JASON PUNCHEON started the season on the right wing and was simply dreadful. Looked unfit and looked like he didn’t care. He missed open goal after open goal and then got annoyed when the crowd got fed up with it. Virtually the first act when Nigel Adkins came into the building (oh yes) was to set Jason some KPIs and these were “shoot in the general direction of the fucking goal occasionally” and “stop being a sulky twat”. Having failed on both scores, he was dropped in favour of an only-just-17 year old and he threw his toys out and got loaned out to Millwall where bizarrely, he banged in a few goals. A brief return to us followed which included a decent game in the FA Cup v Blackpool who then signed him for the remainder of their Premier League campaign where he has again done ok. Technically still our player but we won’t see him back here as long as he has a hole in his ass. Not happy with being a squad player and in all likelihood, a dissenting voice to Nigel’s plan of squad unity so bye.... and rightly so. It would be the best outcome all round if we got rid of him and anything over £400k would represent good business for the club.
The only-just-17 year old who replaced him was of course ALEX OXLADE-CHAMBERLAIN who dropped the first part of his surname so it would fit on a shirt. He’s had a brilliant season and has been very well managed by the club and has rewarded us all with some great goals and assists and with pace and directness that will take him far in the game – but hopefully not away from SMS in the near future. Of course, all the tabloids were selling him off in January and even the usually intelligent Arsene Wenger commented on him which didn’t go down well with Don Nicola. Any website or paper that quotes a fee is making it all up and should therefore be placed on your ‘ignore’ list and nothing is real until the Don says it is. None of them seem to realise that we’re not in the “Rupert Lowe – Everything Must Go” era any more and the club has a bit of cash. The second half of Chambo’s season was interrupted by a nasty ankle injury but he was back on as a sub in the last game and instantly looking like the phenomenal player that he will be.... hopefully for us. Another great thing about Alex is that a lot of Skate fans think he should have been one of theirs. It is hard to see why his dad didn’t send his talented son to Pompey, what with their magnificent training facilities and unsurpassed track record with developing youngsters. With Alex being injured, the right wing berth passed to Guly do Prado who, when told to play on the wing and not on the right of a diamond formation, was a revelation. More on him in the forwards section.
On the left for a majority of the season has been ADAM LALLANA who, like Fonte is good enough to play in the Premier League now. It was a major, major statement of intent to get him to sign another 4 year contract in January as once again, he’d have been off under the previous regime, probably before this season started. A few injury problems this season but when fit has been superb, both in creating and scoring goals. A deserved call up for the England U21s, even though I suspect he will miss out on the tournament itself after the SMS friendly is out of the way and he’ll be a massive player for us next season. Once aspect of his game that gets overlooked is how hard he works to get back into position once the ball is lost. Has the potential to be the next Saints legend if he stays for the duration of the contract he’s just signed.
LEE HOLMES has had his usual season in that he’s played about 5 minutes and been injured the rest of the time. Sadly, I think that time has run out for Lee now and he needs to move on as he must have played about 15 games in three years here with only about 5 of those coming in the last 2 years. He’s got a year left on his deal but even if he’s fit I can’t see him playing many games. You could argue the same with David Connolly but at least you know that he’s got the ability to play at Championship level whereas Holmes is still unproven. I guess he’ll be a squad player next year in the same vein as Dany N’Guessan was this year.
DANY N’GUESSAN came in on loan in January to I presume, cover for Adam Lallana but despite looking good in flashes (Exeter and Charlton away, Fake Dons at home), never seemed to have the trust of the manager and a variety of options were tried instead of giving him a game and I can’t see him being back next year even though I think there’s a decent player in there somewhere.
Ryan Dickson was occasionally picked on the wing and can do a job there, mainly because he’s such a good crosser of the ball. The cross he dug out at Orient for Sir Rickie to score was particularly good.
In the engine room, DEAN HAMMOND is the first name on the team sheet if he’s fit and I see no reason why this will change next season. He has a physical presence that we have lacked for years in the centre and the whole team plays better when he’s there. To me, he’s the ideal defensive midfielder as he wins his headers and tackles, can get about the park and plays it simple. He should however, shoot more often as he has a decent dig on him when he gets it right. Has played a lot better in the second half of the season which coincided with an injury to Morgan Schneiderlin as this meant he had to play at the base of the midfield instead of farther forward. Deano is not really suited to being an attacking midfielder and seems slow and prone to getting caught in possession if he ever receives the ball with his back to the opposition.
The aforementioned MORGAN SCHNEIDERLIN has more ability than virtually anyone else but also has the ability to make himself invisible. Personally, I’d love to see him play farther forward and use the talent he has to create and score goals. For a player of his ability to have only 1 goal in three seasons is pretty poor, whichever way you look at it…. In fact it’s shite. There is a generally held opinion that he will be better in a better league and to an extent, I agree but unless the Championship has changed in the two years we’ve been away, it’s still largely kick and rush so he’s going to have to get stuck in – something he has got progressively better at doing this year. I haven’t checked yet but I bet I wrote virtually the same thing last year though he has managed not to get sent off this, despite the card waving best efforts of those great sports from Brighton.
