Gratuitous Funny Picture of Dave Merrington
It seems like an age since we had a game, courtesy of the Huddersfield postponement due to the snow. I personally took the opportunity to have a break and so have not blogged on Saints for a while and quite a bit has happened. The transfer window has opened and three new players have arrived : Jose Fonte, Dan Seabourne and Jon Otsemobor.
Fonte is an amazing signing when you consider he was a regular for Crystal Palace in the Championship. It’s remarkable what a bit of cash in a cash-strapped times can do. The CV (in the form of comments from Palace fans) seems very good and he’s the right age at 26. He of course had come into the squad in place of the departing Trotters and while I’m sure he’ll be a more than adequate replacement on the pitch, he will not provide us with nearly the same comedy value.
Dan Seabourne was next and his signing illustrated to me how different it is being in League 1 and me personally being older. I remember the days when I knew every player in our division… you had Match of the Day, Panini stickers, Shoot Magazine etc etc…. now, with a couple of exceptions, I have no idea who the opposition players are, even if we played against them a few weeks back. Seabourne played against us and we won 3-1 and I can honestly say I don’t remember whether he had a brilliant game or a shocker. When we signed him, Pards said he had a good game against us so it would have been interesting if he’d scored an own goal and been sent off or something.
Jon Otsemobor is the answer the quiz question… Which Liverpool player got shot in the ass in 2003 ? Most people think it was Robbie Fowler by Graeme le Saux but I digress… Semi, or Semaphore is a right back and I did notice him playing against us for Norwich in the league at SMS when he came on as a sub. When he came on I remember telling someone that this was the guy who got shot in the ass. He’s very quick but apparently prone to dozing off. I assume he was the player that Pards was after who ‘was not doing to well at his present club’. I was hoping for Robinho myself…
We have also had the story of Elliott Ward nearly signing from Coventry and then us pulling out when we signed Seabourne. This seemed to upset well known whiny bastard Chris Coleman, so for that reason alone was completely worth it.
So, two centre backs and a right back signed which replaced Trotters, covered Murty and his injuries and got Lloyd James away from right back. I think the signing of an extra centre back also tells you that Thomas and Perry will both be on their way at the end of the season, if not before. Before the window closes I believe we need a new midfielder and a new striker to cover for Lambert cos if he gets injured, we are in the brown stuff. The season Part 2 starts at Millwall.
It was a minor shock to discover that all three of the new defenders were in the starting XI and I was totally flabbergasted to see Lee Holmes in the side as I would have expected Nick Holmes to be higher in the pecking order. In truth, Holmes would have been one of the first out the door if I was in charge as he’s always injured and when he’s not, he floats like a butterfly and stings like one. He was in on the left of midfield because Lallana had been pushed up front to partner Lambert with Connolly only fit for the bench. James was on the right of midfield with Hammand and Schneiderlin in the centre. The three new lads were in defence along with Harding with Davis in goal in place of the unfortunate Bart who had brought down the goals per game conceded average and not been responsible for any goal conceded. Tough call but that’s what a manager gets paid for I guess.
The first notable action of the came after a nice break by Lallana was abruptly and cynically ended by the Millwall skipper who escaped a booking because the referee was somewhere else at the time. Merrington was on fire on Solent with an assertion that it would have been a card in the Premier League which is probably true but it is also completely irrelevant. From the resulting free-kick, Lambo managed for once to miss the target.
The next notable action was on the half hour as Davis pulled off a fine double save to deny Millwall the lead. Each save was one finger each up to those, including me, who said that Bart should have been in goal. You can usually say with double saves that you only had to make the second one because you should have done better with the first but this was a genuine one – two very good saves.
To the collective groan of a vast majority of Saints fans, Hammond could no longer continue after picking up an achilles injury and was replaced on 36 minutes with Paul Wotton who brought agricultural grunt to the proceedings. It appeared at this stage that some was needed as Millwall were certainly mixing it but if you had the choice, the lightweight Schneiderlin would have been the one sacrificed. Half Time 0-0
Saints were asleep at the start of the second half and a Millwall forward found himself one on one with Davis in the opening minute of the 2nd half. Faced with the Shilton-esque intimidating bulk of the Saints stopper coming towards him, he shat himself and put it wide. Our two new central defenders seemed to be acquitting themselves well and in an act of symmetry, both managed to get acquainted with the referee in picking up a yellow each.
