"Goodnight La La"
In 'Bedtime Story', we were introduced to the following characters:
The Man Without Pot – Kidney stoned man with no money but a lot of bullshit
Pretend Previous Owner – Public Face of Previous Ownership
Real Previous Owner - As stated
Conspiring Employee – Jackanory Story Teller
Bedtime Story finished with another new owner on the horizon….
…and lo and behold, into view came a Mirage, not your normal mirage with a palm tree and some water and Melanie Sykes dispensing Boddingtons out of an ice cream van, but a Money Mirage. The Money Mirage was the brainchild of the Conspiring Employee who had promised that along with the Money Mirage would come a rise to a level you wouldn’t believe. This at the time was seen to be a positive thing. The Man Without Pot sold 90% of what he hadn’t paid for to the Money Mirage who paid for the 90% with a fifteen million doubloon loan from Loan Shark 1, secured against the Falling Down Park where La La Land played games. By remarkable coincidence, Loan Shark 1 had recently sued the Real Previous Owner for monies owed for some other reason.
The Money Mirage soon had a problem when it emerged that the employees of La La Land, including the Conspiring One, needed paying and this payment was required a week after a religious holiday which made it completely impossible without a trip to Loan Shark 2. Another two million doubloons was borrowed, secured against the Falling Down Park where La La Land played games. The Money Mirage then realised that he had accidentally stepped within his thousand mile exclusion zone from La La Land and moved back a few yards for fear of being contaminated.
The loan sharkery in general was beginning to raise doubts in the mind of the few supporters of La La land but they were distracted when surprisingly, the results at Falling Down Park improved when they got a draw. Despite this improvement, the Manager of Games in La La Land was sacked but no one really knows who by. The sacked man broke into a smile for the first time in years, having previously worn the look of a man who had gone home to see that his house had burnt down. The Money Mirage said nothing and the Man Without Pot said he disagreed with the decision.
The Man Without Pot – Kidney stoned man with no money but a lot of bullshit
Pretend Previous Owner – Public Face of Previous Ownership
Real Previous Owner - As stated
Conspiring Employee – Jackanory Story Teller
Bedtime Story finished with another new owner on the horizon….
…and lo and behold, into view came a Mirage, not your normal mirage with a palm tree and some water and Melanie Sykes dispensing Boddingtons out of an ice cream van, but a Money Mirage. The Money Mirage was the brainchild of the Conspiring Employee who had promised that along with the Money Mirage would come a rise to a level you wouldn’t believe. This at the time was seen to be a positive thing. The Man Without Pot sold 90% of what he hadn’t paid for to the Money Mirage who paid for the 90% with a fifteen million doubloon loan from Loan Shark 1, secured against the Falling Down Park where La La Land played games. By remarkable coincidence, Loan Shark 1 had recently sued the Real Previous Owner for monies owed for some other reason.
The Money Mirage soon had a problem when it emerged that the employees of La La Land, including the Conspiring One, needed paying and this payment was required a week after a religious holiday which made it completely impossible without a trip to Loan Shark 2. Another two million doubloons was borrowed, secured against the Falling Down Park where La La Land played games. The Money Mirage then realised that he had accidentally stepped within his thousand mile exclusion zone from La La Land and moved back a few yards for fear of being contaminated.
The loan sharkery in general was beginning to raise doubts in the mind of the few supporters of La La land but they were distracted when surprisingly, the results at Falling Down Park improved when they got a draw. Despite this improvement, the Manager of Games in La La Land was sacked but no one really knows who by. The sacked man broke into a smile for the first time in years, having previously worn the look of a man who had gone home to see that his house had burnt down. The Money Mirage said nothing and the Man Without Pot said he disagreed with the decision.
