Premier League Match 23 - Southampton 2 Arsenal 2

King Hypocrite Complains about the 865th Unjust Red Card of his Arsenal Reign.

It had only been three days since the last game so no real chance for any further incident like anyone punching anyone, anyone resigning, anyone taking over as Chairman, St Mary’s burning down or that annoying bald half time bloke being arrested for being annoying and bald.  So, no more meltdown to report as we face Arsenal at St Mary’s, that’s top of the league Arsenal to be exact who have been grinding out win after win. 

The endless winning has not stopped Arsene Wenger being football’s biggest hypocrite.  Now Sir Alex has gone he’s more or less got the entire thing sewn up but his recent bellyaching about Chelsea strengthening rivals was good even by his own spectacularly high standards.  Chelsea sold Juan Mata who was a reserve for them this season to Man United who are nowhere this year.  In Wenger’s eyes this was worse than Arsenal selling Van Persie to United or Clichy and Nasri to Man City who subsequently won the title in their first seasons at their new clubs.  He usually starts coming out with this sort of guff when Arsenal’s season has just started to implode but he’s getting it in early this year as they’re still top and still in three competitions.  Just wait until the end of March.  Chelsea, who he is moaning about are of course managed by the only real contender to Arsene’s King Hypocrite crown.  Expect petty namecalling to resume soon, along the lines of Mourinho calling him a voyeur like he did a few years ago.

Regardless of this, Arsenal are a massive club and a very entertaining one to watch and so I have relented on my ‘not on a school night’ rule and my 9 year old son is present.  Despite me expecting some spectacular whingeing as we walked across the Itchen Bridge in the wind and rain – there was none and here we are in the family centre which is shorn of lots of kids for tonight’s game.  This is ironic given we were all sent letters reminding us of the family centre rules of having to have a kid with you.  One thing it didn’t say in the letter as it really didn’t need to was ‘don’t give your fucking ticket to a fucking opposition fan, especially if they’re an annoying twat’.  I feel that as I’m in the family centre, my ability to give them a mouthful has been compromised somewhat.  It’s amusing that today’s Arsenal fan in the wrong end is one row behind me, two seats to the right – exactly where the Chuckle Brothers were in the Kingsland.

Bugger – Sir Rickie is out injured but Mauricio has gone like for like and Sam Gallagher makes his debut.  How cool is it that he has the choice of an Academy kid or Guly and he’s gone with the kid.  That aside it’s as you’d expect with King Artur in goal, Calum Chambers at right back, Maya Yoshida in for Dejan Lovren and Big Vic being fit enough to return to the bench.  It’s worth mentioning here that we have 7 British players (5 English, 1 Irish, and Gallagher who though a Scotland U19 international was born in Devon) and Arsenal have none, zero, zip, not one.  The starting XI is all foreign.  On the bench we have another 4 Brits (3 English, 1 Welsh) whereas Arsenal have 3, one of which of course is Alex Chamberlain who was one of ours and one is Carl Jenkinson who was from Finland once upon a time.  Contenders to win the English Premier League – my arse!

There’s a Saints fan behind me who is always listening to the radio and gives us regular updates on how other teams who I don’t care about are doing.  She’s crapping on about Arsenal arriving 45 minutes late as they got stuck in the traffic etc and this may explain the start as Saints are all over them.  It’s quite startling to see Morgan and Corky at 100mph and Arteta and Flamini limping around like two fat blokes who have been out on the piss all day.  We’re trying to work out who the 3^rd Arsenal central midfielder is and it takes five minutes to realise that it’s Ozil.

Big Sam is putting himself about straight away and showing no nerves and he has the first chance as the ball breaks to him on the edge of the box and he lashes it on target and Chesney turns it away.  I tell you now that I’m not even going to try and spell it correctly as it’s got too many Z’s in it and not enough vowels.

Another area we are dominating is down the right where Steve Davis and Calum Chambers are up against the non-defending Cazorla and the not-very-good Monreal.  We’re so on top it’s unbelievable but we haven’t created another clear cut chance until J-Rod gets knocked over by Mertesacker and we get given a somewhat fortuitous free kick.  It’s knocked short to Shaw who delivers to the back post where Jose Fonte gets above Monreal who isn’t strong enough in the slightest and I don’t know what Chesney was doing but it beat him at the near post.  It was a goal received rapturously by the supporters because of the goalscorer and what happened with The Prick in training last week.  It also goes to emphasize why one player will be regarded as a club hero or legend and one will in all likelihood be regarded as a wanker.

The expected Arsenal onslaught didn’t happen apart from a two minute burst of intent after they kicked off and Lallana took the chance to impress the watching Roy Hodgson by being unplayable for the Arsenal midfield as he turned them inside out and had a shot deflected wide.  The frustration was showing for Arsenal and Giroud showed why he’s a forward and not anything else with a shit sliding tackle which was only ever going to get him booked and it duly did.

The next big chance fell to Saints courtesy of Monreal who had time to clear but delayed long enough to see his punt up the wing cannon into Steve Davis and fly across the box.  Big Sam had an open goal from six yards as the ball flew to him but sadly his snapshot was shinned wide. It’s a bad miss to be honest and not the sort of thing you can afford to be doing against anyone, let alone Arsenal.  Fair play to Big Sam though as he didn’t let it get to him and was straight away running the channels and holding the ball up despite getting battered by Mertesacker and Koscielny.

I dunno if anyone else had noticed but in every aerial challenge, the Arsenal player involved seemed to foul the Saints player in the air.  Referee Mason wasn’t giving any of it but I can’t have been the only one who wondered what was about to happen as Giroud launched himself into Shaw in the air, without even looking at where the ball was.  

They really hadn’t had a peep but it would be just like Arsenal to pinch a goal and they nearly did as Koscielny met an Ozil corner and I already had a ‘fuck it’ about to come out of my mouth as King Artur reacted to push it away off the line.  So, half time and a brilliant performance.  The one worry was that it was certain that Arsenal would not be that bad in the second half and we could have really done with a 2-0 cushion. 

The Gooner behind me had been quiet as befits a man whose team have not had a kick so I had no reason to get annoyed with him.  That all changed in the first 6 minutes of the second half.  We actually started again quite well and Shaw broke down the left and his cross missed everyone and ended up over on the Arsenal left.  Three passes later and Cazorla has crossed into the vacant left back area.  J-Rod has got back but he waited for the ball allowing Sagna to get ahead of him and cross into the middle where Giroud cleverly turned it in.  Shit!

Next attack and it all went to shit as Ozil ran down our left, crossed into the middle and Cazorla picked it up before slicing a shot off his left boot into the bottom corner.  King Artur may feel that he should have stopped that one but fuck, 2-1 down and I have a Gooner behind me who can’t keep his gob shut who I desperately want to tell to shut the fuck up.  I give him the death stare and hope he notices but he doesn’t.  Bastard.

I am feeling that we are now going to get battered about 4-1 but before the negative vibe can really take over then J-Rod is straight down the left, cutting out the centre backs with his cross and Adam Lallana steams in to smash it under Chesney to make it 2-2. You’re not fucking singing any more are you sonny!

So, it’s all gone end to end and it continues this way.  Morgan has a curled effort cleared from in front of the keeper and Ozil goes on a mazy past about 4 players before seeing his shot deflected up onto the bar by a sliding Jose Fonte Baby.  There’s a delay as Arsenal continue their ‘foul in the air’ policy with Sagna nutting Shaw and them both needing treatment.

In the 70^th minute, both teams bring on a player from our Academy as JWP comes on for a tired looking Sam Gallagher and Alec Chamberlain comes on for Serge Gnabry who has done nothing either in attack or defence.  Arsenal create a really good chance down our right but luckily it breaks to Monreal who lashes wide of the near post when he really should have fired it at the far post.  Later replays and pictures show why King Artur is a legend as not only has he mastered the star jump but he’s also managed the backward-handstand-back-onto-your-feet gymnastic manoeuvre.

With 10 to go it’s looking like it’s next goal wins and Lallana creates an opportunity with a clever chip over the top.  J-Rod looks favourite for a second but fair play to Chesney who is off his line in a flash and beats him to it.  Morgan then takes the piss in midfield with a run past three players and Flamini can’t handle this and jumps in two footed like a twat.  You can tell by the way that every nearby player reacts that it’s a red card all day long and referee Mason gets it right and off he goes.

Because of the calibre of opposition we are playing I’m still thinking in terms of ‘I’ll be pissed off if we lose to 10 men’ but Wenger is not thinking about winning the game as he settles for a draw with 5 minutes to go and introduces Gibbs in place of Cazorla.  I’m sure that there will now be some sort of internal club investigation as Arsenal now have two English players on the pitch.

It’s all us now but it just won’t go in.  The closest we get top a goal is another run and cross from Shaw which flicks off of Sagna and Chesney claws it out from under the cross bar.  JWP’s corner is met by Jose but his cushioned volley is again turned aside and the final chance wasn’t really a chance as Chambers ball into the box wouldn’t drop for Corky who got crowded out as he tried to dig the ball out.  If he had got a shot away it would have of course ended up in the car park.  Guly got a couple of minutes for the industrious but knackered Steve Davis but not enough time to make a legend of himself and so it ended 2-2.

Hmmmm, how do I feel about that one? Two points dropped or one gained.  Well, you can never really sniff at a point against Arsenal but we really deserved to win tonight.  We dominated the first half and probably just shaded the second.  Arsenal had their purple patch when it looked like they might score loads but other than that there was no portion of the game where they were really on top.  The red card gave us a great chance to win but we couldn’t really create a clear chance to actually win it.  Chesney made a few saves but he would have been disappointed to let any of those in.

