FA Cup 4th Round - Southampton 1 Tottenham 1

Danny is very Grateful

Time for the FA Cup fourth round against Tottenham and their renowned trophy hunting manager, José Mourinho. I guess the big question is about how we will approach this game. Will we make 10 or 11 changes like we did last time in the Cup or are we serious about trying to have a decent run? If Middlesbrough got through the replay against Tottenham then I’m sure we would’ve seen 10 changes and have been realistically confident of winning the game anyway but of course, Spurs getting through makes it slightly different. The strength of the team that we put out in the FA Cup depends largely on league position. When we are in the midst of a relegation battle, then in the past, we have basically sacked off the FA Cup and not bothered. A 5-0 home defeat to Tottenham’s North London friends and neighbours at Arsenal sticks in the memory. Following the win against Palace though, we have 31 points and realistically I’m not going to be anywhere near the bottom of the league so I am anticipating three or four changes but not too many.

Make no mistake though, Jose will be absolutely desperate to win this game as this is his last chance of silverware this season if you rule out a Champions League triumph. If he wins anything silver coloured as Spurs manager then he will have eclipsed almost every manager that they have had in the last 20 years in the important regard of actually putting trophies in the cabinet..  Their last trophy was a League Cup in 2008 and there have only been two other trophies in the past 30 years, a League Cup in 1999 and their last FA Cup win which was in 1991.  For a club of their size it’s a pretty woeful record. 

So, Mourinho will be after a trophy - that is the way he thinks and I like that about him. He will only be celebrating finishing in the top 4 because it gives him an opportunity to win the Champions League the following season, not seeing the top 4 as some sort of trophy which a lot of managers are guilty of, including Mauricio Pochettino. Sure, he got to the Champions League final but at the end of the day they didn’t win it.  It’s obvious but it’s true.

In Ralph’s pre-match press conference it became clear that Cedric will be missing and it appears that Shane Long and Jannik Vestergaard will be missing as well. In a bizarre twist, Vestergaard has been quite heavily linked with a move to Champions League chasing Leicester City which, bearing in mind he was one of the main culprits in the 9-0 and he has hardly played since, is fucking bizarre to say the least. Personally, I have no problem with Vestergaard in terms of attitude or effort and in a team playing a deep defence with no space behind it, he could be a decent player but him playing for a high pressing side is going to be a disaster against anyone who has pace and puts the ball in behind him. Leicester do tend to sit deep and defended the edge of the penalty area so he may well be a good fit for them. This illustrates one of the problems I’ve had with Saints recruitment over the past few years in that we have had no clear philosophy about how we play so we have ended up signing a collection of players who do not fit into the style that the manager is now currently playing.

Spurs lost Harry Kane in the New Year’s Day fixture at St.Mary’s and he will be missing today, returning just before the European Championships where he will get selected every match and play even though he is and a half fit (put your money on it folks). They might not have Kane but they have Son Heung Min who is taking a break from breaking legs and kicking blokes in the chest to actually play some football. He’s actually quite good at it when he’s not being a dick.  Lucas Moura has been giving them some pace and tenacity in recent weeks and Christian Eriksen is still there and even though he is likely to move in the next couple of weeks, Mourinho will think nothing of playing him in the FA Cup. Make no mistake, this is still a decent Spurs squad but as with the league game, the defence can be got at, containing as it does, the train wreck that is Serge Aurier and the ageing and going downhill Jan Vertonghen. They are made stronger by the return of Hugo Lloris which means that the Gazzaniga Timebomb will be on the bench.  Rumour has it that Dele Alli is still appealing for a penalty from New Years Day.

One of the things I’m looking forward to today is to see if the famed ticket upload to my season-ticket card actually works. Every time this has been tried in the past I’ve ended up getting rejected as I’ve tried to go through the turnstile and having to be let in via some side door or other.... and we’re in with no problems and the team news is decent.  Cedric is replaced with Danso and Ings and Bednarek are back.  Basically, with the exception of Gunn coming back in for McCarthy, this is the line-up that would play in a Premier League game.  Spurs have the whole of the Northam End which is a bit annoying but their version of "Oh When the Saints" is easily drowned out.

Spurs tactics become obvious straight away and they are to sit deep and then attack at pace.  The ball zips about between Lo Celso, Moura, Alli and Son with Alli playing a cute ball behind Danso to Son who drills across Gunn and wide.  Should have scored really.

Our press is beaten by a long ball forwards from Alderweireld which picks out Moura and he breaks into the penalty area before falling over.  Stephens pokes the ball away and Lo Celso drills it low and it seems to go through Gunn on its way into the net.  Shit.  It looks like it’s going to be 1-0 but the referee bizarrely, is telling the lino that it is offside because someone is directly in front of the goalkeeper. The linesman somewhat sheepishly raises his flag and we have to go through the pain of a VAR check before it is confirmed that the goal was offside.  As it turns out, Son is stood right in front of Gunn and it actually hits him.

More Spurs attacking as Alli breaks through the middle and lays it to Moura who looks like he has to score but a shot brushes of the studs of Gunn and goes wide for a corner.  Again, he really should have scored but that’s a really good save.  As an attacking force we’ve done nothing so far but we win a free kick out on the right and JWP spots Ings having a dart and picks him out superbly.  The King of the Scummers chests it past the flapping Lloris and hooks it goalwards, only to see Tanganga get back and head it off the line.

The game gets more even has the half goes on and we threaten again (a bit) from a  free-kick when JWP optimistically has a pop and it’s straight at the keeper and barely worth mentioning really.  Just before half time, Armstrong pulls up and is replaced with Djenepo.

We’ve been our own worst enemies in that half to be honest – allowing Spurs to break time and time again and us get caught short handed at the back from just one pass which takes out both Pierre and JWP.  One of those two needs to play deeper or else we need Romeu to come on which why I’m a bit surprised at the substitution.

Half time and it’s time to reflect on the ‘FA Cup Supporter Bell-End’.  This is someone who turns up ten minutes into the game, with no idea of where their seat is and has no awareness of anyone else around them as they generally piss around for another five minutes standing in the way.  38 minutes gone and they’re off for a piss or a pint and then want to come back in just as the half time whistle goes and everyone else is heading the other way.  Alternatively, they come back 10 minutes into the second half.  Just fuck off mate.

Back on the pitch, Spurs get a free kick on the left hand side at the start of the second half, right on the edge of the party area. The goal looks fucking huge is Lucas Moura steps up but he does exactly the same as what JWP did on the first half and just put it straight into the midriff of goalkeeper.

There’s a big YEAAAAAAAAAAAA-NOOOOOOOO! moment from our next attack as Hojbjerg puts Obafemi away on the right hand side and his cut-back is met by Ings in front of the near post and it gets almost a perfect angle on it but it runs agonisingly wide of the far post with Lloris waving it goodbye.  Ings has another sniff straight afterwards as Hojbjerg attempts his 326^th shot of the season which bounces through the defence and the King of the Scummers swings a boot but can’t get a touch.

Lo Celso, who has looked considerably better than he did in the League game, runs out of defence with a superbly down the right hand side past JWP, Djenepo and Bertrand. He feeds Moura who plays it out to Son who is completely unmarked because Dele Alli has managed to clatter Danso to the deck. Son takes it on and scores across Gunn just a bit too easily. VAR is looking at offside which it certainly isn’t and it allegedly looked at the foul by Alli but unsurprisingly decides that there isn’t one and so Spurs are 1-0 up.  Shit.  It’s nearly 2-0 straight afterwards as Lo Celso superbly chips over the defence and Son volleys over the bar.

Ings tries to ball juggle it into the box and Tanganga comes across in clears it with his elbow which he has moved towards the ball. The trouble is that there is not much in the way of an appeal from any of our players aside from Ings.  That shouldn’t really matter these days as VAR should look at it but VAR doesn’t look at it so the lesson we learned from that is that we must also surround the fucking referee until we get a review.  It’s not working for Danny today and he shoots from the top of the penalty area on the left and puts it across the face and just wide.

Ralph is going for it.  Danso is off for Boufal and so we are playing three at the back with Djenepo and Redmond as wing backs.  Che Adams comes on in place of Obafemi and it’s not happening as with 10 minutes to go, Redmond gets down the right hand side and skins the fallback and picks out Danny Ings in acres but it’s still not his day and he heads wide.  Has to score that….

85, 86 and we’re camped in their half but it’s not really looking like happening until the Shit footballer Gods come up trumps again as Aurier pisses about on the ball and loses it to Hojbjerg who feeds Ings and Ings roll;s it across the top of the penalty area and there is Sofiane Boufal to rifle it into the roof of the net.  1-1 and no one wants a draw… come on we can win this!

