He Feckin' Dived Ref
Saturday 25th June
Poland and Switzerland got the ‘Round of 16’ (shit expression) under way and it was a cagey, kind of rubbish game for the first half with Poland being slightly the better side. Blaszczykowski lashed in the opening goal after a break up the left and a left back who disappeared and that was it until half time. Poland sat back after half time, partly due to Switzerland upping the energy levels and partly due to Poland giving the ball away every five minutes. When the Swiss equalised it came it was no surprise as they’d been getting progressively closer but what an incredible goal it was as a cross from the left was knocked out and it was 3 yards behind Xherdan Shaqiri until he took two steps towards his own goal before producing a scissor kick to smash it past Fabianski and in off the post. The goal of the tournament competition may as well close now as this was ridiculous. On we went through the 90 minutes and extra time with Switzerland looking the more likely but it was no surprise to anyone that we ended up with the first penalty shootout. Lewandowski actually scored his penalty after having yet another very mediocre game and the first miss was provided by Arsenal’s new midfielder Granit Xhaka who hit his penalty midway between the left-hand post and the corner flag. The Poles just kept on scoring and so it fell to Krychowiak to win it for them and it was never in doubt. He looks like a player.
It’s the Battle of Britain with Wales facing Northern Ireland and Northern Ireland were the better side from the start. Wales were unable to get the ball to Bale in any space and the Irish looked the more threatening but a shot from Dallas which produced an easy save from hennessy was as close as either team got in a crap first half. As far as the quality football goes, it was a complete non-event. Wales had a goal disallowed when Ramsey was miles offside and from Bale’s one free kick of the day, McGovern showed the crap goalkeepers how to keep it out. One goal it was always going to win it and in the second half and player with the most ability on the pitch made the difference when Bale got the ball out on the left and fired over and inviting low cross between the goalkeeper and the defenders, leaving Gareth McAuley with the choice of touching it and hoping for the best or leaving it and hoping that the Welsh striker (Robson-Kanu) behind him would miss it. If he’d known it was Robson-Kanu I dare say he’d have left it. In the event he decided to touch it and predictably as you like, knocked it into his own net. It was a crushing inevitability that Ireland would not produce anything to get back into the game and so Wales advanced into the quarter-finals. Chris Coleman at least had the decency to point out afterwards that the best team lost.
After the crushing bore of the British match, we have two quality sides in Croatia and Portugal. Portugal had decided to re-jig the defence after the shambolic display against Hungary and in came Jose Fonte and Cedric Soares. The good performance of the two Saints players distracted me from 90 minutes of the most tedious football I had ever seen in my entire life. How can there be so many good players on the pitch and produced this pile of shit? I decided to watch the last 30 minutes in the hope that Ronaldo would've missed his penalty like a big shiny twat but it didn't get that far as with five minutes to go, it's suddenly got entertaining. Perisic hit a post for Croatia and the rebound ended up with Strinic on the left and he’d been an arsehole all game so it was no surprise to me that he lost the ball and Portugal broke away, Sanches played in Nani on the left and he poked it across the goal with the outside of his boot to the shiny twat. Ronaldo’s shot was well saved but dropped for Quaresma to knock it into the net to send Portugal through but not before Vida nearly equalised with the last kick, hooking an effort about three inches wide.
Poland and Switzerland got the ‘Round of 16’ (shit expression) under way and it was a cagey, kind of rubbish game for the first half with Poland being slightly the better side. Blaszczykowski lashed in the opening goal after a break up the left and a left back who disappeared and that was it until half time. Poland sat back after half time, partly due to Switzerland upping the energy levels and partly due to Poland giving the ball away every five minutes. When the Swiss equalised it came it was no surprise as they’d been getting progressively closer but what an incredible goal it was as a cross from the left was knocked out and it was 3 yards behind Xherdan Shaqiri until he took two steps towards his own goal before producing a scissor kick to smash it past Fabianski and in off the post. The goal of the tournament competition may as well close now as this was ridiculous. On we went through the 90 minutes and extra time with Switzerland looking the more likely but it was no surprise to anyone that we ended up with the first penalty shootout. Lewandowski actually scored his penalty after having yet another very mediocre game and the first miss was provided by Arsenal’s new midfielder Granit Xhaka who hit his penalty midway between the left-hand post and the corner flag. The Poles just kept on scoring and so it fell to Krychowiak to win it for them and it was never in doubt. He looks like a player.
