NPC Match 19 - Southampton 2 Hull City 1

Here is a Public Service Announcement:

Since our last match, CSI, the Parent Company of Portsmouth Football Club has gone into administration.  When you are confronted with a Pompey fan bleating one of the following

a)      The Fit and Proper Person Test has failed us

b)      It’s the parent company, not the football club

c)       It’s not the same situation as the Scummers

Here is your response:

a)      How is the FAPPT going to vet a Lithuanian banker other than seeing if he has anything dodgy on his rap sheet in this country?  He was chosen as the best owner by Pompey’s administrator who was appointed by Pompey’s owner.  Surely your administrator, who was your hero when he managed to con £100million off the debt, thoroughly investigated his background.

b)      Tell them that us kind generous folk at SFC may have closed that loophole for them wuith our lame attempt to get out of it.

c)       Tell them that it‘s similar because Rupert Lowe wants to buy the club.

Just follow these guidelines and have fun with your Skate mates.

Tonight we take on Hull City, in a bid to put Saturday’s defeat to Bristol City behind us.  They were of course, managed by Nigel Pearson who left recently to return to Leicester, leaving the club under the control of Nicky Barmby who was a decent player but I mainly remember him for Francis Benali drop kicking him in the back of the head when he played for Tottenham.  If memory serves, we had just let in 4 goals in about 5 minutes and Franny decided that Barmby had it coming.  It was live in Sky and I remember this close up of Barmby’s head and then Franny’s boot appearing over his shoulder.  It’s the stuff of legend.

Hull somehow had a couple of years in the Premiership recently and it’ll be interesting to see if any of those players remain.  When they went down there were rumours of Pompey-like behaviour from the ex-Chairman who then ironically got linked with a possible takeover down the road.  As a team they’ve either been very good or very poor this season so which one would we get.

To the teams and Nigel has put Dan Harding in the side in place of Danny Fox who had a bit of a mare at Bristol.  The race to replace the injured Chappers was won by Morgan Schneiderlin who starts on the right – I’m not sure that this is going to work ok.  Lee Holmes has made it onto the bench along side the predictable four of Barney, Steeeeeeeeve, Bart and Aaron Martin.  Hull appear to have a decent front line with Aaron MacLean and Matty Fryatt who are both decent players and Robert Koren was a eye catching player for West Brom a couple of years back.

Before kick off we had a minute’s applause for the memory of Gary Speed whose death I can’t get my head round at all.  While what he was like as a player is not really important right now but for those who never saw him play in his pomp, take it from me that he was a bloody good one.  During the 90s, Saints had two sides they could never beat, Leeds and Everton.  Speed always seemed to score against Saints for Leeds and when he moved to Everton, one could be forgiven for thinking that he’d stop his one man persecution of us.... but instead they beat us 7-1 and guess who got a hat-trick.  Great player, extremely promising manager who seemed to have it all... Rest In Peace.

Hull have some decent possession from the start but Saints have the first effort as following a patient build-up, Sir Rickie plays Morgan in and he smashes in a first time shot which Gulash in the Hull goal, makes a meal out of, parrying behind him before picking it up.  I expect he momentarily shat himself.

And now we have end to end football.  Hull have a wildly optimistic effort from Koren which Superkelv saves before a decent move from Saints ends with Sir Rickie crossing, the Gulyman stepping over it, Lallana’s shot being blocked and Dan Harding smashing the rebound at the moon.  Back come Hull and Fryatt is clean through whilst Fonte appeals for offside instead of defending and his shot is just flipped round the post by Superkelv.  Back up the other end and Adam Lallana makes the most of a lucky break off a defender and lashes a volley just over the bar.

It’s reasonably exciting at this point but you can always throw in a bit more as the Gulyman does his best Bambi on Ice impression and falls on his arse and within a minute it’s a Hull player in a footrace for the ball with Superkelv who is never going to get there in a million years.  Predictably as you like, he gets there just after the Hull player and hoofs him up in the air.  A quick scan of the pitch reveals we have two defenders behind him so the red card shouldn’t come out and despite that momentary sphincter clenching moment when the card comes out, it’s yellow.

Hull are continuing to ask more questions than any team has at SMS for a while and its not erally a surprise when they take the lead.  We have a chance to clear and don’t before they work their way in down the left, the shot comes in and is deflected by Koren, Superkelv makes a blinding reaction stop but unfortunately it pops up for Koren to head into an empty net.  Oh shit, 1-0 down.

We have one chance to get back into it before half time as Cork is hoofed over.  It’s just left of centre, about 25 yards out but the referee lets Hull line up about 5 yards away and so Sir Rickie’s free kick smashes into the wall and is cleared.  The Chuckle Brothers are getting irritating.  Of course they are as we haven’t scored yet and they have the memory of a goldfish and a matching IQ.

Half time and I couldn’t believe it - there were people booing.   You really need to have a word with yourself if you were doing this and you obviously need reminding that we’ve just got promoted, we’re top of the league above, we’ve won 20 home games in a row.... so we’re 1-0 down at home.  Get real, it happens.  The half time meeting of the Kingsland brains trust revolved around the need for Steve and who would come off.  There were votes for Morgan, Deano and the Gulyman but none for Cork who was of course, the one who got hooked.  On came de Ridder, who took up station on the right win with Morgan coming into the middle.

And then I did it again... following another misplaced pass, I loudly expressed the opinion that ‘Guly has been fucking useless today.  Saints won the ball back and off went Frazer on a crossfield mazy.  He reached the ‘what the hell do I do now’ point about 20 yards out and managed to poke the ball out to Lallana who went on the outside and stood up a superb left footed cross for Sir Rickie to head down and the Gulyman to smash a 1-2 off of Gulash’s hands before slamming it into the net at the second attempt.  Same as the Hull goal in that the keeper made a great save from the first effort and cue much backslapping for me and people pointing at me and laughing.

Five minutes later and we’ve turned it around completely as Richardson, revelling in the space that is suddenly available to him as the defenders worry about de Ridder, gets to the bye line and crosses for Lallana to steal in at the near post and flick his header past the keeper.  Adam’s heading ability is often criticized (usually because it’s the shte Johnno Pace, slide-it-off-the-face heading technique) but this is a decent flick and get in there you beauty.

