FA Cup 1st Round - Southampton 2 Shrewsbury 0

It’s time for the last cup competition that we are left in – The FA Cup. It still feels very odd to be playing in Round 1 but we are where we are and today we’ve got Shrewsbury who have already been beaten once over the ticket price thing. A crowd of just over 10,000 is a pretty good indicator that £15 a shot was the correct price as I reckon there would have been 2,000 down if it was £25. To be honest – I’m a bit disappointed we couldn’t muster 15,000 people but that’s the last talk of attendances.

My usual Kingsland seat is empty today due to the whole stand only being populated with ball boys and television cameras, who will be filming across the pitch, looking at the full Itchen stand. I am in the Northam behind the goal. Despite sitting/standing on the Milton Road end of The Dell for 25 years and in the Chapel for the first couple of years at SMS, it now feels very odd to be watching from an end rather than from the side. When I saw the 2003 FA Cup Semi Final at Villa Park (Ormerod – get in!!!) I had a seat on the half way line and that view, combined with the objectional bugger we sat next to at SMS that season, meant that we moved to the Kingsland from the start of the 2003/4 season. Aside from the view – the most noticeable difference is the 50 year difference in the average age of the supporters. In the Kingsland, I sit between my Dad (65) and Moses (83). Today I am sat next to two kids who are about 14 and 12.

To the team and Nigel rested Sir Rickie and Jose Fonte and recalled The Gulyman (with new haircut, now looking like BA Baracus without the bling) and Radhi Jaidi. The Saints dugout area had two portable hospital beds in it which was strange until you realised that David Connolly and Lee Holmes were both on the bench. Between them they have had 263 separate injuries in their time with Saints. Shrewsbury had no one I’d heard of aside from centre back, Exodus Geohaghon who I’ve only heard of because he’s always on those ‘Top 10 Footballers Names’ lists, alongside Stefan Kuntz, Danny Shittu, Bernt Haas and the legend that was Brian Pinas.

Saints started relatively well with Chappers firing over and it looked like Shrewsbuy had come with very limited ambition and we were going to see lots of efforts on goal from the boys in the Sash. Sadly, we were wrong and so ensued lots of huff and puff and very little in the way of goalscoring chances. Big Exodus was making his mark, mainly by lumbering across to take defensive throws from the right back area which is ridiculous.

25 minutes had passed before anything of note happened with Lallana swinging in a free kick which was met by The Gulyman, whose decent header beat the keeper but was headed off the line. From the resulting corner, I got to watch at close quarters as Deano ran in like a gazelle, rose majestically like a salmon leaping from the water and then shut his eyes like a big fucking girl who was frightened of ruining her make up and headed it over the bar.

What’s this ? Shrewsbury are attacking and Superkelv has to get down to push a volleyed effort from Holden around the post. From the corner, our chronically shit marking at corners is once again to the fore as there is a free header at the back stick which Kelvin again claws away. Not heeding the warnings, we let them have another go as Oh-bla-di-oh-bla-dah cuts in from the left and fizzes in a rising drive with Kelvin has to tip over.

Saints are shite and the leader in shiteness is Guly who seems to have lost his first touch as soon as it started raining and is now resembling a person who has never ever seen a football. Lallana and Chaplow are showing how to play the game with Lallana giving their right back kittens every time he gets it and Chaplow being everywhere, winning tackles and driving forwards to decent effect. He is noticeably improving with every game as he gets fitter and I’m already hoping we get to sign him permanently in January.

Half time, 0-0, bollocks.

The opening of the second half is all probing without going anywhere from Saints, resolute defending from Shrewsbury and singing from the Northam End. I know they are responsible for 99% of the atmosphere inside the ground but you can tell that the game is shit when we have 10 minutes of “we’re the right side / left side / Northam over ‘ere” and “Chapel / Itchen / Kingsland (irony!) give us a song".

The chances began to come as Guly got on the end of a Lallana pass and his snap shot was saved comfortably by the keeper before a booming cross by Richardson was nodded down by Lallana to where the onrushing Chaplow was, half a second after it was cleared. Once again Chaplow stole into the box and this time he managed to force is past the keeper but some bugger on the line cleared it again. Then Lallana had one of those ones on his right foot from the left and he curled it well wide.

Alex Chamberlain, who today only shines in little bursts is replaced with Sir Rickie with The Gulyman, who has somehow survived being substituted, moving to the right wing. Sir Rickie’s first touch is to fire a free kick just over but afterwards, his introduction really makes very little difference to the pattern of play and we’re totally relying on Lallana coming up with a piece of magic or Chaplow bursting onto something.

Five to go and still 0-0 and Nigel’s last throw of the dice was to ensure that the Saints medical insurance went up by bringing on Connolly and Holmes for Barnard and the Gulyman who had finally succeeded in getting into the dry after 85 minutes of trying. Last week I told of me saying Chamberlain was quiet and he immediately scored. This week, my Dad was moaning about “Adkins says he wants impact players on the bench, what impact are these two going to have?”

The game finished and Saints had won 2-0 with Connolly scoring one and setting up the other. How’s that for impact? The ‘3 minutes’ board had just gone up and Harding forced a save out of the keeper with the ball going loose before being seized upon by Connolly who despite slipping, fired into the ground and into the top of the net. From the kick off, the ball was won and worked out the Connolly on the left wing where he waited before perfectly feeding Lallana to give him another of those ones on his right foot from the left and this time the curler bulged the net. Full time, 2-0 have a nice trip home.

Well – we won, that’s all you can say. For the vast majority of the game we were complete shite and it was a total bore to watch but it’s the cup so even more than usual, it’s just about winning. I felt a bit sorry for Shrewsbury at the end as they didn’t deserve to lose 2-0. Of course if any side deserved to win then it was us as in Chaplow and Lallana, we had the two best players on the pitch and we were doing all the pressing but it was harsh on them to be two minutes from a replay (where our fans would have been charged £100 a ticket or something) only to get it snatched away. They defended well against our limited attacking threat and were basically unlucky not to get a draw. That said, they didn’t get near our goal in the second half and any decent midfield play they had was ruined by a non-existent final ball. They were better than a lot of the teams down here this season though and good luck to them in getting promoted.

Saints now enter a run of games that can shape the season – Carlisle away, Peterborough home, Brighton home. 9 points from that lot and we’ll be laughing, 7 points and we’ll be mildly chortling, 6 and we’ll be annoyed about the one we lost, 0-5 points and it’ll be suicide time and don’t read the messageboards.

As for me – I’m the left side over ‘ere.