Feel the Fume !!!
Stoke
at the Britannia in one of the most unappetising games of the season but one
that’s always a good yardstick as to whether your team fancies it. Mark Hughes has come under a bit of pressure
for an indifferent start and they have a few injury problems so we should be
looking to capitalise and really go for the three points. Hopefully we can take the form of the second
half against Man United into this game from the start.
The
build up has been quite understated for this game and you-know-who has been the
centre of most of it. Judging by
Mauricio’s press conference, it appears that Virgil will make his first start
of the season which I assume will mean a change in formation to three at the
back. The boss had also said that he
liked that formation at previous clubs.
Ok, bring it on. So, I was quite
looking forward to this until I heard Virgil interviewed upon the launch of
FIFA 18 and he got asked who would go furthest in the Champions League out of
the British Clubs – “Liverpool”. This is
despite them being shit and City and United being on fire. Then he was asked who his most difficult
opponent was – “Daniel Sturridge”. Ok,
now I know you’re taking the piss. He
absolutely had Sturridge in his pocket when we played them last year so that’s
complete shite. If you’re going to carry
on sucking Liverpool’s dick Virgil, then get a fucking room.
So,
I was expecting something a bit different with the formation and the team but
the only change was Virgil coming in for Wesley Hoedt. Hang on a minute – what the fuck has Hoedt
done to deserve getting dropped for someone who hasn’t played for 9 months? There were rumours that Hoedt was carrying a
bit of a knock coming into the united game so maybe that’s the issue. In some ways I hope it is. The Hoedt decision is not all that’s slightly
annoying – the same personnel in the same formation in the front
positions. Davis, Redmond, Tadic, Long….
Nothing different going on there. Maybe
Redmond and Tadic are going to play on the opposite sides to usual or else it’s
the same shit different day. Completely
underwhelming. The bench includes our
two players who know where the goal is as well as the X-Factor of Boufal and
the best set piece taker in JWP. I guess
the logic is that we dug out a 1-0 win against Palace in our last away game so
this will do. Stoke are better than
Palace though so we’ll see.
Away
we go and it’s pedestrian, like we’re not really up for it. Stoke’s Cameroonian striker, the
entertainingly names Maxim Choupo-Moting picks up the ball and ambles forward,
being allowed to shoot but it’s blocked by Virgil for a corner. We appear to wake up a bit and Lemina is at
the heart of it, driving forward and due to a lack of options and movement from
others, decides to have an optimistic shot and curls it wide from 25 yards.
More
chances are exchanged and we allow Shaqiri the freedom of the penalty area to
test out Fraser and the big man is up to it.
After that, we break well up the right through Cedric and Tadic who
slides a good ball in to Redmond and for a second it looks like he’s through
but he doesn’t turn on the burners and when Diouf gets over to him, Redmond
shows no strength at all and gets easily seen off.
With
Stoke, you know you’re never too far from a shocking tackle and in it comes
from Joe Allen. There’s a loose ball
bobbling about and then Lemina nearly has a couple of loose balls as Allen
wellies him in the nuts. How the fuck is
that not a booking? From the free kick, Stoke half clear it and
Romeu stabs a ball through and Long is in the clear as one defender hasn’t pushed
out. He turns and in typical Long
fashion, smashes it straight at Butland who to be fair, has got off his line
quickly. It’s the sort of chance that ‘has’
to hit the net.
Tadic
then clips Diouf as he goes to tackle him and the ref doesn’t give a foul and
Allen responds by cynically taking out Tadic as he breaks which he gets booked
for – that should be his second yellow.
Stoke win a corner as Fletcher’s shot is blocked by Bertrand and over it
comes from our left and Diouf simply heads it into the net from dead central
from about 8 yards. It’s pathetic
defending by Lemina who has just let him go.
For fucks sake. 1-0 down to this
shit.
Fromt
heir next attack we attempt to make it even worse as Bertrand loses the ball
and Berahino gets inside the box and tries to work his way into the
middle. He feels Virgil tugging on his arm
and throws himself forwards to ensure it gets given and it does. It stinks all round – Berahino has managed to
be pulled back, yet dive forwards and Virgil looked like he just couldn’t be
arsed to tackle him so he pulled him back.
Absolute shite.
