League Cup 4th Round - Chelsea 1 Southampton 1 (Chelsea win 4-3 on pens)

 

Shame This Didn't Win The Game

A nice easy favourable draw in the Carabao Cup sees Saints in the 4th Round away at Stamford Bridge, home of the Champions League winners from last season. Let’s not kid ourselves that this is going to be the first choice 11 from both teams but let’s face it, Chelsea are pretty formidable whatever 11 they put on the pitch.

I’m expecting Ralph to change a vast majority of our team and it seems to have become a narrative this season that the cup competitions are for playing the players that are not in the Premier League starting 11. In the first game in this competition against Newport, a number of players used it as a springboard to get themselves into the Premier League team like Armando Broja, Moi Elyounoussi and Nathan Redmond. There will hopefully be a few others putting their hand up from this game.

The sub-plot of this game is of course the managers. It’ll be interesting to see if Tommy Tuchel loses his shit again like he did in the league game. That of course didn’t land him with an FA charge where as we all know, Ralph managed to get himself fined 20 grand. Tommy‘s main gripe was against VAR which of course is not a thing in the Carabao cup for some reason, despite it being available at this ground obviously. I think the FA Cup still has the rule where if it’s installed at the ground then you use it and if it’s not then you don’t. Having that mismatch across matches in the same competition is clearly retarded so the Carabao Cup definitely has something going for it with its all for nothing approach. Another thing it’s got right is to not have extra time and to go straight to penalties at 90 minutes.

To the team news and unsurprisingly, Ralph has made nine changes from the weekend with only Salisu and Diallo remaining in the team. It looks like a 4-2-2-2 set up with KWP at left back and Stuart Armstrong, who is captain for the evening, and Diallo in the centre of midfield. There is another chance for Lyanco in the centre of defence so that should certainly add to the entertainment factor.

Chelsea’s lineup is predictably strong but there is inexperience in the central defence with Chalobah and Sarr starting, which should give us a chance if our forwards are on their game.

Having said that it was good that there is no VAR at this game, I’m beginning to wonder about that because the referee is Kevin Friend, well known from past experience to be one of the referees you do not want when you are playing one of the big clubs, especially away from home.  In his 20 grand interview after the league game, Ralph mentione our history with Mike Dean – we have similar with Kevin Friend from past matches against Liverpool and Spurs in particular.

Away we go and we’ve all got the formation wrong unless KWP has forgotten where he’s supposed to be.  It’s 3 at the back with Valery as the right sided centre back and Lyanco in the middle.  I am very frightened.  It’s only a few days before Hallowe’en I guess and in addition, Moussa is left wing back.  Stu Armstrong and Diallo in the centre of midfield with a front three of Arma, Che and Tella.

The first chance is predictably at our end of the pitch and it’s a Chelsea corner from the right and once again, our defending of set plays is shite as Saul gets an unchallenged header, thumps it towards to top bin and Fraser gets up and across to claw it out one handed.  Excellent save.  Havertz has the next effort after cutting in from the left and goes for the far corner but just wide.

Nothing really prepares you for the full Kevin Friend experience even though you’ve seen it lots of times before.  Marcos Alonso goes on a murder spree, not for the first time... and mows down three players and nothing happens.  KWP gives him one back… free kick.  Whilst Kevin has made a poor start, Lyanco on the other hand has started well, organising well and covering with pace and commitment.  Keep it up you nutter.

23 minutes gone and the first booking of the encounter as Kovacic gets away from Diallo in midfield and the Saints man pulls him back.  Clear yellow card that Kevin can’t give quickly enough.  Chelsea are piling on the pressure a bit now and Lyanco is sold a bit of a turd by Valery being out of position and has to try and stop Havertz 1v1 but can’t stop the German smashing one at the near post which Fraser beats away.  Whilst this is going on, Valery is jogging back.

Up front so far, we’ve been useless and it’s down to one of our defenders to start things rolling as KWP runs at the edge of the box and gets bundled over.  Kevin has his whistle stuck up his ass however and gives nothing but the ball runs lose to Stuart Armstrong whose shot is deflected by Sarr and saved by Kepa.  The 1 second that’s elapsed since the foul means that Kevin cannot of course get the whistle out of his ass and give us the free kick.

