Pardew sacked, Here we go again !!!

Thanks for the memories.

This morning I was phoned by my Dad and got the old ‘Have you heard the news ?’ question. To be fair, I did it to him last time when Markus Liebherr passed away. This time it was a very short conversation…

‘Have you heard the news?’,
‘No , what, have we signed someone ?’,
‘Not as such, Pardew’s been sacked’,
’Oh for fucks sake’

I suppose that after 13 months of stability it was high time for it all to go to shit again.

What is cast iron undeniable is that three games into a season, two days before the transfer window shuts is a fucking stupid time to change managers through choice. What is also undeniable is that the team has just won 4-0 away from home which is the kind of result that usually kick-starts a run of wins. I just don’t get it which is why I think this has got sod all to do with football. We have been progressing and gradually getting better and better for the past year and the upward trend has shown no real signs of falling away. There is always going to be the odd bump in the road but you have to look at the bigger picture.

The timing of the decision is bizarre, unless of course, there is a manager waiting in the wings to take over… and if there is, it had better be a good one. Not one of the usual failures like Iain Dowie, not a novice like Paul Tisdale or Eddie Howe (their time will come), not a fucking idiot like Phil Brown and not and not a foreign manager who has no idea of League 1 or Championship football (I heard Zola mentioned). If we go near Sven… lock up your daughters and lock up Markus' wallet. It’s a massive decision for Nicola Cortese because probably 95% of Saints fans thought we were going up this year with Alan Pardew in charge. That’s a very large percentage of the fanbase who will not be best pleased if the new manager doesn’t do it. To be honest though, with the players we have, you wouldn’t even have to be a very good manager to get us promoted this year.

What of the players…. Nearly all of them have been brought to the club by Pardew. If you look at the starting XI on Saturday, only Davis, Schneiderlin and Lallana were here already. Ask anyone who our better players are and they’ll say Fonte and Lambert, both signed by Pardew, not to mention Barnard, Connolly, Harding, Martin, Jaidi, Butterfield, Dickson, Puncheon. Make no mistake, fans of other teams will be amazed. I don’t think he bought in a bad player to the club in his time here which is quite remarkable given the number… not sure about Seaborne yet though, I have to say. Uaully, players just get on with it as they're used to it but there is always the worry that some may be unsettled and leave, especially when Pardew resurfaces somewhere else.

Oh yeah… and the papers will have a bloody field day and it will keep ‘South Coast Team’ in the papers for all the wrong reasons, especially if we don’t maintain the upward momentum. Good luck Nicola – choose wisely.

As for Alan Pardew, as regular readers will know, I like the guy. After that Dutch twat(s) and George Burley, I found him honest, forthright and interesting when interviewed and loved the fact that he spoke common sense. The team was set up the right way and tried to play the right way and as I said, we were progressing which for me was enough after the five year slide we’d been on. I am 100% convinced that we would have got promoted this year with him in charge and we still might of course, but for now it’s up in the air. To the football world, Pards has enhanced his reputation whilst at Saints. They will think that he’s come in to a team in disarray and on -10, build a squad that would have made the playoffs but for the -10, won the JPT and would have gone up this year. He’ll get another job soon and it will be at a higher level than League 1 and as far as I’m concerned, he will have earned it and good luck to the guy.

Saints now have Dean Wilkins in charge for the time being and one thing you can be sure of, is that he will be sacked as soon as the new man is appointed. I’m pretty disappointed with what’s gone on and would like to know the non-football reasons for this happening. I doubt I ever will though so like football supporters the world over, I’ll just get on with it and hope to Christ that we get someone decent in. Martin O’Neill would do…

So I'd like to say thanks to Alan Pardew for giving me a great season to watch last year, a win at Wembley and an upwardly mobile team. Good luck with whatever you do next.

League 1 Match 3 - Bristol Rovers 0 Southampton 4

The now 'Limited Edition' Guly shirt.

My word, an away game…. and a nice one for us as it was at Bristol Rovers where we won twice last year. In the second one of those wins, we battered them 5-1 and hopefully that result would still be in their minds as we could do with a repeat. Of course, Sir Rickie was returning to his former club and you know what always happens when a striker returns. Also, Rovers have a defence as reliable as Pompey’s finances and have let in something like 15 goals already this season so after one point from two home matches, the season has to start here really.

To the teams and Saints are unchanged from the Bolton game, meaning that deservedly, Aaron Martin keeps his place. Onto the subs bench went Guly do Prado who has mercifully seen the light and had ‘DO PRADO’ put on his shirt instead of ‘GULY’, ‘TESTICLE’ or ‘BOLLOCK’. the GULY shirt he was holding up for the website picture is now I assume, a collectors item. I’m listening to Uncle Dave Merrington on Radio Solent and as the frequencies are split and the Skates re-tune to a less desirable frequency, I find myself at St Mary’s with my kids, buying tickets for the JPT game on Tuesday. Did you know that they went to charge £10.50 for a car parking space for that game. I shit ye not – you can park in the centre of London for that. Anyway…

Whilst I was reeling from being offered a gold plated parking space, Sir Rickie rode a tackle and smashed a shot narrowly wide of the near post. The kids and I (with radio earpiece in) are around the front of SMS when Puncheon whips in a corner and Jose Fonte gets in front of his man to put Saints in front. I punch the air and do a little dance, my kids wonder what I’m on and Ted Bates stands, smiles and waves.

It’s all Saints and we’re failing to score a second and Rovers have a chance when a header comes in from a corner and Superkelv pulls off one of those saves that makes you forgive all the ‘nailed to the goal-line stuff’. It’s a turning point though as on the half hour, Hammond lines up a blockbuster, takes a massive swing and scuffs it along the ground right into the path of Lallana who is 6 yards out, onside and with no one near him. 2-0.

