Premier League Match 34 - Leicester 0 Southampton 0

Another Thrill Ride

Somewhen in December it was becoming painfully obvious that keeping Pellegrino was going to mean we were in for a relegation battle, I saw some Saints fans already looking at the results that other struggling teams were getting and filling in predictors and all that sort stuff. I said back then that there was absolutely no point in looking at other teams results as we had to get our own house in order otherwise it would all be completely irrelevant. Has the time come when we need to start worrying about other teams results? To be perfectly honest, the deal is exactly the same as it was back in December. If we don’t get our own house in order then we are completely fucked.

Having said that, at the end of The Chelsea blog however, I was guilty at looking at the fixtures that Brighton have left to play and pondering that they wouldn’t get another point and that we would only need 7 to overhaul and then the bastards went then got a point against Tottenham so by that logic, my new target is now eight points. So, it is pointless looking at other times at the moment. There will be some point if we can win this game tonight.

We have reached the point of no return. Today we are playing a Leicester City Side with absolutely nothing to play for and it would appear, a manager that no one wants to play for. That manager is of course Claude Puel who started well and it of course at it fuelled the fire of everybody saying Southampton were such dicks to sack the manager we finished eighth and got into a cup final with. We all said that there was more to it than that but no one listened and Leicester’s good start under him seem to confirm in everyones' eyes that our decision was a bad one. However, he clearly hadn’t had time at that point to fuck everything up at Leicester. Now he has and the rumours are that Leicester players and Leicester fans are getting pissed off with it. Their fans were so arrogant when they tanked us 4-1 at St Mary‘s so they deserve it really. Hopefully they will keep him next season and see the full effect. Maybe they can appoint Pellegrino to replace him as well.

We have to go for the win today. There is no question about it and if we play with the application we had at times against Chelsea and Arsenal then we have a decent chance. They of course have a danger men in Mahrez and Vardy but they are the sort of team that we should be able to beat if we apply ourselves properly, especially given that they have not much to play for. To be honest, I am not expecting the team to be any different from the one that took the field against Chelsea.

In preparation for the latest most important game of the season, our resident Rockstar Instagram model has gone for his football related social media post this time to show that his mind is fully focused. That would be a big wobbly dangling dirty lie though as Lemina as purely posted a picture of his Fanny. That’s his girlfriend’s name in case you’re wondering. Look mate, if I wanted to follow Jay-Z and Beyoncé on Instagram then I would.

A soundbite from Mark Hughes’ post match interview after the Chelsea game was that he knew which players he could trust and which ones were up for the fight. There has been some speculation as to which players he is referring to as not being up for the fight. The fact that Sims has come on ahead of Redmond and Boufal in the last two matches tells you that those two are being questioned. I would also suggest that Lemina is not focused and Gabbiadini doesn’t really want to be here judging by all the agent-speak that has around him for about a year. The pre-match press conference for Leicester confirms some of this in that Boufal and Lemina are missing the game with unconvincing excuses. It’s not quite my ‘dog ate my homework’ but it’s not far-off and no surprise really.  Two of our most expensive signing and probably two of the highest wage earners don’t fancy actually earning their money.  Wankers.

In the event we name the same side as the Chelsea game with Steve Davis and Jeremy Pied on the bench in place of the ‘Can’t be Arsed 2’.  Leicester have some serious pace up front with Iheanacho, Gray and Vardy as well as Mahrez.  They have some decent players it has to be said.  Hopefully Claude will have sucked any attacking instincts out of them.

It’s a game of severly pressing in the first few minutes as no one gets anywhere with everyone working hard to close everybody down.  The first chance of any description is for Leicester as they work and opening for Mahrez who hits a daisy cutter for McCarthy to fall on.  I know we are trying to keep things tight but there seems to be a complete lack of any urgency and when we win the ball there is no one to pass the ball to.

Out first effort of sorts comes from Tadic as a Bertrand cross is headed out to him on the edge of the box and he connects sweetly with a half volley but well wide. We accidentally create a much better chance as Romeu plays a 1-2 with Tadic and the ball finds its way out to Long and he puts in a really good first time cross and picks out Cedric.  It’s a wonderful chance to at least work the keeper, he’s not marked and could probably have brought it down but he just shits it wide of the near post on the volley.  Full back or not, that was fucking rubbish.

