Premier League Match 19 - Southampton 1 Chelsea 1

Hey Chelsea fans: Google 'Park the Bus'.

If you could pick a team not to be playing when you’ve only had a day to recover from your last match it would be Chelsea.  Let’s face it, they could pick a completely different XI and would still have a team good enough to finish in the top 4 and that’s before we get started on the thousands of stockpiled players they have out on loan all over Europe.  One of those out on loan is of course Ryan Bertrand who is on a season long loan at Saints.  I’ve no doubt he’ll be signing for us in the summer but for now he’s technically a Chelsea player and can’t play for us today.  This means that Chelsea in effect weaken us today – they have no need to have Ryan on their books as he’s never going to get a game.  However, we should be grateful that he’s available for us for the other 36 League games of the season.

For Chelsea and Jose Mourinho, this season has been pretty much plain sailing.  They’ve had just the one defeat at Newcastle and have virtually beaten everyone else and progressed in the Champions League.  He complained about his strikeforce last year when it was ‘only’ Torres, Eto’o and Ba so he replaced those three with Diego Costa, Didier Drogba and Loic Remy.  Frank Lampard left and was replaced with Cesc Fabregas.  You have to say that he used the summer transfer window in the exact opposite way of Brendon Rodgers.  I like Jose and am glad he’s back – I know he can be a bit of a whingeing dickhead at times but he’s a character and the game needs them.

He and Ronald Koeman have history of course in that they were both on the staff of Louis Van Gaal at Barcelona.  I expect that they’ll be sharing many ‘Van Gaal is a twat’ stories over a glass of wine at the end of the game.  Meanwhile, I’m hoping for a share of the points and anything other than a repeat of the experience we had playing Chelsea last year when we got humped 3-0 in embarrassingly one sided fashion.

There has been a bit of news in that we have nipped in before the transfer window has even started and signed a winger on loan for the rest of the season in Eljero Elia who has joined from Werder Bremen.  He has 20 odd caps for Holland so must be decent but he’s fallen away in the past few years, earning a reputation as the Dutch Balotelli for his off the field activities.  He’s a replacement for Sadio Mané who is of course off to the African Cup of Nations for a month but as Werder really want shot of him, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if we sign him permanently in the summer but at least it's a 'try before you buy' deal so if he turns out to be another Osvaldo, or another Balotelli, we've got a better chance of spotting it.

Losing one full back, the aforementioned Bertrand, was bad enough but Nathaniel Clyne was missing as well.  Bollocks – this always happens against the big clubs – it’s hard enough as it is and then you lose two of the players crucial to how your team plays.  The 11 names read out included no natural right back so I expected Toby Alderweireld to be put in the position he occupies for the Belgian national team but instead, it was Maya Yoshida at right back with Steve Davis stationed in front of him in a 4-4-2 formation.  Sadio Mané kept his place up front behind Graziano and unsurprisingly, Big Vic was restored to the central midfield with Dusan Tadic coming in on the left.  The right sided defensive pairing of Maya on José Fonte was a bit of a concern up against the tricky little bastard Hazard.

Chelsea rotated a couple, leaving out Oscar and Willian and bringing in World Cup Winner Andre Schurrle and Jon Obi Mikel who is the most limited of holding midfield players so I guess that means that Mourinho is showing us a bit of respect.  It’s a worryingly strong team on paper.  As Chelsea make us swap ends and the game is about to start, I think of the bloke in my office who supports Chelsea.  He used to support Palace but changed allegiance when Roman’s revolution struck silverware. Tosser.  I hope we bury them.

Chelsea are passing it about well right from the start but Hazard gives the ball straight to Tadic who lets fly from 40 yards but well over the bar.  When we give it away though, as we did when Fonte panicked under pressure, we spend 5 minutes frantically defending our goal with corner after corner and Fabregas dancing along the goal line towards the goal as we collectively shit ourselves.  A corner comes over and Fraser completely misses it but eventually we do manage to get it clear.  Lesson learnt – do not give the fucking ball away in our own half.

