Premier League Match 26 - Manchester United 0 Southampton 0

 

KWP Waits for the Racism to Descend

As is always the case, the fixtures are now starting to get tough with a trip to Old Trafford, which is never the easiest place to go of course.  If United don’t get you, the referee and VAR often will. There is much to dislike about United but from my point of view, most of that comes from enduring their 20 years of success under Sir Alex Ferguson. The last 10 years has been amusing because the social media age provides a wonderful insight into the sense of entitlement of a large percentage of their supporters. They lost rather heavily last week and the carnage was amazing.

As we were basking in the glory of our win against Leicester, the following day saw Manchester United travel to Liverpool and it was with great amusement that we all saw them lose 7-0, in a style of capitulation manner that was only too familiar to us. They didn’t go full-Southampton in that they didn’t have anyone sent off and didn’t lose by nine. They of course should’ve had one or two sent off but you know, referees and United.  Put it this way, if a Southampton player shoves a linesman today, expect him to get sent off.

Yep, that 7-0 defeat highlighted to the world what everyone knew already and that was that Bruno Fernandes is a massive Rat faced whiny bell-end and possibly the opposition player that fans of the other 19 Premier League clubs, hate more than any other.  Andy Robertson and Bruno Guimaraes might get a few votes but I think this particular Bruno wins.

It’s ironic that they got rid of Cristiano Ronaldo because of his bad attitude but they kept Bruno and made him captain, even though his attitude is demonstrably worse. Fernandes of course, because he’s a Manchester United player, gets away with absolute murder. Remember the game out there a couple of years ago when he took a swing At Oriol Romeu. Pathetic little wanker.

A week before the 7-0 defeat, they had won the Carabao Cup against Newcastle, who of course progressed at our expense from the semi-final. Newcastle turned up at Wembley, lost 2-0, didn’t have a shot and went home. It’s hard to imagine that we would’ve done less than that if we had got to the final.  Today will be a chance to prove that I guess and whilst you could never rule out the chance of getting absolutely battered at Old Trafford, we have to go in there believing that United are not invincible and that we can cause them problems.

Erik Ten Hag is in his first full season as United manager and he didn’t get off to the best of starts with the most notable result being a 4-0 defeat at Brentford. That turned out to be Cristiano Ronaldo’s last game and since then, United have undeniably picked up, helped by about £200 million worth of new signings. One of those, Casemiro, filled the chasm that they have had for the last few seasons in the centre of midfield. He has been truly exceptional since he arrived though he did somewhat to go missing when they were getting smashed at Anfield last week. Other expensive signings like Antony, have not been so successful despite having undoubted ability. He was signed for about £90 million to play on the right wing. Last year they spent £80 million on Jadon Sancho to play on the right wing.

Lisandro Martinez has been an interesting buy. The 5 foot 9 centre back has had his critics but let’s face it, he’d be better than Harry Maguire even if he's 4 foot 6. Everyone has been lauding Ten Hag’s work this season and whilst I admire him for making the decisions that had to be made regarding Ronaldo and Maguire, I do laugh when he’s painted some sort of managerial genius when he has one of the most expensive squads in history at his disposal and he’s just spent another 200 million on it.

United’s resurgence has been built on the back of a home grown player who didn’t cost a transfer fee with Marcus Rashford being on an incredible run of goal scoring form since the World Cup. It’s too simple to say stop him and you stop United but put it this way, he is certainly going to be more of a threat than Wout Weghorst, which might literally translate to Big Carthorse (possibly).

The sub-plot with United is always about the owners, the infamous Glazer family who fired everyone up by announcing that they were considering selling a few months ago but needless to say, the club hasn’t been sold and needless to say, the narrative has somewhat changed and it looks like they may not sell after all. Those poor fans will just have to deal with having £200 million spent on the team every transfer window.

When Ruben Selles won his first game against Chelsea, we then went up to Leeds and he picked exactly the same team as a reward, even though Leeds away is a completely different assignment. We beat Leicester at home last week and today is a completely different assignment, so I am really hoping that he doesn’t stick to the same team, particularly in defence. Let’s give it a go today. If we try and defend, we will get beat so let’s have a go, try and attack the full backs, neither of whom are particularly great defensively and put them under a bit of pressure. No one is expecting us to get a point today so let’s give it a go and let’s have Fernandes whining like a little bitch by the time the game is over.

