Premier League Match 23 - Southampton 0 Everton 0

"Hey Fellaini - I just Shat in your Hairdryer"

Después de haber pasado tres días tratando de enseñar a mi papá de 68 año de edad y un hijo de 8 años cómo pronunciar "Pochettino", fue con cierto alivio que finalmente llegó el lunes por la noche y Everton se fueron de la ciudad. Mi hijo estaba recibiendo harto conmigo tomando el psss como recibió el nuevo nombre del Director mal y otra vez y en frustración, dijo "¿por qué que deshacerse de Nigel Adkins?" Buena pregunta...

Que?

Roughly translates as…

Having spent three days trying to teach my 68 year old Dad and 8 year old son how to pronounce “Pochettino”, it was with some relief that Monday night finally arrived and Everton were in town.  My son was getting fed up with me taking the piss as he got the new manager’s name wrong time and again and in frustration he said “Why did they get rid of Nigel Adkins?”  Good question...

Attitudes towards Don Nicola seemed to have cooled somewhat after the initial shock of Friday.  The impression I got as the game approached was that people would sing their support for Nigel Adkins but it wouldn’t spill over into negativity towards the team as we are not Chelsea.  People knew Pochettino wasn’t to blame for the turn of events and they would back him.  Of course, there were some well known ‘activists’ who managed to blag some column inches or time on TV and Radio who were advocating a ‘white hankie’ protest.  Apparently, if we all waved them it would show our displeasure and send a clear message to the Don that we were unhappy.  The only message it would send was that we were a bunch of bell-ends so I was hoping everyone treated that particular idea with the contempt it deserved.

As I approached the ground with my swipe card season ticket thingy, it did cross my mind that it may have been revoked due to a twitter rant I had at mid-day on Friday but to me relief, I made it into the ground.  I actually pondered buying a programme which I never usually do but decided that it wasn’t going to reveal any details regarding the sacking (this later turned out to be true) so I gave it a swerve.  All the fans I spoke to inside the ground were in a bit of a state of shock over the sacking in view of our improved form – even the guy who sits next to me who was never really a fan of Nigel in the first place.  Thankfully, no one had a white hankie.

To the team news and it was evident that as he said in his first interview Mauricio had been studying Saints for a while as the team was what I would have expected Nigel to put out. 4-2-3-1 with Guly wide left and Sir Rickie up front with J-Rod dropped to the bench.  There was no place for Vegard Forren who was deemed not fit enough (as the Norwegian season finished a couple of months ago) so an injury at centre half would probably see either Frazer or Foxy deployed against Fellaini and Jelavic – please no! 

Any notion that we would be in some kind of sulk as quickly dispelled as we start well and are all over Everton.  Gaston feeds Captain Sir Rickie over on the right who fires in a cross towards the onrushing Guly but Jagielka gets in first and deflects the cross about a foot wide of the post which is probably closer than Guly would have got if he’d got there first.  It’s the first of many efforts as Punch cuts onto his left foot and sees his shot deflected wide and then Gaston lets fly from 25 yards only for Tourette Tim to push it wide.  As it deflected off of a defender, I expect Tim went “shit, fuck, wank” before he made sure and pushed it wide.

Phil Neville showed that after 46 years as a pro that he’s not totally eradicated his tendency to give away stupid free kicks when he clambered over Gaston about 35 yards out.  It really looked miles out but Sir Rickie got it up and over the wall only for a combination of a post and a great save from Tourette Tim to keep it at 0-0.  Bastard!

Everton are of course blessed with having Marouane Fellaini in their side and he’s a handful and a good player but he does himself no favours with the general aggro he brings to the table.  Big Jos slightly tugged him back and the ref gave a free kick and rightly so.  A good few seconds went past before Fellaini brandished the imaginary yellow card and the ref decided to take him up on it and Jos got booked.  Firstly, Fellaini is a wanker for showing the imaginary card and the ref is a total wanker for doing what he was asked.  Surely it’s an obvious one – if someone simulates the showing of a card then they get booked for unsportsmanlike conduct and generally being a twat.

Guly and Gaston are working incredibly hard (for them) and it’s all helping us to pin Everton back and continue to create chances.  Gaston breaks again and Si Rickie cuts inside a sliding defender and attempts a left footed curler into the far past but Howard tips it away.  Next up Gaston goes alone and hits a decent right footed shot which Howard again turns away for a corner.  The Uruguayans’ corner is too long and over everyone bar Yoshida who is clearly barged over for what should have been a penalty but he increasingly annoying Mr Swarbrick isn’t interested.

We have two more chances as the half comes to an end and they both fall to the right man but neither end up in the net.  Firstly, Sir Rickie gets his head on another corner and this time he beats Howard but not Jelavic on the line.  The rebound is fired back in by Big Jos and this time Tourette Tim keeps it out.  He really is a shit, fuck, bollocks, wanker good keeper but he can only watch on as Shaw, Guly, Morgan and Punch keep possession on our left before Punch puts a superb cross right on Sir Rickie’s head and he should have done better than thump a header wide.  The final action of the half is for Morgan to pick up a booking and it’s another one requested by an Everton player after the ref had (rightly) given the free kick.  A decent half for us but would we regret not scoring when we were on top?  No way would Everton be that bad again in the second half.

The second half starts and it immediately becomes apparent that there must be a massive slope on the ground from the Chapel to the Northam End as it’s Everton doing all the attacking.  Fellaini has two efforts in a few minutes as he connects with right wing cross with a low volley that King Artur saves with his legs.  From the resulting corner, Fellaini manages to get a free header in front of Big Jos but it’s straight at the Pole in Goal and so we breathe again.  We’re struggling to get anything going now and Everton come close again when Osman’s drive from the edge of the box flicks off a Japanese head and goes for a corner.  Everton change tactics with Anichebe coming on and they now have a forward who might actually threaten unlike Jelavic who is thankfully on the end of Anichebe’s pull back, instead of a player who might score.

J-Rod comes on for Guly in Mauricio’s first substitution as Saints manager and seems to initially slot in wide on the left where he’s previously proven to not be very good.  It still one way traffic towards our goal though and Anichebe finds himself one on one with King Artur and his shot is superbly turned aside by our resident nutter.

Gaston is down with what looks like cramp and has to be replaced with Steven Davis and Punch then broke the record for the fastest exit from the pitch when not being substituted.  I’m writing this with hindsight but at the time, I had no idea that he’d gone off for a shite and I still have no idea how the Northam knew but on his return he was greeted with a Sloop John B variation with the lyrics “Jason Puncheon – he went for a shit” before it was modified to  “Jason Puncheon, he shits where he wants”.  Punch seemed to find it all amusing and I hope he went in the away dressing room, preferably in Fellaini’s hand bag.

Don’t get me wrong, Fellaini is a good player.  Since Anichebe came on he’s dropped into midfield and he’s running the show, knocking simple balls and generally enjoying the run of the park as we seem scared of him.  No one wants to go near him and you can see why when Morgan eventually does and comes away with a black eye for his pains.  I guess when you know that the referee is as useless as Mr Swarbrick that you’re not going to get any protection at all.  Like I said, good player but a very dirty one.

We’re back on the front foot as the game draws to a close with J-Rod winning a corner.  Even though it’s a long way from the toilet, Punch is happy to take it and his corner is met by Sir Rickie at the back stick but his header just clears the bar and lands on the roof of the net.  Mauricio makes his final substitution with Steeeeeve getting his obligatory 5 minutes to try and not give the ball away as he comes on for Punch who is touching cloth as he disappears straight down the tunnel.  Both teams have settled for a point as the injury time ticks down and so it transpires as Mr Swarbrick makes a decisive decision and blows the final whistle in expert fashion.

