"Diabolical defending Monkey Hangers"
When we played Hartlepool in the away fixture, I had a good old moan that the fixture computer had arranged a 3000 mile trip for us for a midweek game. At least the sense of fair play, so often lacking in football, had deemed that Hartlepool make the return trip in midweek as well. This observation is in fact a load of rubbish as the only reason that this game is on a Tuesday is because we had an FA Cup run and the original Saturday date was occupied. The move from Saturday to Tuesday of course meant that I wasn’t there but was listening to Radio Merrington.
Twas of course, the last game before Wembley so it would be interesting to see what sort of team Pards would put out bearing in mind that we have to win this game as well. Some managers – Rafa Benitez springs to mind – lose many games because they’re worrying about the next one rather than the one in front of them. As it happens, Radhi Jaidi is predictably left on the bench with Dan Seaborne keeping his place, Adam Lallana is rested with Papa Waigo given a start and Dan Harding continues at right back. Worryingly, we line up in a 4-3-1-2 formation with Papa ‘in the hole’ as Tiger Woods would say.
Saints usual fast start was stolen by Hartlepool who pinned us back, finding masses of space down the wings where we had no one. We persevered with being very very poor and continued with the tactic of doing nothing except live dangerously. This lasted until the 15th minute when Hartlepool took a deserved lead when Bob Monkhouse scored from close range.
Pards and Dean Wilkins were in technical area meltdown and following some frantic waving and pointing, they finally managed to wave and point in a language Papa Waigo could understand and Papa was pulled to the right wing. Punch went out to the left and we went to a traditional 4-4-2 and lo and behold, a Waigo cross and a header from Puncheon was kept out by a combination of bar and goalkeeper before sitting up for Lee Barnard to nod into an empty net. Miraculously it wasn’t ruled out for offside and so we were level.
Now playing in a formation that the players understood, we pressed forward and the next twenty minutes was all Saints with Flinders in the Monkey Hangers goal being called on to keep Hatlepool in it. He was helpless on 35 minutes though when a Puncheon cross came in. The centre back had a decision to make and he either had to head it, control it or hoof it. Fail. He decided to take the option of leaving it and giving a striker who has already scored 30 goals this season, a free shot from 12 yards. Bang, 2-1, Sir Rickie does not miss those.
Following the 2nd goal, Hartlepool came back into it again and were unlucky not to be awarded a penalty as Fonte and Seaborne both had a good go at giving one away with shirt holding and handball respectively. The name ‘Richey Humphreys’ came over the radio waves. I remember when he played for Sheffield Wednesday about 15 years ago and he was a fat bastard then. I expect he’s slimmed down a lot by now.
Half time and 2-1. I’m reliably informed by my Dad that that the bloke I had a go at last week was not present today but the guy who makes animal noises through a rolled up programme was there, trying to make puns out of Jason Puncheon’s name about a hundred times. Not funny the first time and unsurprisingly, not funny the hundredth time either. If he is sat near me at Wembley….
The opening ten minutes of the second half is quite even but following a bit of Hartlepool pressure, Puncheon broke away and ran at the defence. He eventually got into a scoring position, only to have his effort cleared off the line before another piece of joke defending when a defender tried to head it back to the keeper who was on his backside at the time. Papa Waigo nipped in scored to make it 3-1.
When you listen to the radio you accept that the commentators are going to miss some stuff, particularly the commentators on Solent but it plumbed new depths when, during the eulogising over the goal, we (the listening public) were informed that Paul Wotton had come on for Schneiderlin, ten minutes previously at half time.
The thought that the game would now be a formality lasted all of a minute until the ball broke to Hartlepool full-back Austin who smashed a brilliant shot in from 25 yards which Kelvin didn’t get anywhere near. Usually you can point the finger and pull out the ‘a team is never more vulnerable than when it has just scored’ cliché. However, this is just a brilliant strike, end of story. So, 3-2 and we still have half an hour to go.