Nope! Neither can they and it ends 1-1

And so, a fair result in what was a ridiculously open free-flowing game. Very entertaining for the neutral and the neutral is any twat that bought a half and half scarf from outside the ground on the way in. Spurs probably shaded the first half, creating the better chances as we repeatedly got caught on the break but in the second half after they had scored, it was just a case of whether we would find the final pass or the finish. Eventually we did of course and we deserved to. Ralph rolled the dice when he could see that nothing much was happening and we ended up basically with five forwards on the pitch so it was good that his bravery was rewarded.

Here is today’s VAR moan. As a part-time referee, I was instructed at the start of the season that if the ball hits the defenders arm and his arm is in an unnatural position, as in it has broken the silhouette then it is a penalty regardless of whether he meant it or not. That rule clearly doesn’t apply to Tottenham because now in both games against them at home this season, there have been cases where a defender with his arms flailing around all over the place, has handled the ball and neither penalty has been given. Today’s effort by Tanganga was not as bad as Alderweireld’s against us in the league game but technically, by the rules which we have been led to believe everyone is following, that should’ve been a penalty today. Actually, it’s not even a VAR issue because it didn’t even fucking review it.

Danso proved today what complete folly it would be to emerge from this transfer window with no other option at right back. He was painfully bad after the first five minutes and with Yan Valery seemingly still out of the picture and Cedric injured for another few weeks, for anyone to pretend that we don’t need another right back is ridiculous. It’s even worse on the left hand side where Ryan Bertrand is still the only real option. We lost Stuart Armstrong today and as I write, no one really knows how long he is going to be out for but for our next league game against Liverpool, you would think that Ralph will be reluctant to throw in Boufal or Djenepo so it may well be Romeu who comes in with JWP moving wide but then who plays at right back?

Talking of our wingers, it was good to see Boufal get a goal today and he certainly livened things up when he came on. Djenepo didn’t really do much and looked like he was running at half pace which was a bit odd. There was another cameo by Charlie Austin Adams which was a complete waste of time, with the highlight being JWP having to tell him to close down the goalkeeper.  Honestly, if Leeds want to buy him for £20 million now, I would sell. There is no point in loaning him out but if I offer us £20 million now and we can spend it on bringing in a replacement next week then I would be interested. This is not something I am basing on just 10 minutes today but the guy just doesn’t seem to fit the way Ralph wants to play football. He’s our fourth choice striker at the moment behind Ings, Long and Obafemi which is not what you would expect from a striker who we paid big money for in relative terms.

The man he was supposed to partner of the season, Danny Ings had a brilliant game in all bar finishing. He finally set up Boufal’s goal but not before missing about three presentable chances that he would have expected to score. He was very unlucky in the first half when his beer quick thinking resulted in his shot being cleared off the line but he will be disappointed with the header that he missed the second half.

Angus Gunn had a mixed game in goal looking very nervous in the first half but much more positive in the second. A couple of times he was very slow off his line but I guess to be expected as he hasn’t played for a while. Jack Stephens had another good game but Bednarek was a bit wobbly in the second half in particular, miscuing quite a few clearances. I thought Hojbjerg and JWP were excellent and the central midfield again and Obafemi put in a decent shift that front.  It was nice and Redmond continue the form he showed in the Palace game, constantly tormenting whatever full back he was up against. He still needs to work at it but someone has obviously had a word with him about getting his head up sooner and if he continues to do that then his end product, be it scoring goals himself or setting them up for others, will only improve.

Dele is a Dickhead - Again

As for Spurs well Dele Alli was still a massive bell end. There was an innocuous foul not given to Spurs in the first half and he did his arms out palms up appeal again which he has only just stopped doing after the New Year’s Day game down here. Son was a threat throughout and deserved his goal. The new lad, Gedson Fernandes looks exactly the type of player that Ndombele is so I’m not sure why they’ve got him in. Jose Mourinho managed to not get booked this time round and no matter how much he complains about fixture congestion or any other shit, he will be relieved to still be in with a chance of winning this trophy.

Fair play to Jose and Ralph for putting out full strength sides, so we could have a proper cup tie.  A refreshing attitude from both managers, especially when compared to certain others.  A draw is a result that no one really wanted but I fancy us to make a better job of it at the Tottenham Hotspur stadium than we did here today. Spurs stadium hold 62,000 people so no doubt we will take an allocation of about 800 and the club will sell out and mark this is achievement with a celebratory tweet.

PS…. Home to Norwich in the 5^th Round if we get through.  We got drawn out in the second to last game and the three balls left were Norwich, Pompey and Bournemouth/Arsenal.  As it was ex-Skate Sheringham drawing the away teams, it would have been funny but not to be.  Skates are at home to Arsenal who predictably saw off Bournemouth.

Spurs have given us roughly the same number of tickets as we gave them.  As a percentage of the capacity, it is of course a lot less…. And we charged them a tenner a pop whereas they’re charging us £25.  Wankers.

Premier League Match 24 - Crystal Palace 0 Southampton 2

Guess Who's Back in Form

A short turnaround and off we go to Selhurst Park to play Crystal Palace. This, in my opinion, is the ideal game to have after the disappointment of the Wolves game at the weekend. Palace I’ve got one player he can do something brilliant but other than that they are a journeyman side and if we play like we have been playing in away games, recently, then I fully expect us to come away with something.

When they came to St Mary‘s a few weeks ago, Palace were a massive team of bell-ends. They obviously fancy themselves as hard men and when they don’t get things their own way they do tend to throw their toys around a lot and you have to rely on the referee being decent enough to deal with it but of course, most of them aren’t. Today we have Andre Marriner who is one of the referees with a bit of a reputation so it will be interesting to see how he handles the inevitable when it happens later on.

Palace have been hanging around the top half of the table for most of the season which is a bit of a mystery because they are not very good. They still haven’t got a striker who scores any goals and basically have one tactic which is getting the ball to Wilf. They have signed Cenk Tosun on-loan from Everton and he scored at the weekend but he is not the type of striker who will put the fear of God into our defence. Our defence may be reshuffled a bit tonight because Ralph has revealed that Jan Bednarek will not be playing because of an injury picked up against Wolves. I guess it will be one of Yoshida or Vestergaard and bearing in mind that the big man was on the bench on Saturday and Yoshida wasn’t, I’m expecting it to be Vestergaard, especially as Palace do not have a lot of pace upfront.

In the event, our team shows two changes with Vestergaard and Obafemi coming into the side with Danny Ings dropping to the bench. If they play well, a forward line of Long and Obafemi has the pace to cause massive problems to the Palace center-backs, Tomkins and Cahill. Martin Kelly is at right-back and hopefully, he can provide us with another assist like he did at St Mary‘s.

The first action of note is the Palace left-back Reidowald piling in on Cedric. He got a little bit of the ball and a lot of the man. It’s the sort of challenge that referees are supposed to clamp down on these days but Andre Marriner decides not to bother. We take the throw, lose the ball and Palace break but Zaha’s crossfield pass is cut out by Vestergaard who then makes a complete fuck of it by getting tackled by Ayew.  The ball falls to Tosun who runs unopposed to about 15 yards out where with a bit of composure he must score but thankfully, Everton have loaned him out for a reason and that reason is that he is complete gash – and he hits a shot at the moon.  What the fuck was that?

Cedric can’t carry on from the challenge which Andre Marriner thought was okay and he’s off to be replaced by Oriol Romeu who goes into the centre of midfield with JWP going to right-back where he is in direct competition with King Bell-End himself, Wilfried Zaha.  It’s amusing because JWP is, of course, living rent-free in Zaha’s head.

On we go and Jack Stephens brings the ball forward to the halfway line and chips the ball into Redmond’s feet.  Redmond twists Kelly inside out and before Tomkins and McArthur can get anywhere near, he lashes it with his right foot across the keeper and arrowing into the top corner. Absolutely brilliant goal.

Saints are playing really well, breaking up every Palace attack and springing on them on the break every time. Redmond put Bertrand away down the left and his cross is met by Armstrong who flicks at goalwards but Guaita easily pushes it over the bar. We work another chance from the corner as Redmond runs across the top of the penalty area, gets clattered late by Tomkins with the ball going to Armstrong who lines up another shot that flies all the way along the ground but just wide. Andre Marriner decides not to come back for the late challenge by Tomkins because that sort of thing is okay today apparently.