When looking forward to this game, I thought that Mané would give Terry and Cahill problems and also that one or both of them would try and wipe him out at some stage.  Terry had the chance as Sadio chased a ball into the right hand corner and though he launched a scissor tackle from behind, he missed and we got a throw and then a corner.  With no JWP, Davis took responsibility and found Morgan with the kick and his header found Mané all alone at the back stick but Terry got in front of Fonte to clear it for another corner.   Needless to say, we couldn’t manage two good corners in a row.

If we were to get anything out of this sort of game then when we had any sort of ascendancy, we needed to score and that’s just what we did on 19 minutes as Matty Targett lobbed a ball forward, Pellè chested it back to Tadic who lofted it over the defence first time.  John Terry stepped up too late and Mané was away.  A headed touch across Terry and a lob with his right foot over Courtois and into the net and everyone went mental.  Get in there and no matter how childish this seems, there’s nothing better than seeing John Terry make a balls of something.

Chelsea respond to the setback like it never happened and Fabregas appears in our box again and makes defenders look stupid with his skill but luckily we are getting there in threes and fours and just about keeping them out.  One feature of our play that is lacking is of course the threat from the wings.  Targett is trying whenever possible to get up the line but of couse it’s not natural for Yoshida and quite often, you see Morgan or Big Vic looking for the ball forward to Clyney on the right and there’s just no one there so they have to check back.  On one occasion Maya does find himself attacking he bundles past Luis and the ball eventually bounces to Graziano who should lay it back for Morgan to shoot but he turns and fires over the bar.

It was in my mind that 45 minutes were up and we just needed to get in at 1-0 and no sooner the thought entered my head then the bastards equalized. There was a bit of pinball in midfield and Fabregas got in and dinked a lovely ball down the wing to Hazard.  One on one with Maya he turned him inside out and cut infield before dummying his way across Alderweireld and placing a lovely right footed shot in the far corner.  Great goal it has to be said – bastard.  Diego Costa doesn’t run to his team mate to celebrate the goal, instead he just decided to get in Big Vic’s face which is a) the action of a complete tosser and b) pretty stupid.

Brazilian Willian is on at half time for Schurrle who has done absolutely nothing.  He was brilliant in the World Cup but totally anonymous today.  Maybe playing against Brazil in the 7-1 made him look better than he is.  Maybe that means Saints are better than Brazil.  Well our defending certainly is.  The new man is quickly in the heart of the action as Chelsea press immediately and he has two shots which are both blocked.  I see a long second half ahead.  A ball breaks to Fabregas on our left and as he moves into the box, Targett goes to close him down.  Over goes Fabregas with his hands in the air and we clear it.  Over comes the ref and books him for diving and he goes nuts.  From his reaction I’m kind of thinking that maybe he didn’t dive.  Later replays showed that Targett slipped as he went to tackle him and Fabregas went over his standing leg.  There was contact but he definitely made a meal of it and I’m not sure he didn’t drag his leg into Targett anyway.  In my opinion we couldn’t have complained if it was given though it would have been harsh but it’s not as clear cut as they will no doubt make out.  And anyway, they’re twats so fuck ‘em.  The referee probably couldn’t see because he had 5 Chelsea players in his face blocking his view.

The set piece situation is of course back to haunt us today as JWP is not playing. Bearing in mind we’re not getting much of the ball so it’s frustrating when we get any sort of dead ball in their half and Tadic just wafts it out of play.  Make no mistake, these are not even close to landing in the right area.  It’s got to the stage with Tadic that from a dead ball, he’s be the last person I’d have taking it.  Dead balls aside he’s not been bad but he’s the first person hooked and JWP comes on, taking a position on the right wing with Steve Davis moving to the left.

Fabregas and Hazard are causing endless problems for us and the former sets up the latter who twists and turns past the bodies throwing themselves in the way and fires just wide.  There’s a big call from Koeman with the second change as Gardos comes on for Yoshida with Alderweireld moving to right back.  I can see why he’s done this because a) Yoshida is knackered and b) Toby will give more in an attacking sense.

Whilst in the main our defending has been very disciplined, Morgan seems to be on a mission to get booked.  He gets away with one foul which could easily have picked up a yellow and then he bins another one which is only ever going to get a yellow.  Meanwhile it’s constant pressure on the edge of our box and it’s always nice when you see an opposition right back thinking he can score from 35 yards like Ivanovic clearly does and watching the ball sail into the crowd.