It’s another 15 minutes before Saints manage another shot with Sir Rickie firing one in from 35 yards and forcing a good save from Flinders. The rest of the time is spent chasing Hartlepool around in midfield where we have totally lost the grip. It’s interesting that you would expect Wotton coming on for Morgan to close the game down but the opposite happened because we didn’t retain possession. Morgan is clearly missed and it shows that he’s improving, especially with his tackling and awareness of the defensive side of the game in particular.
Connolly comes on for Sir Rickie and the pattern of play remains mostly the same with Saints mounting the odd break in between giving the ball away lots and inviting Hartlepool onto us. It sounds like Fonte is a one man defensive unit at times with the term ‘Fonte heads it away’ being used repeatedly. Big Dave Merrington only gets animated when Mills is the subject of a very poor tackle and the referee (Andy D’Urso – another Prem ref) does absolutely nothing about it. It’s all Hartlepool and in the last minute they get the obligatory free kick from the edge of the box which gets all fans on the edge of seats and saying prayers. Austin is obviously put off by me shouting ‘fuck off’ at the computer and shoots wide.
The added three minutes produce nothing of note and the final whistle goes to signal an amazing thing – Lee Barnard completes 90 minutes for Saints. The game had finished and we had won, which is all that matters. Yes, we only really played for about 30 minutes of the 90 and yes, Hartlepool maybe deserved a draw as they had a good go considering where they are in the league but as you know, you don’t always get what you deserve in football. For example, do Pompey deserve to be in the FA Cup Semi-Final bearing in mind they’ve cheated? No they don’t. That said, I hope Hartlepool stay up as they won’t be able to afford Richey Humphreys Big Burger Boy Bonus if they go down. Three points for SFC and the gap to the playoffs is now 11 points but nothing changes in reality as we still have to win every game.
Pards post-match interview was class. I particularly like the fact that he admits that he messed up with the formation at the start of the game and he also gave very good insight into why younger players would find it hard not to be thinking of the Wembley date on Sunday. I’ve said this before but I never read a Pards interview and think he’s hiding something or talking rubbish. I must hook out some Burley and Poortvliet interviews for a comparison.
Next up is the JPT Final versus Carlisle at Wembley, in case you didn’t know. I repeat the message to remember that the clocks go forward an hour on Sunday night. Bring it on.
Twas of course, the last game before Wembley so it would be interesting to see what sort of team Pards would put out bearing in mind that we have to win this game as well. Some managers – Rafa Benitez springs to mind – lose many games because they’re worrying about the next one rather than the one in front of them. As it happens, Radhi Jaidi is predictably left on the bench with Dan Seaborne keeping his place, Adam Lallana is rested with Papa Waigo given a start and Dan Harding continues at right back. Worryingly, we line up in a 4-3-1-2 formation with Papa ‘in the hole’ as Tiger Woods would say.
Saints usual fast start was stolen by Hartlepool who pinned us back, finding masses of space down the wings where we had no one. We persevered with being very very poor and continued with the tactic of doing nothing except live dangerously. This lasted until the 15th minute when Hartlepool took a deserved lead when Bob Monkhouse scored from close range.
Pards and Dean Wilkins were in technical area meltdown and following some frantic waving and pointing, they finally managed to wave and point in a language Papa Waigo could understand and Papa was pulled to the right wing. Punch went out to the left and we went to a traditional 4-4-2 and lo and behold, a Waigo cross and a header from Puncheon was kept out by a combination of bar and goalkeeper before sitting up for Lee Barnard to nod into an empty net. Miraculously it wasn’t ruled out for offside and so we were level.
Now playing in a formation that the players understood, we pressed forward and the next twenty minutes was all Saints with Flinders in the Monkey Hangers goal being called on to keep Hatlepool in it. He was helpless on 35 minutes though when a Puncheon cross came in. The centre back had a decision to make and he either had to head it, control it or hoof it. Fail. He decided to take the option of leaving it and giving a striker who has already scored 30 goals this season, a free shot from 12 yards. Bang, 2-1, Sir Rickie does not miss those.