The Conspiring Employee had been moved out of the loop and went job, sorry Investment hunting in Australia. This may have had something to do with the Lords of the Land charging him, the man known as Satchel Face and the man who was the Real Previous Owner Once Removed with Tax Evasion. The only connection between these three potential tax evaders was that they all worked for La La Land in the past which is just one massive coincidence. In the Conspiring Employees stead, to advise on the financial runnings of La La Land, came Convicted Fraudster who had prior knowledge of finance and how to generate some when all normal avenues have been exhausted. With Conspiring Employee out of the picture and Convicted Fraudster operating in a silent way, I have assumed that La La Land was now run by Faceless Kings.
Out of cold storage came Baron Greenback who was decamped in Germany awaiting a work permit to take up his role as Director of Games. He arrived at the club as the new Manager of Games, just as his work permit to be Director of Games came through so he had to manage without really being a manager. The Conspiring Employee said this was just an ‘Administrative issue’ and more of those later.
A pesky minor second administrative issue occurred when the Her Majesty’s Revenue Commission decided that her Majesty needed a new hat and as a result, a substantial amount of money that was owed, should be paid to Her Majesty pretty damn pronto. How could this be? They had never asked for it before and the Faceless Kings of La La Land were shocked and the Faceless Kings of La La Land were surprised no less. ‘It’s a mistake’ they cried. With that, everyone piled in with a Frenchman making a perfectly unreasonable request to have the money for something he had sold to La La Land six months ago. The Frenchman pointed to a clause in a contract that said ’11 games then pay’ but the Faceless Kings countered that it didn’t really mean 11 when we agreed it. The impudence of the French is quite staggering sometimes.
It was the season of goodwill and in La La Land, the employees needed paying again, not just the highly paid Conspiring Employee and the highly paid Playing Employees but the lowly paid as well who probably needed the money to put Christmas together for their families. Lo, the Money Mirage stepped in and everyone was saved only for the file not to be loaded properly at the bank. Oh damn you adminstative issue !!! how could you be so cruel, at Christmas as well. The Conspiring Employee, who obviously didn’t find a job or investment in Australia, revealed his best guess which was that they would get a short term loan for another couple of million doubloons from Loan Shark 1, 2 or 3 to 50 inclusive. This new loan was of course to make up for that pesky file not being loaded properly at the bank. The delay in acquiring this small loan was because they were working on acquiring a much much bigger and better loan, presumably one you don’t have to pay back.
The order as given by someone Faceless to sell anything that wasn’t nailed down but unfortunately, all the nails could have been sold in the summer because there was nothing of any value left. Greenback meanwhile, stated that he needed to spend more money on more Playing Employees.
Out of the woodwork came Pretend Previous Owner who was on a mission to recover the pocket money he had been given by the Real Previous Owner. His charm offensive included pondering who the real owner of La La Land was which is highly ironic when you think about it. Maybe he should ask the Real Previous Owner who he sold it to, just a thought.... His pondering was an attempt to work out who he would send the bill to for the 25 million doubloons he was owed. The hand of the Pretend Pervious Owner had been forced by a decree from the Keepers of the League that they would withhold the money from the Sky that was due to go to the La La Land coffers and use it to pay off other creditors, creditors who were under their jurisdiction. The trouble was that if those creditors are not satisfied first, then the Keepers of the League decree that la La Land would be persona non-grata and they would take their ball away and leave them with no one to play with. The Pretend Previous owner had previously thought the money from the Sky was his for the taking for settlement of his pocket money bill.
Out of cold storage came Baron Greenback who was decamped in Germany awaiting a work permit to take up his role as Director of Games. He arrived at the club as the new Manager of Games, just as his work permit to be Director of Games came through so he had to manage without really being a manager. The Conspiring Employee said this was just an ‘Administrative issue’ and more of those later.
