Premier League Match 30 - Southampton 3 Liverpool 1

Don't worry Glen, that Nathaniel Clyne doesn't play for a big club

The visit of Liverpool always stirs up a different kind of emotion that the visit of most teams for those of a certain age group – my age group to be exact.  Those who only really remember the Premiership Years will have Man United as their team to be shot at whereas those who remember the 80s will have an opinion on the Scousers.  For me, it’s the game I most want to win this season and I’m not really expecting us to.

Brendan Rodgers had a dodgy start as Liverpool manager as he tried to rebuild after the car crash of the period from Dalglish back to Benitez but he appears to be getting it right at he moment as they are scoring shedloads of goals and are now threatening the top 6 with Luis Suarez proving to be both one of the players of the season and one of the players that you’d never tire of hitting over the head with a shovel.  They of course have loads of England international players with regulars like Gerrard and Johnson and fringe players like Sturridge, Henderson and Downing.  I hear that Roy Hodgson is in the crowd today to check up on his Liverpool contingent but more on him later.  Rodgers had to try and buck a trend of spending stupid money on average players but this season he’s shelled out about £40million on Sturridge, Joe Allen and the injured (but shit) Fabio Borini.  So overall, it doesn’t look like the lessons are being learnt as they continue on their quest to try and get back to where they were. 

King Artur was not offered a new contract yet and Saints had quite a quiet week aside from getting fined £20 grand for surrounding the ref last week and asking why Twattenburg is an attention seeking dickhead.  I wonder who actually pays that fine – will Don Cortese be happy to pay given that the players and manager were fighting for his cause or will there be an extra quid on car parking and booking fees for next season?  Taking of Twattenburg – he was supposed to be refereeing Man United versus Reading this weekend but is “injured”.  It’s hard not to be cynical – I doubt this is the case but I hope for the sake of the game that he’s been dropped for a week for being shite.   In other news, Chappers was loaned out to Millwall becoming the latest casualty of our “too much too soon” rise up the leagues which has claimed Billy Sharp, Dean Hammond, Dan Seaborne, Aaron Martin, Ryan Dickson and Tadanari Lee amongst others.

The Liverpool fans inside the ground had quite a few banners which all carried the increasingly popular “Against Modern Football” slogan.  Whilst I agree with the sentiment regarding the pricing and the lack of standing areas etc, I guess all Liverpool fans yearn for the days before modern football when they used to regularly win stuff.

The team news sees just the one change for us with Nathaniel Clyne coming in at right back but perhaps surprisingly, it’s Jose on the bench and Big Jos in the team.  I’m trying not to think about Big Jos coming up against a certain twisting and turning diving little shite.  My low expectations changed when I head the Liverpool line up.  Brad Jones in goal is 2^nd choice and very average and the defence is weak with Johnson and Enrique not being the best of defenders and Skrtel and Agger have been average for years.  A midfield of Downing (very very average), Gerrard (great player but on the way down), Allen (just poor really) and Coutinho (getting used to English game) were nothing to be worried too much about and Sturridge up front is either brilliant or shite.  I felt that if we could stop Suarez seeing too much of the ball then we’d have a decent shout.

Adam Lallana, still in the team following last weeks opengoalgate, creates the first chance of the day in getting in a cross from the left which Gaston met with a falling volley which was unconvincingly scooped up by Brad Jones.  The cross came in thanks in part to a lack or Glenn Johnson and within five minutes he’s standing around watching as we go 1-0 up.  Corky pings a ball out to the right to where Sir Rickie has peeled away from Agger.  He plays it back to Gaston whose cross to the back post sees J-Rod, totally unimpeded by the ex-Skate, head it down to the arriving Morgan who flicks it into the net with the outside of his right boot.  Lovely stuff.  It was brilliant play from all the players involved and encouraging from the point of view of abysmal attempts to cope with it all from Liverpool.  Neither Gerrard nor Allen tracked Morgan’s run and the less said about Johnson’s attempt to stop J-Rod the better.

We’re swarming all over them and they’re not settling at all.  After winning the ball back about 30 yards from goal, Gaston weights a lovely ball through to Sir Rickie who has beaten Agger’s one man attempted offside trap but he seems to take an age to realise it and by the time he has, Jones has come out to smother.  Gaston is generally playing like he’s on fire and becomes the next Saints player to take the piss out of Johnson as he dances round him and from a very tight position manages to fire over a superb cross which flashes across the goal.

The first threat for Liverpool comes from Coutinho on the left who attempts to take on Clyne for pace and ha ha ha.  Nice effort son, no chance.  It’s hard to recall Suarez or Sturridge touching the ball at this point but we’re soon back on the front foot, again down the left as Shaw and Lallana combine to put the latter in on goal from a tight angle.  His cross is parried up in the air by Jones but comes down on top of J-Rod who has his back to goal and manages to hook it over an open goal from about 6 yards.  Oh for Fucks sake. 

