Premier League Match 23 - Watford 2 Southampton 2

Doucoure Punches Final Nail in the Cofffin

Spoiler alert.

So, the game happened on Saturday and it’s now Tuesday and the only reason I can be arsed to write a blog entry about it is because I’m a completist so leaving things half done is not an option.  You could basically take the top and bottom of virtually any report I’ve written this season and change the actual match description in the middle.  It’s fucking crap.

The transfer window is rolling on and so far we’ve done nothing – all entirely predictable.  The trail on Theo Walcott has gone cold with him looking set to sign for Everton because they’ve got more money.  To be fair, I never really saw this one as a runner anyway because it’s exactly the sort of thing we leak to the press to take attention away from who we are really after.  It’s perfect for that – he’s English, a World Cup is coming up, he’s current with a big club and there’s the ex-Saint angle.  All this is ideal for journos to make copy out of.  We appear to be after a striker called Guido Carillo who has played for Pellegrino before.  Carillo might be a good player but the most worrying thing about this is that this implies Pellegrino is here to stay.

Anyway, to today and Watford away.  They pissed all over us at St Mary’s which was probably the game when the alarm bells first started ringing about Pellegrino.  Marco Silva comprehensively out-managed him that day but Watford’s season started to fall away as soon as Silva was linked with and prevented from moving to Everton.  It’s fallen away to such an extent that they are second bottom of the Premier League form table.  Guess who’s bottom?

Tombola time and Boufal gets dropped of course and Tadic gets brought back.  There are welcome returns for Wesley Hoedt and Cedric with Bednarek and Yoshida making way with Maya being injured.  Shane Long is again preferred to a striker who can actually score goals.

Saints start quite well as Watford don’t really look very good and Romeu bursts through a tackle on the edge of the box and finds Long in front of goal.  Shane predictably hits it straight at Gomes, only for referee Roger East to give an offside, even though it wasn’t offside and the linesman hadn’t flagged.  Then the linesman flagged once the ref had given it.  Great officiating all round.

The shiteness of the officials is forgoptten after 15 minutes as Long does what he’s good at and outpaces the left back and the covering Watson and bustles to the bye line, pulling the ball back via a deflection to JWP who neatly passes it into the far corner of the net.  Get in.  Two goals in two games for JWP and now on a veritable streak.

Watford still look like they can’t be arsed and we manage to stay on the front foot with Wesley striding up from the back and trying a ridiculous 40 yarder.  For a second it looks like it’s over Gomes but he gets back to tip it over.  Great effort though.  We have to capitalise on the opposition not being at it and Tadic, back in his best position on the left, skins Janmaat and sends the ball low across the six yard box but unfortunately it goes to Long who for a split second has an open goal but after deciding not to take it first time and take a touch, a covering defender blocks the half hit shot easily.

The Watford fans are getting really pissed off with their team and are grumbling at their manager as well as he’s hooked Cleverley after half an hour and their mood only gets worse on half time as a ball out of defence by Hoedt sends Long away on the left versus Wague.  Shane puts on the burners and is gone, squaring to Tadic in the middle who superbly tees up the arriving JWP and our main goalscoring threat buries it under Gomes to put us 2-0 up.  What the fuck is happening here?

Half time and a brief inspection of Twitter reveals thousands of Saints fans tweeting variations of “don’t fucking sit back”.  Surely to Christ we’re going to have learnt the lessons from all the other games we’ve thrown away.  Watford bring on Troy Deeney and stick him right up top with Andre Gray.  Silva obviously deciding to be pro-active and go for it now, rather than later.  We all know what’s coming – 4-4-2 Route 1, Mike Bassett.

The first ten minutes of the half confirm this and it’s worrying straight away as the balls start raining down on Deeney who is playing against Stephens who has shat his pants.  Retreat, retreat, retreat.

On the hour, a loose ball falls to Davo on the edge of our box and he tries to run it out, panics and then looks for the sideways ball which isn’t there and then loses it.  Deeney lays is square to Janmaat who belts one from the edge of the box with McCarthy superbly tips onto the bar and it flies up in the air.  We have three defenders in the vicinity compared to Watford’s one attacker but guess who reacts first and Gray heads down and in to make it 2-1 with half an hour to go.  If you were a better man you would put money on us losing now.

Having overseen the game completely change in Watford’s favour, Pellegrino makes what is basically a like for like swap with Lemina on for Davis.  Nothing else changes and we just give the ball away and Watford are all over us.  Corners and crosses come into our box and we just don’t compete for them and it’s left to McCarthy to be the only decisive one in there, coming out and claiming crosses well.  We are getting deeper and deeper and in addition, we are not stopping crosses coming into our box.  Silva is proactive again to try and force the issue and on comes Okaka who is another big unit to play up front.  He immediately starts roughing people up and the smell coming out of Stephens shorts is now ridiculous.  We get away with one with ten to go as more chaos in our box and Romeu falls over, taking the opportunity to grab and hold Okaka's shirt.  Clear penalty really but those aren't getting given now for some reason.

Stephens and Hoedt for that matter may as well not be there regarding winning the ball as Deeney wins everything but somehow we get to the 90^th minute still 1-0 up and then it happens.  A huge cross under no pressure from the right, Stephens falls on his arse and doesn’t even challenge Deeney who heads across and Doucoure messily bundles it into the net as McCarthy seems to bottle it.  All of our players are appealing for handball and the first replay confirms it.  McCarthy has left the ball because Doucoure isn’t getting it and then the Watford man punches it into the net.  Well spotted Roger East and linesman. 2-2 and nail in the coffin and another Pellegrino master class.