The second half starts and is barely two minutes old when Lallana’s knee has packed up again and he’s replaced by Ryan Dickson. Dickson takes all off ten minutes to make an impression as he picks up puncheon’s overhit cross on the left and returns it into the middle, where Lee Barnard tries to shield it with his back to goal, only for a Gas defender to cart him up in the air in extremely amateurish fashion. Sir Rickie, botton left, 3-0, Game. Over. He said he wouldn’t celebrate and he didn’t.

Dickson is having a great impact on the left wing and skins his man before pulling back to Sir Rickie who with the whole goal to aim at, hammers is straight back towards Dickson to give the Gas fans something to chuckle about. No matter though as we’re about to have a Brazilian as Guly warms up. First Brazilian in 116 years quotes Uncle Dave but it’s a dummy and he sits down again. Rovers fashion a rare chance for themselves as Sawyer conjures up a dipping volley from the left wing which everyone stood and watched as it pinged off of the bar on the far side.

We are needing some Guly and we don’t get it – we get David Connolly coming on for Sir Rickie – still not firing on all cylinders but getting there. We have to wait until the last five minutes for the moment we’ve all been waiting for, now that the game has been won and which player would be kicked in the Guly’s. Come in Mr Schneiderlin, your time is up. Deano immediately gives the new arrival the ball and he gets caught in possession – welcome to League 1.

Uncle Dave forgets all about the other players on the pitch and just does Guly-watch for five minutes which is actually quite good and also gives the impression that he was involved throughout when ‘tackling back like Patrick Vieira’ and ‘getting annoyed when Connolly had a shot instead of teeing him up’. Sounds promising.

Our best palyer this season has of course been Lee Barnard but as we know, he hasn’t scored. This was sorted out in the 94th minutes to send everyone home happy as Punch cut infield, fed Hammond who helped it on first time to Barnard who crashed it into the net. Nice finish and a nice way to end the game and get the league season up and running.

Isn’t it nice to win a game and win it well and especially as it was away from home against a side expected to finish in the top 10. It sounds to me like Bristol Rovers were almost beaten before they started today as a result of us beating them 5-1 last season and didn’t really put up much of a fight. If teams are beaten before they start against us then that’s great. The one worry is of course Lallana’s injury which doesn’t sound like it’s going to go away on its own without a longish layoff. Ryan Dickson I’m sure will prove to be an able deputy if that scenario does indeed occur. We also have Heather Mills who can slot in there as well as well as the walking waste of space that is Lee Holmes.

Uncle Dave was talking about Sir Rickie after the match saying that he hoped Lambert doesn’t take it for granted and that he keeps his work rate up and stays fit – basically implying that he’s a fat lad who may rest on his laurels. Personally, I think Dave’s talking shite on this one. For starters, Lambert doesn’t seem like the Billy Big Bollocks type to think he doesn’t have to train too hard and secondly, he’s been injured and missed a load of pre-season. Also – being 29 he must know that whilst time is not running out, he needs to really be playing in the Championship next season which will only be achieved by hard work and him scoring loads of goals for us this season.

Next up we are defending our trophy. It’s our trophy Swindon and you’re not having it and I expect us to have a near-as-dammit full side out with maybe only Lallana missing. It will of course be interesting to see if Guly do Prado starts and I think that maybe David Connolly may get a run out in place of Barnard.

Having spent the duration of the game driving my kids to various parks and shops around town, I was heading home at 5pm and drove past St Mary’s as the radio was telling me that Saints had won 4-0 and Pompey were bottom of the Championship. Ted Bates smiled and waved as we went by.

Carling Cup 2nd Round - Southampton 0 Bolton 1

1979.... when the League Cup were a proper competition

The League Cup is a funny beast. When I started watching football in the 70s, it had just become a big deal and Saints reached the final in 1979 which was my first proper visit to Wembley. My actual first visit was the charity Shield in 1976 but 1979 was the first ‘real’ experienced. It mattered, I was desperate for us to win, we lost and I cried all the way home. I was 36. In fact, I was only 10. I dunno when the League Cup started to lose its status but I’m guessing it was the Premiership started and it became seriously more important to stay up than win a cup. The Premiership sides don’t really give a shit and tonight, even though we’re playing Bolton who are hardly a Premiership leading light, it showed.

Always a poorly supported side when they play down here, Bolton have about 200 fans in the ground and their team shows 9 changes from their away win at West Ham at the weekend. I guess that sentimentality is one of the reasons why Kevin Davies is one of the two to survive. He’s had a good career and has never got the recognition he deserves. He of course had two spells with Saints, one for a season where his value went from £1m to £7.5m when we flogged him to Blackburn where “cows arse” and “banjo” were often heard in sentences along with his name. Rejoining Saints a year or so later to much fanfare and very little end product – it seemed he was on the way down but he’s been a brilliant player for Bolton and fair play to him. Emile Heskey has won approximately 60 England caps and Kevin Davies has none… says it all.

Sentimentality plays no part for us with ex-Bolton player Radhi Jaidi benched and replaced with Aaron Martin which is the only change from Saturday. We have a new signing but he’s not available due to red tape. Guillerme do Prado is an attacking central midfielder and he does by the name of ‘Guly’ which, in a headline writers dream, is pronounced ‘Gooley’ which is a very underused word these days. I wonder if he has a brother as you need a pair really and I also wonder who has explained it to him. John Toshack caused much hilarity when he went to manage in Turkey as apparently “Toshok” is the Turkish word for Guly. More importantly, who would he replace in the starting XI, Hammond or Schneiderlin. Maybe tonights game would be an audition.

It was the League Cup different seat lottery and so we ended up right in the middle of a row, which was amusing because we got there right on kick off. Some Kingsland old bugger who had to get up to let me get to my seat commented, ‘I hate people coming in late’. Cheeky bastard. I was at work in Brighton at 5.30 and lucky to get there at all. At 5.30, he was probably in his rest home on The Avenue, having his dinner served on one of those special trays.