Mauricio Pochettino’s interviews after the game were conducted via an interpreter and followed the pattern where the reporter would ask a standard question along the lines of “How did you find your first game?”, then the interpreter would translate to Spanish before Mauricio answered for a good three minutes before the interpreter gave a much shorter version which definitely missed out a lot of the detail.   This process did produce a decent answer to a question about Punch’s toilet break when Pochettino figured that “players get nervous when there’s a new manager”.

Overall., I’d say that the first game for the new manager was a success.  He didn’t try to do too much too soon in that the formation was the same as usual and the players used were as expected.  One change was that we seemed to press higher up the pitch and more aggressively which worked really well in the first half until Everton stepped up a gear in the second.   Individually, the main differences were in Gaston Ramirez and Guly do Prado who played with a lot more intent and took their defending a lot more seriously than they usually do.   It’s interesting that we’re talking about communication and the managers’ lack of English.  Maybe the all-English coaching staff we had before couldn’t get their message across properly to the Spanish/Portuguese speaking players who don’t have the best of English.   For example, I can’t imagine Andy Crosby being able to get into the mind of a 22 year old Uruguayan international.

Other positives on the playing side... well Artur Boruc looked like the quality keeper that I knew we’d signed back in September and will surely be first choice from now to the end of the season and we’ll be all the better for it.   It’s worth remembering that his contract only runs to the end of the year and along with Punch, it’s one I’d be looking to renew sharpish.  Morgan and Corky again demonstrated their value to us with superb all round midfield displays and Punch demonstrated a turn of pace we didn’t know he had by making the toilet before he shat himself... well, we can but hope he made it in time anyway.

I thought the behaviour of our fans was first class.  I’ve been disappointed with certain things this season like the booing of Guly and the Boruc incident but today there was no booing, no one being a dick and nothing but support for the team.  I noticed the ‘one Nigel Adkins’ chants once in each half, both times during a break in play.  There were no white hankies or anything else to make us look stupid and even though the media will spin it whichever way they like, there was no revolt and no protest and there wasn’t “90 minutes of pro-Adkins chanting in a cauldron of hate” as I read somewhere.  Sadly, the Club saw fit to play into the media’s hands by not even mentioning Nigel Adkins in the programme.  Would it really have killed them to have a two page tribute outlining his achievements at the club and maybe an explanation from the Don along the lines of “It’s my decision as I feel this will take the club forward etc  etc”.  It really wouldn’t have killed anyone and wouldn’t have made any situation worse. Instead, it’s all a bit North Korea or some Sci-Fi film where a person is “erased”.  You don’t exist, in fact you never existed.

Due to our decision to retire gracefully from the FA Cup this year, we have a blank weekend and so Mauricio Pochettino’s first away game is a nice easy one at Old Trafford on Wednesday week.  In many ways it’s a free hit as nothing is expected but then, nothing was expected at Chelsea either.  United will give us chances to score so you never know.

As they possibly say in Spain through a translator –

Permite ir y pegar uno por esos cabrones arrogantes. Tal vez tengamos que soportar 10 minutos de tiempo de Fergie pero podemos conseguir algo, incluso con van Persie y el Shagger Granny montar de nuevo. Tienen un portero de mierda en de Gea y Rio Ferdinand tiene un error en él en todo momento. Cara de remolacha sin duda estará pendiente del soporte Taggart como él obtendrá una línea prohibición para su última diatriba en un funcionario... sí, claro.

Bring it on.

Just when you thought it was going well...

Thanks for the memories (Promotion Day April 2012)

I have no idea if this is going to say what I want it to say or not…

The first thing I did was re-read what I wrote when Alan Pardew got sacked

http://leagueoneminus10.blogspot.co.uk/2010/08/here-we-go-again.html

I found myself on Thursday night, getting very annoyed at people worrying about a Daily Mirror article which said that Mauricio Pochettino was to take over from Nigel Adkins.  There were no quotes on the piece and it looked like a classic ‘hidden agenda’ piece prompted by a managers agent to a journalist friend.  Pochettino’s record is unremarkable on the face of it and why would we want another manager as we were doing well.  The timing was wrong as we’d turned our form around and we’re in the middle of a transfer window.  If Nigel was going to be sacked it would have been either after the West Ham 4-1 defeat or the abysmal performance in the 2-0 defeat at West Brom or if we get relegated.  The article annoyed me because so many people were taking it as gospel when of course, it had to be fabricated – after all, the media are sometimes known to tell porkies.

Today, my preoccupation with snow on the ground and kids schools being closed was replaced with more irritation when I logged into Twitter.  The story was growing legs… and a tail and three heads and had been fitted with a rocket engine with turbo-boosters.  There are lots of alleged journalists on Twitter and one said “I’m hearing that Adkins has been sacked”, then another and then just before mid-day it as confirmed on the Saints Official Site.  What was in fact confirmed was that we had a new manager and it was Pochettino.  “Nigel Adkins has been relieved of his duties” was the last line… and that’s the piss poor part.

Nigel has left the building after two and a half years and a rise from 20^th in League 1 to 15^th in the Premier League.  He’s been promoted every season and was on course to keep us in the Premier League this season.  He’s been replaced with a manager who doesn’t speak English, has very little experience as a manager and was sacked from Espanyol earlier on this season when they were bottom of the league.  There are extenuating circumstances as he’s been forced to live with a player fire-sale that even the Skates would be proud of.

This of course is a decision made by Don Cortese and he will 100% believe that he is right and he will 100% be doing this because he thinks it’s the right thing for Southampton Football Club.  I have no problem with that but the manner of it is appalling.  An often quoted phrase these days is that “football is about business” and I get that.  I just hoped that deep down, my club would still hold some kind of shred of decency towards a man they owe so much to.  Today’s events prove though that we as a club, are utterly ruthless in the pursuit of where we went to get to and the speed in which we want to get there and this to me is not necessarily a good thing.  I find it quite sad now that there is absolutely no shred of decency left in the game at this level and there is no thought given to treating people fairly.  In a ‘normal’ work environment, you have targets and you are judged on whether you achieve them or not.  I’d love to know what Nigel’s targets actually were for the season.  Maybe it was to qualify for Europe – it sounds insane but after today I wouldn’t be surprised.

Nigel Adkins is a popular man both with us and fans of other clubs (except Brighton fans because they are a very strange bunch) and even the more fair minded Pompey fans seemed to think he was decent and it’s been remarkable how many plaudits we’ve got from fans of other clubs for the way we play, even if we’ve got beat.  He combined getting results, decent football and being a success with being a lovely bloke.  He’s not arrogant like Mourinho, a bully like Ferguson, a bell end like Holloway, a nasty piece of work like Poyet or a disloyal liar like Appleton.  It’s his human characteristics that make this so hard to swallow and on the one hand, I just feel desperately sorry for the guy and it left me feeling sick in the stomach.  Saints was his dream job and what an exceptional job he’s done and how do Saints repay him – they sack him.  What else could he have done?  He’s delivered a 5 year plan 2 years early but it’s not enough.  If we’d been relegated this year given the investment in players that went on in the summer then I think most would say fair enough but to do it now is baffling.  He’s an honourable man and a decent man and he’ll always be a Saints legend.  In my eyes, he’s on a par with Lawrie McMenemy as our most impressive manager.

When it was confirmed I went into a big ‘fuck off and fuck you and return my season ticket’ rant but after calming down I actually thought that as far as Nigel is concerned, part of me is quite pleased for him.  He's has two and a half years of success and has left on a high after the recent run so he leaves with 99% of Saints fans wishing him well and appreciating what he’s done for us.  The other 1% aren't worth worrying about but they are out there.  Also, as a manager his stock is high and like Alan Pardew when he left, he’s been great for Southampton and Southampton’s been great for him so he’ll get another decent job if and when he wants to go back in.  Hopefully he’s made a few quid on the remainder of his contract as well and he’ll wake up tomorrow and I’m sure that part of him will be relieved that he’s not got to work for that wanker of a boss in the morning.

