Premier League Match 16 - Southampton 0 Tottenham Hotspur 5

 

It Was a Good Opening 15 Seconds

Today sees a clash between two teams with managers under varying degrees of added pressure. The funny thing is that the team who are 11th in the table, Spurs, are probably much more likely to sack their manager if they lose this game than the team that is flat last. I guess that it’s a question of expectations.

Ange Postecoglou is in his second season as Tottenham manager and the expectations for him would’ve been to qualify for the Champions League for next season, meaning they have to finish in the top four at present they are seven places below that in eleventh place. Saints expectation this season is to finish 17th and we are currently 20th so you could argue that they need the points more than we do to try and make up the gap. However, look a little bit closer and you will see a team on five points who desperately need to win this game.

The fact is that we have a chance today because Spurs are, well Spurs and also because they are dealing with having several injuries to keep players. The regular centre back pairing of Romero and van de Ven are both missing as well as their regular first choice goalkeeper Vicario. The goalkeeper missing is of particular interest because currently in goal for them is Fraser Forster, who was a brilliant goalkeeper for us, then not so good, then injured, then he became decent again before we decided that we preferred Alex McCarthy, and Fraser joined Spurs at the start of the 21/22 season, a season in which we of course kept Gavin Bazunu in goal until almost the point where we were mathematically relegated. I’m not saying that we would’ve stayed up if we had kept Fraser, but we certainly would’ve been a lot closer if we kept the experienced players like Fraser and Oriol Romeu. Regardless of history, I hope Fraser gets a decent welcome today.

I can’t help but feel that Spurs injury crisis has been overplayed as they still look very strong on paper. Son Heung Min always scores against us or alternatively, he dives to win a penalty.  Dominic Solanke has been signed from Bournemouth and has done relatively well this season without maybe scoring as many goals as he would’ve liked. The creativity is provided by James Maddison (who always scores against us) and/or Dejan Kulusevski, who are both excellent players.  We do have to concentrate on the weaknesses. A few days ago against Rangers in the Europa league, they had Archie Gray playing at Centre back alongside Dragusin.  Excellent young player though Gray is, he is not a central defender so physicality will definitely be the key against him so whoever is playing upfront for us really needs to put themselves about.

A lot has been said about Spurs style, in exactly the same way that a lot has been said about our own style. One similarity that I see is a lack of willingness from both managers to change much in game. There’s a plan at the start of the game and that is it and it never changes with the game situation regardless of whether you are up in the game or down in it. Last week Spurs attacked really well at the start of the game against Chelsea and went 2-0 up but by half time they were losing 3-2 because they didn’t adapt at all.  Saints have done this on several occasions ourselves this season, the most obvious being away at Spurs nearest and dearest neighbours Arsenal where we went up and instead of spending ten minutes taking no chances, we gave the ball away three minutes later in our own half and two passes later it was in our goal.  We also refuse to change when we go behind – just knocking the ball about with no urgency and often having no shots on target.

Postecoglou seems like a genuinely decent guy but he will inevitably become the latest victim of Daniel Levy at some point in the not too distant future.  Levy seems to think that it’s solely the managers responsibility to make some sort of masterpiece out of less ingredients than all the other teams at the top. It will not be at all surprising if getting beaten by Southampton is as usual, seen as the ultimate barometer of failure and he gets sacked if they get beaten today.  Remember Glenn Hoddle.  However, it’s much more likely that they win this one and Ange will be fine.

Saints availability list is looking a little bit stronger this week with the expected returns of Bednarek and Tall Paul. The goalkeeper selection will be interesting this week because apparently Alex McCarthy is fully fit.  Be it Lumley or McCarthy, it will hopefully only be a one-week assignment with Ramsdale being close to fitness again.

Russell Martin had to defend himself this week in a press conference, in particular about his lead footed comments made after the Aston Villa game. He gets quite prickly when he has to face awkward questions though he usually answers them pretty well and is good at coming up with mitigating circumstances, or as some people would call it – blaming someone else.  He again sailed a little bit close to the wind,  implying that people outside of the dressing room don’t really understand and whilst that may be a fair point, people outside the dressing room have the facts on their side which are, five points from fifteen matches and ten goals conceited from mistakes in our own half.  No one has to do much, to present a counter argument to anything Russell Martin is saying. All you need to do is cut a league table out of a newspaper and put it on the desk in front of him.

