NPC Match 36 - Southampton 2 Barnsley 0

Dad... what do those squiggles mean ?

You would think that a fixture against Barnsley at home for a promotion chasing club should be 3 points and no question about it.  However, having had a look at the league table, I see that they are only one point behind the Ipswich side who we drew with on Tuesday.  I make no apology for tipping them to finish last this season which they quite clearly, will not do as it doesn’t look like they’re even going to flirt with the relegation places so well done to Keith Hill who masterminded Rochdale doing a league double over us last season. They were forced to sell their top scorer in January as well as Ricardo Vaz Te decided he fancied the challenge to trying to control passes that came down with snow on them and joined Fat Sam at West Ham.

Fat Sam was at his ‘fat gobshite’ best after his teams midweek draw with Watford, proclaiming that he wanted some chips and a pie but also that they’d have won the league already if they had Rickie Lambert.  Not only does this dig at us as we have not already won the league with Rickie Lambert but it also says that he thinks Carlton Cole, Nicky Maynard, Ricardo Vaz Te, John Carew, Sam Baldock, Freddie Piquionne, Franck Nouble and Freddie Sears aren’t good enough which is amusing considering he signed 4 of those players (I think) for about £10 million quid.  He has decided to loan a couple of these strikers out and so ironically (or deliberately), Nouble lines up for Barnsley against us today.  Another clear indication of why you shouldn’t be allowed to loan to clubs in the same division.  I hope we loan out Lee Barnard to someone who West Ham have still got to play.

Nearly every game at SMS is a father and son experience for me.  Usually I’m the son but today I’m the father as my 7 year old is in the house today and he will no doubt be applying FIFA 12 tactics all the way through the game and singing the ‘Rickie Lambert Southampton Goal Machine’ song whilst the rest of the Kingsland sit there in virtual silence.  He’d already caused my first moment of hilarity for the day by pointing at the sign being held by the Japanese Saints fans outside the megastore and asking me what those funny squiggles were.   Our wander round the megastore has resulted it a 1-0 win for me as we have left without purchasing another bloody foam hand, our dog having destroyed the last one.

To the team news and I was expecting Billy Sharp, Jack Cork and Chappers to all be playing but they weren’t and the team was the same as the Ipswich game except for Danny Fox coming back in for Dan Harding.  Again there was no keeper on the bench and Steve de Ridder kept his place with Chappers again mysteriously missing out altogether.

Barnsley keeper Luke Steele had a shocker last week and chipped a pass straight to a Middlesbrough forward who promptly returned it straight over his head to score.  I imagine that his manager had been saying “don’t worry about it” and “safety first” and “don’t do it again you prick” and all that stuff so I bet the same manager was doing his nut as Steele took ages to clear and was closed down by Chung, causing the kick to be sliced straight to Sir Rickie.  Unfortunately, this caught the big man by surprise and the chance was lost as he failed to control.

Saints were finding a lot of space and Barnsley didn’t appear keen to close us down too much as Chung’s pace was a worry to them.  The Man from Japan worked the next opening and really should have pulled the trigger rather than trying to play in Guly and so the chance was gone as someone got a foot in.  It was heart in mouth time straight after that as we coughed up another free header from a corner as we are prone to do.  Barnsley’s Foster rose unchallenged in a majestic fashion.  In his mind he probably envisaged thumping a header into the top corner but the reality was that he produced one of the most shite headers imaginable that would have gone for a throw in on the opposite side.

It has all gone a bit scrappy and the main problems appear to be in our midfield.  Guly has obviously been instructed not to play wide so if Hammond or Schneiderlin have the ball they are looking right and no one is there so they come back inside, we play a few passes amongst ourselves before playing it back for Superkelv to hoof it.  It’s not great but naturally, this is all Guly’s fault, especially in the mind of the Old Moany Bollox who is sitting just behind my son.  “Oh, Guleeeeeeeeee”, he opines as Frazer plays him a hospital pass which as I explain to my son, is a pass when the receiver has two blokes up his arse and it’s not the fault of the person receiving the pass if he loses it.  Could someone else please explain this to Old Moany Bollox because I reckon a 7 year old would get it quicker than he would.