We should have kicked on at this point and really gone for the throat but the game lulled back into a kind of mediocrity and we suddenly looked very lethargic which was well illustrated at throw-ins.  Dan Harding went to take one on the half way line – in front of him were Sir Rickie, Adam and the Gulyman, all marked and all standing still.   None of them even looked interested in making a run and neither of the central midfield players wanted it so in the end he had to turn round and throw it to Big Jos, across to Jose, back to Superkelv, sliced out for a Hull throw on the right.  Crap.

Just after the hour mark it was substitution time and with Barnard ready to come on, everyone expected the Gulyman to be making way, only for Sir Rickie to trot off the pitch.  Barnard immediately looked rusty as you like, getting battered by the centre halves and struggling to get hold of the ball and make it stick.  I think the term is that he ‘kept the defenders honest’ though with his harrying and chasing and he did manage one optimistic snap shot which was from too far out to seriously bother Gulash in the Hull goal.

Hull are running out of time and in his enthusiasm, Sub Brady carts Harding up in the air over on the left touchline.  It’s not a great tackle and it’s a little high but the ref is steaming over on a mission and it’s obvious it’s going to be a red card.  Yes it was a bit rash but it really wasn’t that bad.  Compare and contrast though with the way the Hull players accepted the decision and then remember the Brighton game.

Hull bring on a big rugged lump of a man in Dele Adebola and we bring on Lee Holmes who is the only player in history to be brought onto the pitch on a stretcher.  It's odd watching the stretcher bearers and physio doing warm up exercises for the entire duration of Holmes being on the pitch.  For some reason today, the scoreboards at both ends of the ground weren’t working which was a pain from the point of view of not knowing how long there was to go.  Back in the day you used to know that a 3pm kick off finished at 4.40pm and a 7.30pm kick off at 9.10pm.  Now we have longer half times and stupid kick off times and different ways of working out injury time so I had no idea how long was left.  I thought it would finish at half past but that came and went and still the 4^th official hadn’t put up the extra minutes board.  Here it is, 4 to go.

So, 4 more minutes of huff and puff with no serious threat on our goal.  We went forward at times and lost it and Hull whooshed it up there and Adebola did his best in a limited lower league centre forward kind of way.  Final whistle, get in.

My God did we make hard work of that.  Part of it was down to a very decent Hull side who kept the ball well and in the first half in particular, were as threatening to our goal as any team has been this season.  Thought they kept up some nice football in the second half, they didn’t really threaten our goal too much so I felt quite comfortable as the game ticked down.   Decent side though and I thought that Koren and particularly Aaron McLean had good games.  We only really played well as an attacking force for 10 minutes but it was enough with Frazer being the catalyst for both goals.  The introduction of Steeeeeeeve was a big thing in this game as it gave us balance and thrust on that side which was totally absent in the first half.  Steve being out there gave more space to Frazer to do his Ivan Golac thing and set up both goals.  Chappers has the energy to play on the wings and get up and down whereas Morgan is not that kind of player so lets get Steve in the side from the start on Saturday, assuming Chappers is out.

Nigel’s post match interview revealed a few minor niggles to Cork, Foxy and Sir Rickie but he was his usual relentless positive self, even turning their goal into a eulogy about Superkelv’s reaction save.  By the way Nigel, you’re not fooling anyone with your “I just want to be in the top 10 at Christmas” line.

So, the home form is holding up and we’re two points ahead of West Ham and eight ahead of third place Cardiff City.  Next up is Doncaster away who are bottom and six points from safety.  We really should win that one and we need to as it’s our last away game before we play the Skates.  Maybe they'll have a new owner by then.

NPC Match 18 - Bristol City 2 Southampton 0

Bristol City fans celebrate on their bus home.

Today we have a trip to Ashton Gate to play Bristol City who after a nightmare start to the season, are languishing in the bottom 3.  Their notable players are David James at 56 who is still a decent keeper and Nicky Maynard who we were linked with by the gutter rags in the summer.  Bristol City are however, on the upside of ‘new manager bounce’ (in direct contract to The Skates) at the moment having picked up 3 wins since Derek McInnes replaced Keith Millen. 

Talking of the Skates (which I haven’t done for a while) and we have the news of another dodgy owner (Antonov) arrested for alleged financial irregularities.  He joins a long line of illustrious names like (deep breath)... Dodgy Manager arrested and charged for alleged tax evasion (Redknapp), Dodgy Chairman arrested and charged with the same (Mandaric), Dodgy CEO arrested and apparently done a deal (Storrie), Dodgy manager in a Brothel (Grant), Dodgy Non-Existent Owner who was invented to buy time and pass the Fit and Proper Persons Test (Al Mirage), Dodgy Gun Running Criminal owner with Assets Frozen by the Courts (Gaydemak Snr), Dodgy Gun Runners Son Fake Chairman and Car Park Owner who wasn’t owning it as a front for his Dad cos that would be against the rules (Gaydemak Jnr), Dodgy Loan Shark Ground Owner (Chanrai), Dodgy Potless Owner and Ice Cream Salesman and not a Doctor really (Al Fahim), Dodgy Administrator with a strange approach to financial ethics (Andronikou), Dodgy Convicted Fraudster running the club for a bit (Azougy), Dodgy nonsensical appointment of the FA’s head of integrity as CEO (Lampitt) and I’m sure I’ve missed some.  So the new owner is at least a bit dodgy as well - Who’d have thought it?  They did get a 9 point penalty that made absolutely no difference though and a transfer embargo that made no difference either....  and of course, they still have to pay a whopping 20% of their debts over a 5 year period, starting whenever they feel like it - so fair’s fair.  One of the downsides of Colonel Gaddaffi’s family being killed / arrested is that they can’t be linked to being prospective new Pompey owners any more. 

Since the Brighton game there hasn’t been any actual news coming out of SFC, just bullsht in the papers. There was some interesting fall-out with Brighton being charged with failing to control their players in the aftermath of the dodgy penalty decision.  Interestingly it’s for the 2^nd one rather than the first so I’m guessing that this is about Ashley Barnes barging the referee, which he should have got sent off for.  Also, one of their players, Marcos Painter, he of the rugby tackle / assault on Sir Rickie which went unpunished was bleating that the ref swore at him.  Put your dummy back in you embarrassing Muppet.

Our Nigel names the same team as the Brighton match with Deano keeping Morgan out of the midfield and Barney keeping his place on the bench.

Both teams start in fairly positive fashion and David James gets come predictably stick from the Saints end.  Sir Rickie is getting dogs abuse from the Wurzels who aren’t too fond of his Bristol Rovers background.  There’s a big blow on 7 minutes as Chappers goes down with no one near him and it immediately looks bad.  It’s obvious that he can’t carry on straight away and so Schneiderlin comes onto replace him, going to the right wing.  To me, this is a bit of a negative substitution with de Ridder being on the bench but I can see why he’s done it.