In the event, Ruben has gone with the same team that got the win against Leicester apart from Romain Perraud coming in left back with KWP moving over to the right hand side to replace the injured Maitland-Niles.  Ten Hag has left the door open a bit for us by picking Carthorst and a line behind him of Rashford, Sancho and Anthony. This means Bruno Fernandes is playing deeper alongside Casemiro. Definite opportunity there when we win the ball back.

Saints comfortably get into the game and don’t look overawed at all but a break down our right-hand side sees Rashford bearing down on Baz who gets down low to make a good one-handed save in front of the lumbering Carthorst.

We are trying to attack, with Alcaraz being at the centre of most of it. He knocks the ball round Lisandro Martinez who in true Argentina fashion, just blocks him and takes the yellow card after only 10 minutes.  Next time, Alcaraz skips past a couple of players on the edge of the box before slipping as he tries to shoot. Wan-Bissaka has a chance to clear it but fucks it up and the ball finds its way to Perraud on the left-hand side and he clips in a superb cross along the 6 yard line and Theo Walcott comes flying into thump a header goalwards but unfortunately it’s straight at de Gea, who knocks it over the bar. A yard either side or downwards and it’s a certain goal.  Shit.

Whilst Theo is not in the team for his heading ability, that’s all that Carthorst is in the United team for, so it’s with great amusement that Shaw slings over a cross and it hits Carthorst on the nosebag and plops down for Baz to pick up.

Alcaraz picks up a ball in midfield and spins past Martinez before playing a lovely ball inside Wan-Bissaka for Sulemana who is away and sees his shot blocked by Varane. It’s Alcaraz again, playing an attempted 1-2 with Walcott but when he gets to the return pass, Casimero comes launching in and clatters him. Anthony Taylor is right next to the incident and is clearly not impressed and a yellow card comes out. Oh, this is interesting, we are off to VAR and Andre Marriner.

“Earth calling Anthony Taylor, Come in Anthony…”
“Hi Andre, what have you seen?, dealt with it, yellow”
“Yeah, about that, you see Alcaraz rolling on the ground? Where’s he holding his leg?”
“Err, just under his knee”
“Yeah, Casemiro comes flying in like a lunatic, off the ground, out of control… can you see where I’m going with this?”
“Yeah but he got the ball so surely it’s yellow”
“Hasn’t been in the rulebook since you had a full head of hair mate”
“Shit!  Send me to the monitor to have a look so I don’t look so bad”
“No worries mate”….
[Checks Monitor]
“Fucking hell Andre, he’s landed halfway up his leg”
“Sure does Anthony.  It’s so obviously a red that only a fucking idiot would be able to complain about that”
“Bruno Fernandes is spitting his dummy out”
“I rest my case”

And it’s a red. Off you go you dirty bastard, stop crying.

Casemiro Walks, Shaw Asks if the Referee has any Crisps

It would be beautiful if JWP stuck this free kick in the net. Just beautiful. It is right on the edge of his range though but he goes for it and it flicks off the wall and with de Gea  absolutely nowhere, it drops wide of the opposite post.

We get an early opportunity to see if there will be a levelling-up from the officials and the signs are good as KWP executes a superb tackle on Rat Faced Prick on the right of the penalty area and Fernandes embarrasses himself again with histrionics and gestures and begging.  Such a wanker.

Despite having 10, United are still dangerous, especially when they move the ball quickly and win a free kick on their right hand side when Sulemana hauls down Antony.  Rat Face whips in and Varane meets at the far post but Baz that gets down well to pull off a decent block.   Ten Hag has had a look for a few minutes and decided that he can do without Carthorst and so off he canters to be replaced by Scott McTominay – he of the triple handball incident at St Mary’s earlier on this season.

Talking of handball – Rat Face is in full begging mode again as ABK slips as a low cross comes in and it hits him full in the chest.  Taylor obviously sees nothing in it and nor does VAR but the babies are crying and Shaw thinks it’s therefore ok to kick Walcott up in the air, for which he should get booked but doesn’t.