There were some great individual performances tonight with all the back 4 having really good games.  Luke Shaw was a bit missing on both of the goals like Calum Chambers was at Sunderland but the way we play relies on the full backs bombing on.  The key is the players who fill in when they do get forward and how they fill the gap.  J-Rod did brilliantly to get back in position for the first goal but he’s no left back and so got shown up horribly when trying to defend against Sagna.  So, both full backs were outstanding going forward and defensively I was particularly impressed with Maya Yoshida who when he keeps his game simple and doesn’t try too hard to get involved with passing the ball forwards, can be a very good defender. 

The best players for me though were the central midfield pairing or Corky and Morgan who were both magnificent who totally eclipsed Flamini and Arteta who at times looked positively pedestrian by comparison.  Whether is was the very large looming shadow of the returning Big Vic on the bench or not that made his play that well or not, Corky proved what a good player he is and he surely cannot be left out if playing at that level.  Sam Gallagher looked like we knew he would – he has great potential but is as raw as you’d expect.  Don’t forget that he’s playing against two experienced international players and he still had his chances.  He’ll know he should have scored from the chance before half time but he’ll learn from that and next time it’ll fly in.  At least he was available and on the pitch in order to get the chance, unlike that prick Osvaldo.  Adam Lallana again proved how good he is with a performance that left Arsenal resorting to the kind of strong-arm tactics that King Hypocrite spends so much time moaning about when it happens against his side.

King Hypocrite acknowledged that we were by far the better side in the first half, praised the Arsenal comeback but then ruined it by trying to defend the tackle by Flamini.  There’s no point in getting annoyed about this really, it’s just sad that he can’t see it or won’t admit it. OK, Morgan didn’t get injured but that’s totally down to luck when you jump in two footed like that.  I’m sure that Wenger remembers Shawcross on Ramsay and Taylor on Eduardo where his player ended up injured due to a reckless challenges.  This is no different aside from luck dictating a better outcome.  I also remember a game against Wenger’s Arsenal in 2004-ish when we lost 2-0 and Chris Marsden Football Genius got sent off in similar fashion when he jumped at Vieira.  On that occasion he didn’t touch the player or the ball as he thought he could jump five yards and only managed three... but he still walked for it.

The general feeling from the Saints camp was one of being disappointed not to win.  It was a great performance overall and there’s no doubt we deserved to get three points though I for one would have snapped your hand off for the draw we got before the game.  The watching England manager must have been delighted.  A recent injury to Glenn Johnson has raised hopes of Nathaniel Clyne playing for England but why not Calum Chambers who was brilliant today.  I bet he’s promoted from the U19s to the U21’s at least for the March friendlies.  Adam Lallana and Luke Shaw must have impressed and is there a better English defensive midfielder than Jack Cork?  Still, I expect he was looking at all the Arsenal players.  I can imagine his notes reading ‘Chamberlain was cwap, Gibbs was wubbish’.

So, from a game where I had low expectations to one where I expect us to win away at Fulham.  There are rumours kicking about that Fulham will have two ‘big’ deadline day signings playing but hopefully they’ll still have Senderos and Sidwell playing.  Maybe Berbatov will bother picking up his man at corners this time but probably not.  Let’s hope he’s got another arrogant amusing t-shirt on this time and that he doesn’t get the chance to show it to anyone.  As for us, well hopefully we’ll have sold The Prick and you never know, we may have brought a new striker in.  If not and Sir Rickie is not fit, I hope Mauricio goes with Big Sam up front again, he tortures Senderos all game and scores a hat-trick in a comprehensive 4-0 win.  Easy.

Come on You Reds!!!

FA Cup 4th Round - Southampton 2 Yeovil 0

One Step Closer.

There once was a time in the recent past, when I had nothing to write about in the buildup to games aside from positive stuff.  After all, it’s been a steady upward progression since this blog started in 2009.  Just recently though, it’s been a whirlwind of shite and this weeks instalment saw a statement from the club that Dani ‘The Prick’ Osvaldo had been banned by 2 weeks by the club for an incident on the training ground.  It turns out that the incident involved him kicking and head-butting Jose Fonte.  Who he nutted is largely irrelevant aside from the fact that the typical Italian coward picked on one of the seemingly more docile members of the squad.  There is one train of thought kicking round that The Prick is trying to engineer a move away from the club and so did it deliberately.  Let’s assume that’s true for a second and say that it therefore stands to reason that he picked Jose out.  Out of the other fit defenders, I’m sure that Jos or Maya would have flattened him and it doesn’t bear thinking about what would have happened if he’s picked on Sir Rickie or King Artur.  I’m sure that Scouse or Polish justice would have prevailed.  I’m only surprised that he didn’t pick on one of the kids.

The message seems to be that The Prick is gone and won’t be welcomed back.  Two weeks neatly takes us past the end of the transfer window and though we may have to take a bit of a financial hit, there will be list of viable clubs looking to do a deal as well as West Ham.  He isn’t going to change, he’s 28 and he’s been drummed out of practically every club he’s ever had which is the only reason we were able to sign him in the first place.  Once he’s gone, there’s no doubt we will find out his side of the story as The Prick won’t be able to keep his mouth shut.  He has severely let everyone down especially Mauricio and there is no excuse.  I’ve seen it written that he may have been frustrated in playing out of position and to this I give the counter argument that this is utter bollocks.  He’s a nutcase, capable of brilliant things like his goal against City but ultimately a fucking waster who thinks he’s better than he is.  Here’s to hoping he moves to a shit club and doesn’t make the Italian World Cup squad.

There was also confirmation this week that Gaston Ramirez and Dejan Lovren would be out for about 2 months each with ankle ligament damage which we all kind of expected.  Hopefully they’ll get back for us in April and the layoff won’t do their individual World Cup chances any harm.

So to today and toYeovil Town at home in the FA Cup 4^th Round.  It’s a nice trip down memory lane to our League 1 days.  Yeovil managed to get promoted via the Playoffs last year and are in the Championship, albeit near the bottom of it.  The biggest shame is that they’ve recently sold Desperate Dan Seaborne as it would have been nice to see him try and prove my assertion that he was barely a footballer, wrong.

There’s always a bit of an intake of breath before the team is announced for an FA Cup match, especially as mention was continually made in the buildup to Arsenal’s visit here on Tuesday night.  As it turns out the line-up wasn’t that bad.  Superkelv in goal, Maya and Jos auditioning to partner Jose on Tuesday and J-Rod given another chance to prove he can lead the line.  There was a welcome (by me anyway) return for Guly on the left with the rest of the team being made up of first team regulars.  Missing were Sir Rickie and King Artur who were both nursing minor knocks and the bench was full of kids with Calum Chambers, Sam Gallagher, Harry Reed, Lloyd Isgrove and Gaz Timebomb all on there.

We made a slowish start and Yeovil seemed quite well set up. They had the standard two banks of four and then Hayter playing off of the obligatory Championship Big Unit in Ismael Miller who looked huge.  Didn’t he used to play for West Brom?  A quick check reveals that he’s now at Nottingham Forest and shock of shocks, he’s on loan. 

Guly has started well for us and his first few touches are received well by the crowd around me anyway (Kingsland centre).  He’s always trying to make things happen but others are letting him down at the moment with Lallana looking off the pace and J-Rod not being strong enough on the ball.  It’s all kind of lame with neither team looking like it has a cutting edge.  As if to illustrate that, our first shot is by Corky and guess where it ended up?

The first serious chance falls to us and J-Rod who moves onto a Morgan pass across the top of the box and sidefoots it straight at the keeper.  My eyes go to the heavens as they seem to do at least once every match at least.  The next chance also falls to J-Rod and this time he leaps superbly to meet Clyne’s hanging cross and thumps a header off of the bar.  Maybe Jay should just head everything.

On 22 minutes, JWP swings over a corner, it clears the main melee of players and a Yeovil defender, for reasons known only to himself, reaches up and handles the ball above his head.  There’s hardly an appeal as it’s that obvious and the referee points to the spot.  The offending player goes to argue with the ref and then the Yoevil skipper wades in and gets booked.  What the fuck are you complaining about guys?  There’s no one near him and he’s stuck his hand above his head and flapped it away.  Call ‘Arry Redknapp to see if he’s put a million on Yeovil conceding a penalty or something.  So, we’ve been given a penalty and Adam Lallana tosses the ball to J-Rod who I assume is going to pass it straight to the goalkeeper.  However, he hands it to Guly who is going to take it.  I can’t say that I’m confident but I’m really hoping for his sake that he scores and thankfully he coolly rolls it in the opposite corner to where Stech has dived.  Guly’s relief is obvious and so is his team-mates delight at the goal.  What’s not to like?

Yeovil seem slightly shellshocked as teams often are after they concede a ridiculous goal and a flowing move ends with Lallana out on the left and his chip across bounces off top of the bar.  The Championship side snap out of it though and create their best chance as Ralls finds space on the left and sends in a low cross. Hayter has got in front of Shaw and gets a toe to it and his effort hits Superkelv who luckily is in the right place.  Back up the other end and a great ball from Corky puts Lallana in possession and he sets it up superbly for J-Rod who has a clear shot from the edge of the box but again he shats it straight at the keeper who doesn’t have to move.  It’s identical to the one he missed at Sunderland when Sir Rickie did the hard work and laid it on a plate, only for J-Rod to casually pass it to the keeper.  Argh! 

The 45 minutes are up and the extra minute has been played but Yeovil break out so the ref plays on.  The ball is eventually crossed over and The Big Unit has a chance at the back post but he leans back and skies it over the bar.  Can we have half time now ref?  Yes we can.

We start the second half like a proverbial bag of shit and Yeovil come very close to scoring as Ayling sidefoots a shot towards the bottom corner by Superkelv defies his 130 years and gets down quickly to push it round the post.

Guly is beginning to tire in what is after all, his first game for nearly a year and he’s hooked on 55 and it’s nice to see Sam Gallagher come on instead of a ‘safe’ replacement like Steven Davis.  No slight on Guly here but with Big Sam up front and J-Rod on the left we immediately look much better balanced.  Talking of forwards, Yeovil are now petering out in that area and Miller is looking seriously slow.  I can’t make up my mind if he’s all muscles (like Radhi Jaidi) or if he’s carrying some serious extra timber (like the Yeovil supporter I saw outside in a 5XL shirt).