A pesky minor second administrative issue occurred when the Her Majesty’s Revenue Commission decided that her Majesty needed a new hat and as a result, a substantial amount of money that was owed, should be paid to Her Majesty pretty damn pronto. How could this be? They had never asked for it before and the Faceless Kings of La La Land were shocked and the Faceless Kings of La La Land were surprised no less. ‘It’s a mistake’ they cried. With that, everyone piled in with a Frenchman making a perfectly unreasonable request to have the money for something he had sold to La La Land six months ago. The Frenchman pointed to a clause in a contract that said ’11 games then pay’ but the Faceless Kings countered that it didn’t really mean 11 when we agreed it. The impudence of the French is quite staggering sometimes.
It was the season of goodwill and in La La Land, the employees needed paying again, not just the highly paid Conspiring Employee and the highly paid Playing Employees but the lowly paid as well who probably needed the money to put Christmas together for their families. Lo, the Money Mirage stepped in and everyone was saved only for the file not to be loaded properly at the bank. Oh damn you adminstative issue !!! how could you be so cruel, at Christmas as well. The Conspiring Employee, who obviously didn’t find a job or investment in Australia, revealed his best guess which was that they would get a short term loan for another couple of million doubloons from Loan Shark 1, 2 or 3 to 50 inclusive. This new loan was of course to make up for that pesky file not being loaded properly at the bank. The delay in acquiring this small loan was because they were working on acquiring a much much bigger and better loan, presumably one you don’t have to pay back.
The order as given by someone Faceless to sell anything that wasn’t nailed down but unfortunately, all the nails could have been sold in the summer because there was nothing of any value left. Greenback meanwhile, stated that he needed to spend more money on more Playing Employees.
Out of the woodwork came Pretend Previous Owner who was on a mission to recover the pocket money he had been given by the Real Previous Owner. His charm offensive included pondering who the real owner of La La Land was which is highly ironic when you think about it. Maybe he should ask the Real Previous Owner who he sold it to, just a thought.... His pondering was an attempt to work out who he would send the bill to for the 25 million doubloons he was owed. The hand of the Pretend Pervious Owner had been forced by a decree from the Keepers of the League that they would withhold the money from the Sky that was due to go to the La La Land coffers and use it to pay off other creditors, creditors who were under their jurisdiction. The trouble was that if those creditors are not satisfied first, then the Keepers of the League decree that la La Land would be persona non-grata and they would take their ball away and leave them with no one to play with. The Pretend Previous owner had previously thought the money from the Sky was his for the taking for settlement of his pocket money bill.
Whilst appearing to be doing the right thing regarding the money from the Sky, let us not forget that the Keepers of the League had sanctioned both the Man Without Pot and the Money Mirage as Fit and propers persons to run La La Land. They are also concerned with the potential damage to their 'brand' and for that they should burn in hell.
The Fans of La La Land finally awoke and protested when all thirty of them shouted ‘Ug’ and the more literate shouted ‘Ug Ug Ug’ out in the street. A Playing Employee was sent out to talk to the baying gathering but he didn’t speak Ug and so sadly, nothing was achieved.
And until next time, they all lived happily ever after, at a level you wouldn't believe.
THE END (perhaps)
Note from the author: It’s a good job that none of this is true otherwise it would be a bit fucking ridiculous and far fetched wouldn’t it….?
The Fans of La La Land finally awoke and protested when all thirty of them shouted ‘Ug’ and the more literate shouted ‘Ug Ug Ug’ out in the street. A Playing Employee was sent out to talk to the baying gathering but he didn’t speak Ug and so sadly, nothing was achieved.
And until next time, they all lived happily ever after, at a level you wouldn't believe.
THE END (perhaps)
Note from the author: It’s a good job that none of this is true otherwise it would be a bit fucking ridiculous and far fetched wouldn’t it….?
There's career politicians and chopping their salaries in half. A group known as Citizens for a movement to radically change California government, by getting rid of California Reform wants to make the California legislature a part time time job, just like it was until 1966.
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@abass - I think you may have the wrong LaLa land there old son :-) The one to which Glen would be refering to (alegedly) if it were in any way a true story is a whole lot more fishy .......er.... I'll get my coat....
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