Premier League Match 13 - Southampton 4 Everton 1

Williams Decides to Jump, Two Seconds After the Ball Hit The Net

We all like to think that we are good at predicting things regarding Premier League football but the fact remains that most of us are complete shite at it. I am certainly in that category and so is anyone else who hasn't made millions betting on the football. No matter how shite you are at predicting outcomes, no one would be predicting that a game between fucking boring Southampton and absolutely crap Everton would be anything other than completely dull. There was a chance I guess that both teams would be so bad that it was somehow end up being entertaining as the crapness cancelled eachother out but it was unlikely. We can't score  and nor can they.

Everton's demise this season has been lamented by some but for the Saints fans with memories longer than 18 months, seeing Everton struggle near the bottom of the league has been fucking hilarious. To anyone who remembers the summer of 2016 when Ronald Koeman left to join Everton and anyone who was on the receiving end of the tirade of gloating and abuse that came down from Merseyside - it is positively delicious that they are crap and Koeman has been sacked. Everton had this reputation of being the “peoples club” and of being classy and of doing things the right way but the fact remains that as soon as they got with of massive investment from Fahad Moshiri, a lot of their fans forgot themselves completely and became no better than your average Liverpool, Chelsea or Manchester City fan in basking in their wealth and talking like Billy Big Bollocks and losing any trace of humility.

The powers that be at Everton were obviously not ready to handle having loads of money to spend either, as they pissed it away. First of all they signed Wayne Rooney for sentimental reasons and then they signed Gylfi Sigurdsson from Swansea because they wanted to make a statement about how big the dick was that they were waving around these days so they overpaid massively and spent £45 million. It didn't seem to occur to anybody that Rooney and Sigurdsson play in exactly the same position and they also still have Ross Barkley and they also have Davy Klaasen who they paid a fortune for at the same time.  So, they signed 3 players to replace their best player who they didn’t sell in the end.   They of course sold their 25 goals a season striker and didn’t replace him.  Basically, they should never have signed Rooney because doing things on sentiment never works and once they had, they should not have signed Sigurdsson even though he is a decent player but the desire the wave the dick around was strong. Elsewhere in the team they overpaid for Michael Keane and they even overpaid for Cuco Martina even though it was a free transfer. Cuco is so shit that he is the sort of player he should be paying £2.50 subs a week in order to get a game.

After Koeman got sacked, they appointed David Unsworth as caretaker manager.  David Unsworth doesn’t look like the ex-Everton player of the same name but he looks like he’s eaten him.  Joey Barton, now residing in the media whilst his betting ban runs down, describes Unsworth as similar to a fat PE teacher it was basically not at all qualified to be in charge of a Premier League football team. No I don't always agree with Joey Barton but this description is pretty much spot on.

Everything has been relatively quiet at St Mary's during the week as everyone digested the full horror of the performance against Liverpool. There simply had to be changes this week as this game against Everton was absolutely vital with a sure-fire defeat against Manchester City coming up in just three days time.

So a Sunday at 1:30 PM kick-off. What a pain in the fucking arse that is. My commitments as coach to my sons Under 14 football team meant that I was in Chandlers Ford for a 12 noon kick off.  In theory, the game should be finished at about 1:20 and then carnage to get St Mary's to see hopefully some of the first half.  In the event, I managed to blag a lift and we left Chandlers Ford at about 1.25pm, radio on and here is the team news. The name of Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg was the first one that jumped out as he been picked to cover for the suspended Oriol Romeu. The other headline news was that Charlie Austin was given his first start of the season. To be honest, he's not looked great in any of his substitute appearances so far this season but with the team having a lack of goals, why the fuck not? Nathan Redmond had dropped to the bench but bombproof Tadic had survived again despite an absolute shithouse of a performance up at Liverpool. Also, at long last, it seems that Pellegrino has decided to ditch the centre back rotation and so it's double Dutch with Hoedt partnering Virgil.

With JWP in the side you at least always feel that there is a chance from a set piece and that’s the first action as he swings one in and it causes carnage, hits Jagielka and bounces off forcing Pickford to save.  Another set piece, a corner this time and the ball drops to Austin who volleys over on the stretch

(I’m in Stoneham - "what's the best way then?")

Saints are trying to play at a higher tempo it seems with Hojbjerg putting himself about strongly.  We’re also playing with confidence and zipping it about which brings it’s own dangers and so it proves when Tadic attempts to pass first time back to the midfield and succeeds only in giving it to Lennon and the ball eventually gets worked to Mirallas who fires wide.

(Swaythling by-pass, North – “what’s the speed limit down here?”)

In the main though it’s all Saints with Hojbjerg and Davis ruling the midfield against Gueye and Schneiderlin.  Hojbjerg sprays a ball from left to right to Cedric who plays a give and go with JWP.  Cedric is 2^nd favourite for the return ball but he uses every bit of his 5 foot nothing, 7 stone frame to shove Sigurdsson off the ball and cross to where Austin slides in, like a bloke desperately trying to make last orders before the pub shuts and diverts it onto the post and wide.

(Empress Road Industrial Estate – “I bet the bastard train gates are down”)

Everton attack through Jonjo Kenny on our left and Boufal is working back strongly to win the ball off him near the goal line and play it out to Hojbjerg.  He eventually gets it to Austin, back to Bertrand on the left as we break and Bertie curls a lovely low first time ball behind the defence to Tadic who sorts his feet out and rolls the ball through Pickford and into the net.

