Rearrange the Letters in HULK and it spells SHIT (if you change a few)
28/6/14
2nd Round – Brazil
1 Chile 1 (Brazil
The knockout stages started with the host nation in a game which
according to manager Scolari, they really didn’t want against Chile . I love the way Chile approach things – they
haven’t got many great individual players but they are so much more than the
sum of their parts and they play as if their lives depend on it. That said, they fell behind on 18 minutes
when a cross was flicked on and was bindled into the net at the far post with
David Luiz getting the credit. There is
a curious phenomena at this World Cup where the replay proves something quite
different and the commentators refuse to alter their original belief. It’s quite clearly an own goal by Jara who
has stuck a leg out but no matter how many times this is shown, it’s still
David Luiz’ goal and then FIFA announce that it’s Luiz’ goal. It ultimately doesn’t matter a shit but Luiz
hasn’t even got a touch there. Against
the script and therefore hugely funny was a Chile equalizer before half time.
Marcelo took a throw in near his own corner flag and threw it to Hulk who had
the first touch of a man wearing concrete wellies. Aranguiz nicks in and passes infield to
Sanchez who, being unmarked as he is, fires it past Cesar and into the far
corner. Great finish but shocking play
from Brazil . Much has been said about bent refereeing
favouring the host nation but Howard Webb hasn’t read the script as a long
cross picks out Hulk who controls around the shoulder area and mis-hits it into
the net off his knee. It looks perfectly
ok and then gets disallowed for handball.
It’s marginal to say the least but fair play to Webb, he believes he’s
right and disallows it and shows a yellow card to Hulk. Scolari is going beserk and you just know
that Webb is on his way home now.
Personally I think it’s a harsh decision and if Chile had had a goal disallowed
like that then we’d all have been going nuts.
The problem with Brazil
is that they have some right shit payers and they keep the quota the same by
removing Fred and bringing on Jo who is slightly more mobile but still shite. Hulk is their most likely forward to score
but he mixes up great runs with throwing himself on the ground. Extra time passes and Brazil collectively shites its
pants and Panilla smacks the bar from 25 yards on 119 minutes and we have our
first penalty shootout.
The penalty shootout is an average affair and it’s 3-2 to Brazil as Gonzalo Jara takes the fifth Chilean
penalty and hits the inside of the post and Brazil are through – just. Needless to say, Hulk missed.
2nd Round – Colombia
2 Uruguay
Before this game we get word that Luis Suarez has made a
statement and it’s that he slipped and kept his balance only by plunging his
teeth into the shoulder of Chiellini. This
is about as hilarious as when an MP says that he slipped and fell into that
rent boy. By showing no remorse and no
admission that anything was wrong, he should really be slapped with a longer
ban whch of course, won’t happen. To the
game itself and Colombia
are the better side throughout and a new global star is born as James Rodriguez
controls a high ball on his chest with his back to goal, chests is sideways in
the same movement and volleys it left footed in off the bar. It’s a ridiculous goal and put the Colombians
1-0 u after half an hour. It’s 2-0
straight after half time as the Uruguayans are carved open and Cuadrado
cushioned a header back for Rodriguez to score again. Cuadrado seems to be a very influential
player and he’s got nifty dance move as all the Colombians do their thang
corner flag. Ospina made a couple of
saves as Uruguay belatedly
went for it but Uruguay
and their fans with their Suarez masks are gone. Colombia
will be a major threat to Brazil
in the quarter finals.
