Hands up if you think Morgan hides !!! It seems like ages since we last had a game and of course, it was. 11 days ago, Saints beat Bournemouth to seemingly have got the season up and running and here we are with another home game following last weeks postponement caused by the untimely death of Markus Liebherr. MK Dons agreed to our request for the cancellation of last weeks game and fair play to them. I have always been fiercely critical of MK Dons, down to their right to exist but they as a club displayed a certain amount of class over this issue, even Karl Robinson. That’s as close to an apology as you’re going to get and both barrels will be blazing come the rearranged fixture.
To today and we have Leyton Orient at home and they’ve started with a 100% record of defeats. With our players all rested and fit and the additional Markus factor – surely we’d be too strong for them and get the league campaign off of its ass. Pards had his full squad to choose from (aside from Richardson) and so we saw what is his first XI. Davis; Butterfield, Fonte, Jaidi, Harding; Puncheon, Hammond, Schneiderlin, Lallana; Barnard, Sir Rickie.
As is the norm, Saints started well and Orient soon had a keeper, a line of four defenders and a line of five midfeilders, all within 25 yards of their goal. Here we go again. Regardless, Saints were playing well and threatening to overrun them when Barnard got the ball in the inside left position and curled a shot onto the inside of the far post, from where it rebounded back to the keeper who had just watched it. More Saints pressure and five minutes later we were in the lead when Lallana was tripped on the edge of the box. Oh, I wonder who’s going to take it. Sir Rickie, bang, big deflection, 1-0. Come on!!!!
There are many fundamentals of football but one of them is about concentrating when you’ve just scored and another says that if you give away a corner and give the opposition a free header from 5 fucking yards, it’s not going to be a good outcome for you. 1-1. We were very susceptible to this type of goal at the start of last year but the signing of Jaidi had seemed to sort this out. It was a bloody terrible goal to concede, simply because any side can score it – they don’t have to be any good. Cross into the box, free header, goal – it’s simple if you let it happen. Maybe I’m being harsh here but I feel that we will always be likely to concede this type of goal with Kelvin Davis in goal as there seems to be no consistent pattern for when he comes and when he is nailed to the goal line like Monty Python’s Norwegian Blue Parrot was nailed to his perch.
Still – we went straight up the other end and again from the inside left position, Barnard fired a rocket at the top corner which was in all the way until Jones the keeper, threw up an arm and deflected it over – brilliant save and another head in hands moment for Barnard.
Orient made occasional attempts to get in our half but their midfield was so deep when they were defending, in order to get in our half they had to make a 40 yard run which would have made them a bit tired. For us, Lallana was looking very good and Sir Rickie was on the end of everything, threatening the goal and threatening to tee up others with his intelligent knock downs. It was still 1-1 at half time however and the players had a half time huddle before they went off which was a bit odd.
Talking of odd - the Chuckle Brothers are providing me with half-time entertainment and the Clever one (“Why do they win all the headers ?”) come out with, “we keep shooting and their keeper keeps saving it – the problem is that it’s giving him confidence isn’t it”. What are we supposed to do you fucking moron, not shoot in case he saves it.
The first Saints incident of not in the second half was a break upfield where Punch took time off from repeatedly losing the ball and fed Schneiderlin who had taken time out from being invisible - but rather than take on the full back, the Frenchman decided to throw himself to the ground and in my opinion was lucky not to get booked. Never a penalty in a million years.
Lee Barnard was still on his one man mission to not score and after making himself room in the box, hammered a shot goalwards which Jones again, expertly tipped over the bar. He was now getting annoying, as was the frame of the goal as Barnard looped in a header before seeing it rebound off the post before Punch hooked the rebound over the bar. Jeezus!!!
Orient had this stumpy little git No 7 called Cox who saw Davis claim the ball off of him and he decided to have a little dig. Kelvin condescendingly pats him on the head like you do to a small child he has another go before the ref blows his whistle and does nothing. In the meantime, Saints make two subs with Chamberlain and Connolly coming on for Hammond and Barnard. Compare and contrast the two substituted players. Barnard had run himself into the ground and been really unlucky not to score on four occasions thanks to woodwork and keeper, whilst Hammond had done precisely sod all, all game aside from watching it pass him by.
Chamberlain immediately make things happen with a run and cross which eludes everyone until it reaches Harding on the far side who really should have scored but spooned it over the bar from about 3 yards. Chamberlain was clipped as he went past the full back and the lino flagged. The ref waved play on though and it seemed that all our players stopped playing.
Cox and Harding then have a bit of handbags and Cox gets yellow as the ref points to where the incident with Davis took place, clearly implying that two incidents make a yellow. Harding then gets booked for the one incident. League 1 refs, love ‘em. The game is petering out and nothing is giving me much confidence that we’re going to score until the ball comes out to Puncheon on the edge of the box, on his favourite left foot and he….. hits the fucking roof. At a conservative estimate, five goals on top of eachother wouldn’t have been high enough.
