Brendan the Wanker Salutes Kevin the Wanker at the Final Whistle
I
thought about writing a blog before the game about the return of Lambert,
Lallana and Lovren but in the end I decided against it as it’s all been said
and done. In case you have been living
under a rock for the past 8 months here’s a short summary.
Lambert
left with dignity and respect and is a class act. He’s been treated abysmally and
disrespectfully at Liverpool by Brendan Rodgers and has hardly played and they
tried to offload him in the transfer window to relegation fighting Aston
Villa. It’s a shame and he’ll no doubt
be on his way in the summer. His
precious place in the England squad is almost certain to be gone in March when
the next squad will doubtless feature some or all of Daniel Sturridge, Harry Kane,
Charlie Austin and Saido Berahino. Dream
move? Careful what you wish for. I’m
sure he won’t regret having given it a go at the end of his career but it
really isn’t working out from a football point of view.
Lallana
let himself down by acting like a Billy Big Bollocks less than a year after
signing a 5 year contract and disrespected the club and the fans. Saying that you dreamt of playing for a
different club whilst you were club captain was a bit of an own goal. All
efforts he has made since to smooth things over have only made things worse. His full page picture of himself in The Echo
was a PR disaster and every interview has been more ammunition for those who
will no doubt give him stick on Sunday.
His latest interview had a bit of an apology in it about certain aspects
of his move but no specifics. His take
on why the club only gave him a 2 line send off on the website would have been
interesting but I assumed that question wasn’t allowed. The bottom line is he got in the England
squad and from that moment on he wanted out.
He went to the World Cup and managed to get himself filmed signing a
Liverpool shirt and saying that he ‘hoped to join them’ when he was still a
Saints player and getting paid by the club (and by extension, you and me). Personally,
though he undoubtedly acted like a complete helmet from that point, I give him
more credit than Calum Chambers who fucked off as soon as he possibly could
having given the first team a massive 20-odd games service. Adam did much for the club over the years and
in the main was a superb player for us.
It’ll die down over the years but he’ll be getting loads of stick and he
shouldn’t be surprised. He was our
captain and he acted like a complete wanker.
Lovren
disrespected the club and the fans and just proved what a mercenary he is. Since he’s moved he’s proved that his form in
the first half of last season at Saints was the exception, rather than the
norm. That good form got us a £12million
profit on him and and he’s been shite for Liverpool. All you can do is laugh at him really. He’s turned out to be shit despite being
bigged up by pundits such as Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher when he was with
us. He was to be the £20million lynchpin
of their defence and he’s now been bombed out and is a perennial
substitute. Needless to say that once he
was bombed out, Liverpool have improved immeasurably. You’re shit and you know you are. We should just laugh as we paid £8m for a
turd that we polished and made it look like a diamond for 6 months. When it started to revert into a turd again,
no one at Anfield noticed and gave us £20m for it.
It
may surprise you to hear this but the biggest wanker is not Lovren, nor Lallana
but Brendan Rodgers. Southampton have
given up on their ambition. Have we
really? We’ve been above you all season
you smarmy tossser. Everything about
this bloke screams ‘tosser’. Even his
goal celebrations look fucking stupid as he puts one hand up and points at the
sky. What the fuck is that? Sometimes he adds a windmill and point with
his arm like ZZ Top used to do in their videos.
He’s a fucking arsehole. Why sign
Rickie Lambert when your whole style of play relies on pace? He signed him to make it easier to get
Lallana and Lovren as well. It’s obvious
he leaked that to the press as well as the first question any journo asked
Lambert when he was the first to join was ‘how about the other two?’. He walked out on Watford, walked out on
Swansea and he’s a tosser. He might be a
semi-decent football manager but he’s a tosser.
It’s
pissing down and the walk to the ground from Woolston is horrible. The wind blowing left to right as we cross
the Itchen Bridge just batters the rain into one side of your face and you end
up with one wet leg on your jeans. I’m
quite proud of my son for working out that if he walked on my right hand side
then fat Dad took all the buffeting and he stayed relatively dry.
The
team news shows a surprise with Filip Djuricic starting and Sadio Mané on the
bench. Our bench looked very strong all
over a sudden with Mané, Long, Gardos, Tadic, Reed and Schneiderlin all
present. The Liverpool selection was
interesting as both Lalllana and most surprisingly Lovren were included from
the start. Sir Rickie was of course on
the bench and the pre-match chanting left no one in any doubt who the hero was
and who the villains were. With
Sturridge and Balotelli on the Liverpool bench as well, I’d say the chances of
Lambert getting on are exactly zero.