Morgan adds a touch of quality though and Lallana played a nice 1-2 with the Frenchman before firing in a decent shot which James tipped round the post.  It was a decent save and hopefully that former Skate Bastard wasn’t going to have as good a game as he had against us last time.

City are feeding their right winger, Albert Adomah at every opportunity and it’s easy to see why as he flies past Danny Fox and looks like he’s going to be a right handful.  Hopefully he’s one of these quick wingers who can run and that’s it, has no end product.  It’s fairly even for the first 25 minutes but City and Adomah fired a warning with a quick break, ending with an ambitious effort which flew just wide with Superkelv scrambling.

A growing sense of uncertainty is in the air which is not alleviated when a bread and butter cross comes in from the left and Luckykelv makes a complete bollocks of it and juggles it round the post for a corner.  It’s all Bristol City now and the Wurzels are coming across loud and clear.  They think they’re going to score soon and so do I – can we get to half time though?

We have a rare foray into the danger zone which ends with Lallana’s goal bound shot hitting the Gulyman, who‘s playing like he had a few pints at lunchtime.  Normal service is resumed as Pearson fastens onto a Kilkenny pass and it through on the keeper but Superkelv forces him wide and he thankfully runs out of angle and squares it across to no one.  I am unavoidably reminded on the Cardiff away game (the last one we lost) when it seemed like there was only one team on the pitch and we hadn’t turned up.  Mercifully, half time was just around the corner so Nigel had a chance to hopefully sort it out.

Half time came and went and unless the team talk consisted of “let Adomah have the ball and let him run at us and shoot”, then I’m guessing that we messed up as it takes all of 2 minutes for City to take the lead.  Adomah runs and shots and Superkelv parries it.  We half clear it before once again, Adomah runs at Fox, cuts inside onto his left foot and hits a bit of a scuffer which flicks off of Foxy (I think) and flat-foots Superkelv who ends up on his knees as the ball rolls past him and into the net.  It’s a scruffy, horrible, crappy goal but you can’t say they don’t deserve it.

Seemingly stung into action, Saints win a free kick when Lallana is carted over in none too subtle fashion by Pearson and Fox’s free kick presents Fonte with a free header at the back stick which he 50p heads wide of the other post.   Fonte, empowered by his driving run forwards against Brighton which won that stonewall penalty, attacked the box before feeding Deano whose cross went back to Jose to tee up the Gulyman, who from 6 yards out, controlled it for the Bristol defender to clear.  In a game of few opportunities for us, this was definitely one of them.  Time for a substitution, Gulyman off, Steve de Ridder on.

Adomah is still causing us problems and his cross from the right is met on the volley by the left winger steaming in but Superkelv gets down well to block at his near post, prompting Merringtitus to spout his usual gem about what we don’t want to do, which according to Dave, is let in another goal.  No shit.

We’re faring a bit better in attack as Foxy takes time out from being skinned by Adomah to feed a ball into de Ridder who jinks himself past a defender before lashing it into orbit.  Barnard comes on for Deano for the last 10 but all we can manage for now is de Ridder going to ground in none-too-convincing fashion and for the second week running, we get a booking for diving.

With 5 to go, Saints push forward more in hope than expectation and lose the ball, giving Adomah yet another opportunity to run with it through the middle this time.  As he overruns the ball, Jos slides in and hoofs him up in the air but not before he’s poked it through to Maynard who takes it on and shoots and then watches as it hits Fonte, deflects onto the ground and loops up, sailing over Superkelv who can only watch.  2-0, another deflection but you can’t say it’s not deserved.

Merringtitus predictably gives it the “I told you we didn’t want to do that” but to be fair to him, he sounds gutted.  Usually he can find a positive, even in a poor performance but he’s struggling today, suggesting there really is nothing to see here.

Nigel was quite philosophical and honest afterwards, explaining that there was a lack of goal threat, no shots on target and he never felt like we were going to score.  The question on his mind was whether we were bad or they were good.  Bit of both I expect Nigel.  For me, more damaging than the defeat itself will be the injury to Chappers who has in my opinion been player of the season so far.  He provides and urgency and snap in our midfield which sounded alarmingly lacking when he went off, suggesting that a long term absence would be keenly felt.  He didn’t sound too downbeat on his Twitter feed in the evening so hopefully it won’t be too long before he’s back.  Everyone needs some Bald Psycho in the team.  We lost today to two deflections so you could argue that on another day, we’d have got a 0-0.  Let’s not get all Brighton about it and moan though – Bristol City deserved to win.

So, it was a bad day at the office, made worse by the fact that West Ham and Cardiff won.  Fans of those clubs in particular will be waiting and expecting us to have a wobble now and fall into the pack and we have to ensure we don’t do that, starting with the visit of Hull City on Tuesday night.  I think I’m correct in saying we haven’t lost two in a row under Nigel Adkins and I don’t see that coming now.  I see us bouncing back as we invariably do and putting consecutive win number 21 on the board.

Keep the Faith etc

The Great Lukas Jutkiewicz Bullshit Edition

Local Boy, Local Interest, Lovely!

WARNING: Some of this may be factually inaccurate, possibly, allegedly.


There has been no Saints news since the weekend victory over Brighton, there has however been bullshit. Picture the scene at the Daily Echo.

MONDAY

The ‘Brains Trust’ meet on the top floor.

Editor: OK lads, Today’s edition had the Brighton match report so we’ll flog a few copies. We need a Saints story to boost circulation for the rest of the week. Any ideas?

Hack1: Cortese leaving for Milan? That would destabilise things nicely.

Editor: No, not taking him on again, I’ve got a family

Hack2: It’s the end of the emergency loan transfer window on Thursday

Editor: Excellent, what can we do with that?

Hack2: How about re-hashing our made up bullshit from the last transfer window... you know about the local lad from Poland.

Editor: Oh yeah, that Jutkie..Jerko...Junkki...thingy. Polish lad from Southampton. Excellent, it’s got local interest with him being a local boy. The punters will love it.

Hack2: Connolly’s injured again so we’ll say that it’s an emergency loan with a view to a permanent move in January. How much shall we say for ? Coventry are skint so £1million ?

