Yoshida, Fonte and Hooiveld get ready for another Air Raid
A trip to The Potteries to take on Stoke City in a
guaranteed nil pointer if ever there was one as lightweight Saints go like
lambs to the slaughter to play against the might of Stoke City, with the
meanest defence in the league and a bullying attack. I pinched that last sentence off of some
betting website which was previewing the game.
Well we might as well not bother turning up then. A quick scan of Twitter and Saints web forums
revealed that the prevailing mood amongst our own fans was just this, that we
had no chance.
To be fair, it’s quite easy to understand why everyone
seemed to think this way. Under Tony
Pulis, Stoke have turned into a formidable unit with pace and power and sheer
physical size all over their team and they have some very good footballers like
Peter Crouch, Robert Huth, Kenwyne Jones and Jonathan Walters who I always
thought was severely average when he was at Ipswich but moving to Stoke has
seen him turned into a really decent player.
They have some players who I have believed from afar to be really
average like Andy Wilkinson and Glenn Whelan but as a unit they’re formidable
and haven’t lost at home for 10 months.
Easy then. As their team as
announced, Crouch was on the bench alongside ex-footballer Michael Owen who has
followed the Wayne
Bridge
Nigel had decided to change a few players for this game with
Gaston, Steven Davis and Nathaniel Clyne making way and being replaced with the
beefier Guly, Jos Hooiveld and J-Rod. A
quick calculation revealed that Maya Yoshida would be at right back which I was
not terribly happy about but other than that I was fine with the selection. Whilst I would not necessarily ever advocate
dropping your most creative player, today is the sort of game when Gaston would
not have got on the ball much and may well have got roughed up and retaliated
so I could see why he was left out. It
was with great joy that I saw the unmistakeable figure of Mark Twattenburg as
referee for this one so standby for a load of stuff to be missed altogether and
a general inconsistency in decision making.
As the game started, the camera (cheers Wiziwig) panned to
Jos Hooiveld and even though I’m not the religious type, I prayed that Jos
would not add to his tally of own goals for this season. So, quietly and respectfully, everyone pray
for Jos. The game starts and we look ok
but one immediate irritation is clear; Stoke have rightfully been getting
praise for their football following their 3-1 battering of Liverpool last week
and the commentators (dunno who they are) are creaming themselves over every
long ball pumped up towards Walters and Jones.
Whilst the aforementioned Stoke players are a handful, there’s no goal
threat there for now as the defence is coping well and mopping up all the 2nd
balls.
For our part, we’re not fannying about in defence or
midfield and are concentrating on turning Stoke around to get them
defending. It’s obviously a game plan
Nigel and the coaching boys have come up with to deal with the more direct
opposition (remember we got twatted 4-1 at West Ham). And so it came to pass in the tenth minute
that Punch fed J-Rod who played it wide left to Guly who made himself a yard
and whipped it in right footed over left back Wilkinson and straight onto the
foot of Sir Rickie who buried it past ex-Skate Begovic to make it 1-0. The sound of thousands of punters ripping up
betting slips was music to the ears of anyone of a Saints persuasion. Now defend for a bit please lads.
Stoke’s next attack made it look like it was going to be a
very short term lead as good play by Shotton down the right ended with a low
cross which Nzonzi scuffed nowhere near the goal. A bit like the Sessegnon effort last week, it
turned into a perfect pass to Kenwyne Jones who went on strike and refused to
play until he was allowed a transfer.
Actually, much funnier than that he got to the ball first as Superkelv
rushed out and put an absolute sitter wide of the empty goal.
At this point my stream of the match died and I got it back
just in time to see Shotton nutmeg Shaw down our left and cross in low to where
Jones backheeled a lovely finish past Superkelv and in at the far post to
become another member of the ever growing ‘Bastard Club’ of ex-players who have
scored against us this season.