Half time and lots of whining.  I see about 10 replays of the ABK incident and no angle proves that he handles it, not one.  One makes it look like it’s hits his knee before his chest, in which case, even if the chest was an arm, it’s not handball.  A replay of the Casemiro challenge shows it’s even worse than I originally thought.

Unlike the game against Wolves when we were faced with a team with 10 men, Saints start the second half really well, passing the ball and making United work. JWP feeds KWP who burns past Rashford and gets a cross over, which flicks off McTominay towards his own goal but Wan-Bissaka is stood behind de Gea and clears off the line.

It’s been coming because there hasn’t been one for 10 minutes or so but now it’s time for another classic Bruno Fernandes Rat Faced Prick moment as he gets robbed of possession on the edge of the box by Lavia and carts him over. There is no way any player on this earth can argue that he hasn’t committed a foul there but Rat Face is all arm waving and screwing up face at the referee. In short, he’s a little twat, like a toddler throwing a tantrum in a supermarket.  Everyone looks away because they feel sorry for the parents. Come on James…. stick this one in the net please.

Silence in Old Trafford (which is not unusual on the face of it) and up steps JWP and with his wand of a right foot it’s over the wall and dipping and it flicks off the bar and over.  Fuck.

Alcaraz is off, probably due to last weeks injury and Casemiro’s effort today and Stuart Armstrong on, signalling that we at least want to keep attacking.  Lavia puts Perraud on the left hand side his ball inside finds Sulemana and he dribbles into the box before getting blocked off by McTominay.  Good defending to be fair

It’s more or less the end of Sulemana as he and Adams come off and you guessed it, Chucklevision with Paul and Barry.  United have a corner on the left and it comes in from Shaw and is headed away but Man United win it back and Antony and Wan-Bissaka combine to give the ball away to ABK and he sends Walcott streaking through from half way with Lisandro Martinez the closest player. Martinez has already been booked so Walcott really has to come across the front of him onto his right foot but he doesn’t look confident enough to do that and stays on his left foot and when it comes to the shot, de Gea is equal to it easily enough.

Because of the players United have got on the pitch, they are still a danger every time they attack and Shaw and Rashford on their left-hand side work an opening for Bruno Fernandes to try side footed effort for 20 yards but Baz gets down to flick a hand out and tip it onto the post. Quite brilliant save. I would not have been happy if that fucking rat had scored

On our next attack we’re win a corner on the right hand side and work it short to KWP on the corner of the penalty area and as United aren’t really closing him down, he moves across a couple of yards before hammering a shot left-footed which carves away from de Gea, smacks of the post and comes out.  Shit…

United haven’t tried the ‘Pressure the Ref’ trick for a while so Rashford has a go as he runs through on Bazunu, who pulls out of the challenge and Saint Marcus clicks his heels together and hits the deck.  It’s such a pathetic dive that it’s laughable.  How does he not get booked for that?

Dive of the Season

Ten Hag has removed £180 million of averageness with Sancho and Antony being replaced with Garnacho and Pellestri and the former tries to take on KWP and it’s another superb tackle which leaves Garnacho in a heap.

90, 91 – I think we’ll take a point now. The final action of the game is Mara breaking down the right hand side and Fat Boy Shaw sure can’t even be bothered to try and make a tackle so just hacks him down.  He then boots the ball away but Anthony Taylor is clearly had enough of winding up United folk today.

I guess we’re going to have to start with a discussion on whether that was a point gained or two dropped. Personally, I feel that is both. At the start of the season I would’ve certainly thought more with this being a point gained because our need was not desperate. Because of the situation that we have got ourselves into, it probably is two points dropped but then, a point at Old Trafford is never really a bad result.

Unlike the game against Wolves a few weeks ago when we were playing against 10 men for an hour, we did at least maintain some kind of attacking threat and there was an intent to go forward even though Ruben pulled that mad Double Chuckle Brothers substitution again. The fact that we didn’t score today was down to a lack of quality on the ball in from the wide areas and the chances falling to players who have no confidence in front of goal, with Theo Walcott being the obvious example of this.