There’s
a chance because Berahino is taking it and he hasn’t scored since he accidentally
took a load of drugs allegedly. Up he
steps and Fraser guesses correctly and keeps it out comfortably. Well played big man but half time and 1-0 down.
We
look lively initially after the break with Cedric digging out a superb cross but
Shane can only head over and then he heads wide after Tadic turned a defender
inside out. Stoke are settling for 1-0
and on 60 minutes we need a bit more from somewhere and Boufal is on for Davis
with the captains armband passing to Maya Yoshida and not to you know who. Gabbiadini is soon on for the disappointing
Redmond and Boufal is looking lively.
Then,
praise the fucking lord, we get a corner.
Boufal’s kick ends up back with him and he takes on Diouf and beats him
on the outside before crossing. Long
waves a foot at it and deflects it across the box and Yoshida takes off to
execute a scissor kick volley thing perfectly and crash it into the top of the
net. Fucking hell, we did a goal.
In
to the last ten and there’s only one team that looks like winning it (if you
forget for a second how hard we find it to actually score). Cedric swings over a free kick after Tadic
has been fouled by Pieters and Yoshida is there again but can only divert into
the side netting. Stoke have taken off
Berahino and thrown on the giraffe. There’s
a deep sense of impending doom about this and within five minutes this has
proved to be prophetic.
In
the under 14s side that I coach, I’ve forever telling the full backs that if
they have a situation when they are facing their own goal line and they have a
player up their arse – then whacking it out for a throw in or even a corner is
the way to go. I do that because it’s
fucking obvious as trying to set up an attack from that position is not really
playing the percentages in that scenario.
So, if Pellegrino wants me to have a word with Cedric then I’m happy
to. Cedric has this scenario and in
addition, it’s pissing with rain and the pitch is wet. He tries to dummy the striker who is behind
him and slips on his arse, allowing Choupo-Moting a free run on goal. Shoots, saved, pinball, carnage, penalty
appeals as Oriol piles in and eventually the ball, via a lucky mis-hit finds
its way to Crouch who is three yards out in amongs the strewn bodies of
defenders. 2-1 – fuck off.
There
are 5 minutes plus stoppages to go but you know we’re fucked. Austin is on for Lemina and Virgil is thrown
up front as well. We have a go to be
fair - Boufal to Bertrand, a cross and it’s just too far in front of
Gabbi. Then a Virgil flick on from a
punt forward and Butland punches it into Gabbi but instead of bouncing in or to
a Saints player like the scramble in our penalty area fell for Crouch, the ball
hits Gabbi and bounces off for a goal kick.
Austin knocks one down to Long but a predictable shit first touch means
the chance is gone. Corners and whipped
in with poor delivery and comfortably cleared and yawn. The End.
This is a ridiculous defeat again, culled from an episode of Groundhog
Day that we seem to be reliving over and over again. Good in the main at the back and in midfield
but completely blunt in the final third.
We’ll
start with the return of Virgil - I have to say that as we neared the end of
the transfer window, as was as long as it wasn't to Liverpool, I wanted van
Dijk gone. So, I didn't really know how I was going to react to him being back
in the first team. On the one hand, I know that he's a world-class player when
100 percent fit and focused but on the other hand, if the two incumbent centre
backs are playing really really well, then I would've been quite happy for
Virgil to get splinters on his arse from being sat on the bench for the whole
season if necessary. This is why I have a problem with him playing and Wesley
being dropped. He'd had a great game
against Palace and apart from being fouled for United winner he had not put a
foot wrong. That game was against a United side who have routinely been scoring
four against absolutely everyone. I guess that we can expect Yoshida to be dropped
next week as it was probably decided in advance that the two Dutchman would be
the first choice centre back pairing. It
would be harsh to drop Maya as he’s done nothing wrong but neither has Wesley
Hoedt.
The
penalty incident was very interesting because it looked to me like Virgil just
couldn't be fucking bothered to defend the run properly so he just held him
back. In that instant it made me wonder
whether he was rusty or whether he actually gives a fuck. Does he care as much as Yoshida or any of the
others? That’s the problem now – does he
really care? By all accounts he had a
pretty decent game aside from that incident.
I guess that the bottom line is that I as a fan have not forgotten or
forgiven all the shit that went down over the past six months. If I was the manager, at the moment I wouldn’t
trust him to put in that last ditch tackle when it was needed.
