Premier League Match 15 - Fulham 0 Southampton 0

 

Shane Long - Offside from Birth

Boxing Day and a trip to Fulham who started the season like they might as well not bother turning up for matches and they would be better off conceding every game 3-0. Much to the surprise of most however, especially me, they are now making a decent fist of it and, whisper it quietly, have an outside chance of staying in the Premier League at the end of the season, partly due to the improved form and partly due to the number of shit teams down the bottom. They will be looking at Sheffield United, West Brom and Brighton and thinking that they can finish above those three.

Scott Parker was a player that I always liked and he is turning into a manager that I like as well and if he manages to keep Fulham up, then as far as I’m concerned, it’s a Manager of the Season candidate we are looking at.  He’s not present today as a family member has had a positive Covid test so it’s Stuart Gray in the dugout.  Decent guy but he’s in the ‘Saints worst manager ever’ conversation along with Steve Wigley, Jan Poortvliet, Mauricio Pellegrino and a few others.

They basically appear to have a pretty decent first 11 but once you dip below that that they are dreadful, especially defensively. It’s just as well for them that the captain Joakim Anderson, somehow got away with a red card he picked up against Newcastle recently. It was strange because having already been booked, he pulled down Callum Wilson for what was a clear second yellow. The controversy arose because Wilson took three steps and then dived into the penalty area. Anderson’s ban being overturned is another example of the shambles of the people who administer VAR.  Not only do they get it wrong on the day, but people review it and get it wrong afterwards.

Up front they usually have Aleksander Mitrović, who is always a handful but he hasn’t scored many goals this season and nor has the alternative Ivan Cavaleiro.  They have Bobby Decordova-Reid who has put a few in the net and seems to be the best source for goals even though he plays as kind of a right wing back. Ademola Lookman has been decent recently and is maybe beginning to make good on the promise that he has had for the last three years. In midfield recently they’ve had Anguissa who looks like the sort of player usually plays for West Ham, all big and athletic and recently he has been partnered with Mario Lemina who can’t of course play against us because he’s a fucking waster… I mean because he is unable to play against his parent club. Rumour has it that Fulham have an obligation to buy him if they stay up so let’s hope that they do string together enough decent results to make that a reality, after today.  Another in the Fulham ranks is of course Harrison Reed who was never going to get a run of games at Saints. It’s a shame the way it panned out as far as we were concerned because I feel that if he had been given the run of games that should’ve been given in 2017, instead of us signing Jordy Clasie, then the outcome may well have been different. Not to be of course but after today, we wish him well.

There in a few rumours of unfit players coming out of the Saints camp this week. Redmond, Ings and Vestergaard are all doubts, along with the suspended Oriel Romeu. This may well give opportunities to any of Jack Stephens, Ibrahima Diallo, Mohammed Salisu and Stuart Armstrong. Having not got results in the last two games against Arsenal and Manchester City, today is one where we certainly need to show our usual away form and come away with three points. Anything less will be disappointing, regardless of who we have out on the pitch.

Team news and what the actual fuck is that?  Shane Long starts… fuck off!  Why?  He’s looked absolutely useless in his few minutes this season and hasn’t played for the B team so why?  Must have had a hell of a week in training.  His inclusion has me so baffled I almost fail to notice that Vestergaard is out and Jack Stephens comes in.  I feel that it would have been Salisu if Romeu wasn’t missing as well.  So, the spine of Vestergaard, Romeu and Ings is now Stephens, Diallo and Long.  Hmmm.  Then bench contains several options that I would have used before calling on Shane Long but that’s why I write blogs and do podcasts and don’t manage the team.

The opening ten minutes is really poor from us, mainly featuring underhit passes which put the team in trouble.  Fulham are cutting through midfield relatively easily and get to the edge of the box and Lookman has a shot which deflects and goes straight to McCarthy. It’s a bit of a worrying opening to the game to be honest as this seems to be so much space with our press not really working properly. I’m quite happy when the Fulham keeper rolls the ball 5 yards to start a move but Fulham find a way forward because Armstrong is asleep and build up our left and we are lucky that Anguissa ruins what was a great flowing move with a big air shot.