How to Make Sure the Ref Gives It
29/6/14
2nd Round – Netherlands
2 Mexico
The first half of this was interesting without ever really
catching fire, unlike anyone who was in the stadium as the temperatures were
ridiculous – so much so that we had the first ‘cooling break’ of the tournament
after half an hour which gives FIFA delegates a chance to do some spread
betting. Mexico looked the better side
but in truth, neither really looked like scoring though the Dutch should have
had a penalty when Robben was hacked over twice in one move but not given. The Mexicans went 1-0 up straight after half
time as the ‘useless at Spurs’ Giovani dos Santos lashed in a shot from 30 yards which
gave the keeper no chance and sent his manager pogoing round the technical area
in celebration. Mexican keeper Ochoa
came into his own at that point and made a series of saves, mainly good
reaction stops to efforts fired straight at him. The best of which was an instinctive block
from a close range de Vrij volley which bounced off his hands, onto the post
and away. The second cooling break sw
van Gall replace van Persie with Huntelaar which basically heralded a change of
tactic to ‘long diagonal ball’. It
worked though with 2 minutes to go as Huntelaaar headed down a cross at the far
post and Schnijder, despite being invisible all tournament, fired brilliantly
into the bottom corner from 20 yards showing that the keeper is beatable if you
stop shooting straight at him.
Extra-time here we come but a last Dutch attack saw them feed Robben who
attacked the box, skipped past one lunge and then went down under a tired hack
from Marquez. Has he touched him? yes,
is it a dive? yes, should it have been a penalty? In my opinion yes. Up stepped Huntelaar, 2-1 and we get to hear Chiles calling him van Huntelaar in the post
match shambles but the Netherlands
march on and the Mexican manager Herrera throws a colossal wobbler but what a
legend he has been.
2nd Round – Costa
Rica 1 Greece
1 (Costa Rica
Let’s face it, the first half was shit as it always seems to
be when Greece are playing and they should have taken the lead on half time as
Salpingidis met a superb cross from the left on the full and Navas deflected it
wide with his foot. Five mintes after
half time it was the Costa Ricans who took the lead as Fulham reject Bryan Ruiz
sidefooted home beautifully from the edge of the box and everyone just watch it
rll in. The should have had a penalty as
well for a clear handball a bit later but they handed Greece a lifeline when
Duarte lunged in and was sent off for a second yellow. Greece are hardly known
for their skills in chasing the game but they now have a chance which they took
until the 91st minute to take as Papasthatopoulos rammed home a
rebound. Extra time and the ten men were
now clear 2nd favourites and Greece had the best chances extra
time but it was penalties again. The
Greek manager managed to get himself sent to the stands at this point and there
were 7 successful spot kicks with neither keeper getting near any of them
until, with Costa Rica leading 4-3, Navas superbly saved Gekas’ kick and Umana
casually stroked home the winner. Costa Rica in the last 8 and the only team
they’ve played who they didn’t beat… bloody England .
Keeper Legend
30/6/14
2nd Round – France
2 Nigeria
The biggest surprise of the World Cup is not Costa Rica making the last 8 – it’s been that France haven’t
had to send a player home yet. Nigeria
on the face of it should cause them any problems but they do and have the ball
in the net as Emunike slides it past Lloris only for a very tight (but correct)
offside flag to deny the Africans. France are
playing some decent stuff though and it’s amusing that Paul Pogba is at the
centre of it. This is the guy that Man
United had but never gave him a chance and so he left. Now he’s one of the best central midfielders
in Europe and United have Tom Cleverley. Pogba drives forward and sets up Valbuena who
picks him out with the cross but Pogba’s volley is spectacularly kept out by
Enyeama. The seond half sees Nigeria looking
like the better side but France creating the chances. Benzema plays a quick 1-2 to get free and his
shot is half blocked by Enyeama and then hacked off the line by Moses then
following a corner, the ball finds its way out to Cabaye on the egge of the box
and his angled volley hits the bar on the far side with the keeper
nowhere. Enyeama had been having a great
game for Nigeria but he
handed the game to France
on the 80th minute when he came for a cross, got nowhere near
catching it and just flapped it up in the air for Pogba to head into the empty
net. In the last minute, a Valbuena
cross was deflected into his own net by Yobo to confirm French passage into the
next round to play the winners of ze Germans and Algeria. For me, the French are still a good bet to
win it – they seem solid all over the pitch and don;t have any obvious
weaknesses.
