Friday, June 10, 2016

Euro 2016 Part 1 - Roy Fills Us With Optimism.


Hodgson Finds Dossier on the the Things Milner Does Well

Tuesday 31st (morning)

As I write it’s the morning of the squad announcement and I’m trying to get inside the mind of the old duffer who is picking the England squad.  He tried to be positive and name his squad early to avoid giving the impression that he couldn’t make his mind up about anything but he missed his deadline for that, then he named too many players and now the Senile Old Goat has arrived at the last minute.  Don’t fuck it up Roy.

The 25 man squad as it stands is unbalanced as there are too many midfielders and not enough defensive minded players.  Eric Dier and Danny Drinkwater are the two defensive midfielders and the worry is that Drinkwater will be binned.  If Dier then gets forced to play centre back then we will have no defensive midfielder aside from Jack Wheelchair who is only a defensive midfielder in Hodgson’s mind.  He proved against Australia what we all knew, that he has no defensive awareness and playing there in the easiest qualifying group in history is not relevant at all.  The players who should be under threat in the squad are Henderson and Milner.  Milner is (gritted teeth) versatile (but not actually good at anything) but Henderson is just a trundler, not providing goals or assists or defensive cover.  He’s also been injured so should not make the squad.... but he will so all in all, Drinkwater will be binned as he’s easy to bin as he’s not been in the squad very long and isn’t a Roy favourite, which far outweighs the fact that he’s just won the Premier League.  The Australia game was strange in that Wilshere was picked in Drinkwater’s defensive midfield position and Drinkwater was picked on the left of the diamond midfield, where the left footed attack minded Wilshere would surely be better utilized.

The other player to miss out was to be Marcus Rashford but he scored in the first 2 minutes against Australia so now he has to be on the plane of course.  Playing for Manchester United and the media hyperbole that surrounds them helps as well.  He did nothing for the rest of the game except give the ball away but the media want him to be picked so he will be as that’s what Hodgson does.  In 2014, five minutes before the tournament,  we had a media clamour for Raheem Sterling to play at 10 so that’s what Roy did, even though it meant playing Rooney wide where he was useless.  So, Rashford will go which puts pressure on the perma-injured Sturridge who missed the two recent friendlies of course.  As long as he’s not in a full body cast, he’ll go though so it means another midfielder will get binned, namely Andros Townsend or Ross Barkley.  Townsend has been playing really well recently and offers something different whereas Barkley has been useless and gives the ball away loads.... but he has been in every Roy squad for the past two years as he’s seen as ‘the future’.  Townsend is the only winger in the squad aside from the piss poor Raheem Sterling so he should definitely be in the Euro squad.  To me, it should be Rashford who doesn’t go as if you look through the hype, he didn’t do enough in the Australia game to put him ahead of anyone else  but it’ll be Townsend as once again, he’s come into the squad late and it’s easier to leave him out than it is to leave out a United media darling wonderkid, a Liverpool superstar or a Roy favourite.

So, Rashford and Henderson to stay behind for me.... but it’ll be Drinkwater and Townsend and we’ll go into the tournament with one winger and one defensive midfielder.

Tuesday 31st (afternoon)

I find it quite annoying that I know how Hodgson thinks.  Drinkwater and Townsend out – two players in good form and it leaves us short of cover in their respective positions.  I am still none the wiser why Jordan Henderson is so indispensible that he’s picked when half fit.  I have no problem with Wilshere as he has ability but not as a defensive midfielder – on the left of a diamond midfield would be ideal for him as there’s no natural alternative there.  I’m not sure why both Sturridge and Rashford have been picked.   I would say that Rashford will be 5th choice to play up front behind Kane, Vardy, Rooney and Sturridge. 

Thursday 2nd July

The friendly against Portugal was basically an abortion.  The old goat tried too shoe-horn Rooney into the side with Kane, Vardy and Alli and managed to get nothing out of all of them which is the complete opposite of what a manager is supposed to do.  I’m not sure it was meant to be this way but what we got was Kane wide right, Vardy wide left, Rooney centre forward and Alli shunted over to left midfield.  All four were shit, especially Rooney who is not fit enough to play in midfield and hasn’t been for about 5 years.

In addition to this, in what was probably in his head the first choice line up for the first game, he had fucking Milner in the team.  Milner is excruciatingly painful to watch.  He used to have no idea about what he couldn’t do so he’d attempt a 60 yard crossfield ball and smash it into the stand.  Now it’s like he’s realised that he’s can’t play football and he just looks paralysed so sticks to five yard passes and guess what – he can’t do that either because he’s just shit.  He was probably keeping Wilshere’s slot warm anyway but it’s appalling to see him starting England matches.