There is a Palace attack down our left where Zaha does get the better of everybody and gets the ball into the box but Vestergaard slides in well to clear the danger.  He seems to have recovered well from his early aberration. We eventually clear it and we are away on the break again with Redmond down the left. Redmond cuts infield again and plays a straight ball for Shane Long’s run and he gets there before the keeper but miraculously, doesn’t dive and just runs the ball out of play.  I’m sure that Zaha would’ve stayed on his feet like that at the other end so it’s fair enough.

Half time and as the players are leaving the pitch, Zaha is arguing with Vestergaard and JWP and he clearly sticks his hand in JWP is face and it looks like he poked him in the eye. JWP doesn’t make a meal of it and the Palace stewards are on the pitch to try and stop Zaha being a complete prick. As the players leave the pitch, the incident is reviewed by VAR and whatever fucking idiot is watching it away from the ground decides that aggressively putting your hand in someone’s face is not a red card offence, which according to the rules, it clearly is. Another example of VAR being a complete fucking joke.

To be honest, we’ve been brilliant so far and the loss of Cedric and the reshuffle has not affected us at all. Romeu is playing at a faster pace than I think I have ever seen him play out before and we look like a really good team. Palace on the other hand, look shite with one tactic of getting the ball to Wilf not working because Wilf has lost his shit completely.

Palace have the first attack of the second half but Tosun heads a half chance towards the corner flag and we build again down our left with Bertrand and Obafemi linking with Redmond who drifts past a couple of players and lays the ball infield to Armstrong who gets it out of his feet with his first touch and with his second, smashes it with his right foot, curling it away from Guaita and into the net to give us a 2-0 lead. His hair is fine and he scores worldies all the time (as the song goes) and this is another superb goal.

Scoring Worldies All the Time

We are on a mission to get Zaha sent off again and we are winding him up more and more. Every time he goes back into his own half, which is not often because he’s a lazy fucker when his team has not got the ball, one of us always leaves something on him. It’s never that bad but he always ends up sitting on his arse and waving his arms around in wild-eyed petulance and it’s beautiful to see.

Saints are still playing all the football and Stephens marauds forward before giving the ball away but all that does is give us a chance to win it back which we do through Hojbjerg and Long and it breaks to Obafemi who plays a simple but superb pass through to Shane Long who literally has the goalkeeper to beat from roughly the penalty spot. The Palace keeper is basically given it up and Shane just passes it to him. I assumed it must be offside and he was just giving the fucking ball back but no, it is that bad.

Tomkins is proving himself to be almost as big an arsehole as Zaha as again he clatters Redmond and Andre Marriner does absolutely fuck all. There is a bit of a flare-up between the two players and Redmond taps him on the back of the neck which is enough to get booked which is fucking ridiculous when compared to Zaha’s half-time incident.

More great play from Hojbjerg sess Redmond run to the left force Guaita into making another save and our pursuit of the third goal goes on, so Shane is off and Danny Ings is his replacement. Palace’s idea of improving things is to take Tosun off and replace him with Connor Wickham who is and has always been shit. He looks more dangerous than Tosun though but his wild left-footed effort flies into the crowd.

With 10 minutes to go, Obafemi goes off to be replaced by our £15 million fourth-choice striker, Che Adams.  We have a chance on the break to make it three but Ings smashes a shot over the bar but it’s academic and we run out easy 2-0 winners. A brilliant night's work and right up there in the list of most dominant away Premier League performances but I can remember us putting in.

That was absolutely magnificent. There was only one team out there all game and Palace honestly couldn’t have complained if we had won about 5-0. We were so much better than them it wasn’t true. All the players were pretty immaculate today, especially McCarthy whose kit was unblemished from when the game started. Vestergaard had the best game I have ever seen him have apart from his one mistake in the first half which admittedly was a bit of a calamity. Every time the ball went in the air, which was frequently, then there was the big man to hide it away. Today he did actually time everything correctly and got off the ground and Palace didn’t get any joy from that tactic which basically left them with getting the ball out to Wilf.

JWP and a Dickhead

It was a delicious irony when Cedric went off and JWP had to play at right-back in direct opposition to Zaha. Of course, the Saints man got beaten a couple of times but I doubt there are many right-backs who have handled Zaha better than JWP. Zaha is a fucking wanker. He was like it when we played them in the championship in 2011 and 2012 and nine years later he is still like it.

Here are some quotes from this blog in 2012:

Zaha has managed about 60 minutes without being a complete cock so it’s not a surprise when as the tackles start flying from Chappers.  Zaha decides to steam over to Corky, dives in, comes out without the ball and then shoves him over earning an inevitable yellow card.

Palace make a tactical switch with the Zaha coming over to the right as he’s thrown so many toys out of his pram on the left, there wasn’t enough room to play football anymore. 

And from 2011:

Wilfried Zaha is another Palace player with a bit of a reputation but if he’s not careful, he’ll get a reputation for being a knob.  Danny Fox tries to dribble round him and kind of screws it up and just runs into him and gives the ball away before having a little tap at his ankles.  Zaha gets the red mist, turns round and shoves him in the neck.  To be fair to the ref, he’s obviously seen Foxy’s kick as he gets a yellow card for it and fair enough.  He then however decides to ignore the rule about raising your hands to an opponent though and Zaha doesn’t even get spoken to.

The incident has got to Zaha though as he spends the rest of the first half throwing his arms around as a succession of decisions don’t go his way. 

So, 8 or 9 years and he hasn’t learned.  Zaha was about 18 or 19 when these games happened – he’s now 27 and a grown man and it’s fucking embarrassing. There’s a reason why his career is disappearing into a vortex of nothing at Crystal Palace. He has the ability to play for a top club but his temperament is fucking dreadful. Any decent manager at the top six club would’ve substituted him at half-time but because Palace have absolutely nothing else and Hodgson is pretty weak, they leave him on and run the risk of him getting sent off. Not that there was much risk of him getting sent off today with a combination of Andre Marriner and the VAR fuckwits. Everyone saw the pictures at half-time where Zaha looks like he poked JWP in the eye and even if he didn’t poke him in the eye, his hand was on his face which is a red card offence. As said, VAR looked at it and decided that it wasn’t a red card offence so they have changed the fucking rules there.  Nothing will happen of course because it will be admitting that their precious VAR system is a fucking joke but the FA should review that and Zaha should get a ban. As far as Saints are concerned it really doesn’t matter much because it will only benefit the team is the Palace are playing next but the fucking dickhead deserves to be sat on his arse for three games. Put it this way Wilf, we had a makeshift right-back for 70 minutes and you did fuck all because you’ve got yourself in a right little tantrum.

Elsewhere, we had magnificent performances all over the pitch, Stephens, Bertrand, Redmond, Armstrong, Hojbjerg. Up front as predicted, Long and Obafemi ran them ragged. If Shane Long had any ability in front of goal he would be a £20 million striker but the miss in the second half is one of the worst misses you will ever see from a Premier League striker.

Ralph deserves a huge amount of credit because he rolled the dice today with a couple of changes and then had to make another one when Cedric got injured early on and the team stuck completely to the game plan and were superb from minute one minute 95. We are always nervous because we are Southampton but that was as comfortable as it gets. Palace didn’t have a shot on target, nor win a corner.

As regular readers will know, I’m not that arsed about looking at league but I’m going to do it today because we are 9th, 3 points off Man United in 5th and 8 points ahead of Bournemouth in the last relegation spot. Awesome.

Four away wins in the bounce - who’s next? Liverpool .... shit!

Before that though, it’s Spurs at home in the Cup.  Bring it on.

Premier League Match 23 - Southampton 2 Wolves 3

And it Was All Going So Well

Today’s test of our upward mobility is Wolverhampton Wanderers visiting St Mary’s. A month ago we would’ve been expecting nothing but a battering in this game but a lot has changed in the last month. Put simply, Wolves are not playing as well as they were earlier on in the season, which is not a surprise given the amount of games that they have played and a win for the mighty Southampton today will put us a level on points with them.

Regardless of points tallies, Wolves are one of the better sides of the division and will finish comfortably in the top half and it wouldn’t surprise me if they go very close to winning the Europa League. The whole “every player recruited through the same agent“ thing makes me feel a bit uneasy but if you forget all that and just look at what they have on the pitch, they are a very good side. They were a very good side last year though when they turned up at St Mary‘s and we beat them 3-1 and relatively comfortably so. Last year we put their defence under pressure and they couldn’t handle it and there is no way we are not going to do that today given the way we have played the last few weeks. The goalscorers from last year, Willy Boly is out with a broken leg and they picked up another injury in midweek when they not only got knocked out of the FA Cup by Manchester United, they lost Adama Traore to an injury. I never wish injury on any player but I hope he is missing today.