The Thick Chuckle Brother with the programme was moaning like a bastard by this point and had rolled up his programme and was making farting noises down it for the listening pleasure of me and those around me. I pondered asking him to get the online version of the programme for the next game but thought this would be too subtle for his intellect but sadly, he got up and left before I could get round to my next thought which of course, would have involved violence.
The five minutes of injury time come and go with nothing happening so we’ve dropped another two points and the Orient players celebrate in front of their couple of hundred fans like they’ve just won the League. It’s bloody annoying but that’s what we’re going to get this season and we have to get used to it. As of now – we haven’t.
Dear oh dear. As with the Plymouth game, one shot for the opposition and one goal, no breaks at all for us and we end up dropping points again. Unlike the previous two games, the crowd (having listened to Pards post match interview) got behind the team from the start to the finish with very little in the way of negativity, if you ignore the Chuckle Brothers. However, I’m going to have a moan now about my favourite topic, the centre of our midfield. Hammond was desperately poor today and totally deserved to get substituted and Schneiderlin played hide and seek virtually all game. I swear he runs round the pitch and every time Jaidi gets the ball he says, you count to 20, I’ll hide and you hoof it up the pitch. What is Jaidi supposed to do with the ball if none of the midfield want the ball. Franz Beckenbauer he isn’t so if no one shows, and neither Hammond or Schneiderlin ever do, then he’s going to belt it in the general direction of Sir Rickie and hope for the best. Also, when the opposition have the ball – too many times the pair of them are cut out by one pass as they’re too square to eachother. They’re just ineffective, offering nothing to the attack or the defence. Lallana also did nothing in the second half having looked very good in the first but Puncheon leaves me scratching my head. I will say this for him – he never ever hides and always wants the ball but today he seemed to just fuck it up 95% of the time. The odd good thing but in the main, aaaargh !!!
We wouldn’t be worrying about any of this though, if Lee Barnard had any luck at all. The two in the first half in particular were unbelievable as he couldn’t possibly have done any more – the keeper had a blinder and when he was beaten, the post did the job for him. I’m sure that Pards’ substitutions will be criticized but I think bring Chamberlain on for Hammond was dead right and though it took a risk, almost won us the game. Connolly on for Barnard was more contentious but there really aren’t many options at the moment. We need to bring a couple in and they have to have pace. The lack of pace going forward is alarming, especially when you factor in that Punch has to check onto his left foot before he crosses any ball.
To today and we have Leyton Orient at home and they’ve started with a 100% record of defeats. With our players all rested and fit and the additional Markus factor – surely we’d be too strong for them and get the league campaign off of its ass. Pards had his full squad to choose from (aside from Richardson) and so we saw what is his first XI. Davis; Butterfield, Fonte, Jaidi, Harding; Puncheon, Hammond, Schneiderlin, Lallana; Barnard, Sir Rickie.
As is the norm, Saints started well and Orient soon had a keeper, a line of four defenders and a line of five midfeilders, all within 25 yards of their goal. Here we go again. Regardless, Saints were playing well and threatening to overrun them when Barnard got the ball in the inside left position and curled a shot onto the inside of the far post, from where it rebounded back to the keeper who had just watched it. More Saints pressure and five minutes later we were in the lead when Lallana was tripped on the edge of the box. Oh, I wonder who’s going to take it. Sir Rickie, bang, big deflection, 1-0. Come on!!!!
There are many fundamentals of football but one of them is about concentrating when you’ve just scored and another says that if you give away a corner and give the opposition a free header from 5 fucking yards, it’s not going to be a good outcome for you. 1-1. We were very susceptible to this type of goal at the start of last year but the signing of Jaidi had seemed to sort this out. It was a bloody terrible goal to concede, simply because any side can score it – they don’t have to be any good. Cross into the box, free header, goal – it’s simple if you let it happen. Maybe I’m being harsh here but I feel that we will always be likely to concede this type of goal with Kelvin Davis in goal as there seems to be no consistent pattern for when he comes and when he is nailed to the goal line like Monty Python’s Norwegian Blue Parrot was nailed to his perch.
Still – we went straight up the other end and again from the inside left position, Barnard fired a rocket at the top corner which was in all the way until Jones the keeper, threw up an arm and deflected it over – brilliant save and another head in hands moment for Barnard.
Orient made occasional attempts to get in our half but their midfield was so deep when they were defending, in order to get in our half they had to make a 40 yard run which would have made them a bit tired. For us, Lallana was looking very good and Sir Rickie was on the end of everything, threatening the goal and threatening to tee up others with his intelligent knock downs. It was still 1-1 at half time however and the players had a half time huddle before they went off which was a bit odd.
Talking of odd - the Chuckle Brothers are providing me with half-time entertainment and the Clever one (“Why do they win all the headers ?”) come out with, “we keep shooting and their keeper keeps saving it – the problem is that it’s giving him confidence isn’t it”. What are we supposed to do you fucking moron, not shoot in case he saves it.