Thinking back, there was an interesting interview after the West Ham away game (where we got humped 4-1) and Nigel got as irritated as I’ve ever heard him when questioned about the formation when he snapped “we play 4-3-3”.  Since that moment we’ve varied the formation a bit and the results have improved.  I have never believed he was being dictated to on football matters but maybe that was the point where Nigel said ‘fuck it – if I’m going to get sacked I’m going to do it on my own terms’.  It seems now, (especially with Pochettino's revelation below) that the decision was made round about this time.  You wonder if Cortese was hoping we'd get murdered 8-0 on Wednesday to make this easier.

So, to the new guy and Mauricio Pochettino faced the press with his interpreter but unforgivably, Cortese lived up to the stereotype of the Italian coward and didn’t show up.  This is amazingly poor.  No doubt he’ll say that he wanted the Press Conference to be about the new man and not about Nigel but even so, it was a diabolical lack of support for the new manager as I can’t believe for a second he didn’t realise the depth of feeling there was going to be about this.  Fair play to Pochettino for fronting up on his own and some of his answers were interesting.  He let slip that he’s been researching Saints for weeks which suggests that Nigel’s fate was sealed before we started playing well which again adds to the ‘shabby’ nature of it all.  He also said that we didn’t necessarily need new players, which was a bit of a shock to some people but by the end of the Press Conference it was revealed that Vegard Forren had signed.  Pochettino also revealed that he was impressed with the work Nigel Adkins had done which was a nice, if possibly scripted, touch.  

So what now?  Well, we just have to get on with it.  Pochettino is here now and we have to support him and the team.  It’s not his fault that he’s here and it’s not the players either as they gave their all for Nigel so who are we hurting if we boo the new manager?  I guarantee that Cortese won’t give a shit.  If there is a poisonous atmosphere at games now then we won’t be helping anyone and we’ll be just like the Chelsea fans.  Their situation is different because they have a manager in Benitez who they know is not up to it and has insulted the club before.  Pochettino’s only crime is not being Nigel Adkins.  I would suggest giving it a large ‘One Nigel Adkins’ up until the game starts, at half time and even at the end but during the game itself, just support the boys in red on the pitch.

We had a 5 year plan when Markus Liebherr and Nicola Cortese arrived to go from League 1 Minus 10 to the Premier League.  Nigel Adkins took over in year two and did all of that by the end of year 3.  He did it with a smile on his face, by maintaining his integrity and playing decent football and his reward was to be shown the door in the most heartless way imaginable.  Mauricio Pochettino is in a stange position – I wouldn’t think anyone will blame him if we go down and no one with blame Nigel Adkins.  Nicola Cortese has put all his eggs in the Pochettino basket and has taken an almighty gamble.  If he’d appointed Mourinho then it’s not a gamble and I think people would understand this a bit more but make no mistake, this is a massive gamble.  Just as Nigel Adkins gambled on leaving Sir Rickie out on Wednesday but was 100% sure he was right, Cortese has taken this gamble today with the same belief.  When men are like this, there are always casualties and I think that Nigel Adkins knew, in his emotional interview straight after we got promoted back to the Premier League, that sooner or later, he would be one of them.

Thanks for everything Nigel Adkins – a true Saints legend and good luck with whatever you do next.  It's my round, what you having ?

Premier League Match 22 - Chelsea 2 Southampton 2

"It no' fair - Nigel, he have better subs than me"

I’m not looking forward to this.  When your game in hand is against Chelsea away and there are no other league games that night, you know that a lot of people are looking on an expecting you to get thumped.  This is of course especially true given the 5-1 gubbing they gave us at St.Marys’ in the FA Cup all of 10 days ago.  On the plus side, I’m sure we’ll try tonight and not leave out our two best attacking players like we did in the FA Cup game.  Also, Chelsea are struggling a bit at home in the league, going all of one game without a win which was a freak 0-1 defeat at home to QPR.  That really is the extent of their ‘struggles’ as the home game before that was an 8-0 win. 

Saints have been linked with all sorts of players in the last few days which will of course have varying degrees of validity.  The most likely looks like Vegard Forren, a Norwegian international centre back who according to the Twittersphere is all but signed from Molde.  He was invited for a trial at Liverpool but, as he's perfectly entitled to do as an international, he told them to do one.  Who the fuck do they think they are?  Then you have Frederik Sorenson, a Danish centre back who is currently in some sort of dual ownership contract with Juventus and Bologna.  This one sounds like a nightmare so if it happens, it won’t be until the 47^th of January.  Next we have Mauro Zarate of Lazio, an Argentinean forward who once played for Birmingham and finally and most improbably, Seba Fernandez of Malaga, a 5 foot 5 striker who is Gaston’s best mate.  Hmmmm, do the names Kleber Chala and Imants Bleidelis ring any bells?  All these players are of course in the Italian League because The Don picks all the transfer targets...except the lad in Norway...oh, and the one in Spain.

Surprisingly, Chelsea have the same manager as they had 10 days ago at SMS in Rafa Benitez, who I have always found an easy manager to ridicule given that he lived off of winning the Champions League with someone elses team for about 7 years at Liverpool and started the trend of buying shit players for too much money which they still live by today.   I also like the way that he cracks up under pressure and starts interviewing himself like he’s some sort of ventriloquist with a glove puppet on each hand.  It’s not his fault however, that Chelsea paid £50 million quid for Fernando Torres but it’s Rafa’s job to get him scoring goals again and looking like a footballer again.  At the moment, it appears that his way of doing this is to buy another centre forward and drop him.

Chelsea’s team shows a few changes from the FA Cup games with Cech back in goal, Lampard in for Ivanovic and Oscar in for Moses.  This means their defensive midfield pairing is Lampard and Ramires which may give us some opportunities which may not have been there had Luiz been in midfield as per the Cup game and another centre half been picked.  Talking of which, Shgger Terry was on the bench along with the £50million ladyboy is there in case Rafa wants to practice playing with 10.

As for us.... oh God he’s done it again!!!  Sir Rickie is on the bench along with Gaston and their places have gone to Guly and Steven Davis making our team looking remarkably similar to that which played in the 5-1 defeat.  I expect that the impending sense of doom amongst Saints fans, would have multiplied to apocalyptic proportions when the team was announced.  For me it’s simple – we aren’t going to keep a clean sheet today barring a miracle so we need goalscorers on the pitch and we’re a better side with Sir Rickie on the pitch and oh yes, we always look complete shite when he’s not playing.

Todays’s first half is brought to you by a terrible streaming of the game on the internet.  It’s the Fox Sports American Soccerball coverage and whilst the picture regularly freezes, the commentary never does.  After his first touch, one of the faceless morons has sold Shaw to Chelsea and they don't know the names of many of our players.  The picture freezes when Guly is in shot which may actually just be the Brazilian freezing in the cold and not a problem with the feed.

We have the first shot of the game of sorts as J-Rod hits a wildly optimistic one at the corner flag and we pass the ball about pretty well.  When Chelsea did manage to build something, Oscar fired wide from the edge of the box and a Ramires burst forward was halted by a combination of Yoshida and all the other defenders flailing about in some sort of scramble defence system.  We’re giving as good as we get though and Punch headed one nowhere near the goal following a decent cross from Guly.