Saints are beginning to take over now and the 2^nd and clinching goal only seems like a matter of time away.  JWP smashes one just over from the edge of the box, Stech makes a comfortable save from Clyne as he tries to repeat his goal from the last round and Big Sam gets the ball on the left win, cuts past a defender and hammers it, forcing Stech to parry it out towards the penalty spot and the keeper gets lucky as it falls to no one.

Nathaniel Clyne then gets booked for what I didn’t even think was a foul but it doesn’t matter a few minutes later as Corky drives forward and slides the ball to Big Sam on the right where he bulldozes past the last defender and from a tight angle, fires left footed through the keeper and in.  Great goal and the first of many for the new big man.  All he needs to do now is grow his hair, get some tattoos and glasses and twat a few of his team-mates and he’ll have a good career in the game.  Maybe if this Gallagher was related to Liam or Frank Gallagher then he might be a bit punchy but lets hope he lets his football do the talking.

With 20 minutes to go, Adam Lallana is subbed and Steve Davis comes on with the Irishman’s presence bringing with it a rain and hail storm of biblical proportions for about 10 minutes.  Both teams seemed to struggle with it but it must be easier playing in shocking conditions when you’re 2-0 up than when you’re 2-0 down.

Saints are creating a lot of chances now as the game gets stretched and Yeovil appear to be playing with 7 up front.  From a JWP delivery into the box, big Jos flicks it on, Davis knocks it back across and Big Sam smashes it goalwards where it hits Stech and bounces clear.  From where I was it looked over the line but I expect that goal line technology is switched off for the FA Cup even though it’s certainly available at Premier League grounds.

The monsoon abates and Harrison Reed comes on for JWP.  We must be the only team who brings on an 18 year old and the average age of the team stays the same.  His first contribution is to charge down the right, collect a pass from Steve Davis and then clip a perfect return cross over the centre halves to where Davis saw his volley acrobatically clawed away by Stech.   Big Sam then attempted a ridiculous spin turn in the box and got his shot away but Stech blocked again and the rebound hit Sam and bounced out for a goal kick.  The rest of the game petered out and the final whistle send and the non-green members of the 24,000+ crowd home happy.

It was a pretty comfortable win at the end of it all.  Yeovil had huffed and puffed and had done well in all but the final third where they really barely threatened.  Jos and Maya looked like an accident waiting to happen at all time but weren’t tested enough, even when Yeovil had two 7 footers up front at the end.  Fair play to them though, they came and had a go and their support was magnificent throughout.  I think we’d have probably won anyway but it really helped with that twat gifting us the first goal with the handball for the penalty.  What the hell he was doing I’ll never know.  I hope they manage to achieve their season objective and stay up as there is absolutely nothing to dislike about Yeovil at all.

The post match reaction was predictably all about the two goalscorers.  I’ll have to have a look back through the archives to see why Guly became a scapegoat but it certainly wasn’t for playing like he did today.  He was purposeful and direct in possession and always looking to go forward and make things happen.  He didn’t look interested in sideways and backwards which is a good thing.  Maybe he missed a couple of easy chances way back when in much the same way that J-Rod does in every game.  Whatever the reason it’s clearly ridiculous and if he’s our Pirate replacement for the rest of the season then that’s fine by me. 

The other goalscorer, Sam Gallagher, looks to have something about him.  A good first touch, a touch of skill and a yard of pace and he’s direct as well.  He was looking to make forward runs the whole time and this is something that I hope is not coached out of him in favour of becoming a back-to-goal centre forward.  He had to wait a few minutes for his first touch and when he finally got it out on the left wing, cut in, bang, forcing a save from the keeper – love it!  He got his goal and was unlucky on another couple of occasions.  Once again, if he’s our Pirate replacement for the rest of the season then that’s fine by me.

The other news from the game was the presence of Katharina Liebherr in the Directors Box.  She had obviously decided to show up to see what a meltdown looks like, especially one which she caused herself.  I wonder what she made of it and I wonder what The Sun will make of the picture of this woman who knows nothing about football looking delighted and applauding Sam Gallagher’s goal.

As I write on Sunday, the draw has been made and yet again we’ve got bloody Sunderland away who, as I said last week, are shit but we never beat them.  This is the one boys, this is the one!  The rest of the draw had pitted Man City at home to Chelsea and Arsenal at home to Liverpool so it opens up if we get through as two of the big boys will be history.

Next up we have a nice easy one against Arsenal at home, one of three teams who have a realistic chance of winning the league.  At home we’ve lost to Chelsea and drawn with Man City so The Gunners are going down.  If you’re still looking for a meltdown, follow Piers Morgan on Twitter if we do derail the Arsenal title bid.

 Artur says: Take me on Osvaldo, I Fucking Dare You!

Premier League Match 22 - Sunderland 2 Southampton 2

No, that's not dangerous at all is it?

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past few days you’ll know that Tadanari Lee has left the club and so has a bloke who didn’t play a minute for the club.  It wasn;t that long ago that a Chief Exec leaving a football club would have resulted in maybe one column in a newspaper and that would have been it.  I preferred those days to be quite honest.  When I started this blog it was in the wake of the Rupert Lowe, Michael Wilde, Pinnacle fiasco which nearly brought the club down and I said right at the start that I wanted to write about football and not about off-the-pitch stuff.  By the time that Markus came riding into town that had all got incredibly boring. 

The difference between now and then is that now we are in a good place, moving forwards and everyone with the club at heart wants it to continue.  In 2009 no one would have cared if all our good players were being linked with Chelsea because we didn’t have any and “World Class skills” or otherwise, Ryan Smith was not on Jose Mourinho’s radar.  So, The Don left on Wednesday, Mauricio Pochettino said he was staying on Thursday and on the Friday, Katharina Liebherr echoed the managers statement that no players would be leaving in this transfer window.  Them’s the facts.  The rest is guesswork fed by agenda driven media outlets.

More interesting news this week is that Victor Wanyama is back in training which by my reckoning, gives us the whole first team fit.  Maybe today will be too soon for him but it’ll be nice to have the big man back.  The trip to Sunderland must have seemed like a blessed relief for all to do with the club despite BT Sport choosing this as their Saturday lunch time kick off, once again proving that no one gives a fuck about fans who travel to away games.  The longest trip for any set of away fans in the whole league and it’s moved to an early kick off.  I’m guessing that this wasn’t one of BT Sports’ ‘First Pick’ matches as I reckon that Chelsea v Man United on Sky might just be a more attractive game that this one.

Since we’ve been back in the Premier League, Sunderland have been an uninspiring, dull and mainly crap team but having said all that, we haven’t beaten them and we managed to be the only team who they got a point off of this season when Paolo di Fascist was in charge.  He’s gone now and of course, been replaced by our mate Gus Poyet who as we know, is an objectionable shitbag.  Shitbag or not though, he has done well to give Sunderland a more than decent chance of staying up as they would have been dead and buried by now if Mussolini had stayed.

Our team news contained a few surprises in that Shaw, Sir Rickie, J-Rod and Adam were all in the team and were not part of any meltdown or house of cards and left the club in the last 3 days.  Actually, the only minor surprise was Calum Chambers being preferred to Nathaniel Clyne at right back.  Sunderland, with a semi-final 2^nd leg coming up in three days had left out Fletcher (who is their best striker) and picked Altidore who is not only their worst striker but the worst striker in the entire league.  He’s a wardrobe, big, immobile, heavy and generally, not a footballer.

The start of the game involves us having loads of possession and Sunderland letting us.  It’s a remarkable start for a team in the relegation zone who are at home.  We pass it about for fun, no one closes us down and then for once we actually turn our fast start into a goal as we have a period of pressure around the edge of the box which ends with Morgan nodding the ball down and J-Rod finds time to bring it down, tee himself up and smash it past Mannone on the half volley to give us a 1-0 lead.  A great finish it has to be said.

It’s my first exposure to the BT Sport experience and they have a little inset in the corner of the screen which is a bit like one of those cameras that they have in the monkey houses at Monkey World.  It’s quite amusing as it’s showing Gus Poyet pulling faces and jumping up and down.  He’s not happy and his mood is not improved when Cattermole loses the ball in midfield because he can’t control it, J-Rod nicks it and sets off and Cattermole just trashes him with a cynical kick at the back of his leg.  Referee Chris Foy writes ‘useless apology for a footballer’ in his notebook.

Mannone then joins in the general shambles for Sunderland by scuffing a kick out but his luck is in as it’s fallen to Corky who tries a pot shot at the empty net and you know the rest.  The chances keep coming and we have a shout for a penalty as Jose Fonte goes for the ball but John O’Shea (surprise surprise) wrestles him to the ground.  Jose makes a meal of it which probably ensure he wouldn’t get it but who am I trying to kid – referees don’t give those unless it’s Mark Twattenburg against us in the last minute.

Luke Shaw is the next to try his luck as he cuts in from the left.  His cross flicks a defender and nearly beats Mannone at the near post but it pings off the woodwork for a corner.  Another great chance comes a minute later as more superb build up ends with Sir Rickie steps over a low ball into the box and goes for Morgan’s return ball to him but the big man’s volley really should have found the net rather than flashing a foot wide of the far post. 

Sunderland are getting battered and in their desire to be different to Sky and show the full match day experience, BT Sport fill the screen with a shot of a Sunderland fan who is not impressed with what he’s seeing.  They really could have done with muting the microphones as he screamed “HE’S SHIT’ at the top of his voice.  I don’t know if he was talking about Wes Brown at that point but I expect he was soon after as Sir Rickie caught the orange headed defender napping and pinched the ball of him.  He played a simple ball to J-Rod who just had Mannone to beat from the edge of the box but he sidefooted a really, really, amazingly, abominable shite effort along the ground, just to the keepers left.  If BT Sport had had their fan cam in my house, their coverage would have had to be abandoned.  Fucking rubbish effort.