We haven’t had a game since last Friday so there’s been the best part of nine days to work on this and as the team sheet drops, what do we have? Well, it looks like a back four but fuck me, Kamaldeen Sulemana is playing and it looks like he’s up front with Adam Armstrong. Christ that is shit.  Bednarek is back and Wood is left out meaning that our best from last week has been dropped, which is exactly what happened in the previous game as well.  Spurs have Archie Gray in central defence as predicted and it’s debut for 18-year-old Lukas Bergvall in midfield, so we absolutely have to get at these inexperienced players in those key positions.  Russell says we are all about aggressive intent this week.  Let’s see.

Away we go and fucking hell this looks immediately bad. Spence picks up the ball on the right-hand side and turns away from Downes and just runs directly at the goal into the fucking great big gap in front of our defence. He reaches THB and then slots the ball through and Maddison times his run perfectly and drills it past McCarthy. 34 seconds, 1-0 down, wankers.

Our tactic for the next few minutes is to try and pump the ball over the top of Spence, for Sulemana to run onto and he does pick up the ball a couple of times but it’s all fart and no shit and no ball makes it into the penalty area.  Spurs on the other end are quite happy to put the ball in the box and on 10 minutes, Maddison puts one in there, Bednarek manages to flick it over the top of the covering THB and there is Son at the back post, with no right back in sight, to smash it under McCarthy to make it 2-0. For fucks sake.  We are so slow and nowhere near the pace of the game and it’s absolutely fucking embarrassing. There is a chant of “we want Martin out“ from the Northam End, which is officially the first mass dissent that I’ve heard during a game this season.

Three minutes later and the chant is ringing out again as Son gets down the left, completely unimpeded by KWP, who is busy doing fuck all higher up the pitch. Solanke piles in with Bednarek as the cross comes in and the ball bounces kindly to the alert Kulusevski, who taps it into the net for 3-0 on 14 minutes. What the fuck are we doing?

Nathan Wood is warming up and it’s blatantly obvious that Sulemana is going to be the one who comes off and it’s hard not to feel a little at least a little bit sorry for him as he remonstrates with Matt Gill as he leaves the pitch.  Russell’s nine days of planning to include the winger, being binned after not even a quarter of an hour.

Briefly we show signs of life with Tyler Dibling getting on the ball and beating a couple of players on his own and then puts a perfect cross in with the outside of his left foot and Armstrong meets it and and just heads it straight at where the goalkeeper is standing. It was probably more difficult to do that than it was to actually head it down to try and make him make a save.

We are showing a bit more confidence now, shame we’re already three goals behind and we work the ball to KWP on the right who loses it to Spence. Spence plays it up the line to Son and his pass in the middle finds Sarr, who stumbles his way past a couple of flailing defenders, before poking it past McCarthy for 4-0. 25 minutes gone and full Leicester 9-0 vibes.

It’s nearly five as Maddison (who of course played and scored in that game) puts Son through the middle but this time McCarthy reacts well to tip it over the bar.  We create another chance at the other end as our only two decent outfield players, Dibling and Manning combine and Manning’s low cross into the box is met by Armstrong but of course he puts it wide.

Russell Martin disappears into the bowels of the stadium as we get to the 48th minute to no doubt plan some masterclass for the second half and he probably hears the crowd reaction as Son plays a brilliant ball with the outside of his foot behind the defence with Maddison picking it up on the goal line before allowing Woody to slide past and making himself the slightest of angles before pinging it into the top corner for 5-0. Is the sort of goal that I might have actually applauded if it was down my end of the pitch. 5-0 and fuck off. Gutless fucking wankers.

Honestly Sonny, We Score Against These Every Fucking Time

Saints make no changes at half time but Ange decides to rest Son and brings on Brennan Johnson instead, which is a sure sign that Spurs are going to coast the second half.  The game is done and the second half has a lack of intensity. With Spurs having come down to our intensity level through choice, we create a few half chances with KWP hitting one into the side netting and Dibling smashing one just wide. We even get the ball in the net as Downes crosses and Fernandes scores with a header but was well offside.  Brennan Johnson should make it six for Spurs, but he somehow manages to scoop it up over the bar. I’m not having any of that restored pride shit from the second half because we still basically did fuck all even though Tottenham were playing walking football by this point. Joke.