We are looking fairly comfortable with it all and keeping Chelsea at arms length but then out of nowhere we go 1-0 down and it’s very preventable as Davis finds himself on the edge of our own area with the ball and panics, sending a shite clearance about 10 yards straight to Lampard who works it out to Azpilicueta to cross into the box where Big Jos doesn’t cover himself in glory with a challenge on Hazard and it finds its way to Demba Fucking Ba again whose acrobatic volley takes a deflection off of Yoshida to give Artur no chance at all.   Ba’s celebration involves kneeling and down and kissing the ground with his arse in the air.  It’ll be interesting to see if he does that when John Terry is back in the side… I wouldn’t risk it myself.

We immediately create a chance to go level with Yoshida picking out J-Rod with a decent ball and he laid back to Davis who totally fails to make up for his ricket with the Chelsea goal and tamely sidefoots wide.  After this there is the worry that we are going to concede again (and then get dicked) and Chelsea seem to be growing into the game with Luiz finding time and space to bring the ball out and ping it around.  I thought ‘time on the ball’ was one of the things this formation and players was supposed to prevent.  A lovely ball from Azpilicueta puts Mata away in the inside right channel and his pullback pick out Lampard who surprisingly manages to drag his shot wide from the edge of the box from a position he’s scored about 150 of his Chelsea goals from.  There’s more Chelsea pressure in the lead up to half time but we survive again as following a quick free kick for nothing I could see, Ba heads down a cross and Hazard knees it towards goal with Artur flying across to make sure it went past the post.

I’m quite happy to be going in at half time having only conceded one goal which is remarkably similar to what I said in the 44^th minute in the FA Cup game.  Now as then it all goes to rat shit as Lampard’s cross is half cleared by a retreating Yoshida and goes straight to Ramires who crashes it against the bar.  If you thought we were going to away with it for a nanosecond then think again as the ball flew to Hazard who showed superb technique to volley it into the net.  Shite, big time, 2-0, game over

We manage to negotiate the last 15 seconds without conceding another  and half time is here.  The second goal is a killer and it makes our whole performance look shite.  We’ve turned up, tried to park the bus and are 2-0 down having had no shots on target.  Not good and something has to change and you wonder what the Scouse striker and Uruguayan playmaker were saying to each other (via an interpreter) as they went to the changing room.

The second half is brought to you by an internet stream with the word ‘Voetbal’ in the title.  It’s Dutch of course and so is the commentary which is perfect because I can’t tell if they’re selling our players to the big clubs as the game goes on.  There are strange pronunciations aplenty though and we seem to have acquired a Korean Number 42 called Purn She Horn.

We aren’t really doing anything differently or looking any more threatening at the start of the second half so when we win a corner it feels like a bit of a victory and we have a bit of hope as the big guys pile forward and then watch as Guly’s corner is complete shit and is cleared by the first defender at shin height.  For a second I knew what it’s like to be a Guly hater as I have a very loud attack of Tourettes syndrome.

Ten minutes in and nothing is happening for us and it’s time for the big man with J-Rod being the man to make way in a straight swap.  Sir Rickie immediately gets involved with some link up play and we immediately look a better side as he’s contributed more in 30 seconds than J-Rod has in 55.  Two minutes later and there’s no argument on that score as Clyne finds himself on the right with Ashley Cole absent (presumably answering his phone with his arse) and just Hazard to take on who he bundles past before crossing for Sir Rickie to thump a header past Cech to make it 2-1.  It’s a classic big centre forward goal as the replay shows that he shoves Cahill out of the way before the cross comes in.  Come on!!!

Chappers is getting prepared to come on to give us some more legs in midfield and it’s Davis who is going off.  Chappers immediately gets forward from midfield as is pulled for an offside decision which was bollocks.  I wouldn’t mention that sort of thing usually but it showed that we now had intent to commit some bodies forward and it showed what he brings to the party.  However, Chelsea look dangerous fleetingly as Ba stretched for a Mata ball over the top and volleys over the bar and then Yoshida trashes Mata on the edge of the box but Frank’s march towards the Chelsea goalscoring record will have to wait another week as his free kick goes just wide.

More Saints intent was then summoned from the bench as Gaston came on for Guly who really had been poor today which is a bit of a surprise seeing as he’s been decent when called upon recently.  Within 5 minutes it had happened.  A Chelsea attack was broken up and Chappers sent Shaw away on the left.  He burnt Azpilicuta for pace who couldn’t get back at him and then crossed along the top of the box where Gaston couldn’t control it but Punch could, before flicking it up and volleying it past Cech for a quite brilliant finish.  I don’t fucking believe this – 2-2.

Chelsea were obviously rattled by our comeback and Rafa was happy with what they had and decided to shut up shop by taking off Lampard and bringing on Torres.  This was a universally popular move with the Chelsea faithful as you can imagine – fancy settling for a point against Southampton at home.

On thing that Gaston has to learn is that it’s not OK to keep giving away stupid free kicks.  First he ran into Ramires and then after a run forward, he needlessly pulled Oscar’s shirt when we would have had a throw in, in a decent position.  He’s obviously learnt from the master though as Torres loses the ball to Morgan and then as Gaston set off with it, thought it was ok to grab him by the shoulders and haul him back.  How the ladyboy didn’t get a  booking for that one, I will never know.

The rest of the game passed off without too much alarm.  It was all Chelsea but the only shot they got in was a shit one from Torres which went wide of the near post.  There was a half-hearted penalty shout when Cahill fell over and Torres produced one final moment of shiteness by floating a cross over everyone and out for a goal kick when perfectly placed and not under much pressure.

Full time and you got to be happy with that.  It feels like a win when of course, it actually isn’t.  What it is though is a totally unexpected point rescued from what looked like an impossible position only 50 minutes ago.  Sir Rickie’s goal straight after coming on either proves Nigel was right not to start him or it proves him wrong.  The bottom line is that after 95 minutes we’re leaving with a point we couldn’t have expected.  Is Nigel and genius or is he lucky?  Today I think he was both.  Benitez had been saying int he buildup about teams who come to Chelsea and defend deep and Chelsea struggling to break them down.  Well, they broke us down twice and we still managed to be more expansive in the second half and come storming back.  My heart bleeds for the team assembled for a budget greater than the GDP of most small countries. 

Nigel predictably straight-batted the inevitable questions about any incoming players and gave no hint as to the status of any negotiations or otherwise of Punch’s contract negotiations.  He was also predictably forthright about leaving Sir Rickie out, using the final score to justify the selection and you can’t really argue with that.  Despite this, I will never accept that it’s a good idea to leave him out.  J-Rod was completely ineffective for the duration of his stay on the pitch and didn’t really seem to close down the Chelsea centre backs at all as Davis Luiz was pinging balls about all over the place in the first half.  The players brought in, Guly and Davis both had shockers with the former not managing to find a red shirt all day and hitting two of the worst set pieces into the box in living memory and the latter messing up royally for the first goal and just generally recycling the ball for Chelsea.  You have to give it to the manager though for having great big brass balls and completely having the courage of his convictions.  He does what he thinks is right for each individual game, regardless of what’s happened before and you gotta love that about the guy.

Next up we have Everton at home on Monday with a Sky o’clock kick off in a game that I think will be every bit as challenging as this one.  Will Sir Rickie be back in the starting line up and will it be warm enough for Guly to play.  Come to think of it, will it be on as we are supposed to have a load of snow dumped on us over the weekend.  Get yourselves to SMS on Monday and bring the noise. 

Premier League Match 21 - Aston Villa 0 Southampton 1

Villa Defender not in shot

Another week and another six pointer and another load of bullshit in the media.  The spirit of the QPR ‘El Sackico’ game has been dredged up with focus on whoever the losing manager is this weeks match between Aston Villa and our good selves.  Nigel is on his way again and again it’s Roberto di Matteo taking over, no doubt because he’s just been sacked and he’s Italian and so is the Don Cortese.  Also coming in is Christian Gross who was absolutely brilliant for Spurs when he was manager there about 10 years ago... and by ‘brilliant’, I actually mean ‘completely shit’.  Gross is coming in because he’s just been sacked and he’s Swiss and so is the Don Cortese.  