It’s the Battle of Britain with Wales facing Northern Ireland and Northern Ireland were the better side from the start. Wales were unable to get the ball to Bale in any space and the Irish looked the more threatening but a shot from Dallas which produced an easy save from hennessy was as close as either team got in a crap first half. As far as the quality football goes, it was a complete non-event. Wales had a goal disallowed when Ramsey was miles offside and from Bale’s one free kick of the day, McGovern showed the crap goalkeepers how to keep it out. One goal it was always going to win it and in the second half and player with the most ability on the pitch made the difference when Bale got the ball out on the left and fired over and inviting low cross between the goalkeeper and the defenders, leaving Gareth McAuley with the choice of touching it and hoping for the best or leaving it and hoping that the Welsh striker (Robson-Kanu) behind him would miss it. If he’d known it was Robson-Kanu I dare say he’d have left it. In the event he decided to touch it and predictably as you like, knocked it into his own net. It was a crushing inevitability that Ireland would not produce anything to get back into the game and so Wales advanced into the quarter-finals. Chris Coleman at least had the decency to point out afterwards that the best team lost.
After the crushing bore of the British match, we have two quality sides in Croatia and Portugal. Portugal had decided to re-jig the defence after the shambolic display against Hungary and in came Jose Fonte and Cedric Soares. The good performance of the two Saints players distracted me from 90 minutes of the most tedious football I had ever seen in my entire life. How can there be so many good players on the pitch and produced this pile of shit? I decided to watch the last 30 minutes in the hope that Ronaldo would've missed his penalty like a big shiny twat but it didn't get that far as with five minutes to go, it's suddenly got entertaining. Perisic hit a post for Croatia and the rebound ended up with Strinic on the left and he’d been an arsehole all game so it was no surprise to me that he lost the ball and Portugal broke away, Sanches played in Nani on the left and he poked it across the goal with the outside of his boot to the shiny twat. Ronaldo’s shot was well saved but dropped for Quaresma to knock it into the net to send Portugal through but not before Vida nearly equalised with the last kick, hooking an effort about three inches wide.
You Took My Goal Off Me... It Was Mine... ALL MINE... IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!!!!
So, three games and 98% of it was complete bollocks to watch, all of it in the half of the draw that England would have been in if they hadn’t failed to break down Slovakia. Roll on Sunday.
Sunday 26th June
Host Nation France (having had 5 days off) were up against Republic of Ireland (2 days) and who said that it had all been rigged in France’s favour. Ireland made a great start with Pogba making his first big contribution to the tournament by clumsily carting Shane Long over in the box to give Ireland a penalty within a minute. Up stepped Robbie Brady to drill it in off a post. It wasn't one way traffic towards the Irish goal after this but it was a case of whether France could break down the Irish rearguard. Paul Pogba is an over rated, over hyped and has no end product. I guess we’re all told he’s brilliant because he used to play for Manchester United reserves so naturally, he must be brilliant. Despite Pogba’s averageness and Giroud having the turning circle of a tractor, the Irish couldn't hold out though and within five second half minutes, the game was over. Griezmann made it 1-1with a good header from Sagna’s cross and then 2-1 with his next chance when Giroud managed to get off the ground and nod one down to him. A slim hope for Ireland became no hope when, in an attempt to stop them going 3-1 down, Shane Duffy took out Griezmann when he was the last defender and so he walked. From that point on the game was dead and the Irish produced very very little by way of dangerous attacking play in the final third and France just queued up to miss chances through Matuidi, Gignac and Griezmann..