(Mount Pleasant Train Gates – “where’s the fucking train”, “come on for fucks sake” etc)

The nearest defender to the opening goal was Leighton Baines who I’ve always thought was a crap defender but he’s pulled up so he has to go off and replaced by a really crap defender in Ashley Williams.  Old, slow and shit and not going to the World Cup.  The Everton reshuffle gives them 5 at the back with Lennon playing right wing back sort of. 

(We now arrive at the stadium – a steward outside has to unlock a big door to let us in.  A whole row has to stand up to let us get to our seats – my son is a full kit wanker in match kit – I think people understand why we’re late)

Meanwhile on the other side, a decent Saints break ends up with Davo cross and Michael Keane playing basketball as it bounces down off his outstretched arm.  I don’t know all the nuances of the handball rules these days but his arms are way away from his body and that should be a penalty.  The rules have been unclarified so many times now, the powers that be have succeeded in confusing everyone so no one gets angry any more.  We should score again as a JWP corner, won after Schneiderlin dallied in possession, skims off the head of Virgil and wide.

44 minutes and out of fucking nowhere, we overplay at the back, lose it on the left and the ball gets fed into Sigurdsson who turns away from Virgil and then arcs a superb shot over Fraser and it hits the bar, then the post, then bounces up onto the underside of the bar and then drops into the corner of the net.  Fuck off… great goal but they’ve done nothing to deserve that and the only reason he was there and not stranded out on the left was because Baines got injured.  Lucky bastards.

Half time and it’s disappointing to be going in at 1-1 but none the less, we’ve played well and it’s light years better than the Burnley performance to name but one.  All I want at the start of the second half is for us to come out with intent and that we do and it takes five minutes to retake the lead as we build down the left and Boufal pulls out a lovely lofted chip to put Bertrand in on the left behind Jagielka and his cross is met by Austin in front of the near post but he flicks his header back and it crashes off the underside of the bar and in before Pickford can move.  Get in there.

There is no response from Everton and we carry on looking dangerous, again bulding down the left which seems to have ground to a halt as Tadic fannies about with it but he gets a lucky break and is in again behind Jagielka and he has time to put over a delicious left footed cross and Austin has once again evaded the defenders and this time it’s a simple header down and into the net, so simple that he didn’t spill his pint at all. 3-1 and we might be onto something here.  Crosses into box to striker who can head the ball.

Over the next fifteen minutes or so, Everton have their least pathetic spell of the game but we look strong at the back with Hoedt and Virgil looking commanding and even Fraser looks confident.  Tadic and Austin are eventually subbed for Lemina and for some reason we’ve decided to play with a false-striker as Long is coming on.  Long has been brought on because of the extreme anti-pace in the Everton back 4 and it nearly works as Hoedt hoofs a clearance out to the left, Jagielka fucks it up and Long burns him up, cutting in from the left and actually getting a curling effort on target which Pickford pushes wide.  He should have passed to JWP who had a tap-in but never mind.

With 5 to go, Yoshida is on for Boufal, meaning we’ve gone to 3 at the back which is interesting for future plans and we put it to bed in the last minute as JWP plays the ball to Cedric on the right, takes the return pass with a superb bit of control and sends it in to Goal Machine Steve Davis who takes a touch and then rips a right footed shot across Pickford and into the net.  It’s all a bit surreal, 4 goals from open play and Davo smashes one in from the edge of the box.

I haven't had many opportunities for a while to write about an enjoyable game but that was really an enjoyable game, even though I only saw 65 minutes of it. I saw more enterprising attacking football in those 65 minutes then I've seen in every game I've watched for the last year. We really were excellent all over the park with a higher tempo and some threat at the end of our build up play. At the centre of it all was Pierre Hojbjerg who totally bossed the middle of the park, winning tackles headers and basically never wasting a ball. It makes me laugh to think that two managers have pissed around trying to make a defensive midfielder out of Steve Davis and JWP, when we've had Hojbjerg sat in the wings, waiting for a chance.  The biggest compliment I can pay there is that we didn't miss Romeu or Lemina at all today.

Now Charlie Austin isn’t everyone's cup of tea and I still have a few reservations about the guy but he is the most suitable forward for the way that we play. Its fucking obvious but if you are going to put crosses into the box that you need someone who at least has a decent chance of heading the ball and hitting the target. Charlie certainly knows where the goal is. His first goal was a brilliant almost instinctive header and the second goal was easy but it wouldn't have been easy for either of our other strikers so full marks to the big guy and let's just hope we can stay fit and get fitter.  I've said before that when he comes on as a substitute he looks like a drunk lurching around an empty pub at closing time but starting the game seem to have some sort of psychological effect on him as he looked like a proper player from the first whistle.

Another fringe player who got a chance today was JWP and he had a superb game on the right hand side both helping the defensive effort and getting good crosses into the box. Every time I see him taking corners and free kicks I think that we simply have to find some place for him in the side because he said he's delivery virtually warrants that on its own. Whilst he didn't score or directly assist, Sofiane Boufal played like a genius and the run of games is certainly benefiting him.   The little touches and flicks were spot on and, the best of which being the deft chip over the defender to help set up the second goal.  It was an improved performance as well from Ryan Bertrand at left back who created two goals, was a constant threat and most surprisingly, actually looked happy to be out there.  Cedric on the other side of the pitch certainly looked very determined today never illustrated more than when he barged Sigurdsson over before putting over the which Austin hit the post with.

The slight caveat to all of this praise is that Everton were fucking atrocious. It's not that they've got bad players… actually scrap that… they do have some bad players like Ashley Williams who is fucking garbage but the main problem seems to be their organisation and lack of effort.  They've got a couple of youngsters in the side like Jonjo Kenny and Dominic Calvert Lewin and they need to senior players to step up to help them but none of the senior players did a thing. Chief amongst those was Morgan Schneiderlin who looked an absolute pale limitation of the player that left Saints to join Manchester United three years ago.  It's a shame and it wasn't one of the more predictable ones, but he's gone backwards as a footballer since he left Southampton.

