Premier League Match 10 - Liverpool 1 Southampton 1

Klopp - Not the Messiah!

In the absence of Portsmouth from our lives at the moment, something is missing, even with Bournemouth being in the Premier League now. I can't find much to dislike about them but I can find plenty to dislike about Spurs and Liverpool. I feel that my dislike of Liverpool stems mainly from Brendan Rodgers, so I guess it may subside in a few weeks now that he's been sacked but as a kid who grew up in the 80s, I had Liverpool and their fans rammed down my throat all the time. Their fans were a pain in the arse then and they still are now, only with added delusion.

Jurgen Klopp has arrived and the delusion that has gone into overdrive. He's had two boring draws so far but the perception seems to be that he will turn Liverpool from a ragtag bag of shit into a team of world beaters in approximately five minutes. The hype around his appointment has been absolutely ridiculous and no doubt with today's match being on Sky, that will continue. Expect a panel laden with ex-Liverpool players as you seem to get wherever football is played in whatever country of the world on that whatever TV channel.

Our team news is that Jordy Clasie starts the game in place of JWP and there is a place on the bench for some Uruguayan bloke I've never heard of called Gaston Ramirez.  Mercifully, Kevin Davis is back in the rest home… Sorry, I mean on the bench as Maarten Stekelenburg is back in goal. You have no idea how happy that makes me. Cedric has recovered from his cut head last week and looks a bit like the elephant man with bits of tape all over the top of his eye. It will be interesting to see how he fares in comparison to Nathaniel Clyne who will of course be playing for Liverpool. There is also a place in the Liverpool starting line up for Niveatwat himself, Adam Lallana. One thing is certain in this match and that is that Niveatwat will be off before the 70 minute mark and covering himself in cream.

The game is about to start and the cameras pan to various Liverpool fans with Klopp banners and they've even got him all over the electronic advertising boards. How fucking embarrassing is that? I expect you can get some really good deals on eBay for the in Brendan we trust banners they all had at their last home game. Complete Muppets.

Come on Saints, we can beat this shit.

The pattern of the game is set very early on as Liverpool keep the ball and do nothing with it in terms of having a shot on goal or anything like that.  Coutinho gets free and has a shot blocked by Cédric who let’s remember, is our replacement for Clyne who can’t defend.  Liverpool do manage the first shot on target on 10 minutes and it’s Niveatwat who finds some space on the edge of the box before dribbling an effort which Maarten falls on easily.

Set pieces are looking like our best route forward if the referee actually gives us any free kicks.  Pellé is getting battered by Skrtel every time he goes for the ball but mountaineering does not constitute a free kick today.  The ref can’t not give us corners though and from our first one of these, Tadic puts it onto the head of Captain José who heads over.

We do create a great chance as Bertrand gets down the left and his cross is not dealt with at all by Sakho and it falls to Steve Davis about 6 yards out but he’s obviously had his week of goals for this decade and his shot was awful and Mignolet didn’t have to move.

It gives me nightmares when Coutinho gets the ball and cuts in from the left which is a direct hangover from the Kevin Friend match last season at St.Mary’s.  Instead of finding the top corner this time though, he has one blocked and sees one end up in row Z.  Milner does have a decent chance though after some neat play between Moreno and Niveatwat but Milner is just as dogshit in a Liverpool shirt as he is in an England one and drills it wide.

Lucas Leiva, a player most Liverpool fans derided as shite about 5 years ago is still in the team and doing what he does which is continually foul people without getting booked.  Yet another foul on Mane gives us a free kick 40 yards out which Davis curls in.  Virgil has beaten the attempt at offside and is all on his own but doesn’t get enough on the header and it bounces down, enabling Mignolet to paw it away.  The big man really should have scored there.  He again though is showing what a handful he is when he’s in the opposition box.

Liverpool are pressing well it has to be said and stifling our play but not doing much themselves.  Origi up front is a disaster and Moreno shows how to have no composure at all when a nice ball is played behind Cedric for him to run on to but he smashes it at the moon.  We do get the obligatory shot of Klopp jumping about though and pulling a face as the ball flies into the Scousers behind the goal.

We are at the end of what has been a non-event kind of first half.  We’re content to let them have it as they’re doing nothing but we really need to force the pace a bit more than we are.  Maybe we’re waiting for the last 20 minutes which Ronald pinpointed as an opportunity for us today as Liverpool had a Europa League game on Thursday whereas we did not.  It was all part of the plan, obviously.

There would be more threat from Liverpool in the second half as the hopeless Origi is off and Benteke is on.  Good player Benteke but will he fit in or be another Andy Carroll.   Right now however, he’s making Liverpool play better as he’s winning the ball and laying it off.  Moreno is at it again when he gets himself free on their left and when composure was needed, he just lashed it across the face and out with the nearest player, Niveatwat, being nowhere near it.

We are playing well in midfield with Clasie digging in strongly alongside Big Vic and a break sees Mané put away on the half way line.  It’s a straight race between him and Moreno which Sadio looks like he’s winning but Moreno pulls out a superb recovery tackle.  It’s interesting though that when it was slowed down, Moreno was off the ground with both feet at one point.  It’s a great tackle but if Sadio had jagged left at that point it could have been really nasty.

Tadic has contributed the square root of sod all since the opening 10 minutes and he’s off to be replaced with JWP.  The formation now seems to be slightly screwed with Sadio wide left, Davis on the right and JWP behind Graziano.  Very predictably, Niveatwat has lasted 65 minutes so he has to come off and that Brazilian bloke they paid £30 million for is on.  Off you go Niveatwat, you complete thick idiot.