Saints started well and the first near miss was a shot from a narrow angle, just over the bar from Barnard. Bolton were exactly as you expected them to be – quite direct and powerful but Saints were standing up well with Martin not looking overawed at the back. Pards had obviously had a word with Puncheon after Saturday as he was getting the ball in first time without cutting back onto his left foot. He was also looking fitter and finding more space and drew a decent save out of the keeper who had ginger hair and an orange kit The Northam End christened him The Wotsit and I’ll run with that.

We look ok up front but Sir Rickie is still not up to speed but maybe it’s the Premiership defenders making him look ever slower. He’s still a handful when the ball is there to be competed for but when the ball is on the floor then they always seem to be one step ahead of him. On the other hand, Lallana has so much skill and is repeatedly worrying the Bolton defenders with his ability to ghost into space and keep the ball under control in the exact opposite way to Paul Wotton in every respect. Barnard’s luck for the season shows no sign of changing as he again managed to get free and hammer in an excellent shot, only to see it brilliantly tipped away by the Wotsit. It’s no exaggeration to say that he could have 5 goals already this season but he has none.

The referee then showed himself to be an arse and for the rest of the first half it was ‘look at me, I’ve got a whistle and I’m an irritating shit’. The first incident came when Blake tangled with Harding and the linesman gave it our way. Blake had hold of the ball and threw it at the linesman. Not hard I grant you and he didn’t deserve to be sent off but he didn’t even get booked.

Just after the half hour, Bolton put together a class move as Ricketts totally skinned Lallana and Harding down the left and hung up a peach of a cross to where Davies slightly shoved Butterfield in the back before nodding down for Klasnic to score. Bolton celebrated like they’d just scored a goal in training – not bothered. Saints appeared bothered though and back they came with Lallana. He was worrying Bolton every time he got it, never more so than when he linked with Barnard and went down in the box. I didn’t think it was a penalty and none of the players really appealed which was enough for the Whistling Arse to book him for diving. We managed to waste a glorious chance to level right on half time as Lallana won the ball, to Barnard, to Puncheon, nice through ball back to Lallana in the inside left position 15 yards out, from where he curled it wide when he really should have done better.

Half time, 1-0 down but playing ok. As Bolton emerged from the tunnel and lined up, we had Matt Taylor over our side of the pitch. He’s the one I remember most from our infamous 4-1 defeat at Fratton Dump – giving our fans the large one. He’s got the obligatory footballer sleeve of tattoos. It looks ok on some players because it fits their image – Marco Materazzi for example is a hard bastard and the tats add to that image. Matt Taylor looks soft as shite so the tats just make him look like a twat. Though he’s an ex-Saint, Wayne Bridge falls into this category as well.

Anyway, I digress – back to the game and Aaron Martin is continuing his good game, giving Davies as good as he gets. He sometimes takes the old maxim of ‘play the way you’re facing’ a bit seriously which leads to him clearing it 50 yards the wrong way on occasions but the boy is doing well. We are competing well all over the pitch, with Captain Deano leading the way and smashing into whoever came near him.

Punch playing well today and combined well again with Barnard before again drilling in a low shot which was fumbled and recovered by the Wotsit. The Wotsit is at it again a few minutes later when Sir Rickie sets up Butterfield 25 yards out who hits a decent low strike which is flapped off for a corner. As I said, Punch is having a decent game but he gets the crowd howling at him with two diabolical set piece deliveries in two minutes which both hit the first man, somewhere near the knee.

Bolton nearly clinched it soon after when Harding made a right bollocks of a Taylor cross, nodding it into the path of Elmander who hooked goalwards where Superkelv made an excellent save to tip over. By this time, Saints had thrown on Connolly, Chamberlain and Heather Mills and it was Connolly who came closest with the Wotsit tipping over his goalbound drive from the edge of the box. The final chance which you always get, unfortunately fell to Jose Fonte who chipped up Harding’s pass before trying to volley goal of the season and shanking it horribly wide.

The final whistle blew and though we’d lost, the crowd applauded the effort and there was no booing at all. A really good effort by Saints but again, no breaks and an inspired goalkeeper. We were unlucky to lose but I also think that Bolton could have put a lot more in if they’d wanted to. There were many positive thing to come out of it, especially in the performances of Aaron Martin and Adam Lallana, one proving that they could be a regular in the Saints side this season and the other proving that he wouldn’t look out of place in the Premiership. As for Hammond v Schneiderlin – only one winner in my book and he’s the one with the name my Dad can pronounce. Yes Hammond lost possession a couple of times through being too ponderous but he got through a lot of work and put in some big hits and got the crowd chanting his name. Morgan was Morgan as usual, did some lovely things to make space for himself but invariably did very little where it mattered.

If you want to look for another positive then this was our lowest priority competition of the season. You see, it’s not just the Premiership clubs who don’t care about the League Cup as teams looking for promotion or worrying about relegation don’t give a toss about it either.

League 1 Match 2 - Southampton 1 Leyton Orient 1

Hands up if you think Morgan hides !!!

It seems like ages since we last had a game and of course, it was. 11 days ago, Saints beat Bournemouth to seemingly have got the season up and running and here we are with another home game following last weeks postponement caused by the untimely death of Markus Liebherr. MK Dons agreed to our request for the cancellation of last weeks game and fair play to them. I have always been fiercely critical of MK Dons, down to their right to exist but they as a club displayed a certain amount of class over this issue, even Karl Robinson. That’s as close to an apology as you’re going to get and both barrels will be blazing come the rearranged fixture.

To today and we have Leyton Orient at home and they’ve started with a 100% record of defeats. With our players all rested and fit and the additional Markus factor – surely we’d be too strong for them and get the league campaign off of its ass. Pards had his full squad to choose from (aside from Richardson) and so we saw what is his first XI. Davis; Butterfield, Fonte, Jaidi, Harding; Puncheon, Hammond, Schneiderlin, Lallana; Barnard, Sir Rickie.