Tella is then pulled back as he tries to go past Reece James and by the precedent he set ten minutes go, Kevin Friend has to book him but as Kevin’s a clever bastard, he’s worked out that if he waves play on then he doesn’t have to and the additional bonus is that it pisses off the Southampton players.  Straight after that, Diallo gets pulled back by Saul and this time gets the free kick but again, no card comes out.  Diallo, being the player who got booked for the same offence, may have mentioned that to Kevin, who marches over and gives him a bollocking.  Kevin Friend-of-the-big-Clubs is still alive and well.

Lyanco cuts out another cross after a quick break and thumps it behind to give Chelsea a corner as half time approaches.  Another chance to get our set piece defending right... yeah, about that.  Over it comes and we’ve ended up with 5 foot 3 KWP marking 6 foot plus Havertz and he guides it into the net giving Fraser no chance.  Shit.  1-0 down at half time.

We don’t really deserve to be behind but then maybe you do if you defend set pieces like we do.  Also, our forwards have been arse.  Little flashes from Tella and Arma and not even that from Adams who doesn't look fit.  Considering they are playing against the most inexperienced part of the Chelsea team, they really should be doing better.

Saints start fast and press high and Sarr gets dispossessed in his own half by Valery who advances and pokes it through to KWP.  He’s coming in at a narrow angle and just lashes it at the goal and it jams between Kepa’s legs on it’s way through and rolls perfectly into the path of Che Adams, less than a yard out.  Bearing in mind we missed from here on Saturday, it’s a relief when it hits the net.  1-1, get in!

Saints have a bit of possession and pressure straight after the goal but Chelsea come roaring back with Havertz forcing a save from Forster.  Up the other end and Stu Armstrong produces some magic in midfield to run at the Chelsea defence and Adam Armstrong tries a curler which is on target but Kepa kept out well down low. Up the other end and Hudson-Odoi slid Barkley through on goal but luckily, this is the actual Ross Barkley, not the one who everyone hyped up as the second coming of Gazza about 8 years ago.  Barkley is blocked by Forster again after some comedy defending by Djenepo who tries to take down a high ball on his chest whilst doing a backward roll.  Fraser is keeping very busy, tipping a James free kick over the bar after Che had done some ‘helping out’ on the edge of the box.

Time for the first subs of the day from both managers and Chelsea have got Mount and Chilwell, two England internationals ready.  Meanwhile, in the cheap seats, we’re bringing on Theo Walcott and Shane Long.  It’s enough to make you weep.  To be honest though, Che and Tella haven’t exactly been pulling up any trees though it will have done Che some good to get a goal.

The direction of play is still mainly towards our goal and Saul is looking to the heavens as he bands one towards the top corner only to see Forster produce an amazing save to keep it out once more and it’s time to change the midfield with Romeu and Will Smallbone on for Diallo and Stuart Armstrong.

The tide suddenly turns with Shane having realised that Sarr shites himself when under any pressure and hassles him into giving away the ball on right and drives the ball across and it bounces up perfectly for Smallbone to meet as he runs in but he heads it straight at Kepa who beats it out easily.  A yard either side and it’s a goal.

Tino is on for Djenepo for the last five and we look the most likely to win it.  Smallbone shanks a decent opportunity well wide and the 90 is up with 4 added minutes to be played.  93 and Smallbone wins a corner, takes it himself and Lyanco gets up and absolutely thumps a header goalwards but the bloody keeper takes off and superbly tips it over the bar.  Mental celebration and massive shithousing denied.  Over comes another Smallbone corner and Salisu meets it and heads down and Kepa again has to beat it away.  Fucks sake.

94 minutes are well up and Kevin Friend decides to allow one more Chelsea attack because why not? Sarr gets a shot in that Fraser pushes away again and Kevin still plays on as Chelsea have the ball until it peters out so then he has to end it and on we go to penalties.  I’m looking at the players we have on the pitch and I’m struggling to pick five with any confidence.  I’d go with Arma and Romeu but after that I reckon Tino, KWP and Lyanco. OK, here we go – we’re first.

