Pre-Season Part 2 - Show Us the Money or F**k Off

 

"The Good News is that a Prem Team Wants You... the Bad News is.... not that much"

The pre-season games started with what was basically training exercise at St George’s Park against Benfica. We acquitted ourselves fairly well, considering we had loads of youngsters in the side and it was the first game under the new manager and we tried to play his way. Sure, we had a few scary moments trying to play out from the back but most of those were caused by players who you would hope were nowhere near the first team this season like McCarthy and Djenepo. The kids acquitted themselves well with Jayden Meghoma and Sam Amo-Ameyaw being the stand-outs,  They both looked very good on the ball, if a little lightweight in the physical challenges. We lost 2-0 with the first goal being us getting caught with too many players forward and the second goal was just before half-time with the Benfica left winger advancing to the edge of the penalty area, and before James Bree seemed to realise that he needed to stop backing off and actually close to him down, he belted a diagonal shot across McCarthy and into the far corner.

However, of course the result didn’t matter as it was all about minutes in the tank it was nice to see us trying to play with a bit of confidence and good to see other youngsters and near youngsters like Tyler Dibling, Kamari Doyle, Tino Livramento and Will Smallbone.

Transfers started happening with Ibrahima Diallo joining some club whose name I have forgotten in Qatar. It's a kind of an ignominious end for a player who is only 24 but has never ever showed the right level of consistency to be a regular player in the Premier League and I would’ve said there was absolutely zero chance that he would’ve been any better in the Championship. Like with Mislav Orsic, this doesn’t even register on the Give-a-fuck-ometer. I remember Diallo having a decent game on his debut against Liverpool when he overshadowed Thiago Alcantara for a lot of the game but more recently, he’ll probably be remembered for coming on as a sub against Arsenal when we were 3-1 up with five minutes to go and within three minutes we had let in two goals as Diallo did an amazing impression of a fucking training cone.  He was sold an absolute hospital pass by the twat in the polo neck but even so, his dreadful showing was a bit of an indication of where he was at.

Diallo Leaves

The next pre-season game saw us a visit the far-flung field of the Sport Republic Empire, with a trip to Izmir in Turkey to play against Goztepe, who are currently in the equivalent of the Championship, in Turkey. I didn’t really realise much about their history until just before the game. They were Turkish champions in 1950 before falling on hard times financially and disappearing down into the equivalent of non-league with four relegations in five seasons due to being under a transfer embargo and all that good stuff. They have since turned around and began their journey back to the Super Lig in Turkey. Sounds very similar to ourselves and even Portsmouth as a matter of fact - until you remember that Pompey were never really punished and haven’t made their way back anywhere yet.

Pre-season results are in the main meaningless but performances or not.  It’s not just about fitness as it’s also about style of play and whether the players that we have are suitable for the system that we are trying to play. I never understand getting too hung up on results and I have in the past thought the pre-season games didn’t really matter much at all but after last season I’ve change my mind a bit. In the friendlies this time last year, we looked fucking crap - shaky in defence and with nothing much going on in attack. That definitely came to pass when the season proper started so was hoping to see something today.

The first half was very similar to the Benfica game in that we looked tidy in possession but then ran out of any idea when we got to the attacking third. It was hard to remember Che Adams having more than one or two touches of the ball.  Defensively, we looked a bit worrying with the full-backs exposed and you could especially tell that Livramento was feeling his way into the game. The centre back pairing of Lyanco and Stephens is one of interest because they are probably the least likely to leave out of the six central defenders that we have on the books at the moment. When the opening goal from Goztepe came, it was a complete calamity for Bazunu, who had been rightly getting praised for his solid performance and one spectacular save against Benfica. Goztepe got away on the left and Bazunu was anticipating a cross pulled back towards the penalty spot but the striker just passed in the near post into the big gap. Horrible goalkeeping.

The second half continued in much the same vein for the first 10 minutes or so until Sekou Mara was tripped in the box to give us a penalty. Up stepped JWP and the shit pitch under his feet gave way meaning he hit the penalty at the Izmir moon. 5 minutes later we made an army of substitutions after we had won a corner. Over it came, not very well cleared and Alcaraz smashed it first time on the volley into the corner of the net. The rest of the second-half showed promise, mainly from Sam Amo-Ameyaw, who came closest to winning it when he tricked his way past a couple of players from the right wing before rolling narrowly wide of the far post. The central defence of Bednarek and Salisu looked have a lot stronger than what we saw in the first half and what a difference Romeo Lavia made at the base of the midfield.

