Take the Gunn, Shoot Yourself in the Foot
And so the season comes to an end with The visit of
Huddersfield town to St Mary‘s. Congratulations to Huddersfield who have
managed to avoid being the worst team in Premier League history but with just
the three wins all season... only just. It should be a bit of a party today and
it would be good to send the fans home feeling good about everything with a
nice win to round off the season.
I don’t think this game has anything riding on it at all, not even position related prize-money. We are two points behind Burnley and they are at home to Arsenal who have just qualified for the Europa league final. I would be amazed if Burnley don’t win that game. Brighton are two points behind us and they are not getting three points at home to Manchester City as long as I have a hole in my arse. That’ll be the first result I look for after our game has finished to ensure that Manchester City and not the Red Scouse bastards have won the Premier League.
People have desperately been trying to make the Champions League semi-finals in some way connected with Southampton as a number of our former players were playing. They are fucking dead to me once they leave and I really don’t care about how well they do with their current clubs. That said, the only thing I have against Tottenham from a Saints perspective is that they sing “oh when the Spurs go marching in“. Other than that, the last shit house thing between us and them was the Toby Alderweireld transfer which was four years ago now. The list of things I don’t like about Liverpool is huge and I have been very vocal about that on a number of occasions so I will be a Spurs fan come Champions League final night.
There was some sad news on Saturday in that John Gittins has passed away at the age of 55. He was twice a Southampton player and was capable of very good performances at top league level. He was never really a first-team regular in either spell with the club but he had a good career and 55 is far too young. Rest in peace big man and thoughts with his family.
Ralph is not really giving much away regarding what sort of team we are going to put out but Charlie Austin has been somewhat cryptic on social media suggesting that out of adversity comes great opportunity. I’m sure that someone had to spell those long words out for him. Maybe he’s playing against Huddersfield who he has some sort of grudge against which I believe stems from his Burnley days or maybe he has found a new club to play for next season. Maybe both are true.
The team is pretty much the usual with the 4222 formation being present again. Long and Ings upfront with Redders and JWP wide. With the Under 23s having a play-off final on Monday, there is no room on the bench for any youngsters apart from Alfie Jones who I’m not sure is even eligible for the under 23’s anymore. After his performance last week, Elyounoussi hasn’t even made the bench which kind of tells you all you need to know I think.
Saints have the first kind of half chance as Ings lobs a ball forward and debutant keeper Coleman comes out of the edge of the box and makes a fuck-up of it. Shane has to turn and chip towards the empty goal but it’s never going in and drops a long way wide.
Saints have another chance to practice defending when we lose the ball on the edge of the opposition penalty area but even Huddersfield manage to play all the way through us up the left wing, back across to the right and Aaron Moot, their best player, cuts in and with his left foot, curls it narrowly over the bar. Gunn wasn’t getting anywhere near that if it been on target.
Ings is working hard to win the ball back in the Huddersfield half but when he gets sight of goal it all looks a little rushed and he drags one wide of the far post from 25 yards. His partner upfront has reverted to being the usual Shane Long instead of the impostor who has been playing the last few weeks and I can do nothing but laugh when he tries to control the ball on the left wing and it simply bounces off his shin and out of play.
Ralph is pacing about not looking remotely happy with what he sees on the pitch but he cheered up a minute later as Ings picked up the ball in midfield and drove forward before feeding it to Redmond out on the left. The newly crowned double player of the season cuts inside one man, cuts inside another and with no third Huddersfield defender coming to close him down, he smashes it over Coleman and ripping into the top of the net. Fucking brilliant goal. Not only is he our player of the season but he has been the best player today by an absolute mile.
Half time and Ralph has obviously had enough of the old Shane Long and he is replaced with Matty Targett who has been pushed up onto the left wing with Redmond going central. Targett is involved straightaway, finding Ings who tees up JWP and from 25 yards he pings in another superb effort which Coleman gets fingertips to and it rattles off the bar. Get another goal and this lot are toast.
And then we added another chapter to the “Goals that we managed to throw the opposition when under no pressure whatsoever“ file. Gunn takes a goal-kick to Bertrand who plays it back to him and Gunn seems to be totally unaware of Pritchard closing him down, takes a horrific touch, Pritchard nicks it off him and passes it into the net. For fuck‘s sake.
I don’t think this game has anything riding on it at all, not even position related prize-money. We are two points behind Burnley and they are at home to Arsenal who have just qualified for the Europa league final. I would be amazed if Burnley don’t win that game. Brighton are two points behind us and they are not getting three points at home to Manchester City as long as I have a hole in my arse. That’ll be the first result I look for after our game has finished to ensure that Manchester City and not the Red Scouse bastards have won the Premier League.