Our first real opening comes courtesy of Harrison Reed who you could always trust for a rash tackle about 30 yards out and he brings down Che Adams which gives JWP an opportunity from the free-kick. It is literally right on the edge of his range but he steps up, does his usual and it’s over the wall and flying towards the top corner but maybe with a touch of the goalkeeper or maybe not, it pings off the bar and bounces down to where Che Adams is steaming him with an open goal but somehow, he completely misses the fucking ball and Fulham get away with it. When they show the reply, you can see that the ball has bounced down of the crossbar and basically done a leg break whilst Adams watches. It’s a bit like Mike Gatting trying to bat against Shane Warne all those years ago.

That’s more or less it for the first half and it’s pretty uninspiring stuff.  Too much long ball hopefulness aimed at Shane Long and we don’t really look like scoring.  Nor to they mind so this has 0-0 or 1-0 written all over it.

Saints first threatening move of the second half is created by Theo Walcott who picks up the ball in the centre circle and just drives at the retreating defence. Defenders are scattering everywhere but when he’s reaches the edge of the box and it’s time to pull the trigger he tries to slide a ball through to KWP and kicks the ground and so it goes nowhere. Fucking shoot man. Fulham break down our right hand side and the cross comes over and with Stephens otherwise engaged marking a big empty space, Ivan Cavaleiro, doesn’t add to his one goal in 37 games with a breath-taking example of 50p head and the ball ends up nearer the corner flag than the goal.

There is a moment of excitement as a long ball forward from McCarthy is flicked on and then knocked down by Adams and Shane Long, fair play to him, meets it well 25 yards out and drills it goalward but unfortunately it’s straight at the goalkeeper who easily tips over the bar.

Saints are definitely the better side now and the ball is swept out a Bertrand on the left hand side by Bednarek and he tries a first time side footed volleyed cross and it runs through to the goalkeeper. Play goes on and word comes over the TV that it is being looked at as a potential penalty to Saints. Fulham carry on and an eventual shot from Lookman is deflected wide by Bednarek’s head for a corner. Play stops and they then show the replay and Aina is leaning into the ball with his arm outstretched which it hits and therefore go straight through to the goalkeeper. Fulham are waiting to take a corner of our end and we are surely about to be given a penalty at the other end and then they say that the VAR referee reviewing it is Fat Jon Moss. They show the replay again and to me, that looks like a clear handball. There is an element of doubt of course because no one knows what the fuck the handball role is any more. Jon Moss was clearly tucking into a plate of Christmas leftovers was he just warmed up in the microwave so clearly couldn’t be arsed to look at it for too long and so we went with the non-decision of the useless referee on the pitch. Wankers.

Unperturbed, Bertrand puts in a really good early cross behind the defence and Shane Long reacts to smash it first time into the net. As he wheels away he has a look towards the linesman and you know what’s coming. Offside by a yard, fuck.

KWP, who has been excellent out on the right, decides to take matters into his own hands and picks up the ball from the ball and drives directly at the penalty area. He is right on the edge of the box and gets completely taken out by Loftus-Cheek.  Surely the only decision to be made is penalty or free-kick but the referee decides that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the challenge that has got nowhere near the ball and just clattered the man and so it’s another non-decision and play on.  It’s embarrassingly bad refereeing.  It was that close to the edge of the box that you wonder if it should be reviewed for potential penalty but of course it isn’t, probably because Fat Jon Moss would have to put down the mince pies he’s stuffing into his fat face

Five to go and another move down the right with the ball flicked through by Long to Adams and his low cross is met in the middle by Walcott who has come in off the left wing and side foots it past the goalkeeper. 1-0, get the fuck in there….. Oh for fucks sake, here comes Jon Moss again. One look at a still tells you that Che Adams was about 4 inches offside when he received the ball before he crossed so yet another one chalked off. It’s the correct decision but for fucks sake.

We’re into extra time and Ralph makes a couple of pointless substitutions, neither of whom touch the ball and there is just one bit of action left as Stephens does really well to throw himself in the way of a goal bound shot by Aina with just seconds remaining on the clock.

The main word that springs to mind is “frustrating”. To be honest, Fulham were shite and we only needed to be a tiny little bit better than what we actually were and we win that game comfortably. The bottom line is that they didn’t make McCarthy make a single save and we had two goals disallowed, one of which was for a very tight offside and we had a penalty shout mysteriously not given.  More on that and the performance of the refereeing dream team later.

