Taxi for Toby!
New Year’s Day 2020 and a visit from Tottenham Hotspur and
their new manager, José Mourinho, who you may have heard of. So far, he has had
about 10 games in charge and their win rate has risen significantly than in the
last few months of Mauricio Pochettino’s reign. Jose has been trying different
players and in his usual manner, throwing some under the bus because in Jose’s world,
winning trophies is everything and he has proven very successful in doing that
but he can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
The eggs he has tried to break so far include record signing Tanguy Ndombele and Eric Dier, on whom he did the increasingly popular substituting after 15 minutes thing. It’s interesting that he has taken it out on these two players, yet he still has Serge Aurier in the team who as everyone knows, got sent off against Saints in the reverse fixture this season and since then has proven nothing except what we already know which is that he is a complete liability. Talking of liabilities, they have Paulo Gazzaniga in goal and though he is undoubtedly much improved since his days as our reserve keeper, he is still an accident waiting to happen, as proved last week against Chelsea when he went to fly hack a ball clear, missed it and trashed the oncoming player. You might say that accidents happen occasionally but this was a ball that wasn’t even a backpass and he could’ve just stood there and picked it up. There is no way that Gazzaniga would be in goal if Spurs had any sort of viable alternative.
The eggs he has tried to break so far include record signing Tanguy Ndombele and Eric Dier, on whom he did the increasingly popular substituting after 15 minutes thing. It’s interesting that he has taken it out on these two players, yet he still has Serge Aurier in the team who as everyone knows, got sent off against Saints in the reverse fixture this season and since then has proven nothing except what we already know which is that he is a complete liability. Talking of liabilities, they have Paulo Gazzaniga in goal and though he is undoubtedly much improved since his days as our reserve keeper, he is still an accident waiting to happen, as proved last week against Chelsea when he went to fly hack a ball clear, missed it and trashed the oncoming player. You might say that accidents happen occasionally but this was a ball that wasn’t even a backpass and he could’ve just stood there and picked it up. There is no way that Gazzaniga would be in goal if Spurs had any sort of viable alternative.
There seemed to be a cloud hanging over the club
past-Champions League Final and Pochettino paid the price in the end though
everything in his manner suggested his heart wasn’t really in it anymore. Spurs seem to be at a bit of a crossroads
because aside from changing managers, they’ve had issues with their stalwart
players not being at their usual level – Alderweireld and Vertonghen are not
what they were, Eriksen doesn’t seem bothered and Kane seems less mobile than
he was a couple of years ago. . On the positive side, Dele Alli appears to
have returned after his year off and started the Mourinho era with a flurry of
goals. Son Heung Min is missing today
after sticking his boot in Toni Rudiger’s chest last week. Though Rudiger undoubtedly made a meal of it,
Son deserved to get sent off and Spurs appeal against this was rightly kicked
out. Add that to deliberately trashing Andre Gomes which resulted in a broken
leg and maybe Son’s not as nice as everyone at Spurs says he is.
It’s always a case of what could’ve been when you see Toby Alderweireld playing in their defence. I don’t really want to rake over the past too much but the way he joined Spurs was undoubtedly shitty on their part but no questions were ever asked in the same way that very few questions were asked about any of Liverpool‘s transfer dealings with us. That particular episode had a lot to do with Paul Mitchell who left Saints midway through Toby’s one season with us and joined Spurs and lo and behold, that’s where Toby went the following summer. Paul Mitchell is a guy who we have never adequately replaced on the recruitment side of things, a position which comes into focus in January in what is known around these parts as the Ross Wilson Guido Carrillo transfer window.
Judging by the noises coming out of the club, there will undoubtedly be some activity in the transfer window with full-back being the area most in need of attention. The ideal would be a full-back who is happy playing on either side of course. Ralph’s pre-match press conference this week has led us to believe that Shane Long is fit again so it will be interesting to see if it is he or Che Adams starting upfront. Che has been linked with a move away on loan in this window. I can’t help but feel that this is paper talk and I would imagine that the only way he would leave would be permanently, which is unlikely in itself.
Spurs come to us today with a flaky away record over the past six months or so, we have to make sure that we do not play our usual role of kick-starting any player or any team who is in a bad trot of form. Our team is announced and it has Armstrong on the right and Djenepo on the left with Nathan Redmond pushed into the attack behind Danny Ings, King of the Scummers. Boufal’s table has done its job again and kept the winger off the substitutes bench. The table now has better tackling stats than Cedric.
