sturridge and two set piece goals from Cahill and Jagielka.  Adam Lallana again played well in this one and Wayne Rooney was garbage.  The side reflected what was thought to be Uncle Roy’s first choice with Henderson in midfield and Welbeck in the side on the left.  Rooney aside, the main nightmare was Glen Johnson who was appalling at right back. 

A flight to Miami later and England were playing Ecuador and the reserves were in the side.  The two defensive midfielders were Lampard and Wilshere and with Jones and Smalling at centre backs and James fuking Milner at right back – is there any wonder that Luke Shaw looked our best defender.  Even he got caught out though as Milner failed to close down, Smalling missed the cross and Luke got caught ball watching as the striker got in front of him and buried the header.  Back came England with Liverpool’s Lambert hotting the post and then Rooney nicked the goal off him from 2 yards out.  2-1 up just after half time as the excellent and exciting Barkley set off on a run, played in Liverpool’s Lambert who smashed it home.  England couldn’t hold on though and a chronic lack of closing down by Lampard and Wilshere resulted in an Ecuadorian sub smashing one in from miles out.  Media darling Raheem Sterling came on as a sub and got himself sent off for a stupid tackle as the game petered out and finished 2-2. 

It served to highlight how shite some of Uncle Roy’s squad picks are.  Milner was fucking horrendous at right back, constantly out of position which you can kind of forgive him for.  However, I can’t forgive him passing the ball five yards straight to the opposition which he did at regular intervals.  That has nothing to do with his position on the field but everything to do with the fact he just isn't very good.  Meanwhile, Nathaniel Clyne sits at home watching on TV.  Chris Smalling gave an object lesson how not the play centre half, continually screwing things up, missing punts downfield from the keeper and being 5 yards behind the other 3 defenders.  Alex Chamberlain played well until he got injured and Ross Barkley was superb.  Hodgson dug him out for giving the ball away but it wasn’t him who perfectly dissected his own defence to set up a chance for Ecuador – no, that was golden child Rooney who is still seen as undroppable and irreplaceable, when he does nothing in an England shirt to warrant it.  Then there was Liverpool’s Lambert – no matter how many times you say it or hear the ITV twat commentators say it – it doesn’t make it any easier.  Saints are never mentioned in connection with him now.  It's like we have been airbrushed from history - it's now Liverpool - rejected - beetroot - lower leagues - England - Liverpool.

The first team were back for the Honduras friendly and the less said about that the better as they tried to kick us off the park.  As a game it was shite and a 0-0 draw but the worrying thing was that Sturridge missed 3 very good chances, one of which was through him deciding to try and Hollywood chip over the keeper, rather than square it for a tap-in.

So – the warm up matches have been played, the stadiums have nearly been completed, the brown envelopes have been stuffed, the corrupt Qatar 2022 vote is being swept under the carpet and Sepp Blatter is still in charge.  It’s time for the World Cup to start.