It not a surprise that Clasie has to come off but it’s a surprise that it’s Juanmi who comes on with JWP moving back.  Having taken off a player who was doing really well, we then concede a goal.  A crossfield ball finds Clyne who has managed to get upfield after spending most of the second half not being arsed.  He gets it back to Milner who is not closed down and he swings over a cross and Benteke gets in front of Fonte to bullet a header into the top corner giving Stekelenburg no chance.  For. Fuck’s. Sake.  I can’t believe the spawny fuckers are going to do us again and bastard useless Milner has an assist.  The next three minutes are spent watching slow motion close up replays of Klopp jumping around on the touchline and Daniel Sturridge in the crowd who didn’t look in the least bit interested.

Bloody hell it’s Gaston Ramirez, a player who has been literally to Hull and back.  Well’s now’s your chance boy as he replaces Steve Davis.  We are immediately better and create a chance as Mané runs in behind and lashes over when he had to shoot as he was running out of room.  Our attitude has changed and we’re forcing them back and Milner decides that the way to deal with it is to cart Bertrand over with a tackle so clumsy that it even brings a yellow card from the Scouse referee.  In it comes from JWP, flicked on by José on the edge of the box and Ramirez gets up at the far post, above Benteke and loops a header over Mignolet and it’s dropping in but Sadio bundles into make sure and make it 1-1.  Get the fuck in.  Now let’s go and win this.  They’re shit.

You know we’re going to get on chance and it’s Ramirez again who sets off on a great run from his own half and eventually slides a ball alongside Pellè and the big man takes a swing with his left foot and completely misses it.  He’s great at that sort of shot on the right but this is shite and Mignolet just picks it up.   Another break sees Juanmi in possession but he takes an age and gets dispossessed, forcing Mané to cart a Liverpool player and get booked.  This is no big deal until he does exactly the same a minute later on Moreno and gets a second yellow. Arse.  It shows the class of Koeman though as when most managers would be encouraging their sent off player to take as long as he could to get off the pitch, Ronald is trying to give him the hurry up.  Game over, 1-1.

Whilst I'm pleased to have got a draw having been behind with only five minutes to go, I can't help but feel that we've missed out here. We really should have won this and with a bit more self belief we would have done. Let's face it, Liverpool are absolutely shit. Brendan Rodgers legacy is a team that is absolutely fucking useless. They had nothing until Benteke came on and all he brought to the party was an aerial presence so they could smash balls up to him. It was a really good centre forwards header for their goal but it was poor from us as Milner, of all people, was given enough space to sling a cross in and Fonte won't be happy that Benteke got in front of him.  Mr Reliable Milner could have done what he normally does and shank it behind the goal.  We waited until we were 1-0 before we played with any attacking urgency and it only took us 5 minutes to score when we went for it.  If we’d gone for it before we went behind then we would have won this as they were there for the taking, in much the same way that Chelsea were in our last away game.

The Sky coverage of this game was absolutely scandalous. What was with the continual shots of Daniel Sturridge in the crowd?  He's injured and therefore is irrelevant to the game in front of us. What cutting edge coverage of a bloke in a baseball cap.  What’s the point?  Did they show a picture of Fraser Forster or Florin Gardos? No, of course they fucking didn't despite them being similarly injured and irrelevant.  Might as well put a picture of Luis Suarez and Raheem Sterling up on the screen as they weren’t playing either.  Jamie Carragher and Graeme Souness were the two expert summarisers in the studio. They didn't even mention that Souness used to be the Saints manager. Klopp this and Klopp that and fuck off. How fucking desperate are Liverpool and how sad it is for a club of their tradition and standing to have slogans like "cream of the Klopp" on the electronic advertising hoardings round the side of the pitch. That's the sort of small time shit I expect from Reading or Brighton.

Despite looking a bit Phantom of the Opera, Cedric had a decent game down the right hand side. Virgil again stood out at centre back though he really should have scored in the first half. In midfield, I have to say that I was impressed with Clasie, who got stuck in to every tackle which was a relief after his powderpuff performance against Leicester. Upfront we were way off the pace today which is the reason we didn't win. Graziano had a complete shocker, culminating in the air shot when he had a great chance to win it. Tadic was absolutely dreadful from first to last apart from maybe two crosses that were worthy of the name. Also dreadful was Juanmi. In every appearance he's made I've been looking for the thing that he is good at and I still haven't spotted it though I suspect it might be completely avoiding the ball. On the one occasion I remember him touching the ball he dawdled so long that he totally butchered a decent break we had at the end of the game. On the other end of the scale was Gaston Ramirez who was brilliant when he came on. He worked hard up and down the flank, never gave the ball away once and was always looking to be positive. In addition to that he got an assist with a really good header back across which was going in before Sadio made sure. Sadio's red card really doesn't matter as much as it could do in the scheme of things as he just misses the capital one cup game against Villa on Wednesday.

Talking of the Villa on Wednesday, I guess that one might be more difficult now as like today's opponents, they've just sacked their manager with Tim Sherwood being shown the door before he had a nervous breakdown. It is our stated intention to do well in the cups this year and a win on Wednesday puts us in the quarter-finals which is where we got to last year before making a colossal bollocks of it against Sheffield United.it is time for a trip to Wembley, it really is.