Saints are coping well at the back with any sporadic Liverpool pressure with Big Jos pinging some decent balls forward and Maya mopping up any threat with his excellent reading of the game.  Artur has a bit of a walkabout but is back in his goal by the time Sturridge tries a shot from 40 yards and the first real danger is averted when the lino spots that Big Jos has not just fallen over in a chase for the ball with Suarez but that he’s been trodden on by the striker.  Suarez predictably chucks the toys out and we have arm waving and pointing a-plenty.  I’ve had pops at Webb and Twattenburg in recent weeks but in my opinion, Phil Dowd handles this well by calling Suarez over and Steven Gerrard the skipper and telling him to shut the fuck up.  However, the card should have come out as Suarez then carried on doing the arm waving stampy dissent dance.  It soon turns out that Big Jos has picked up and injury as he goes down with seemingly no one near him and has to be replaced with Jose Fonte.  Looks like you may have caught him after all Mr Suarez.

During the delay as Big Jos goes off, Sir Rickie has come back to have a word with the ref, presumably about Skrtel’s mountaineering every time the ball is in the air.  Sir Rickie is probably explaining that it’s difficult to compete for the ball with a man resembling Frankenstein’s monster draped over your shoulders.  Artur belts the restart forward, Frankenstein goes mountaineering with arms all over the place and we get a free kick 35 yards out.  Up steps Sir Rickie to hit it and Sturridge in the wall bottles it, turns his back and deflects it past Jones and into the corner of the net with his arse.  A bit fortunate but no more than we deserve.  Its nearly three a couple of minutes later as J-Rod controls another pass from Gaston and hits an excellent effort first time which slides inches wide of the post.  I know I crap on about his finishing but this was a really good instinctive effort.  Maybe it’s only when he has time to think that he hits it straight at the keeper.

There are fifteen minutes to go and it’s following the pattern of the Man City home game of a few weeks back – we are 2-0 up and have to keep it that way until half time.  Liverpool have woken up a bit now with Coutinho floating around on both wings which allows Downing to stand around doing sod all in a different part of the pitch.  Coutinho fires in a dangerous cross which is expertly defended by the sliding Jose Fonte and then manages to get clean through but he really didn’t look like he fancied it as the King pulls out the starjump and blocks well.

It’s a constant source of irritation to me of how I have managed to get a season ticket in the moron zone in the Kingsland.  I promise you that there’s no discount for sitting here.   One bloke behind me has no “DAAAAAAAAAAAAVIS” to shout at any more but he’s in full tirade mode as Morgan plays just about his first errant pass of the season to mess up a break.  “SORTITAHHHHHHT” is the intelligent observation.  We win the ball back and pass it around and he evokes the ghost of Dave Bassett with his ‘FOREWAAAAAAAAAARDS” advice.  Reality check please Mr Moron – we’re 2-0 up against Liverpool…. But not for long.

Typical Saints, we can’t hang on and Liverpool undeservedly score as Downing’s cross is headed back by Gerrard, it pings around a bit and lands at the feet of Coutinho who can’t miss and he doesn’t to make it 2-1 which flatters Liverpool big style as the teams go off for half time.  It’s disappointing but overall the lads have been brilliant.

Half time and the game is now definitely mirroring the Man City game with the goal against just before the break.  I’m pondering this despite the ridiculous amount of noise being generated by the biblical hail storm smashing onto the roof.  “Against Modern Football” you say... I guess we don’t want uncovered terraces again then. 

Joe Allen is off at the start of the second half to be replaced by the equally average Lucas Leiva.  When they signed him and for about two seasons afterwards, Lucas was seen as a terrible player, not fit to wear the shirt etc etc but as the team declined and Benitez stupidly sold Xabi Alonso, he suddenly became irreplaceable.  Before today I’d only seen Joe Allen play once which was in the Olympics where I noticed he gave the ball away six times in a row.  Well worth the millions Brendan paid for him.

As the game restarts, Suarez is looking lively and hunting for the ball.  He gets it out on the left and tries to switch play and hits a wonderful ball straight to Johnson at right back who misses it altogether and it goes out for a throw-in.  It’s hard not to feel sorry for Suarez with the ineptitude of Johnson but I manage it.

Ten minutes meander by with Liverpool on top in general and so Mauricio summons Steven Davis from the bench and replaces Gaston who is a little unfortunate to have been removed seeing how well he’s played.  Deployed on the right wing today, Gaston put in his best performance for a while but I guess Pochettino is pre-empting the inevitable running-out-of-gas which would have happened in the next ten minutes or so.