The manager Nuno Espirito Santo is quite often linked with the bigger clubs though there are none have come calling as yet. If he carries on as he is doing so with Wolves then it is only a matter of time. Ralph’s press conference this week give us a clean bill of health so I am expecting the same 11 that started last week at Leicester.

The silly season in the transfer window is well underway and it is very very boring. The Che Adams to Leeds shite, which was never ever going to happen, didn’t happen which was a major shock considering “we had allegedly given Leeds encouragement“. Complete and utter shit. I recommend for your personal sanity that you block any social media accounts for any outlets who suggested there were any facts involved in this.

Cedric, my favourite boy band member, gave an interview to the Daily Echo where he basically tried to rectify his last interview where he said he was leaving no matter what. It looks to me like he may be getting his ducks in a row to change his mind in the hope of getting a new contract. It is interesting to note that Ralph gave an interview last week where he basically commented on how Cedric has improved, simply by being a more active defender. I guess he means actually putting tackles in and actually closing down the person who is about to cross the ball. The Cedric interview was quite a decent interview in the Daily Echo which is nice for them, rather than reporting on the ex-players passing away before they were actually dead. As I write, George O’Brien still very much alive.

Social media has recently given us daily reminders of the shambles that has been our recruitment for the last three years. Elyounoussi is now fit again to play for Celtic, Carrillo has scored a couple of goals for whatever third-rate team he’s playing for now and Mario Lemina is Instagram modelling what looks like a onesie designed for an eight-year-old girl. I really hope that Galatasaray are stupid enough to sign him permanently. These on -loan players make me think that we should give new one year contract to Shane Long and Maya Yoshida because at least you can trust those players.  They might not be the best but they offer a damn site more than those clowns out on loan. Why only one year? Well in Shane’s case, he is 32 years old and has a game that relies solely on his pace. There is going to come to a point where he loses that pace so, in my opinion, you can only really risk it one year at a time. For Maya, we need to bump it on down the line a year so we can sort out what we are doing with Vestergaard, Hoedt and Danso.

Team news and we are indeed unchanged and rumours of Traore’s demise were greatly exaggerated as he is in the Wolves line-up and has lined up against Cedric on our right flank.  He looks like an American footballer with the pads sewn under his shirt and the thought of him up against Harry Styles is a bit of a worry.

Away we go and it’s a bit of a nondescript ten minutes but we haven’t really started fast but then we got a free-kick in what looked like a pretty non-descript area of the pitch on the right-hand side. JWP swung it over and it didn’t even look like a particularly good free-kick but everyone missed it and there was Bednarek at the back post to hook it first time over Patricio and into the far corner of the net. A bit bizarre I’m not sure how much Bednarek meant it but 1-0 up and we will take it thank you very much.

Straight afterwards we break away down the left hand side with Redmond turning Neves inside and out 14 different times before eventually making a yard and getting the cross over which bounced in the middle of the penalty area and was met by diving Cedric at the back post but he put his header straight at Patricio and Wolves breathed again. On second viewing Cedric would probably be better off leaving it to Hojbjerg who was shaping up the volley but it would probably have ended up in Row Z anyway. Nice to see Redmond beat a player and get a good ball into the box off of his left foot.

We have a slight let off when we give the ball away on our left-hand side and Neto curls over a superb cross which is met by Jimenez on the stretch but he can only poke it wide.

And then came a moment which tells you that football is a very strange game at times with Cedric picking up the ball in midfield, knocking it to Stephens who fed Armstrong in on the right.  He slid to keep it in play and knock down the line for Cedric who for once, put over an absolutely phenomenal cross which was met by Shane Long darting in between two players to plant a header into the net. Absolutely fucking brilliant goal. It’s a great cross and an absolutely brilliant bit of movement by Long who left Dendoncker behind and flicked the ball past Patricio who has absolutely no chance.  I tell you what – it’s a shame we’ve given Liverpool such a start in the race for the title.

Half time, 2-0 up.  Not sure it is 100% deserved but we’ll take it.  Got to keep going and get the next goal and kill it off.  As the teams comes out and line up, it looks like Wolves have struck Traore right up front through the middle.  A big test to see if our center-backs keep on the front foot or if they start retreating.

The second half starts with Redmond lining up Dendonker on the left-hand side and he totally does him down the line before standing up a superb cross to the back post. Long has an unchallenged header and heads it down but it flicks off the outside of the post and goes wide. It’s not an easy chance but Shane will feel that he should have scored. Having got away with that one, Patricio then takes a massive chance by fannying around with the ball on the 6-yard line and Danny Ings comes sliding in and very nearly gets a tackle in. Unfortunately, the ball goes wide and with Hojbjerg having collapsed with no one near him, Wolves break.  A long ball forward from Doherty and Jimenez knocked it off to Traore. It shouldn’t be a problem but for some reason, Bednarek tries to tackle him with his wrong foot and Traore skips away and feeds Neto who takes a touch and buries it for 2-1. We’ve been caught out horribly with too many players forward and Hojbjerg on the deck and our scramble defence is not good enough. As we used to do before we had this good run, we get bodies back there but don’t pick up the players and I’ll tell you one thing for nothing, unmarked space never scored a goal but an unmarked player quite often does.

As said, Wolves made a tactical switch at half-time and now the American Footballer is playing right up the middle and sadly, the ghost of Michael Antonio has come back to haunt us as he bulldozes through the midfield and knocks the ball of to Moutinho who tries to slide in Johnny who goes in between Cedric and Stephens and hit the deck.  The referee gives a corner and for a second I think we’ve got away with it but no, Wolves quickly surround the referee to make sure that this goes to VAR if it wasn’t already going to do so.  In the four minutes that elapse, the Wolves fans are chanting “fuck VAR“ at the top of their voices and when the performance is all over and the VAR goons have decided that it is a clear and obvious penalty and an error by the referee, the same Wolves fans all cheer. Up steps Jimenez and rolls into the net as easy as you like to bring the scores level.

Adams is on for Long and I bet there was a massive sigh of relief from the Wolves players.  With Armstrong coming off for Djenepo I'm wondering if Romeu might be more useful here.  JWP has been hampered by the early booking he got and Hojbjerg looks tired.  Still, you can't accuse Ralph of not being positive.

Back come Saints and Redmond picks up a Patricio rushed clearance and cuts in from the left-wing, skipping past a couple of players before unleashing a rasping drive which pings of the crossbar on its way over. A bit unlucky that.

Saints are trying to win it and Cedric sprays a great ball out of the left-wing to Redmond who tries to play, a 1-2 with Adams but Adams just passes it straight to Wolves player.  It’s cleared and we have left ourselves 2v2 at the back which looks like fucking madness. Traore bundles his way forward down the right-wing before getting his head up and rolls it back on the ground to Jimenez who scores easily to complete the comeback.  Fuck sake…. this has been on the cards ever since they got the first goal. Oh hang on, we’re going to VAR again to check for a possible handball. Our own fans chanting for VAR will never fail to boil my piss. For the idiots chanting that, it’s a small consolation when the goal is eventually given.

Redmond is off to be replaced by Boufal and it’s to the Moroccan that our last chance falls as a corner from JWP is missed by everybody and there is Sofiane at the back post and the man with the best technique at the club lashes it hopelessly over the bar from about 8 yards out.

Well fuck it. It has to be said that was a bit of a capitulation in the second half. In the second half Wolves did to us what we did to them in the first half when we hassled them out of their stride. The whole game turned on the fact that we didn’t score the third goal. We had Long header that the hit the post and we had Ings charging down the goalkeeper when the ball really could’ve rebound it into the net. Wolves breakaway thanks largely to Hojbjerg being injured in the middle of the field , 2-1, different game.

Where we were solid and compact in the first half, we were strung out and all over the fucking show in the second with our central defenders being troubled greatly by a quick muscular striker… again. When the teams lined up I was terrified at the prospect of Cedric tried to keep Traore quiet but he did a decent job and then they switched him out to the other wing and again he was ineffective. In the second half, they played him through the middle and our central defenders did exactly the same as they did against Michael Antonio of West Ham and basically shat themselves.

After last week’s game I said that we have to keep our feet on the ground and today certainly planted our feet firmly back on the ground. None of our defenders are perfect and if they were, they wouldn’t be playing for us and today they got showed up again in that they can be completely bullied out of it if they are faced with physical strikers. I feel that Ralph made a mistake in the second half and we could really have done with Romeo being out on the pitch. I thought the same at the time and this was especially proved with hindsight as neither Djenepo, Boufal or Adams added anything at all. Adams, in particular, looked very half-arsed and the pressing game at the front notably dropped away with him on.  Needless to say, the level of goal threat didn't increase either.  Ralph has dug out the substitutes before for not adding anything when they came on and today was another example.

