Everything is Shit because we lost and so is this Jumper.
The big guns just keep on coming as we face Man United at
home. They are of course a club in
crisis and turmoil, being as they are, 5th in the League and having spent about
£200 million on new players this season.
Crisis. Yep. Supporters of the big boys who started
following post-1992 really have no idea of what a crisis is. Try League 1 with minus 10 points chaps. Maybe it’s a crisis that the striker they
signed and are paying about a quarter of a million a week to, is only fit for
20 minutes, according to Louis Van Gaal.
Perhaps that money could have been better spent on defenders to replace
Vidic and Ferdinand. Just a thought –
sign the players you need rather than signing them because you can.
Van Gaal of course is Dutch and Ronald Koeman is Dutch and
they don’t like eachother. Basically,
Van Gaal got installed as a Director of Football figure when Koeman was manager
at Ajax and undermined him. On Van
Gaal’s autobiography, Koeman is described as weak and condescendingly called
“little boy”. Koeman doesn’t seem
bothered that much but I bet he wants to win this game above all others.
To that end we are of course struggling with injuries with
Morgan, Corky and JWP definitely out and Toby Alderweireld touch and go. I can see us dropping Steve Davis further
back and giving Harrison Reed a full debut.
United have injuries too, to Shaw and di Maria but the difference of
course is that their resources are massive and playing a game every 3 days is
not really an issue for them whereas we happen to be playing all the Champions
League sized clubs in December, when the fixture list gets most congested and
the bigger squads are most useful. I
think I’m making excuses before the game actually starts.
Monday night 8pm kick off and as things stand we’ve dropped
to 4th in the league behind West Ham.
Let that sink in for a bit. Sam Allardyce. West Ham. Fair play to them but we could really do with
a win today. A win against United is
good at any time and we haven’t had one for a while. In our first season back in the Premier
League we had 2 defeats, last year we had 2 draws so this year of course, 2
wins is a formality.
Our team news confirms that everyone expected is out but
Reed is still ont h bench with Tadic dropped into a deeper position and both
Long and Mané starting. Maya Yoshida is
preferred to Florin Gardos in the centre of defence. United have both Rooney and RvP up front,
supported by Mata and a central midfield of Fellaini and Carrick which surely
we can get at. Both can only play if
he’s given time and Fellaini is just crap.
There should be joy down the flanks against Valencia and Young as well
and that’s before we get to a back 3 containing the youth of McNair and the
lack of ability of Smalling.
There is a first when I reach the corner of the ground where
the megastore is and some utter wanker is selling Saints/United half and half
scarf. That’s one reason why people hate
United right there… the kind of people they attract.
To the game and away we go with the ball being passed to
Fellaini and Big Vic is straight in and nicking the ball off him. Get in.
With their 3 at the back, United look completely unconvincing and we’re
having the better of the opening 10 minutes without looking threatening. There are decent signs as Long easily beats
Young to a Bertrand cross but loops the header over. More good news is that Tadic and Pellè look
like they’re up for it and getting on the ball and winning headers
respectively. Out of nowhere it all goes
wrong and José turns blind and knocks a ball back towards Fraser but RvP has
seen it all the way and nicked in.
Fraser comes and thinks better of it and gets back and we were all
hoping for an Aguero where he saved it but no, van Persie squeezes it through
his legs and it dribbles into the net.
Utter, utter shit. They haven’t
had a kick but are 1-0 up. My son, aged
10, says “that’s what you always tell us not to do”, referring to my role as
coach of his football team. Fuck. Throw
in, Row Z, corner, thump it 70 yards – anything but that. Fuck.