The other side of Suarez comes to the fore straight afterwards as he takes on Clyne for pace and predictably loses in a heavy tackle.  There’s a pat for Clyne as if to say “good tackle” and there’s no histrionics either when a chip over the top just skips away from him off the turf and Artur comes flying out to claim it before the Uruguayan. Suarez completes his cameo 20 minutes with a free kick from roughly the same position that Sir Rickie scored his from but King Artur took it cleanly and held it which with the wind and rain, was an excellent save.

The introduction of Davis has the desired effect and Saints take over proceedings again and begin to make chances again.  Clyne is worked into space behind Enrique and his cross is missed by Skrtel and sliced over his own bar for a corner by Johnson – an own goal at that point would have been particularly amusing.  More superb play down the left between Shaw, Morgan and Lallana sees Lallana bearing down on goal and try to chip the oncoming Jones who gets a touch and makes a decent save.  Someone in the moron zone actually shouts “ANDBALLL” as the goalkeeper saves it.  Unbelievable Jeff.

Ten minutes to go and J-Rod picks up the ball in the centre circle and sets off towards goal.  He leaves Lucas in his wake and then waltzes round Skrtel as if he’s not there before doing his usual and hitting it straight at Jones.  Mercifully the rebound comes straight back out to J-Rod who rolls it into the empty net to make it 3-1 and you would think, game over.

Rodgers settles for a 3-1 defeat by bringing on Henderson for the incredibly disappointing Sturridge and we send on Guly for Lallana who has had a superb game, shooting aside of course.  There is only one incident of note in the last few minutes as Johnson goes round Guly on our left as if he wasn’t there and stands up a cross which Enrique meets at the back post and hits into the side netting.  When watching the highlights later on ‘Saints Player’ – Dave Merrington describes Guly as a ‘waste of space’ which is harsh but in that particular incident, entirely fair and quite funny.

The final action in the game involves Suarez dancing around in front of King Artur who is trying to kick the ball out.  It’s the sort of thing that 8 year olds do until you tell them not to but Suarez keeps at it until the King clears the ball with a look of mild amusement on his face and then Dowd gives Suarez a yellow card for ungentlemanly conduct and/or being a knob.  The indignation shown by Suarez gives you the impression that he may not be the sharpest tool in the box.

Full time and get the fuck in there.  Much has been made of our pressing style and Liverpool were the perfect opposition for it to work.  They will try and play football so they won’t hit us quickly on the break but they aren’t good enough to keep the ball away from us and pass through us.  Our midfield totally outplayed theirs with Gerrard being left on his own by the pathetic Allen and the almost as bad Lucas to try and deal with Corky and Morgan, ably supported by Gaston, Steve Davis and Lallana.  Every player we had out there today (with the possible exception of the “waste of space”) put in an 8/10 performance at least.

Mauricio was buzzing in the press conference afterwards and most interesting for me was the revelation that he went mad at half time over the goal we conceded.  To me, this is good to know.  Sir Rickie was all over scoring against his boyhood heroes and all is well with the world.  The King was excellent in his handling in atrocious conditions for a keeper and Clyne and Shaw were immense, as were all three centre backs who were used.  Having not done it at all last week, the three attacking midfielders were superb with Lallana once again looking like the player who got called up for England at the start of the year.  The biggest revelation though was J-Rod who thoroughly deserved his bit of luck for his goal for the immense work he did around the pitch.  I just wish his finishing was better but it’s churlish to worry about it today.

Elsewhere, Villa beat QPR so we won’t have a week of ‘Arry fawning in the media and all this Harry Houdini bollocks which has got rather nauseating in the last couple of weeks. Wigan had a result given to them by poor refereeing against Newcastle as they should have had a player sent off on 20 minutes for a horror challenge but the ref missed it and then he missed a blatant handball in the build up to their 90^th minute winner.  So, it could have been 7 points clear but now it’s 4.  On the plus side, Sunderland are now right in it after failing to win at home against a Norwich side who had their keeper sent off after 20 minutes. 

As for Roy Hodgson, well if I was you mate I’d take Sturridge, Downing, Gerrard, and Johnson out of your squad and replace them like-for-like with Lambert, Lallana, Cork and Clyne.  By doing that you’d be getting an injection of new blood and players in form.  You won’t though will you, you’ll recall the likes of Rio Ferdinand who this week has sarcastically applauded in a referees face and then kicked a player off the ball.  Funny how he never got charged by the FA for that when he was about to be recalled for a big match against San Marino.  I have never felt more disassociated with the England team in about 35 years of following them.

Anyway, back to the mighty SFC and a two week break before we play Chelsea at home.  They will be beginning a run of 3 games in 5 days with the others being an FA Cup Semi Final against Man United and a Europa Cup Quarter Final.  Hopefully they’ll play a weakened side against us, with Torres in it.