It should be about 4-0 but it’s only 1-0 and then thank God, the second goal arrived.  Adam Lallana swung over a corner and Dejan Lovren got in front of Wes Orange Head and volley across Mannone and into the far corner to make it 2-0.  Come on! If this is a meltdown and a collapsing house of cards then let’s have some more of it.

I spoke too soon of course because Sunderland mounted an attack for the first time through Adam Johnson who cut inside onto his left foot and curled in a cross which floated over our centre halves and Borini stole in, took a touch and scuffed it past King Artur who got a touch but not enough to keep it out.  For Fucks Sake.  Borini had been the only Sunderland player who had looked even remotely interested in the opening half an hour.  Another fucking loan player, this time from Liverpool.  How the fuck are we only 2-1 in front?

We’re straight back on the attack and Lallana fashions a chance which is blocked and J-Rod can’t get the rebound on target.  The most surprising development of the first half was when Altidore controlled a ball and laid it off to one of his own players.  There were ironic cheers from the Mackem faithful which doesn’t help but you can understand it as he really is shit.  As the half wound down there was another incident worth mentioning as the ball ran into the technical area.  It was a Sunderland throw and Mauricio just handed the ball to Bardsley so he could get on with it.  Reverse that for a minute and imagine what Poyet would have done.

We have a final chance to re-establish the two goal lead as Cattermole again does what he does best and fouls Steven Davis nowhere near the ball.  It’s right of centre and about 30 yards out and Sir Rickie’s effort is well hit and going in but Mannone gets across well enough to keep it out.  Half time and it is quite staggering that we are only one in front.  There is no way that Sunderland can possibly be as bad in the second half.

Predictably we don’t start the second half too well and we are grateful to Larsson for butchering a chnce when he messed up a simple ball into the path of Johnson.  Sunderland look woeful at the back when we get on the attack though and Shaw is allowed to run the entire length of the pitch before hitting a shot at Mannone which the swallows up easily enough.  It’s end to end stuff now and Sunderland win a free kick, Bardsley takes it quickly and Borini fires wide.  Chris Foy then pisses us all off by allowing them another go as he wasn’t ready, the tosser.  They cocked it up – tough shit!

We’re still looking decent going forward though and a move started by Chambers ends with the right back hammering in a shot from distance but once again it’s straight at Mannone and he saves easily.  Another fast paced passing moves sees the ball travel in between the front three and J-Rod again fails to test Mannone with another daisy cutter from the edge of the box.

There’s more simple save practice for the keeper as Jose heads straight at him from a corner and the Shaw shoots straight at him after a move which was started by Chambers barging over a Sunderland player.  Poyet has seen enough and replaces the ponderous Larsson and Cattermole with Colback and Gardner who would at least add some running and effort.  Sunderland nearly equalized straight away as Borini fastened on to a through ball and slotted under King Artur but the flag was up before I started swearing.  Altidore then forgets he’s a footballer which is understandable and decides he’s an all in wrestler and he wraps his arms around Chambers and throws him to the ground.

And then it happened as Chambers got caught upfield and Ki charged forward and the ball was easily worked across to Johnson who took on Shaw on the outside who didn’t get tight enough and then lashed it at the near top corner.  King Artur really should have saved it but he got a dose of the chocolate wrists and allowed it to find the near top corner.  I had a massive deflating feeling of “we’re going to fucking lose this now”.  It was like the Villa home game all over again.

Mauricio decided what was needed was Gaston Ramirez who he surprisingly brought on without taking Corky off.  Instead it was Lallana who departed.  Cue more Sunderland pressure as Gardner got a shot away from the edge of the box which The King did well to save before distinguishing himself once more as the corner broker to Fletcher (who had come on for the useless American lump) and a star jump block averted the danger.  Oh shit, something else has gone wrong as Artur is limping and Super Kelvin Davis (as no one up here who remembers his one season and 120 goals conceded for Sunderland calls him) is warming up.

Ki, who has already been booked then does a Cattermole and loses the ball with poor control and grabs Gaston and spins him round.  Gaston keeps going but surely when this move ends, the ref is going to go back and give Ki a second yellow.  On goes Gaston past Brown and when he’s right on the edge of the box and about to shoot, Brown tackles him and absolutely poleaxes him.  Surely that’s a foul and a red card isn’t it ref?  Oh no, on we go and Sunderland break whilst Gaston is stricken in the penalty area.  The ball goes wide right, Dejan slides in too try and clear and loses it to Gardner who he tries to hack over but succeeds only in injuring himself.  Carnage.  Two stretchers later and Yoshida and JWP are on.  Firstly, Brown does get a touch on the ball but he’s landed high on Gaston’s ankle and it really looks like a broken leg from the replay.  It’s a fucking dangerous tackle however you look at it and in a day and age where pretty much everything is given, I can’t believe the ref has left it, the fucking clown.  Dejan has done himself I’m afraid but if the ref does his job and either gives the free kick or stops the game because there’s a bad injury then the second injury doesn’t happen.  Needless to say, Ki didn’t get a second yellow.

Six minutes of injury time are added and you can tell the ref knows he’s fucked up from the next decision when JWP gets given a free kick for nothing.  We waste the free kick, survive one last Sunderland corner and that’s that.  On the way from the ground to the airport, the team coach must have ran over 13 black cats.  Ironic considering who we were playing.

The only way this game could have been any more annoying is if we’d managed to lose.  From the moment I stopped celebrating Dejan’s goal, my mood just got darker and darker as we missed chance after chance and let Sunderland off the hook.  Then at the end we got the double injury blow and I was boiling over.  A lot of this of course is our own fault but it’s another game where we really didn’t get the rub of the green from the referee or from whoever was handing out good fortune. For half an hour we were brilliant and managed to turn our dominance into goals and at 2-0 we were cruising.  A minute later we were not cruising because we’d let Sunderland score with their first attack.  From then until Sunderland’s equalizer we missed chance after chance to kill it off and then looked more likely to lose it as we collectively seemed to get knackered at the end.  It has to be said that Poyet’s changes in midfield stopped Corky having the freedom of the park and it was amore even game from then on in.

I’d have taken a draw at the start though so at least we have that positive to take out of it.  Mauricio seemed philosophical about the result and more worried about the injuries as you would be when one player leaves needing oxygen and the other has his foot bent at 90 degrees to his shin.

In today’s climate I cannot believe that Brown wasn’t penalised for the tackle on Gaston.  Yes he’s just about won the ball but he’s wiped Gaston out as his foot has landed on Gaston’s ankle.  Apologists have said that it was only a one footed challenge etc and that’s true but it’s a high one.  If it was along the ground like it’s supposed to be then he doesn’t land on the ankle does he?  How is that tackle not dangerous?  So, we have two bad injuries and true to form, Poyet is moaning that it robbed his team of momentum.  What an odious shit he is.  For no other reason other than him, I really hope Sunderland get relegated.  I’ve got nothing against the fans or the club but I want Poyet to fail and fail horribly.  I will even be supporting Man United in the League Cup Semi Final 2^nd Leg.  I bet Sunderland get through.

The wasteful finishing does my head in.  J-Rod scored a great goal and spent the rest of the game reverting to type and giving the keeper practice.  The worst miss was the one where Sir Rickie had robbed Brown and teed it up on a plate and he just shat it straight to the keeper.  Sir Rickie should have scored with the volley after the 1-2 and there were so many other efforts that just gave Mannone catching practice.  The stats will say he made 15 saves or whatever but how easy was it for him?  The other key point was conceding from Sunderland’s first attack when we were still celebrating our second goal.  Half time at 2-0 and they would never have come back.  There were some good performances from Jack Cork in particular which will make it interesting when Big Vic returns.  The big man will and should walk straight back into the side and you have to think that it will be Corky who drops out but I’d make a case for him to play further forward as an option for Steven Davis or JWP.   Luke Shaw and Calum Chambers were unplayable at times but both full backs however let themselves down a bit on the second goal as Chambers was caught miles upfield as they broke and Shaw didn’t get near Johnson as he shot.  To be honest, Clyne would be at right back in my team every time at the moment as he’s a better defender and Danny Fox... nah.

The front three of Sir Rickie, Adam and J-Rod all played well I thought aside from the aforementioned poor finishing.  Some of the link up play was excellent and on another day we would have scored 6.  I find it quite depressing to read all the stuff slagging off Sir Rickie in particular as it seems like a bad 20 minutes at the end of the game when the whole team is struggling is enough to undo 100 goals over four years in the eyes of many.  Does the fault lie with the big man though? The whole point of a squad is to have players to come in when they are needed.  The player who should come in when Sir Rickie is struggling and maybe needs a rest is The Argie-Italian Rock ‘n’ Roll Pirate but since he first appeared – he’s been available for less than half the games due to injury and bollock kicking.  He needs to start contributing and all will be better off for it.

Post match we had more media speculation along the lines of Katharina wants to sell the club, Cortese Chinese Wang Consortium to buy it, Katharina to appoint new CEO from Newcastle / Liverpool or more likely, Blackburn.  Luke Shaw is still off to Chelsea and Sir Rickie is still off to West Ham.  I guess this will all continue for ages and certainly until our next game which is at home to Yeovil in the FA Cup on Saturday.  The fifth round beckons if we do a professional job.  Let’s go to work.

The Don Has Left the Building. Now What?

The King is Dead....

Like this time last year, I embark on a piece without knowing how it will turn out….

Fuck it.

Last year we bought Vegard Forren to cover up the news that Nigel Adkins had been sacked and this year we release Tadanari Lee to deflect from the news that The Don, Nicola Cortese has left.  Our diversionary tactics are not quite up to scratch are they?