We have a half chance as a Fox corner is headed over by Jose (who has scored as many goal as Jack Cork this season) and we have a bit of a scare as ex-Skate Cotterill (not the thick yokel ex-manager) cuts in off the left wing and curls a decent effort just wide of the far post.

35 minutes had gone and we were not looking threatening at all so it was a bit of a surprise (a pleasant one) when we took the lead out of nowhere as Frazer chipped in a dead straight ball from the centre circle, which Sir Rickie headed back to Lallana who took a touch before ramming the ball into the net for 1-0.  It is like a weight has been lifted and the remainder of the first half is dictated by us as we stroke the ball around – in control without ever looking entirely convincing.

Half time arrives with us 1-0 up and news starts filtering around the ground that West Ham and Reading are both winning and that Notts County are winning 4-0 at runaway League 1 leaders Charlton.  Why is this relevant?  Well, none other than Jonno Pace has scored a hat-trick for Notts County.  It’s one of those pieces of news that makes you think for a second and then you remember what he’s usually like.  Lee Holmes has also been doing well whilst on loan at League 2 Oxford which means bugger all in the context of being at the top of the Championship.

We start the second half and are looking a lot more composed and threatening and nearly go 2-0 up when Morgan decides to have a pop from 30 yards and forces a decent save out of Steele.  It doesn’t take long for us to break through again however as Chung beats one defender to the ball before setting off on a run down the left wing, skinning another defender in the process.  When he reaches the by-line, instead of panicking and lashing it anywhere, he waits and eventually rolls it back to present Lallana with an open goal which he doesn’t miss.  As Adam celebrates in front of the Northam, you can pick out the Japanese Saints who are going nuts and waving their banners about.  Excellent work.

From being a scratchy performance, it’s suddenly looking like we may win by 4 or 5 as we flood forward and win a free kick as Barnsley panic and decide they would be safer if Chung was on his face eating the grass, rather than running at them.  Just to the left of centre in perfect Sir Rickie territory but after the excitement builds he drills it straight into the wall.  It’s his last action of the day as he is replaced with Jack Cork.  On the one hand we’ve replaced our biggest goal threat with Corky Nogoals but on the other hand, he’s my sons favourite player so he will hopefully stop asking me when Jack is coming on.

The passing football is now in full flow and following some great work from us and shadow chasing from Barnsley, Adam was played in but scuffed his hat-trick chance for Steele to save comfortably.  Foxy then bursts down the left wing before firing over a peach of a cross towards Chung and as the Japanese Saints had a collective heart attack, he lunged and didn’t quite get a touch.  It’s his last contribution as he takes a standing ovation from the whole ground as he leaves to be replaced with David Connolly.

OK, own up – who bought a ticket in the Jack Cork lottery this week?  To be fair, Corky had made a massive difference when he came on, simply by passing the ball well and quickly and keeping things moving.  The unthinkable then happened when he got within 30 yards of the opponents goal and the little voice in his head said “have a shot”.  It’s like the little voice I get that says “have another beer” when I know that having a beer is what I want to do but I also deep down, know that it’s going to end badly.  Corky took aim and fired and the momentary excitement for those who had him to score at 250-1 was immediately dispelled as the ball flew nearer the corner flag then the goal.  Maybe next week.

As if to remind us that Barnsley were still here, Danny Rose climbed to plant a header onto the base of the post following a left wing free kick which was awarded when Jose needlessly trashed a forward who had the temerity to threaten our goal.  Back up the other end, Adam Lallana had two potential opportunities for his hat-trick, the first of which when he was hauled over in the area but the ref wasn’t interested.  Following that he saw a drive blocked and deflected for a corner and the ref didn’t see this one as a handball (which it looked like).  Nigel decided it wasn’t going to be a hat-trick day and replaced him with Billy Sharp.