It will get lost in the narrative over the sending off but Saints did create some good chances before the red card but as with all the attempts after, including two free kicks, we never worked the goalkeeper enough with de Gea only really been extended once, from Walcott’s header.

As I said, a lot of the attacking play floundered on the final ball into the box and Charly Alcaraz didn’t look fully fit, especially after the Casemiro assault. I thought the first substitution, with Stuart Armstrong replacing Alcaraz, was good but as referred to earlier, the Chuckle Brothers substitution added nothing. We didn’t need legs at the top of the pitch in this particular game, we needed more of a goal threat. Mind you, I don’t recall Tall Paul even getting a touch of the ball when he came on for the last six minutes. When he is on the pitch we really do have to get balls into the box and we clearly have no idea how to do that, otherwise it’s a complete waste of any assets he might have.

I have to say that I was impressed in the main with Anthony Taylor today. Though you could say the red card was slightly harsh because he got the ball, it was clearly dangerous and his foot connected high up on Alcaraz shin. Though he probably had to give that as a red card, I was impressed that he didn’t even things up or buy any of the Bruno Fernandes remonstration bullshit after perfectly fair tackles. He also didn’t buy the amazing dive by Marcus Rashford though I have to say, I find it absolutely ridiculous that that sort of shit doesn’t even earn you a booking.

Fernandes was as predicted, a complete fucking rat, probably brought on today by Ten Hag’s team selection which meant he had to play slightly deeper than the little princess would’ve wanted, which of course became a necessity once Casimero got sent off. I do live for the day when someone just absolutely wipes the little fucker out or a referee just sends him off after 15 minutes or something.

Anthony Taylor Ponders Calling Out Pest Control

It was a good day for the back four and goalkeeper, especially for Baz, whose tip onto the post from Bruno‘s shot from the edge of the box was probably the main thing that earned us a point today. It’s another clean sheet and Bednarek managed to break his shite-decent-shite-decent run of performances. We looked pretty comfortable defensively even when United had 11 because before they made the substitution to bring on McTominay to stiffen the midfield, they had Wout Weghorst up front, who is absolute bollocks. At the end of his career it will list Manchester United as one of his former clubs and everyone will wonder how the fuck that happened. KWP did an excellent job at right back keeping the in-form Rashford very quiet both before and after the red card and Rashford in the end was restricted to one horrible fucking dive to try and win a penalty.

As said earlier, I have a bit of a dislike for United, which is mainly down to the entitlement of their fans, players and now, even the new manager.  Erik ten Hag‘s interview after the game was absolutely embarrassing. He was trying to question why Casemiro never got sent off in all the time he was playing for Real Madrid but he’s somehow been sent off twice for Manchester United.  If you don’t know why Erik, you’re a bigger idiot than I thought. He has grabbed a player round the throat (against Palace) and connected with a tackle halfway up the shin today. He has totally deserved the two red cards that he has got. Maybe he was running around flying into tackles today because you picked Bruno Fernandes to play next to him so he was flying around covering all the gaps. And as for moaning about United not getting a penalty. You know the rules you fucking idiot. 10 replays couldn’t prove that that ball had hit Bella-Kotchap’s arm so how is it controversial not to give it? Piss off.

United fans are also bitching about two perfectly fair tackles that KWP put in, one on the Rat and one on Garnacho.  This of course leads to the usual United thing whereby if you happen to have any black players in your team, their social media accounts will be bombarded with monkey emojis and other racist abuse. KWP seemed to be the main victim of that but ABK got it as well.  Maybe United could actually come out and say something and condemn this shit but I bet they don’t, like they didn’t two years ago when Alex Jankewitz got it – and of course they won that game 9-0!

Next up is Brentford, followed by Spurs at home which are two games that we are going to have to take four points from to keep in touch. We are looking better now and it’s the first time for a while we’ve strung two half decent performances in a row together and now the challenge is to extend that run to 5 or 6 games to give us a chance. In the short term, a win against Brentford or Wednesday will actually lift us out of the bottom three so that has to be the aim.  If that  happens, it will be interesting to see how other teams react to scoreboard pressure of actually being below the line.