As is the norm, Saints started well and Orient soon had a keeper, a line of four defenders and a line of five midfeilders, all within 25 yards of their goal. Here we go again. Regardless, Saints were playing well and threatening to overrun them when Barnard got the ball in the inside left position and curled a shot onto the inside of the far post, from where it rebounded back to the keeper who had just watched it. More Saints pressure and five minutes later we were in the lead when Lallana was tripped on the edge of the box. Oh, I wonder who’s going to take it. Sir Rickie, bang, big deflection, 1-0. Come on!!!!

There are many fundamentals of football but one of them is about concentrating when you’ve just scored and another says that if you give away a corner and give the opposition a free header from 5 fucking yards, it’s not going to be a good outcome for you. 1-1. We were very susceptible to this type of goal at the start of last year but the signing of Jaidi had seemed to sort this out. It was a bloody terrible goal to concede, simply because any side can score it – they don’t have to be any good. Cross into the box, free header, goal – it’s simple if you let it happen. Maybe I’m being harsh here but I feel that we will always be likely to concede this type of goal with Kelvin Davis in goal as there seems to be no consistent pattern for when he comes and when he is nailed to the goal line like Monty Python’s Norwegian Blue Parrot was nailed to his perch.

Still – we went straight up the other end and again from the inside left position, Barnard fired a rocket at the top corner which was in all the way until Jones the keeper, threw up an arm and deflected it over – brilliant save and another head in hands moment for Barnard.

Orient made occasional attempts to get in our half but their midfield was so deep when they were defending, in order to get in our half they had to make a 40 yard run which would have made them a bit tired. For us, Lallana was looking very good and Sir Rickie was on the end of everything, threatening the goal and threatening to tee up others with his intelligent knock downs. It was still 1-1 at half time however and the players had a half time huddle before they went off which was a bit odd.

Talking of odd - the Chuckle Brothers are providing me with half-time entertainment and the Clever one (“Why do they win all the headers ?”) come out with, “we keep shooting and their keeper keeps saving it – the problem is that it’s giving him confidence isn’t it”. What are we supposed to do you fucking moron, not shoot in case he saves it.

The first Saints incident of not in the second half was a break upfield where Punch took time off from repeatedly losing the ball and fed Schneiderlin who had taken time out from being invisible - but rather than take on the full back, the Frenchman decided to throw himself to the ground and in my opinion was lucky not to get booked. Never a penalty in a million years.

Lee Barnard was still on his one man mission to not score and after making himself room in the box, hammered a shot goalwards which Jones again, expertly tipped over the bar. He was now getting annoying, as was the frame of the goal as Barnard looped in a header before seeing it rebound off the post before Punch hooked the rebound over the bar. Jeezus!!!

Orient had this stumpy little git No 7 called Cox who saw Davis claim the ball off of him and he decided to have a little dig. Kelvin condescendingly pats him on the head like you do to a small child he has another go before the ref blows his whistle and does nothing. In the meantime, Saints make two subs with Chamberlain and Connolly coming on for Hammond and Barnard. Compare and contrast the two substituted players. Barnard had run himself into the ground and been really unlucky not to score on four occasions thanks to woodwork and keeper, whilst Hammond had done precisely sod all, all game aside from watching it pass him by.

Chamberlain immediately make things happen with a run and cross which eludes everyone until it reaches Harding on the far side who really should have scored but spooned it over the bar from about 3 yards. Chamberlain was clipped as he went past the full back and the lino flagged. The ref waved play on though and it seemed that all our players stopped playing.

Cox and Harding then have a bit of handbags and Cox gets yellow as the ref points to where the incident with Davis took place, clearly implying that two incidents make a yellow. Harding then gets booked for the one incident. League 1 refs, love ‘em. The game is petering out and nothing is giving me much confidence that we’re going to score until the ball comes out to Puncheon on the edge of the box, on his favourite left foot and he….. hits the fucking roof. At a conservative estimate, five goals on top of eachother wouldn’t have been high enough.

The Thick Chuckle Brother with the programme was moaning like a bastard by this point and had rolled up his programme and was making farting noises down it for the listening pleasure of me and those around me. I pondered asking him to get the online version of the programme for the next game but thought this would be too subtle for his intellect but sadly, he got up and left before I could get round to my next thought which of course, would have involved violence.

The five minutes of injury time come and go with nothing happening so we’ve dropped another two points and the Orient players celebrate in front of their couple of hundred fans like they’ve just won the League. It’s bloody annoying but that’s what we’re going to get this season and we have to get used to it. As of now – we haven’t.

Dear oh dear. As with the Plymouth game, one shot for the opposition and one goal, no breaks at all for us and we end up dropping points again. Unlike the previous two games, the crowd (having listened to Pards post match interview) got behind the team from the start to the finish with very little in the way of negativity, if you ignore the Chuckle Brothers. However, I’m going to have a moan now about my favourite topic, the centre of our midfield. Hammond was desperately poor today and totally deserved to get substituted and Schneiderlin played hide and seek virtually all game. I swear he runs round the pitch and every time Jaidi gets the ball he says, you count to 20, I’ll hide and you hoof it up the pitch. What is Jaidi supposed to do with the ball if none of the midfield want the ball. Franz Beckenbauer he isn’t so if no one shows, and neither Hammond or Schneiderlin ever do, then he’s going to belt it in the general direction of Sir Rickie and hope for the best. Also, when the opposition have the ball – too many times the pair of them are cut out by one pass as they’re too square to eachother. They’re just ineffective, offering nothing to the attack or the defence. Lallana also did nothing in the second half having looked very good in the first but Puncheon leaves me scratching my head. I will say this for him – he never ever hides and always wants the ball but today he seemed to just fuck it up 95% of the time. The odd good thing but in the main, aaaargh !!!

We wouldn’t be worrying about any of this though, if Lee Barnard had any luck at all. The two in the first half in particular were unbelievable as he couldn’t possibly have done any more – the keeper had a blinder and when he was beaten, the post did the job for him. I’m sure that Pards’ substitutions will be criticized but I think bring Chamberlain on for Hammond was dead right and though it took a risk, almost won us the game. Connolly on for Barnard was more contentious but there really aren’t many options at the moment. We need to bring a couple in and they have to have pace. The lack of pace going forward is alarming, especially when you factor in that Punch has to check onto his left foot before he crosses any ball.