It’s always a case of what could’ve been when you see Toby Alderweireld playing in their defence. I don’t really want to rake over the past too much but the way he joined Spurs was undoubtedly shitty on their part but no questions were ever asked in the same way that very few questions were asked about any of Liverpool‘s transfer dealings with us. That particular episode had a lot to do with Paul Mitchell who left Saints midway through Toby’s one season with us and joined Spurs and lo and behold, that’s where Toby went the following summer. Paul Mitchell is a guy who we have never adequately replaced on the recruitment side of things, a position which comes into focus in January in what is known around these parts as the Ross Wilson Guido Carrillo transfer window.
Judging by the noises coming out of the club, there will undoubtedly be some activity in the transfer window with full-back being the area most in need of attention. The ideal would be a full-back who is happy playing on either side of course. Ralph’s pre-match press conference this week has led us to believe that Shane Long is fit again so it will be interesting to see if it is he or Che Adams starting upfront. Che has been linked with a move away on loan in this window. I can’t help but feel that this is paper talk and I would imagine that the only way he would leave would be permanently, which is unlikely in itself.
Spurs come to us today with a flaky away record over the past six months or so, we have to make sure that we do not play our usual role of kick-starting any player or any team who is in a bad trot of form. Our team is announced and it has Armstrong on the right and Djenepo on the left with Nathan Redmond pushed into the attack behind Danny Ings, King of the Scummers. Boufal’s table has done its job again and kept the winger off the substitutes bench. The table now has better tackling stats than Cedric.
Away we go and it’s Cedric who has our first chance as
Bertrand whips in a superb cross from the left to pick him out and Cedric has a
free header from about 12 yards but the ball heads him rather than him heading
the ball and it goes harmless wide of the far post as he looks at it.
Kane, with 43 goals in his last 10 games against Southampton, picks up the ball on the edge of the box and tries to slot it through for Alli but it’s deflected back to him and he then shoots, seeing the ball hit Bednarek and loop up towards the top corner to where McCarthy claws it away. A decent save from the big man.
The next Spurs attack sees the ball gets played up to Dele Alli on the right-hand side of the penalty area. He tries to jink back inside Jack Stephens, loses the ball and hits the deck in completely pathetic fashion. Even Mike Dean is not given a penalty for that but the arsehole Alli follows him around for five minutes with his arms outstretched pleading for a penalty like a complete pathetic dickhead. The play has gone right up the other end of the pitch and he’s still at it. Wanker. Mike Dean should book him of course either for the dive or the dissent but Mike Dean is of course, also a wanker.
Kane, with 43 goals in his last 10 games against Southampton, picks up the ball on the edge of the box and tries to slot it through for Alli but it’s deflected back to him and he then shoots, seeing the ball hit Bednarek and loop up towards the top corner to where McCarthy claws it away. A decent save from the big man.
The next Spurs attack sees the ball gets played up to Dele Alli on the right-hand side of the penalty area. He tries to jink back inside Jack Stephens, loses the ball and hits the deck in completely pathetic fashion. Even Mike Dean is not given a penalty for that but the arsehole Alli follows him around for five minutes with his arms outstretched pleading for a penalty like a complete pathetic dickhead. The play has gone right up the other end of the pitch and he’s still at it. Wanker. Mike Dean should book him of course either for the dive or the dissent but Mike Dean is of course, also a wanker.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeee!
Armstrong turns up on the left and feeds Redmond who gives Alderweireld twisted blood and eventually finds space for a shot which is blocked in none too convincing fashion by Gazzaniga and a Spurs boot gets to the ball before Armstrong can capitalise and we win a corner.
Spurs try and pass the ball forwards out of defence but Stephens steps up and picks up the ball on the halfway line. A quick look up and over the top of the Spurs defence to where Danny Ings runs onto it with just Alderweireld for company. He flicks up à la Gascoigne at Euro 96 and Alderweireld does a Colin Hendry and goes sliding out of the stadium on his arse which allows Ings to take his time and smash the ball into the net with his left foot as Gazzaniga decides not to even put in an effort to try and stop it. Brilliant fucking goal. 17 minutes and deservedly ahead.
It feels odd not to concede the first goal at home and we have another decent chance just after that as Armstrong gets away down the right, beating Vertonghen and picking up Redmond’s run at the near post but his shot hits Alderweireld, who has paid to get back into the ground after his earlier exit, and it flicks over the bar.
It all goes a bit quiet in terms of goalmouth incident for a bit aside from Alli having another dive but we are defending very well and not really giving them a sniff. There is one chance before half-time as Kane takes a pot-shot which McCarthy spills to the right but he just about gets some of the ball as he dives at it and Alli cartwheels over the top of him. To be fair to Alli, I don’t think he’s actually diving this time but we have to sit through over the VAR check before we can get to half time in the knowledge of 45 minutes very well done.