As the game closes down, Big Jos has a rumble out of defence and when he gets to 40 yards out, just lashes it left footed, like a missile and on target.  Steele manages to parry out to Connolly who should have taken it first time but in attempting to dink it over Steele, allows him to get a block in and the chance had gone.  It would have put a gloss on the scoreline but no matter, 2-0 will do and the final whistle blows.  All the people that weren’t clapping after the Ipswich game are now all clapping and whilst I find this mildly annoying, I’m not letting it spoil the moment and another win is chalked off.

We were functional today and got the job done.  There were some decent performances but nothing outstanding but I did notice the positive effect that the return of Danny Fox had.  Not only do you get the set piece delivery but you also get a much more solid defence.  Deano was solid today but for me it was really noticeable how we improved when Jack Cork came on.  For me, the midfield has to be Adam, Jack, Morgan and Chappers but then I’d have Lucy Pinder up the front so what do I know.  Barnsley rolled up with a Plan A to try and pay and keep it tight but they had no Plan B when they went behind and the second half was as comfortable as you like for us.  At least they did try and play football but how many saved did Superkelv have to make ?  None.

Nigel gave one of his more baffling interviews after the game quoting literature on big players being more susceptible to injuries when it’s a hot day when asked why Sir Rickie had come off.  It’s pure Adkins gold and the kind of thing that seriously annoys supporters of other teams.  He refused to be drawn on points targets and again quoted literature on the perils of one getting ahead of oneself.  There was nice reaction from Barnsley as well with their assistant manager giving gushing praise about our pass and move football which was nice to hear particularly as we weren’t great today…

The flaw in West Ham’s plan to help out other teams who have to play us is of course that the player they lent out is about the 7^th choice of all the strikers that Fat Sam thinks aren’t good enough.  Fat Sam has this one right though as Nouble was complete shite.  Talking of our immediate promotion rivals – well Reading stuffed Leicester 3-1 and Fat Sam’s Total Football Academy could only manage a draw at home to Doncaster.  Meanwhile, West Ham… they’ve loaned in Stephen Henderson from the Skates until the end of the season, paying ‘a significant fee’ for the privilege.  Only the truly cynical would think that they’ve only done this to safeguard the 6 points they won off of the useless fuckers. 

As for Henderson, well – he gave it the large one about Saints fans at Fratton Park and also about being part of the ridiculous Pompey Wolfpack as they called themselves – so loyal.  Hmmmm, my arse – and talking of arses, he’s off to get splinters in his from the West Ham bench and not play any football for the rest of the season which will surely damage the decent chance he had to go to Euro 2012 with Ireland.  Anyone remember Kelvin Davis turning down a move to Premiership West Ham to stay with Saints in League 1 because he wanted to play?  To be fair to Henderson though, he probably had no choice whatsoever.

The Football League Award happened on Sunday night where both Sir Rickie and Adam Lallana were up for the Championship Player of the Year Award along with Peter Whittingham of Cardiff.  Much to my surprise, one of our boys won it with Sir Rickie carrying away the award which is totally deserved as he’s had a blinder of a season so far.  The comedy story of the evening though was in the ‘Family Care in the Community of the Year Award’ section and this was won by the Skates.   I anticipate crowds of 250,000 on Southsea common to celebrate a Family award to the club that probably forced some families to have to sell their houses and cars by not paying the small business that the family worked for.  If the club cared about families and their community – maybe they’d have been run in a fashion to ensure that there was a club for these people to support.

So, all in all a bloody good weekend, three points, clean sheet, Fat Sam drops two points and Sir Rickie gets a gong.  We have two away games up next with the first being a trip to Millwall on Saturday when we will hopefully avenge the FA Cup defeat at our place.  There are 10 games to go and lots of people are pondering how many points we’ll need to go up.  There are two possible answers to this question; ‘Thirty more points’ and ‘one more than Reading or West Ham’.

10 games to go, 30 points needed.

COYR

Sir Rickie: Best Player in the Championship (Official)

Skates: Care in the Community Award