It’s not the end though as there’s a couple of minutes to go and the fucking idiot makes a double substitution to try and win it with Sims and Boufal coming on for JWP and Tadic.  He even delays taking JWP off because we have a set piece to take – so why are you taking him off if you want him to take all the set pieces then you fucking twat.  Enjoy your two minutes lads – I bet the ban counters are happy with having to pay out two appearance bonuses for that.

An interesting theme that keeps cropping up over the last few months has been the parallels between this season and the last time we get relegated out of the Premier League in 2004/5. The main similarity has been at the wasted points where we let in goals in the last few minutes and the games against weaker teams in the division where we didn’t win when we really should have done.

Another parallel is the fact that I’m almost feeling completely numb about the whole thing. When the second goal went in for Watford, the ball hit the net and I kind of just shrugged my shoulders because everyone could see it coming and you knew it was going to come. From the start of the second half, Saints just went further and further back with the manager not reacting to Watford’s change of shape and let’s be honest, it is not rocket science and once again, and opposition manager didn’t have to do anything particularly scientific to baffle our team and manager. Put on the second striker and lump it forward. Anyone who watched the Mike Bassett film could have implemented those tactics but it was beyond Pellegrino to do anything about it. Let’s face it, he’s faced this change a few times now in English football and it just doesn’t matter. Move the defence up and move the strikers away from our goal.  Deeney and Okaka aren't quick so they aren't going to run behind you and their headers will drop into midfield rather than onto the penalty spot.  It's not hard.

We and specifically Pellegrino totally fail to adapt. It's not just him though - where are the leaders ont he pitch.  Where's the centre back moving the defensive line into the right place. Pellegrino was an international centre back for fuck sake.  Mind you, it is not Pellegrino‘s fault that he has to pick Jack Stephens as a central defender, a central defender who cannot hit the ball. He has lots of other qualities but he can’t head the ball. At the other end of the pitch, we have a striker who cannot score a goal. He does loads of other good stuff but he cannot score a goal and surely a striker who cannot score a goal and the central defender who cannot head a ball is like having a goalkeeper who can’t catch or midfield player who can’t pass the ball. If we push the defence up then Deeney can win as many headers as he likes. He says that he tried to adapt by bringing Lemina on for Davis and dropping Romeu to just in front of the central defenders -basically retreating.

Whilst we’re on the subject of Davis, he really adds nothing to the team at the moment. Nothing going forward and nothing defensively. Apart from Pellegrino not reacting to when Watford changed the shape, the biggest single factor why we didn’t win today was Davis piss-assing around with the ball in midfield and losing it which led directly to the first goal.

The positives today start with the authoritative Alex McCarthy in goal. Commanding the penalty area like a goalkeeper is supposed to do, I now hold my hands up and admit I was wrong about him and he does look a much better all round keeper then Fraser Forster does. JWP got two more goals and he needs to keep this going and aim to school seven or eight by the end of the season. Though I am not his biggest fan and was punching the wall when I saw his name on the team sheet, Tadic had a good game in the first half, mainly because he managed to find himself some space, usually on the left hand side. What a surprise, the left footed player is better on the left. To be fair, he did turn up right across the pitch in the first half and contributed well everywhere. Shane Long what’s the usual 100% effort having a major hand in both of the goals but he was also 100% predictable when trying to stick the ball in the net himself. A decent striker smashes that in the net first time instead of taking a touch and allowing a defender to block.

So I’ve managed to write this much post-match without mentioning the handball. How in the name of fuck do both the referee and the linesman miss possibly the most obvious handball ever. It’s not as if it was a slight deflection. He is basically caught the ball one-handed and then threw it in the net. There are two movements, a first to stop the ball as it came across and a second to push it into the net. The question is been raised as to whether Doucoure should face a charge for deceiving the referee successfully. Well of course he fucking should. He’s deliberate put it in the net with his hand.

After the game, the conversation was all about VAR and whether it should be rushed in because that fits the current narrative. There is no way however that you can say that the result was unfair nand in no way should the VAR chat detract away from the fact that Pellegrino is fucking useless.  Watford deserved a point for the way they had come out in the second half and the way the manager was proactive. Saints didn’t deserve to win because of the way we totally sat back in the second half and because of the way our manager did absolutely fuck all. What other manager in the history of football makes two game changing substitutions in the 92nd minute. By game changing, I mean substitutes that are not designed to just waste time.

So, what have we learnt from today? Probably nothing that we didn’t know already. It’s nothing new but it has been reinforced the Pellegrino does not have the slightest fucking clue what he’s doing and he should be sacked straight away. We have also had it reinforced that we need new players with a centre back and central striker being absolutely vital. We know that Pellegrino will have learned absolutely nothing because he’s been taught the same lesson six or seven times already this season and he carries on doing the same things. We’ve learnt that Doucoure is a fucking cheat. It’s all very well saying well what if one of our players had done it. The fact remains that it wasn’t one of our players who did it and Doucoure is a fucking cheat. However, if that goal means that Pellegrino gets sacked then Doucoure will have actually made a positive effect on our season. The board have to be decisive and get rid of the idiot now. It is not too late but if he is still in charge by the time we play Brighton at home then it will be too late and we will be playing football in the championship next season.

Hello Mr Gao – your investment is going to shit!