So, just when you thought it was going to be a never ending rise to our rightful position of Champions of the World, we get the news that Nicola Cortese wasn’t bluffing this time and has left the building.  Once again, fuck it ….. and breathe!

In a short statement, Katherina Liebherr announced she was taking over the day to day running of the club and that she wanted The Don to stay.  That puts a slightly unexpected slant on it straight away as in the summer we were fed stories of discontent.  Maybe she wanted him to stay as she couldn’t be bothered with running a football club.  More likely is that there’s a clash over business strategy as she can’t have failed to be impressed by a man who advised her father to buy something for £14 million and make it worth around £150 million in four and a half years.  We will see.

The Don has been a success on a massive scale.  Saved the club and League One Minus 10 (what a catchy phrase that is !!!) to 9^th in the Premier League in four and a half years.  He of course advised that Markus Liebherr purchased the club and was CEO on his behalf, seen as Mr Nasty in contrast to Markus’ Mr Nice.  When Markus died, there was a question mark over how things were going to continue but Nicola Cortese picked up the ball and with the backing of the Liebherr estate, ran with it and oversaw us getting promoted twice in two seasons and back into the Premier League.  He said he’d do that in five years but did it in three.  Away from the first team we’ve seen the Staplewood training ground be totally revamped, Grade A Academy status earned and that Academy bring things full circle by providing players for the first team.  He simply cannot be knocked for his achievements which have put the club on the map once more.  Of course with all successful people, there are casualties and there have been many who have fallen foul of him and I’ve heard stories of companies who just wouldn’t deal with him.  As far as I know, the spat with the Daily Echo is still going on for example.  It’s true in all walk of life though that you will be forgiven your methods if you are ultimately successful and he has been. 

Personally I liked the fact that he did things his way and didn’t give a shit what many people thought.  He didn’t like the media, he didn’t like agents, he didn’t like freeloaders and he did things on his terms.  He didn’t have a football background but he was successful in the football industry.  Many struggle when someone comes in from outside football’s protective bubble and shakes things up.  Some of his methods seemed heavy handed and I’m sure that there are many who won’t be sorry to see him gone.  Careful what you wish for.  For me he’s been fantastic for my football club and I’d like to place on record my gratitude for what he’s achieved and also, all the mileage I got out of horses head jokes.

The first inclination that most people seem to have when a successful person leaves a post is that everything will now die on its arse.  Sure, this rocks the boat and it rocks it a lot but is the boat merely rocking or is the boat about to develop a Titanic-iceberg-sized hole beneath the water line.  We and the media in particular love an impending disaster of apocalyptic proportions.  When there was the change of manager with Nigel Adkins last year, everyone thought that everything would implode and we would slide down the league and get relegated.  It didn’t exactly happen like that and you could tell it wouldn’t go that way from the first match of Mauricio’s reign when we put in a really decent performance against Everton at SMS.  This time around there is an assumption, especially in my favourite sections of society – the media and Pompey fans, that it will all come crashing down, every player will leave and we won’t get another point all season.  Hang on a minute, surely a manager leaving will have more effect on a team than a CEO.  The tone of this article might be a bit different if I have to rewrite it if Mauricio leaves.

All fans care about it what happens now.  There has been talk of Cortese coming back with some rich associates for a takeover which I would say is unlikely in the extreme.  Before we start worrying about that though, we have the immediate issue of Mauricio Pochettino and the players during this transfer window.  The media have of course been all over the quote from Mauricio from the summer where he said that he couldn’t see himself at Saints if Cortese wasn’t and they will be longing for him to quit.  There are also the quotes from the players like Morgan Schneiderlin and Luke Shaw who have stated their support for Cortese.  I have always had an element of cynicism about those quotes (and those made by other players) as if the players concerned had been advised to say them, especially when they made them during The Don’s carefully orchestrated media campaign in the summer when he was trying to secure funds for the future from the Liebherr family.  If you take those players as an example, Morgan was brought to the club before Cortese and Luke has been at the club since he was 8 which pre-dates Cortese by 5 years. I have no doubt that they do have an affinity with the man who has overseen their emergence as Premier League footballers and rewarded them very well financially but in my opinion – if you angle for a transfer because a CEO leaves then that’s a bit odd.  I can understand wanting to leave if a manager leaves (which they regularly do of course) which makes it vital that if we can, we keep Mauricio Pochettino and all the coaches which I’m sure Katherina will try and do.  Regardless of what The Don said regarding the manager being a Department Head, I’m of the opinion that at a football club, the First team manager is the most important person there is.

So, what’s the actual story of his departure?  There have been stories that The Don actually resigned in the summer and was working his notice period.  If that’s true then I find it had to believe that Mauricio didn’t know this was the case.  If this was the case however then I imagine that Mauricio is feeling very let down by Cortese if he wasn’t told until today.  The other story was that Cortese has tried to persuade Mauricio to stay on as manager.  This gave rise to the ‘he’s coming back’ theory.  It goes without saying that we need this excellent manager to stay and continue his work.

As fans we have a job to do which is of course to support the club.  I admit I threw my toys out a bit when Nigel Adkins left and that didn’t turn out too badly did it?  My over-reaction is there for all to see on twitter if you want to look it up.  Consequently, I’m not going overboard about this – at least until it plays out and we hear the intentions of the new owner, what the manager and coaching staff are up to and get to January 31^st and the transfer window closes.  When Adkins left, we as fans were brilliant at the next game and there was 100% support for the team.  Anyone remember the white hankie protest?  No, me neither.  In comparison, aside from the inevitable few keyboard warriors, I hope we at least allow Katharina Liebherr the chance to show her colours and that people remember that everything Nicola Cortese achieved would not have been possible without the financial backing from her family.

Prepare for a bullshit maelstrom for the next couple of weeks in the media but whatever happens, whoever comes in and whoever leaves – it’s the club that remains, that’s what you support and that’s the important thing.  One thing that Ted Bates, Lawrie Mac, Matt le Tiss, Mick Channon, Markus Liebherr and Nicola Cortese have in common is that they are all Saints heroes or legends, all considered irreplaceable at one time or another and for varying reasons, none of them are involved with the club any more.  We move on.

COYR.

Premier League Match 21 - Southampton 1 West Bromwich Albion 0

Luckily, Artur woke up for the 89th Minute.

I had a good feeling as I went along to St.Mary’s for the home game against West Bromwich Albion.  There were reports that our injured players were returning soon and also, due to the lack to 90mph winds and hammering rain, I could walk across the Itchen Bridge without fear of taking off and ending up in the water.  Occasionally I used to get a bus across but you can’t now because a combination of ‘correct change only’ unmanned toll booth at one end and a closed road off the roundabout at the other end means the traffic doesn’t move so getting a bus is somewhat pointless.  Anyway, back to the football.

West Brom recently sacked Steve Clarke and have played four games with a caretaker manager called Keith Downing.  Their results have been largely spun as being positive and an unbeaten run but in reality it’s been four games against teams who will be near the bottom and they’ve managed just one win.  In that time they also got dumped out of the FA Cup at home by Palace so not all as good as it seems.  There is a feeling in our camp of a new start after recent troubles and so I’m very positive about today.  The Baggies have just appointed a new manger called Pepe Mel who is Spanish and who hopefully won’t speak English in his press conferences but he’s in the stands today and will take over post-match.

The team news brings great joy in that Guly do Prado is fit again and on the bench.  Guly lovers will have to forgive me a bit of sarcasm as his inclusion on the bench merely made me raise an eyebrow whereas the news that King Artur was back had me and my son fist bumping and high fiving as we took our seats.  My daughter (drafted into the team today in place of my holidaying Dad) wondered what on earth we were doing.  So, the King is back, so is Nathaniel Clyne and aside from Big Vic and his hairline fracture and The Pirate and his Geordie Bollock kicking induced suspension, we have all out major players available.

West Brom have Liam Ridgewell in the team yet again proving that ability needn’t always be a pre-requisite for being a Premier League footballer.  It must be because he’s left footed and their comparative scarcity has made his career as he really is shite.  They have Anelka up front who must be about 45 now along with Shane Long who I watch in the warm up just to see if he practices diving around and whingeing as part of his pre-match routine.  I’ve liked the look of Amalfitano this season and always thought Chris Brunt was a decent player.

Earlier on this season West Brom went to the FA and bitched about penalty decisions that went against them in the light of them getting a shocker given against them at Chelsea.  I didn’t have much sympathy as they also bitched about the one we got at the Hawthorns which was as clear cut as you could ever see.  We ourselves of course, complained about this sort of thing as well but only about one referee, the legendary (in his own mind) Mr Twattenburg but it’s odd that they got an apology from the referees chief and we basically got told to fuck off and get on with it.  That particular episode ended this week as we were told once again that Twattenburg had no case to answer so we may well get the useless attention seeking wiggy twat to referee us pretty soon.  One rule for Everton who dodged him for 6 years, one rule for us.  Ironically, refereeing for us today is Howard Webb who was responsible for our worst (non) decision of the season so far up at Norwich when he deemed that playing basketball in the penalty area was perfectly acceptable.

Away we go and Siants are in possession and start knocking it around in the usual fashion.  The first time West Brom touch it is when a pass out to Clyne is misplaced straight to Ridgewell but instead of controlling it and passing it like any normal footballer would, he gets his feet mixed up and shins it out for a throw with no one near him.  Another misplaced pass results in a goal kick and hang on a minute – Foster is time wasting.  He’s pissing about and re-spotting the ball, addressing it and then stopping.  What a fucking wanker.  Webb has noticed and waves him to get on with it which he eventually does.  I’m just dumbstruck – it’s 0-0 and there are 3 minutes gone.

West Brom are getting as many men as they can behind the ball and once again we have opposition who are playing like the League 1 sides we played a few years back who parked the bus and played for a 0-0.  We’re not really on our game so their packed defence is not being tested by our continual giving away of the ball.  The chances come but none are really testing the time waster in the Baggies goal.  Lallana picks up a ball from Morgan on the edge of the box, spin turns to make a yard and sidefoots it straight to the time waster.