Then came the moment when keeping it tight should have paid off as Hojbjerg threads a great ball through to Long who is virtually thorough.  He should hit it with his left foot but instead tries to square it to Tadic by using his right foot instead of his left and but he resembles a clown in size 20 shoes as he totally fucks it up and just knocks it to the keeper.  Fucking garbage.  After a brief renaissance and a couple of decent performances, you remember that Shane is incredibly limited and not good enough to play clever flicks or do anything much aside from run fast.

Half time and the good news is that we’re still in the game and hopefully we’ll step it up in the second half.  There is nothing really to say about the second half.  We are the better side in the first 15 but nothing is happening going forward. The first sub we made was JWP off and Davis on.  Bringing Davis on is not exactly a positive move especially when removing your best dead ball taker.  We had a half chance when Tadic tried a shot and it deflected to Long which of course means that it doesn’t end up in the net and Hamer smothered it.  Leicester are no better than us aside from one great long ball from Albrighton which picks out Vardy but McCarthy keeps out the effort comfortably.

With 15 to go, Charlie Austin is on but Shane is off so we’re still being pretty unadventurous.  I think Hughes is terrified of going 4 at the back and so he’s hoping to nick it rather than really going for it.  To me, with Austin on you need more pace on the wings in Redmond or Sims.  There is a rare moment of good defending from Cedric as he gets his head on a diagonal cross from Mahrez and clears it.  It’s the sort of cross that usually floats over Stephens and the guy Cedric is supposed to be marking usually scores.  Redmond comes on for Hojbjerg in the end and in the last minute we double our shots on target as Austin tries one from 35 yards and the keeper saves easily.

To be honest I don’t really know what to make of that. Actually, come to think about it, yes I do - it was a load of boring bollocks. If Pellegrino had still been on charge and we played like that and drawn 0-0 then I would be spitting feathers. I am reluctant to criticise Mark Hughes too much because I feel he has been handed an impossible job with everything that has gone on but you have to question the fact that we appeared to play for a draw tonight. Basically wasting a substitution by bringing on Steve Davis was a bit of a strange one, maybe pointing at the game management issue which was so obvious lacking against Chelsea.  As a player, Steve Davis doesn’t add much in terms of going forward and scoring a goal, even when he is fully fit, let alone when he is as rusty as a bag of old nails. Making a like-for-like substitution upfront points to the fact that maybe everyone was happy with a point today. I’m not happy with a point today as Leicester had nothing to play for and were there for the taking. There seem to be a collective lack of energy about us and again, I think this is down to the rubbish that went on under Pellegrino with players not being fit enough.

It was good to know that Les Reed and Motivational Ralph were in attendance to see the shitshow first hand. Ultimately, those two are responsible but particularly Les - he's the King of Football at Southampton FC, he ultimately decides who we sell and buy, he decides on where we need strengthening, he decides who the manager is and how long they stay.  He's had his successes of course but this year he's got it all wrong.

It has to be said though that tonight, a lot of our players just put in piss poor performances. I have never seen Oriol Romeu be as bad as that. Hojbjerg had a dreadful second half as well and JWP and Tadic we are diabolical also, creating next to nothing for the strikers. By default, Shane Long has become our main striker and today he showed how ridiculous that is with the total fuck-up just before half time. He should have just smashed it but instead he tried to pass it, got his clowns feet mixed up and totally fucked up. I cannot think of any other Premier League striker who would have tried to pass that ball.  High energy running – yep, pressurising defenders – yep, football ability – nope.  Cedric and Bertrand on the wings gave us next to nothing going forward and Cedric was back to his best wet lettuce impression when defending. The only four players we come out with any credit of a goalkeeper and the three centre backs who all did pretty well.

It was probably another nail in Claude’s coffin at Leicester as well. He is gradually sucking the life out of them and to be honest, they need to get rid of him in the summer before it becomes ingrained and they go the same way as we are going. Today’s draw in my opinion leaves us needing a further seven points to have a chance of staying up which means basically two wins and a draw out of Bournemouth at home, Everton away and Swansea away.  At the moment you would say there is as much chance of that as Dusan Tadic winning the PFA Player of the Year award.

I sit here after every game and try to write about it but I really can’t be arsed to think about it any more at the moment. Nothing much happened and it was dull as you like.  I don’t feel like I’ve watched a game – I feel like I’ve been repeatedly punched in the back of the head.  Bring on the semi-final against Chelsea. It’ll be a good day until the game starts at least.