People have desperately been trying to make the Champions League semi-finals in some way connected with Southampton as a number of our former players were playing. They are fucking dead to me once they leave and I really don’t care about how well they do with their current clubs. That said, the only thing I have against Tottenham from a Saints perspective is that they sing “oh when the Spurs go marching in“. Other than that, the last shit house thing between us and them was the Toby Alderweireld transfer which was four years ago now. The list of things I don’t like about Liverpool is huge and I have been very vocal about that on a number of occasions so I will be a Spurs fan come Champions League final night.
There was some sad news on Saturday in that John Gittins has passed away at the age of 55. He was twice a Southampton player and was capable of very good performances at top league level. He was never really a first-team regular in either spell with the club but he had a good career and 55 is far too young. Rest in peace big man and thoughts with his family.
Ralph is not really giving much away regarding what sort of team we are going to put out but Charlie Austin has been somewhat cryptic on social media suggesting that out of adversity comes great opportunity. I’m sure that someone had to spell those long words out for him. Maybe he’s playing against Huddersfield who he has some sort of grudge against which I believe stems from his Burnley days or maybe he has found a new club to play for next season. Maybe both are true.
The team is pretty much the usual with the 4222 formation being present again. Long and Ings upfront with Redders and JWP wide. With the Under 23s having a play-off final on Monday, there is no room on the bench for any youngsters apart from Alfie Jones who I’m not sure is even eligible for the under 23’s anymore. After his performance last week, Elyounoussi hasn’t even made the bench which kind of tells you all you need to know I think.
Saints have the first kind of half chance as Ings lobs a ball forward and debutant keeper Coleman comes out of the edge of the box and makes a fuck-up of it. Shane has to turn and chip towards the empty goal but it’s never going in and drops a long way wide.
Saints have another chance to practice defending when we lose the ball on the edge of the opposition penalty area but even Huddersfield manage to play all the way through us up the left wing, back across to the right and Aaron Moot, their best player, cuts in and with his left foot, curls it narrowly over the bar. Gunn wasn’t getting anywhere near that if it been on target.
Ings is working hard to win the ball back in the Huddersfield half but when he gets sight of goal it all looks a little rushed and he drags one wide of the far post from 25 yards. His partner upfront has reverted to being the usual Shane Long instead of the impostor who has been playing the last few weeks and I can do nothing but laugh when he tries to control the ball on the left wing and it simply bounces off his shin and out of play.
Ralph is pacing about not looking remotely happy with what he sees on the pitch but he cheered up a minute later as Ings picked up the ball in midfield and drove forward before feeding it to Redmond out on the left. The newly crowned double player of the season cuts inside one man, cuts inside another and with no third Huddersfield defender coming to close him down, he smashes it over Coleman and ripping into the top of the net. Fucking brilliant goal. Not only is he our player of the season but he has been the best player today by an absolute mile.
Half time and Ralph has obviously had enough of the old Shane Long and he is replaced with Matty Targett who has been pushed up onto the left wing with Redmond going central. Targett is involved straightaway, finding Ings who tees up JWP and from 25 yards he pings in another superb effort which Coleman gets fingertips to and it rattles off the bar. Get another goal and this lot are toast.
And then we added another chapter to the “Goals that we managed to throw the opposition when under no pressure whatsoever“ file. Gunn takes a goal-kick to Bertrand who plays it back to him and Gunn seems to be totally unaware of Pritchard closing him down, takes a horrific touch, Pritchard nicks it off him and passes it into the net. For fuck‘s sake.
There is still half an hour to go but you know that the game is going to
completely change now. There is a brief flicker as Targett megs a defender and
puts over a dangerous cross which is cleared and there is another chance for
Ings as Valery over hits a ball down the right wing, Redmond somehow gets over
a superb cross on the volley and Ings header hits a defender and squirts wide.
He is having no luck at all.
With Ings unable to buy a goal, it’s time for what will hopefully be Charlie Austin‘s farewell appearance. He has had his hair dyed blonde. Well we all know that Charlie does love a trip to the hairdressers. We have a go at letting in another goal from a corner as our half zonal half man marking shambles leaves Schindler with a free header at the back post which he bounces down and over the bar.
We are then treated to the worlds slowest pitch invasion by one fat bastard who looked a bit like an overweight extra from Shaun of the Dead, such was his waddling presence. None of the stewards were going to make a tit of themselves by trying to catch him so they kind of walked alongside him until he walked into the goal, at which point the fat fuck didn’t really know what to do. What the situation needed was some big meathead Steward to absolutely poleaxed the guy with a rugby tackle.
Sims comes on for Romeu as Ralph at least tries to win the game and the final chance to do so falls to Austin after more good work from Redmond but the blonde haired fat lazy lager boy kebab boy curls a shot narrowly wide of the far post.