Now
we get to Senor Pellegrino and the rest of his selections. There is that oft quoted definition of
madness - trying the same things and expecting a different result. If you pick
as your four most advanced players, players who score approximately one goal
every 10 or 15 games then what makes you think that they're going to score with
any regularity. We need to rely on our very strong central midfield players and
play a more attacking player in front of them and not Steven Davis who, great
footballer that he is, hardly has a goal or an assist in him. On the wings, Nathan Redmond has been crap
this season. The odd flash of ability and the odd shot after a direct run is
not enough for seven games of effort.
He’s actually been a good source of attacks for the opposition as he has
a tendency to cough up possession by falling over when back in the defensive
third.
Tadic
played pretty well today but he is in the team to score goals and provide
assists and so far he's not achieved much of this seven matches. You could argue that with his assist today,
Boufal has contributed more in half an hour.
Boufal should be starting, probably in place of Redmond but Tadic has to
do so much more to justify his continued selection. Hoedt got dropped despite doing nothing wrong
yet our forward players get picked despite not providing what they’re in the
team to provide.
Now
we come to Shane Long. For all his
effort and commitment and being horrible to play against, he has not scored now
for 20 matches and this is not the first time he's had a 20 match streak
without a goal. A good striker gets
twitchy after going about 3 games without a goal. Twenty games…. That’s half a season. That tells you all you need to know. He's not
a goal scorer and whilst he is the one striker in our team, we are never going
to score enough goals. I would be quite
happy for him to play wide right but with our present goalscoring crisis, he
can’t be the main starting striker.
I'm
not Charlie Austin's biggest fan but at least he knows where to goal is. Also,
Gabbiadini got dropped because he kept on making runs and the midfield players
behind him couldn't pick him out and didn't give him the ball so consequently
he looks completely ineffective. This was solved by dropping him and putting a
striker with much less ability in his place instead of sorting out the actual
root of the problem which was the supply.
This
right footed player on the left and left footed player on the right thing that
we do does not work for us. It just
means that every attack is slowed down to the point where the opposition can
get loads of players behind the ball. Also today, with Stoke playing a very
deep defence and not leaving Shane with any space to run into, why did we not
try something different? We only try something different when we get to the
last 20-25 minutes and we’re behind.
This was a piss poor Stoke side we were playing against and we left it
til 60 minutes to try something different.
Pellegrino was supposed to be tactically flexible and whilst I don’t
agree with totally changing everything (like Puel tried to do with the
diamond), we clearly can’t go on like this.
I almost lost interest in this game as soon as I saw our line up. Same again and guess what … we did the same
again.
We
lost in the end because the normally reliable Cedric fucked up big style. What the fuck was he doing? – just fucking
clear it. You are not going to set up an
attack when you’re facing your own goal line with a player up your arse so just
clear it. Man of the match today was the
big man Fraser Forster who was superb – saving a penalty, catching everything
in shite conditions for a keeper and basically being ‘The Wall’. Unfortunately, for the goals there was a
dereliction of duty from the players in front of him. To be fair this doesn’t happen often but it
happened today and we ended up losing to a very limited Stoke side. I don’t think Mark Hughes could actually
believe that they’d managed to get away with that one.
Someone's Rebuilt The Wall
So,
we have a couple of weeks to stew on this before Newcastle at home and
following that there are three more winnable games against West Brom, Brighton
and Burnley. These four games are going
to shape our season. Comfortable mid-table
to looking over our shoulders?
As
the players arrived in their camps for international week, there was the usual
interviews done. For the foreign players,
it’s good because they tend to be a bit less guarded in what they say. Virgil – bearing in mind he had not uttered
one word about Saints since the summer – used his interview to talk about
hopefully being able to go in January, having no regrets about the way he acted and wanting to take a step up. Now I’m sure a little has been added or lost
in translation but his answer clearly wasn’t “I’m a Southampton player and that’s
all I have to say for now”. Words
fucking fail me, aside from ‘drop him now and sell him in January to anyone
except Liverpool’.
Ryan
Bertrand, a player who according to common knowledge, also wanted to leave
Saints in the summer, spoke of helping the Grenfell Tower victims and has also
recently spoken of how Saints gave him a platform to prove himself and how
grateful he was. The difference couldn’t
be more stark. I know with Ryan Bertrand
that if he makes a mistake then it will be genuine. I remain to be convinced by Virgil van Dijk.
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