2nd Round – Germany
2 Algeria
Joachim Low seems to have a strange compulsion to play
players out of position. The have centre
backs at full back on both sides and Philip Lahm who is one of the best in the World in either full back position,
playing in midfield. Germany are
basically very lethargic and not very good.
Most of their play goes through Mesut Ozil who then gives the ball
away. Algeria look dangerous on their
forays forward with Neuer often having to race from his line to compensate for
a ponderous back 4. He’s out and making
a superb sliding tackle on Slimani which could easily have resulted in a goal
or a red card. Slimani has the ball in
the net as he slides in a Musa cross but he’s offside. Ze Germans are having chances though and the
excellent Rais MBohli pulls of an excellent double save from Mario Gotze. The bloody keeper is at it again when he
somehow blocks a point blank header from Thomas Muller and then is up to
smother the rebound from Schurrle. The
reason I say ‘bloody’ keeper is because I have Germany to win in 90 minutes as
part of an accumulator. It goes against
every fibre of my being to want ze Germans to win and typically, they are
messing me about. The keeper makes a
wonderful finger tip save from Lahm and the 90 minutes are up, the bets are
screwed and now I can support Algeria . As soon as extra time starts they concede a
goal as Muller gets down the left, crosses behind Schurrle who manages to drag
a leg and flick it into the net past MBohli – could have done that a minute
earlier you git. It’s soon 2-0 as Ozil
passes the ball in the right direction to Schurrle. His shot is blocked by a defender and the
rebound falls kindly for Ozil to smash it in the net. Algeria give it a spirited response
and pull one back with a minute to do as Fegouli (who has what looks like a
maxi-pad taped to his head) crosses and Djabou rams it into the net on the
volley. Too little too late though and
the very average Germans are through to play France . Algeria go out with their head held high
having given it a real go in almost exactly the same way as England didn’t.
I know who you learnt that shit celebration off of
1/7/14
2nd Round – Argentina
1 Switzerland
I’ve kind of been ignoring Argentina in this World Cup so far
as they’ve progressed through a pretty easy group. Excellent attack, good midfield, dodgy
defence. They surely would have too much
for Switzerland but the Swiss have the best chances of the first half as Xhaka hits
one from the edge of the box which requires a decent stop from Romero, who then
saves the shot from the rebound for good measure. The keeper gets lucky before half time as
Shaquiri plays Drmic though and Romero comes, then stops, then goes back and
Drmic made a right balls of it and his attempted chip landed in the keepers
arms. Argentina wake up after half time with Higuain having a header tipped
over by Benaglio and Messi teeing himself up for a volley from the edge of the
box which narrowly clears the bar. Messi
is of course the main threat and some quality dribbling in the box sees him
find a yard and fire for the bottom corner but again, Benaglio gets down well
to save. It’s all Argentina at
the start of extra time and Benaglio is there again to superbly deny di Maria who
is shooting on sight virtually every time he gets the ball. Its 2 minutes to penalties when Messi picks
it up on halfway, skips away from a tackle and slides it right to di Maria who
passes it into the far corner of the net.
Great finish and Switzerland
are done.... or are they. Time is up as
a cross is swung over, Dzemaili gets his hed to it and it thumps off the base
of the post, rebounds back, hits Dzemaili on the knee and trickles wide. Argentina through but not
particularly convincing.
2nd Round – Belgium
2 USA
For me, the pick of the quarter finals is Brazil v
Colombia. If the referee is fair then I
see Colombia winning it to be honest, probably after extra time as I can’t see
Brazil dealing with Cuadrado and James Rodriguez. I’m going for France against Germany in what
will probably be a dour affair, Netherlands against Costa Rica where the Costa
Rica bubble will burst and Argentina against Belgium after extra time. I never win my accumulators so ignore me.
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