League 1 Match 32 - Southampton 5 Huddersfield 0

Police appeal for any witnesses of Trotman whereabouts...

A vital game on a Tuesday night against Huddersfield Town who are in the position we want to be – 6 th in the League in the final playoff position. We can only dream of their points tally at present as they have 17 more than us but … we do have two games in hand. So, with some Peter Storrie maths, if we win tonight and also the two games in hand, we will be thirty eight million points ahead of them. In the third game of the season, Huddersfield beat the shit out of us and won 3-1 when it could have been about 7. Things are a wee bit different now but Huddersfield are still going to be a difficult team to beat, being as they are, unbeaten in 11. They are managed by Lee Clark who was a decent midfield player for Newcastle and Sunderland but I can only remember that picture of him with Newcastle fans, wearing a ‘Thick Mackem bastards’ t-shirt when he was a Sunderland player. Bet that went down well.

The team news was as I hoped with no changes from the weekend and there had been no change of manager - surprise, surprise. Pards removal of Radhi Jaidi with 20 minutes to go had obviously given his old bones enough recovery time to play tonight. Maybe the same will happen again as we have two centre backs on the bench in Thomas and Seaborne alongside the shirt printers nightmare, 16 year old Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, an attacking midfielder and son of former England winger Mark Chamberlain – stolen off of the Skates when they were cost cutting. In the Huddersfield side is Saints Legend (of sorts) and hero of this blog, Neal Trotman who will hopefully have one of his 50p head games where it always goes sideways or straight up in the air.

As regular readers may remember, I was supposed to be unemployed at this point and not working in Dublin any more. However, they realised that they couldn’t do without me and I managed to sponge another month out of it. It’s a bit like being on death row but as a consequence, I was missing tonights game and in the Internet Café listening to the Kris and Dave Show via the Saints Player Silence and Interference Service.

The first chance arrives within the first five minutes as Saints build up the right and Otsemobor’s cross is met by Hammond who headed narrowly wide. It didn’t take long before the Huddersfield defence cracked as Jason Puncheon tricked his way down the right wing before sending over a cross that Sir Rickie met (having leapt like a large Scouse salmon) and headed in off the bar. Where was Trotters? 1-0

Saints were threatening to overrun Huddersfield who despite sporadic forays into our half and the menace of the girly named Jordan Rhodes, weren’t really at the races. Ten minutes later it was 2-0 as Hammond managed to dig out a cross from the right wing and this time it was Lee Barnard’s turn to leap and flick a header over Smithies in the Huddersfield goal. Where was Trotters ?

It’s nearly 3-0 on 31 minutes as following a Dan Harding run and pass, Barnard turns and shoots narrowly wide. It’s all fantastic and then I am given a crushing reminder of where I am as Kris Temple treats us to a one man rendition of the ‘Lee Barnard’ crowd chant. I really hope that Dave Merrington beat the living crap out of him afterwards for that one as it was one of those 'pull the plug out' moments.

There was a long boring period of the game for 90 seconds before Sir Rickie nods a ball down to Puncheon who decides to replay his goal from Saturday as he cuts inside onto his left foot and curls a shot in off the far post for 3-0. Another brilliant goal and where was Trotters? He obviously didn’t watch the video of our game v Walsall.

More, more, more and Sir Rickie lines up a free kick from half way up The Avenue and smashes it goalwards, forcing Smithies into a very sharp save. There is no time for much else before half time unless you count a weak header from Rhodes or another move from Saints which ends in Lallana stabbing wide after great work from Lambert and Barnard.

Half time and it’s only 3-0, Pardew out FFS!

The first twenty minutes of the second half, were untypical of the game as a whole because we didn’t score. We did have the ball in the net however as Hammond headed across goal and it somehow went in via a deflection or three but it was disallowed out of sympathy. Speculation was mounting that it would be the day that Schneiderlin got his first goal for Saints and the moment nearly arrived on 63 minutes but Smithies was right behind his effort.

Huddersfield’s dismal evening was made apparent by the fact that they made their third and final substitution straight afterwards and ten minutes later their day went from bad to very bad as Hammond got his head to a corner at the near post and made it 4-0. Let me see… that’s three goals from headers and where was Trotters? The Moron show on Solent is waxing lyrical about Jose Fonte and it really is easy to understand why as he’s different class to any other defender on the pitch. Consider that we all thought Trotman was half decent when he played for us and then compare to Fonte, who was his replacement.

Into the home straight and Papa Waigo and Danny Seaborne come on for Barnard and Jaidi and Ole, Ole, Ole football has broken out on the pitch as Saints play keep ball and generally take the piss. Anyone remember the keep ball in the Branfoot era?… centre back passes to left back and then Franny wafted it off the pitch. Genius. We want five, we want five and we get five as Waigo collects a lovely ball from Sir Rickie, hangs around a bit until defenders close him down, beats them, beats the keeper, pirouettes and then scores. Where was Trotters?

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain was given five minutes in place of Sir Rickie at the end and managed to find time to clatter someone and then fire a decent chance over the bar after being teed up by Lallana who then starred in the final move of the match as Saints brilliantly passed their way all the way up the pitch before Lallana and Puncheon got in each others way, forcing Puncheon to fire over. Full time, 5-0.

Having not been at the match, all I can do by way of a summary is relay what my I’ve been told by people who went. They picked out Puncheon and Barnard as the best of a very good bunch but also thought that the game was won in central midfield by Hammond and Schneiderlin which personally, is what I’m most pleased about. We stuck five past Walsall at the weekend but they were abysmal. We stuck five past Huddersfield today and they are a good side who have already beaten us once and have been on a very good run of form.

So, Pardew out anyone? Didn’t think so. Consecutive home wins, scored 10, conceded 1. The gap to 6th place is now 14 points and we have two games in hand. Difficult but possible I’d have said especially with 9 of our remaining 15 games being at home. If teams were not looking at Saints as a threat before then I would think they are now, especially if they are about to play us at SMS where Leeds (currently 2nd) and Swindon (5th) are our next visitors. Next up though is one of those kind of games where we’ve fallen down recently, Tranmere away. They are in the relegation places and they were completely abysmal at SMS so we really should win that one. I would think they will be a wee bit worried.

Brilliant few days, Come on you Reds!!!