Stunned. Anyway, on
with the game and a bonus for United as Smalling is injured and has to goo off
to be replaced by Jonny Evans. After the
usual period of nothing after letting in a shit goal, we have a couple of chances. First we nick the ball off McNair in midfield
and Mané drives forward. Tadic is on his left shoulder but he’s greedy and
tried to bundle through and loses it. Pass
it or fucking hit it! Pellè gets in a
shot that de Gea catches comfortably and we have a glorious chance on 28
minutes to level as Tadic finds space and all he has to do is roll it in front
of Long so he can smash it but he overhits it straight to de Gea. United’s defending is shambolic though and we
get another chance a few minutes later as Fellaini farts around with the ball
and loses it to Steve Davis who drives forward and in a mass of tackles and
deflections the ball eventually falls free to Graziano who lashes it left
footed into the top corner of the net to make it 1-1.
Clyne and Tadic build down the right and when the cross
eventually comes in, Mané competes for it and it drops to Shane Long in all
sort of space. He takes his time and
lashes it on the volley over the bar. It’s shite, it has to be said.
We dominate the rest of the first half without making it pay
and van Gaal, known as a tactical genious, removes McNair who has had a shocker
with giving the ball away and puts on Herrera.
Carrick is obviously supposed to drop into the back 3 but no one has
told him and he’s stood there with his arms out in the universally understood
pose for ‘what the fuck am I supposed to be doing?’. He fins himself initially in the right back
position and Sadio Mané burns past him in a hare versus tortoise moment, only
for the hare to fall flat on his arse.
Half time and the feeling is generally positive. Aside from the stupid goal we’ve been decent
and they’ve been shite. Rooney and RvP
have been quiet and Fellaini is up against Big Vic and is losing, massively. With Carrick in defence there has to be
something in this game for us.
The second half starts and the first chance is for an
unexpected source as it’s Maya Yoshida who following a corner finds himself
weaving into the box. He somehow, possibly by accident, slaloms past two
players and it all opens up. From a
tight angle he needs to just put his foot through it but he freezes and does
nothing, allowing a defender to knock the ball out and the twat with the
whistle and the linesman looking right at it give a goal kick.
De Gea is called upon in anger five minutes later as Tadic
finds space on the left and curls in a lovely cross straight onto Long’s
forehead but the Irishman thumps his header straight at the keeper and a
glorious chance is gone. That has to be
headed down and there’s no way he’s getting to it. Another chance comes and goes on the hour
mark as Rojo tries to dribble out of defence and loses it, the ball via Tadic
finding its way to Pellè who connects well but lashes it over the bar. United are shocking but they do win a corner
and Rooney goes over to take it. It’s hilariously bad as he balloons it over
everyone and out for the throw in on the other side.
We have a sub warming up and it looks like it’s Jake Hesketh
who has never played before. It’s a few
minutes before he gets to come on and United get a free kick wide on the
left. On he comes for Tadic which is a
bit of shock as Reed has not been used.
Rooney hoofs over the free kick from the left and it travels miles over
everyone and Fraser is rooted to his line as RvP connects with the outside of
his left boot from about 4 yards out and pokes it through his legs for 2-1. Oh
fuck right off. How can a 6 foot 7 goalkeeper not deal with that – punch it,
catch it, do something. Having said
that, no fucker has gone with him and it’s a free shot but it has to be a big
shout from the keeper. Like at the Arsenal game, I take a big kick at the empty
seat in front of me. Not happy.
We gamely go back on the attack and create a chance thought
Clyne, Hesketh and Davis who gets into the box and from 15 yards decides not to
shoot and passes it too far ahead of Long who is offside anyway. Just fucking hit it!!! Our next chance starts with Long losing the
ball and hammering back into his own half to dispossess Squirrel Head who does
the predictable beting of the fist on the turf when he doesn’t get a free
kick. Mané brings it forward and feeds
Graziano and his snap shot from the left is superbly pushed aside by de Gea low
down to his left.
There are 10 minutes to go and it’s time for some impact
from the bench, only we haven’t got any as Mayuka comes on for Shane Long. He’s
not had the best of games but I’m questioning Ronald on this one. If Shane can still walk he’s more likely to
contribute than Mayuka. I’m done with this
game, slumped back in my chair. He’s
shit, we’ve given it to them, their fans are twats, I hate everything.
85 minutes and the shit one pressures Evans into giving us a
corner. Eventually after it’s cleared we
recycle it back to Clyne on the edge of the box and his effort fizzes about a
two feet wide of the post.