Mikel, who has been stood there like a spare part as he has no attacking ability whatsoever, is removed and replaced with Didier Drogba who certainly does. I think Drogba’s a fantastic player but I’m pleased he’s on instead of Remy.  We’re dealing with Costa and I'm confident that Gardos and Fonte will deal with Drogba but we’re struggling with the tricky little fast bastards like Hazard.  We have a go at playing out of defence and nearly have a disaster as JWP plays a shite ball back to nobody and gives it straight to Costa who slips on his arse as we collectively get brown trousers. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy - all elbows and whining. Tosser.

Shane Long is on for Steve Davis on the left to give us some more energy and his first action is to chase and keep in an overhit Alderweireld cross and via Big Vic and Toby again, we win a corner which is only mentioned because it’s an attacking highlight of the second half.  However, Chelsea clear it and begin a breakaway with Fabregas on the left but Morgan trashes him and is off down the tunnel before the second yellow even comes out.

JWP has moved to the centre and Mané is having to play right wing and I’m getting horrible Arsenal away flashbacks.  Remy is on for Costa and the last few minutes are going to be carnage.  Bloody Hazard again tricks his way through on our left and his cross is mercifully missed by Drogba.  The next cross is met by Fonte who whacks it into Big Vic’s chest and luckily it bounced straight to Fraser.  We’re giving away free kicks just outside the box in the wide areas.  Pellè gets booked for one and we clear that cross and then Long does the same on the other side.  We’ve played one more minute than we should have done already and the cross comes over, Fonte heads behind and the final whistle goes.  Fucking brilliant lads.

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a game where we’ve spent 45 getting completely battered in terms of possession but not conceded a shot on target.  This tells you how well we defended.  I went searching on Twitter afterwards to see if I could find any clueless bastard Chelsea fan who moaned about us parking the bus and there were plenty.  If you do a google image search on 'park the bus', you will find a load of images relating the Chelsea.  There's a good reason for this.  I’ll be amazed if the DVD of their Champions League triumph a few years ago has been edited to show that Chelsea didn’t park the bus from the quarter finals onwards.  Yes, Chelsea and Jose have not been averse to parking the bus over the last few years and as we remember from League 1 days, you have to break these teams down and Chelsea didn’t.  The only on target thing that Fraser had to deal with was Jose Fonte volleying a ball at Big Vic which bounced to him. 

Chelsea created nothing at all really and predictably, Jose Mourinho made sure no one was talking about that afterwards by making sure we were all talking about the non-penalty decision with his assertion that there was a ‘campaign’ against his side.  Bullshit.  When you have every single major media outlet trying to sell all your players – that’s a campaign and are you honestly suggesting that big clubs get a worse shake on the dodgy decision front when you look over a whole season?

We fought so hard and totally deserved the point.  All 14 players put a massive shift in and Ronald Koeman again deserves massive credit for coming up with a game plan and formation to get something from that game.  Bertrand and Clyne are massive players for us whatever formation we play but Matt Targett and Maya Yoshida in the main defended superbly.  Koeman was brave enough to throw Florin Gardos on when Maya began to struggle and he coped well with Drogba and Costa.  In midfield we looked very makeshift at times with players being dragged into unfamiliar positions, especially when Morgan got sent off.  That’s the only disappointing thing about the game as he now misses the Arsenal game and both the tackles he got booked for were pretty brainless.  I can almost forgive the 2^nd one but the 1^st was stupid.

So, we’ve played all 19 teams now and we’re 4^th in the league.  Our run of difficult fixtures shows no sign of abating for now as after Arsenal we have Man United and Newcastle away.  Post Arsenal we get the January transfer window where I’m sure we’re going to get bombarded with Morgan and probably Clyney to the big clubs.  We just have to sigh and get on with it.  Today was a brilliant point and the best thing about it is that it shows the players that they can live with the big boys.   Talking of which, Arsenal are next and I feel we owe them one after that last minute heist they staged against us at The Emirates – the bastards.