The commentators are now in full fawn mode as Walters gets
the ball again but I’m in shock a moment later as a long throw is hurled into
our box and Superkelv rises like a salmon and plucks it out of the air with an
air of authority under a high ball which he never usually displays. Superkelv rolls it out to Big Jos who bombs
it up the pitch straight to the chest of Sir Rickie who brings it down and
arrows in a cross towards J-Rod who is beaten to it by the boot of the
outstretched Huth who lobs it onto his own cross bar and down for J-Rod to
knock into an empty net. Fuck me we’re
2-1 up and cue commentators lamenting the loss of two of Stoke’s regular
defenders to suspension.
The fact is that we’re the better side by a mile and Punch
brings a sharp save out of Begovic when he latches onto a Sir Rickie flick and
runs at the defence. Guly is having a
superb game out on the left and the only worry is that we are not really
winning headers cleanly at the back.
There’s no shame in this as Jones is a big lad and as we remember, he’s
some athlete so he’s a handful…. but so are we as a corner is cleared out as
far as Punch who returns it into the box to where Sir Rickie heads down and
Wilkinson nips in front of J-Rod and Begovic to slice it into his own goal off
his shin to make it 3-1, great finish lad.
It’s all a bit surreal but not surreal enough for Jack
Cork’s 30 yarder to hit the net as Begovic saved well. I was fully expecting Stoke to get one back
before half time but the defence stood up well with all 4 players getting stuck
in strongly and Big Jos not putting anything in his own goal. Half time and 3-1 up… what the fuck is going
on? It is by no means job done as Stoke
have some bench and we’ll no doubt see Crouch and ex-footballer Michael Owen
before the end.
The second half starts with a predictable barrage of Stoke
pressure but as before, we’re repelling it, if not comfortably and trying to
turn Stoke around by playing accurate long balls upto the forwards. J-Rod is under a ball and decides that rather
than being in the middle of a Huth and Wilkinson sandwich, he’s not going to
bother jumping and just let them smash into eachother with a sickening clash of
heads which requires two of those bandage turbans, new shirts, new shorts and
about four minutes of stoppages.
We’re still getting chances though and J-Rod nearly gets put
through but a lovely ball from Cork
but Sir Rickie does put him through with our next effort. He has to do better than just poke it at the
keeper and the rebound from Begovic’s foot flies straight to Guly who first
time and with his weaker left foot, fires wide of a gaping goal. Both should have done better and it’s a
criticism of both of them that neither are clinical in front of goal. So, it should have been 4-1 and you know what
happens next, 3 bloody 2 as a corner is half cleared but it lands at the feet
of Upson who shoots straight through Superkelv who again has a question mark
over a goal he’s let in. Shit!
The Stoke love-in has restarted in the commentary box and
suddenly they are the unluckiest team in the world though to be fair they have
a point as Walters cross to Jones is blatantly punched off his head by Jose who
is grateful that Twattenburg didn’t see it.
There was nothing unlucky about what happened to Stoke next though as Cork won the ball off
Nzonzi in midfield who got the red mist and chased after the Saints man and
went to do him. More by luck than
judgement, his stamp didn’t make much contact with Cork ’s leg but a red card came out
anyway. Yes, Corky made a bit of a meal
of it but even if he hadn’t, Nzonzi still had to go.
Stoke responded to the red card by putting us under more and
more pressure. We of course should have
responded by modifying our game plan and passing the ball about to make use of
the extra man but we didn’t and were now struggling to get out of our
half. Meanwhile, Superkelv was flapping
about like a budgie trying to get near throw-ins being bombed into our
box. Stoke used their bench with Crouch
and Cameron Jerome coming on and basically played a 3-2-4 formation.
There’s been a lot of debate in football about diving
recently and there was a classic example from Peter Crouch who lost the ball to
Yoshida and decided to have a little dive.