Editor: Naaaa, the readers like big numbers and it provokes discussion so let’s go £3 million

Office Junior: Are we allowed to run a story that has no factual basis whatsoever and is based on a four month story which was proved to be completely false.

Editor: Stupid boy... and anyway, what do you mean by false. He was born in Southampton and his sister teaches at Bitterne. Go and make me a cup of tea... two lumps.

TUESDAY

Story gets run in the early edition. Online edition tags ‘Coventry’ which sparks a chain of events which begins with the story getting reported on Coventry unofficial websites. Then, the Coventry local paper, The Sky Blue Bore gets hold of it and re-hashes it for the paper edition which causes....

Coventry fans go mad as he’s their best player, only goalscorer and they’re in the bottom 3

Coventry fans then finish the article and think £3m is a good deal.

Coventry fans then get angry again as they hate their owners and know the money won’t be spent on the team. ‘Sack the board’ they cry.

Coventry fans accept that it’s the players’ local club and at the top of the league etc and wish him well.

Saints unofficial websites report the story, adding a player exchange angle for no readily apparent reason, other than that Coventry needs some players. This exchange involves our ‘out of favour’ players... Dickson, Harding, Butterfield, Holmes... as well as Connolly who is out of favour due to being injured and Mick Channon who is out of favour due to being 60.

Coventry fans debate merits of said players – he’s good, he’s shite, I’d take him, why do we want their cast-offs etc.

Meanwhile, back in Daily Echo Towers...

Editor: This Juko, Juttervick...Jank... story is dieing on its arse, circulation only went up by 1 and that was some bloke in Netley who had dogshit on his shoe and needed something to wipe it off with. What can we do?

Hack 2: He was linked with Middlesbrough in the summer....

Editor: Who... Jurkovitch or the dogshit guy ? OK, good... re-hash the re-hash from before from the angle of Middlesbrough preparing a rival bid. Mention “bidding war” as that’s always good. Also, push the player exchange angle as we’ve been given that one on a plate.

WEDNESDAY

Story gets run with the web version tagging Middlebrough.

The Middlesbrough local paper, The Daily Smog gets hold of it.

Boro fans think he’s not worth £3million, doesn’t score enough goals, Everton fans thought he was shite etc, Saints are welcome to him, hometown club etc, why do they want him as they’ve got Lambert?.

Tony Mowbray quoted as ‘not interested in loan players’. Probably something he said in the summer.

Meanwhile, back in Coventry...

Andy Thorn is interviewed and the story comes up. He says he knows nothing and it’s out of his hands if his players get sold.

Lukas Jutkiewicz (who probably wants the move to be fair to him) is asked about the move and vows to remain professional and give 100% to Coventry.

Back in Echo Towers...

Editor: OK, I need more conflict, more interest, more bullshit. What have you got...

Hack 1: How about a late bid from a Polish Club or Pompey?

Hack 2: I’d go with Jakovich getting kidnapped by the Coventry Massive and being forced at gunpoint to have an affair with Sienna Miller, Steve Coogan and JK Rowling. It’s topical and more plausible than Pompey affording £3 million.

Editor: I like the way you’re thinking but ‘battle’ and ‘war’ always sells so we’ll have “Saints in Fight for Djokovic”.

THURSDAY

The story runs, Novak Djokovic ignores it and gets on with playing tennis, the day goes on and nothing happens.

Thursday at 5pm rolls round and then emergency loan window slams shut. If it was a door it would slam shut... if you slam a window it usually breaks.

Nigel Adkins gives an interview saying what he always says... we have a squad of players we trust and then adding..... I’ve heard about the story but I don’t read the Daily Echo.

Back in Echo Towers...

Editor: OK lads, damage limitation... lets go with Saints were looking for a striker and enquired but decided against it. Put a paragraph about maybe going back in January and if they do, we can say we were right all along, if they go for someone else we can say he’s second choice because the Jakkovitch deal fell through. Local angle, local boy etc. Lovely. Where’s my tea? What do you mean “he’s quit on principle”.

FRIDAY

The story runs – no one cares.

The bullshit has managed to get thousands of people interested and involved when there was never anything there. Three managers have made comment and three sets of supporters have got angry or excited or disappointed or shrugged their shoulders in indifference. In addition, lots of website editors have got busy and given the non-story legs and made it run. Ultimately it doesn’t matter – the only person who may be slightly pissed at it is Lukas Jutkiewicz... and me.

This chain reaction was brought to you by The Daily Echo. Call me naive but I thought the press were supposed to report the news and not create the news especially when it’s not in the public interest. It’s a good job that these day that you never hear about the Power of the Press being abused and Steve Coogan and Sienna Miller are signing for us in the summer. It’s probably just as likely as Lukas Jutkiewicz joining us.

NPC Match 17 - Dagenham 3 Brighton 0

"You in my pocket now, You stupid bastardo"

In the two weeks since our last game we’ve had two 1-0 wins for England against Spain and Sweden, one achieved by defending for 90 minutes and scoring from a free kick and one achieved by being the marginally better of two poor sides. No doubt then that Nigel Adkins and Gus Poyet wouldn’t have approved. Ah Gus, he who made a complete bell end of himself after the game at the Withdean last year and who will ever forget his “Dagenham with Lambert and Barnard” comment.

To be fair, he’s been interviewed in the lead-up to this game and has been complimentary about us, pointing out that we’re top for a reason. He’s also said that Brighton were top last year – which of course is correct. Many Saints fans have somehow taken his comments to be another example of him having a pop but to be fair, he hasn’t and has left that to the Brighton fans who are still sore about Nigel’s comments last Christmas which, as I’ve previously said, were innocuous at best. So, both managers are being uncontroversial and both sets of fans are giving it the large one. Welcome back League football, we’ve missed you.

The main Saints news is that it appears we have (apparently) opened talks with Celtic over Jos Hooiveld joining permanently, which of course, is a good thing. Not many (including me) had heard of Jos when he signed but the big man has proved to be a very astute signing. He’s been pretty solid defensively, one horrible pass at Cardiff aside and seems to fit in well. News of his potential move has of course, not come from the corridors of power at SFC but via his agent who will, you’d have thought, now be on the Horse-Head-in-the-Bed Don Cortese Xmas Card List.

In the wider football world, worth a mention is AFC Totton winning 8-1 in the FA Cup 1st Round and setting up a live TV date with Sir Rickie’s old team Bristol Rovers, who were in the same league as Saints last year. Good luck to them as it’s nice to see a Southampton based non-league side pulling up a few trees. Oh yeah, and Carlos Tevez is still a twat, only this time he’s a stressed out twat and everyone’s a racist…. Luis Suarez, John Terry, Sepp Blatter and even dear old Gus has waded in with an ill-advised defence of Luis Suarez when there was really no need to comment.