The best laugh with Everton was that defence. Trying to play 70 minutes with 48-year-old Phil Jagielka as a kind of right back, the slow and shit Ashley Williams at centre back with the slow and extremely overrated Michael Keane and a right-footed 18-year-old at left back. If anything, you would have expected Williams and Keane to be decent in the air but the two goals that Austin scored both featured hilariously bad defending. On both goals the cross came in, Williams got caught under the ball and Keane didn't come across far enough or do anything at all so in both cases Charlie had a free header, Goal, thank you very much.

So it was a good day for Mauricio Pellegrino. Though I was a little unsure when I saw the team, you have to say that he got it right. He now has one of those nice problems in that he has a starting 11 putting in our best performance of the season and neither Romeu or Lemina were in it. Who plays and who gets left out? It was also interesting to see that we went to 3 at the back for the last 10 minutes when the game was already won. Maybe that was a little practice with the game at Manchester City coming up on Wednesday. That game is absolutely free hit as they have one all bar one of the games this season. Ironically, the only team that I've taken a pint of them are Everton.

We’re up to 10^th in the league and it’s remarkable how much better everything seems.  Hopefully, the shocker at Liverpool had the desired effect to make everyone wake up. This was one we had to win and we did so happy days.  The almost inevitable defeat at City shouldn’t bring us down too much and so we’ll go into the next big game against the Dorset Powerhouses in good spirits.

 David Unsworth - Sorry, Wrong Fat Manager

Premier League Match 12 - Liverpool 3 Southampton 0

Brains Trust

Today brings a trip to Anfield and boy is it hard to get excited about that. A while ago I would've been looking forward to going there with a real chance of rubbing the Scouse noses in it again as we came away with another good result. There was a good chance of being able to say that we’ve still got van Dijk and you still can’t beat us…. For some reason, I'm not particularly confident this time because, to be frank, we are pretty shite at the moment. There has been another international break and therefore another two weeks for Mauricio Pellegrino to come up with something different as they ‘do the same thing’ approach is really not doing us very well. After the abysmal performances against Brighton and Burnley, the hope was that Pellegrino would relish in the role of being the underdog and prepare something that will give us a chance of getting a result at Anfield. This was the hope anyway and that's all it was-a hope. There was no logical basis to this as so far Pellegrino has not shown us anything at all.

Of course it’s the Saints versus the ex-Saints.  That line is really really boring but it’s a definte sub-plot today.  I’m of the opinion now that we should have sold Virgil in the summer and any other fucker who didn’t want to be here any more – not to Liverpool but we should have got rid.  It’s just one of our many problems.  I still don’t want us to sell to Liverpool and Harold Shipman-Klopp and because our board says absolutely nothing, we have no idea whether we will do business with Liverpool again.  It doesn’t stop the Liverpool fans being the most annoying sub-species on the planet.  YNWA, Welcome to Anfield, Twats.

So, international break and England had a couple of internationals, both ending in creditable 0-0 draws at home to Germany and at home to Brazil. There were some young players thrown into the side and Ruben Loftus Cheek and Joe Gomez in particular did very well. Loftus Cheek’s man of the match performance against Germany was particularly interesting as it laid to waste Chelsea’s argument that they do not have enough players as they’ve loaned him out to Crystal Palace for the season. Gareth Southgate said afterwards that Loftus Cheek is not the most confident because he doesn't seem to realise that despite being a big strapping lad that he's good enough to play against physically imposing players from the opposition. This is because he's reached the age of 21 without playing anything other than fucking age group football for Chelsea until this season. Our refusal to acknowledge that there is a fucking massive problem with teams like Chelsea stockpiling players and preventing them from playing a decent standard of football is about as ridiculous as the Gun lobby fuckwits in America not acknowledging the throwing guns into the mix means that a lot more people get massacred. Anyway, I came out of this international break quite impressed by Southgate and his willingness to leave out the underperforming big names like Sturridge and Oxlade-Chamberlain and go with some of the youngsters. One can only hope that he has the bottle to do it in the World Cup itself and players like the two already mentioned and the utterly shit Jordan Henderson can watch on TV from home.

If only Saints had a manager who was prepared to shake it up a bit and drop the underperforming players. As the team news filtered through, some things stood out as being annoying. One was that he'd done the Yoshida/Hoedt rotation thing again which is fucking ridiculous. The next was that to Dusan Tadic still hasn’t done enough to get left out for a game and oh look, the spearhead of our attacking effort is Shane ‘Run and Jump’. For fuck's sake – that’s not a spearhead, it’s a fucking spoon. How the fucking hell are we going to get a result with that line-up? Still, Virgil is playing – I’d have put money on him picking up a little knock on international duty.

Every pundit who ever comments about Liverpool mentions that the left side of their defence, Lovren and Moreno are dodgy and the other two defenders are Klavan who is shit and Alexander-Arnold who is a kid.  Behind them you have Mignolet who is not the best either.  All of their strength is in attack with Mané, Firmino, Salah and Coutinho so what are we going to do – be bold and go for their weaknesses or set up because we’re petrified fo their strengths.  I think I know the answer to that one.

Pellegrino of course played a few games for Liverpool when he was coming to the end of his career and ended up as Rafa Benitez’ assistant when he hung up his boots.  That was when Benitez was losing the plot so that may well explain a lot.