Still 0-0 and Pards tried to go for the win by introducing Antonio for James on the right. He immediately scared the hell out of them with a run and cross dowm the right, followed by a barnstorming run down the middle which ended with him shooting wide. By this time he’d been pushed up front alongside Lambo with Lallana coming to the right hand side. Antonio is clearly better as a sub and I suspect he’ll remain in that role for much of the rest of the season. Time for another attacking sub by Pards with Waigo coming on for Lallana but 90 minutes were up and I suspected that that was that. 0-0 away with three new defenders… not bad I thought.
I was out and about in the car at this point and managed to blag a bit of Radio Solent commentary but it was impossible to hear properly over whining daughters who were complaining that they had to listen to blokes talking about football rather than listening to a CD. There are times when I would rather listen to a High School Musical CD than listen to Dave Merrington but this wasn’t one of them. we got home and 90 minutes were up and I’d decided that no one would score so I switched off and went inside. Two minutes later I was on the internet and “LAMBERT 90+2” was staring me in the face….. Beauty !!!!!!.
Full Time – Millwall 1 Southampton 1… what the fuck ?
Then two texts on the phone… Lambert 90 followed by Trotter 90. Multiple swear words. I genuinely believed that the 1-1 result given out was a typo. How could I be so stupid.. this is Saints after all. Even though he’s now gone, the ghost of Neal Trotman haunts the Saints with a goal by Trotter. Bugger it.
If you want calm reflection and keeping things in context then don’t read a Saints message board after a defeat… oh, hang on, we drew away from home to a decent side. The Samaritans should monitor those boards for people who should be on suicide watch. Facts are that we ended up with a result that we would have taken before the game and we lost our captain who is one of our most influential players in the first half. If it had ended 0-0 then no one would have been on suicide watch and we would have moved on and most people would have been praising up the new defenders for a clean sheet and how brave Pards was to put them all in straight away. Because we happened to score with a deflection and then let one in, it’s suicide time. I am not for one second saying that it’s not bloody annoying that we dozed off and conceded late…
Next up, it’s JPT Southern Final against the Fake Dons away at their World Cup Stadium on Wednesday. I will be in the Horseshow House in Ballsbridge, Dublin if anyone fancies it…
Fonte is an amazing signing when you consider he was a regular for Crystal Palace in the Championship. It’s remarkable what a bit of cash in a cash-strapped times can do. The CV (in the form of comments from Palace fans) seems very good and he’s the right age at 26. He of course had come into the squad in place of the departing Trotters and while I’m sure he’ll be a more than adequate replacement on the pitch, he will not provide us with nearly the same comedy value.
Dan Seabourne was next and his signing illustrated to me how different it is being in League 1 and me personally being older. I remember the days when I knew every player in our division… you had Match of the Day, Panini stickers, Shoot Magazine etc etc…. now, with a couple of exceptions, I have no idea who the opposition players are, even if we played against them a few weeks back. Seabourne played against us and we won 3-1 and I can honestly say I don’t remember whether he had a brilliant game or a shocker. When we signed him, Pards said he had a good game against us so it would have been interesting if he’d scored an own goal and been sent off or something.
Jon Otsemobor is the answer the quiz question… Which Liverpool player got shot in the ass in 2003 ? Most people think it was Robbie Fowler by Graeme le Saux but I digress… Semi, or Semaphore is a right back and I did notice him playing against us for Norwich in the league at SMS when he came on as a sub. When he came on I remember telling someone that this was the guy who got shot in the ass. He’s very quick but apparently prone to dozing off. I assume he was the player that Pards was after who ‘was not doing to well at his present club’. I was hoping for Robinho myself…
We have also had the story of Elliott Ward nearly signing from Coventry and then us pulling out when we signed Seabourne. This seemed to upset well known whiny bastard Chris Coleman, so for that reason alone was completely worth it.
So, two centre backs and a right back signed which replaced Trotters, covered Murty and his injuries and got Lloyd James away from right back. I think the signing of an extra centre back also tells you that Thomas and Perry will both be on their way at the end of the season, if not before. Before the window closes I believe we need a new midfielder and a new striker to cover for Lambert cos if he gets injured, we are in the brown stuff. The season Part 2 starts at Millwall.