The Transfer window is now open of course and a river of media shite has been cut off at source by the declaration of intent to stay with Saints made by Luke Shaw.  It appears he’s verbally agreed to sign a five year contract when he turns 18 which is in the summer which is excellent news and I’m sure that all we have to do to confirm this, is not get relegated.  As for incoming players – well we’re heavily linked with centre half Davide Astori who has a couple of caps for Italy and we’re slightly less heavily linked with Phillippe Coutinho, a Brazilian winger from AC Milan but needless to say, it’s not the 32nd of January yet so we haven’t got anyone in.

As for Villa, well they have had a bad few weeks having been gubbed 8-0 at Chelsea and 3-0 at home to Wigan.  They then topped this off by losing 3-1 in the League Cup Semi Final first leg to League 2 Bradford City.    I think it’s best that we save laughing about their Chelsea result after we’ve played there next Wednesday I think as we’ve just managed to lose 5-1 to the Blues at home.  As for the League Cup result – well, no doubt it’s a bad result but at least Villa are in the Semi.  Not many  noises are being made about the future of Paul Lambert as we speak which maybe down to senior players Bent, Dunne, Given and Albrighton all out injured.   Our need is great though and sympathy for rivals should be in short supply and in truth, I have none.

Villa’s main threat is obviously going to come from the hulking figure of Christian Benteke who, as the adjective ‘hulking’ suggests, is fucking massive.  Worryingly, he seems to be pulling away to our right to play against Clyne who is not hulking at all.  He gets his first chance on 6 minutes which thankfully skews off his boot and nearly goes for a throw. 

After this kind of half-scare, Saints take over and start to do their thing.  We’re playing in similar fashion to how we did at Stoke in that we are getting it forward quickly but accurately, though the move for our first chance starts with Corky in the right back slot who slides the ball into Sir Rickie who first time, sends J-Rod away down the right.  He has the left back Stevens on toast and cuts in towards goal before taking a step too far and getting too close to Guzan.  He pulls the ball back but straight to Clark who seems to pass it back to the keeper.  Put it this way, I’ve seen them given.

Gaston has been stationed wide left in a 4-4-2 which is not really his thing but he’s up against Lowton who resembles a League 1 hacker, never more so than when he Ninjas into a tackle with the ball nowhere in sight and comes down on Gaston’s knee.  It’s a definite yellow and borderline red card for dangerous play but for some reason, the ref gives nothing except a throw in.  As I said earlier, I’ve seen them given.

Saints are totally in the ascendancy now and Corky and Morgan are dictating play in the middle.  Punch on the right is turning Stevens inside out and puts in a superb cross which J-Rod meets and makes a balls of header and flicks it wide.  More decent play later and Corky feeds Shaw who attacks the box before dragging his shot just wide of the far post with Guzan scrambling.

With 10 minutes to half time, Villa have won a corner in a rare foray forward which is a reason for the Villa fans to get excited and then it all goes wrong as the corner is shit and it hits the first man who in this case was J-Rod.  His clearance is returned to the edge of the box but J-Rod sprints out and beats a ponderous Villa challenge before setting off.  He gets to the edge of the box where he stumbles and one Villa defender hoofs it against another and Guzan has to fly out and clear the rebound before Punch gets there.  Now the controversy as J-Rod takes on Stevens who leaves a leg in and J-Rod falls over.  The ref points to the spot and the Villa players go nuts.  He clearly hasn’t touched him and J-Rod’s gone down without appealing and he looks as stunned as anyone that he’s given it.  Some players are no doubt opining that he’s a cheating bastard and all that as Sir Rickie (who cares not about controversy) sends Guzan the wrong way to make it 1-0.  Get in!!!!

We’re still in the ascendency leading up to half time as Shaw gets himself more headlines on the shit transfer window websites by burning past Lowton on the outside and driving into the box.  He seems to get a bit lost as he bears down on goal and attempts to curl it with the outside of his boot rather than pick anyone out and Guzan saves his shot with his legs.  Can you imagine the shitstorm of attention if he’d scored? Half time arrives and all is well with the predictable crowd of Villa players around the ref.

Villa switch things around for the start of the second half and look much more solid as a result and put us under a bit of pressure.  Ten minutes in and the ball broke to Stevens on the edge of the box and his shot flicked off of Maya, forcing Boruc into an excellent reaction save.  The rebound went straight to Benteke who did a ‘Guly at Stoke’ and sidefooted it wide.  That’s how I saw it anyway but here’s an extract from The Pink which is produced by The Daily Echo.

“Benteke should have equalised on 52 after another goalkeeping error from Boruc.  This time the keeper dived to his right to save Stevens shot from the edge of the area but put it straight back to Benteke….” 

The Pink reporter is obviously a paid up member of the Kelvin Davis fan club which is a really petty way of reporting on a football match.  That was a bloody good save by Boruc and I’m going to call him King Artur from now on… because I can.  Back to the game and Villa bring on the sometimes dangerous Agbohlahor for N’Zogbia (was it Alan Pardew who called him N’Somnia which got him all upset?) and we’re back on the attack again with Punch tricking his way across the top of the penalty area and hitting his left foot scuffer past Guzan and onto the post and away.

Ten minutes to go and Danny Fox is on for Gaston and Steven Davis is on for Punch which is an indication of Nigel wanting to hold what we have.  King Artur is showing up well in goal, safely claiming anything coming his way but he put Shaw in a spot of bother with a dodgy throw which gives Lowton the opportunity to go in late and crunch him after he’s cleared it.  Needless to say, the League 1 hacker takes the opportunity.  The ref must have thought it was serious as he stopped the game, causing the Villa players to all go ape shit once more, especially Agbonlahor who looks like he is chewing a wasp.  Being carried off on a stretcher kind of shows that the ref got it right but it doesn’t stop the Villa faithful booing Shaw as he’s carried off.  What a bunch of classless pricks.  Nigel decides that he feels sorry for the Villa fans and brings on Steeeeeeeve so they at least have a sure fire way of getting the ball back and lobbing it into our box.  Villa get a corner off of Foxy and the resulting kick is headed onto the top of the bar by Baker.  Close!

There is just time for Steeeeeve to do his thing as he runs out of defence down the left wing and totally fails to play the obvious ball up the line to J-Rod who has bust a gut to get up there.  By the time he finishes pissing about and passes it, J-Rod is offside and so Villa get to load it long, everyone misses it and Agbonlahor, who has stopped chewing the wasp, is faced with a goal to shoot at and a star-jumping King Artur flying out at him.  A big save sees the ball come out to Beneke again who showed that he hadn’t learnt from the last time and put it wide again in crap fashion, thankfully.  After what seemed like a week of injury time, it was all over.

The first thing you have to say is that it’s a great win, in terms of playing a vital game against a relegation rival, away from home and nicking a 1-0.  This is the first thing – in fact it’s the only thing.

However, it’s fun to discuss the specifics which are of course that the winning goal was from the dodgiest of dodgy penalties.  If it had been certain other players who went over then I would have had no hesitation in saying that he went for it and he dived.  J-Rod however looked like he just fell over and the ref gave it which is not his fault.  I don’t care what anyone says, no player in the Premier League is going to go to the ref and say that he dived once a decision has been given in his favour.  This is not a new thing either – contrary to bollocks that people come out with, diving was happening back in the 70s and no one went to the ref to try and get a decision in their favour reversed then either.  The other side of it though is that if I was a Villa fan, I’d be spitting feathers over it in my Brummie accent. In some small way, it was a blessing for Paul Lambert who could use it to deflect attention away from another home defeat against a relegation rival.  Maybe the old cliché about “things going against you when you’re at the bottom” is in fact “things go against you when you’re down the bottom and your manager is a miserable unintelligible Scotsman”.  The post match interviews from Saints though were embarrassing.  Captain Sir Rickie said it was a stonewall penalty which it clearly wasn’t and Nigel waffled and kind of suggested that it was ok because if the challenge had come in then it would have been a foul.  If my Auntie had a dick she’d be my Uncle.  I think he just fell over but the rest of the world will think it’s a Bale.