That word – intensity. Spurs absolutely tore into the game and we sleepwalked into it. They won every tackle, they were quicker, they were more direct, they had more intensity with and without the ball and they have the quality to take advantage of the fact that we were second-best in every single non-negotiable category.  It’s a simple fact that if you have players with less ability than the team that you are up against, you have to outwork them but we just died without trying.  It was, from our point of view, absolutely pathetic and we looked like a collection of players who were not playing for the manager and that I’m afraid that’s virtually always the end of the road.

Russell and Matt Gill Come Up With a Cunning Plan Involving Sulemana

Russell’s tactical cunning plan that Baldrick would have been proud of, lasted all of fourteen minutes as we were three down and so off went Sulemana.  Russ had spent nine days thinking he was going to be the difference maker and that's a problem in itself.  Nine days of planning, out the window after 14 minutes most of the talk afterwards is going to be about the manager of course but fuck me, some of our players. McCarthy actually did okay in goal. He maybe could’ve stopped, the second goal from Son that was drilled underneath him, but otherwise he didn’t have much chance with anything. Ryan Manning was by far our best player and probably the only one who looked like he gave a shit for the entire time that he was on the pitch of and of course he got substituted in the second half.   If Ryan Manning is your best player then you are in trouble.  Tyler Dibling was again left to carry the attack completely on his own, usually with absolutely no support from anybody.

KWP was an absolute fucking disaster. I don’t think he put a tackle in all game because it’s hard to put a tackle in when you are twenty yards from the player you are supposed to be marking.  The space he was allowing Son to have was ridiculous. It was like he was playing as a wingback, when he was in a back four.  You have to defend when you are a full back in a four and he just didn’t. If he thinks he’s going to get a move to a top half Premier League side like Spurs, he is absolutely dreaming with performances like that. When you compare him to the likes of Spence, Udogie and Porro - he was absolutely nowhere near.

Bednarek and THB were all over the fucking place in the first half and didn’t seem to be communicating with each other and allowed ridiculous amount of space for any player who drifted into the area. They weren’t helped by our midfield however with Flynn Downes again being deployed too far forward, being asked to press from the front but also play as a number six which is just not possible.   He ended up drifting too far forward ahead of the ball and so every time Spurs got it he was out of position and no one else was doing the job in front of the defence. We lost virtually every game in the Championship when he wasn’t playing at number six so why Russell Martin thinks he can play further forward in the Premier League, with no nominated number 6 behind him is totally fucking beyond me.  The midfield was not help at all by Joe Aribo because it was just too fast a pace for him to play in.  He barely touched the ball and when he did he invariably got ran off it

Up front, Adam Armstrong was predictably fucking useless. The guy barely moves most of the time. The fact that he has the captains’ armband when he basically spends most of the game standing on the halfway line doing nothing, is absolutely ridiculous. He had a few efforts in the general direction of the goal, putting one header straight at Fraser Forster and putting everything else well off target. He simply isn’t good enough and especially when he’s deployed as a lone striker, which is what he was when we took Sulemana off.  The masterplan at the start of the game was to have him playing as split strikers with Sulemana, which is an attacking plan we’ve tried before this season and we’ve never scored.  Nice one Russell.

Russell Spots a Shit Banner in the Crowd

… and goodbye Russell.  As said, there were the first very obvious chants against Russell Martin today and clearly someone important was listening.  An hour or so later, he was the boss no more as Saints released a very lengthy statement, which had certainly been written in advance,  probably from when the third goal went in, detailing that he was leaving and how hard the decision it had been and going a great length to point out the mitigating circumstances such as the chasm between the Championship and the Premier League.  As goodbye statements go from professional football clubs sacking their manager, it was pretty good.  I got the immediate impression that they clearly didn’t want to do it but the road had clearly run out.  Well at least the Spurs fans chanting 'sacked in the morning' were wrong.

To be honest, it had to happen. Five points from sixteen games and conceding five in consecutive home games. No one survives that. There’s not a team in professional football in any division in any country where the manager survives with that record. No one survives when the players appear to be not playing for the manager either and that first half performance was that in abundance.  No one survives the crowd turning en-masse either.  A number of the players were a disgrace today but they'll live to be crap another day.  They should feel guilty after their efforts today but they won't.  Today was very much a final straw and I'll write about Russell Martin another time.

It’s too late of course and we are going down, but we have the Under 21s manager Simon Rusk in charge for the cup game against Liverpool on Wednesday. I’m sure that the nine months he had in charge of Stockport in the National League or stand him in good stead. Good luck to him. With the collection of players that we have, he is certainly going to need it.

The King is Dead, Long Live the Caretaker King and Up the Fucking Saints.