Scolari had 7 in the Sweepstake
8/7/14
Semi Finals
All anyone was
focussing on was how Brazil
would replace Neymar and they all wore ‘Forca Neymar’ caps which made them look
stupid. A ‘Forca Thiago’ cap would have
been a much better investment as the main man in the defence was always going
to be more missed against the Germans.
David Luiz even held up Neymar’s shirt for the national anthem. Knob.
I rarely listen to the TV pundits but Alan Hansen said before the game
that Luiz “doesn’t have an ounce of communication in him”, clearly implying
that he defence would be a shambles without their leader. How right he was. You also wondered where Brazil were going to
find a goal from without Neymar and relying on Hulk and Fred or “Can’t Shoot”
and “Won’t Move” as they should be known.
After 10 fairly
even minutes, Germany
won a corner and swung it into the box. Germany ’s best
player Thomas Muller was totally unmarked about 8 yards out, right in the
middle of the goal and just cushioned a volley into the net. David Luiz was supposed to be marking him but
was nowhere to be seen. I went to the
pub at this point and was at the bar, just as Klose had a free shot from 10
yards which Cesar parried out and then another free shot which he rolled into
the net. 2-0 and the camera pans to aghast looking Brazilian people in the
crowd.
By the time I’d
finished getting served and sat down, it was 4-0. At 2-0, what you should do is say “we’re
going to get to half time at 2-0 down, chat from the manager and come out firing,
get an early goal back and who knows”.
You’re still in the game at 2-0 but you’re not if you do what Brazil did
next. Marcelo went wandering off up the
wing and no defensive cover was forthcoming from the pathetic Bernard. Lahm’s cross was missed by Fernandinho and
Kroos steamed in and smashed it past Cesar for 3-0. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any
worse / funnier / humiliating / shocking – Brazil kicked off, passed it back
through Luiz to Dante who fed it into Fernandinho who lost the ball to Khedira,
Khedira to Kroos, Kroos to Khedira and back again, sidefoot, 4-0. I can’t remember ever seeing something more
ridiculous on a football pitch anywhere, let alone from the home team in a
World Cup Semi Final. What you need now
if for your main central defender and captain to turn his back on a 50/50
challenge like a complete fucking pussy and allow Khedira to win it, play a 1-2
with Ozil and pass another on into the net for 5-0. Half time... what the fuck. Luiz is great with the snidey elbow in the
face on the blindside of the ref but when it comes to actually doing his job
and making a tackle in plain sight – forget it.
All Scolari
could do was damage limitation and maybe take some of his shit players off so
that meant the end of Hulk and Fernandinho for Ramires and Paulinho
respectively. Go and score 6 lads... The second half was a bit half paced as Germany just
passed it around. No one was going to
risk getting booked or copping a bad tackle so it was all a bit stand-offish
until Germany
brought on Schurrle for Klose. Schurrle
obviously wants to play in the final and with 10 minutes of coming on he got
himself on the end of another right wing move around Marcelo and put it past
Cesar for 6-0. 7 up wasn’t long in
coming and this was possibly the best goal of the lot in terms of the finish as
Schurrle crashed it first time, off the underside of the bar from the near post
It should have
been 8-0 as Ozil was clean through with just Cesar to beat but he rolled it
wide and he was made to pay, sort of, as Brazil went straight up the other end
and Oscar got to blast one past Neuer from point blank range to make it
7-1.
Make no mistake,
Germany were excellent and
back to their ruthlessly efficient best but Brazil were fucking terrible. It was like watching the worst school kids
team when their manager is just yelling at them for being shit. There was no plan and no discipline and it
was basically just a fucking shambles which has to go down to Scolari. David Luiz proved Alan Hansen correct with
quite possibly the worst captains’ performance ever. I guess as a captain you can lead by word or
deed or preferably both but leading by ‘none of the above’ really isn’t going
to cut it in a World Cup Semi Final when your team is struggling. Lots of tears all round from all the players
but to be honest, 7-1 flattered Brazil . Germany eased off in the second
half and regardless of this, Ozil missing a sitter was all that stopped it
being 8-0 anyway. The biggest shame was
the way that Brazil
played in the tournament as a whole. Too
many piss-poor players – how does Bernard and Hulk get picked ahead of Coutinho
- and their strong arm tactics combined
with Refereenho mean that not many tears will have been shed outside of Brazil
itself. They’ve managed to go from the
team everybody love to the opposite.
It was always
gong to be a case of after the Lord Mayor’s show and within 5 minutes you could
see that this was going to be a tactical battle between two teams who were
reluctant to open out and go for it. Argentina rely
solely on Messi doing something whereas the Dutch just want to use Robben’s
pace. I think I fell asleep in the first
half. There were that few incidents of
note and one shot from free kick which Messi put straight at Cillessen. The second half was different in that it was
even worse. Extra time was a little bit
better with Robben actually having a shot and Cillessen made a coupe of routine
saves but it was always going to go to penalties. Van Gaal, praised for the keeper substitution
in the last round, had made all 3 subs including taking off van Persie who took
the first penalty for them in the last round penalty win against Costa Rica .
The first
penalty is so important and really needs your best penalty taker. The Dutch sent up Ron Vlaar and the Argies
sent up Messi. Vlaar’s kick was crap and
straight down the middle and an easy save for Romero and by the time Romero had
pulled off a decent save from Sneijder’s kick and then Aguero scored, it was
3-1 to the Argies and the game was nearly up.
Kuyt scored, Rodriguez scored and game over. The Netherlands best penalty taker,
Huntelaar, never even got to take one.
Maybe van Gaal isn’t so much of a genius after all. More evidence is in that the Dutch haven’t
scored for 240 minutes in open play. You could see why he put Krul in goal for the
penalties in the last round – it turns out that Cillesen has never saved one
ever and you could see why as he kind of collapsed in on himself with every
penalty. It turned out later that two
Dutch players bottled taking the first kick which is why Vlaar ended up taking
one so he can be excused but they should have got Huntelaar on the first one
and worried about the 5th if they were still in it.
So – we have
Europe against South America in the final and I’ll be hoping Europe win through
Germany . I remember sitting down to watch the final in
1986 when it was these two teams and as it was post-Hand of Bastard, it was an
easy decision to make as to who to support…. Not the mention the Falklands thing. In
the 1990 final, Germany had
just knocked England
out and Klinsmann was at his diving bastard worst and the Argies were a
piss-boring team of thugs with a fading Maradona who was public enemy number 1.
In 1990 I wanted both to lose.
What we really
need in the 2014 final is an early German goal or else I can see it being
another bore-fest as the Germans mark Messi out of the game and Argentina play
9 at the back. Before that though there
is the 3rd place playoff or the ‘Not Give a Shit’ match which will
see all the squad players from the Netherlands play against the strongest team
Brazil can possibly put out.
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