A major positive of the game was the clean sheet.  It was heartening to see the form of King Artur Boruc who is getting better each match and confirming my long held belief that he’d be our best goalkeeper given a run in the team.  He made 2 or 3 excellent and brave saves today and also caught almost everything that came his way in a way that neither of our other keepers do.  It was good to see Clyne’s name back on the teamsheet though he did struggle a bit today and Yoshida and Big Jos somehow managed to play their part in keeping a clean sheet despite not winning a single header cleanly all game against Benteke.  It’s good that Jos neither hoofed someone up in the air to give away a penalty, nor finished off an opposition move for them.  Luke Shaw, as usual, was excellent and provided more going forward than usual with the chance he made for himself in the first half being a highlight and an indication of what could be as he gets more confident and accustomed to Premier League football.   The midfield bar Gaston all had decent matches, Sir Rickie scored the winner and J-Rod ran his bollocks off for 90 minutes which cause Villa all sorts of problems.  His reward for his performance though will probably be a reputation as a diver.   It was a battle but we did it.

Next up we have our game in hand which a rather daunting midweek trip to Chelsea who of course, will fancy battering us again.   I would imagine that the injury to Shaw will mean that he’s out so a back 4 of Fox, Jos, Maya and Clyne will be trying to keep out whoever plays out of Ba, Mata, Hazard, Moses and Lampard.  There is a chink of light though in that Torres might play as he was sub as they smashed Stoke 4-0 on Saturday.  The #RafaOut tag on Twitter is either inundated or empty depending on the Chelsea result so let’s hope it’s overflowing on Wednesday evening. 

It’s a bonus game and there’s no pressure on us.  Let’s get it over with..

FA Cup 3rd Round - Southampton 1 Chelsea 5

The cover of the Programme told you all you needed to know.

Before the draw was made for the FA Cup I had decided to break the habit of a lifetime and not go.  The only way I would have definitely reversed this decision was if we got the Skates which was pretty unlikely given that by the time the draw was made for the 3^rd Round, they were long gone.  So, we got drawn at home to Chelsea and I definitely wasn’t going to go because fuck paying £40 for a ticket.  Then we set the prices at a reasonable £25 and then my 8 year old son fancied going due to Frank Lampard being his favourite England player so I relented and here we are at St.Mary’s.

I said at the end of the last blog that we wouldn’t take this game seriously no matter what anyone from SFC said in the build up.  As expected, Nigel talked up the FA Cup and great memories from it and talked of how it was different to the League Cup and taken more seriously etc etc yeah yeah my arse.  When the team was read out, Nigel had decided to leave our Sir Rickie and Gaston who, in case you didn’t know are our two best and most likely to score players and replace them with J-Rod and James Ward-Prowse.  Corky was at right back again and the overall feel of the starting line-up was ‘makeshift’.  Chelsea on the other hand were coming off the back of a pathetic home defeat to QPR in the league where Rafa did what Rafa does and looked at the second game and forgot all about the first.  The upshot was that they turned up at SMS with their full side and even managed to buy Demba Ba so that Torres, that useless sulking £50 million quid worth of ladyboy didn’t have to play.  Hazard and Mata returned having been rested against QPR and their side on paper looked rather tasty.  The prospect of David Luiz and Ramires playing against Steven Davis and JWP gave me the shits.  As for my lad – well, he was running a temperature and doing the weak and feeble thing that kids do and Lampard was on the bench – not a good start.

Cup games of course mean that the seats around you will be filled by a different arse to usual and there is of course, the chance that there will be away fans in your section especially as we’re playing a big team.  To my delight, next to me was a Chelsea supporting twat from Romsey.  Now, I know a few Chelsea supporting twats as I work with one who is unbearable in his glory hunting and lack of knowledge of anything non-Chelsea.  He’s been unbearable ever since well before they won the Champions League but it of course has peaked from that point on.  I wanted bragging rights for Monday of course but as the game kicked off, I knew I wasn’t going to get them.

The first ten minutes are mainly taken up with me trying to get used to us playing at home in the white monstrosity which looks ok close up but just looks crap from the stands.  The players have started quite well in it though and we’re keeping Chelsea at arms length and trying to get J-Rod in at every opportunity.

Chelsea Romsey then manages to set a record for ‘earliest piss after the game has started’ by making everyone get up and move for him on 12 minutes.  Inside my head a voice is going “no, fuck off and go the other way” but being the nice chap that I am, I let him out.  He was back just in time to see us break forward and see Punch deliver a superb diagonal pass to J-Rod who took it in his stride and flicked it past Turnbull with the outside of his right foot and watched it nestle in the corner.  A brilliant pass and finish and 3000 Chelsea fans in the Northam and several hundred around the rest of the ground fell silent.

The next ten minutes sees a bit of a surge in confidence which Chelsea combat with Cahill fouling J-Rod at every opportunity and getting away with it.  Around the half hour mark the tide was beginning to turn as the Chelsea midfield took hold of proceedings.  Ramires, Mata and Hazard suddenly all started playing and we responded by letting them get on with it.  Our midfield ‘screen’ just disappeared and Chelsea picked passes at will.  It was a matter of time and so it came to pass that in the 35^th minute, Moses and Hazard combined to set Mata free who dinked to ball past Boruc for Ba to hoof into the empty net to beat Fernando Torres’ “Minutes for a first Chelsea goal” record by 876 minutes.

Chelsea Romsey has seen 40 minutes go up on the scoreboard and decided that he needs to go to the bar so we all stand up again and whilst the game is going on, he’s taking his mates beer orders as everyone else just tries to look round him.  What a complete twat this bloke is.  My only consolation about what happens next is that he missed it.  45 minutes were up as Cole burst past Cork and rolled it back for Moses to smash into the net with an excellent finish.  For the past five minutes I’d been desperate for us to get to half time at 1-1 and then you never know… but the instant the ball hit the net, you kind of knew that was it.  We were so close to half time that we barely had time to kick off.

There’s a popular book series which I’m sure you’ve all heard of called “Where’s Wally” which contains pictures full of stuff and you have to spot the aforementioned Wally who is hidden somewhere.  Rumour has it that Saints are releasing their own version as an ‘extra’ on the DVD of the season called “Where’s Corky” as I couldn’t spot him in amongst the 20 outfield players as Mata got the ball out on our right with half the pitch to himself.  If you give a player like Mata a free crossing opportunity, then you know he’s not going to just hit it across without looking and miss everyone like say, Steeeeeve would do.  Oh no, he’s going to wait and not panic and then he’s going to put it right onto the forehead of  Ivanovic who’s going to thump it into the net from 6 yards giving Boruc no chance at all.  3-1 and we’ve let in 3 goals now in 10 minutes – all from down our right.

To make matters even more depressing, Nigel then gave up by taking off Morgan, our one midfielder who was competing and replacing him with Steeeeeve which meant Guly moving into the middle where we would now get completely overrun which it did 10 minutes later as Ramires and Hazard took the piss before the ball went through to Ba to make it 4-1 from close range.  To add to the general shiteness of things, the stretcher was on to take Jose Fonte off the pitch as he’d done his knee trying to get a last ditch tackle in.  Big Jos on.