Getting stuck in is not something RICHARD CHAPLOW has a problem with. In fact, he has a problem with getting stuck in too much. Sometimes it’s ok just to jockey the opposition player and make him go backwards but Chappers seems to have to pile in to the tackle every time he gets near anyone like a bald Paul Scholes. He must be a complete nightmare to play against, like an annoying yappy dog that continually bites your shoelaces but if anyone has spent a better £50k on a player then I’d be amazed. He is a real goal threat from central midfield which is something every team needs and he has been responsible for winning the ball back high up the pitch on a number of occasions this season. Season highlight was a cracking goal against Man Utd but equally memorable was him kicking the Brighton goalkeeper who desperately deserved it. Also, he obviously doesn’t like Darren Ferguson much which can only be a good thing and his goading of Fergie Zero at Peterborough was fabulous.
OSCAR GOBERN got the odd game towards the end of the season and the jury is still out on him. Despite his goal in the Brentford away game, his moment of the season was being our only player to get a red card with his hilarious Ninja tackle at Bournemouth when he had a go at heading and kicking a ball at the same time, when the ball was about 10 minutes away. Needs to go out on loan for a season in my opinion to see if there is a player in there or not and so see if the brain-to-legs messages actually work for a long period of time.
DALE STEPHENS joined on loan from Oldham in February and put in a few tidy performances and a couple of ineffectual ones. I don’t feel that he really grabbed the opportunity that he had and if it were down to me, I wouldn’t be taking up the option to buy him.
Then there was the dearly departed PAUL WOTTON who made a couple of appearances as a sub before being sold to Yeovil, whom he inspired enough to lift them out of the relegation zone. Yes he’s limited but for putting in 100% in every second he was on the pitch for SFC – we should remember him fondly... and I still want to hear his account of what life was like playing for the Dutch clowns.
Up front for the whole season except for the first match was SIR RICKIE LAMBERT who didn’t score the volume of goals he got last season but probably made a bigger contribution in terms of assists and general play. He did seem to be carrying and injury through to Christmas and seemed to be struggling. He came good when it mattered though and a little scoring spree at the business end of the season took him to 21 goals and got us over the line. Throughout, his play for the team was a constant and whoever he was partnered with, benefitted from his industry. He never seems to get given free kicks by referees anymore and I put this down to the fact that he doesn’t jump. Usually his positioning is good enough to get the flick on anyway. Has never played at Championship level and will need to stay off the pies and beer over the summer in order to be a potent force at that level but I think he’ll relish the challenge of being out of his comfort zone and having something to prove so expect Sir Rickie to be up near the top of the Championship scoring charts next season.
Sir Rickie has been partnered in the main by LEE BARNARD who was set to have a great season until he visited the Whitehouse and got in a ruck which ended in a trip to hospital. He was in the team at the time and was our best player but as a result of the injury picked up in the incident, was out of the team for three months afterwards. When on the pitch though, he’s been superb and always looked a threat and weighed in with a good amount of goals. His first touch sometimes lets him down and unless he improves that, quick defenders will just take it off him but here’s another striker with something to prove at Championship level and he should make the step up comfortably enough. Barney has recovered well from the respiratory problems caused by the Jaidi roll at Bournemouth.
Whilst Barney was out, GULY DO PRADO was pushed up front and was a revelation, showing a willingness to adapt his game and learn which would have been most surprising to anyone who saw his first few games when he sulked about in his gloves, looking cold and miserable. The one touch passes are a joy to watch at times and his ability to sometimes fall on his arse like Bambi on ice are very amusing. I don’t think he’s really a forward as he takes too long to get his shots away at times but give him the ball 30 yards out and he’s a real threat, either with a through ball or a hammer of a shot. With him, Lallana and Chamberlain – we’re lucky to have 3 players who are all a goal threat and who all work hard. There is a slight question mark against him in away matches where he can go missing but again, here’s a player who easily has enough ability to play in the Championship and I think he’ll be a massive player for us next season now he’s settled in.
DAVID CONNOLLY had a few games at the start of the season and then got injured, returning to play a few at the end when we really needed him when Barnard got injured. There is no doubt that he is class and his movement is better than anyone elses. He’s proved in the last few games that he should be offered a deal for next year and has been fit now for about 5 months so sort it out Nigel...
JONATHAN FORTE was signed to give us some pace up front and he seems to have loads of it. The question is – does he have the football brain to know when to use it? Scored two vital goals within seconds of coming on when we were 2-0 down against the Fake Dons but somewhat mysteriously, hardly played after that. Jury still out but having someone that quick can’t be a bad thing. His signing has brought the phrase ‘Does he have Johnno pace?’ into my vocabulary so we can thank him for that and he’s a model pro for anyone wanting to teach their kids how not to head a ball – sliding it off your nose is not the way to go.
End of Part 2
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