EFL Championship Match 5 - Sunderland 5 Southampton 0

It was Round About now that Russ realised His Starting 11 was Crap

Even this many years after it was named, I still cringe when I hear the name ‘The Stadium of Light’.  Stealing name of one of Europe’s iconic stadiums will always jar with me a bit. Roker Park just sounded so much better.  We could’ve called Saint Mary’s the Camp Nou or the Bernabeu but thankfully, we called it the Friends Provident Stadium before seeing sense.

Sunderland have generally struggled over the past few years, doing the well trodden trip from the Premier League down to League one and now trying to get back again. Having got out of League one, they had as very good first season in the Championship and sneaked into the final playoff place last season before being knocked out by Luton, who are of course completely drowning in the Premier League right now.

Sunderland have made a solid If unspectacular start this season and have been struggling for goals a bit this year, probably down to their main striker Ross Stewart having been injured. More on him later I suspect.

So, what’s gone on this week? The final week before the end of the transfer window started with a couple of outgoings with Lyanco departing online for a year to some club in Qatar whose name I can’t be bothered to learn.  He was one who always tried his best but there was always one too many calamities just waiting to happen and you knew that he was never going to be able to string together a few games without one happening. Good defending is all about consistency and doing the right things often, and Lyanco was never gonna do that. He was however a completely mad bastard and there were times last season when he seemed incredibly valuable because he at least showed the determination required in a relegation battle that others could’ve learned from.  He’s going out on loan for the season but I suspect he is never to return

I’ve heard it said that all the celebrating tackles and bringing the crowd into play was a little bit of a bluff to distract from the fact that he wasn’t very good and I can’t possibly comment on that. Good luck to him - he tried his best and wanted to be here but he just wasn’t good enough. The bottom line that his signing from Torino was a cheap punt for £6 million quid and for that outlay, he did okay.

Next out the door was Romain Perraud who moved on a season long loan to Nice in France. This one is slightly different because He didn’t really do anything wrong. He has fallen down the pecking order this season with the signing of Ryan Manning and the emergence of Jayden Meghoma means that it’s probably okay to let him go for the season. Again, I wish him well because he always put in 100% effort despite being messed around quite a lot last year by a variety of managers who picked players out of position, rather than play our only senior left back. It was all rather weird. Put all that together and this is probably a move that will benefit all parties.

And so we get to deadline day with a number of issues up in the air.  One was sorted with relative calm early on in the day with Taylor Harwood-Bellis joining from Manchester City on loan. The deal is that we have an obligation to buy at £20 million, if we get promoted. As a player who got promoted with Burnley last season, Harwood-Bellis will most definitely be hoping to do the same again. The most important thing about him is that even at 21, he’s already established leadership credentials by captain in the England under 21 side. I expect him to be a regular in the team sooner rather than later.

We were heavily rumoured to be signing the Sunderland striker Ross Stewart and we were also heavily rumoured to be losing Che Adams to Wolves. As the day went on it became apparent that Che was going to sign a new contract with Saints but move to Wolves on loan for the season which means that we would still get the £15 million quid for him this time next year plus a loan fee for this season.  

As the day went on, Ross Stewart still hadn’t happened and then some news spread by bellend Internet ITK wannabes suggested that the Stewart deal was off which probably came from the very definite news that Saints has decided that the Che deal with Wolves was a load of shit and they pulled the plug on it. At the end of the day, Stewart signed and Che Adams didn’t go anywhere so we now have the striking options sorted, even though Che is understood to be somewhat pissed off with his move to Wolves not happening. Hopefully when everything settles down, he will see it as a blessing in disguise.

Ross Stewart - Before and After the Game

When the transfer window finally closed, everyone realised that no one had bought Kyle Walker-Peters so we have by far the best right back in the Championship and also, no one had come in for Kamaldeen Sulemana , despite his agent desperately pushing out at the last minute that he had a £30 million release clause. No one was ever gonna pay that because Sulemana has not remotely done anything to warrant it. That one will be very interesting as it still wouldn’t surprise me at all if he sits on his hands until January. If he does get his head down and play then he’s the Nathan Tella replacement we needed, until January at least.

The other minor footnote regarding those brought in in the great Rasmus Plays Scattergun Football Manager Bullshit Transfer Window of January 2023, was that Tall Paul didn’t find an escape route, so the poor bugger is stuck with us with no prospect of getting anywhere near the match day squad. With a few countries still having open transfer windows, I hope a solution can be found for the big man.