We were obviously disrupted today, with three very influential players from the spine of the team all missing. The selection of Shane Long was mystifying but in all truth he didn’t do any worse than expected, he just lived up to my low expectations. The Irish Papa Waigo produced one brainless offside followed by an overhit cross in the first half was peak Shane Long but he did take his disallowed goal very well but once again, he was comfortably offside, water is wet and bears shite in the woods.  It’s the way that he does it with monotonous regularity that is the artform in it all.  Jack Stephens grew into the game after looking shocking for the first half. He did have a couple of ropey moments with totally losing the player he was supposed to be marking and consistently under hitting passes but he got through the game without having a complete shocker, so for that we can be grateful seeing as it was his first game for quite a long time. Ibrahima Diallo was easily the best of the three, producing some nice touches, some nice turns into space and some good little bursts forward. He did look a little bit lightweight at times and occasionally got muscled off of the ball but that’s the sort of thing that experience teaches you how to deal with and he will only get better. Overall, it was a decent debut.

For all Diallo’s good performance though, it looks like he is the most likely to be left out for the next game because both Vestergaard and Ings are going to be out for a while but Romeu will be back from suspension next week.  We missed Vestergaard at both ends today, both as a target for set pieces and also for his passing out of defence.  There was too much hit and hope from the back today and not enough into feet, probably to play to Long’s heading ability.

I thought JWP had an excellent game trying to drive us forward and the defence was relatively tight, even allowing for the poor opposition.  Both KWP and Bertrand were really good going forward but I don’t feel we got enough from the wide players with both Theo Walcott and Stuart Armstrong being frustrating with Armstrong just being a one-man possession recycling machine for Fulham and Walcott always threatening to do something but being let down by the final decision.  Che Adams will be disappointed he didn’t score following the rebound from JWP‘s free-kick but the fact was that we looked pretty blunt upfront and you were always struggling to see where a goal was going to come from.

Ralph seem to settle for a point with about 20 minutes to go which was for me, a little bit disappointing. Making your first substitute in the 91st minute and then another one after that seemed rather pointless unless it was just to run the clock down which is not what we should’ve been doing in this game. I know we had players missing but we really should’ve been looking to win this game today right up to the 95th minute.  We could have done with Djenepo on the left for the last 20 to run at the very dodgy Aina and maybe Tella or N’Lundulu for the last 15 to replace Long.  Indeed, from the very start we looked like a team that was hoping to sneak a win, rather than one that was going to ignore the adversity of having players missing and prove that we were better than them. A point away at Fulham is not a disaster but it should not be painted as anything other than a slightly disappointing result. I do believe that with a full team, we win today relatively comfortably but even with the side we had out today, we certainly should’ve had enough to beat them as they really weren’t very good at all.  It’s a good point if you’re a relegation struggler against a fellow struggler but we’re not – we’re better than that now.  I found all the “good point on the road” stuff from the players on social media slightly grating as well.  They should be disappointed with two points dropped – hopefully they are in private.  It’s about mentality.  You have to stay humble and not be arrogant, but you also have to have a winning mentality.

Now we have to talk about the referee today. Robert England is not fit to be a Premier League referee. He is simply not good enough. He produced an absolute catalogue of mystifying decisions for both sides and today and when you back him up with Jon Moss as the VAR referee then you’ve really got no fucking chance. I have no idea what the handball rule is anymore but from Bertrand’s volleyed cross, Aina leans into the ball with his arm out and deflects it straight to his goalkeeper.  It’s not in a natural position and he gains a clear advantage because the ball just goes straight through to his goalkeeper instead of fizzing across towards other Saints players. How the fuck is that not a penalty?

Having been given that slightly fortunate one at Brighton, I did feel that we’d have to accept some shocking VAR decisions in future games but we’ve had one in every game since.. Against Arsenal we had Holding running straight into Djenepo, we had the Sterling handball against Manchester City which would certainly have been given at the start of the season and now today’s one which would have been given at the start of the season and should’ve been given now.  Maybe another five points as a result of all that lot and then we’re 2^nd instead of 9^th. Remember when VAR was going to take away a lot of the injustices.

Next up is one of our graveyard games, West Ham at home. Due to the sudden influx of Tier 4 Covid ridden Pompey bastards into Southampton just before Christmas, we now find ourselves in Tier 4 so no fans once again. I had maintained my 100% record in the ticket lottery anyway so I can’t say that it affects me that much. In front of the fucking TV again – talking of which, the big white banner that Fulham had covering the seats on two sides of the ground meant that it was like 90 minutes of playing Spot the Ball.  Someone really should have thought that one through.