It was a minor shock to discover that all three of the new defenders were in the starting XI and I was totally flabbergasted to see Lee Holmes in the side as I would have expected Nick Holmes to be higher in the pecking order. In truth, Holmes would have been one of the first out the door if I was in charge as he’s always injured and when he’s not, he floats like a butterfly and stings like one. He was in on the left of midfield because Lallana had been pushed up front to partner Lambert with Connolly only fit for the bench. James was on the right of midfield with Hammand and Schneiderlin in the centre. The three new lads were in defence along with Harding with Davis in goal in place of the unfortunate Bart who had brought down the goals per game conceded average and not been responsible for any goal conceded. Tough call but that’s what a manager gets paid for I guess.
The first notable action of the came after a nice break by Lallana was abruptly and cynically ended by the Millwall skipper who escaped a booking because the referee was somewhere else at the time. Merrington was on fire on Solent with an assertion that it would have been a card in the Premier League which is probably true but it is also completely irrelevant. From the resulting free-kick, Lambo managed for once to miss the target.
The next notable action was on the half hour as Davis pulled off a fine double save to deny Millwall the lead. Each save was one finger each up to those, including me, who said that Bart should have been in goal. You can usually say with double saves that you only had to make the second one because you should have done better with the first but this was a genuine one – two very good saves.
To the collective groan of a vast majority of Saints fans, Hammond could no longer continue after picking up an achilles injury and was replaced on 36 minutes with Paul Wotton who brought agricultural grunt to the proceedings. It appeared at this stage that some was needed as Millwall were certainly mixing it but if you had the choice, the lightweight Schneiderlin would have been the one sacrificed. Half Time 0-0
Saints were asleep at the start of the second half and a Millwall forward found himself one on one with Davis in the opening minute of the 2nd half. Faced with the Shilton-esque intimidating bulk of the Saints stopper coming towards him, he shat himself and put it wide. Our two new central defenders seemed to be acquitting themselves well and in an act of symmetry, both managed to get acquainted with the referee in picking up a yellow each.
Still 0-0 and Pards tried to go for the win by introducing Antonio for James on the right. He immediately scared the hell out of them with a run and cross dowm the right, followed by a barnstorming run down the middle which ended with him shooting wide. By this time he’d been pushed up front alongside Lambo with Lallana coming to the right hand side. Antonio is clearly better as a sub and I suspect he’ll remain in that role for much of the rest of the season. Time for another attacking sub by Pards with Waigo coming on for Lallana but 90 minutes were up and I suspected that that was that. 0-0 away with three new defenders… not bad I thought.
I was out and about in the car at this point and managed to blag a bit of Radio Solent commentary but it was impossible to hear properly over whining daughters who were complaining that they had to listen to blokes talking about football rather than listening to a CD. There are times when I would rather listen to a High School Musical CD than listen to Dave Merrington but this wasn’t one of them. we got home and 90 minutes were up and I’d decided that no one would score so I switched off and went inside. Two minutes later I was on the internet and “LAMBERT 90+2” was staring me in the face….. Beauty !!!!!!.
Full Time – Millwall 1 Southampton 1… what the fuck ?
Then two texts on the phone… Lambert 90 followed by Trotter 90. Multiple swear words. I genuinely believed that the 1-1 result given out was a typo. How could I be so stupid.. this is Saints after all. Even though he’s now gone, the ghost of Neal Trotman haunts the Saints with a goal by Trotter. Bugger it.
If you want calm reflection and keeping things in context then don’t read a Saints message board after a defeat… oh, hang on, we drew away from home to a decent side. The Samaritans should monitor those boards for people who should be on suicide watch. Facts are that we ended up with a result that we would have taken before the game and we lost our captain who is one of our most influential players in the first half. If it had ended 0-0 then no one would have been on suicide watch and we would have moved on and most people would have been praising up the new defenders for a clean sheet and how brave Pards was to put them all in straight away. Because we happened to score with a deflection and then let one in, it’s suicide time. I am not for one second saying that it’s not bloody annoying that we dozed off and conceded late…
Next up, it’s JPT Southern Final against the Fake Dons away at their World Cup Stadium on Wednesday. I will be in the Horseshow House in Ballsbridge, Dublin if anyone fancies it…
Thank you for posting the first (!!!) match report I've encountered not written by a suicidal hothead focussing more on whether AP can continue as our manager than on the game itself...
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