Overall, on the face of it, I think the transfer window was a success. There was a lot of work needing doing and a decent percentage of it has been done. Some players who didn’t wanna be here have moved on and unfortunately, the real top level talent has inevitably moved on also. We have also got rid of some dead wood.  We have brought players in quite astutely and have two players for every position now so on the face of it, it’s not bad. Financials are boring obviously but we have balanced the books regarding the money wasted last season and mitigated a lot of the loss of income from getting relegated to the Championship.

So with the transfer window done and dusted and the squad all settled, what would Russell Martin’s first team selection be.  Interesting – on the face of it it’s a bit fucking weird with four changes from a winning side.  Out of the team go the injured Jack Stephens along with Charly Alcaraz, Sam Amo-Ameyaw and Shea Charles, the latter of whom has definitely not done anything to warrant getting left out. In came Mason Holgate, Will Smallbone, Flynn Downes and …. FFS Sekou Mara.

It’s the first time I’ve looked at a Russell Martin Championship team selection and wondered what the fuck is going on. Chucking Holgate in for his first game seems like a massive risk and I can’t help but feel that Smallbone would be better off coming off the bench in his first game back from injury. Mara didn’t exactly do much last week when he came on and with the 11 names on the timesheet today, I guess it’s either going to be him or Adam Armstrong playing out wide right.

The referee today is David Coote who like us, was so shit he’s been relegated down into the Championship but unlike us, he’s only there for a week.

Sunderland start the game on the front foot and build at their right and under no pressure, the cross comes in, bending behind our defence and under no pressure, Clarke nips in front of Edozie and has a free header at Baz from about 6 yards. 1-0 - Jesus Christ that’s pathetic.

Plenty of time to sell into the game let the next action is more unopposed Sunderland play down our left with Bellingham being allowed time to set the ball back for a simple pass across the top of the penalty area to Ekwah, who takes a touch and under no pressure drills it across Baz, into the far corner. To be fair to Baz, it was going wide until it flicked off of Flynn Downes but I would ask, what exactly are we trying to fucking achieve here and what do we expect if we just stand off all the time ?

We finally get a bit of possession until Holgate gives the ball away on the halfway line to send Sunderland away on the right. Again there is no pressure on the ball as Ba just advances to the edge of the penalty area before curling a shot just wide of the far post. You just sense that unless we get the next goal, which we don’t remotely look like doing, that this is going to be absolutely horrible because Sunderland are now just sitting in and playing on the break, which is the luxury but the 2-0 head start has given them.

We decided to try and put them under pressure a bit in their own half and our first chance comes because of it with Ekwah presenting the ball straight to Edozie 25 yards out and he barrels towards the edge of the penalty area and slams it just wide.  He really had to hit the target there and it’s a poor effort.  The game should change a bit soon after that as Edozie’s cross from the left is picked up by Manning and Dack runs across the back of him.  Looks like a penalty but not in David Coote’s eyes.

We’re back to our worst soon after though as Clarke is allowed to break through the centre of our midfield with players jogging alongside him before he gets carted over on the edge of the box by Holgate, who to be fair, had to do something. From the free-kick, Bradley Dack hits it and Baz manages to parry it away. Again, there is no reaction from any of our defenders and it takes an air shot from Sunderland forward before we managed to get a boot to it and clear it.

With a couple of minutes to half time, and Holgate on the ball, he gets closed down by a Sunderland striker and passes it 10 yards straight to Ekwah in midfield. Holgate goes charging after the ball and leaves the striker who closed him down but Ekwah however doesn’t need the striker because he jinks past Holgate as if he is not there, advances a few yards and then smashes it low into the bottom corner of the net under the wrist of the diving Baz. 3-0, game completely fucked.

Russell Martin has no choice but to ring the changes at half-time, with the ineffective Stuart Armstrong and Sam Edozie replaced with Ryan Fraser and Che Adams.  To be fair, he could have subbed any of the outfield ten and not many could have complained.  Any thoughts we may have had about any sort of unlikely come back I completely fucked within the first couple of minutes of the second half as a cross comes in from the left, a free header parried out by Baz but when the ball comes back in, Holgate swings at it and misses, and Bradley Dack stabs into the net from 5 yards. Our defending is so shit it is unbelievable. Mason Holgate is showing Alan Bennett levels of debut calamity. He is not alone in the air-shot stakes though with Ryan Manning having also wafted at fresh air when the ball has come back off of Baz in the first place.

Jack Clarke is proving to be a real handful on the left wing for Sunderland but then if you give any player acres of space that they are going to be a problem. Clarke drives straight to the heart of the defence before anyone could get to him and gets about 8 yards out before poking a shot which Baz does really well to get down and save. Our desire to get near them in midfield is non-existent. Downes is trying his best but Smallbone looks like he is running in treacle and is never near any Sunderland player.