Orient were incredibly limited and had no real ideas coming forward. All we had to do was defend corners really and they would never have scored... but we didn't and to be fair, they defended well and the keeper deserved the point they got for his performance alone.

For the Bolton game in midweek, I’d like to see us go 4-5-1 with Chamberlain and Dickson on the wings and just Barnard up front – keep Sir Rickie and Lallana back for the league until they are fully fit. My post match piss was again taken to the background music of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’. I won’t stop believing but it’s difficult sometimes.

Markus Liebherr (1948 - 2010)

R.I.P.

Markus Liebherr came into the lives of Saints fans suddenly and departed in much the same way. In the summer of 2009 the club was in serious trouble and threatened with going out of business. The club needed to be saved and we needed a person or group to come forward and save it. We had a group of time wasters called Pinnacle who looked promising at one stage and always in the background we had the almost mythical ‘Swiss consortium’ but no one knew who they were. As Pinnacle faded away, the Swiss came to the fore and the name Liebherr was first mentioned amongst the Saints faithful. A quick Google threw the crane company at you which made sense a bit, due to their presence in Southampton Docks. As time went on, the identity of the particular Liebherr involved became known. Markus had been involved with the family business but had left to set up his own Mali group of companies. He was our man.

No one knew much about him and not many of us know much more now and you know what ?... we don’t need to. In the celebrity and wealth obsessed world that we live in, isn’t it nice to find a man who has made his money the right way, who wasn’t interested in the media or the limelight but wanted to own a football club and do some good with it, for the benefit and enjoyment of himself of course but mainly for the benefit and enjoyment of the supporters… that’s you and I. Given his personal wealth, he probably could have chosen just about anyone but he chose us. For that decision, like him or not, you have to thank Nicola Cortese who presented this fractured football club to Markus as an opportunity. Without Nicola, there would have been no Markus.

As I said, we don’t need to know anything about Markus aside from knowing that he saved the club. Not only that but he put it on the right path and in the right way, using the knowledge that he gained in becoming successful in his chosen field. He also, very obviously, enjoyed what the club gave him. I’ll always remember the camera – here’s a man worth billions who could hire the best photographer in the world if he wanted to – but there he was at Wembley, taking photos himself with a pocket camera like I was doing myself. When we won the JPT, the happiness it gave him was clear for all to see and we should be very thankful that we won that competition because it probably gave Markus one of the best days of his life. Sadly, if we win anything else, he won’t be there to see it but what’s tragic is that 62 is no age to go. Nicola Cortese said a while ago, words to the effect that Markus wanted a change of lifestyle and hence the purchase of the club. I guess it was Markus’ plan to spend less time working and more time following the Saints and shaping our future.

Let’s not underestimate his contribution here – the club could have gone out of existence which would have had massive repercussions on the city itself so he’s really has touched the lives of everyone who lives and works in the city, as well supporters of the club. As well as having been incredibly successful in business, more importantly he also appears to have been extremely likeable and normal, which you can pick up in any interview given by anyone who knew him. I don’t know why but it always made me smile whenever he was in the ground and you saw him on the big screen. Mind you, I sit directly opposite the Directors Box and you could always pick him out anyway. He had that presence.

We’ll miss him and we were lucky to have him. Rest In Peace big man.

Carling Cup 1st Round - Southampton 2 Bournemouth 0

Bournemouth fans unamused at losing

The big question for me on the lead up to this game was – ‘Do I hate Bournemouth like I hate the Skates?’. I was at the game in 1987 when we drew 2-2 and got knocked out 3-2 on aggregate and all I remember is Tim Flowers having a mare. I remember no feeling of hatred towards them or feeling any worse afterwards than I did when we lost to anyone really. Following their promotion last year, they are now in the same Division as us for the first time since the 60s I think which is a fact they have been playing up to. You expect it from the fans but you don’t really expect it from their chairman, who decided to stir it up a bit by calling us ‘stagnant’. You could say we were stagnant when we were finishing 4th bottom of the Prem every year but you can’t really say we’ve been stagnant as we’ve been plummeting down the divisions. It struck me a bit of cheap shot point scoring but each to their own.

Outside the ground there was no overbearing police presence and there was no sinister atmosphere, nor the smell of rotting fish. Inside there was a lot of Bournemouth fans but no real sense of aggro and I wasn’t sitting in my seat, seething at their presence in my ground. They tried to get a ‘scummers’ chant going which was a bit sad I thought.

To the teams and Saints changed a few from Saturday. Seaborne came in for Jaidi which Dickson replacing Harding at left back. The newly named Alex Chamberlain (nee Oxlade-Chamberlain) was on the right of midfield with Lallana fit to start on the left. Schneiderlin was clearly tired after his 20 minutes on Saturday and his place went to The Late Paul Wotton who is not called this because he is dead. Up front we had Barnard and Puncheon but the biggest cheer was for the inclusion of Sir Rickie on the bench. Another notable bench warmer was Tony Garrod, an academy striker who I knew nothing about at all. For Bournemouth, I was looking forward to seeing what Brett Pitman could do against Jose Fonte who would be the best defender he’s played against by a mile.

We made a decent start again and were buzzing around the Bournemouth box without working the keeper. Barnard was up front on his own really but was making a nuisance of himself and making a decent job of it. Punch initially looked like he was unsure of his position but did cause the first save of the afternoon as the amusingly named Schwan Jalal got down to hold his shot.

The middle fifteen minutes of the first half were more attritional in the midfield areas and Dean Hammond went into the book for a ridiculous scythe tackle which was so bad I was convinced that it was the Late Paul Wotton arriving on the scene, 20 minutes after the ball has gone.