To today and it’s one concession for another as I have the joy of taking my 7 year old son to the game as my Dad is on holiday. The last time I brought him was to a Carling Cup game when of course, none of his favourite players were playing. They are today though with Saints as you’d expect with Hammond instead of Schneiderlin in midfield. Deano of course, was playing against his former club and he’s about as popular as bad dose of the shits with their supporters. The bench saw the return of Lee Barnard for the first time this season in place of David Connolly who has a groin problem. Brighton name Craig Mackail-Smith up front who I wished we’d signed in the summer. They don’t have Wankergren in goal any more which is a shame but they have replaced him (not in goal, but in being a wanker) with Taricco who is their Assistant Manager and when he was playing for Ipswich and Spurs about 20 years ago, was always a Grade A cock. Being 47, I expect he’s mellowed now. They also have Greer playing who is their big hard man (allegedly) who missed the game at the Withdean at the tail end of last year.

If anyone had forgotten the story of that game, they were reminded by the video shown on the big screen before the match. Yes, it was a bit petty but it was the least the Brighton fans deserved after their Official Match Programme comments, banners and all that. Fuck ‘em.

To set the scene... today in my little section of the Kingsland, there is me (43 on Sunday), my lad (7), Bill (84), Bill’s two 50+ year old sons and a couple of 70+ year olds. Behind us there are the Chuckle Brothers (combined age 212, combined IQ 23). The 70+ year old who sits in front of us who had a pop before my lad had even kicked his seat once last time, has decided to keep quiet this time. My lad hasn’t kicked any seats yet, or fallen off his chair, or closed it on my leg or my hand. The big foam hand he brought to the last game is not present as it has been destroyed by our dog. I couldn’t believe how many times I had to hit the dog with it before he got pissed off and ripped it into pieces.

The game starts and Brighton fall into their default mode of everyone behind the ball. To be fair, they’re having a decent amount of possession which they keep going until the ball goes anywhere near Billy Paynter who looks like a centre half playing up front. When Paynter gives us the ball back, we are sluggish in possession and struggling to get any movement going.

The lack of incisive play in forward areas results in shooting from miles out. Firstly the Gulyman shoots from somewhere near West Quay and Harper just picks it up, before Craig Noone cuts infield from the right and evokes the memory of Jason Puncheon by lashing it into the top corner ... of the Chapel Stand.

The ref gets card happy on 20 minutes as the Gulyman slides in on Greer. Yes it’s a foul but not worth a booking and certainly not worth 5 Brighton players around the ref including Taricco, the Assistant Manager and Right Back who is waving his arms around and generally getting involved where he shouldn’t. You’re not the captain so shut up. I think I may have yelled out something along the lines of ‘oh Piss off and get on with it’ before remembering I had my 7 year old son sat on my knee. The ref is obviously irked with Taricco as he reverses a throw in decision when Taricco tries to pinch about 20 yards before taking it, going from one half to the other – as if he’s not going to notice, you fool.

It’s all a bit scrappy but Frazer goes all Ivan Golac and hammers forward down the wing before feeding Sir Rickie whose shot is blocked by Greer and it flicks off his hand but to give a penalty there would be harsh in the extreme. We have another shout for a penalty as Sir Rickie heads a ball back across despite Painter trying to rip his shirt off. Nigel changes the midfield to a diamond with Chappers going left and Corky right but there’s not enough time before half time for this to take proper effect.

Half time and Brighton have done pretty well in that they’ve stopped us playing with everyone working hard defensively. Mackail-Smith and Noone were covering the forward runs of Richardson and Fox but the problem was that this left Billy Paynter up front who has quite possibly been our best defender today. The Mighty Daggers can only play better in the second half and I have told my offspring that we’ve won 19 home games in a row and if we don’t win this one then it’s his fault.

All is well with the world within three minutes of the restart as Frazer flies down the wing again before cutting back onto his left foot and swinging over a cross to the far post where it’s Sir Rickie against Noone and Tarricco. And the winner with a big thumping header into the net is Sirrrrrr Rickie Lamberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. Get in, 1-0 to the Dagenham.

Brighton have to open up a bit now and unsurprisingly, we find more space as Lallana puts Deano through, Harper comes out and Deano goes over. It’s either going to be a penalty or a booking for diving and it’s the latter. I have a bit of a problem with this as the keeper has caught him without touching the ball but he was looking for it (not a crime) and he didn’t have any interest in trying to score so I guess it’s fair enough. The Brighton fans are a forgiving lot and don’t give Deano any stick at all.

If the ref got that one right then he most definitely got the next one wrong as Fonte burst out from the back and found himself on the edge of the area. He lost it and then won it back again before Dunk grabbed his arm and threw him over. It’s a foul (a completely pointless one) and the lino gives it. The ref comes over, has a look and gives a penalty. It’s a bollocks decision even on first viewing as it’s about a yard outside the box and Brighton predictably go nuts. Taricco decides that having already pissed the ref off, it’s a good idea to get in his face and give him loads before going all bulgy eyed and incredulous as he gets sent off. He leaves the pitch tapping an imaginary back pocket? Is he talking about bribes here or what? It’s a good job he’s not in a position of responsibility, like being Assistant Manager or something like that. I mean, you wouldn’t want someone that hot headed and undisciplined in a position of authority would you? Still, it was nice of him to show my son what happens if you argue with referees. “Come on son, wave to the idiot as he goes off, bye-bye, cheerio, fuck off (maybe not).....”

After all that, the most predictable thing in the world, Sir Rickie, bang, bottom right, 2-0 and there’s a magnificent chant from the Northam of “2-0 to the Dagenham” at this point.

Brighton are in disarray now and a short kick out from Harper puts a defender right in the shit and he’s robbed by Deano who plays Sir Rickie through on the keeper. Harper comes out and Sir Rickie slips it past him and just wide of the far post. TV replays later prove that Harper made a great save but the ref missed it so the resulting goal kick just made it look like a bad miss.

Obviously a bit concerned with the prospect of the ref evening things up, Nigel removed the booked Deano and brought on Morgan, just in him for him to get carted high and late by Navarro who made his first meaningful contribution to the game by getting booked. Another penalty shout and another shocking decision as Sir Rickie rose to head the ball goalwards, only to be rugby tackled by Painter. Goal kick, of course.