Away
we go and we win the ball back and Pellè plays a superb diagonal ball out to
the right win and Djuricic is in behind Emre Can. He’s in the area and should shoot but goes
down under Can’s challenge. Everyone in the Northam and the Itchen corner goes
up as well as the players but the ref, Kevin Friend doesn’t give it. If he does it’s a penalty and a red card
after 30 seconds so he bottles it. Later
replays show Can’s hand on Djuricic’ shoulder and a slight tug. He hits the deck too easily and appeals. It’s soft but in this day and age it’s a
fucking foul and should be given. Put it
this way – if it’s the first minute at Anfield and Sterling goes through and
Fonte pulls him back – we’re playing with 10 players for 90 minutes
So,
injustice is in the air as the game gets going and fuck me, what a goal. Sadly it’s not ours as Markovic advances up
the left ad plays it infield to Coutinho who has got away from Steve Davis and
he smashes it over Forster and in off the bar.
I wondered for a second if Fraser should have saved it but he had no
chance at all. I’m not happy, they
should have been 1-0 down and a man down but they’re 1-0 up. I can’t see him but I bet Brendan Rodgers is
being a twat.
The
mood gets worse as Pellè gets up above Skrtel and flicks on a ball and Djuricic
is through again. Lovren covers round
and Joe Allen dives in and trashes him from behind. I’m the entire length of a pitch away and can
see it’s a penalty as there’s no way Allen has got the ball but Kevin Friend
who is considerably closer decides that it’s not. Fuck off – what’s the fucking point? Djuricic manages to get up off the floor and poke the ball to Elia who shoots but Mignolet gets down well to save.
We
have the amusement of Lovren passing the ball straight out of play when there
was no one near him and then Pellè again does well to set up JWP who does what
he always does and shanks a dribbler well wide.
With Jack Cork you could play a game of guessing the row and the seat
that he’d hit when he had a shot. With
JWP you could play a game of trying to guess which advert the hoarding to the
side of the goal will be showing when the ball hits it.
Liverpool
aren’t doing much going forward but the latest bright young thing Jordon Ibe has
Targett on toast before failing to pick out Sterling with his cross. Ibe does look like a decent player and no
doubt as he plays for a big club he’ll be over-hyped. Hopefully he’ll turn out to be decent and not
another Macheda or Januzaj.
If
Ibe is giving Targett problems, Clyne has too much for Markovic. He bursts past him and gets deliberately
trashed by the flailing defender. Foul
and a yellow card…. No, play on! Fuck off Kevin, again!. On a rare Liverpool attack, Sterling breaks
into the box on our right and José slides in like madman and takes the ball but
wipes out Sterling in the process. Great
tackle I thought at the time but later on when I saw it again I realised that
though he got the ball, it was a lot messier than I originally thought. Not even Kevin the Wanker could give that
after what he’d not given at the other end.
He
finally gets a card out when arch-wanker Lovren trashes through JWP on the left
wing but he’s back in full bottler mode again as we approach half time. Clyney lifts a ball over the defence and
Lovren is asleep. Elia is through and
gets to the ball first, only for Mignolet to come rushing out and block,
outside the box with a combination of his chest and hand. It’s a clear handball and it’s a free kick at
least and then it should be a red card under today’s interpretation of the
rules. Not today though… play on… it
really is fucking ridiculous. I read a
blog the other day which was written by a neutral who said that he thought that
Saints would get referreed out of the top 4 as it wouldn’t be good for the
brand if we qualified. I generally
dismiss this sort of thing as I do all conspiracy bollocks but performances
like this one from Kevin the Wanker. Make you wonder.
As
the half ticks down, JWP swings over a corner and via a couple of deflections,
it hits our favourite asshole Lovren on the hand and he clears it. It’s not even worth appealing. Half time and it’s still cold and raining.
There’s
a substitute each at the start of the second half as Markovic is off to be
replaced with Moreno and Steve Davis who has been having a mare, is off to be
replaced with Morgan Schneiderlin. We
start well and are knocking the ball about a lot more than we did in the first
half and 10 or so passes later the ball lands with Pellè on the edge of the box
but his shot is awful and scuffs tamely wide.
There
really isn’t much going on in the first 15 minutes of the second half from
either side. The pattern is that we have
possession but do nothing with it.
Liverpool try and break and get nowhere.
There are a few players who are barely involved – Sterling and Lallana
for Liverpool, Djuricic and Elia for us.
On 56 minutes, Ronald has had enough and off comes JWP to be replaced
with Sadio Mané. This moves Djuricic
into the midfield three so I think we’re definitely going for it. We have to, to be fair. JWP hasn’t produced
anything. There is an immediate
improvement as Mané looks way more dynamic than anything on show beforehand.
Aside
from Lambert not getting on, the most predictable thing about Liverpool was
that Adam Lallana would be hauled off after an hour and so it was, with Daniel
Sturridge coming on. There’s some booing
as he goes off but not as much as I’m expecting. Maybe I can’t hear much from the Chapel
End. There is nothing much to boo as he
hasn’t done anything and has been completely anonymous – I have a feeling that
the stick he was getting throughout from the Northam had affected him. If he doesn’t understand how much he pissed
everyone off now then he never will.
With
20 minutes to go we have a great chance as Mané skips across the top of the
penalty area before being felled by Skrtel.