Following a general battering of Lee Barnard by the Bournemouth centre backs, Bournemouth were then awarded what looked like a generous free kick for not a lot by Seaborne. Right on the edge of our box and the referee was by this time, beginning to get on my nerves a bit. I feared the worst when Pitman hit it well but instead of bulging the net, it flew about a yard over. Saints then went the closest they’d been as Lallana fed Chamberlain who fired in a good, low, left footed effort which was on its way until Jalal got fingertips to it to push it wide. Bastard. YEAH-ooooooooooh.

The first half ended with the Ryan Dickson comedy 10 minutes. Firstly he got in a great position to cross into the box and instead of doing so, attempted some sort of wanky drag back which ended in him being in one place and the ball being 10 yards from him and with a Bournemouth player who was laughing. Captain Hammond administered a deserved bollocking as we had 8 players forward at the time. Dickson probably needed to get to half time to settle down after that but he made the mistake of passing to The Late Paul Wotton who smashed it back at him, causing Dickson to ‘control’ the ball straight to Pitman who ran through and smashed wide across the goal. Looking back it was funny. You try and play a 1-2 but instead of a 1-2, it’s a 1-Fucking have it.

Half time and no Chuckle Brothers to listen to as I’m not in my usual seat. I survived this trauma and the teams emerged for the second half and it became apparent that Pards was not a fan of the Ryan Dickson comedy 10 minutes as Dan Harding was on in his place, determined to make up for his own comedy show on Saturday.

Saints on the attack and Dan Seaborne flicked a Puncheon corner goalwards where a defender did his job and easily headed it off the line. The shit ref was still giving Barnard nothing for being repeatedly assaulted and he repeated his first half masterclass by again giving Bournemouth a free kick on the edge of our box for completely sod all this time which once again, Pitman wasted, this time firing into the wall.

The game was beginning to open out a bit and on 65 minutes the deadlock was broken when Puncheon found Lallana, whose marker had dozed off a bit, who managed to cut onto his right foot and from 20 yards, curl a shot over Jalal and into the far top corner. Lovely goal and how the Bournemouth boy enjoyed it. He celebrated by getting cramp and 10 minutes later was replaced by Lee Holmes.

Bournemouth weren’t threatening much and they must have been delighted to see Sir Rickie come on for Barnard for the last 10 minutes. Barnard led line superbly in my opinion and had run himself into the ground for the cause. Saints looked a team transformed with the substitution though and Sir Rickie immediately fastened onto a Hammond pass and after a little run, forced Jalal into a low save.

Sir Rickie and Deano were again involved five minutes later as they combined to send Chamberlain through. Keeper and centre half should have dealt with it but they were indecisive and following a bit of a lucky rebound, Chamberlain was left with the ball and and empty goal to roll it into. Two nil, game over, Carling Cup Round 2 here we come.

In the end it was quite comfortable but for the first half, Bournemouth played well and gave us problems and we gave them the opportunity to give us problem by not looking after the ball well enough. Once the goal went in it was never in doubt and we closed it out with ease. The goal for Chamberlain was the icing on the cake and it’s always nice to see a young kid get a goal. I thought Barnard was the best player on the pitch for us, leading the line, winning far more headers than he should have done and generally holding up play really well. He doesn’t seem to be very popular with referees though as this is not the first game he's been given sod all despite being repeatedly thumped about. However well he played though, the side looked completely different when Sir Rickie came on and his presence caused the confusion which led to the goal which Alex Chamberlain can talk about is assembly when he goes back to school tomorrow. Jason Puncheon deserves a mention as he stuck at it today despite not having too good a first half and he started to play well with 20 minutes left. He’s never afraid to try stuff and even though he cocks it up on a regular basis, he’s worth persevering with no matter how frustrating he is at times.

Pards used his post match interview to describe how a nervous and negative atmosphere in the crowd can transmit to the players. He didn’t mince his words and told it how it is and you have to love him for that. In addition of course, he’s dead right. What are we doing there if we’re not ‘supporters’. Supporting Saints has never been easy has it?

So, ‘Do I hate Bournemouth?’ No. I want them to do well as they play the right way and I admire the fact that they got promoted, whilst under a proper transfer embargo. This is the kind of embargo where you can’t sign players and not a Pompey embargo where you can take the piss and cheat and get round it somehow. Fair play to the 4000 who turned up today and I hope they have a good season. I don’t fancy losing to them however as their fans (and Chairman) will give it the large one, so I hope they suck in the two league games we play against them. Their problem is going to be scoring goals though both wingers, Pugh and Feeney looked decent in the first half before fading a bit in the second. Pitman has to be a better player than he showed today as well. Defensively they looked ok but if I supported them, I’d be worried about how many headers Barnard won today and he’s about 5 foot 2 – just wait until you meet the teams with the obligatory League 1, 6 foot 5 centre forward.

Next up is the Fake Dons away and their manager is Karl ‘Bell End’ Robinson who was their assistant manager last year who specialised in talking complete and utter toss before and after each of the four wins we had against them. Keep your eyes peeled for some comedy gold in the press and on the web before Saturday’s game or maybe, just maybe, as he’s the No 1 now, he’ll shut the fuck up.

One final thought for the day… the dropping of the Oxlade. If, as I assume, Mrs Oxlade is his mother, will she be pissed off that her name has been dropped ? Also, will the oddly named Jordace Holder-Spooner-and-a-Forker have to sort out his name as well?

League 1 Match 1 - Southampton 0 Plymouth 1

Fair old poke

New season starts and we (dad and I) have a New Season Resolution that we are going to get the game earlier by the simple method of leaving quarter of an hour earlier. We made a balls of this and so arrived at 12.14 and 30-ish seconds. A quick check around to see if anyone new was near us in the Kingsland. I was hoping for a large breasted bikini model of some description but instead it was a new old codger, replacing last seasons one who was probably pushing up daisies.

To the teams and Saints were as expected with neither Lambert or Lallana in the team though Adam did make the bench. With Connolly and Dickson taking their places, you kind of felt ok but I was slightly worried that our two main goalscorers (57) from last year were both missing. Sir Rickie missing also meant someone new on the free kicks as well so I was under the impression that this would be tough. Plymouth are now managed by Peter Reid who is a decent manager despite having a monkey’s head. Lee Molyneux is in the Plymouth line up and we know how bad he is… bring it on.

