Carling Cup 1st Round - Southampton 4 Torquay 1

Torquay's Finest Can't Believe Bart saved his Header

Torquay at home in the Carling Cup 1^st Round and a chance for yours truly to take his 6 year old to the game.  My dad, in his infinite wisdom, had bought my son one of those big foam hand things from the Saints Megastore a week or so earlier and the hand was present.  I realised what sort of evening I was going to be in for when I got hit in the face with the hand three times and we hadn’t even parked the car yet.  Usually we park on the Woolston side of the Itchen Bridge and walk across so I did wonder if the wind would send the foam hand swimming in the river but we instead parked near the ground so unavoidably, the hand was coming to the game.

Once in the ground, my lad was picking out the players in the warm up and realised that his favourite, Jose Fonte wasn’t there.  All the others were though but as it turned out, they were all substitutes with only Sir Rickie (Captain for the night), the Gulyman and Aaron Martin surviving from Saturday’s team.  David Connolly and Fonte had dropped out altogether and everyone else was on the bench aside from Jonno Pace who must have been a bit annoyed that he wasn’t playing.

The first ten minutes are kind of neutral with neither team in the ascendancy.  Firstly the Gulyman has a shot blocked following a Holmes cross and then Torquay have a similar effort blocked by Butterfield.  Torquay have a traditional ‘lower league centre forward’ in that he’s pain in the hole without being remotely mobile.  Dan Seaborne is picking him up and trying to try and tackle round him or head over him.

On 13 minutes we take the lead when Chaplow plays a simple pass to Steve de Ridder who cut in and fired it across the keeper into the far corner.  Nice finish but I’m not too sure where the defenders were.    The crowd sat back to await the slaughter and revelled in the first goal for the man from Belgium and it was almost as if the players did too, as Butterfield failed to clear when he had the chance, a cross and a free header later and it was 1-1, about 30 seconds after they kicked off.

Morgan Schneiderlin is having a positive influence on the game, showing the full range of passing, picking out Holmes and de Ridder with regularity.  He’s also getting stuck in and having won the ball back, is hacked down 25 yards out, just left of centre.  If you told Sir Rickie to take a free kick wherever he liked then it would be 25 yards out, just left of centre.  Bang, no one moves, 2-1.  Textbook, foam hand in the face.

Torquay decide to feed the big lumpy bloke up front and it’s working for them as Seaborne is having a nightmare, not winning any headers and not getting his positioning right.  He ends up in front of the ball at one point as Torquay attack and seemed to give up the chase as the two players who got back to clear were Chaplow and Schneiderlin.

The folically challenged midfield maestro is having a great game, playing a bit deeper and with more discipline than usual but still breaking forward well.  In the main, he’s the one coming short to collect the ball so Seaborne and Martin don’t have to revert to smashing it up to Sir Rickie.  Not having a great game is the Gulyman who quite frankly, looks like he doesn’t want to be there.  A few flicks and feints don’t come off and as a result we’re continually turning possession over to Torquay and making it easy for them.

Half time mainly passed with the feeding of sweets and drinks to a 6 year old and mock fights which I had to lose as I didn’t have a big foam hand weapon of mass destruction.   “Portsmouth 0 Barnet 1” said the announcer to which I cheered.  “Why you cheering Dad”.  “Because they’re fu..... erm, losing to a League 2 side”.

Steve de Ridder starts the second half well with some nice skill, quick feet and showboating in general, playing the Gulyman through on goal for an expert finish, denied by a marginal (but early) offside call.  Lee Holmes has another opportunity following a layoff by Sir Rickie but his ambitious chip, clears the keeper and about 10 rows of empty seats at the Chapel End.

On 70 minutes, Hammond and Lallana come on for de Ridder and Holmes and we revert to the often maligned Diamond formation which coincides with Torquay creating a few chances, hitting the outside of a post on one occasion and on another, forcing Bart into a superb save down by the post.  It struck me that I may have to do battle with the foam hand for extra time as well as protecting the people in front of me.

Hammond (“Dad, is he Richard Hammond’s brother?”) and Lallana are beginning to run the game now and a glorious passing move break out on the pitch with Schneiderlin and Lallana combining to present the Gulyman with a sitter from 10 yards which he predictably sidefoots wide in his last action of the day as he’s immediately replace with Jonno Pace.  The sub was ready to come on anyway but to the uneducated it would have looked like Nigel had despaired at the miss and hauled him straight off.

The game is made safe soon afterwards as Chappers cuts in from the right wing and the defence was nowhere, similar to the de Ridder goal.  It looked a bit like a mishit bobbler but whatever it was, it kind of went through the keeper at the near post and made it 3-1.  Regardless of it being a bit streaky, it was a thoroughly deserved goal for our best player on the night.

The game was over now and Saints took over to attempt to put a flattering sheen on the scoreline.  Lallana strode through from midfield and crashed a shot against the bar from 25 yards before the 4^th goal arrived with virtually the last kick as Chappers crossed from the right and Jonno Pace forced it home at the back post.

In the excitement of the fourth goal, a teenage girl with straight hair was accidentally assaulted by a small boy with a large foam hand, resulting in a big lump of statically charged hair sticking out from the back of her head.  Luckily, she didn’t notice though there were 3 generations of my family trying not to laugh.  Game over and into the next round and why not.  Would be quite nice to play a decent side as all the non-Europe competing Premier league sides come into the draw.  Oh yeah, Portsmouth 0 Barnet 1 so it won’t be them.

What was basically our 2^nd string side made hard work of this and but for Bart’s superb save, we were looking at 2-2 and extra time and potential embarrassment.  Seconds later it was 3-1 and fine margins and all that.  I was quite impressed by Torquay’s willingness to have a go but some of their long range shooting was hilarious as at least 4 shots ended up nearer the corner flag than the goal.  As soon as we brought on Hammond and Lallana and got used to the formation change though, we cruised it really.

It was a chance today for our players to show the manager that they should be picked and if I’m being brutally honest, only Chaplow, Bart and de Ridder gave performances that would make the manager think.  Dan Seaborne probably made him think that he needs a new centre half as soon as possible.   We got back to the car in time to hear Diamond Dave eulogising about Bart’s save... “Gordon Banks, I tell you what”.   Hmmm, let me think, Gordon Banks saving from Pele, probably the best player ever, England v Brazil, World Cup 1970 in front of nearly 67,000 people and a TV audience of millions with the whole country behind him against Bart saving from Torquay's finest - Basil Fawlty, Southampton Reserves v Torquay, Carling Cup 2011 in front of about 26,000 empty seats on Saints Player Pay-Per-View.  No comparison.

Next up is Barnsley away and a return to league action as long as there are no Barnsley riots at the weekend.  I can maybe see Chappers starting at right midfield on Saturday as Barnsley away might not be The Gulyman’s cup of tea.  Whoever plays though, we go full of confidence and another 3 points would be very nice, please.