We start the second half the stronger with Ings spreading
the ball out to Cedric on the right-hand side and he puts in a really good
cross, almost phenomenal, which is met by Redmond about 15 yards and he volleys
it over the bar. Not particularly great
that for a forward.
There is more good play from Saints as we work the ball via Hojbjerg out to Djenepo and he weaves into the box and lays it off for Bertrand to cross. In it comes and there’s Toby Alderweireld, waving his hands about his head and the ball hits his forearm and bounces down allowing Spurs to clear. Clear penalty - it has to be. No whistle from mike though. Eventually, play stops and we get a VAR check but we’ve got the problem that Mike blind bastard Dean didn’t give the penalty in the first place so VAR is highly unlikely to overrule. Despite arms not being in and a natural position and having broken the silhouette and all that shit and the ball clearly hitting his arm, it is no penalty which is absolutely fucking bollocks. He’s basically charged it down. Even Dele is appealing. Might as well cancel the handball rule for defenders if that's not a penalty.
Spurs get a free-kick about 30 yards out when JWP takes one for the team and trips Lo Celso. Ericksen’s chipped free-kick is knocked in by Harry Kane who is immediately flagged offside but he’s done a hamstring in the process and has to go off. An incredibly lengthy VAR check which has everyone believing that the goal is going to be allowed, eventually proves that Kane was offside and so we are still 1-0 up.
Almost out of nowhere, Mourinho decides that he’s fed up not being the centre of attention and wanders over to the seats behind our technical area and gets himself booked for having an argument with someone who no doubt repeated the crowd mantra of ‘Fuck Off Mourinho’. It does prompt a rendition of “You’re Not Special Anymore” and a rousing “You’re just a shit Pochettino”.
Long is on for Djenepo with Redmond moving to the left-wing and he gives us a bit of physical presence upfront which we haven’t had up until this point getting up and flicking a ball over to Redmond on the left he drives at goal and wins a corner. JWP’s corner for once is not straight at Gazzaniga and Long meets it at the back post but heads it narrowly wide. It’s a shame because that would give us a bit of breathing space but as it is our lot as Southampton fans, we have to suffer in pain and anguish until the very last bastard second. Eventually, after 6 minutes of the addition 5 signalled, even Mike Dean wants to confirm that we’ve won and blows his whistle. The ground is rocking and we deserved that. Oh, when the SAINTS go marching in!!! Brilliant.
What a win that is. Having scored in 17th minute, you could’ve probably got about 500-1 on Saints keeping a clean sheet and winning that game 1-0. We are suddenly made of sterner stuff than we used to be just a few months ago when we would have undoubtedly drawn or lost.
There is more good play from Saints as we work the ball via Hojbjerg out to Djenepo and he weaves into the box and lays it off for Bertrand to cross. In it comes and there’s Toby Alderweireld, waving his hands about his head and the ball hits his forearm and bounces down allowing Spurs to clear. Clear penalty - it has to be. No whistle from mike though. Eventually, play stops and we get a VAR check but we’ve got the problem that Mike blind bastard Dean didn’t give the penalty in the first place so VAR is highly unlikely to overrule. Despite arms not being in and a natural position and having broken the silhouette and all that shit and the ball clearly hitting his arm, it is no penalty which is absolutely fucking bollocks. He’s basically charged it down. Even Dele is appealing. Might as well cancel the handball rule for defenders if that's not a penalty.
Spurs get a free-kick about 30 yards out when JWP takes one for the team and trips Lo Celso. Ericksen’s chipped free-kick is knocked in by Harry Kane who is immediately flagged offside but he’s done a hamstring in the process and has to go off. An incredibly lengthy VAR check which has everyone believing that the goal is going to be allowed, eventually proves that Kane was offside and so we are still 1-0 up.
Almost out of nowhere, Mourinho decides that he’s fed up not being the centre of attention and wanders over to the seats behind our technical area and gets himself booked for having an argument with someone who no doubt repeated the crowd mantra of ‘Fuck Off Mourinho’. It does prompt a rendition of “You’re Not Special Anymore” and a rousing “You’re just a shit Pochettino”.
Long is on for Djenepo with Redmond moving to the left-wing and he gives us a bit of physical presence upfront which we haven’t had up until this point getting up and flicking a ball over to Redmond on the left he drives at goal and wins a corner. JWP’s corner for once is not straight at Gazzaniga and Long meets it at the back post but heads it narrowly wide. It’s a shame because that would give us a bit of breathing space but as it is our lot as Southampton fans, we have to suffer in pain and anguish until the very last bastard second. Eventually, after 6 minutes of the addition 5 signalled, even Mike Dean wants to confirm that we’ve won and blows his whistle. The ground is rocking and we deserved that. Oh, when the SAINTS go marching in!!! Brilliant.