Saints tore into Plymouth from the off, pinning them back in their half for the first 10 minutes with fast paced passing football which was pleasing on the eye and effective to boot. Dickson fizzed over a couple of crosses which Barnard and then Hammond could have done better with before Puncheon delivered from the right but just behind everybody. The Plymouth keeper was looking all flappy and for a while it just looked like matter of time. At the centre of it all was Morgan Schneiderlin who looked like he was on a different planet to everyone on the pitch – a Premiership player in League 1. His control and vision was superb and he soon went close himself with a raking shot that just went wide. Barnard and Connolly were working hard up front with Connolly pulling defenders out of position with his intelligent running and Barnard chasing everything down and getting stuck in. The back four of Butterfield, Harding, Jaidi and Fonte looked composed and solid and things were looking good.

Half an hour had gone by and neither keeper had been worked at all, despite all our good play and it kind of went all flat for a bit as Plymouth resorted to some comedy time wasting to try and take the sting out of the game and it worked a treat. It was still one way traffic though and Jaidi headed wide after Fonte found himself on the left wing, took on the full back and fired over a great cross. He’s some player that boy.

At half time I was pondering the season ahead. We’re expected to go up and if we do then fine, if we don’t however then Lambert, Lallana, Fonte and Schneiderlin would all be off and who could blame them. A little pessimistic to be having thoughts like that at half time on the first day perhaps. My mates the Chuckle Brothers were still there behind me, talking shit, trying to be funny and failing miserably. The guy two along from me has taken it upon himself to calmly explain the rules to them whenever they say something incredibly stupid during the game, in the same way that a dad explains to his 4 year old. I wonder how long it’s going to last… I give it til about half time at the Bournemouth game on Tuesday, by which time it will be “Just shut up and read the fucking rule book, you twat”

The second half starts and a catch a bit of “Bradley Wright-Phillips, he robs from the Skates” coming down from the Northam. A quick check reveals that he’s not even a sub for them today. I wonder if Peter Reid was at Man City when Bradley was there and knows just how shit he really is. To the game and Jaidi treads on the ball and Plymouth nick it back. It pings over to the left side and then back without a Saints player getting near it, except Harding who ball watches as it rolls past him for Summerfield to poke into the net. Shit. They’ve been in our half once and scored. Green Army!!! Bollocks.

Goals change games and for 10 minutes it’s all Plymouth and we’re rubbish. Schneiderlin, having faded in the last 20 of the first half, is now invisible, Barnard and Connolly are not holding the ball up, Puncheon is continually giving it away and Hammond is playing at a slower pace than every other player on the pitch. It’s dreadful and I’m already thinking I’ll be pleased with a draw. We are not helping ourselves either, with Kelvin Davis booting the ball aimlessly out of play and Radhi Jaidi playing ‘passes’ up to Barnard and Connolly that are coming down with snow on them.

Cometh the hour mark, cometh the man and Lallana was introduced in place of Harding who had played the first fifteen minutes of the second half like he’d never kicked a ball in his life. Dickson went to left back and Adam took up his usual left-wing-but-not-really slot. The difference was immediately noticeable and some intricate passing on the edge of the Plymouth box involving Lallana and Puncheon, eventually got too complicated when Punch decided to pass to and offside Barnard when he was only eight yards out himself and should have had a dig.

Saints were on the up again and Puncheon fired over before we finally got a shot on target as Lallana cut in and smashed in a shot from 25 yards which the keeper clawed away – decent save. Worryingly, Adam limped away from the incident, clearly feeling his knee which has been the reason he hasn’t trained. Argyle parked the bus after this, introducing another defender and you were hoping that Pards would used his remaining two substitutions and try and have a go as it clearly was not working and therein lies the problem. The attacking options on the bench were Oxlade-Chamberlain and Lee Holmes wheras last year it would have been Papa Waigo, Antonio and one of Connolly or Barnard. However, Oxlade-Chamberlain was not thrown on with 10 to go to use his pace and make a difference…. Oh no…. we got Lee Fucking Holmes on the 90th minute. What was the point of that ? All we got from Holmes was a synopsis of his entire Saints career when he swung a complete air shot at the ball and came away limping. We had the one chance you always get when Lallana cut in from the left and pulled it back for the onrushing Barnard who was tackled superbly as he shot, deflecting the ball to safety. One-Nil, Green Army!!! Bugger.

Positives are that we played ok for the first half and Ryan Dickson and Danny Butterfield look excellent acquisitions. Some of the delivery into the box was excellent and with Sir Rickie fit, I reckon we’d have bagged a couple before half time. I have to mention Jose Fonte as well who was quite simply different class. Plymouth were a tidy side without being inspirational but we should not have lost to them and did so purely because we handed them the goal which they held onto. Simple really.

On the debit side, we have a glaring lack of pace now without Waigo and Antonio and we looked clueless in the second half. The central midfield does not look right to me and I’ll repeat what I said at the tail end of last season that Schneiderlin has to play as the attacking one and Hammond as the defensive one. Hammond is too ponderous with the ball at feet though he reads the game well and gets stuck in to headers and tackles etc. Morgan uses the deeper position to just disappear which after a brilliant first twenty minutes, he completely did today leaving me feeling a bit sorry for Hammond and the other midfielders. We all know Morgan is creative and can pass it so get him further forward and I reckon he’d get you 10 goals a season. He needs to do more and he’s capable of so much more. The service from the wings today was ok to start with and then tailed off with Puncheon just not looking fit to me. Molyneux was keeping up with him for pace which really should not happen. We needed to feed the smaller lads up front with balls into the channels and this just didn’t happen enough though Lallana made a huge difference when he came on. Finally, what the fuck was that last substitution about ? I guess Pards was watching Capello in the summer – three goals down, bring on Heskey, need a goal, bring on impact sub Lee Holmes in the 90th minute. I tell you, throwing Wotton or Seaborne or even Bart on up front would have had more impact.