"I'm in One Direction and VAR is fucking shite Ref"

I have to talk about VAR as all three of Wolves goals were only given after a VAR check. The penalty decision for the second goal took a ridiculous amount of time. The referee was looking straight at the incident with a clear uninterrupted view and didn’t give the penalty. VAR then took about four minutes to decide that it was a penalty so there must’ve been a massive element of doubt about the whole thing. There shouldn't have been because from one look on Match of the Day in the evening you can see it's a penalty.  I've heard some say that Johnny was on his way down before Cedric fouled him.  Don't see that myself but surely if there is an element of doubt then the on-field decision should not be changed. Four minutes to give that is complete bullshit.

For the third goal there was a handball in the build-up but I’m hearing that it was too far back in the move to be given and the goal disallowed. The whole move started because of a handball so how the fuck can that be deemed not relevant.  I'm also hearing that there were two passes following the handball so it's deemed as ok.  Again, complete bullshit. I am in favour of VAR but I am not in favour of the absolute bullshit way which the FA is managing it.  No one has a fucking clue how it's supposed to work. It’s a fucking joke and it needs to change.  For starters, they need to go with the on-field referees decision unless he has totally fucked up and even then, the referee needs to go to the pitch side and have a look at the reply for himself and not have the decision given by some fucking wanker sat miles away.

It’s a bit difficult to talk about the players individually as most of them were really good in the first half and then pretty poor and the second Cedric was especially good in the first half as was Shane Long and it was a bit of a surreal moment seeing Cedric put either a brilliant cross and Shane score with a really good header. Ryan Bertrand struggled throughout the game and virtually all of the others went down to his level in the second half when we were steamrollered.

There isn’t much time to dwell on this as we have another game on Tuesday night and it’ll be another tough one against Crystal Palace. Maybe the exertions of the Christmas period of taking their toll a little bit on some of our players and it wouldn’t surprise me if there are a couple of changes for Tuesday night as some of our guys seem to be running on empty in that second half. Everyone has to keep some perspective as it is only one defeat. Anyone who says that they wouldn’t have taken 28 points at this stage of the season is either an idiot or a liar. We will be back and bring on Selhurst on Tuesday.

Premier League Match 22 - Leicester 1 Southampton 2

Jack Goes Full Shithouse.... and We Love It!

Leicester away and I can’t remember how we got on the last time we played them. Can anyone in the media remember? Of course they can. I did like the way that the Saints media team tried to defuse it this week by poking fun at ourselves about blocking anything to do with “9” on social media accounts. It, of course, hasn’t stopped it being the first thing that anyone has mentioned regarding this game. To be fair, we can’t really complain that much. It is one of those things that is an inevitability and it will be for a years whenever Southampton and Leicester are mentioned in the same sentence. We could win this game today and do the double over them for the next three seasons and all anyone would want to talk about would be the 9-0 so we'd best get used to it.

So, as we can’t beat them, I’m going to join them and talk about it.  I saw an article this week which suggested that the Leicester game wasn’t rock bottom before we started to turn it around and that rock bottom came a few games later. I’m sorry but I'm not having that. Getting beat 9-0 tells you that whatever you’re doing is wrong and you need to radically change it. Sure, we may have a couple more setbacks along the way like we did at home to West Ham at home to Everton but trust me, Leicester at home in 2019 was the low.  People will not be talking about the narrow losses where we played shit in a years’ time.  The 9-0 is the stuff of legend and will be remembered for years.

Without it, we wouldn’t be where we are now because if we had just lost that game one or two-nil then the temptation would’ve been to think that nothing much was wrong but that told Ralph that everything was wrong.  My view is that the Leicester game told him he had to reset but with games coming thick and fast, it wasn't until the international break that he could really work on things, take a step back and clarify what he wanted to do.  In terms of players and working out which ones he trusted, it is interesting to note that five players who played that day have hardly played since in Vestergaard, Yoshida, Romeo, Gunn and Valery.

When they did beat us 9-0, I kind of thought that Leicester were quite respectful about the whole thing until Rat Bastard Vardy went mental at scoring the 9^th though his reaction was more to do with the goading he got about that pathetic bust-up between his wife and the vacuous Colleen Rooney. During the game itself, Jonny Evans apparently was urging his Leicester teammates on to break the record which is fair enough really. In the build-up to today’s game though, it becomes apparent that they are showing all nine goals on the big screens in the stadium, with the commentary, before the kickoff. If that doesn’t serve us extra motivation for our boys today then I don’t know what will.  It’s certainly a bit of a classless dick move from a club who have up until now, prided themselves on the respect and class that they show.

Maybe Playing This Was a Bit of a Dick Move Lads

Ralph‘s team is as we have come to expect over the last few weeks in away games - 4-4-2 with the usual goalkeeper and back four, the usual midfield three of Redmond, Hojbjerg and JWP, augmented on the right with Armstrong and the usual first-choice attack of Long and Ings.  Leicester have the same goalkeeper defence and midfield but they had against us at St Mary‘s but the midfield there shows a couple of changes with Tielemans and Ndidi missing, replaced by Choudhury and Praet.  Praet looks a bit lightweight to me and nowhere near as good as Tielemans and every time I'm seen Chaudhury play, he's just been very average with a liking for a late tackle.  The Leicester manager is of course the ever smug, big shiny set of teeth, Brendan Rodgers.  Still a bit of a dickhead but undoubtedly a very good manager.  I think he's even stopped saying 'great character' in post-match interviews now.

Away we go and Leicester try and play out with us pressing them as we do and after two minutes we’ve already run more and put in more than the three tackles we put in at St.Mary’s.  Barnes then shites himself as World Infamous hatchet man Cedric closes in and passes it 30 yards backwards, straight to Ings who bundles past the clumsy Soyuncu and in on goal, taking an extra touch to get it on his right foot and Schmeichel blocks well and the son of Red-Nosed United Foghorn Peter, blocks the shot from the rebound too.

Saints have settled well and are in the ascendancy when an attack breaks down and Bertrand tags Perez as Leicester break.  Perez takes it quickly over the top and Rat Bastard Vardy is away on the left.  He streaks away and crosses to back post and Praet has made up the ground and scores easily....arse.  Vardy looks offside but no review so I guess he must have been ok.  Bollocks.  We did the tactical foul bit to slow down the break but we forgot to delay the free-kick so they caught us out anyway.  1-0 in approximately 10 minutes so surely on for another 9-0?  Wrong.

Five minutes later and we are sticking to the plan despite being one down and a ball up to Ings which is controlled and given to Long out on the left.  He crosses and it’s left by JWP and Armstrong cuts in and shoots and sees it take a big nick off of Maddison and give Schmeichel no chance.  A deserved goal for the man with magnificent hair.

Jump in the Air If you Have Magnificent Hair

At 1-1 Saints are still the better side though we do have a slight alarm when a Hojbjerg clearance is blocked into Rat Bastard Vardy’s path and he puts it away but the flag is up and VAR quickly confirms this is correct.  As we approach half time, Bertrand crosses, Armstrong bins Maddison (because that’s what happens if you want the ball more) and it finds its way back to Armstrong via Cedric.  Over it comes low from the right and Ings gets in front of the donkey Soyuncu and bounces a shot into the ground and up and over Schmeichel but it flicks off the bar and is cleared for a corner.  Form the corner, Leicester don’t clear it and Ings shot is blocked out to Maddison who takes a shit touch and Ings launches into a snapshot which crashes out off of the bar which Schmeichel without a prayer.  Fuck sake.  Half time and a really good performance so far.  Maybe they’ll show the nine goals again at half time.

The second half starts with us having another great chance as Bertrand swings over a free-kick from the left and Schmeichel and Chilwell combine to get in each others way and totally miss the ball.  It’s kind of hits Stephens who isn’t expecting it and though it goes goalwards, Soyuncu can hack it away.

We have clearly rattled Leicester but not taken advantage yet and it’s comedy time as Ricardo takes a throw in an Choudhury manages to almost let it bounce over his head and can only head to Armstrong who puts Long through.  Shane is through and is this the moment the seasons' duck ends… no.... but he does get carthorsed over by Soyuncu and Lee Mason has actually given us a penalty.  Soyuncu is moaning – no idea why, you’ve just trashed him mate you flat-footed donkey.  Oh hang on… possible offside… well, it’s Shane isn't it so of course, it’s going to be offside.  JWP has the ball and is waiting for the pen but no, offside.  It’s one of those really tight ones where you see the image and the lines and can’t tell whose line is whose.  Bollocks.  No real injustice, just bollocks.

