Premier League Match 21 - Aston Villa 0 Southampton 1

Villa Defender not in shot

Another week and another six pointer and another load of bullshit in the media.  The spirit of the QPR ‘El Sackico’ game has been dredged up with focus on whoever the losing manager is this weeks match between Aston Villa and our good selves.  Nigel is on his way again and again it’s Roberto di Matteo taking over, no doubt because he’s just been sacked and he’s Italian and so is the Don Cortese.  Also coming in is Christian Gross who was absolutely brilliant for Spurs when he was manager there about 10 years ago... and by ‘brilliant’, I actually mean ‘completely shit’.  Gross is coming in because he’s just been sacked and he’s Swiss and so is the Don Cortese.  

The Transfer window is now open of course and a river of media shite has been cut off at source by the declaration of intent to stay with Saints made by Luke Shaw.  It appears he’s verbally agreed to sign a five year contract when he turns 18 which is in the summer which is excellent news and I’m sure that all we have to do to confirm this, is not get relegated.  As for incoming players – well we’re heavily linked with centre half Davide Astori who has a couple of caps for Italy and we’re slightly less heavily linked with Phillippe Coutinho, a Brazilian winger from AC Milan but needless to say, it’s not the 32nd of January yet so we haven’t got anyone in.

As for Villa, well they have had a bad few weeks having been gubbed 8-0 at Chelsea and 3-0 at home to Wigan.  They then topped this off by losing 3-1 in the League Cup Semi Final first leg to League 2 Bradford City.    I think it’s best that we save laughing about their Chelsea result after we’ve played there next Wednesday I think as we’ve just managed to lose 5-1 to the Blues at home.  As for the League Cup result – well, no doubt it’s a bad result but at least Villa are in the Semi.  Not many  noises are being made about the future of Paul Lambert as we speak which maybe down to senior players Bent, Dunne, Given and Albrighton all out injured.   Our need is great though and sympathy for rivals should be in short supply and in truth, I have none.

Villa’s main threat is obviously going to come from the hulking figure of Christian Benteke who, as the adjective ‘hulking’ suggests, is fucking massive.  Worryingly, he seems to be pulling away to our right to play against Clyne who is not hulking at all.  He gets his first chance on 6 minutes which thankfully skews off his boot and nearly goes for a throw. 

After this kind of half-scare, Saints take over and start to do their thing.  We’re playing in similar fashion to how we did at Stoke in that we are getting it forward quickly but accurately, though the move for our first chance starts with Corky in the right back slot who slides the ball into Sir Rickie who first time, sends J-Rod away down the right.  He has the left back Stevens on toast and cuts in towards goal before taking a step too far and getting too close to Guzan.  He pulls the ball back but straight to Clark who seems to pass it back to the keeper.  Put it this way, I’ve seen them given.

Gaston has been stationed wide left in a 4-4-2 which is not really his thing but he’s up against Lowton who resembles a League 1 hacker, never more so than when he Ninjas into a tackle with the ball nowhere in sight and comes down on Gaston’s knee.  It’s a definite yellow and borderline red card for dangerous play but for some reason, the ref gives nothing except a throw in.  As I said earlier, I’ve seen them given.

Saints are totally in the ascendancy now and Corky and Morgan are dictating play in the middle.  Punch on the right is turning Stevens inside out and puts in a superb cross which J-Rod meets and makes a balls of header and flicks it wide.  More decent play later and Corky feeds Shaw who attacks the box before dragging his shot just wide of the far post with Guzan scrambling.

With 10 minutes to half time, Villa have won a corner in a rare foray forward which is a reason for the Villa fans to get excited and then it all goes wrong as the corner is shit and it hits the first man who in this case was J-Rod.  His clearance is returned to the edge of the box but J-Rod sprints out and beats a ponderous Villa challenge before setting off.  He gets to the edge of the box where he stumbles and one Villa defender hoofs it against another and Guzan has to fly out and clear the rebound before Punch gets there.  Now the controversy as J-Rod takes on Stevens who leaves a leg in and J-Rod falls over.  The ref points to the spot and the Villa players go nuts.  He clearly hasn’t touched him and J-Rod’s gone down without appealing and he looks as stunned as anyone that he’s given it.  Some players are no doubt opining that he’s a cheating bastard and all that as Sir Rickie (who cares not about controversy) sends Guzan the wrong way to make it 1-0.  Get in!!!!

We’re still in the ascendency leading up to half time as Shaw gets himself more headlines on the shit transfer window websites by burning past Lowton on the outside and driving into the box.  He seems to get a bit lost as he bears down on goal and attempts to curl it with the outside of his boot rather than pick anyone out and Guzan saves his shot with his legs.  Can you imagine the shitstorm of attention if he’d scored? Half time arrives and all is well with the predictable crowd of Villa players around the ref.

Villa switch things around for the start of the second half and look much more solid as a result and put us under a bit of pressure.  Ten minutes in and the ball broke to Stevens on the edge of the box and his shot flicked off of Maya, forcing Boruc into an excellent reaction save.  The rebound went straight to Benteke who did a ‘Guly at Stoke’ and sidefooted it wide.  That’s how I saw it anyway but here’s an extract from The Pink which is produced by The Daily Echo.