Once the Clyne chance had been and gone there was a
realisation that it wasn’t going to happen.
United took off Mata which served as a reminder to me that he was
actually playing and Mané tried to make a contribution by launching a scissor
tackle at van Persie which should really have resulted in him being sent
off. United got angry about a challenge
by Fonte in which he clattered someone in the head with a raised arm and
Squirrel Head managed to get himself booked by chasing the referee around and
flapping his arms. The End.
I think I must have been more pissed off at the end of a
football match before but I’m struggling to think of it right now. I was pissed off at The Emirates last week
but nothing on this. Fuck it. A golden chance to beat United and we totally
threw it away. United created the square
root of fuck all and we give them two goals from a stupid backpass and some
dodgy goalkeeping. United created
nothing else and didn’t have another shot.
We were the better side by a mile but that didn’t take much
to be honest and there were still major deficiencies in our play. Our finishing is not clinical enough and
there were times when we seemed to back off and allow Fellaini time to not look
like the totally abysmal footballer that he is.
He still failed though. Of
course, our strength in depth and lack thereof bit us in the arse again.
I know I go on about him but Mayuka is complete shit. He’s not a Premier League player in a million
years and I doubt he’s even Championship standard. I’d take Papa Waigo ahead of him and I’d
certainly take Guly do Prado ahead of him. There is absolutely no debate – he
is woeful. There’s something wrong when
Gaston Ramirez is warming the bench at Hull and not on our bench and we’re
having to use shite like Mayuka and we have no alternative to Mané when he’s
having a shocker. Obviously J-Rod can’t
get fit quickly enough but in the meantime, to me, Ramirez covers both wings
positions and the No 10 position – I know he’s never really done it but he’s
better than what we have on the bench.
I’m also a bit bemused by Jake Hesketh coming on. Whilst it’s great to have another academy kid
making his debut – what has Harrison Reed done wrong? Seems that he’s not trusted to play the
defensive midfield positions so where is he going to play if someone is
promoted over him to play in an attacking midfield position.
An honest appraisal of United would be that they were
awful. Some nice passing in front of our
defence when we stood off them but no threat and not much control. Carrick and Fellaini are shite if you get in
their faces and Fellaini in particular plays like he has callipers on his legs, Just remember Scholes and Keane in midfield
for them and then look at Carrick and Fellaini.
I thought Young and Valencia did well on the wings but the defence was
all over the shop and bailed out by de Gea who was excellent. Van Persie took his goals well of course
after we’d presented them to him but otherwise, he and Squirrel Head huffed and
puffed and created very little.
The line to remember from Koeman’s post match press
conference was “everything is shit because we lost”. That’s a brilliant
appraisal of things. We played ok and
were the better side but it’s all going to be for nothing if we throw the
opposition a couple of goals. In the
last 4 games we’ve conceded 7 goals and only the one up at Arsenal has not been
a glaring error by us. Van Gaal
acknowledged that United were lucky and we were the better side. Is that any consolation? No it fucking isn’t.
Positives for us were that Pellè looked himself again and
Tadic had a decent game. Apart from the
backpass, Fonte did a good job and Yoshida did what you expect a cover centre
back to do – solid enough and no big mistakes.
Big Vic and Steve Davis were excellent in midfield in breaking up play
but then there were still problems.
Mané and Long were generally poor with Mané either choosing the wrong
option or falling on his arse and Long being at his unclinical worst. He had two great chances - a header straight at de Gea and the chance
he lashed over the bar when he had loads of time.
So frustrating.
United were there for the taking and we threw it away. One final point is that I feel that there has
been a lack of belief that we could win our last 3 games. We really should have got 4 points from the
Arsenal and United games but we’ve got 0 which is fucking annoying.
Next up we have Burnley away which is a great chance to
repair the confidence and get things sorted.
They’ll be up for it and will test us but as long as we don’t throw any
stupid goals in, we should be coming back from Turf Moor with 3 points.
I hate United.
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