It makes me smile in a way that both Irish teams have gone out and everyone thinks they were great. Northern Ireland won one game and lost three and the team they beat was Ukraine who lost to everyone. That Republic won one match against Italy’s reserves who had absolutely nothing to play for. They were slightly better in that they drew with Sweden, who were crap and gave France a decent game. I also guess that it's an improvement on Euro 2012 when they lost all three matches.
If ever one game in this round was going to be one sided it was Germany against Slovakia and so it proved as the Germans absolutely pissed it. Jerome Boateng gave them the lead on 10 minutes with a volley from the edge of the box and they had a chance for 2-0 but Ozil’s penalty following a fucking hopeless challenge by Skrtel on Gomez, was shite and too close to the keeper who pulled off a comfortable save. No matter as Mario Gomez soon doubled the lead as Draxler got down the left and gave him a sitter to knock in. Slovakia barely got into the Germans half throughout the game and the Germans decided that they would score a third goal after all as the half ticked down through a close range Draxler volley to win easily without expending any energy at all. The one that hope is that when they play someone decent, they won't know how to handle it. This is Germany however.
Belgium and Hungary made up the line-up for today and it was a good game but Hungary played exactly the way Belgium would have wanted them to and made it an open game. If it had been a tight game then Belgium's defensive organisation would have been tested a bit more and the piss week with Witsel and Nainggollan in midfield, who would have had to have done some work without the ball. As it was, once Alderweireld and had put Belgium ahead with a header, it became a game of “we attack, now you attack” and there was only going to be one winner with the class of individual player that Belgium have got. They had to take the shit Lukaku off before they could score again but no sooner then they had done that, Hazard twinkle toed down the left and put a cross on a plate for Batshuayi to make it 2-0. Hazard himself got the third goal as he cut in of the left-wing, drifted past a couple of defenders in exactly the same way as he didn’t for Chelsea this season and then fired past fat man Kiraly in the Hungarian goal. Another substitute got the fourth goal as Nainggolan played Carrasco through against Fatboy and he simply rolled it into the near post to make 4-0 and very, very comfortable. Fellaini managed to come on as a substitute and the first thing he did was throw an elbow at someone. He really is a massive twat.
Monday 27th June
Pick this out United Boy!
Italy and Spain wasn't supposed to be happening now as Belgium were supposed to win the Italians group and Spain were supposed to win their own group and not Croatia. So, what we have here, far too early in the competition, is a clash between two of Europe's traditional heavyweights. Spain passed the ball about nicely as you would expect but the Italians were so organised defensively and broke on the Spanish and created all the good chances in the first half. Pellè had a header well saved by de Gea and the Spanish keeper was at it again to deny a Giaccherini from an overhead kick and another low effort from the same player. He did however make a complete bollocks for the first Italian goal as Pellè was brought down by Ramos on the edge of the box and Eder smashed in a low free kick which was spilled by the keeper, all the Italians piled in and Chiellini knocked it into the net. De Gea pulled off another save from Giaccherini but the Spanish got to half time just the one down. There was Spanish pressure in the second half but without any real conviction Italy broke away again with a marvellous Pellè flick putting Eder through but guess what? De Gea again. It wasn't until the 85th minute that Buffon had a serious safe to make as he got down well to keep out Pique’s close range effort. After defending, yet again the Italians broke and the ball ended up with Darmian on the right hand side and his cross flicked up off of Ramos for Pellè to smash home on the volley in much the same way as he did against Belgium in the opening game. This was a great game which had everything, passion, tactics, great skill. Wonderful stuff and Italy the deserved winners.
A word for Antonio Conte who is to be the Chelsea manager next season. He never stops issuing instructions to his players from the technical area and one of the highlights of the tournament for me was when one have his own players mis-controlled a pass and the ball rolled to him in the technical area, and he just went and wellied it down the touchline. Class. His celebrations for the second goal, when he basically went batshit mental, will live long in the memory as well. The Italians are basically everything England are not – defensively sound, know their system, know their style of play, round pegs in round holes and with a dynamic inspirational manager.
So, seven games down, one more to go and it's England against Iceland.
…. And it needs a blog of it’s own.
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