“Benteke should have equalised on 52 after another goalkeeping error from Boruc.  This time the keeper dived to his right to save Stevens shot from the edge of the area but put it straight back to Benteke….” 

The Pink reporter is obviously a paid up member of the Kelvin Davis fan club which is a really petty way of reporting on a football match.  That was a bloody good save by Boruc and I’m going to call him King Artur from now on… because I can.  Back to the game and Villa bring on the sometimes dangerous Agbohlahor for N’Zogbia (was it Alan Pardew who called him N’Somnia which got him all upset?) and we’re back on the attack again with Punch tricking his way across the top of the penalty area and hitting his left foot scuffer past Guzan and onto the post and away.

Ten minutes to go and Danny Fox is on for Gaston and Steven Davis is on for Punch which is an indication of Nigel wanting to hold what we have.  King Artur is showing up well in goal, safely claiming anything coming his way but he put Shaw in a spot of bother with a dodgy throw which gives Lowton the opportunity to go in late and crunch him after he’s cleared it.  Needless to say, the League 1 hacker takes the opportunity.  The ref must have thought it was serious as he stopped the game, causing the Villa players to all go ape shit once more, especially Agbonlahor who looks like he is chewing a wasp.  Being carried off on a stretcher kind of shows that the ref got it right but it doesn’t stop the Villa faithful booing Shaw as he’s carried off.  What a bunch of classless pricks.  Nigel decides that he feels sorry for the Villa fans and brings on Steeeeeeeve so they at least have a sure fire way of getting the ball back and lobbing it into our box.  Villa get a corner off of Foxy and the resulting kick is headed onto the top of the bar by Baker.  Close!

There is just time for Steeeeeve to do his thing as he runs out of defence down the left wing and totally fails to play the obvious ball up the line to J-Rod who has bust a gut to get up there.  By the time he finishes pissing about and passes it, J-Rod is offside and so Villa get to load it long, everyone misses it and Agbonlahor, who has stopped chewing the wasp, is faced with a goal to shoot at and a star-jumping King Artur flying out at him.  A big save sees the ball come out to Beneke again who showed that he hadn’t learnt from the last time and put it wide again in crap fashion, thankfully.  After what seemed like a week of injury time, it was all over.

The first thing you have to say is that it’s a great win, in terms of playing a vital game against a relegation rival, away from home and nicking a 1-0.  This is the first thing – in fact it’s the only thing.

However, it’s fun to discuss the specifics which are of course that the winning goal was from the dodgiest of dodgy penalties.  If it had been certain other players who went over then I would have had no hesitation in saying that he went for it and he dived.  J-Rod however looked like he just fell over and the ref gave it which is not his fault.  I don’t care what anyone says, no player in the Premier League is going to go to the ref and say that he dived once a decision has been given in his favour.  This is not a new thing either – contrary to bollocks that people come out with, diving was happening back in the 70s and no one went to the ref to try and get a decision in their favour reversed then either.  The other side of it though is that if I was a Villa fan, I’d be spitting feathers over it in my Brummie accent. In some small way, it was a blessing for Paul Lambert who could use it to deflect attention away from another home defeat against a relegation rival.  Maybe the old cliché about “things going against you when you’re at the bottom” is in fact “things go against you when you’re down the bottom and your manager is a miserable unintelligible Scotsman”.  The post match interviews from Saints though were embarrassing.  Captain Sir Rickie said it was a stonewall penalty which it clearly wasn’t and Nigel waffled and kind of suggested that it was ok because if the challenge had come in then it would have been a foul.  If my Auntie had a dick she’d be my Uncle.  I think he just fell over but the rest of the world will think it’s a Bale.

A major positive of the game was the clean sheet.  It was heartening to see the form of King Artur Boruc who is getting better each match and confirming my long held belief that he’d be our best goalkeeper given a run in the team.  He made 2 or 3 excellent and brave saves today and also caught almost everything that came his way in a way that neither of our other keepers do.  It was good to see Clyne’s name back on the teamsheet though he did struggle a bit today and Yoshida and Big Jos somehow managed to play their part in keeping a clean sheet despite not winning a single header cleanly all game against Benteke.  It’s good that Jos neither hoofed someone up in the air to give away a penalty, nor finished off an opposition move for them.  Luke Shaw, as usual, was excellent and provided more going forward than usual with the chance he made for himself in the first half being a highlight and an indication of what could be as he gets more confident and accustomed to Premier League football.   The midfield bar Gaston all had decent matches, Sir Rickie scored the winner and J-Rod ran his bollocks off for 90 minutes which cause Villa all sorts of problems.  His reward for his performance though will probably be a reputation as a diver.   It was a battle but we did it.

Next up we have our game in hand which a rather daunting midweek trip to Chelsea who of course, will fancy battering us again.   I would imagine that the injury to Shaw will mean that he’s out so a back 4 of Fox, Jos, Maya and Clyne will be trying to keep out whoever plays out of Ba, Mata, Hazard, Moses and Lampard.  There is a chink of light though in that Torres might play as he was sub as they smashed Stoke 4-0 on Saturday.  The #RafaOut tag on Twitter is either inundated or empty depending on the Chelsea result so let’s hope it’s overflowing on Wednesday evening. 

It’s a bonus game and there’s no pressure on us.  Let’s get it over with..