Here goes nothing then and straight from the kick off it’s all Liverpool with us being posted in the 4-5-60 yards-Shane formation.  Though we are defending solidly there’s an immediate problem apparent in that if we get the ball up the other end and try to press, we’re doing it with 4 players who are not the most imposing – Boufal, Davis, Tadic and Redmond.  Liverpool invariably pass through that particular wall of steel and then it’s down to Romeu trying to run four different directions at once.

A ball gets played into our box and there’s boots flashing at it and Fraser goes juggling without any conviction and we get away with it in shambolic fashion.  There’s a warning shot when Mané gets a cross in from their left and Salah hooks it wide at the far post.  Then Wijnaldum comes from deep and escapes anyone’s attention and gets a shot in which Fraser comfortably saves.

A corner for Liverpool on 20 minutes and it’s deep to the back post and Virgil heads clear well to Tadic.  He really should complete the clearance and hit it towards Shane but sideways and backwards comes into play and he tries to find space and dribble across the top of our own penalty area and loses it to Firmino.  A couple of quick positive passes and Salah gets it on the right and curls it left footed past Fraser and into the far corner.  Bollocks.  Well played Tadic.

On our bench, Pellegrino is throwing his arms in the air whilst Black and the curly haired bloke who looks like he might be Sam McQueen’s dad look on impassively.  That’s our Brains Trust right there.  Ten minutes later it gets even worse as Coutinho easily puts a straight ball through our defence into the big gap that Virgil has vacated and Salah is quickest onto it and lifts it easily over Forster who has come out too late.  2-0 and the game is completely over and you can say that with confidence as there is nothing in our performance so far this season to suggest we’ll get back into it and the Brains Trust on the bench don’t look like they’ve had a good idea between them ever.

In a rare moment of intent, we win a corner and though it’s cleared, we recycle it to Virgil in the centre forward position and he gets cleaned out by Lovren and a million Scouse fanboys are dreaming of him having to apologise for that in January.  The free kick is 30 yards out and just right of centre and Bertrand’s effort looks good and Mignolet is scrambling across as it curls just wide.  Half time, 2-0 down and the game’s over.

The team talk from the manager has resulted in about five minutes of effort and we get Boufal in on the left and running at the defence but his final shot is blocked by Dejan the Bastard.  That’s about as good as it got as Liverpool took over and just bo

ssed it.  Firmino gets through on goal and though he takes an age to get out, Fraser manages to block it.

Pellegrino positively throws caution to the wind by taking the useless Tadic off and putting on Austin.  Rather than going with two up top though, Long gets pulled over the the right with Redmond going left and Boufal into the middle.  Nothing much happens and we’re still shite and it’s just a matter of time before Liverpool score again and sure enough it comes when Mané plays a superb reverse ball through the defence.  He can do this because he has forward runners and Firmino is onto it and he smashes it at Fraser who stands there as the ball cannons off him and boucnes straight to Coutinho who is free in the box despite us having about 8 players back and he knocks it into the empty net.  Absolute wank.

Nothing happens for the rest of the game.  We’re not capable of doing anything and Liverpool have done what they need to do and start taking off key players to save them for their next game.  It’s embarrassing.  JWP is on for Boufal and he slings in a good free kick which flicks off of Long which prevents Austin heading it and the game ends with Firmino taking the piss as he ran through our defence before passing it just wide.  I was kind of disappointed it missed because if you can hide things at 3-0, you can’t at 4-0 – it sounds much much worse.

Just before the game started, my 13-year-old son asked me what I thought would happen and I said that either Pellegrino would come to the fore and we’ll put on a defensive masterclass or infinitely more likely, we go out to defend the shit out of it, let in a goal and then do absolutely nothing to try and get back into the game and fuck me, that's exactly what happened. Anyone can get beaten 3-0 at Liverpool and that's not the problem and itself, the problem was in the manner of the performance which was absolutely fucking useless. We probably lost as soon as he announced the team with Steve Davis yet again shoehorned into the defensive midfield position that just doesn't not suit him. Once again, Tadic and Redmond were picked despite having done absolutely nothing to justify continued selection and then there is Shane Long. I do not fucking care how much he runs about. As a striker, let alone a solo striker, he is fucking useless at the moment. Playing with Shane Long in his current form as a lone striker is like trying to open a tin of beans with a fucking spoon. 

Pellegrino is obviously now playing at Van Dijk every game and rotating Yoshida and Hoedt to partner him. What the fuck is that all about other than giving Virgil continued game time to keep his value up for the inevitable sale in January or at the end of the year. It really is not doing the team any favours whatsoever. Not only that, Mr Tactician has managed to do the rotation so Yoshida plays against Burnley with all the big brawny strikers and Hoedt plays against Liverpool with all the small nippy strikers. It's beyond a fucking joke, it really is. If he's been told to do that then he's got absolutely no self-respect if he goes along with it. If he is deciding to do this because he wants to keep all the players happy then you should be fucking fired immediately. This is top level sport we talking about here. A multi-million pound business with people spending vast amounts of money to go and watch the game and he's picking a team on sentiment. Fuck off.  Whatever way you look at it, Pellegrino is contribution to today was fucking shambolic.

All three goals that we let in today were absolutely horrific and down to the players. So we have a game plan of keeping things tight probably for the whole of 90 minutes and what does Tadic do - dribble across the top of his own penalty area and lose the fucking ball. One pass, goal. Fucking wanker. Not content with contributing fuck all at the opponents end of the pitch is now come back to do damage in our own half.  For fuck's sake, why the fuck is he still in the team? Needless to say, he made up for it by contributing absolutely fuck all for the rest of the game before he got substituted.   Word has it that he gets picked because he’s a decent defender for a winger so why was he not on the left defending against Alexander-Arnold who was rapid.  Why was Boufal out there instead of infield.  I guess Mr Tactician knows,

For the second goal, Virgil went walkabout he was about 15 yards out of position.  The pass through from Coutinho was into the space where he should've been and Hoedt couldn't get across as quick as Salah did. It’s just a basic lack of concentration and positional discipline.