Teams Line Up for the Sport Republic Anthem

There were a couple of minor experiments which to be honest, weren't particularly successful. Will Smallbone started the game as a number six behind JWP and the game kind of passed him by without him making any sort of mark either with or without the ball.  Adam Armstrong was deployed deeper in a three-man midfield and for five minutes he enthusiastically got himself on the ball and started knocking it around but after that he completely disappeared. He also played this position against Benfica, implying it’s not something he was doing just to make up the numbers.

Surely we win the third friendly – it’s against a team managed by Ruben Selles who has somehow blagged his way into the Reading managers job which of course is his second position after his first one ended with a record of one win in fifteen games. He must interview well and have a good agent.

The clouds of doubt seemed to lift a bit with Saints showing me a lot of what Russell Martin football was all about. A Bednarek header from a corner for 1-0 after five minutes was added to on ten minutes as Tino got down the right, Adam Armstrong stepped over it and JWP took a touch before knocking it into the net.  Liquid football with triangles and third man runs and people moving ahead of the ball. What the fuck is this? Ruben must’ve been wondering where our rest defence was and the answer was that it was fucking nowhere as Bednarek made a mistake on  the halfway line and Reading broke through two on one. A simple pass sideways to take out the last defender and with Bazunu obligingly standing far too far to the right, the Reading forward just rolled the ball into the centre of the goal. Fucking hell that was bad.

Half-time and back out there and very soon it was 3-1 with a quite brilliant goal with KWP coming off the left, feeding the ball into Alcaraz’ feet and he laid it off first time to Adam Armstrong who swept into the net with his right foot from the edge of the box. What a fucking goal that is.  There was another equally superb goal after that with Sam Edozie burning two players on the left hand side before pulling the ball back and after an Adams step over, there was Joe Aribo almost breaking into a jog before sweeping the ball into the net. There is still time for another fuck up though and this time neither Caleta-Car or debutant Shea Charles covered themselves in glory and the eventual shot should’ve been saved but it went under Bazunu, who squashed it into the net.  Yes, the goalkeeper situation is very much still a clear and present danger.

Next up came the most tone deaf friendly in the history of tone deaf friendlies, with the visit of Bournemouth to St Mary‘s. Because they are incredibly tinpot, Bournemouth sold out their ticket entitlement instantly whilst most right-thinking Saints fans pondered the wisdom of arranging a home friendly against fucking Bournemouth. Russell Martin rotated and we didn’t get anything that looked remotely like a first choice team on the pitch at the start. Lyanco was playing, fresh from a broken-down move to Besiktas, and was partnered by Shea Charles, once again playing out of position. You could tell it was a fixture that Martin didn’t particularly want because Djenepo was starting and Sam Amo was crow-barred into a three-man midfield which was obviously going to be very lightweight. Romeo Lavia started despite Liverpool leaking their latest bid just before the game. £37 million apparently, instantly turned down. When will they understand that there is very little advantage and no need for us to sell a player for a knockdown fee if the player is not on huge wages, which Romeo isn’t going to be.

With Romeo playing like his mind really wasn’t on it, we started okay but conceded the first goal in about 15 minutes when Ouattara was allowed a free header in the box with Lyanco and James Bree seemingly totally unaware that there was any danger. We were knocking the ball about at the back with some confidence but then Shea Charles attempted a ridiculous ball from the left back area to an area in front of the right centre back and despite a clear foul on Sam Amo, the referee allowed Bournemouth to play on and on they scored again easily.

At this point it was looking like this might turn into an absolute fucking nightmare but we rallied, won a free kick from Ouattara’s third tactical foul in the first half and Ryan Manning’s delivery was powerfully headed in by Charles at the back post to make it more respectable at half-time.

With Will Smallbone on for Lavia at half-time, Saints looked better and the first incident was caused by the clown show that is Djenepo, diving in the penalty area to get everybody riled up. Not that Adam Smith needed riling up as he had already trashed through the back of Edozie and was all shirt-pulling and late tackles, even in a friendly. Yet another foul by Smith on substitute Jayden Meghoma, gave us a free kick which was tapped quickly infield to Stuart Armstrong who took a touch before burying it under the Bournemouth keeper to make it 2–2. It’s nice to have the lesser spotted Stuart Armstrong back in the fold, even though he pissed me off last season, when he seemed to phone it in a lot of the time.

With both teams making a load of subs as the second half went on, we had a chance to go ahead through Tella but he was blocked by some committed defending before we got done on the break and David Brooks ran through to score the winner, sending the Bournemouth massive into raptures and giving them a slightly undeserved 3–2 win in their Cup Final. Good luck in the Premier League lads.