Adam Armstrong – remember you scored 35 times last season… come on, yassss!, 1-0

Marcos Alonso – miss it you zebra crossing bastard… bang…. 1-1

Walcott – oh sweet fuckin Jesus, no chance… up he steps…. Saved, easily.  What a load of shit – fucking scuffed roller that would have hit the post anyway.  The only danger was Kepa diving past it because it was so slow.  Utter predictable shite…1-1

Mount – fuck off you Skate bastard…. SAVED.  What a fucking save that it.  Fraser goes to his right and that’s a worldie save.  Brilliant.  Fuck off Skate… 1-1

Shane Long… oh my days.  What are we trying to do to ourselves?  At least he can’t be offside I guess…. Goal!  Never in doubt – give him another two-year contract (not really) 2-1

Hudson-Odoi – I reckon this is a chance…. Stutter, stutter, Fraser goes the right way… oooof, nearly – good pen though… 2-2

Will Smallbone – Hmmm, he looks terrified, go on lad…… oh shit, that’s gone into orbit… 2-2

Chilwell – not going to miss is he?  Strikes a good ball, bang, 3-2

Oriol Romeu – unless he scores, we’re out of course…. Dink down the middle, goal, is ‘cojones’ a Spanish word? What a man. 3-3

Reece James – again, zero chance that he’s going to miss, come on Fraser…. Wrong way, easy, 4-3, out, fuck it.

Bollocks. We really didn’t deserve to lose that.  Losing a cup game after a good performance hurts a little bit less than if we were shit but it’s annoying all the same when you don’t get what you deserve.  A great game for the neutral but fuck the neutral - there should be no such thing as a neutral in football.


The impressive thing for me was how committed the performance was and once again illustrated that even the players who out of the team fully back the manager and put everything in when they are asked to do so. There was in great performances out there today from the likes of Fraser Forster, KWP, Salisu and most of all, Lyanco who was absolutely outstanding. Good in the air, quick, decent passing, extremely aggressive into the challenge, with a large dose of shithousery and he looked like a completely different player to the tentative nervy panicky centre half who struggled against Oli McBurnie.

 

Cult Hero Incoming

Diallo and Armstrong were excellent in midfield and I guess that the only underperforming area of the team was the strikers. Che Adams got his goal in the end, which he really couldn’t miss but Adam Armstrong and Nathan Tella both flattered to deceive a little bit. You could actually argue that Shane Long was the best of our attacking players when he came on.  Armando Broja's importance to us this season went up a notch after today.

As for another sub, it all seem like a good signing to tide us over when we signed Theo Walcott on loan last season and his performances before he got injured warranted giving him a new contract but bloody hell, he has been awful since he signed a new deal and it was the most predictable thing ever that he would do nothing when he came on as a substitute and when I saw him walking up to take a penalty, I just knew he'd miss and what's more, I knew he'd miss in a really shit way.  Unbelievably, I've discovered he wrote a book about penalties.  Here's the cover

For Fucks Sake

Will Smallbone could’ve had a fairytale if he'd taken either of the two presentable chances that he had in the last 20 minutes but instead of that, he’s going to be thinking about his penalty miss which to be honest, wouldn’t have gone in if there were two goals on top of each other.Regardless of that, it was great to see him back out there and he will be a good player for us in the future.

Having not had a great day against Burnley at the weekend, Ralph had a decent one today with the formation causing Chelsea some problems and we were relatively good at the back. Selecting Yan Valery at centre back wouldn’t have been on everybody’s to-do list but in the main he did okay.  Maybe you could argue that he should have made subs more with penalties in mind as it went straight to pens at 90 minutes.  Three of the substituted players – Stuart Armstrong, Diallo and Adams would certainly have been on the list.  In the event, the 5 takers were the three strikers and two central midfield players which should have been ok but I’d love to know if Theo Walcott has ever scored a penalty in his 15 year career.

Kevin Friend wasn’t any different to the usual and that’s the problem.  One rule for us and one for them throughout.  It’s not like Jon Moss who is just incompetent because you get the impression that Kevin knows exactly what he’s doing.  He gives off this impression of arrogance in the same way that Mark Twattenburg did.  Is pulling a player back a booking or not?  Why do Diallo and Djenepo get booked for it but a player in blue doesn’t? Why can Saul blatantly body check a player to stop an attack and not get booked?  Why do we play on after time is up until the moment that the last Chelsea attack peters out?

Onwards to Watford.  It’ll be interesting to see if Fraser or Lyanco make the starting line-up after their heroics tonight and KWP and Stuart Armstrong should also be in with a shout.  Let’s hope Ralph and subsequently the team, have a good day.