No Wonder He's Out of Position

Then we had the third goal which is another one to add to the Fraser Forster disaster highlights real. What gets me about this is that when he blocks the initial shot, he does it by just standing there and letting the ball hit him. There is no attempt to use his hands whatsoever to stop the ball to the ball hits him and bounces out into the middle of the penalty area where Coutinho, who has run off the back of Davis, rolls it into an empty net. One, you don't shovel it straight back out into the middle of the penalty area and two, you use your fucking hands for Christs sake. This is something that I noticed first in the EFL cup final where Ibrahimovic scored the header from admittedly very close to him but he hasn't even got his hands up he's not from the big starfish shape to try make yourself as biggest possible it's just stood there with his hands down and the ball hit the net before he moves them and it's exactly the same with the shot today he's just started the ball smashed into him and he hasn't even tried to use his hands I do not get it at all. 

If Liverpool had needed to win by more today then they certainly could've done. They were substituting players at the end to save them for a Champions League match in midweek as it was that easy for them. We were fucking rubbish as an attacking threat and it was another game with zero shots on target. The closest we came was from the Bertrand free-kick which was earned by one of our defenders getting fouled. Other than that we did absolutely fuck all.

Pellegrino gave a shocking interview during the week when he said we have been playing well and we need to carry on doing the same things and everything would be fine. Whilst that is obviously complete shit or the ramblings of a complete madman, it was refreshing to see Nathan Redmond interviewed after the game where he basically said that it was not good enough. Cedric has also come out and said that our attitude was shit once we went behind.  Finally some honesty.  It's not just about defensive mistakes, the whole of the performance was not fucking good enough. If the players are recognising it but the manager isn't it really makes you wonder for how much longer the manager is going to be listened to by the players, if he is still being listened to at the moment.

It is not just down to the manager though. In my opinion our squad going forward is fucking dreadful. We have one attacker who is fit for purpose but not in the way that we use him. We have one striker who is not fit and we have one striker who just runs around and it's fucking rubbish. We have no pace upfront and no I'm not counting Shane Long because he's fucking useless and we also have no option to go to a big guy upfront who could hold the ball up and bring others into play. Where are all of you Graziano haters now?

As for attacking midfielders or creative players – well we have Boufal and Redmond who have the odd moment and we have Tadic who has absolutely none but he's the one who always gets packed. We sometimes play Steve Davis as an attacking midfielder but he has barely got a goal or assist in him so what the fuck is going on there? Yes we missed Lemina in midfield but the deficiencies of the forward players are going to drag us right into relegation battle. Where is Les Reed at the moment to explain why the fuck we didn't sign any strikers in the summer? Was selling J-Rod really going to be the catalyst for us to suddenly score enough goals to be comfortable in this division? Of course it fucking wasn't. We need a fit for purpose striker and we need some proper creative midfielders who can pass the bastard ball forwards. Until then I suggest we give Hojbjerg and JWP a go because they can’t be any worse.

On top of that we don't have anyone to provide credible back up for our clearly struggling goalkeeper. The work that has been done on the squad which we are led to believe it is down to Les Reed and Ross Wilson has been pretty substandard for the last two summers. Whilst we’re on the subject of Les, Where was that statement from him saying the Pellegrino was going to play fast paced attacking football and still play the youngsters. 0% of that has come true and Pellegrino must be on very thin ice. 

Coming up we have three games in a week at home to Everton and away to Manchester City and Bournemouth. At the moment you would predict that we would get one point at most from those three games and that is just simply not going to be good enough. The mood amongst the fan base is very toxic at the moment and if we don't manage to beat Everton at home I can see it getting even worse and I don't see how Pellegrino could survive that and this is before we go to Manchester City and get an inevitable rogering by 4 or 5.

The bottom line is that in a run of incredibly favourable fixtures, Pellegrino has not shown any sign of even being competent, let alone of being a decent manager for this football club. He does seem to be completely out of his depth, is paralysed by fear and totally uninspiring. I hate being one of those fans that calls for a change of manager after so few games but there is at present absolutely nothing redeeming that I can see about Mauricio Pellegrino, nor the people who chose him.

Premier League Match 11 - Southampton 0 Burnley 1

Painfully Predictable Puellegrino's Piss Poor Performance

The fourth game of our mini-season within a season and we have Burnley at St.Mary’s.  Draws with Newcastle and Brighton and a win against West Brom have left us well short of a decent total of points from the three games so far so today was really as much of a ‘must win’ game as you could get at this stage of the season. 

Burnley are riding high in the league at the moment – being top of the also rans in 7th place due mainly to some dogged performances where they’ve won 1-0 with a late goal.  They’re very well organized and exactly the kind of team you know that we’re going to struggle to score against.  Sean Dyche has been there 5 years but maybe not for much longer as he is being strongly linked with the Everton poison chalice as rumour has it that they’re persuing their policy of appointing the manager of the team who finished where they want to be.  Worked out well last time Everton didn’t it…. Still, massive club, massive history etc.