The next quarter of an hour saw a few more hit and hopes which didn’t threaten to goal by varying wide margins.  Firstly Sir Rickie shanks a left footed volley across the goal and wide.  Then Steve Davis picked up a shite clearance and miscued a long range effort into the Northam.  Corky was up next and the winning seat in the Jack Cork ‘Where will the ball land’ competition was Block 41, Row Z, Seat 823.

West Brom manage to stop time wasting for long enough to get in our half and win a free kick as Morgan chops down Anelka.  Steven Reid lines up the free kick from 30 yards but his effort is still rising as it lands in the Chapel Stand.  Shane Long has been quiet due to a lack of possession but he gets away down the right and Dejan goes over and launches him.  It’s a foul but it’s not that bad but Long arches his back and makes a big squealy noise and so the book comes out.  He tries to stand up but falls to the floor again and writhes around a bit more.  The West Brom physio is ambling around the back of the goal either because he knows Long is a faker or because he’s trying to waste time but the ‘injured’ party if off the pitch so they have to get on with it.  Morrison slings in the free kick, King Artur punches and danger averted.

Normal service is resumed with Saints trying to find an opening and Davis chips one into Sir Rickie who from the left hand side of the penalty area, tries to take the net off with a left footed volley but it flies over the bar.  There are 44 minutes gone and the ball boy retrieves the ball from the empty seats between the two sets of fans behind the goal and throws it straight to Foster who unbelievably just kicks it back into the empty seats.  Webb has seen it again but again does nothing apart from standing on half way and gesticulating for him to get on with it.  If I was the ball boy I would definitely have called Foster a choice 4 letter expletive that rhymes with ‘runt’.

The half end with J-Rod smashing one over the bar and so frustratingly, it’s still 0-0.  Half time is spent telling my daughter that it’s all her fault as the last game she saw was West Ham at home which was also 0-0.  Joking aside, we need to do more or this is going to be a repeat.

The second half starts in much the same way as the first – we’ve got the ball and West Brom are all behind it.  Five minutes in and Mulumbu lets the ball roll across him and gets burgled by J-Rod who runs headlong at the goal, gets in range and flashes a shot wide.  The general ‘disrupt at all costs’ approach of the midlanders is illustrated when Clyne gets away from Anelka who brings him down by throwing his zimmer frame in front of him.  Long then uses more conventional methods to hack down Luke Shaw.  There’s no booking from Webb though, just arm-waving childish petulance from Long who is just a wanker.  You’ve hacked him over, you’re nowhere near the ball, just get on with it.  Still smarting from having his tantrum, Long then lunged into Morgan and got the booking he deserved, just for being a complete knob really.

On the hour mark, Mauricio goes for it and removes Corky, despite him once again not being the most deserving candidate for substitution and throws on Gaston Ramirez who has some sort of plaitted tribute to Stevie Wonder on his head.  One can only imagine the banter in training when he turned up with cornrows on his head.  I have my usual fear or a midfield without a holding player but for now, Gaston is looking good as he goes on a mazy across the pitch and is predictably hacked down by Anelka.  The Uruguayan fancies it though and takes the free kick ahead of Sir Rickie and his effort flies over the wall but straight at Foster. 

And then, a moment of quality.  The ball is over with Shaw on the left and is worked back inside to Davis, then Clyne and eventually over to Gaston on the right.  He played a wonderful first time ball inside to Lallana who found himself completely unmarked and he placed it under the time wasting bastard to put us 1-0 up.  Foster then went and got the ball out of the net pretty quickly – the wanker!

West Brom are no longer time wasting and are actually committing players forward but one thing doesn’t change as Lallana breaks away and he his cynically halted by Olsson’s high boot in the midriff for which he gets rightly booked.  From here on in though, the folly of taking Cork off is now apparent as the Baggies are starting to play and put us under pressure and we have no bite in our midfield.  As we reach the last 10 minutes, West Brom send on Berahino, Gera and Vydra (2 strikers and a midfielder) and go for it.  We respond by removing Adam Lallana and bringing on JWP who takes station out on the left.

We were under pressure but not looking particularly threatened until the 89^th minute when my mate Ridgewell got down the left and crossed it Long (it must have been an accident) who was 6 yards out and all on his own.  His flicked and lazy sidefooted effort was kicked away by the large starfish shaped Polish legend in our Goal.  All Hail The King!

We managed a last minute breakaway as Gaston and his hair got forward and hit a shot straight to Foster who had somehow lost his need to waste time and launched it forwards.  The highlight of the game was upon us as Guly came on for J-Rod who had finally managed to get himself substituted after his third poor game in a row.  West Brom had one more free kick for a foul by Shaw but Morrison’s ball in was pushed clear by King Artur and so we managed to secure a thoroughly deserved victory with the final irony being Foster showing enough urgency to be roaming around in our penalty area.  Tosser.

I don’t really care that West Brom dominated the last ten minutes and nearly nicked a point.  Any team that wastes time from the 3^rd minute onwards, deserves to get fuck all out of the game aside from the record for being the earliest that any team has started time wasting.  I’ve never seen anything so pathetic in my life.  Last year, the Baggies came down here, played three up front all game and just attacked for 90 minutes and dicked us 3-0.  Compare that to this year.  I know it’s all about winning but for fucks sake, people are paying to watch 90 minutes of football and be entertained.  In my opinion, Webb should have booked Ben Foster after 3 minutes and told him that if he did it again then he was getting a second yellow and goodbye.  Job done, game flows.  How he didn’t book him when he kicked the ball back into the empty seats just before half time is beyond me.  Pepe Mel apparently has a reputation for playing open attacking positive football.  I wonder how much he enjoyed watching that from his new team.

In truth, this was a not a great game – in fact it was the wrong side of total gash.  We gave the ball away a lot when we tried to attack which was partly down to the massed defence and midfield but some of our passing and (lack of) movement was very poor.  Corky and Davis gave the ball away a lot today whilst in front of them, Sir Rickie seemed to struggle against the behemoth defenders Olsson and McAuley and J-Rod produced another poor game.  He had a great game at Cardiff and since then, not very much at all.  The defence was back to the first choice and we of course looked more solid and of course, the King was back.  Anyone who doubts how much of a problem having a dodgy keeper causes should now be more enlightened after watching today and the Gazza & Kelvin ‘How to be a League 1 Keeper’ shambles of the past few weeks.  “All the great teams start with a great goalkeeper” – who said that?  It wasn’t me it was Brian Clough who was talking about Peter Shilton at the time.  He knew what he was talking about.

We are still 9^th in the league and on the face of it, it looks like we’re in a competition for 8^th place with Newcastle and that’s about it.  I can’t honestly see us catching Man United who are 7^th and I can’t see Swansea, Stoke or Villa or anyone else who is in the bottom half getting near us.  Of course, there are loads of games to go but it will be interesting to see if this influences both our attitude in this January transfer window and our attitude to the FA Cup.  Yeovil is the next home game but before that we have a trip to the Stadium of Light to play against Sunderland who are showing signs of life (4-1 win at Fulham today) but also have a tendency to be shite under our favourite small time dressing room floor shitter Gus Poyet.  It would be nice to give it a big ‘can you keep up’ next week.  Come on You Reds.

FA Cup 3rd Round - Southampton 4 Burnley 3

It's time for these Pictures Again.

I said that I wasn’t going to go to the FA Cup 3^rd Round match against Burnley but in the end I changed my mind at the last minute.  This was basically because I am back to work on Monday and so the grind begins again... why not search down the back of the sofa for twenty quid to watch the mighty SFC?  I have to admit that part of the attraction of this game was to be playing a proper football club with proper fans who aren’t a bunch of Premiership only plastic wankers.  The ‘only come for the Chelsea’ chants and the 70^th minute exodus of our own supporters on New Years Day had got to me a bit I have to admit.

Burnley ‘lost’ Moaning Eddie Howe last season and now have Sean Dyche in charge who has had them at the top of the Championship all season.  They are currently in 2^nd place behind ex-Saints manager Nigel Pearson’s Leicester but in front of ex-Saints manager and Ballbag stunt double, Honest ‘Arry Redknapp at QPR who wear blue and white hoops like a stereotypical thief.  Burnley have scored lots of goals this season, mainly through two Saints fans in Sam Vokes and Danny Ings.  For this reason alone we should hope they get promoted.  Other links between the clubs are of course J-Rod who we signed from them for £7m and Jack Cork who was on loan there once upon a time when Chelsea were trying to ruin him.  Also, Danny Fox played for them as well but we’re not sentimental enough to give him a game because of that.  We are taking the FA Cup seriously after all, aren’t we?

On the face of it we’ve named quite a strong team.  The centre back pairing is Maya and Big Jos and both Adam Lallana and ironically J-Rod are on the bench.  Sir Rickie is up front, ably supported by Gaston, JWP and Steve Davis.  The Pirate is nowhere to be seen because he got a 3 match ban for the fracas at Newcastle where it is alleged he kicked someone in the bollocks (rumour!). 

Our other news is of course Twattenburgate.  The club put in a complaint to the PGMOL (the faceless group who deal with everything about referees who are totally unaccountable) about the way the Twatt spoke to Adam Lallana in the wake of the non-penalty at the end of the Everton game.   Our complaint got thrown out and we were made to look as bad as West Brom did earlier in the season.  What we should have done is complained because he’s a shit referee who never gives us anything.  We have refused to accept the verdict that the Twatt did nothing wrong and have asked for him not to referee any of our games in the future until it’s sorted.  This I think was what we wanted all along.  In view of the Chelsea incident with Twattenburg last year, I expect this caused him a bit of discomfort and I hope it fucking did.  If he hadn’t have bottled giving a blatant penalty because he was on his best behaviour for Everton then none of this would have happened.