A couple of days after the Bournemouth game saw another leaked bid from Liverpool for Lavia, this time for a total fee of £45 million. Just pay the fifty lads or run the risk of Chelsea coming in.  Jason Wilcox gave an interview in which he basically said that players would only leave for their true value and that only players that both he and the manager wanted, would be arriving.  Nice talk and so far, the actions had backed this up.  More evidence of our stance came with news of us rejecting a £20 million (yes, you read that right) offer from West Ham for JWP.  West Ham's idea of 'add-ons' was probably a bag of dildo's from David Sullivan's lock-up.  Again, much crying because we are asking too much apparently.  Who would have thought that we value our captain and our best player over the last 5 years or so.  

Having been quiet for a few weeks, Burnley started making noises about Nathan Tella who, unfortunately for them, is now our first-choice wide player, so offer us a ridiculous amount of money or fuck off. Again, there is no advantage to us selling Nathan on the cheap because he won’t be a particularly high earner and he is a vital member of our first team who we would have to replace should we decide to sell. Also, you wonder where Burnley will be this time next year. They are going to be finishing in the bottom six next year and it’s just a case of whether it’s bottom three or not? Will Vincent Kompany still be there?  Regardless of all that, I would suggest that their £9.5 million alleged bid is probably less than half of what we would accept.  In a bizarre twist, the Burnley owner, retweeted a campaign by his daughter to free Nathan Tella and let him join Burnley.  No issue with a teenager posting it but Alan Pace can fucking do one.  Put your big boy pants on and give us £25 million if you want to make your daughter's wish come true.  I would have said £20 million but I've now added a Burnley Tax.

Nathan Tella Delighted at Not Living in Burnley

If the Bournemouth game painted a picture of the upcoming season as being one of kamikaze attacking and even more kamikaze defending, the AZ Alkmaar friendly showed a bit of a more of a pragmatic approach. The midfield of JWP, Smallbone and Alcaraz was much more disciplined but as a result, the free-flowing attacking didn’t really happen. As an exercise it was a very worthwhile performance but for entertainment it was not great as we lost 1-0.

You can see the Sheffield Wednesday starting line-up taking place. Charles and Stephens are the starting centre backs if Bednarek is injured. Ryan Manning will start at left back and it will be one of Tino or KWP at right back, depending on who is still here. The three forward places are more up for grabs.  Nathan Tella will undoubtedly be one of them but there are still question marks over who will be the second winger and the central striker.  Edozie and Adam Armstrong seem favourites at the moment.   Of course, the picture could all change before the Sheffield Wednesday game and it will certainly change before the transfer window closes.

On that score, we got got shot of another one that doesn’t register on the Give-A-Fuck-ometer with Mohammed Salisu leaving for Monaco for about £16 million, which is good money for a player with one year left, especially one who didn’t give a shit last season.  He had been a surprise inclusion for me in the Benfica game and in the early season training videos. I didn’t expect him to show up at all in the same way that he didn’t show up at the tail end of last season and hasn’t strung together three good games in a row for a year and a half.  The shame with Salisu is that he’s got it in him to be a really good defender but he appears to thinks he’s better than he is but the truth is that he hasn’t developed in the way the club thought he would – in fact, he hasn’t improved at all since he got here.  Good defending is all about consistency. When he was signed, it was assumed that he would be a player that would be transferred in a few years for £50 million or so but not to be.

Another centre back went out the door with Duje Caleta-Car leaving on a season long loan to go back to France and play for Lyon.  I feel that the guy could have been as asset in the Championship but I guess that he doesn’t want to be here.  Loaning him out seems a bit strange.  Are we going to take him back of we go up or was this the only offer on the table.  I guess that with multiple years left on his contract, we can afford for him to go out on loan for a season without his value dropping.

So, pre-season is done and the opening Championship fixture is upon us.  Hillsborough awaits.  Of course there is no real way of predicting how Saints will fare this season as the squad will probably look a lot different in about 4 weeks time when the transfer window closes.  Liverpool may have found a few more pennies behind the sofa to tempt us into selling Romeo Lavia, likewise West Ham with JWP and Newcastle with Tino.  We might bring in Joel Piroe from Swansea or we may have Kamaldeen Sulemana getting his head down and getting on with it in the Championship.  I’m really looking forward to it and judging by the increases season ticket sales, many more are too.  After 3 years of ‘mainly shit’, I’m just looking forward to some decent football and the club turning itself around and heading in the right direction once more.  It is however a lot to ask for us to suddenly click, having spent the last 3 years being ‘mainly shit’ and so fans are going to have to have a bit of what fans never usually have – patience.

Bring it on and Up The Fucking Saints.