We know what’s coming today with the focus being on Burnley’s striker who are Saints fan Sam Vokes, Chris Wood and Ashley Barnes.  All three are big physical, 6 foot plus strikers.  Vokes was seen last season pogoing around in the Liverpool end when Shane Long scored the winner in the semi-final.  Respect to that man.  Another Saints connection is Jack Cork who rejoined Burnley after leaving Swansea in the summer.  He’s done well this season and is being talked up as a potential England call up again which is not as far fetched as it may sound when you consider that Jordan Henderson is the man in possession.

Post-Brighton has been interesting with the Daily Echo publishing an interview with Oriol Romeu where he hinted that the manager was telling the players that they had to always be thinking of defence when they were attacking.  On first reading it looked horrific but on reflection, maybe Oriol was only referring to his particular role in the team which as a defensive midfielder is fair enough.  However, I strongly suspect that the wingers are being reminded of their defensive responsibilities on a regular basis.  Wesley Hoedt was also pretty vocal in interviews about us not killing the game off when we had the chance.  It’s a good theory but it’s not happening with this manager.  The manager on the other hand was voicing his regret that the players didn’t go for it.  So, we have the players almost blaming the manager and the manager almost blaming the players.  Interesting and worrying times.

Having ditched the clappers for the West Brom game, they’re back today so mine is launched three rows down as soon as I get in the ground.  Mercifully, the three year old who kicked my chair all the way through the West Brom game and his oblivious father are not present today.  I look around the family stand and there are a lot of young kids there – I’m talking under the age of 10.  I wonder how many are going to keep coming if the entertainment on offer doesn’t improve.  My son has a mate who had a season ticket last year but didn’t renew it this year.  His dad was keen to renew it again but the kid just didn’t want to as he’d been bored watching Claude-ball last season.

Away we go and as is typical with Saints home games against sides who come to sit deep – nothing happened.  I mean nothing.  Short of a tumbleweed blowing across the pitch, there couldn’t have been less going on.  Desolate.  We had little intent but Burnley had absolutely none.  Chris Wood had Hendrick somewhere near him but he was useless and Wood was fighting a losing battle against Virgil and Maya.  Virgil had the cigar out when defending but it annoyed me that he wasn’t stepping into midfield, seemingly content to just knock it around.

Anyway, Bertrand fired over in a rare moment of interest and Boufal was buzzing around in the 10 role and looking lively.  He stands out because he has purpose and is looking to make things happen rather than just playing it safe.  Redmond suddenly wakes up and opos up on the right with his cross being headed upwards and Boufal connecting beyond the back post and volleying it into the ground and Pope had to tip it over at the near post.  That brief moment of excitement was dissipated by Davo’s corner not getting more than 5 foot off the ground.

We are awake though with Bertrand bursting forward, playing a 1-2 with Boufal and seeing his cross shot well held by the keeper.  Tadic then makes his first contribution for weeks with a run and cross and again it’s Bertrand hitting the shock which was well blocked by Tarkowski.  This is the most attacking 5 minutes we’ve had for months as Redmond skips past a couple of challenges as he cuts in and hits a good right foot shot which Pope does exceptionally well to get a strong hand to.  The bit before half time doesn’t detract from the utter garbage that went before but it’s enough to earn a bit of applause at half time.

The chances continue to come after half time with Cedric getting forward well, teeing up Tadic and his cross is good for Gabbiadini but he doesn’t get a clean head on it and it goes wide.  The the closest we have come as Bertrand sees a shot deflected over after good work to press and win the ball high from Gabbiadini and this time Davo gets the corner off the ground and Pope flaps it down to where Maya spins and volleys goalwards only for Pope to take off well and shovel it over the bar.  Great save – bastard.

Sean Dyche responds to the Saints pressure by removing Wood and Hendrick and sending on Vokes and Barnes so Burnley are now 4-4-2 which two big brutes up front.  The change in the flow of play is instant and Burnley have us under a bit of pressure.  The tactical magician that is Puellegrino responds by taking off our main goal threat in Gabbiadini and bringing on Charlie Austin who looks tired when he’s jogging onto the pitch.  I spent about a minute watching Gabbiadini in the second half when we were passing it around in front of Burnley’s midfield and he makes run, after run, after, run , after run.  He’s always on the move, then checking back when the ball doesn’t come and then running again.  Poor fucker.  I’d be glad to get off if I was him but it’s a horrendous substitution.  Then the idiot compounds it by bringing on Long for Tadic and now we’ve gone 4-4-2.  Why not Gabbi up front with someone instead of ‘Can’t run’ and ‘Can Only Run’.

Steve Davis MBE takes a Cedric pass and weaves across the top of the box before firing over left footed and then Burnley have their one attack,  The pour through our midfield, Cork feeds Gudmundsson on the right, he crosses it in with his left foot to near the penalty spot and Vokes manshames the static Yoshida and flicks a header down which speeds up off the turf and finds the bottom corner.  Fuck sake.

You know we’re fucked at this point and then the boos start for Fraser the next time he touches the ball.  Absolute wankers.  Fuck off and don’t come back.  I’d rather we played in front of 2000 less people than have you wankers as supporters.  A complete lack of knowledge and completely moronic.

Mr Puellegrino’s tactical nous dictates that Virgil should be launched up front but nothing is happening because the delivery isn’t good enough.  So, the final sub is to stick JWP on for Boufal when we win a corner as Boufal joins Gabbiadini on the “Biggest goal threats we have watching the game” bench.  A few minutes later and it’s over – again.  They’ve got near our goal once and won it.  It’s ridiculous and so utterly predictable.