Out of nowhere we came closest to scoring as we have done all game as Holgate tries a potshot from 30 yards and the Sunderland goalkeeper Patterson is very fortunate as he makes a complete bollocks of it but it bounces off his knee and goes wide for a corner. In it comes from Manning and Holgate has a free header at the back post but it goes well wide.

It’s more or less Holgate’s last involvement as he is taken off and replaced with a man who should’ve started, Shea Charles, also off is Smallbone who also shouldn’t have started, and he’s replaced with Alcaraz.

There is time for us to immediately add the dog leg offside trap to our list of shit things that we’ve done in defence which gives another clear run at Baz coming in from our left but once again, the goalkeeper is up to the task producing an outstanding so have to keep the score down.

As we get into extra time with no further calamity, we then allow Burnett in midfield to perform three or four roulettes and drag backs which really should’ve seen him booted into the stand - but no one does anything and he is allowed to swing over across and Rigg, a child, barely out of school, gets up to head across Baz to make the misery complete. Fuck off. So shit it’s actually funny.

Well fuck me we are shit again after that very brief four-game interlude of not being shit. We got hammered in textbook fashion.  If you just look at the timings of the goals then it’s the perfect recipe for getting mullered.  Two down in the opening 10 minutes and then just when you could think about regrouping at half-time, you let in another one. Though it’s very unlikely, it’s not infeasible to have a much better second half at 3-0 down but if you come out and immediately let in a fourth then you are completely fucked, so we did that. From then on it’s just damage limitation.  Four goals can kind of be put down to have a horrendous day but then you put a different slant on it all together by letting in a fifth in injury time and the goalscorer is a schoolboy that they have just thrown on for a laugh because the game is over and we are so shit that the schoolboys development can’t possibly be harmed. The only good thing about that goal is that a lot of your own fans will have left.

The tone was set by Russell Martin’s team selection. The negative headlines will all go to Mason Holgate and he was truly horrific but he should never of been selected because as was said earlier, Shea Charles deserved to start the game and has proved to be a very capable central defender when called upon. The other mystifying selection was that of Sekou Mara. He was 24 hours from leaving the club if the rumours are to be believed, yet he starts and unsurprisingly, he was shit, because he always is and consequently the attack had no balance. It’s no coincidence that it’s the first game this season where we haven’t scored. Will Smallbone also struggled massively on his return from injury so you could argue that that’s another selection that shouldn’t have been made.

Balance is a key word with this team at the moment. I don’t like the make up of our side in away games which is basically one defensive midfielder and five attackers. We are always going to concede goals playing this way and I would much rather see two number sixes, Downes and Charles and one other more attack minded midfield player - one of Stuart Armstrong, Alcaraz, Smallbone or Adam Armstrong in away games. We got away with it against Plymouth and Sheffield Wednesday but we got found out today.

Another balance issue we have is in central defence. I don’t know too much about Taylor Harwood-Bellis but I hope he’s comfortable playing on the left of the central defenders because all of Holgate, Stephens and Bednarek prefer to play on the right. That was probably the only mitigating factor for Mason Holgate today.

The finger of blame will also be pointed at Baz again today and the third goal was bad from his perspective as it sneaked under his arm. Again though, Russell Martin’s usual defence of him that it is more about those in front of him, largely stands up. He also made some very good saves today.

You can’t really blame the referee David Coote for much that went in today in terms of the result but he was easily the worst referee that we’ve had so far this season. All over the fucking place with a series of mystifying decisions against both teams. It would’ve made any difference today because we were that shit but the only thing you could maybe point out is the penalty we didn’t get at 2-0 for the foul on Manning which could certainly have changed things. Premier League referees who are used to operating with VAR shouldn’t be dropped into the Championship for a week, where you have no back up from the goons at Stockley Park and therefore have to referee the game differently.  Today though, we would’ve probably missed the fucking penalty and even if we had been given one, we would’ve thrown in another goal straight afterwards so it wouldn’t have ultimately made any difference.

Today’s capitulation should actually do us good. It should give some major learning points to Russell Martin and it should also instill in the players that you have to be on it in every single game otherwise this can happen. Everyone says the Championship is a tough league and I’m not sure that a lot of the players believed it. They had better believe it now.

Regarding this game, it’s time to be all Nigel Adkins about it and draw a blue line under it and move on. Next up is Leicester at home on a Friday night after the international break. What could possibly go wrong?