Gus has decided that playing Dagenham with 9 men is pretty difficult so he replaces Billy Paynter with someone who can play football but it’s soon 3-0 to the Daggers as Tarricco’s replacement Calderon, clipped Sir Rickie’s heels as he was about to shoot. Penalty again. The ref once more covered himself with glory by blowing the whistle, bang 3-0. Oh hang on, the keeper had his back to it, take it again. Bang, top left, 3-0 to the Daggers and a hat-trick for Sir Rickie. Surely it’s the keepers’ problem if he’s not watching and also, what would have happened if the penalty had hit the post or something?

Brighton actually create a chance, or rather we create it for them as Richardson slices a clearance up in the air in our own penalty area, which Davis drops, forcing ‘body on the line’ defending from Corky and Chappers to get it clear. Brighton have given up now and so it’s ‘Ole’ time for a couple of minutes before Gulyman tries to curl one into the top corner and skies it.

More subs as the clock runs down with Lallana and the Gulyman making way for de Ridder and Barnard. Sir Rickie thumps a diving header straight at Harper from a Frazer cross before the subs both make a positive contribution with de Ridder beating a few players before optimistically trying to chip the keeper and just failing whilst Barney gets on the end of another Frazer cross and flicks a header just over.

Full time in what was ultimately an easy win. Brighton didn’t have a shot on target all game and the only action Kelvin had was our own doing as we hoofed a ball up in the air in our own area. On the TV Highlights on The Football League Show, Kelvin only featured in the tunnel before the game. Brighton and Gus will of course argue that the first penalty was the turning point but come on!!! It was already 1-0 and we were creating chances at will. If you argue about that you really are just arguing over the magnitude of the defeat. Like the Peterborough game earlier on this season, I reckon we’d have won by more against 11 men.

Gus was obviously upset in his post match interview and of course, mentioned the pen and asked what you can do when a decision is just so wrong. He’s right of course but as we all know, you have to get on with it. He didn’t mention his idiot assistant. Nigel concentrated on the positives but also vowed to look at why we were so poor in the first half whilst giving credit to Brighton for keeping it tight. Beneath the smile and the clichés for the cameras though, this must have been a sweet one.

The Taricco red card made it onto Twitter and the ‘pocket’ gesture was explained by Chappers and Lallana, saying that Taricco was saying he had them both in his pocket all game. We’ve got the away game at the Amex on January 2nd which is not far away so this particular pot should be simmering quite nicely by then.

I thought the Daggers were magnificent in the second half with Corky and Chappers really shining and Sir Rickie being unplayable at times. Brighton were awful, though a lot of it was tactical. I can’t understand how they can break their club record fee for a goalscorer (Mackail-Smith) and then make him chase Richardson up and down the wing for the entire match. CMS was never near enough to our goal to do what he’s good at (and he is good at it). As for Billy Paynter... Jesus..... if ever there was an argument against the loan system then this is it. Leeds loaned him out to a team in their own division because they thought he was shite, making a rival team weaker and them stronger... win, win. Also, why wasn’t Greer picking up Sir Rickie as well? Every time the ball went in the box it was Marcos Painter who was trying and mainly failing to stop him. Seems like the biggest defender and the captain, just didn’t fancy it.

On the way out of the ground, son and I are clapping the players off and when the last one has gone, as I carry him down the steps he starts talking to a random bloke. He explained the offside rule and how they calculate the amount on injury time before I managed to drag him away from a very confused looking Idiot Chuckle Brother.

Next up is Bristol City away in an away game we really should be looking to win. Bring it on...

NPC Match 16 - Coventry 2 Southampton 4

Be Very Thankful....

Are we serious about this season?  Are we serious about winning the league or automatic promotion?  If we are then today is a ‘must win’ in a match, away at Coventry City.  Since starting off the season with two consecutive away wins, we have played five other away matches and not won.  You can make all the excuses you like about difficult fixtures and blah blah blah but the bottom line is that in order to finish in the top two, you have to win a decent proportion of your away matches and we haven’t…. so far.

I always enjoyed going to Highfield Road back in the day.  By the time you left the ground there was always a good chance that the cost of your match ticket, travel to the game and a couple of pints would be reimbursed by kind Coventry fans throwing money at you.  Strange lot – maybe their generosity is the root cause of them being skint, though more likely is that it’s due to a recent-ish connection between us and them.  SISU, a hedge fund, tried to buy Saints and failed before eventually buying Coventry.  I’m not entirely sure of the timeline but I think Ken Dulieu was involved with us at the time and now he’s Coventry chairman.  A quick scour of the web forums suggest that Coventry fans think that he’s the devil incarnate.  The SISU takeover has hardly delivered the success that Coventry were hoping for and they find themselves in the bottom three going into this game.

Nigel Adkins has had a little mini-shuffle of the pack for this game with Danny Fox and Jack Cork (two ex-Coventry players) coming back into the side at the expense of Dean Hammond and Dan Harding who drop to the bench and the seats behind the dugout in the stand, respectively.  A lot of the build-up to the game has focussed on Lukas Jutkiewicz, the Coventry striker who is a Saints fan and doesn’t care who knows it.  Respect for that Lukas but I hope you’re shit today.

I myself am ill and it’s nothing to do with alcohol.  I’m lying on my bed with Dave Merrington whispering sweet nothings in my ear, telling me what I don’t want to do.

Away we go and it’s all Saints with Coventry struggling to get a touch of the ball, let along creating anything remotely dangerous.  We’re passing it like a dream right from the start and Morgan hits our first chance wide on the volley having played a superb 1-2 with Sir Rickie.  More passing moves with virtually the whole team involved before Sir Rickie heads down and Chappers shanked an effort wide from an offside position.  He obviously knew he was offside, hence the lame finish.

We’re reached the half hour mark without really looking threatening so it’s now time to change that.   But first, another near miss as Lallana’s cross picks out Sir Rickie at the back post and his header back across it me by the Gulyman who nods it down and fractionally wide of the post.  It’s coming....

.... now.  Three minutes later and Danny Fox wins a throw and Crozzer on the line quickly gives him the ball back.  Fox throws and feeds the Gulyman on the left who juggles it past the bamboozled defender and crosses along the ground into the danger area.  Chappers slides in with a defender and the ball gets stuck under them by Chappers is up quickest to fire left footed under the keeper and into the far corner for 1-0.