Following the 2nd goal, Hartlepool came back into it again and were unlucky not to be awarded a penalty as Fonte and Seaborne both had a good go at giving one away with shirt holding and handball respectively. The name ‘Richey Humphreys’ came over the radio waves. I remember when he played for Sheffield Wednesday about 15 years ago and he was a fat bastard then. I expect he’s slimmed down a lot by now.
Half time and 2-1. I’m reliably informed by my Dad that that the bloke I had a go at last week was not present today but the guy who makes animal noises through a rolled up programme was there, trying to make puns out of Jason Puncheon’s name about a hundred times. Not funny the first time and unsurprisingly, not funny the hundredth time either. If he is sat near me at Wembley….
The opening ten minutes of the second half is quite even but following a bit of Hartlepool pressure, Puncheon broke away and ran at the defence. He eventually got into a scoring position, only to have his effort cleared off the line before another piece of joke defending when a defender tried to head it back to the keeper who was on his backside at the time. Papa Waigo nipped in scored to make it 3-1.
When you listen to the radio you accept that the commentators are going to miss some stuff, particularly the commentators on Solent but it plumbed new depths when, during the eulogising over the goal, we (the listening public) were informed that Paul Wotton had come on for Schneiderlin, ten minutes previously at half time.
The thought that the game would now be a formality lasted all of a minute until the ball broke to Hartlepool full-back Austin who smashed a brilliant shot in from 25 yards which Kelvin didn’t get anywhere near. Usually you can point the finger and pull out the ‘a team is never more vulnerable than when it has just scored’ cliché. However, this is just a brilliant strike, end of story. So, 3-2 and we still have half an hour to go.
It’s another 15 minutes before Saints manage another shot with Sir Rickie firing one in from 35 yards and forcing a good save from Flinders. The rest of the time is spent chasing Hartlepool around in midfield where we have totally lost the grip. It’s interesting that you would expect Wotton coming on for Morgan to close the game down but the opposite happened because we didn’t retain possession. Morgan is clearly missed and it shows that he’s improving, especially with his tackling and awareness of the defensive side of the game in particular.
Connolly comes on for Sir Rickie and the pattern of play remains mostly the same with Saints mounting the odd break in between giving the ball away lots and inviting Hartlepool onto us. It sounds like Fonte is a one man defensive unit at times with the term ‘Fonte heads it away’ being used repeatedly. Big Dave Merrington only gets animated when Mills is the subject of a very poor tackle and the referee (Andy D’Urso – another Prem ref) does absolutely nothing about it. It’s all Hartlepool and in the last minute they get the obligatory free kick from the edge of the box which gets all fans on the edge of seats and saying prayers. Austin is obviously put off by me shouting ‘fuck off’ at the computer and shoots wide.
The added three minutes produce nothing of note and the final whistle goes to signal an amazing thing – Lee Barnard completes 90 minutes for Saints. The game had finished and we had won, which is all that matters. Yes, we only really played for about 30 minutes of the 90 and yes, Hartlepool maybe deserved a draw as they had a good go considering where they are in the league but as you know, you don’t always get what you deserve in football. For example, do Pompey deserve to be in the FA Cup Semi-Final bearing in mind they’ve cheated? No they don’t. That said, I hope Hartlepool stay up as they won’t be able to afford Richey Humphreys Big Burger Boy Bonus if they go down. Three points for SFC and the gap to the playoffs is now 11 points but nothing changes in reality as we still have to win every game.
Pards post-match interview was class. I particularly like the fact that he admits that he messed up with the formation at the start of the game and he also gave very good insight into why younger players would find it hard not to be thinking of the Wembley date on Sunday. I’ve said this before but I never read a Pards interview and think he’s hiding something or talking rubbish. I must hook out some Burley and Poortvliet interviews for a comparison.
Next up is the JPT Final versus Carlisle at Wembley, in case you didn’t know. I repeat the message to remember that the clocks go forward an hour on Sunday night. Bring it on.
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