To today and in front of a half full SMS, Burnley have the first effort on goal as Arfield fires just over.  The next 20 minutes or so sees the game struggling to get going as there’s not much excitement and it all seems half paced.  Was this what the Championship was like or is this what you get with a half full stadium?  Burnley seemed to be giving us too much respect and we weren’t good enough to take advantage.  Gaston was trying hard to get involved but we were giving the ball away lots before we got up the pitch with Maya Yoshida being the main culprit but others such as Corky and Sir Rickie weren’t really at the races either.

Out of nothing really, Corky wins the ball and plays it into Steve Davis who puts just the correct amount of side on the ball to feed Clyne on the right hand side of the box.  His first touch made the ball sit up and his second touch smashed it into the net on the volley.  A goal from a very unexpected source and a run to the Northam End and a goal celebration dance routine which he obviously hasn’t practiced much.  There then followed 5 minutes of the crowd shouting ‘shooooot’ every time he got the ball which when you are running towards your own goal with a forward up your arse is not the best advice.

Then lightning struck for the second time but from a more expected source this time.  Gaston fed Steve Davis who teed up Sir Rickie who advanced a pace and then smashed it into the top corner as casually as you like from the best part of 25 yards.  I felt a bit sorry for the keeper there as he’d had no chance with either of those.  It should be 3-0 straight afterwards as Gaston’s ball puts Sir Rickie in on goal but he craps this one over the bar when it was a much easier chance than the last one.  To complete an eventful 10 minutes for the big man, he then has to go off as he’s injured his hip.  At 2-0 up against a Championship side, I expected Sam Gallagher to come on but it’s J-Rod of course as we’re playing his former club.  It seems an odd move as we have just two other senior forwards – one has just come off injured and one has just kicked someone in the bollocks and got banned.

We gift Burnley a chance to get a goal back before half time as JWP tries to bring down a ball on the edge of the box and clatters a forward in the process.  There is a time when you should just smash it up the pitch but we weren’t punished as Trippier hit one of the worst free-kicks I’ve ever seen and hit it at shin height into the wall.  Luke Shaw has our final effort of the half but he’s moving into Jack Cork never score territory now as his near post effort is tipped round the post by a keeper who must have been pleased to actually see one.  Half time and 2-0 and comfortable as you like.

The second half starts like it’s going to be a pretty tame affair but that all changes after five minutes as Ings finds space on the right and crosses for Vokes to get in and flick a free header into the net.  Game on I guess and the game is well and truly on in another five minutes as Big Jos allows a big punt forwards to bounce and once it has he has to turn and chase after Ings who has the run on him.  As Jos turns as quickly as an oil tanker in dry dock, there’s only one winner and Ings gets to the ball and cuts in.  It gets worse for us as Not-so-Superkelv gets a bout of Nearpostitis and dives towards the penalty spot, leaving Ings with the simple task of knocking it past him and in at the near post to make it 2-2.  Between Jos and Kelvin it was a totally horrific goal to concede.  Big Jos let it bounce and was level with the forward who is much quicker than him and then Kelvin made it easy for him.  I’d like to think that Dejan would have headed it and King Artur would have been throwing the big star jump as Ings got near and there would have been no gaps for him to aim at.

We’re all over the place now and Vokes very nearly puts Burnley in front but his half volley from about 15 yards is superbly saved one handed by Superkelv who at least partly redeemed himself.  We appear to have nothing in midfield or up front but Mauricio’s hand was forced as Gaston pulled up and Adam Lallana was sent on to try and sort it all out.

The shift in momentum is immediate as we get the ball down and start playing again, culminating in J-Rod firing straight at the keeper.  The passing is back and J-Rod slides JWP through on goal.  He seems to be held back but then brings down a defender as the keeper blocks it at his feet.  It’s bizarre as everyone seems to stop except for J-Rod who sticks the rebound in the net and no one really knows what’s happened with Adam Lallana looking the wrong way as J-Rod knocks it in.  The ref doesn’t make it clear and J-Rod doesn’t celebrate the goal as it’s against his former club which adds to the confusion but the goal is given and we’re back in front again.

So Burnley – nice fight back but you’re behind again now, please read the script and go away.  From their next attack, Ings smashes in another shot which beats Superkelv and pings off the post and away.  They’re not going to give up are they?  Maybe now they will as Superkelv launches one forward, J-Rod heads it on to Adam who runs at the defence and smashes one in the bottom corner from 25 yards with his left foot.  Great goal....4-2...  and relax!

A very damning indictment of Big Jos was up next as at 4-2 up against a Championship side, Mauricio decided he couldn’t risk leaving him on and so rather than give Harry Reed or Sam Gallagher some minutes, he hooked Jos and sent on Jose Fonte to protect the lead.  Just when I thought it would all settle down and peter out, Ings takes on Shaw and gets away a shot which is pushed wide by Superkelv for a corner.  The corner is swung in and everyone misses it expect Long who gets his knee on it down and it bounces down and kind of loops at 2mph over Not-so-Superkelv who appears to be digging for truffles in the goalmouth.  Bloody hell – again!

Out tactical masterplan for the last 3 minutes plus injury time is to keep possession which for two and half minutes goes really well as Burnley struggle to get a touch.  You knew what was coming though as Clyne and Davis got too close and screwed it up, one pass and Vokes was in on goal but luckily he overran the ball a bit and didn’t get a clean shot away.  More possession, two minutes go by and the final whistle blows.  Phew!

Overall this is probably a good result for everybody.  We won and got through and so give ourselves a bit of confidence, Burnley lost but put up a really decent showing and they can take that into the more important battle for promotion which they have over the next five months and no one wanted a draw.  It was an odd game as it looked like we would win 5-0 at the break but within 10 minutes we looked like we’d lose only for it to swing again.  For me, Sir Rickie going off was a contributory factor to the initial turnaround.  Though he wasn’t having the best of games, him going off meant we lost any foothold up front and until Adam Lallana came on we really struggled going forward.  J-Rod came good in the end with a goal and an assist but until Adam came on he once again gave weight to the theory that he is not a man to lead the line.  The centre halves proved what we know already in that Maya is a decent defender in the main but his distribution is suspect to say the least and that Big Jos is really struggling.  When he starts making mistakes he seems to let it bother him and he just keeps on getting worse, reminding me of Dan Harding from a couple of years back.  Another player who has gone off the boil is JWP but of course that can be put down the natural variations in form that can affect 18/19 year olds.  Oh yes… and we need King Artur back, big time.  The bottom line is that we won which is all that matters in the Cup and it's nice that we got 4 goals, scored by 4 different English players.

I spent the first half thinking that the Championship must be really really shite this year if Burnley are in the top 2 but in the second half they proved what they are about and did really well.  Like I said at the start, a proper club with proper fans it would be fantastic if they went up and those shits at QPR did not.  The manager should be congratulated as well.  It would have been easy for him to pack the midfield and leave one of his main strikers out but fair play to him, he played them both and went for it and it nearly worked.

As I write we have just come out of the hat in the 4^th Round draw and we’ve got Yeovil at home who are at the other end of the Championship and they contain tow of our former players in Sam Hoskins and desperate Dan Seaborne who probably won’t be going clubbing in town after the game.  To me this is a fantastic draw as it’s a game we should win and it gives the clubs a challenge to set ticket process to ensure that some people turn up.  I’m sure you’re reading this Don Cortese so a tenner for adults, a fiver for codgers and teenagers and a quid for under 11s…. please.

Back to the league and we are back at SMS on Saturday against West Brom who are on the crest of a slump.  They still have no manager after dispensing with Steve Clarke but they do have some good players on the books so it’ll be a test but it’s a game we really need to win to keep us as a favourite for one of the top 10 positions.

Premier League Match 20 - Southampton 0 Chelsea 3

Natural Momentum makes Oscar twist in mid air and yell at the Ref.

Chelsea at home is not the nicest fixture with which to welcome in the New Year but that’s what we’ve got.  They were a bit flaky at the start of the season but right now they seem to be clicking into gear nicely and looking very strong and up to second in the league.  Not only do we have lovely opposition but we also have lovely weather as it’s pissing down and the walk to the game across the Itchen Bridge was wonderful as cross winds blew you sideways and then changed direction and gusts actually stopped you making any progress.  My son was wearing a beanie hat of mine which was a bit too big and this ended up getting blown off his head and over the other side of the road.

The car radio has already told me the team news in that Sir Rickie is left out again which I assumed meant that The Pirate was fit.  He wasn’t and Gaston Ramirez was in from the start for the first time this season meaning I assume, that J-Rod would be up front rather than wide.  I can see the logic on the face of it but J-Rod has never had a decent game for us as the lone striker so why is he suddenly going to start now?  Elsewhere, Morgan returns for JWP and things are beginning to look a bit brighter on the injury front with Nathaniel Clyne once again on the bench.  Chelsea have a few injuries and suspensions but it’s hardly an issue when you have a squad as deep as theirs.  There is certainly no weak link though I’ve always thought Azpilicuteta at right back is a bit dodgy.  Up front they have Fernando Torres who whilst he’s not as good as he used to be, cost them £50million quid so it’s hard to have too much sympathy.

Away we go and the first 5 minutes are horrible and how the hell we emerge from it at 0-0 is remarkable.  First of all Torres breaks straight down the middle after the first of what will doubtless be the many time Gaston gives the ball away and shoots wide as Dejan and Jose slide about trying to stop him.  Torres is then away down the left and luckily for us, chooses the wrong option though in truth, firing the ball over everyone’s head fifteen foot off the ground is never the right option.  He’s then away again after we give the ball away once more and wins a corner.  Mata’s kick is cleared as far as Schurrle on the edge of the box who really should do better than drilling it wide.  In the aftermath of this, Dejan is down and I reckon he stayed down just to take the sting out of things and give us a chance to regroup before we start again.