It shouldn’t be a shock to anyone that a six foot eight gangly streak of
piss is always going to look like a complete wanker when he tries to dive. Meanwhile, J-Rod picks up a booking for
hoofing the ball at the goal after the whistle had blown which is insignificant
now but not later.
It’s sub time with Fox coming on for Shaw as a straight swap
and then Frazer appearing in place of Punch which is a bit too negative for my
liking but at least it’s another big lad coming on. It’s all Stoke now as we reach the last ten
minutes with Superkelv still flapping and missing and Crouch flicking on a long
ball to Jerome who is a) offside and b) has already been booked. The whistle goes and he lobs it into the net
which according to J-Rod’s incident of about 5 minutes ago, gets him a (2nd)
yellow card but not in the eyes of the Twatt who decides that this one doesn’t
warrant it.
We are in the 90th minute but there are 7 extra
ones to go as the ball gets bombed up to Crouch who cushions it with a large
suggestion of handball back to Jerome who absolutely mullers it into the top
corner from 30 yards. It’s an
unbelievable strike to be fair, similar to that Tony Yeboah one that’s always
up there in those ‘100 best goals ever’ features. Fuck me, what a goal.
We have just the one scare in the seven minutes that remain
as Crouch gets his head on a free kick and heads at Superkelv who for some
reason, flaps it out into the middle of a crowded goal mouth and it’s pure luck
that it falls to the Man from Japan who hacks it away. Full time and 3-3.
Again I’m wondering where to start with this one. We would have snapped their hand off for a
point at the start of play but there is a feeling of ‘two points dropped’ which
stems from the J-Rod and Guly misses at 3-1 which immediately went to 3-2 and the red card. However, Stoke totally deserved their draw
and we didn’t do enough in the second half to close the game out which puts us in the company of all the other teams in Stoke's unbeaten home run. Against the ten men we should have tried to
keep the ball a bit better but we didn’t and invited Stoke onto us at every opportunity.
Overall though, it’s a good point and you can see why they don’t lose at
home. The pressure they put you under is
intense and our lads can be proud of the way they stood up to it. The selection in defence was spot on and Guly
had a fantastic game down the left hand side (miss aside). This was predictably the tone taken from
Nigel’s post match interview whereas Pulis predictably concentrated on Jack
Cork’s role in Nzonzi’s sending off. How
dare he just lie there while your player tries to stamp on him. I know he’s just trying to get him off on
appeal but fucking hell, he lost his rag and went to do him and missed… oh
yeah, let him off because he missed. Also of course, anyone remember Huth stamping on Suarez' chest earlier in the season? Regardless of whether the little shit deserved it or not, Pulis is probably trying to avoid Stoke getting a totally undeserved reputation for stamping on people.
Having said that Nigel got the team right, an area where I
believe Nigel got it wrong was in goal.
We may as well have not had a keeper in the 2nd half as he
claimed nothing and saved nothing either.
Obviously he had no chance with the 3rd goal but the second
is dodgy but more than that, it’s the general flapping about. Boruc was signed as the Number 1 keeper and
it’s now time to get him in the side to see what he can do. I don’t care what his faults are… all I know
is that he is a better keeper than Davis and a better keeper than Gazza and
needs to be playing – now!
Next up is a New Years Day fixture against Arsenal who have
just torn Newcastle a new arsehole to the tune of 7-3 with Theo Walcott,
already a member of the ‘Bastard Club’ scoring a hat-trick in his latest
attempt to get Wenger to play him up front.
I guess the question is… ‘who will Luke Shaw be playing for?’. I hope he’s in the side or the rumour mill
will have a sodding field day. Oh great,
the transfer window is about to open to the internet should probably be avoided
at all costs.
Results on Saturday meant we dropped back into the bottom 3
so we need to come out in the Arsenal match, forget the fact that we got dicked
6-1 at their place and that typically, as with the start of the season, we’re
playing them when they’re flying but why not.
Bring it on.
Happy New Year Everyone (except Arsene Wenger)
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