The Boos were pretty loud at the final whistle. I don't know if I'm more pissed off with the players, the manager of the fans to be honest. I guess I'm okay with the ones who have waited to the final whistle to show their displeasure at things. To be honest, it wasn't really that bad until the last 20 minutes - actually, yes it was. It was fucking dreadful apart from about 10 minutes either side of half time.  We had a few shots today which in the context of what we’ve got used to in the last 8 months, was actually not bad.  It’s not really good enough though, not by a long chalk.

On first viewing, the goal looks like an unpressured across from the wing and a centre forward beating Yoshida in the air and perfectly placing the header in the bottom corner.   Vokes has attacked the ball with intent and Yoshida has more or less just not done the same and let him do it.  It's similar to Cedric against Glenn Murray last week but at least the midget tried and got a touch on it.  I have to say that from the other end I didn't feel that it wasn't the goalkeepers fault but the view from the bandwagon was that it was his fault. The in-game barracking of our goalkeeper is pathetic. The ironic cheering when he picks up a simple one etc.  I'm actually quite glad at times that I sit in the family stand because you are kind of insulated from that sort of dickhead. Some people do blame every goal in the keeper but they are usually under 6.  I have to say that if I was sat next to someone who was giving a load of shit to our own goalkeeper then I would struggle to keep my mouth shut.  As I've said before, I don't believe McCarthy would be better but it is worth considering that Nick Pope, the opposition goalkeeper today was excellent and made two or three really good saves.  He is their reserve keeper. Their first choice is the excellent Tom Heaton who is out injured.

Yeah, I had sick in my mouth as well 

One thing I do know though is that the manager got it completely wrong again. The non-selection of Wesley Hoedt against a team with three big physical strikers in their match day 18 is beyond a joke. Everyone around the club knows that Maya is not at is best against big physical strikers. We signed Wesley because we didn't have enough height in the team and he is an amazing header of the ball as borne out by the stats from all the main European leagues last season when he was near the top. That's twice this season that he has been dropped having done nothing wrong in the previous game. Puellegrino then made that decision even more of a joke by the moaning the fact that we were a very small, lightweight side in his post match interview. The fact that he is using this as an excuse shows that he knew about it from the start so why does he have the six-foot plus of Hoedt, Hojbjerg and Austin on the bench.

Our allegedly tactically innovative manager decided to match up Dyche and go with a 4-4-2 formation for the last 20 minutes but only after Dyche had done it first and changed the whole game. Sadly and obviously, in order to go 4-4-2, you have to have some physicality in midfield as you are basically playing with one less player in there. We, despite the manager knowing we are physically lightweight, tries to do it with Romeu but also with Boufal, Davis and Redmond. Three players who weigh about eight stone each and are about 5 foot seven.

In front of them we had Charlie Austin who doesn't even look like a footballer at the moment and we had Shane Long whose last goal was so long ago the match report was carved into a stone tablet.  He also took Gabbiadini off again. I expect Gabbi was quite pleased to come off given the shite service he had been given yet again but he's more likely to score with one pass again than Long is with 20 and at the moment he is the only striker we have who has a goal in him.   I tell you, Sam Vokes would have been a great signing for us in the summer and I wouldn’t be against getting him in January.  He’s not brilliant by any stretch of the imagination but he’d do a job and would he honestly be worse than Long or Austin?  I’m sure he’d rather be up front or on the bench for us rather than bench warming at Burnley.  He is just what we need to give us the option of actually pressurising the centre backs physically.

Anyway, back to Puellogrino and even the last minute desperation substitute was fucking retarded. I understand the want to get JWP on the pitch for a free-kick but why take Boufal off. Why not take Cedric off who had an absolutely diabolical game.  Is Puellegrino still worried about defending and keeping it tight when we are 1-0 down with a minute to go for fucks sake? Wouldn't it have been better to give Boufal the confidence of playing the full 90?

Yet again there aren't many positives from today. Despite continued questions about his attitude I thought Ryan Bertrand provided the odd moment, as did Boufal and Redmond but the positives were pretty thin on the fucking ground.  Boufal and Redmond are two players who are regularly the target of the prick element of our fanbase of course.

People often hark back to the good old days and wanting to go back in time to a time when things were better. Well, take it from a bloke who remembers Saints in the 1990s - we could well be in for a relegation battle this season so get ready for a few things. Get ready for looking down the fixture list and wondering where our next win is coming from and looking at the league table and trying desperately to find three teams who are worse than us. The good news is that you don’t have to do this on Ceefax.  That is the way it's going this season without something changing or without us getting some miraculous results in the next couple of months when we play all the big teams.  If the performance levels with the lack of goal threat carries on until Christmas, we are going to be very near the bottom three.  Currently, there are three teams worse than us – Palace, Swansea, West Brom.

Any manager, be it Puellegrino or anyone else is going to struggle with the current group of players that we have. The striker options are not good enough, we have an attitude problem in some players and we have a goalkeeper who is struggling and we don't have an adequate replacement. They do appear to be plenty of ways that we could get more out of the current squad however. Far from being tactically flexible or innovative, Puellegrino seems to be a bit clueless to be honest. Personally, I think he is now in a position where he simply has to get some headline wins in the next couple of months. In amongst all the big boys, we have matches against Bournemouth, Everton and Leicester and the pressure to get at least seven points from those three games is going to be huge and we are not going to get seven points from these games by doing the same things that we have been doing it since the start of the season.

Wouldn't it be ironic if Claude Puel's Leicester give us a tactical doing over and that proves to be the last nail in the Puellegrino coffin.  We’re going back to the good old days and normal service has been resumed and Saints are crap again.

Pellegrino 10 Games In

Mr Gao Looking for the Entertainment

10 games into the season and where are we and where are we going?  Let’s just say that we are playing in the same way and getting the same standard of results as we got post-Wembley under Claude Puel and we can’t ye know where we are going – obviously.