The first Saints incident of not in the second half was a break upfield where Punch took time off from repeatedly losing the ball and fed Schneiderlin who had taken time out from being invisible - but rather than take on the full back, the Frenchman decided to throw himself to the ground and in my opinion was lucky not to get booked. Never a penalty in a million years.
Lee Barnard was still on his one man mission to not score and after making himself room in the box, hammered a shot goalwards which Jones again, expertly tipped over the bar. He was now getting annoying, as was the frame of the goal as Barnard looped in a header before seeing it rebound off the post before Punch hooked the rebound over the bar. Jeezus!!!
Orient had this stumpy little git No 7 called Cox who saw Davis claim the ball off of him and he decided to have a little dig. Kelvin condescendingly pats him on the head like you do to a small child he has another go before the ref blows his whistle and does nothing. In the meantime, Saints make two subs with Chamberlain and Connolly coming on for Hammond and Barnard. Compare and contrast the two substituted players. Barnard had run himself into the ground and been really unlucky not to score on four occasions thanks to woodwork and keeper, whilst Hammond had done precisely sod all, all game aside from watching it pass him by.
Chamberlain immediately make things happen with a run and cross which eludes everyone until it reaches Harding on the far side who really should have scored but spooned it over the bar from about 3 yards. Chamberlain was clipped as he went past the full back and the lino flagged. The ref waved play on though and it seemed that all our players stopped playing.
Cox and Harding then have a bit of handbags and Cox gets yellow as the ref points to where the incident with Davis took place, clearly implying that two incidents make a yellow. Harding then gets booked for the one incident. League 1 refs, love ‘em. The game is petering out and nothing is giving me much confidence that we’re going to score until the ball comes out to Puncheon on the edge of the box, on his favourite left foot and he….. hits the fucking roof. At a conservative estimate, five goals on top of eachother wouldn’t have been high enough.
The Thick Chuckle Brother with the programme was moaning like a bastard by this point and had rolled up his programme and was making farting noises down it for the listening pleasure of me and those around me. I pondered asking him to get the online version of the programme for the next game but thought this would be too subtle for his intellect but sadly, he got up and left before I could get round to my next thought which of course, would have involved violence.
The five minutes of injury time come and go with nothing happening so we’ve dropped another two points and the Orient players celebrate in front of their couple of hundred fans like they’ve just won the League. It’s bloody annoying but that’s what we’re going to get this season and we have to get used to it. As of now – we haven’t.
Dear oh dear. As with the Plymouth game, one shot for the opposition and one goal, no breaks at all for us and we end up dropping points again. Unlike the previous two games, the crowd (having listened to Pards post match interview) got behind the team from the start to the finish with very little in the way of negativity, if you ignore the Chuckle Brothers. However, I’m going to have a moan now about my favourite topic, the centre of our midfield. Hammond was desperately poor today and totally deserved to get substituted and Schneiderlin played hide and seek virtually all game. I swear he runs round the pitch and every time Jaidi gets the ball he says, you count to 20, I’ll hide and you hoof it up the pitch. What is Jaidi supposed to do with the ball if none of the midfield want the ball. Franz Beckenbauer he isn’t so if no one shows, and neither Hammond or Schneiderlin ever do, then he’s going to belt it in the general direction of Sir Rickie and hope for the best. Also, when the opposition have the ball – too many times the pair of them are cut out by one pass as they’re too square to eachother. They’re just ineffective, offering nothing to the attack or the defence. Lallana also did nothing in the second half having looked very good in the first but Puncheon leaves me scratching my head. I will say this for him – he never ever hides and always wants the ball but today he seemed to just fuck it up 95% of the time. The odd good thing but in the main, aaaargh !!!
We wouldn’t be worrying about any of this though, if Lee Barnard had any luck at all. The two in the first half in particular were unbelievable as he couldn’t possibly have done any more – the keeper had a blinder and when he was beaten, the post did the job for him. I’m sure that Pards’ substitutions will be criticized but I think bring Chamberlain on for Hammond was dead right and though it took a risk, almost won us the game. Connolly on for Barnard was more contentious but there really aren’t many options at the moment. We need to bring a couple in and they have to have pace. The lack of pace going forward is alarming, especially when you factor in that Punch has to check onto his left foot before he crosses any ball.
Orient were incredibly limited and had no real ideas coming forward. All we had to do was defend corners really and they would never have scored... but we didn't and to be fair, they defended well and the keeper deserved the point they got for his performance alone.
For the Bolton game in midweek, I’d like to see us go 4-5-1 with Chamberlain and Dickson on the wings and just Barnard up front – keep Sir Rickie and Lallana back for the league until they are fully fit. My post match piss was again taken to the background music of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’. I won’t stop believing but it’s difficult sometimes.
For the Bolton game in midweek, I’d like to see us go 4-5-1 with Chamberlain and Dickson on the wings and just Barnard up front – keep Sir Rickie and Lallana back for the league until they are fully fit. My post match piss was again taken to the background music of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’. I won’t stop believing but it’s difficult sometimes.
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