With JWP and Tadic off the pitch, it falls to Morgan to take it. Instead of shooting though he tries to slide
a ball past the wall to Djuricic but over hits it so it goes straight out for a
goal kick. Fucking hell. We even pass free kicks from the edge of the
box now.
Having
passed the free kick out of play, Morgan has another shocker a few minutes
later by playing a loose crossfield ball which allowed Moreno to nick the
ball. He drives down the left and
squares behind Sturridge but Targett slips as he tries to clear and just gives
it straight to Sterling. His shot flicks
off of Fonte and finds its way into the net past Fraser’s powder puff effort to
stop it. Oh fuck off.
Tadic
is on for Djuricic who has not done a lot since the 5th minute and
the next time Mané gets chopped down on the edge of the box (this time by
Moreno) at least Tadic has a shot but Mignolet pull off a solid save to keep
the low effort out. We’re never going to
score and even Tosser Rodgers realises this and even knows it’s safe to put
Glen Johnson on. Elia has one chance at
it and flies past him like he isn’t there but the cross is half cleared, Morgan
tries an overhead kick but it’s easy for the keeper.
I
hate coming away from games with the feeling that you can’t shake that you’ve
been done. I hate feeling that whatever
we did would have ultimately made no difference. I hate moaning about referees first and
foremost but Kevin Friend was fucking useless from 30 seconds in until the
final whistle. We should definitely have
had one penalty for the second foul on Djuricic and like I said earlier, the
first one, with way the game is these days, should have been given as
well. Not even spotting that Mignonet
handled outside the box is a fucking scandal as well. Friend is either shite or bent. He could of course have given one against
José Fonte as well but having already denied us two shouts there would have
been uproar if he’d given that.
Our
performance pissed me off as well. Too
much fannying about and not enough taking responsibility to shoot or play a
forward pass. Graziano is having a mare
at the moment and it seems no one else is interested in helping out regarding
getting a decent cross in to him or heaven forbid, scoring a goal. Three home games in a row without scoring
against teams that don’t look great at the back. Certain players are getting on my goat with a
lack of positive play and a lack of incisive effective football. If you play at the front of the midfield
three and are just behind the striker then you should be scoring 5-8 goals per
season at least and there is no goal threat at all from JWP or from Steve Davis
when they play there. With Big Vic and
Morgan fit I really think we can afford to play Tadic in a midfield 3 and get
Mané and Elia on the wings or up front with Graziano. Maybe it’s time too give Shane Long a run in
the side – at least he’ll fucking shoot.
As it’s only one game I’ll reserve judgement on Djuricic but I wonder
straight away how much we needed that type of player. We now have 4 attacking midfielders – Tadic,
Mané, Elia and Djuricic – all left footed and most comfortable in the same
position.
Ronald
Koeman told us the reason for Sadio Mané not starting was that he was late to
the stadium. I think that’s absolute
quality that he got dropped for that.
I’m sure that not many managers or clubs would do that but in my opinion
it’s the correct thing to do – otherwise you’re sending out a message that you
can do what you like and nothing will happen.
Fining doesn’t hurt a player but being on the bench will. In my opinion, Ronald was overstating how
well we played. Yes, we had possession
but as mentioned earlier, we didn’t do much constructive with it. Not enough chances were taken to shoot or
play a forward pass and two of the starting midfield had shocking games. They weren’t alone either as Elia was quiet
despite having Donkey Lovren on his side and after the first couple of minutes,
Djuricic faded until substituted…. And then there was Pellè. I was kind of hoping that after 10 days
without a game and a good rest that he’d come back firing but he didn’t. It’s worth mentioning that he created the two
penalty shouts for Djuricic but there was no goal threat from him which is
partly down to service and partly down to his own lethargic looking display.
Despite
having won the game, Brendan Rodgers managed to be a complete cock again. He felt the need to comment on our match day
programme not having a feature on Lallana in it to which I say – what the fuck
has it got to do with you how we talk of our ex-players. Go and find out if you want the truth. So he
had a go at the club and he had a go at the fans for booing Lallana and
Lovren. Apparently we lacked respect…
what are you doing with Rickie Lambert’s career there Brendan? He of course neglected to mention that no one
booed Lambert or that fans were singing his songs from the last 5 years or
clapping him off after the warm-up. Oh
yes… and he said that Kevin Friend had a great game – well he fucking would
think that wouldn’t he. I didn’t think
he could go down in my estimation any more but he managed it. Utter Wanker. As I write, Kevin Friend has just been banned
from refereeing this weekend. That
doesn’t happen if he’s had a good game does it Brendan, you clueless
bastard. It’s also come to light that
Brendan went nuts at him after a recent FA Cup game.
And
breathe… we are still 5th, still above Liverpool and Spurs, just
behind United and Arsenal. There are 5
teams going for 2 Champions League spots and whilst this is a painful defeat,
it’s not terminal. Of course, we can’t
go on playing like we are and we have to start scoring but we’re not out of
anything as yet. Next up is an away trip
to West Brom who are there to be beaten.
Our away form is good so why not?
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