The next chance again falls to Chelsea as a cute ball from Hazard put Ramires in but Superkelv comes flying out to slide tackle him on the edge of the box and welly it clear.  Anyone thinking that Gazza should be in goal should be reminded that if he was it would now be 1-0 to Chelsea as he’d have been sat on his arse on the line as Ramires walked it in.

We finally have a chance and it’s a good one as J-Rod finds himself on the left and finds Gaston who pokes the ball through to Adam Lallana.  His turn finds space but his shot is well blocked by the sprawling Ashley Cole who is remarkably mobile for a man with a mobile phone up his arse.  The ball ends back out with J-Rod whose fizzed cross is missed by all.  We could have done with a centre forward to attack that really.  Just saying.

Torres is being a right handful but luckily for us he’s still finding ways to miss.  He picks the ball up on the left and runs past 4 players, none of whom make a tackle and lashes over the bar.  We create another great chance for ourselves as Gaston dinks a wonderful pass over the top to J-Rod whose first touch is poor and enables the defenders to get back and stop him getting a worthwhile shot away.  It’s a good example of why he should not be playing as the main striker.

It’s open and even now with chances for both sides.  Chambo totally does Cole down the right and gets forward, his eventually cross being cleared as far as Lallana who again sees his shot blocked by another sprawling defender, this time Azpilicueta.  Ramires gets forward for Chelsea and like Torres before him, runs through 4 non-tackles and shoots, only to see Superkelv throw up his zimmer frame and tip it over the bar.  Half time is upon us and after 4 minutes of injury time for the Dejan tactical stoppage, it’s time for the players to get out of the rain.

At half time at St,Mary’s you have the choice of watching the kids relay race or you can play trivial pursuits and try and get a 3G signal on your mobile phone.  I decided to have a go at the latter today and as usual, totally fail.  “The Saints are coming” booms the voice of Richard Jobson of The Skids out of the stadium PA and here we go.

The second half is about to start and Luke Shaw has had enough and been replaced with Nathaniel Clyne who takes up a position on the left.  The first action of the second half sees Chambo again burn down the right being pursued by Schurrle who obviously doesn’t fancy it.  The low cross is smashed off for a corner by Cahill.  Gaston’s flag kick sees Dejan get a header in and then Jose’s shot blocked by a prone defender and there’s a second where time stands still, the ball appears to be free and both our centre halves and J-Rod are in the vicinity and looking at it rather than trying to smash it in the net.

The Special One is obviously not impressed by what he’s seeing and is decisive in deciding to hook Mata and Schurrle and replace them with Oscar and Willian who on the face of it, are not bad subs to bring on.  One of them in particular makes an impact almost straight away.

Oscar, who is named after the trophy they hand out to the best actors, then gets played clean through by an excellent Hazard pass after a superb Chelsea move and knocks the ball wide of Superkelv and then goes down.  It looks like a penalty from the other end and we’re looking at a red card and 1-0 down but the referee blows and books the cheating little fucker.  Jose Mourinho is up and appealing but shows a sense of fun by waving to the Northam in response to a loud ‘sit down Mourinho’ chant.  The Special One probably knows that it’s highly likely that the referee has got that one right.

The cheating bastard didn’t have long to wait for a goal though as he got away down the left and crossed.  The ball looped up off of Calum Chambers toe and went over Superkelv, hit the inside of the post and bounced out sympathetically for Torres to nod into the net from 4 yards.  He did well to chase it in but the deflection on the cross and the bounce off the post were certainly kind to him.  I had an immediate feeling of ‘well that’s this game gone then’ and this was only increased by the substitution we immediately made of Sir Rickie coming on for Corky who was about the last person in the midfield or attack who deserved to be substituted, again.

We almost immediately fashioned a decent move with Sir Rickie superbly cushioning a ball to Lallana who in turn fed Clyne on the left.  His cross was allowed to bounce by Terry and Cahill and Sir Rickie got in but couldn’t get enough on his header and it went straight at Cech.  Straight afterwards it was all over as another fine Chelsea move culminated with the diving bastard playing the final ball to Willian who took his time and drilled it past Superkelv from the edge of the box.  Great finish and a great move and 2-0.  ‘You’ve only come to see the Chelsea’ boomed out from the arrogant bastards as a steady stream of Saints fans headed towards the exit in pathetic, plastic, glory hunter fashion.  Say what you like about the Chelsea fans but at least they’re there supporting their team to the end.

I bet they’re glad they stayed to the end though cos if they’d left they’d have missed Torres break away and feed Ramires who passed it on to Hazard who showed great vision to chip over the top to the diving bastard who took his time and drilled it past Superkelv at his near post with the aid of a slight deflection off of Jose Fonte. 3-0 and the steady exodus became a tidal wave of red and white clad people streaming for the exits.

The remaining time offered nothing except Chelsea taking the piss, passing it about while we looked somewhat dispirited with no one in midfield to make a tackle.  Gaston lashed a left footed shot just over the bar but that was it.  Easy for Chelsea in the end and we were thoroughly ass-whipped by a far superior team who look to me, far more likely to win the league than Manchester City or Arsenal.

Well that’s half an hour of my life that I’m never going to get back.  It was painful to watch from the hour mark onwards as we got completely stuffed by a very good and powerful side.  They had a couple of underperforming players out there and so they replaced them with two players who made the team immeasurably better.  In fact, you could measure it as they made three goals difference.  To our credit we don’t trot out the injuries excuse too often but if we did, citing the lack of Boruc, Big Vic and The Pirate, Chelsea had Lampard, Ivanovic and Luiz all missing.  In order to compete with Chelsea we’d need to buy about 8 more players in the £15-£20 million bracket so expecting us to compete with them as we stand is fanciful in the extreme.  That said, after the first five minutes, we did compete well until the first goal went in but then it all went to rat shit.

It’s easy to be gracious when you’ve won 3-0 and Mourinho was and criticized Oscar for his dive and praised the referee.  Will he fine or drop him though?  I doubt it.  It would have been interesting if it was 0-0 in the last minute when it happened – would the Special One have agreed with the referee then?  When you see the replays it’s horrible.  He leans forward, drags his foot into Superkelv and takes off.  He’s even turning and appealing to the referee before he hits the ground, the cynical little shit.  In his mind he’s weighing up a penalty, a goal and a red card to the keeper against maybe getting a yellow card and the potential rewards far outweigh the risks.  There is an additional thing in that the twat would have scored if he’d stayed on his feet but he scored anyway later on so I doubt he cares about the yellow card at all.  It’s boring to repeat what myself and countless others have been saying for about 20 years but an obvious dive like this should be punished by giving a 3 match ban based on TV evidence.  The FA always give it some bollocks about not wanting to undermine referees but giving Oscar a 3 match ban now would not undermine Martin Atkinson in any way.  He got it right and it would help him in the future as some players might not actually do what Oscar did.  There is a school of thought now that Atkinson should have sent him off.  It’s interesting when you think that he tried to get a fellow pro sent off and then he stayed on the pitch to set up two goals and score the other one.

Anyway, sod Chelsea and cheats and the FA.  Saints looked really tired for the first time this season and too many players had poor games.  Adam Lallana had his worst game for a while in front of the watching Roy Hodgson and J-Rod did his England cause no good at all with his third poor performance in the last four games.  I’ve seen calls on many Saints fans websites to play J-Rod as the central striker, a role which in my opinion he is totally unsuited to it as he’s not strong enough to hold the ball up and today in particular he barely got a kick and didn’t occupy Cahill and Terry in any way.  Most of the time they just walked in front of him and cleared it unchallenged.  He needs the bit of space that playing wider gives him so he can use his strengths which is to run at people at pace.  Gaston…. Oh Gaston…. well at least got involved and had a couple of shots and played a couple of great ball into forwards which hardly anyone else did but how many times does he give the ball away by either dwelling in possession or by aimlessly running into players.  Chambo was good coming forward today as was Clyne when he came on as they had a bit of space but whenever we ventured infield we got no change at all out of Ramires and Mikel who ran the show.  We really missed Big Vic today who would have at least made it competitive in there.

Mauricio did his usual and took Corky off again and we predictably went to shit afterwards as Steve Davis and then JWP failed to stamp any sort of authority in defensive midfield.  Surely the idea at 1-0 down against the Big Boys is to stay in the game as long as possible and just need the one goal to get something.  Being 3-0 down ten minutes later was I’m afraid, a bit predictable and of course, the game is completely gone by then.  Also, leaving Sir Rickie out when The Pirate wasn’t available was just wrong.

We had more possession yet again but I’m getting tired of that stat being trolled out.  How much possession did we have in their half?  If knocking it about in your own half wasn’t and only ‘forward going’ possession was included in the stats then Chelsea would have just shaded it by about 80% to 20%.  They had purpose in possession and we in the main did not.  Propaganda football was what Gordon Strachan used to call it.  I’m not for a second advocating banging it forward as that would make me Fat Sam but there’s no point in aimlessly passing it across the back 4 if you’re going to lose it and have the opposition break on you the moment you try and pass it forwards.

Next up we have the FA Cup against Burnley at home and players have obviously been instructed in their interviews to mention it and mention the fact that we’re taking it seriously, probably due to shite ticket sales for Saturday which I am at least partly responsible for.  Again, repeating what I’ve said for years, early round cup games should be a tenner and no more and at double that, on top of Christmas and having three kids and being skint, I won’t be going.  Let’s face it – we will field an understrength side as well.  If I was to guess I’d say that Sam Gallagher will start as well as possibly Matt Targett. 

It doesn’t feel like it much after the gubbing we got off of Chelsea but Happy New Year! 

Look at out league positions the last five New Years (courtesy of www.statto.com)

2014 – 9th in Premier League

2013 – 17th in Premier League

2012 – 1st in Championship

2011 – 2nd in League 1

2010 – 13th in League 1 

Perspective.  All of you who buggered off between Chelsea’s second goal and the end and need to get some.