Coventry’s response seems to be to let their heads go down and it could have been 2-0 a minute later as following another dazzling move and a Fox cross, Lallana’s header does what all Lallana headers do and drop harmlessly straight to the keeper.  No matter though as a Sir Rickie pass frees Lallana down the left who feeds the Gulyman to ride a challenge and get to the line before taking his time and rolling a simple pass back to Lallana for an easy finish for 2-0.  It’s nearly 3-0 as Fox blasts past a namby pamby tackle in the penalty area but he tries to take The Gulyman’s head off with the cross and it bounces wide and the Gulyman has a headache.  We reach half time as comfortably as you like, still leading 2-0 and the only question is how many will we get?

The second half starts and Coventry are of course going to give it a go with Northern Irish International and Star Trek villain, Klingon having a speculative free kick from miles out which Superkelv flaps round the post for a rather needless corner.  This shouldn’t have been catastrophic but it was as Big Jos lost Jutkewicz who stole in amongst 8 Saints players in the box to side foot home from 5 yards.

Coventry are fired up now, with the goal we presented them with and Starship Captain Klingon has his phasers set to stun as he fires wide this time.  Back come Saints with a couple of chances falling to Big Jos but he heads a Fox corner over, followed by another header over  following Fonte heading a cross back across the goal.

In our journey around League 1, we came across Clive Platt who is coming on as a sub for Coventry.  He’s a big donkey with no discernable ability as a footballer and as such, I knew he was going to score.  A bobbling ball forward causes a bit of panic and ends up behind Fonte who gets his foot on it to clear it out to the wing.  Unfortunately, it hits Frazer Richardson on the side of the head and instead of flying off for a corner or anywhere else harmless, it rebounds back into the centre of the penalty area to Platt who manages to get his big donkey feet in the right position to stab it in for 2-2 and his first goal since he was giving kids rides for a quid along the beach.

In a move which didn’t immediately scream “attacking intent”, Deano came on for Chappers which meant Morgan moving to the right.   All is right with the world again five minutes later as a cross from the right ends up on the left with Danny Fox who got himself a yard of space before curling in a brilliant cross for the unmarked Gulyman to rise and with a flick header into the far corner, we’re back in the lead again.

The Official Saints website has described this goal as being just like the one he scored against Middlesbrough.  Apart from the fact that it was a cross from the left and not the right and a flicked header and not a power header – they are completely correct.

A half chance for another goal passes by on 79 minutes as Lallana fires just wide before being replaced with Steve de Ridder.  Our famous Belgian takes all of 5 minutes to fasten onto Sir Rickie’s cross into the area to make it 4-2 as the defender and the goalkeeper waited for eachother to take change.  Schteeeeeeeeeeeeve!!! Game over.

There is time for a ‘Man of the match’ substitution as the Gulyman is replaced with David Connolly for the last couple of minutes, allowing him to take in the applause of the Saints travelling army and  the 25 or so Coventry fans left in the ground.  Those left hear the final whistle and the confirmation of a really important win for the mighty red and white machine.

Well have some of that then.  Like I said at the start, we had something to prove today and we did it.  It’s official, we can put the weaker sides to the sword in away matches – love it.  Nigel’s interview was very upbeat as you’d expect, revealing that he’d asked for 9 points from the last 3 matches and got them.  Is it just me but I’d have thought most managers would have been asking for 6, maybe 7.  OK Nigel, give me 21 from the next 7 games please including a 4-0 away win at Fratton Park.

Coventry manager Andy Thorn came up with the usual stuff that a lot of beaten managers have spouted after playing us which was that their side “gifted us the goals”.  Yeah, your side dozed off at a corner and gave the centre forward a free shot from 5 yards didn’t they.  Oh, hang on a minute, that was us... you got beat by a better team, just deal with it.  I wouldn’t tell him that to his face though.... big, hard looking bastard.

The next two away games are ones we should be looking to win as well at Bristol City and Doncaster.  Before those though we have an international break and a home game against those lovely boys from Brighton who have two weeks to work out how to avoid becoming consecutive home league scalp number 18.  This will be a tough one for us as we’ve lost and drawn in the last two home games against the Seagulls and I guess Gus will still be spitting feathers over something very minor.  Can you keep up?

Enjoy the abysmal England national team getting taught a lesson by Spain and see you in two weeks.

COYR.

NPC Match 15 - Southampton 2 Peterborough 1

They're Back... the Twats!

Fergie Lite is in town tonight with his Peterborough side who arrive at SMS, just a few places off of the playoff positions, having had a decent start to the season. They had an excellent attacking side last year but one of the players who was a pain for us was Craig Mackail-Smith who has moved on to Brighton. Little fat Lee Tomlin who converted the last minute penalty against us in the 4-4 draw last year is missing through suspension, leaving only George Boyd from last year’s strike force. Peterborough are the sort of side I would usually want to do well but then there’s their manager who talked such complete bollocks after the 4-4 game that it’s hard to look past that.


One thing for sure is that he doesn’t like Chappers who I reckon is due a goal tonight. Saints have been taking plaudits since the Middlesbrough demolition but there is no point in beating Middlesbrough and West Ham and the like if you’re not going to produce in the games you really should win, like this one.

Nigel made three changes from Saturday with Fox, Cork and Butters rested with Dan Harding, Morgan Schneiderlin and Frazer Richardson coming in. We had a shambolic minutes silence for All Saints Day as when the ref blew the whistle to start it, a lot of people thought it was the end and started to applaud, so it became a minutes applause which tests your clapping stamina and gives you Repetitive Strain Injury.

We and Chappers started where we left off against Middlesbrough as Bald Psycho won a corner following a determined run and from Harding’s delivery, Jose Fonte headed wide. Peterborough looked right at it for the first 10 minutes with Boyd in midfield pulling the strings. We on the other hand looked a bit disjointed but it all turned round on the quarter hour as Frazer fed a ball into the Gulyman from the right wing and the Brazilian maestro laid it off first time for the onrushing Chappers to sidefoot past Paul Jones (not that Paul Jones) from 6 yards whilst everyone wondered if it was offside. Chappers celebrated in fine fashion and it could only have been better if he’d done it right in front of the Peterborough dug out.

The fog was immediately lifted and Saints went for the throat and tightened the grip two minutes later after a foul on the Gulyman. Sir Rickie once more shaped to hammer it before playing it into Lallana who turned it first time to the Gulyman who scuffed it across goal to where big Jos was waiting. Always deadly from 3 yards with an open goal, he duly converted to make it 2-0 and floodgates, please.