Chelsea Romsey needs a pee again as we reach the hour mark.  It’s not the fact that he’s a Chelsea fan that’s the issue as he’s not giving it the large one despite them being 4-1 up.  The issue is that by now, I know everything about him as he’s just talking about anything other than the football in front of him.  He’s a teacher at a Romsey school where he’s been for 17 years and Mr Finn has now retired and he supports Everton and we bought him an Everton pink away shirt and had ‘Finny’ printed on the back of it with his age as the number. What a cunt.  If I’d been here with my Dad then my Dad would have told him to shut the fuck up, let alone me.  As I was here with the boy then I had to grit the teeth and get through it.

Unbelievably, I get to fell grateful towards Rafa as he takes off Ivanovic and brings on Frank Lampard so at least my son gets to see him play.  We manage our first attack of the second half straight after that and Guly pings in a great ball to Steeeeeeve whose first touch is shiiiiiiiiiiiite which allows Turnbull to smother his shot and then spring up to impressively keep out the follow up from Davis.  Normal service is soon resumed and Moses puts Ba in for his hat-trick only to see him denied by a decent save from Boruc who’s at it again to keep out a trademark Lampard shot from the edge of the box.  Punch is replaced with Tadanari Lee who goes out to the right wing to play in a position where he’s doubtless never played in his fucking life but I’m past caring now.

We’re getting destroyed by a much better side and the last thing you need in that situation is the referee to be a wanker but wanker he is as Lampard chips a ball against Steven Davis which hits him square in the chest which of course means a penalty.  I don’t really give a shit whether he scores or not but up steps Lampard to send Artur the wrong way.

It’s been a shocking day so far and so for the 3^rd time ever in 37 years of watching Saints games, I buggered off early.  I do feel a bit of a jerk for doing this as I often moan at other people for doing so but in my defence, the 2^nd time and today was because of my young kids having a mare.  My lad is struggling and I have to carry him back to the car which is the sort of thing he is getting far too heavy for.  By the time we get there and away, the radio is on just in time to hear the last rites from Dave Merrington.

And so my last ever FA Cup game comes to an end and we got dicked because whilst they were miles better than us, they also wanted to win a lot more than us and took the game a lot more seriously than us.  We were bloody pathetic and even though the cost was reduced, I resent having paid to watch that gutless pile of shit when even the manager gave up on the hour mark.  We often hear of Nigel “drawing a line” underneath a game when it’s over but he drew a line under this one as soon as the draw was made.  It annoys me that I even held the slightest hope that we might go out there and at least try to win the game.  That is categorically, me done with all Cup games (unless we draw the Skates or get to a quarter final).

It’s hard to pick out who played well for us today; Shaw, Guly, Davis, Punch and Morgan were ok in the first half and J-Rod took his goal well.  No one managed a decent full match though it was tough on Artur Boruc who was completely blameless for all of the goals and didn’t get much help from those in front of him.  Corky got shown up for what he is, a makeshift right back and JWP looked like a kid playing a mans game.   As a team we were alright for 30 minutes but we stopped playing as soon as Chelsea got their first.  The final hour was as bad as anything this season and just highlighted how poor we are when you dip into the squad.  Big Jos, Davis and Guly are passable, J-Rod and JWP are not strong enough, de Ridder and Lee just not good enough.

Next week we have a vital 6 pointer against Villa at Villa Park.  You have to think that Jose will be missing and Adam Lallana won’t be fit.  You also have to think that Big Jos will be starting as knowing us, the signing of Davide Astori or any other centre back won’t have been done in time but bearing in mind that Villa play with a big lumpy centre forward in Benteke, Big Jos should be fine.  Hopefully Nathaniel Clyne will be fit but if he isn’t, I really hope we play Frazer at right back as Corky is needed in midfield.  We’ll need another new captain and I can’t see either of the Davis brothers being in the side, it has to be one out of Morgan, Corky or Sir Rickie for what is the latest biggest game of the season.

So, work on Monday and I’m getting ready for an incoming tirade of unknowledgeable bullshit.

Premier League Match 20 - Southampton 1 Arsenal 1

Gaston Scores then Guly pulls it back !

Arsenal at home on New Years Day and what do we have, oh yes, a stupid Sky O’Clock kick off time.  Playing at 5.30 means that you know all the other scores before you kick off but forget the Premier League for a minute, the one I liked was Swindon 5 Portsmouth 0 – Happy New Year!!!

I guess this match was selected for Sky viewing so Arsenal fans can check out all the players that their club has been linked with through the media, in the ever building frenzy as we approach the transfer window... which of course is now officially open.  It’s difficult not to get annoyed when you read stuff like “part of Wenger’s business today will be to negotiate the purchase of Luke Shaw” as if it’s a fact and as if that turning up and getting three points is a given so Wenger can concentrate on transfers.  However, the truth will be nothing like that and as Nigel Adkins said – you have to negotiate with the Chairman and good luck with that!

The Chairman of course is The Don and it’s well known (allegedly) amongst the cynical that he has no interest in the pre-Liebherr Saints which makes it slightly odd that Terry Paine is here today to be officially unveiled as the new Honorary Club President.   I started watching Saints in 1975 so I only saw Terry play once at The Dell and that was against us for Hereford United where he went at the end of his 815 games, and 18 years as a Saint.  Terry was presented with an award on the pitch and conducted an interview with the irritating Bald Guy which I couldn’t hear a word of due to the shocking PA system.

Back to today and the the line-ups are announced and the random player chosen to be out of position today is Jack Cork who has been slotted into right back with Steven Davis coming into midfield.  Gaston has been recalled instead of J-Rod and Guly has deservedly kept his place on the wing after his good performance at Stoke.  There is also the welcome (in my eyes) choice of Artur Boruc in goal as Kelvin paid the price for one too many flapping expeditions and questionable goals conceded.  Arsenal have named the same side as last week which is understandable given that not too many changes are usually necessary after you’ve won your last game 7-3.  This meant an SMS return for both Theo Walcott and Alex Chamberlain who were on the middle and the right of Arsenal’s front 3.  With the other 4 of the front 6 being Podolski, Arteta, Wilshere and Cazorla... it was all a bit scary looking.

Arsenal made a decent start as expected and the first cross into our box was comfortable enough and heading straight to Boruc until it turned into a bar of soap mid-flight and pinged off his fingers and was hacked clear.  Five minutes later and another cross went straight to him and once more, the ball squirmed out and an alert Yoshida hacked it clear.  The battle down out left was Shaw versus Chamberlain and our boy was winning comfortably.  Chambo couldn’t do him for pace or strength which was good to see.

Saints gets their first real spell of possession as Morgan gets stuck in to dispossess Wilshere who lies on the ground to try and get a free kick to cover up for the fact that he lost it.  It’s all a bit scrappy for the next twenty minutes or so but it’s absorbing stuff and the time flies by.  Gaston bursts into the Arsenal box and goes down and half heartedly appeals but it’s nothing that’s ever going to get given.  It is enough though for the Arsenal fans to start chanting ‘Bale, Bale, Bale’ at him which is quite amusing.  Arsene Wenger is up in the technical area which brings a retaliatory “You’re just a French Jimmy Savile” from the Northam End which is slightly less amusing with an element of cringe thrown in.  From his next run at the box, Gaston is clipped by Koscielny who is trying to pull out of the tackle and though he stumbles, he keeps going and loses the ball which brings another round of ‘Bale, Bale, Bale’.  I think it was outside the box anyway but it’s another case of the choice you have as a player between going down and risking a booking or staying up and knowing you won’t get a free kick cos the ref won’t give it unless you go down.  You can see why so many players choose the Bale option.