Harry Kane is a great player and scored a load of goals last season and there he is taking free kicks out on the wing which is really where you want your best header of the ball.  It was shit.  I guess that in the tournament itself, Ryan Bertrand can take the set pieces but probably not because he’s not going to get picked ahead of Danny Rose.  Hodgson has shown that he will just pick who the press say along with his personal favourites so with Spurs being the flavour of the month, expect Rose and Walker to be the full backs and the better defenders, Clyne and Bertrand to be left out.  Defensively of course we weren’t tested and this was because we played an hour against 10 men when Bruno Alves decided he was a ninja and tried to kick Kane’s head off his shoulders.  Eventually we put a decent cross in and Smalling scored with a good glancing header.  Everyone says Smalling has had a good season but he’s been playing for United who have been ultra-defensive in midfield this year so it’ll be interesting to see what he’s like when put under any pressure, a bit like he was in the FA Cup Final when he got sent off. 

There is no way that Vardy, Kane, Rooney and Alli can play in the same side so it’ll be Vardy who gets sacrificed with Rooney up front with Kane and wheezing around from minutes 60-90.  Hodgson has painted himself into a corner with his vow to attack and his striker-heavy squad which means he has to play two up front.  This means Rooney will have to play up top and therefore it was a complete waste bringing Rashford along for the ride.  Would have been better bringing someone who might contribute.

We look forward to these tournaments despite past experiences and then we realise that we still have Hodgson in charge and he’s fucking useless and should have been sacked after the last World Cup. We’ll all be there for the Russia match though, hoping…

Nostalgia has been out in force with documentaries about Euro 96.  A quick look down the players in that team and you had leaders like Seaman, Adams, Pearce, Ince & Shearer as the rest were Gary Neville, Southgate, Sheringham, MacManaman and Anderton.  Oh, and Gazza…. There’s no comparison really.  Oh and we had as an astute manager even if he was a massive wide boy.

Monday 6th June

Back to 2016 and as the squad was about to jet off to Paris, news came through that Arsenal were trying to destabilise things by putting in a bid for Jamie Vardy.  He has a £20 million release clause which Arsenal met and he was given a deadline of take-off time to make his mind up.  Uncle Roy has form with this kind of thing.  In 2014 he issued a similar ‘no club business’ message before the World Cup, only for Adam Lallana to spend the whole tournament talking about it and signing Liverpool shirts.  Mind you, as we know, Adam is as thick as mince.  So Vardy, a player who loves space in behind a defence, possibly joining a team who by the time they try and play a ball to the striker have had the ball for 5 minutes and find the defence they are trying to break down on the edge of their own penalty area.  It doesn’t make any sense for Vardy froma  football point of view but the money does.  I really hope he strikes a blow for decency and turns it down.  Anyway, the plane flew and there was still no answer.

Regardless of my lack of expectation for England to do anything, I am looking forward to the tournament.  What’s not to like about a month of international football.  Hopefully all can put the greed of club football behind them for a while.

Friday 10th June

With all the Koeman shenanigans it’s kind of crept up on me a bit but here we go with France against Romania tonight.  There’s a good article on the BBC about the racial tensions in France and how there’s a comparison with 1998 when they won a home World Cup.  Back then, their multi-heritage team brought everyone together and now (obviously) it is needed again.  I wonder if the referees will have bought into that.  This tournament was of course what turned out to be Platini’s parting gift to his homeland as France were awarded this tournament ahead of Euro 2020 which is going to be played all over the continent.  How convenient for France. Platini was also a major voice in expanding the tournament to 24 teams which a) is too many teams and b) means only 8 teams get knocked out in the group stages.

So England.... England should get through the group comfortably enough with a group filled with injury ravaged and old Russia, one man team Wales and very average Slovakia.  Less than 7 points is disappointing and we should of course win the group.  We'll get knocked out by the first decent team we play in the knock out rounds.  The quarter finals are a minimum requirement and for me, only a semi final could be seen as a success.

Elsewhere I can only seem the traditional big teams doing well.  France, Germany and Spain are the big three and of those I'll take the Germans. Next you have Italy and Belgium who are in the same group and I'll take the Italians as the Belgians are in the main, over-hyped Premier League players who are not as good as we are led to believe they are.  Next up you have England and Portugal and I'd take the Portuguese as more likely to get it right out of those two which is mainly down to my lack of faith in Hodgson.  If the winners came from elsewhere it would be a major surprise and if you want an outsider, I'll say Poland. 

Please don't let Roy fuck it up. 

Please let it all pass off safely.

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