Peterborough responded through Frecklington aiming a two footed tackle at the Gulyman which earned him a yellow card when on another day with another ref, could have been a straight red. Saints were pummelling them now with Sir Rickie nearly making it 3-0 with a right footed blast from the left which Jones shoved round the far post.

One definition of madness is to do the same thing over again and to expect a different result. Well, Frecklington tested that theory with a two footed tackle on Schneiderlin which wasn’t quite as bad as the first one but a yellow card was inevitable and off he went, idiot.

Possibly rattled by sending someone off, there was then some very strange refereeing when Morgan got fouled and the free kick was clearly given to Peterborough as indicated by the ref pointing in their direction. Whilst I was moaning at the crap decision, Deano took the free kick quickly and then the ref indicated ‘play on’. I can only assume that he meant to give the decision to us in the first place and just pointed the wrong way.

Peterborough retreated in a effort to get to half time without conceding again and sadly, our passing was not great and not quick enough. We were doing a lot of sideways and backwards and for the first time in a while, there was some aimless punting forwards, especially from the full backs where Harding and Richardson were competing for the ‘dodgy performance’ award. Dan seemed reluctant to move into the space in front of him and Frazer seemed to be playing a game whereby he got to where the ball was a second ago. Morgan was trying to hit Hollywood balls from just in front of the defenders and Lallana and Chappers watched a few balls fly harmlessly over their heads and out for throw-ins. Adam’s efforts to have an impact on the match were being impeded by wearing roller skates instead of football boots and each twisting and turning manoeuvre was usually ended by him falling over.

Half time and it’s time for some more child torture as irritating bald bloke tries to get a 9 year old to hit the cross bar from 20 yards when he can only actually kick the ball about half of that. Confounding my scepticism, some kid managed to do it though he does look a little bit older. As we line up for the start of the second half, Steve de Ridder is on for the Gulyman and we’ve gone 4-5-1 with Chappers infield and de Ridder and Lallana on the wings.

There seems to be a bit of an assumption that the game is done at this point as Saints pass it amongst themselves and Peterborough employ the 4-5-0 formation and no matter how hard we try, they are not coming to get the ball. The Northam amuse themselves by chanting “Steeeeeeeeeeve” every time the ball goes near de Ridder and this is quickly extended to other players. It’s funny for a bit but in the end it adds to the “taking the piss” atmosphere that has descended onto the proceedings.

We manage to get the ball in the net as Sir Rickie bundles in a Lallana cross but there is a foul on the keeper. Again, the ref didn’t really signal it clearly and I thought for a bit, that he was pointing to the centre spot having given the goal. Both full backs were pushing into the spaces now and we were pressurising well when we didn’t have the ball resulting in de Ridder nicking the ball off of their left back and eventually setting up Sir Rickie with a sitter. He hit it and we waited for the net to bulge but it hit the foot of the keeper who had dived the wrong way and pinged off to safety.

And then it started....”Why deeee do daaaaaaaat ?”, “Dere winning everyfiiiiiiing”. Oh yes, the Chuckle Brothers were back. Half an hour without a goal and they’re back. I imagine it’s what it’s like when you are told by a doctor that the horrible disease that you had has returned. You know, you had the disease and you got rid of it, all the open running sores had gone and you’d just got to the stage when you thought it had gone forever and you had the odd moment when it didn’t even cross your mind anymore. Another sub with Connolly on for Lallana and the moronic totally unfunny one pipes up with “It’s David Noccolly, Noccally is coming on”. I have one of those woolly hats on and I’ve pulled it over my ears and eyes and am counting to 10. I’m in my quiet place where it is calm. It works which is just as well as the alternative is to turn round and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

We have another chance when de Ridder sends a volley flying just wide and then Peterborough got into our half with their one forward taking on Big Jos for pace. He may be a big unit but he looks quite quick when he gets going and the perfectly timed man-and-ball sliding tackle at the end completed the job nicely.  Big Jos does his job again with quarter of an hour to go and heads the ball clear only to find our midfielders absent and Boyd picks it up and has time to weight a decent pass through for Sinclair to run onto and score easily. Ooh, bugger, 2-1.

Chappers tees up de Ridder for a well shit volley which flies just wide before Jack Cork is summoned from the bench to replace Chappers who is taken off so Fergie Lite can give him a standing ovation. Corky starts well on the left, calmly keeping hold of the ball and manages to break forward to get on the end of a de Ridder pass and smash in a fierce goalbound shot which hits a defender and flies over the bar. All is calm as we mess about in the corner for a bit and play out the 4 additional minutes with no real alarm.

Though we struggled a bit to get over the line in this game, it’s ended up being a brilliant evening as West Ham drew 0-0 at home with Bristol City, meaning that we’re 5 points clear again. At a guess, Britol City had a centre back that headed away all the hoofs upfield. No matter how poorly we played, I bet West Ham would have taken a scrappy 2-1 win. We had a few too many poorish individual performances tonight but I think the sending off changed the game in a negative way for us in that we’d have won by more if they’d had 11. With 11 men and 2-0 down they’d have come forward to try and get back in it and left a load of space – as it was they played 4-5-0 and we couldn’t play through them. It reminded me of those shocking matches we played at home in League 1 when Pardew was manager where teams would come for a 0-0 and we would cluelessly fail to break them down. Anyhow, can’t be greedy...

Peterborough for their part did well after the idiot got sent off and I think that Fergie Lite’s approach was the right one as it would have done no one any good to have got humped 6-0 or something. They didn’t really deserve their goal but when it came, it made it more interesting and it did open my ears to the savage amount of moaning, just itching to be let out by my fellow Kingslanders. Fergie Lite praised us for being top of the league and then ruined it by saying that we tried to get his player sent off. Listen pal, you wanna be mad with someone, try Frecklington who could have got a straight red for the first tackle then managed to do the same again having been booked. He deserved to go, end of. Shut up you knob.

We have one more game before the international break and it’s a decent opportunity to show that we can win away from home when we take on Coventry at the Ricoh Arena. It’s the start of a run of 4 away games against teams in the bottom 6 with Bristol City, Doncaster and of course, our friendly rivals The Skates (where I know that the form book could potentially go right out the window). For the Cov match I expect to see Corky and Danny Fox restored to starting duties and hopefully Adam Lallana will have the right studs in his boots. As my Dad used to say to me 30 years ago... you can’t play football when you’re on your arse.