On 35 minutes, Podolski, who should feel right at home being Polish in Southampton, loses the ball to Morgan who tries to feed Sir Rickie who is on his heels so Sagna nips in and clears it badly across the box straight to Punch who somehow squirts it back to Gaston who smashes it into the net past Szczesny (which on a triple word score gets 93) and SMS goes nuts and I manage to cut my shin on the seat in front of me.. safe standing... bring it back!!!

I’m immediately looking at my watch to see how long there is to go until half time and there is 8 minutes to the break as Arsenal get a free kick on the left as Punch needlessly brings down Arteta.  Walcott goes over to take it and swings it into an area which doesn’t contain any Arsenal players but it does contain Guly who tries to clear it and can only divert it straight past Boruc to make it 1-1.  Mr Scapegoat who sits behind my Dad is in apoplexy but he’s such a moron that he doesn’t know who to blame as you couldn’t see Guly get the touch from where we are in the Kingsland but the rest of us knew that it wasn’t “DAAAAAAAAAAAAVIS” who was to blame.  Eyes turned to the big screen to see what had happened but all we get is Walcott strike the free kick and then a ‘Shoulder to Shoulder, We are the Saints’ logo slogan bollocks. What’s the point of starting to show an uncontroversial incident and then cutting it?  Having seen the replay now, it cracks me up that some fans can blame the keeper for it – the only way it can even be partly Boruc’s fault is if he didn’t call and who knows if he did or not?

The remaining action of the first half sees Wilshere down again before miraculously recovering and Walcott having the ball in the net when the offside flag had already been up for a few seconds.  Half time arrived and 1-1 and a decent enough first half performance which was appreciated by the SMS faithful and off to the bar behind Mr Scapegoat who is probably going to yell at Kelvin Davis in the toilet.

The first ten minutes of the second half were pretty nondescript in terms of chances but I felt that we were the better side and Arsenal were really struggling up front with Cazorla and the three forwards producing very little.  For the neutrals watching on Sky, it must have been very annoying.  Guly was on a one man mission to make up for his own goal and picked up a half clearance on the left, turned away from Sagna who was having a shithouse of a game, before spinning and hitting a shot from 25 yards at the near post, forcing Szscesny to tip wide.   Guly’s resulting corner was a brilliant delivery which hit Sagna in front of his own goal and unluckily for us, couldn;t compouns his shite performance with an own goal and it span straight to the keeper.

Mr Wenger decided that all was not well and removed one of their big hitters with Podolski being replaced with Giroud with Chambo going left and Theo right which would present our whole defence with a new problem to deal with.  Morgan celebrated the yellow card amnesty which kicked in a few hours ago by trashing Cazorla and picking up a yellow card before we had a couple of half chances with Punch hitting the side netting on the stretch and Gaston blazing well over the bar from the edge of the box.  Saints won a free kick which was closer to Central Station that then Arsenal goal but The Great Gaston tried a shot regardless which bounced in front of Szczesny as the players piled in but sadly, Arsenal had no one of Guly’s attacking instinct to stick it in the net for us.

Artur was called into action a couple of times in quick succession and looked more confident as first he cleanly took a Sagna cross in a group of players and then comfortably saved an angled shot from Walcott before the major controversy of the game as following a decent passing move, Steven Davis chipped over Koscielny onto Gaston’s chest who turned and in one movement, buried it but the flag was up.  To get space, Gaston had given Koscielny the tiniest little nudge and the big strapping centre half had thrown himself forward like Bale, Bale Bale and made a massive meal of it which got him the free kick and the goal chalked off.  It’s soft as you like but the flag was up very early which doesn’t make it right but it at least makes it an honest decision.

Wilshere, who was easily the best Arsenal player on view, went down and stayed down again following another challenge by our team hard man, Gaston.  Later replay showed that he did in fact accidentally kick him in the head so I’ll let him have that one and it was now sub time with both managers going for the bench.  Nigel removed the clearly knackered Sir Rickie and replaced him with J-Rod and Wenger decided to play for a draw by removing Chambo and Cazorla and bringing on Ramsey and Gervinho and his Forehead.  Joking aside – as an opposition fan, I was absolutely delighted with Wenger’s choice of subs... how is that making their team more likely to score?  Ramsey has totally lost his way and Gervinho is just a big fucking head.  My substitution related mood took a turn for the worse as Nigel removed another large chunk of our goal threat with Gaston making way for James Ward-Prowse which basically said “Look Arsene, we have another youngster”.

The substitutions predictably did nothing for Arsenal but they did have one chance which Arteta slammed well wide from 25 yards.  Steeeeeve came on for Guly and his one positive contribution as time ran out was to start a move by beating a couple of players, which ended with JWP feeding Punch who cut past Gibbs before firing straight at Szczesny from close range which he kept out comfortably.  Two feet either side and who knows but trying to drill a hole through him had little chance of success.

The full time whistle blows and the cheer that goes up is the kind that’s usually reserved for a victory which this of course, is not.  It is however, a moral victory in that we played very well and totally deserved a point against a team that dicked us 6-1 earlier on in the season.  As the players take the applause of the crowd, Walcott and Chamberlain show their appreciation to all 4 sides of the ground which is a nice touch.  I don’t doubt that both players are grateful for the start they were given by us but I find myself with differing views on them.  To my mind, Theo left in a better way in that he hadn’t signed a professional contract with us and we basically, had no choice having just been relegated to the Championship.  Alex on the other hand couldn’t wait to get away.  It’s ironic that Theo is coming to the end of his contract so he’ll probably be moving somewhere and if for nothing other than payback for Arsene Wenger, I hope he leaves.   If Luke Shaw had clapped the Arsenal fans then you know that the media will have been all over it and the wrist-slashers in our own support would have been out in force.  So, it should be obvious to everyone that Theo is coming back to Saints..... well, I can dream.

If you look around our starting XI then it’s full of players who had very good games.  Artur improved as the game went on after the nervous start which I put down to solely, not having played at all for 4 months.  There’s something a bit amiss if there is a goalkeeper who is likely to be thrust into action in the First team hasn’t even had a warm up game for the Under 21s.  Corky at right back was a worry for me as he was pretty poor whenever he ended up there last year but today he didn’t give Podolski a sniff who was substituted, then he didn’t give Chambo a look in and he was subbed as well and replace with The Forehead who may as well have not bothered, seeing how little he did.  My worry was that moving Corky out of midfield would weaken that area but Steven Davis came in and had his best game for us, always being available and curbing his natural instinct to attack more and digging in strongly.    Going back to players not getting a sniff – Walcott and then Giroud did nothing in the face of Fonte and Yoshida who are now looking like an excellent partnership at the back.  As for Luke Shaw, well he was superb as usual, a fact that won’t have been missed by anyone.  Hands off Mr Wenger.

Nigel was full of beans in his interview, lauding the effort against a team who had been stuffing everyone out of sight.  He’s right of course though over the next few days we will be bombarded with reports of how bad Arsenal were and our performance will be reduced to a ‘Not wishing to take anything away from Southampton but....’  Some things never change but it’s nice to get any sort of positive result against one of the big boys.  I'd rather get a result and take all the condescending shit in the media than get beat.

A quick turnaround once again as it’s FA Cup time on Saturday and we have Chelsea who will be desperate to do well in this competition and Rafa Benitez will want to justify his presence as Chelsea Manager.   No matter what noises come out of SFC in the next few days – we won’t be desperate to win this and expect to see some serious squad rotation and players like Frazer, Foxy, James Ward-Prowse and even Tadanari Lee getting a run out.   We’re even rotating the kit as the red one will be needed for the more important League games and we’re playing in that abomination of a white kit.  Reagrdless of kit and personnel, let’s hope we chalk another trophy off the Rafa wish list.