It was quite nice that aside from the aforementioned fat pillock, no one ran on the pitch at the end of the game including Charlie Austin who hadn’t ran on the pitch in the 20 minutes he was on. The lap of appreciation was done with baby McCarthy being the star of the show And the players and staff disappeared off down the tunnel to begin their well-deserved summer breaks.
With Ings unable to buy a goal, it’s time for what will hopefully be Charlie Austin‘s farewell appearance. He has had his hair dyed blonde. Well we all know that Charlie does love a trip to the hairdressers. We have a go at letting in another goal from a corner as our half zonal half man marking shambles leaves Schindler with a free header at the back post which he bounces down and over the bar.
We are then treated to the worlds slowest pitch invasion by one fat bastard who looked a bit like an overweight extra from Shaun of the Dead, such was his waddling presence. None of the stewards were going to make a tit of themselves by trying to catch him so they kind of walked alongside him until he walked into the goal, at which point the fat fuck didn’t really know what to do. What the situation needed was some big meathead Steward to absolutely poleaxed the guy with a rugby tackle.
Sims comes on for Romeu as Ralph at least tries to win the game and the final chance to do so falls to Austin after more good work from Redmond but the blonde haired fat lazy lager boy kebab boy curls a shot narrowly wide of the far post.
It was quite nice that aside from the aforementioned fat pillock, no one ran on the pitch at the end of the game including Charlie Austin who hadn’t ran on the pitch in the 20 minutes he was on. The lap of appreciation was done with baby McCarthy being the star of the show And the players and staff disappeared off down the tunnel to begin their well-deserved summer breaks.
Today’s game was mainly dreadful. It only really came to life whenever Nathan Redmond got the ball and he thoroughly deserved the brilliant goal that he scored. The second half started reasonably well and we looks like we were going to canter to a 1-0 or 2-0 win. Not long after JWP hit the bar and we looked in control, then Angus Gunn did that. It’s another example of this Southampton side being able to virtually throw a goal in our own net at any point from any position on the pitch. It brings back into focus our goalkeeping situation. Personally, I think Alex McCarthy is the most reliable of the three and didn’t do very much wrong before he got dropped. Gunn, putting today’s aberration aside for a second, doesn’t quite have the presence yet and Fraser Forster’s form has gone off a cliff of course in the past two years.
Letting in shit goals like that when you have been under no pressure at all, tends to kill momentum, A bit like all the air leaving your body in one go. The last half hour was just played out at walking pace which made it ideal for Charlie Austin to come on as a substitute but even that pace was too much for him.
Elsewhere, we had the return of the normal Shane Long it was dreadful for 45 minutes before being substituted and it really look like to me for the rest of the players were desperately trying to get a goal for Danny Ings and whilst I thought things had a good game today, he never looked confident in front of goal and always seem to take an extra touch and lose the ball when the chance presented itself.
I know that 4-2-2-2 is Ralph’s preferred formation but it doesn’t work with the players that we have got at the moment. It certainly doesn’t suit JWP and what seems to happen is that the midfield two get over run which in turn means there is very little protection for the two central defenders, one of whom is of course Jack Stephens at the moment.
Anyway. The good news is that I am sure the opening game of next season will see quite a few changes in personnel. Bring it on.
Elsewhere in the country, the good news is that Liverpool didn’t win the fucking league. They have been dubbed the greatest runners-up of all time and... get in the fucking sea. They are not the greatest anything as they have come second which the last time I checked, does not make you the greatest. Virgil, Sadio, Adam and Dejan have still won just as many trophies as they would have won if they had stayed at Southampton. All we need is a really good performance from Spurs in a couple of weeks and that can continue.
In the race for 15th, we came 16th which is slightly annoying because Burnley did in fact lose to Arsenal and we would have won the race for 15th if we had beaten Huddersfield today. Personally, I wasn’t remotely surprised by the lacklustre performance and we just have to be grateful that we are starting next season in the Premier League and not in the Championship with Huddersfield.
The fact that we are not in the championship is down to Ralph Hasenhuttl and the improved form of the players that he has brought about. I can’t wait to see the current and new players after a full pre-season with the big man in charge. We have every reason to be positive. If we get it right over the summer and it should be a good season next year and I for one can’t wait to see how Ralph develops this team. Until next season…
PS... on Monday night I went along to St Mary‘s to watch the Under 23s in their play-off final against Newcastle, which ended in a hard earned 2-1 win. Over the 95 minutes we did deserve it but you could see the influence of the first team in the last 20 minutes as we did our very best to give away the two-nil lead that we had established. To be honest, not many of the players looked ready for regular first-team action. Alfie Jones stood out in defence, Callum Slattery and Tom O’Connor in midfield and Dan N’Lundulu looked a handful upfront but he was blowing out of his arse after 45 minutes. It was all about winning now and win they did so they are now in division one of the under 23 section next year which is good for the club and good for the individual players who will now be tested against better players of course.
The future is bright....
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