Leicester do have the ball in our net again on 65 as Iheanacho cleverly turns in from in front of McCarthy but it is clearly offside this time and the lino has his flag up anyway but then, 10 minutes later, there is a goal that actually counts.  Stephens clears and it’s head up by Adams (on for Long).  A 1-2 with Redders and Adams puts Ings through – this isn’t offside and The King of the Scummers goes on, pokes it through Schmeichel’s legs via his heel and in it rolls…. 2-1 to the mighty Saints.

Sometimes It's Worth a Booking

The last 5 minutes are chaos.  Firstly Adams produces a superb backheel to take out two defenders and Redmond is through with Ings for support and just Soyuncu for company.  Redmond draws the defender and squares it but it’s just a fraction behind Ings who digs out a first-time effort and gives the keeper the chance to make a really good save to push it wide.  Fuck… Redders ball wasn't good enough and Danny should probably have taken a touch.  Of course, having failed to make it 3-1, Leicester have chances and sub Gray plays a 1-2 with Rat Bastard and sees his shot blocked by McCarthy and then the big man is at it again to block Iheanacho as he breaks in from the other side.

Time is running out and Maddison collapses under an Adams challenge to win a free-kick about 30 yards out.  In it comes and Evans bullets a header into the net but once again he looks offside…. Please VAR God…. Yessssss!

Get the fuck in there. What an amazing and deserved win that is. We were the better side more or less from the first whistle to the last and dominated every aspect of the game you could possibly hope to dominate. The only injustice is that it was only a one-goal win in the end. Danny Ings getting the winning goal will, of course, mean that he is the man of the match in the eyes of people who don’t watch and think about what they are watching. Ings this season has been all about one chance and one goal and basically a very high conversion rate. Today he missed four or five chances but kept going and got the one that mattered. It is hard to pick a man of the match when everyone from McCarthy right through to Shane was excellent and Che Adams also did really well when he came on for Shane in the last 10 minutes. Oh yes, football is a team and a squad game – who would have thought.  Gun to my head - if I was going to pick a man of the match then I would pick Shane Long. Soyuncu at the heart of the Leicester defence has picked up many plaudits but today, Shane made him look like a lower league hacker. He might have played well against all sorts of strikers in the first half of the season but he clearly couldn’t handle Shane and when you add The King of the Scummers into the mix as well then he had an absolute shocker and if it wasn’t for Lee Mason being partially blind, he would’ve been booked at least once for persistent fouling.

It’s another game where people will be talking about VAR. Shane got put through which led to the (non) penalty but as soon as it went to VAR and as soon as it involved Shane and an offside, I knew it was going to be offside so there was barely any time to get excited. In the end, it was one of those ones that was offside by the width of fuck all. Leicester had the ball in the net four times overall. The offsides against Rat Bastard and Iheanacho were spotted by the linesman and all VAR did was confirm that the decision was correct. Evans header was missed by the linesman and he was the furthest offside of all the decisions. It didn’t seem to be any review of the Leicester goal when Pérez put Rat Bastard Vardy through on the wing. To the naked eye he looked a long way offside but there you go, who cares when you win.

Before the Shane Long penalty incident, we should’ve been out of sight with Ings hitting the bar twice within a minute and the King of the Scummers also missing when clean through in opening 10 minutes. It was ridiculous how good we were in midfield with JWP and Armstrong, in particular, standing out in an area where we got completely and utterly trashed at St Mary‘s.

It was awesome and Ralph was awesome in the way he handled the predictable line of questioning after the game where the interviewer was trying to make it all about revenge for the 9-0 game. Ralph’s comments were all about showing that we are a good team and showing how much we have improved but everyone has to have an angle, don’t they? Like I said at the start, we could be Leicester the next five times we played them and still, the first question will be about the 9-0.  The only nine that anyone should be talking about is our number nine who is now up to 14 Premier League goals for the season.

As for Leicester, I guess Johnny Evans wasn’t looking for any sort of record today and I wonder if the club shop sold any 9-0 DVDs in the immediate aftermath of the game after they put the advert for it on the big screen before the game?. Elsewhere, it’s remarkable how quickly Leicester went to using the ball over the top to Vardy. It’s a legitimate tactic of course because Rat Bastard is so good when played into space, as proved by the first goal but they didn’t seem to have the confidence to play too much through midfield where Saints once again were excellent.

We have now shot up to 28 points and 12th place, only behind Everton and Arsenal on goal difference and eight points ahead of our other South Coast neighbours who occupy the last relegation place.  I’ll keep looking at how many points we are ahead of the last relegation place rather than looking up the table and I suggest everyone else does the same to keep everyone’s feet firmly on the ground.  Today isn’t about league tables though, it’s about the journey and saying “ok, we were shit three months ago but we’re not now”.

Next up is a home game against one of the better sides of the division, Wolves. We’re going to that with absolutely nothing to fear and long may we keep this brilliant run of form going. Bring it on.

FA Cup 3rd Round - Southampton 2 Huddersfield 0

Pick That Out

FA Cup third round and our recent form in the league has at least given us the option of taking this game seriously. That said, I’m really not expecting very many regular first-team players in the side today for the visit of Championship side Huddersfield Town.

Huddersfield were of course in the Premier League last season and when David Wegner was the manager, they kind of had a chance of repeating the previous seasons' heroics and staying up. For whatever reason, they got rid of Wagner and appointed a German guy Jan Siewert who looked like he had been plucked off the street with absolutely no football experience whatsoever. Siewert was completely fucking useless and couldn’t have been more out of his depth if he was nailed to the bottom of the North Sea… and relegation was nailed on from that moment as they barely picked up another win. This season of the Championship started in a similar vein and so they changed the manager again and got in Danny Cowley who had done relatively well in the lower divisions. Given time, Cowley will probably prove to be a decent appointment but they are fighting against relegation again this season so I will not be at all surprised if they aren’t playing many of their first-team players either.

If we’re going to go with the second string side then I hope we do it properly and we see some youngsters like Will Smallbone, Callum Slattery, Kayne Ramsey and not just the obvious ones who will play today like Oriol Romeu, Maya Yoshida and Angus Gunn.

One player who I severely hope we don’t see today is Danny Ings who, because he scored against media darlings Tottenham, has now caught the attention of the mainstream media and being touted for an England call-up. Of course, Danny thoroughly deserves to be called up by England but let’s be realistic here. He is at best going to take the squad place of someone like Callum Wilson and be about the fifth choice. Kane is the first choice and even though he is injured, Abraham will be the preferred replacement and that’s before you even consider Rashford playing as a central striker. Dominic Calvert-Lewin has been playing pretty well for the last four or five games and he is the sort of player that will get a call up before Danny does. Of course, we need him so I think it would be in everyone’s best interest for him not to get called up.

Team news and we have debut’s for Smallbone and Jake Vokins with JWP being the only first-team regular.  Angus Gunn is in goal for the first time since 9-0 and the rest of the side is players who are regularly on the Premier League sides bench like Romeu, Vestergaard, Yoshida and Adams.  Kevin Danso has been shoe-horned in at right-back and surprisingly, Boufal’s table has allowed his victim to play from the start today.  Huddersfield have Fraizer Campbell playing – the same Fraizer Campbell who won a full England cap, basically because he came through the Manchester United academy.

Away we go and it’s kind of flat but a bit of patience required because you’re not going to get a free-flowing performance from a scratch side.  We’ve lined up in the now usual 4-2-2-2 formation with Smallbone on the right-wing and Danso at right-back so there are two players out of position for starters.  On the left, JWP creates the first chance with a lung-busting break, gets to edge of the area and slides in Adams and is this it?.... nope… a virtual backpass.

Huddersfield don’t really commit any players forward but they don’t need to as Vestergaard gives the ball away in midfield, one pass and Campbell is running at the goal.  Yoshida back off and backs off and eventually, Campbell is in the penalty area and luckily, he lashes it into the empty Chapel Stand.  Yoshida is backing off so far he’s almost like Toby Alderweireld backing out of the stadium.  I mean, you can back off to a point but he was well inside the penalty area when he hit that.

Smallbone creates a decent chance for himself but his left footed shot is closer to the passing Flybe jet than it is to the goal and a rather pedestrian first half is coming to a close when Vestergaard comes forward from the defence, finds Smallbone with a good ball forward and the youngster lays it off first time and Shane is though and surprisingly, he scores like a proper striker… oh, hang on, fucking VAR check.  The world stops turning, civilizations rise and fall, Donald Trump starts a War and then we finally get the VAR verdict and it’s offside by the smallest margin.  To be honest, as soon as the VAR check started I knew it was going to be offside because it was Shane and Shane is always offside.