Oh yeah… and the cringeworthy playing of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ on the tannoy as I had my post game piss was really not required. Next up, Bournemouth at home in the League Cup on Tuesday, bring me a decent atmosphere and a decent win.

Season 2010/11 Preview

You take my picture, I have you killed

Due to a couple of things, the start of season 2010/11 has crept up on me somewhat. Firstly of course there was the World Cup and England being shit. Also, in my personal world there was the small fact of having three kids, a mortgage and no job. Thankfully the last situation has been resolved when I sold all the kids, so I can now, at one days notice, write of the pre-season just gone and the season ahead.

Pre-seasons and the success thereof, can never be judged by results in friendlies as you never get the full team playing and you never really know which players will be giving it everything, nor do you know how seriously the opposition are taking it. You can only really measure how good the pre-season was by your start to the league program. Using this marker, Saints pre-seasons have almost always been terrible. This year, we won a few and lost a few of the matches but I thought the most interesting thing was that the opposition was obviously picked by he management and not by the bean counters. No ‘glamour’ game against European opposition which I personally think is a good thing as chasing the ball around in the heat, without touching it for 90 minutes is not good preparation for Rochdale away in League 1.

So, aside from the friendlies, what have we had at SFC since the last season ended. In no particular order….

Off the pitch we have two new kits of course – The Sash 125th anniversary kit being the main talking point. I remember the early 90’s and the ‘Save Our Stripes’ campaign, in response to that bloody awful Pony kit with the tick on it. I can’t see there being a big protest this time as we all know it’s only for one year… it’s a decent shirt as well, though ‘Come on you Reds’ will have to be stifled.

Nicola Cortese has continued with ‘Operation Don’t-Give-a-Fuck’ with mixed results. I think the programme innovation of having it online for a subscription is a good one though I’m glad they’re keeping the traditional programme at the game as removing this would have messed with the fabric of the match day experience somewhat. The removal of the payment plan for Season Tickets and the short notice at which this was done, went down like a lead balloon with a lot of fans. I’ve heard though (I may be ITK here !!!) that the main problem was that many were getting the Season ticket and then not paying the instalments, which makes it easier to understand. It’s like being a kid at school when the teacher doesn’t know who hocked a greenie on his back – but he knows that someone did and so he punishes everyone. Maybe the club could send out the tickets for the next month once the instalment has been received in the future – anyway, that’s for another day. Next it will probably be the removal of concession tickets if Adults are buying Kids or Seniors tickets – I bet that happens a lot. As I write, I’m hearing that we’re not allowing opposition newspapers photographers in the ground and wanting them to buy our official licensed photographs. Can’t see this being a winner and if I was the editor of the Rochdale Daily Arse, I would be telling SFC to fuck off. We will not have any friends. Cortese will be able to get away with more or less whatever he likes as long as the team is improving on the pitch. If things start to go wrong though…. I expect Fat Oaf Martin Samuel of the Daily Mail (to give him his full title) is sharpening the pen already.

To the 11 men on the grass and we’ve signed two right backs in Frazer Richardson from Charlton and Danny Butterfield from Crystal Palace, both of whom were needed to replace the departed collection of ‘not fit for purpose’ right backs we had last year. Richardson managed to dislocate his shoulder in training – rumour has it that he slipped on a strategically placed pie, left by Graeme Murty – so he’ll be out for 3 months but with Butterfield there and Harding able to switch sides and play cack-handed at right back, we should be ok. Also joining was Ryan Dickson from Brentford who we had to pay a shoddy tribunal fee for. I was initially surprised we signed another left back as we already had Harding and Mills in the squad but both Dickson and Mills are capable of playing left wing so I guess there’s room, especially as Adam Lallana seems to have a niggling knee injury that needs managing.

As I write, we haven’t yet covered the central midfield wasteland that with appear if either Hammond gets injured or Schneiderlin boots someone up the arse in a pique of French petulance. Darren Carter arrived from Preston, played one game and promptly signed for Millwall so I think we can assume there will be a new arrival there. We also have not replaced the pace and unpredictability (genius followed by complete crap) that Michail Antonio and Papa Waigo provided, nor have we got the back up ‘big’ stiker to cover and absence from Sir Rickie though there is a growing school of thought that Barnard and Connolly can form a decent partnership and I think they can as long as the other 9 players realise that Rickie isn’t there and don’t hoof it up to the midget front pairing. Lloyd James having left the club will no doubt help this.

The player that I am expecting big things from this year…. Lee Barnard. Now he’s settled I think he will prove his worth. He scored a hatful for a poor Southend side and they fell from mid-table to relegation once he left and I reckon he’ll get more time on the pitch this year and only get better. A youngster to make an impression will be Aaron Martin who I can see playing quite a few games this year as Jaidi will struggle with the 3 games in 6 days nature of League 1 and he’s better than Seaborne already. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain will also make a mark but being a winger, will be more in and out and remember that he’s only just turned 17.

The league will obviously be the main priority for the year and I hope that we prioritise the Cups as follows, JPT, FA, League… sacrilege I know to relegate the FA Cup but I think you all know my reasoning. I won’t be getting upset about getting knocked out of any Cup this year though, as long as the League program is going ok and as long as we’re not playing the fucking Skates. Having said that – I would put the full team out against Bournemouth in the League Cup next week – don’t want to lose that one.

My expectation for the season is that we should win the bloody thing. It’s very easy to err on the side of caution and say that we want a playoff spot but with the players we have and the ones we will doubtless recruit, we should win it. 2nd and automatic promotion will do but we should aim to win it. Teams will come to SMS in particular and park the bus but we should be good enough the overcome that more often than not and win the bloody league. This is our best chance since Div 3 South days to actually win a division and it’s one we should not pass up. The teams that I fear are Sheffield Wednesday, Plymouth (who we play tomorrow) and Huddersfield. For a dark horse – Brighton but this season should be about us and it’s up to us to do it.

Bring it.