I saw a decent article posted on a Saints blog called the Archers Road End, which posed the question ‘What were the Board’s expectations for the season?’. Personally I thought at the start of the season that the target would be Top 7 and therefore Europa League qualification and entertaining football. One reason I thought that is because we didn’t sell anyone and another was Ralph Krueger’s bullish response to the Virgil sale bandwagon - “when the window closes people will see how serious we are”.  I took then non-selling as a statement of us being done with operating like that and now, with players on longer term contracts, we want to push on and just tweak things rather than having to replace 3 or 4 key players every summer.  I thought it was an acceptance by the board that running to stand still wasn’t going to be the way any more.  So, we didn’t sell Virgil van Dijk or Ryan Bertrand when we clearly could have done. I know it baffled the media because up until the day the transfer window closed, ‘Southampton always sell, it’s what they do’ was often heard and read.  I t was annoying to see or read that but you have to say, it’s been the truth up until now.

So why did we change tack if not to challenge higher? I can’t believe that a decision was made based on fans getting fed up with players leaving so it must have been the expectation to challenge higher. That theory falls down a bit when you look at the fact that we didn’t sign any attacking players and decided to make do with what we had but then maybe that was because they expected what we had to do better this season. Feasibly you could have expected Redmond to get better as he’s young and Gabbiadini and Boufal to improve with acclimatisation to the English game. You would also expect Austin to stay fit for longer and that Tadic couldn’t possibly be as ineffective as last season. Maybe the end of the transfer window was compromised a bit by the sale of the club to Mr Gao.

On the other hand, Mauricio Pellegrino’s assertion that he was hoping for 17 points from our first 10 games doesn’t support the theory of lofty ambitions. For that we would have needed 21 points plus from 6 home games and 4 aways where only one game has been against one of the big boys. Losing at home to Watford, drawing at home to Newcastle and Swansea and failing to beat either Huddersfield or Brighton away.  For me, we’ve left 8-10 points behind there.

I liked the fact that we stood up to the big boys and didn’t sell players but hindsight is 20/20.  I reckoned without the mindset of the modern player which appears to be getting worse with each passing season and after the opening 10 games, I’m beginning to think that maybe for our own benefit that it would have been better to sell the aforementioned van Dijk (not to Liverpool on principle) and Bertrand and reinvested the £100m-ish that they would have brought in. We sign players and make them better. The players see that and want to play for Southampton but we are not the final destination and we never will be in todays game. If a player comes on the radar of a big club then the player is going to want to go... and if we don’t sell them for a huge fee them then more often than not there’s going to be a tail off and a negative effect on Southampton FC.  For every Schneiderlin who got his head down and had a great season, there’s a Wanyama who played like he didn’t care.

Would we be in a worse league position if Sam McQueen had played left back and Wesley Hoedt hadn’t been left out to accommodate Virgil? Probably not. Would we be in a better league position if we’d invested £100 million on midfielders and attackers? Can’t say for sure but I’d say that it is extremely likely.  You also can’t underestimate the effect of having 11 players out on the pitch who really want to be there and are invested mentally in what the club is about.

Hang on a minute.... in my little scenario there, Pellegrino is still the manager. He’s come in with his best achievement being taking Alaves to mid table in the Spanish league and getting to a Cup Final. Alaves are the Spanish equivalent of Bournemouth - a traditionally small club who have done remarkably well to get in the top division. He achieved his Alaves success by playing very dour defensive football. Saints are already an established mid-table side with an entertainment problem so we didn’t need what Pellegrino had provided so far in his managerial career. Les Reed will have known this and therefore will have been expected Pellegrino to improve on that and grow as a manager like the relatively unheralded players we brought in.   Is Pellegrino a Sadio Mané or is he a Juanmi? 

Early signs are not great. He seems to be throwing a number of theories at the wall and hoping it sticks but everything seems to be based on fear or caution. He would rather pick a side that was safe and solid and dull rather than one that was a little bit unpredictable, exciting and might be brilliant.   Another stick that could be used to hit him with is that the Academy graduates, the pride of the club and major selling point, are not being picked this season and I think this is probably down to inbuilt caution in the manager.   Claude Puel played the youngsters whilst we were in the Europa League but as soon as we were out then in the main, he didn't.  

With Mauricio Pellegrino,  I think that if you’d offered him 36 1-1 draws at the start of the season which meant we stayed up then he’d have taken it. I can’t imagine that was what was wanted at Board level at the start of the season. Does Mr Gao want to be entertained? At least a bit? Or maybe he doesn’t care as long as we’re in the Premier League.

Our attitude in games against teams we should be beating has been very disappointing.  The basic theory that it’s better to win one, draw one and lose one than to draw all three seems to be lost on Saints and on a number of teams in the Premier League.  Three points for a win was brought in back in the day to make teams go for it more – maybe it needs to be 4 points for a win – however, a lot of managers would think their best chance of winning would be to bore the hell out of everyone for 85 minutes and then hope for a free kick.

At the moment, it’s hard not to see a season ahead which is exactly like the last one only without a cup final and finishing lower than 8th. With no tangible improvement, Pellegrino will undoubtedly be sleepwalking into being replaced at the end of the season. It’s not his fault that patience with him will be in much shorter supply after the season under Claude Puel.  It’s up to Pellegrino to make sure that he’s not on the way out in the summer and the only way he’s going to do that is playing some braver, more entertaining football and taking a few risks, especially in home games and against teams we should be beating.  

I hope he succeeds of course but as I said earlier, the early signs are not good.