Half time and it’s been dull.  The two young lads have both done ok but the play is too slow and Hudderfield are keeping in shape and not being stretched too much.  The game could do with a goal and within 3 minutes of the restart we get one and JWP finds Danso on the wing and the big man lumbers past Bacuna and digs out a great cross which swirls to the back post, Shane knocks it to the penalty spot and there’s Will Smallbone to lash it into the net.  Well done nipper – bloody great finish that was.  Huddersfield players are appealing for VAR to rule that Danso’s cross had gone out – fuck off.

You would think that Huddersfield would come out a bit more now and go for it but they don’t and we’re still very comfortable.  Cedric is on for Danso who appears to have a knock and the new man has to do something that doesn’t come naturally to him and defend when our left side is all at sea and the cross is headed out to Grant by Yoshida and Cedric has to get his boyband features in the way of Grant’s shot.

85 gone and nothing much happening…. Armstrong and Obafemi are on for Smallbone and Boufal but the icing on the cake is provided after Adams cleverly created space and knocked the ball out to Vokins who ran at the Huddersfield right-back Simpson (probably the worst player ever to win the Premier Lieague) and tried his luck, seeing his shot flick off Simpson and then fly over the keeper and go in off the bar.  It’s lovely to see the second youngster get in on the act and a nice way to end the game.

Pick That Out (Part 2)

Well it wasn’t a game that will live long in the memory and all you can say about it is that it was a job well done. We won the game, no one got injured, two youngsters made their debuts and both scored and a load of first-team squad players who had not been regulars, all got a good amount of time on the pitch.

In the first half, it was quite easy to see why some players had not been playing in the Premier League. Oriol Romeu didn’t have what you would call a bad game but he just took too long to pass the ball and a lot of our moves, or potential moves forward were cut off at source because he just took too long to play the ball at times. The second half was better and all the players tried to play the ball a little bit quicker with the tone being sat just before half-time by Smallbone’s first time pass through to Shane Long who of course, was narrowly offside. More of the use of VAR later on.

Once Smallbone’s goal went in at the start of the second-half then the game was virtually done as Huddersfield basically just turned up and lost. They offered very very little in terms of attack and their game play, despite a couple of substitutions, did not get any more attacking as the game went on.

We had all been wondering why Jake Vokins was not given a chance when Ryan Bertrand was out suspended. Today I think we saw why he maybe hasn’t been given a chance but also, we saw that there is a lot to work with. On the plus side, he is very good going forward which was illustrated by his goal, which admittedly did owe a little bit to the fortunate deflection of the Huddersfield defender but it was brilliant to see that hit the net. His starting position seemed to be wrong I lot of the time and there were many occasions when we were passing of all along the back four and normally the next pass will be out to the left-back but the left-back was stationed 40 yards further forward so eventually, we had to turn on play the ball back the other way. The other problem he’s going to have going forward is that he is physically quite small so there is going to have to be a lot of time spent in the gym in order to be a truly effective regular at Premier League level.  Overall, I can totally see why Ralph has not thrown him in at the deep end in the Premier League as yet.

Smallbone looked calm and composed throughout, though it did seem that he is not suited for playing wide in a 4-2-2-2.  When he wandered infield, like he did for his goal, then he looks a different player.  He had a good game without tearing up any trees and I think he, like Vokins, can be very happy with his debut.  He seems to be a player who is all about his end product and he certainly showed that today but though he is extremely promising, he has a long way to go to be in regular contention for the first team.

We can’t mention the end product without talking about our forwards. The thought of a Danny Ings absence from the first team came into horrific focus today.  Both Long and Adams worked hard but there really wasn’t a lot to strike fear into opposition defenders. This was a real chance for Adams to get off the mark in the Saints shirt but apart from one time when he hit the goalkeeper, he never really looked like doing so.  Shane was unlucky with the VAR shout.  Because they can’t have VAR at every ground in the FA Cup 3^rd Round, they should not be having it at any game in the 3^rd Round.  Just having it at Premier League grounds makes a mockery of the FA Cup because basically, games in the same competition are being played under different sets of rules.  More bollocks thinking from the powers that be over VAR.

So, into the hat for the fourth round and it was interesting to see the Pompey made it through into the hat as well. Personally, I don’t want to play them again as I want them to stew on the 4-0 home defeat for a few years at least.  Still, the draw is on Monday - lightning can’t strike twice in one season, can it? 

Premier League Match 21 - Southampton 1 Tottenham 0

Taxi for Toby!

New Year’s Day 2020 and a visit from Tottenham Hotspur and their new manager, José Mourinho, who you may have heard of. So far, he has had about 10 games in charge and their win rate has risen significantly than in the last few months of Mauricio Pochettino’s reign. Jose has been trying different players and in his usual manner, throwing some under the bus because in Jose’s world, winning trophies is everything and he has proven very successful in doing that but he can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.

The eggs he has tried to break so far include record signing Tanguy Ndombele and Eric Dier, on whom he did the increasingly popular substituting after 15 minutes thing. It’s interesting that he has taken it out on these two players, yet he still has Serge Aurier in the team who as everyone knows, got sent off against Saints in the reverse fixture this season and since then has proven nothing except what we already know which is that he is a complete liability. Talking of liabilities, they have Paulo Gazzaniga in goal and though he is undoubtedly much improved since his days as our reserve keeper, he is still an accident waiting to happen, as proved last week against Chelsea when he went to fly hack a ball clear, missed it and trashed the oncoming player. You might say that accidents happen occasionally but this was a ball that wasn’t even a backpass and he could’ve just stood there and picked it up.  There is no way that Gazzaniga would be in goal if Spurs had any sort of viable alternative.

There seemed to be a cloud hanging over the club past-Champions League Final and Pochettino paid the price in the end though everything in his manner suggested his heart wasn’t really in it anymore.  Spurs seem to be at a bit of a crossroads because aside from changing managers, they’ve had issues with their stalwart players not being at their usual level – Alderweireld and Vertonghen are not what they were, Eriksen doesn’t seem bothered and Kane seems less mobile than he was a couple of years ago.  .  On the positive side, Dele Alli appears to have returned after his year off and started the Mourinho era with a flurry of goals.  Son Heung Min is missing today after sticking his boot in Toni Rudiger’s chest last week.  Though Rudiger undoubtedly made a meal of it, Son deserved to get sent off and Spurs appeal against this was rightly kicked out. Add that to deliberately trashing Andre Gomes which resulted in a broken leg and maybe Son’s not as nice as everyone at Spurs says he is.

It’s always a case of what could’ve been when you see Toby Alderweireld playing in their defence. I don’t really want to rake over the past too much but the way he joined Spurs was undoubtedly shitty on their part but no questions were ever asked in the same way that very few questions were asked about any of Liverpool‘s transfer dealings with us. That particular episode had a lot to do with Paul Mitchell who left Saints midway through Toby’s one season with us and joined Spurs and lo and behold, that’s where Toby went the following summer. Paul Mitchell is a guy who we have never adequately replaced on the recruitment side of things, a position which comes into focus in January in what is known around these parts as the Ross Wilson Guido Carrillo transfer window.

Judging by the noises coming out of the club, there will undoubtedly be some activity in the transfer window with full-back being the area most in need of attention. The ideal would be a full-back who is happy playing on either side of course.  Ralph’s pre-match press conference this week has led us to believe that Shane Long is fit again so it will be interesting to see if it is he or Che Adams starting upfront.  Che has been linked with a move away on loan in this window.  I can’t help but feel that this is paper talk and I would imagine that the only way he would leave would be permanently, which is unlikely in itself.

Spurs come to us today with a flaky away record over the past six months or so, we have to make sure that we do not play our usual role of kick-starting any player or any team who is in a bad trot of form.  Our team is announced and it has Armstrong on the right and Djenepo on the left with Nathan Redmond pushed into the attack behind Danny Ings, King of the Scummers.  Boufal’s table has done its job again and kept the winger off the substitutes bench.  The table now has better tackling stats than Cedric.

Away we go and it’s Cedric who has our first chance as Bertrand whips in a superb cross from the left to pick him out and Cedric has a free header from about 12 yards but the ball heads him rather than him heading the ball and it goes harmless wide of the far post as he looks at it.

Kane, with 43 goals in his last 10 games against Southampton, picks up the ball on the edge of the box and tries to slot it through for Alli but it’s deflected back to him and he then shoots, seeing the ball hit Bednarek and loop up towards the top corner to where McCarthy claws it away. A decent save from the big man.