What a win that is. Having scored in 17th minute, you could’ve probably got about 500-1 on Saints keeping a clean sheet and winning that game 1-0. We are suddenly made of sterner stuff than we used to be just a few months ago when we would have undoubtedly drawn or lost.
The team worked remarkably hard to keep Spurs at arms-length and I can only really remember one header that McCarthy saved in the second half. Other than that, there were a couple of deflections that pinged around but we held out relatively comfortably and deserved the win. It was a game of relatively few clear-cut chances and we certainly weren’t great going forward but it matters little as we got the job done and our first clean sheet at home for what feels like about three years.
The whole back four were excellent again, in particular, the two central defenders. Jack Stephens had another excellent game and Jan Bednarek wasn’t far behind him. Cedric was as good as Cedric is ever going to be and Ryan Bertrand certainly looks like he’s enjoying his football at the moment. In front of them, Captain Hojbjerg and JWP were absolutely tireless, stopping Spurs building up any head of steam through the midfield. Sissoko for Spurs was a bit of a handful today when he got forward and a couple of times he knocked players out the way with his powerful running but look at what JWP did to him in the last 10 minutes when he absolutely trashed him in a 50-50 and left the much bigger and heavier Sissoko in a heap on the floor. That, in a nutshell, is what has changed about this team since the Leicester fiasco. We are not soft any more and we aren’t easy to play against.
We weren’t brilliant upfront apart from the goal. Redmond had one of those games where is head was down to often and he continually lost the ball and this is something that Obafemi carried on when he came on for Ings late on. Djenepo was a bit frustrating out on the left-wing though Spurs were aware of the danger he posed and closed him down pretty quickly with two men. On the other side, Armstrong looked to be blowing out of his arse from the start of the second half onwards but had another good game. Upfront, I thought Shane Long was excellent when he came on, in a game that really suited him and what more can you say about Danny Ings, King of the Scummers? It’s an absolutely brilliant goal and the fact that he sent Toby Alderweireld sliding out of the stadium for a hot dog just before he scored was the icing on the cake. It’s not just the goal though, it is the defending from the front. How many times did he block Vertonghen clearing the ball up the pitch?
Spurs were odd. Dele Alli is an absolute fucking disgrace. On reflection, there was the slightest touch by Stephens but not enough to send him down. The introduction of VAR means that players like him will be looking to go down even more than they did already because we are still not booking people for diving. Two horrible dives in the first half, one under minimal contact and one under no contact and then he spent about three or four minutes appealing, running around after Mike Dean with his arms out, pleading I assume for a VAR review. Embarrassing and grow up you silly little twat. Mind you, he might be onto something appealing to Mike Dean, who was absolutely atrocious throughout. The foul count was 21-6, yet Spurs manage to have four players booked which suggest the Dean was only refereeing one way. Basically, it had to be a pretty bad foul for it to be given against Spurs whereas any time there was any sort of tangle that could’ve been given either way, it went to Spurs, every fucking time.
One of the Spurs bookings was, of course, José Mourinho who got involved in a spat with Andrew Sparkes, our goalkeeping coach. This and his subsequent interview where he called Sparks an idiot is classic José deflection to deflect attention away from the fact that his team were absolutely shit. Pundits are now talking about Jose being a nutter (which everyone knows anyway) rather than looking at his shortcomings.
Ralph watches on as Mike beats Jose in the "Biggest Twat" Competition
It is an absolutely brilliant win for Saints and for Ralph and ridiculously, as I left the ground we were 11th in the league and above Arsenal. What the fuck is going on here? It is interesting though to see teams who were at the bottom of the league all season like ourselves, Norwich and Watford all showing signs of life whereas the likes of Newcastle and Bournemouth are free-falling towards the bottom three. I did see a funny comment from a Bournemouth fan who said that in the event of them getting relegated, all they will have to show for their years in the Premier League is a shit squad and new electronic turnstiles on the Dean Court shed that they play in.
We march on, as the marketing slogan goes and on to a home FA Cup tie against Huddersfield on Saturday. I’m expecting to see the likes of Vestergaard, Yoshida, Gunn and Romeo all playing as we should surely have enough to get past the struggling Championship side. It’ll be nice to watch a game without much pressure.
All Hail the King of the Scummers!
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