The next Spurs attack sees the ball gets played up to Dele Alli on the right-hand side of the penalty area. He tries to jink back inside Jack Stephens, loses the ball and hits the deck in completely pathetic fashion. Even Mike Dean is not given a penalty for that but the arsehole Alli follows him around for five minutes with his arms outstretched pleading for a penalty like a complete pathetic dickhead.  The play has gone right up the other end of the pitch and he’s still at it.  Wanker.  Mike Dean should book him of course either for the dive or the dissent but Mike Dean is of course, also a wanker.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeee!

Armstrong turns up on the left and feeds Redmond who gives Alderweireld twisted blood and eventually finds space for a shot which is blocked in none too convincing fashion by Gazzaniga and a Spurs boot gets to the ball before Armstrong can capitalise and we win a corner.

Spurs try and pass the ball forwards out of defence but Stephens steps up and picks up the ball on the halfway line. A quick look up and over the top of the Spurs defence to where Danny Ings runs onto it with just Alderweireld for company. He flicks up à la Gascoigne at Euro 96 and Alderweireld does a Colin Hendry and goes sliding out of the stadium on his arse which allows Ings to take his time and smash the ball into the net with his left foot as Gazzaniga decides not to even put in an effort to try and stop it. Brilliant fucking goal. 17 minutes and deservedly ahead.

It feels odd not to concede the first goal at home and we have another decent chance just after that as Armstrong gets away down the right, beating Vertonghen and picking up Redmond’s run at the near post but his shot hits Alderweireld, who has paid to get back into the ground after his earlier exit, and it flicks over the bar.

It all goes a bit quiet in terms of goalmouth incident for a bit aside from Alli having another dive but we are defending very well and not really giving them a sniff.  There is one chance before half-time as Kane takes a pot-shot which McCarthy spills to the right but he just about gets some of the ball as he dives at it and Alli cartwheels over the top of him. To be fair to Alli, I don’t think he’s actually diving this time but we have to sit through over the VAR check before we can get to half time in the knowledge of 45 minutes very well done.

We start the second half the stronger with Ings spreading the ball out to Cedric on the right-hand side and he puts in a really good cross, almost phenomenal, which is met by Redmond about 15 yards and he volleys it over the bar.  Not particularly great that for a forward.

There is more good play from Saints as we work the ball via Hojbjerg out to Djenepo and he weaves into the box and lays it off for Bertrand to cross.  In it comes and there’s Toby Alderweireld, waving his hands about his head and the ball hits his forearm and bounces down allowing Spurs to clear.  Clear penalty - it has to be.  No whistle from mike though.  Eventually, play stops and we get a VAR check but we’ve got the problem that Mike blind bastard Dean didn’t give the penalty in the first place so VAR is highly unlikely to overrule. Despite arms not being in and a natural position and having broken the silhouette and all that shit and the ball clearly hitting his arm, it is no penalty which is absolutely fucking bollocks.  He’s basically charged it down.  Even Dele is appealing.  Might as well cancel the handball rule for defenders if that's not a penalty.

Spurs get a free-kick about 30 yards out when JWP takes one for the team and trips Lo Celso. Ericksen’s chipped free-kick is knocked in by Harry Kane who is immediately flagged offside but he’s done a hamstring in the process and has to go off. An incredibly lengthy VAR check which has everyone believing that the goal is going to be allowed, eventually proves that Kane was offside and so we are still 1-0 up.

Almost out of nowhere, Mourinho decides that he’s fed up not being the centre of attention and wanders over to the seats behind our technical area and gets himself booked for having an argument with someone who no doubt repeated the crowd mantra of ‘Fuck Off Mourinho’.  It does prompt a rendition of “You’re Not Special Anymore” and a rousing “You’re just a shit Pochettino”.

Long is on for Djenepo with Redmond moving to the left-wing and he gives us a bit of physical presence upfront which we haven’t had up until this point getting up and flicking a ball over to Redmond on the left he drives at goal and wins a corner. JWP’s corner for once is not straight at Gazzaniga and Long meets it at the back post but heads it narrowly wide.  It’s a shame because that would give us a bit of breathing space but as it is our lot as Southampton fans, we have to suffer in pain and anguish until the very last bastard second.  Eventually, after 6 minutes of the addition 5 signalled, even Mike Dean wants to confirm that we’ve won and blows his whistle.  The ground is rocking and we deserved that.  Oh, when the SAINTS go marching in!!! Brilliant.

What a win that is. Having scored in 17th minute, you could’ve probably got about 500-1 on Saints keeping a clean sheet and winning that game 1-0. We are suddenly made of sterner stuff than we used to be just a few months ago when we would have undoubtedly drawn or lost.

The team worked remarkably hard to keep Spurs at arms-length and I can only really remember one header that McCarthy saved in the second half. Other than that, there were a couple of deflections that pinged around but we held out relatively comfortably and deserved the win. It was a game of relatively few clear-cut chances and we certainly weren’t great going forward but it matters little as we got the job done and our first clean sheet at home for what feels like about three years.

The whole back four were excellent again, in particular, the two central defenders. Jack Stephens had another excellent game and Jan Bednarek wasn’t far behind him. Cedric was as good as Cedric is ever going to be and Ryan Bertrand certainly looks like he’s enjoying his football at the moment. In front of them, Captain Hojbjerg and JWP were absolutely tireless, stopping Spurs building up any head of steam through the midfield.  Sissoko for Spurs was a bit of a handful today when he got forward and a couple of times he knocked players out the way with his powerful running but look at what JWP did to him in the last 10 minutes when he absolutely trashed him in a 50-50 and left the much bigger and heavier Sissoko in a heap on the floor. That, in a nutshell, is what has changed about this team since the Leicester fiasco.  We are not soft any more and we aren’t easy to play against.

We weren’t brilliant upfront apart from the goal. Redmond had one of those games where is head was down to often and he continually lost the ball and this is something that Obafemi carried on when he came on for Ings late on. Djenepo was a bit frustrating out on the left-wing though Spurs were aware of the danger he posed and closed him down pretty quickly with two men.  On the other side, Armstrong looked to be blowing out of his arse from the start of the second half onwards but had another good game.  Upfront, I thought Shane Long was excellent when he came on, in a game that really suited him and what more can you say about Danny Ings, King of the Scummers? It’s an absolutely brilliant goal and the fact that he sent Toby Alderweireld sliding out of the stadium for a hot dog just before he scored was the icing on the cake. It’s not just the goal though, it is the defending from the front. How many times did he block Vertonghen clearing the ball up the pitch?

Spurs were odd. Dele Alli is an absolute fucking disgrace.  On reflection, there was the slightest touch by Stephens but not enough to send him down.  The introduction of VAR means that players like him will be looking to go down even more than they did already because we are still not booking people for diving.  Two horrible dives in the first half, one under minimal contact and one under no contact and then he spent about three or four minutes appealing, running around after Mike Dean with his arms out, pleading I assume for a VAR review. Embarrassing and grow up you silly little twat. Mind you, he might be onto something appealing to Mike Dean, who was absolutely atrocious throughout. The foul count was 21-6, yet Spurs manage to have four players booked which suggest the Dean was only refereeing one way. Basically, it had to be a pretty bad foul for it to be given against Spurs whereas any time there was any sort of tangle that could’ve been given either way, it went to Spurs, every fucking time.

One of the Spurs bookings was, of course, José Mourinho who got involved in a spat with Andrew Sparkes, our goalkeeping coach. This and his subsequent interview where he called Sparks an idiot is classic José deflection to deflect attention away from the fact that his team were absolutely shit. Pundits are now talking about Jose being a nutter (which everyone knows anyway) rather than looking at his shortcomings.  

Ralph watches on as Mike beats Jose in the "Biggest Twat" Competition

It is an absolutely brilliant win for Saints and for Ralph and ridiculously, as I left the ground we were 11th in the league and above Arsenal. What the fuck is going on here? It is interesting though to see teams who were at the bottom of the league all season like ourselves, Norwich and Watford all showing signs of life whereas the likes of Newcastle and Bournemouth are free-falling towards the bottom three. I did see a funny comment from a Bournemouth fan who said that in the event of them getting relegated, all they will have to show for their years in the Premier League is a shit squad and new electronic turnstiles on the Dean Court shed that they play in.

We march on, as the marketing slogan goes and on to a home FA Cup tie against Huddersfield on Saturday. I’m expecting to see the likes of Vestergaard, Yoshida, Gunn and Romeo all playing as we should surely have enough to get past the struggling Championship side.  It’ll be nice to watch a game without much pressure.

All Hail the King of the Scummers!